Doug Loves Movies - Geoff Tate, Josh Wolf and Justin Thompson guest

Episode Date: June 4, 2017

Live from The Comedy Zone in Charlotte, Doug welcomes Geoff Tate, Josh Wolf and Justin Thompson to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sticky seeds With 50 azopop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug loves movies Hey everybody Hey Hey, everybody. I don't know if it's me or I don't know why we're having these false starts lately. Oh, you guys haven't heard it yet, but in Lexington, Kentucky, I was upstairs.

At least the green room is closer here. I was upstairs in a green room and I hear my name being announced and I'm going on stage and I was like, I could run downstairs and run onto that stage and start doing my show or I could calmly walk down there. And you guys didn't get a chance to do it today but at that show people started

heckling the empty stage and getting laughs. I don't know what they were saying, but as I was approaching the showroom, I could hear the audience laughing. I was like, why would they be laughing if there's no one on stage? Hey, everybody.

My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you once again, happy to be back from the comedy zone in Charlotte, North Carolina! Yeah! And for the listeners at home, I raise my hands above my head

when I say the name of the town, just in case the people are mostly drove in from elsewhere and don't have that much enthusiasm. Who thinks they came the farthest to be here today? Yeah? Where's woot woot? Where's that? Where'd you come from? Tampa?

Tampa? You had some other reason to be here. Right? Just to see this. It is true. I don't do this show in Tampa anymore because the comedy club I play there can't record shows. Or they failed twice, I should say.

So you really made the fucking effort. That's amazing You gotta drive back right after the show? Tomorrow, okay, good for you You're doing it right Where's the girl that wants me to sign her tit? Oh, it is you I should have a show like Matlock, but it's called Potlock. But we met at Fort Lauderdale.

Yeah, see, that's confusing to put this shit together, but I got there. Yeah, this, that's confusing to put this shit together, but I got there. Yeah, this poor young lady enjoys my work so much that she wants me to sign her tit, and then she's going to make it into a permanent tattoo. Yeah, and I think as a group we should talk her out of that. Because I can't say no if she insists. I've never turned down a tit. I will not sign that. That is beneath me.

That's what I said to a dwarf who asked me that. I said the right word at least, dwarf. I didn't go midgie. I didn't make a Bill Maher type mistake and use the M word. Ha ha ha ha. Oh my God, it got so cold in here. It's Saturday, June 3rd, 2017, and you guys never disappoint with the name tags.

And it's true again. Look at this shit. This is crazy. Don't you guys have jobs or something? Probably do them at your jobs, don't you? That's right. Little Nicky. I like it. Episode 1, the who? The Phantom Matt? Mattis? Because your name is Matt?

Phantom Mattis. Okay. Did you think Jacob Searoff was going to be here today? So, yeah. So, you put his face real big on there. Turn around and show everybody how big the Jacob Searoff face is on that. Like, I don't even think there was a character in that movie Whose face was that big on that poster But good job and good luck

And we got a Captain America Shields Frisbee It's a what? Your name is Eric? So you made it Captain Eric? Okay You know you guys Puns aren't everybody's thing

take Armour Brendan for example did you ever see that movie Dan in real life where the poster is what's his name Steve Carell has his face on some pancakes? Bren Dan in Real Life. Even easier to Photoshop. And easier for me to say.

What's this, something for Vendetta over there? B for Vendetta. there b for bendetta and your name of course is deada well there's lots of good ones lots of big ones i like to have some people put theirs down and waited for me to turn back in their direction you got to save your arm strength. I really like this one that Shiny made. Shiny's Awakening. Yeah, that one's pretty cool. I saw that one on the internet. But anyway, lots of good ones. Oh, the fish is back.

Didn't you win the prizes or something? But somebody picked it? Nobody picked that thing? It's on the fucking stage already. For the listeners, it's an adorable Pixar fish hanging from a hook. So PETA's not happy about that, but

it's floating around over the stage. It's even holding an envelope, which probably has a shithead in it. So well done and good luck. If I were one of the guests, I would pick that. A fish and pole. Do they get to one of the guests, I would pick that, a fishing pole. Do they get to keep it? She's not sure about that.

What's that bright, what's that, yeah, what's that thing you're shaking around back there? What is that? Beetlejuice? D, because your name's D? Beetlejuice. But what does that have to do with all those lights? Okay, Dee, here's what we need to do. Hand that to someone that's standing right next to you.

Yeah, let someone else hold it. Yeah, perfect. Now come up here, D. I just want her to see how the lights don't help in terms of seeing it. Where is she? Oh, that's the way it works here. It'd be weird if she walked up with two plates full of cheese fries. Hey, Dee.

Check it out. What does it say? She even knows what it says, and she's not quite sure. But thank you for walking all the way up here and for making a nice sparkly name tag. Yeah, I think like when you're driving around in the dark and you see Christmas lights, they're not lighting, they're not making it easier to see the house. They're just

a bunch of Christmas lights. So, I feel like Bill Nye or something right now. so I feel like Bill Nye or something right now. I don't have a crappy Netflix show. His Netflix show is crappy? All right. There's no reason to say that.

But I'm putting it out there that people are saying. The scuttlebutt from the audience, apropos of nothing, just yelling it out at me. Bill Nye stinks. I should try to get him on this show. Oh, the prize bag. Let's get into the prize bag, you guys. I'm having a great time here in Charlotte.

I'm really getting into the groove of how things work in Charlotte. You know what I mean? Like, if you're in line at the bank, you're going to hear some stories. Nobody's in a rush. I got a squirt gun somewhere, so I'm giving that away. It's empty. It's empty. It's good. It's safe. Somebody's clicking something back there that's frightening me.

Peacemaker pipe. Is it illegal to give these away here? No. What about this smashed up cookie I got on the plane is that legal is that okay what state is the cookie from state of madness i brought a copy of my cd promotional tool uh this is a cool, I went to the I'm Dying Up Here party that they had for the new Showtime show, I'm Dying Up Here.

And the show takes place in the 70s when, you know, when there were these things everywhere. Ash trays. So it's a cool I'm Dying Up Here ash tray which I'm going to keep one of those, but I grabbed a few of them. I filled my pockets with them at the party

it's the only reason I go to those things is just to get a bunch of shit for the prize bag some gum that says I should be a better person but I'm not on it don't know what that's about Douglas Movies t-shirt yeah and

oh this is a weird thing couple of weird things this is this weird thing couple of weird things this is a weird bandana thing that I got at a music festival called the hangout fest where like if you wet it and then put it around your neck or on your head it like keeps you cool but it just stays wet or no

it stays cool stays cool and wet so I'm never gonna use it I want you guys to stay cool and wet i like i like to be hot and bothered and then i was at that festival and i was going through security and one of the guys that works security when he sees me he goes why the fuck are you wearing a sweater? Because it was like 90 out or whatever. And I was just like, dude,

why are you swearing at me? With an accent, it's just all too much. Oh shit, the gum. Gum down. Oh shit, we avoided Armour Brendan. See, I still can't say it. Can't get it right. But one last thing.

I don't know who gave this to me. It was in my suitcase for a while, and I found it again. I'm not a big fan of drawings or pictures of me, especially when I don't think they're accurate or when they're too accurate. So this lovely person sent me this, and it's a drawing of me that I'm not... I wouldn't want to put it up on my wall or anything, but maybe you guys would do something with it.

And he included a quote from my stand-up comedy. I was on the toilet for so long, the other day I finally said to myself, I'm getting too old for this shit. So thank you to that guy for drawing it. I can't read his name because he's got an artist's signature at the bottom. It's just a squiggle. But maybe reach out to me on Twitter and say,

I'm the guy that gave you that thing you didn't like. And I'd be like, I'm sorry. And then we'll move on with our lives I'm so excited about what's happening here today on this show some of the name tags I saw you figured out who the guests are going to be one or two of the guests

but I don't think anybody hit the trifecta but we did this show at a club in Greenville South Carolina a while back. And I managed to put together here in Charlotte, North Carolina, a reunion of the same three guests. Please give a warm welcome to Justin Thompson, Josh Wolfe, and Jeff Tate. Hot, hot, hot, hot. The listeners probably can't hear it,

but when people move their chairs in here, the floor is concrete, so it makes this large fart noise that makes me laugh every time. But also, isn't it funny that the comedians get to stand? It's kind of a reversal of how these things work a lot of the time. We're standing on luxurious carpeting up here, and you guys are on just the concrete basement floor. So, yeah.

Let's meet them individually, starting with the man to my direct right. It's Justin Thompson, everybody. Hey. Hey, everybody. Hey. Hey, everybody. How's it going? Atlanta comedy phenom made the trip into Charlotte for the show today and for this tearful reunion. You guys were so cute backstage in the green room, all the hugs and the tears.

It was pretty amazing you know I didn't go to my high school tenure reunion but I made it today yeah you made it to this some reunions are more important than others you've made friendships here the last a lifetime at least till the end of the day you're right cuz we are gonna get really high later. As opposed to now, am I right? Yeah, keep it sober for the show. I'm pro, you guys.

People in this audience even saw me outside smoking. So, Justin, how do you feel about your chances here today? Did you win the first time? Or did Jeff win that day? I think Jeff won the first one. Yeah, I think so. And then I won other episodes I was on. And then now I'm like, oh, Jeff's probably going to win. Don't say yes.

You're supposed to be on my side. I'm the underdog here. The audience is betting on Jeff. Hey, do you guys love that Beetlejuice poster back there? It's still up in the end for some reason. It says Beetlejuice. Just trust me. It says Beetlejuice.

I'm not even sure about that. From the side, I was reading another poster with lights. There was another one with lights. Yeah. It's just harder to read the ones with lights. I don't know what it is. They hurt rather than help. Yeah. Oh, he put to read, the ones with lights. I don't know what it is. They hurt rather than help. Yeah.

Oh, he put some Tito's on it. If one of you guys pick that one, I'll be happy to take that Tito's. Oh, that's sweet. Can I keep those lights? Yeah. You want to make a Ryan's belt on your bedroom ceiling or something? That's Josh Wolfe, everybody.

Hey, Doug. I feel like maybe I should get... Now, I don't know if you guys have ever heard me on the show before. I don't know shit. But I feel like I should get some extra points because we're wearing the same clothes.

I feel like they didn't get the memo and where you and I, you know, are pretty similar. But we've got our differences. Like, we're in the same band and we want to be individuals. Yeah. You go hat, I go hair. You go orange shirt day after everyone was supposed to wear orange. In fact, Justin's doing that as well.

Yesterday was wear orange day. It was? Yeah. For what? And I was like, I don't have any. Who has things that are orange that you could just whip out and wear and you guys are doing it a day late?

Yeah. Why was it wear orange day? I already forgot. Well, why did everybody wear orange? Because they're against gun violence? Bring awareness to juice? Gun violence awareness. Oh, why did everybody wear orange? Because they're against gun violence? Bring awareness to juice? Gun violence awareness. Oh, so did people stop killing each other because they wore the shirts?

Oh, then, yeah, that's why I didn't fucking wear it. Because it's just a fucking shirt. I think they chose orange because that's, you know, a white shirt will look like that after gun violence. They wore orange so people could see you really clearly. Oh, shoot that dude with the orange shirt. Yeah, I see him. The premise of this is they didn't realize they were aiming towards a person. So they had to put an orange shirt on.

Everyone just thought they were hunting deer or whatever. Yeah, if we all wore orange shirts, there wouldn't be any more shootings. We'd all be safe. That's what I'm saying, yeah. Very smart. So let's just get right to them without any further ado. The very smart Jeff Tate is here. Hello.

Hey, everybody. I'm very excited, again, to have this special reunion because we had a really fun time in Greenville and so I think this will be fun today too but also I've got I'm excited to say that there's going to be some Jeff Tate Douglas movies

news coming up soon I'm not going to tell you everything about it right now in fact that's all I'm going to say I have to tell you fans of Jeff Tate you look so confident about it right now. In fact, that's all I'm going to say. I have to tell you, he looks... Fans of Jeff Tate. You look so confident, like you know you're going to win. Look at him. He's just

back like... You know you're going to win. This is just how you have to sit when you're as big as the stool. Like, I don't have any extra stool. Alright. I'm just going any extra stool. All right. I'm just going to say it, you guys. I'm just going to go ahead and make the announcement right now,

because that makes a lot of sense, what you said about his confidence. We've arranged for Jeff Tate to play this game against a computer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A Russian computer. We're going to make this country great again. Oh, yes. I'm going to take down that Russian movie trivia computer. How would you feel

Would you feel confident Playing a computer A computer with trivia I think Could just look up Every answer right Like why would it Not know anything

Yeah You know what I mean It's not like chess Like it doesn't need to know What your next move's gonna be Or that's it What if you played some game Where they didn't know

What you were gonna say next Again it's still A fucking computer You're gonna lose lose, Jeff. Event canceled. Forget I even mentioned it. I have a chance if it's that game where you just repeat the name of the movie title

you just said. Like, I might be able to do it faster than a computer. A computer might be like, what was that again? But not me. Please repeat. Like, will you type again? But not me. Please repeat. Like when you type in the password. Nope.

Try again. God damn it. If I don't get this right in three times. Then you have to fill out a cap. I'm going to have to do my banking tomorrow. I'm going to get locked out of my money for a day. All right. All right, let's see what else.

Oh, Jeff drove down from Cincy to be here, so thank you for doing that. I did, yeah. What's further, Tampa or Cincy? Tampa? Yeah. From here? Yeah.

Probably Tampa. Then Cincinnati? Yeah. Cincinnati's like seven or eight hours. Why don't we ask her? She's sitting right there. How long was the drive? Nine and a half. Nine and a half hours?

In a row? No. She made a few stops to get her other tits on. Did we talk you out of it? No? She still wants to do it. From here on, a long drive to one of your shows is going to be called the Tampa Titty.

Like, that's the move name now. You pull the old Tampa Titty? What would have happened if you didn't say that? Has anyone said tit-too yet yet instead of tattoo? Like she's got a tattoo on her tit? I think so, yeah.

Somebody said that already? I think it's on one of my albums. Yeah. That's probably where I heard it. Because I talk about the guy getting... I talk about the guy that really...

There's a man in Kansas City that I'll probably see on July 2nd who has my name tattooed on his tit. Really? Yeah.

And I did call it a tattoo at that time. But that's, you know, anybody could think of that. Do you want to have it? A computer wouldn't think a tattoo though. No, no, no. That's where you got it. A computer. We got it all over computers on puns.

Yeah, they won't ever get that. They'll always be like, that's fucking stupid. That's not the right word. That's fucking stupid. That's not the right word. That's not the right word. Yeah, every pun has a red line under it. Do you think we should just tell this lady that she's about to have the exact same tattoo as just some dude in Kansas City?

That's, if I found out just a guy in Kansas City had any of the same tattoos as mine, I would fucking chop it off. Does that dude in Kansas City know you keep referring to his pec as a tit? Now he does. And why doesn't that guy in the Snickers commercial know that he's just asking for trouble

when he wants no regrets written on his arm? You're saying that, you know, it's almost like you say, could you put Murphy's Law on my... Murphy's Law? What's wrong with you? Fucking asked for it. I hate those commercials with movie stars in them

because A, I always immediately... My first thought is, I want to see this movie. And then it turns out to just be George Clooney getting an espresso machine for his home. Or my next thought is, oh, this is a Snickers commercial. And then it isn't even that anymore. Like I saw Sylvester Stallone in something,

I thought it was a Snickers commercial and it's not even a fucking- It was a beer commercial. It was a beer commercial, It was a beer commercial. Yeah. I've just been told. Well, you know, they held up a beer at the end of the commercial. I had stopped watching it. I don't think I've seen a Stallone beer

commercial. What beer is it for? It's with him and Canelo Alvarez. It's a boxer. But what beer is it for? It's Cate Light. Thank you. Wow. Do you drink it? Did you guys know that answer because you drink it because of that commercial? Whoa.

That dude's sitting next to the Tampa Titty. You don't want to fuck with him. Wait, so that's a boxer he's talking to? So it's some sort of this is like a beer for boxers? Real and fake. We got beer for all kinds, for both kinds of boxers.

Real boxers and fake boxers. I think you have officially put more time into the commercial than the people who made the fucking commercial. For half the money. Actually, it cost you zero money, I think. I got a couple of questions for you guys.

Half the money. Starting. I feel super weird being on this side of the stage. Why? Because you're down there and I'm down here and it's usually you're usually down here. You're usually on stage right. And everybody is off to the other side of you.

I don't know why. For some reason in this space, I felt like it would be better to have me over here. I don't know why. I don't know what came over me. Are you already making excuses why you're going to lose? Yeah, but not to you. I know. Yeah, but not to you. I know. Yeah, I know.

He's afraid he's going to lose to whoever we pick to replace you when I throw you off the stage. Well, I was going to take... Fuck off my stage. I was going to take that as a vote of confidence in my skill, but all right,

maybe it's one of you guys. Yeah, it could be anybody. It could be anybody here. You cannot fuck with any of these dudes who would agree to do this. I know. What? This is for after, but

you guys are great. Thanks for coming, everybody. The question is, Justin, last movie you saw. Alright. You can do it. Or we can come back to you. You can pass. Well, you know, I don't want to be honest.

Oh, really? That's what this is all about. If people lie to me, I'll throw a donut at you. Well, I don't want to do that to our friendship. Because there's a box of donuts on the stage, by the way. I watched about an hour of Lost in Space. The one with William Hurt and...

1998, yes. And Joey Tribbiani. Yeah. And Heather Roller Girl Graham. Yeah, that's the one. Not good, right? It is awful. Yeah, it didn't work out so good is awful. It felt like a personal attack.

It did. The adaptations of TV shows, it's a mixed bag. They're either great or terrible. There's hardly any in-betweeners in that genre. In that genre of let's take a show people really don't give a shit about

and turn it into a movie people cannot give a shit about. You don't give a shit about and turn it into a movie people cannot give a shit about. Yeah, you don't give a shit about any of the characters. The effects don't hold up. It was... I don't think the effects were good at the time. I saw it. I saw it day one, probably.

Yeah, I probably did too, but I was like nine when that came out. I used to be a day one-er on all the big movies. I just seen the day they opened. Now I'm like, I will see that on a plane and sleep. Yeah, yeah. But I saw that they're going to adapt it for a Netflix series. Lost in Space?

Yeah. Okay. I mean, Netflix has just got all the money, so they can just do whatever they want. Have you seen the remake on Netflix of One Day at a Time? No. How is that? I have not.

I haven't. Are you that guy that brings up things that you haven't seen, but the way you ask the question sounds like you have? Yes, I do that all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One Day at a Time is a colloquialism to describe grinding through a real struggle. And they name their show that?

And then their show is a real struggle to get through? You just get through the show? It's like one day at a time? Is she an alcoholic? Is the mother an alcoholic? Is that why it's called One Day at a Time? Did you never see the old One Day at a Time? I did, but was she an alcoholic?

I don't think so. Or was it just more like, you know? In real life, she was. But not... Are you here disparaging the great Bonnie Franklin I if

if that's who's in the show I guess I am yeah didn't she sing let's give him something to talk about no

that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's

that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's

that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's

that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's

that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's

that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's

that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's

that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's

that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's different Bonnie. We're not doing TV shows today, right? Do you think you know what the last movie you saw was, Josh? I told you what it was in the green room. It was the worst movie I've ever seen. Oh, wow. That's quite a statement.

Song to song. Song to song. Yeah. It's Malick. It was the fucking worst movie I've ever seen in my... You keep saying that. Has anyone seen it?

Exactly. Is that a sequel to the original song? Song 2, song. Two song, two song. I have no idea what the answer to that question is. Yeah, the movie's called

Song 2, colon, Song. Like Jungle to Jungle. Yeah. I don't know why they didn't... That would have been great if they did that with Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman, colon, Wonder Woman.

It's the first one, but we just want to be clear. It was so bad. It's the first one, but we just want to be clear. It was so bad. It was so bad. So they didn't really even speak the whole movie. They did a lot of putting of each other's thumbs in each other's mouths. I want to see this now.

No, you do not. If you get through an hour of it, let me know. It was so bad. It takes place in Austin, so I'll be like, oh, I've been to that bar or whatever. That's fun to do. I put my thumb in a dude's mouth in that bar. I put my whole fist in the guy's butt at the Jackalope.

I lost my keys in some dude's at the Continental. At the Blue Oyster. What'd you say? Where? I lost my keys and some dude at the Continental. I'm just naming the... Is that a place there? Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Where I lost my keys. I thought we'd start saying the names of funny place names there, but Continental, that sounds fine. Not behind it. Like if you go behind the Continental, that's where all the butt stuff's happening. Is that in the Austin Tourist Guidebook?

Yeah. It's in a section called Continental Drift. It's called Continental Divide. Oh no. Hey, it's a movie reference. Good job. I have to be honest. I didn't know that was a movie.

For a bonus point, Josh, name the star of Continental Divide. Dan Aykroyd. Why would you guess that when it's John Belushi? How could you get that close? Son of a bitch! I thought there's no way Dan Aykroyd was in a movie

called Continental Divide, but he almost was. Yeah! I mean, fuck, he might have been. He could have been, yeah. I've never seen it. Oh, my God. Do I get credit for that? Who starred in Dr. Detroit?

Huh? Dr. Detroit? Who starred in Dr. Detroit? Huh? Dr. Detroit? Who starred in Dr. Detroit? Dan Aykroyd and Howard Hessman. I didn't ask for you, first of all. And... Answer the question, Josh. Yeah.

Who stars in Dr. Detroit well I'm assuming since you asked me that Dan Aykroyd does no I thought you'd switch to Belushi on that one oh yeah but it is Dan Aykroyd

yeah Jeff Jeff what was what's the worst movie you've ever seen right no I know the answer it's Natural Born Killers no you don't know the answer it's Natural Born Killers I fucking hate Natural Born Killers worst movie you've ever seen? Right? No, I know the answer.

It's Natural Born Killers. No, you don't know the answer. It's Natural Born Killers. I fucking hate Natural Born Killers. Natural Born Killers is the worst movie you've ever seen. See, this is what happens. I was mad the whole time. This is what happens. That can't...

It's fucking... I mean, I didn't see it until a year ago. Every movie has somebody who likes it or doesn't think it's the worst movie ever. So when you say worst movie ever, it's quite a gauntlet you're throwing down. This lady says Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a fucking classic.

Oh, part two. Apologies, I didn't let you get your whole heckle out. Shut the fuck up. Sorry about that, but can you imagine if this show was everyone in the audience gets to tell us the worst movie of all time? First of all, we'd be here forever. Josh has two headliner shows here tonight. Who's coming back to see Josh later tonight?

Is anyone doing that? Don't get too excited. Tampatiddy, I got two tickets for you if you want to come. But you have no idea. You drove up here. So yeah, if you want to come show tonight, I got you. What about Takate? Can you hook up Takate?

I like Tampatiddy and Takate as a whole thing. I like him as a team with an ampersand. Like Will and Grace. Tampa Titty and Takate. Next week on Tampa Titty and Takate. I would like them to be partners on Survivor. No, Amazing Race.

Survivor doesn't have partners. I get too excited and start saying the wrong words. How do you think you'd do an Amazing Race? I actually very seriously considered it a few times. Me too. And then I'd go, oh, but then you'd have to do the Amazing Race.

If they said yes, you'd have to fucking do that shit. And it's so exhausting. Yeah, but my thing, because I think what happens is if you get voted off, they put you up in a hotel in a foreign land, and then you get to chill. And they treat you like a king, yeah, or a queen. And you get to chill until the show is done taping. So I would just lose on the fucking first day, and I would take my vacation. I think they vet heavily for that kind of attitude.

I think you'd have to be a really good actor. You'd have to be like a Johnny Fairplay to convince them. Who's Johnny Fairplay? I wish everyone had that sentence on the tip of their tongue. I've interacted with him a few times. He's nice enough to me, but he's like one of the biggest villains ever

in reality television. Bigger than? On Survivor. Oh, what was the dude from MT? Was his name Puck? Yeah. Bigger than Puck, wasn't he? They're about pretty close.

He wasn't even the biggest villain of that season. I'm pretty sure AIDS took the first slot in that season. What I just did is the world's laziest mic drop. The mic drop where you don't have to lean down and pick it up again. I can't believe I just invented that. The fucking lazy mic drop. This year on The Real World, starring AIDS. How are we going to follow up AIDS?

Hold on, I got Lyme disease on the phone. Fibromyalgia is a real bitch. We've got a bitch slap standing by. It's the same person. I know, right? They had to double down on her because Lyme disease and a bitch slap still is not more of a villain than AIDS. Yeah, right.

We can all agree on that. AIDS is one of the worst villains of all time. AFI is number three villain. It's my least favorite movie. I thought you were going to say the biggest villain in reality TV was our president. I'd give you a lazy mic drop, but I'm too lazy to even do that. I know that doesn't beat AIDS.

I can't believe what we're talking about right now. Yeah. Let's move on to Jeff and his. I'm excited to hear about his latest movie because it happened today. I know that. I watched the last hour of Lost in Space. What are the odds? I saw.

Just answer the question. I saw Wonder Woman. And it's fucking great. It's really, really good. I liked it a lot. I don't know what else to say about it. I liked it so much. I'm mad that she is going to be in like the Justice League movie.

Like I was like, I like I went in hoping to enjoy myself, but not enough that I would be like, oh, fuck, I gotta see Justice League. But now I gotta see Justice League. You were gonna see it anyway. Eventually, but now I wanna see it. And that kinda sucks, that I wanna see Justice. I'm a person that wants to see Justice League now. I never thought I'd be a person that wanted to see Justice League,

but now I do, because Wonder Woman was dope. And then it just makes Batman and Superman that much fucking more boring. She's awesome. That Gal Gadot is really, she's a treat. Yeah. Yeah. I saw some idiot writing online, like, you know, some nonsense about how they made it

so she's not sexy. What? I was like, you're out of your fucking mind. Well, thank God, because if she was sexier. I mean, did he want her to just whip her titties out and get Chris Pine to sign them? Like, what was he, What was this guy looking for? Like, she's in a fucking skirt that barely covers her ass

for two and a half hours. Like, it's a sexy outfit. I didn't feel there was enough cleavage. I kept having my jacks stopped halfway through because she would put long pants back on or whatever.

I wasn't hard the whole movie. Some of it was also a movie. I don't think it's a spoiler to say it's kind of fun how she doesn't really go, she doesn't like clothes in the movie. She's happy to wear, she's like, I want to go into battle. Why do I want to wear a bunch of clothes?

It's pretty awesome. I mean, she makes a really good point, ladies. That's right. When you're going out to the clubs at night, you're going into battle. Why do you want to wear a bunch of clothes? I don't want to say too much about it, but... It's a little early.

You don't want to spoil anything. Yeah, I'm not going to spoil anything, but the Wonder Woman origin story is known, right? Like the island and stuff? I guess so, sure. There's an island of women that she grew up on, which I have many questions about. Me too.

Starting with, once you're on an island of women, why do you even invent a lasso of truth? Why do you even need it if you're just a bunch of women living together enjoying your lives? Right? Did they just assume a man was going to show up someday in the sky?

I've said too much. I saw the trailer today. I watched the trailer today because now my new thing is going to be when I remember to do it, watching a trailer because I refused to watch the wonder i didn't see any wonder woman trailers like i didn't watch any of it until the movie was fresh for me but now i went and watched it that fucking trailer shows way too much but i do the same thing with movies that i like but i made i got fucked because i was like all right i'm not gonna watch any trailers, and I did that before Rogue One, and I went in,

and I thought Rogue One was just gonna be number eight. So I was like, for the first. Yeah, I don't know why you think one comes after eight. But, so for the first. One came after six. For the first half of the movie, I kept turning to my brother being like, her accent's different this movie.

And it wasn't until Leia come on, because I was like, the Death Star, are they going to name them all Death Star? I'm like, these fuckers are lazy writers. I could not believe it. I was so mad. And then Leia came on at the end. I go, oh, right, right.

So I got to go back and see that one for sure. They did number them in the wrong order. I'm just saying, I didn't need a three and a half. I just needed, yeah, it got me a little bit. I was a little confused. Yeah, that sounds terrible. So yeah, I was watching a completely

different movie. I'm like, she's aged really weirdly because she looks completely different movie. I'm like, she's aged really weirdly because she looks completely different. But it would be crazier if it wouldn't be the third movie they had a Death Star in. Like they've already named two or three Death Stars already Death Stars. And so if another movie comes out with another Death Star and a lady that looks exactly like that lady,

I could see it. I was also super high. I don't know why you're defending this, Jeff. He's fucking stupid. No, because I watched all of the Sixth Sense knowing that Bruce Willis was dead. And then when I got to the end, he won. Yeah, whatever, guys. I get it.

I get your point. This movie came out a long time ago. I got all the way to, I thought he was dead the whole time. I never thought you weren't supposed to know he was dead. I didn't know. And then at the end, my friend was like, can you believe it?

And I was like, what? Believe what? You still enjoyed it though, right? It's a good movie, yeah. Yeah, it's still interesting. It doesn't have to be about a twist. That's what fucked over M. Night Shyamalan is that he just became the twist guy

just because that had a twist that fooled some of the people. My fucking mother... Jesus. Let me rephrase. Some fucking lady turns to me like ten minutes into the movie and goes, he's dead.

And I'm just like, what? Okay. And then like I was still sort of working it through in my head the whole time and so finally

when it was revealed I was like, oh yeah, you're right mom. But at the same time I still enjoyed it. It still worked. Wait,. And so finally when it was revealed, I was like, oh, yeah, you were right, Mom. But at the same time, I still enjoyed it. It still worked. Wait, what gave it away that he was dead early on in the movie? He got shot by Donnie Walpert.

Wasn't that the first scene? Yeah, but people survive gunshots. Yeah, but the whole movie's about a kid that can see dead people, and then this guy gets shot, and then he's talking to him, and you're like, yeah, he's just one of the dead guys. This guy just keeps hanging around. I thought it was like he saw a bunch of ghosts, and then this guy gets shot and then he's talking to him and you're like yeah he's just one of the dead guys like this guy just keeps hanging around like I thought it was like he saw a bunch of ghosts and then this one like ghost

dad type figure and then like I just never no one else ever ghost dad with Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis you're filibustering about this I'm dying to get my joke in Bruce Willis discovers you know he's dead when he can't bustering about this. I'm dying to get my joke in.

Bruce Willis discovers you know he's dead when he can't get the paper towel thing to work in the bathroom. Yeah, see? It wasn't worth it. It might have been pretty sweet if I said it right in the pocket. I just realized that ghosts

can't see other ghosts in that movie. Oh, shit. That was a strenuous, considerate mic drop. A gentle mic drop is what that was. I used to drop mics all the time until I started my own podcast and I realized these things cost money. What did you guys think of Split?

Are you guys on board? What's happening? Yeah, alright. People like Split? Oh yeah. I still haven't seen it, but now I have to. I was gonna probably anyway because I think James McAvoy is a good actor and so it'd be interesting to see him play all those parts but now that it's tied into

that it's involved in some way in the Unbreakable sequel which Unbreakable to me is the best M. Night Shyamalan movie and so I'm excited to see Sam Jackson, Bruce Willis and the Split guy all in one movie together

spoiler the Split guy doesn in one movie together. Spoiler, the split guy doesn't die in Split, apparently. Or, this other thing's a prequel. I don't know! Oh, fuck. I just saw Split, and I don't know. Like, I can't remember... Wait, you don't know how it ended?

No, I just can't remember if the guy died or not. That would be probably how it ended. I did enjoy the movie. Yeah. All right. I enjoyed it a lot. Jeff, you've been asked this question before. It's going to be out of nowhere from my other two guests.

So I'll give them a chance to think. And you can go first, Jeff, because I think you really have been thinking about this. What's the best movie I've never seen? And if that lady yells out Texas Massacre... I mean, the odds on that... Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. The odds that she yells out whatever you said first are very unlikely.

I couldn't even repeat it. Have you seen Wait Until Dark? Yeah. You're done, that's it. Yeah, I'm done, yeah. All right. You had your one shot. You took it.

You went with the movie where Audrey Hepburn plays a blind woman who is terrorized by some bad guys. And it's a very, very exciting movie. Yeah. I mean, I believed you. I screamed. Yeah, I mean I believed you What was that one call where they reversed it and the bad guy the killer was blind and the girls were stuck in his house And he was stalking them even though he was blind breathe. Don't breathe. Yeah. Yeah That was great until light is that what that one was called wait until daybreak Yeah, that's a wait until dark had one part that scared me so bad

I just packed a bowl and then this thing happened part that scared me so bad I just packed a bowl and then this thing happened and it scared me so bad that I I violently like reacted and threw weed

all over my face and couch and uh and then this is separate this has nothing to do with weed but uh

somehow it came up I was having dinner with my mom and my mom and my mom I just said I saw it my mom goes that was the scariest movie I ever saw so she remembered it 50 years later

that it's the scariest movie she ever saw because yeah yeah people remember stuff I'm just saying that you know that's a good endorsement yeah That's a good endorsement Yeah fucking Alan Arkin right

Yeah Yeah who's great always But like it was You know he's always been Mostly comedic actor So it's He's fucking scary in that movie So scary

And then there's one scene Where he's so fucking funny So it's good Alright so Josh and Justin, you can raise your hand when you're ready to answer the question. I know this is going to shock you, but I don't know if I remember the name of the movie.

But I think... Wait, so... I think it... This movie's great. No, no, no. It's an old movie. I think it's called The Bad Seed. It's about a tiny little girl.

Yeah. She was the first. She kills people. And she burns them in the incinerator. Yeah. And then at the end, they catch her and something. Does she die at the end? Do they kill her at the end? Yeah, she dies at the end.

Yeah. And then. Oh, yeah. No, don't feel bad for her. There's a whole thing out on the pier. Like, you know, Macaulay Culkin and Elijah Wood did a remake, sort of a remake of that called The Good Son. It was sort of the same story but with boys instead of a girl.

But here's the weirdest part of that movie, and I have seen it, so you lose. Please leave the stage. Pack up your knives and go. That movie ends with, it's in black and white and it's old. So, like, for some reason they were worried that people would have, like, leave the theater going, we just watched a movie about a little girl that murders people. Like, maybe the world doesn't need to know that's a possibility.

And don't want to give little girls ideas. So, at the end of the movie, every girls ideas. So at the end of the movie, every character living and dead at the end of the movie still comes out and takes a bow on camera in the end credits. And then the little girl comes out. Kills all of them. And then the mother character... Can I just tell the story?

Because I'm old and I remember this. No, see. They bend the girl over the mother's knee and the mother spanks the girl like bad girl for murdering everybody. It is amazing. It is a reason enough to watch the movie. That's the part where they bring out the rest of the...

Whoa, whoa. You both had a joke and you tried. You both tried. Simultaneous joke-age. Will either joke work now in the clear? No. That's the part that I would jerk off to. Still works Mine wasn't gonna

Mine was never gonna work Alright so Justin's got one Okay here we go Tyler Perry's No You can't start with those two words and then say I might have missed it

because I've seen some of it. It is not for me. All right. Wait, Madea goes to jail? What? Madea goes to jail? Yeah, I mean, that one sounds a little bit more fun. It's not. Than Madea's Christmas. Yeah, I mean, that one sounds a little bit more fun.

It's not. Than Madea's Christmas. There's just so much heavy-handed drama. Just make a comedy. Oh, they throw in a lot of drama in those? Well, also, Tyler Perry, his movies that don't have Madea in them, I'm just like, I don't get it. It's a kind of melodrama that I don't understand.

I can't appreciate. Those movies are all Tyler Perry trying to prove to you guys that he's a man and that he's great. Oh, really? That's what those movies are. That's the best way to do it. Throw on a dress and be like, hey, world, I'm straight. I'm so straight I've got

this dress on for movie after movie. Have you ever seen Arma Brandon? I was so ready to say Jeff, the answer period is closed. Thank goodness it was just a joke.

For the listeners, Jeff is crying today. That's how much he enjoys himself. Like, if he walked out of here right now, someone outside would be like, what's wrong? I just had a lot of fun. It's, I mean, some of it's sweat. I mean, some of it's sweat.

I'm not going to say all of it is. I'm not going to lie, try to be macho in front of y'all. Y'all. See, I saw it on the water tower. All right, you guys. Let's ask Bert to turn the show off so that I can say, let the games begin. Lots of great name tags to choose from. Someone's got booze on his name tag. Go pick your name tags, guys.

We'll be right back. Today's episode is brought to you in part by our friends over at loot crate on a quest for epic gear housewares and collectibles loot crate has an epic range of pop culture items for less than 20 a month you guys already know all about loot crate they've been a longtime sponsor of Loves Movies and have been incredibly generous with our listeners. If you haven't already, it's never too late

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All right, we're back. You guys all went big. You chose big ones. We got lots of big ones here. Jeff, can you even begin to describe what's going on in your name tag? No, but I love it. It's a drawing. It's hand-drawn.

It appears that they are aware of the name tag portion of the show but not the movie title tie-in portion of the name tag portion of the show but still it doug loves high highlights um i don't know there's hidden stuff there's a pizza right there yeah i like that's what it is it's like a. There's lots of good weed jokes in there. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. No, I'm getting it.

The more I look at it, the more I get it, the more I'm glad I picked it. You know, they probably like went to buy tickets and I think it says something like, hey, come bring a name tag and win some prizes. And they were like, we're just stoners who want to see some comedy. You have already signed it. And then they made that thing. I didn't realize how ridiculous it was the first time I saw it. I mean, you're going to be able

to color that in later. Oh, I'm not going to do that. But yeah, that's right. I signed it, so I have seen that before. But also don't remember it. That's how good the weed is here, you guys.

Well, sometimes... Sometimes people don't remember things, Doug. That's true. Oh, he's just giving his bottle of Tito's even though you didn't pick his name tag. Throw it in the audience. Don't all grab it at once. Let's throw it into the crowd.

No, I'd go grab it, but I'm doing a thing here. You don't even drink, Jeff. I'm just going to pick it up Wouldn't that be horrible if you just picked it up and started drinking it? Yeah, this is how I start Yeah That would be amazing Not to get a cheap round of applause for you

But how long have you been not drinking? It'll be, it's I quit in September of 15, 2015 So it's been almost two years Oh guys He's not drug free 2015. So it's been almost two years. Oh, guys. He's not drug-free.

You know what I mean? Get off his back. Alcohol. Everyone's like, that's nice, but he's so clean. Alcohol is just so much worse. Oh, absolutely. Who are you playing for? Tampa Titty. What kind of name tag does she got there, though? Describe it.

Shannon's Private Ryan. And we got a little bit of everybody on there. There you go. Yeah, she covered all the faces of Vin Diesel and all those guys. Yeah. Nice. All right. Big Sean Jordan on there.

Yeah, I felt like she drove nine and a half hours. We should give Tampa Titty a little do. Here we go. He's not going to win, but it's a nice gesture. That's true. That's really true. That's true. What if I devise a series of games that are good for dumb people?

Yeah. You know, we tried that. Remember, we just gave me Scott Wolf questions, and I fucking couldn't answer them. Yeah, his own cousin, he couldn't answer them. Yeah, your own his own cousin, he couldn't win playing Scott Wolfe in Last Man Standing because he couldn't remember the four movies

his cousin has been in. I got stumped after Double Dragon and Go and I was like, I don't fucking know anything. Yeah, it's like White Squall never happened. Domino. Was he in Domino? I don't know.

I probably know the names of 20% of my cousins. If you were devising games to make me lose, if you just ask me questions about my cousins, I'd fucking lose. I have a bunch. All right, so here's what's going to happen today. All right, so I've got a name tag.

Oh, sorry, I was ready to move on to the games. I kind of forgot I was holding it, to be honest. This part's taking so long. Okay, what do you got? We're the Caroline Millers. You're comfortable just sharing your first and last name like that? That's nice. Yeah, and they got Josh and you.

They've got Jacob on there, but Jacob was here the last time, and Jeff is with us now. And this is you right here? Yeah. No, her. Oh, yeah. It's your name tag? That's your face?

All right. All right. Good job. Good job. Good job, Caroline. Well, thanks. I guess I felt obligated. Put that on the ground. Should we turn the lights off?

Do you want to save the battery? Whatever you want to do. They flash, too. Oh. Oh, shit. All right. I mean, if the women on the poster flashed, I would be into that.

There you go. Oh, no. Totally worth the time. Yeah, that'll save some battery life. It's the doormat at the Miller's house. That's blinking lights. Alright. The first game we're gonna play today, and you know

what? I say fuck it. Let's give Josh a fighting chance. Josh, you get to go first in this first game. Then Justin. Then Jeff. This is seated? Is that how they say it? Like I'm going in order

of excellence based on previous appearances. Here we go. Got it. The game is whose tagline is it anyway? And Josh, you have to tell me what movie. This is just for Josh.

No one else in this room gets to answer. We'll see if he can. What movie had the tagline, you'll believe a man can fly? He's already shaking his head. Apollo 13. Is that a movie? Okay.

Because you laughed. I'm like, maybe that's not a movie? Okay. Because you laughed. I'm like, maybe that's not a movie. Maybe that's not a movie. Maybe that's not a movie. At least you didn't say Challenger. Yeah. Those are great men and women, by the way. All right, Justin.

So that was wrong? Yeah, incorrect. Justin. Okay, oh yeah. Hit me. What? You'll believe a man can fly. Oh, Sully. Sully.

Oh, Sully. This is one of the top three most known taglines in the history of cinema. Jeff, take it home. Get the point. Is it Superman? It's Superman. I thought it was too obvious. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water,

in space no one can hear you scream, and you'll believe a man can fly. Those are the three. Those are the godfathers. I know one out of those three. Of taglines. Which one? What was the first one you said?

Alien was in there there and Jaws. Oh, I know those two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. All right. I mean, they've been parodied repeatedly over the years, so it's fun that you never knew what was being parodied. I've actually never heard that saying before in my life. You'll believe a man can fly?

No. Well, I've said that when my brother used to put me in a laundry basket at the top of the stairs. And say that? You believe a man can fly. Well, he was quoting the tagline from Superman. He was very funny. You got it.

All right, here we go, Josh. You get to go first this time. Good. It's back to you. Jeff has one point in this game. Josh, what movie has a tagline, The Man of Steel meets his match? of Steel meets his match. Well, you've narrowed it down for me.

What's your guess? Superman 2? That's correct! Alright, Justin goes first on this one this is superman's greatest battle don't forget to use the full title. Superman 3? Oh, no, I'm sorry. Superman? It's Superman 4, the quest for peace. I should have given everybody else a chance

but it was too funny to just say it okay Jeff you go first on this next one this is going to be the best time of all terrible terrible tagline This is gonna be the best time of all Like somebody got paid money to come up with that

This is gonna be the best time of all Oh my god What do you got? Spill it Off to this Christmas party. There you go. I was going to say, say the name of any movie, and you, in fact, did that. Josh, this time is going to be the best time of all.

I don't know. Schindler's List? I don't fucking know. Schindler's back, and he's taking names. I don't fucking know. He works the door at a fancy nightclub now. It's all about that super VIP section. Justin, this is going to be the best

time of them all. The best time of all. Hot tub time machine two. Full throttle. I feel bad for you, Justin. Your timing was just a little bit off. It's Superman 3. That's funny. Thanks for having me Oh you're welcome

Alright so Jeff You get to go first On this tiebreaker You and Who else got a point Me Josh got a point Maybe I should go first

No Jeff gets to go first But then you get to go too If Jeff doesn't get it Okay Jeff what movie Has the tagline Look up in the sky? That's Sully.

Was really counting on you to know the answer to that one, Jeff. What do you got, Josh? Gotta settle this tie. Superman 5. Was there a Superman 5? What would you... Don't help, audience.

What's an alternate title... Cinco. ...to what would be... Superman Seiko the quest for K-Soul no let's say say you've done four and the... Returns. What? Superman Returns.

That's correct. I don't think I've ever gotten two questions right in the same game. I don't know that you still have. Really? Really good point. Jacob, if Jacob were here, he'd be forming an oversight committee to determine the fairness. Oh, my God.

You know, my guests never listen to the podcast, which is fine. It doesn't upset me or anything, but I think in a future episode, I'm just going to run that exact same game because I think it'll go the same way every time. You could run it again with me on the panel. I don't think I'd do any better.

I just love that of all those Superman movies, only one has a colon and then something after it. So it's just so simplistic, but then it's still hard to know which one I'm talking about. You know, because another tagline for Superman 3 was third time's the charm. I'm not going to read that one. That's not true, but you know what I mean?

Some of them are more descriptive. Like, this time he's going to fly around with Richard Pryor in his arms. Third time's the charm would be great if that was the beginning of the game. Like, if you just go, the tagline is third time's the charm. Then we're all fucked. It's any third movie.

Yeah, I'd probably go Godfather on that. They finally got it right. The third one's the real winner. Forget about one and two. This shit is it. Alright, you guys. To determine our winner tonight, another game that I

feel Josh has a fighting chance at. He gets to go first in the... I don't know what that lady's laughing at you for. Did you bring your wife? What? My wife? She can't just say it. Somebody else has to say it first.

All right. This is a game called Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game. And I'll talk you through it, Josh. Okay. You get to go first this first round. But then we'll rotate who gets to go first. So then Jeff and then Justin and then back to Josh. Josh, I'm going to name an actor or actress.

And you're going to name a movie you think is in their top three at the box office domestically of all time, but adjusted for inflation. According to box office mojo. So basically, I know you look scared, but it's not that hard. I'll name an actor and just come up with a movie they were in that you think was popular. Yep. That's what I took away, actually, from everything you said. You know what the worst movie is of all

time, so that's never going to be the answer. Alright? And then we give the other two guys a chance to name other movies and then I give out points based on how high the movie's ranked. You know, the way you explained that to me

was the way I explained to my three-year-old son why he shouldn't have put his finger in his butt and then in his mouth. In the same tone. I'm gonna tell you something. No. They're both things that you want the person

to understand the first time. Yes. You don't need to leave any gray areas. Right. Oh, we have fun. The first person on this game tonight is... Oh, shit. Almost knocked my drink over.

That'd be the worst. Gal Gadot. Can you use that in a sentence? What is Gal Gadot's highest grossing movie? My sentence would be... Here's the sentence. Who is Gal Gadot?

No, my sentence is Gal Gadot is in a movie that we talked about on this show that came out yesterday that cannot be in her top three yet because it just opened. Got it. Called Wonder Woman.

Got it. So she was in another... I don't know if you're shushing us, but I appreciate shushing in general. You know what? I don't think there you're shushing us, but I appreciate shushing in general. I don't think there's enough shushing. I was at Wonder Woman yesterday and people brought fucking infants that were crying throughout the movie. I'm like, why aren't people sitting close to those infants shushing them? You know, infants need to be shushed.

No, they were like toddlers and stuff. They could take them out or tell them to be quiet. Like, it was weird to hear constant child noise during a violent war movie. Yeah, no, as somebody who has kids... It's PG-13. Settle down, you guys. But also, take the kids to the movies that are...

Like, they have showings at the Grove for 12 o'clock for parents who want to see PG-13 movies. So the whole theater is parents and kids. But you're fucking people over if you bring your kid to a 5 or 7 o'clock movie. They don't get that at the movie studio grill in the epicenter. You're fucking yourself.

That place is a fucking restaurant that happens to be showing a movie. And they don't and the staff doesn't seem too fond of it. They seem like they're annoyed there's a movie in the way. And they all walk around completely upright like they're not blocking the screen.

There was a lady that had her fucking full on lit up iPad and it was facing out so it's like flashing. She's just swinging it and it's flashing. There was a lady that had her fucking full-on lit-up iPad, and it was facing out, so it's like flashing. She's just swinging it, and it's flashing. Everybody is now watching her. Yeah, watching her move through the room instead of the movie. It's so weird.

Batman versus Superman. Full title? Yeah. Batman versus Superman. This crowd will not yield to the likes of you. Batman versus Superman. This crowd will not yield. Ready? Batman versus Superman. To the likes of you.

Batman versus Superman. This time it's real. This is going to be the best time yet. Full title? Batman versus Superman. Duh. Delicious. Dawn of Justice Did you tell him Jeff

Yeah I want to be Freddie Prinze Jr That's how cocky That's how cocky You are for the win You still want to win. Yeah.

No, I know the first one. Oh, okay. Settle down. I know one that made more than that one. All right. Wow. All right. So he's helping you out, but we'll see how much he's helping you out. I don't know if she's in another movie.

Yeah. We'll find out. All right. Justin. Oh, no. Sorry. Sorry. Jeff's next.

I apologize. Oh, sweet. I'm next? Yeah. Furious 6. Okay. Jeff's next. I apologize. Oh, sweet. I'm next? Yeah. Furious 6. Okay. He's going Furious 6. Now, Justin, I've got to remind you before you answer that we need the correct title.

What do you got? All right. Word for word. Don't have to say colon out loud, though. If you don't want to. And I'm not saying there is a colon in any of these. There's a little colon in all of us. Furious 7?

Okay. Let's break this down. Coming in at number three, Fast Five. My favorite title of all the, of that franchise. Simple, it's clean. Sounds like a handjob. Like it's on a punch card. You got your fast five.

Five figures, five minutes. That's all I need. Fifth one's free. Coming in at number two. Sorry, Jeff Tate. It's called Fast and Furious 6. Damn. Yeah, right?

Because domestic. You said something else. You just said Furious 6. Because 7 is just furious, but that doesn't matter right now. Coming in at number one and giving one of my guests a three-point lead is Batman versus Superman, Dawn of Justice. a three-point lead, is Batman versus Superman, Dawn of Justice.

You guys are giving him way too much credit for how much that was spoon-fed to him. Well, I mean, I still get to meet Freddie Prinze Jr. All right, Jeff gets to go first this next round. The films of Mr. Ben Affleck. Affleck. Affleck. What do you think is in his top three, Jeff?

Batman versus Superman, Dawn of Justice. Interesting guess by an interesting guesser. Justin. of justice. Interesting guess by an interesting guesser. Justin! Was it Arm-ben-geddon? Say it right. Armageddon. Okay, he's going Armageddon. I think that's what I would have done. What do you got, Josh? Many films Ben Affleck's been in.

Can you think of another? It's probably not Gigli. That's right. Give us your process. Narrow it down. Well, I only know one other movie he was in. Hey, wait a second. Wait a second. What are we playing for?

I never even asked you guys what you brought for the prize bag It's funny I actually have a Ben Affleck box set Alright, whip it out and look at it Well, I mean Seriously, tell me what you guys have for the prize bag I can't believe we missed that part. We gotta do that now, and if we do it at the end, people just turn the show off.

You wanna go ahead? I know how to keep people listening. Yeah, yeah, I got two shirts. One says, decency or death, it's a large. And the other one says, hot dogs and Gatorade, it's a small. So, unlikely to be warned by someone who loves hot dogs and Gatorade. Yeah, why do you think I still have a bunch of Smalls left?

Can I have the bag, too? I don't have a bag. I gave my bag to Josh. Okay. Put it in Josh's bag, then. Yeah, let me put it in my bag. All right. Someone's leaving here with several bags.

So, I was rummaging around my hotel room, and I have some wonderful shampoo, conditioner, and hand lotion for your fast five. Can I get that? You know what? Hang on a second, Josh. May I have another Tito's and soda? Do you guys need anything? Can I do another one of these?

And I take a bottle of water. Another Yingling for my friend. Bottle of water for Josh Yingling for my friend. Bottle of water for Josh? There's like 10 minutes left in the show. No, never mind. Yeah. But I need to drink.

Good point. People, I know a lot of people have read the Bible. I don't know who's read the Book of Mormon before, though. So there you go. Got to get this one here. You stole that from your hotel room? Yeah. Uh-huh. And that's what I did. And then

I went to Whole Foods yesterday and I got food for my room and I had one sweet potato left. So there's also a sweet potato. Delicious, guys. They're really delicious. So here you go. Oh, man. I want to put some sticks in it and put it on top of a jar. Make it a project. Here, pass the whole thing

down here. Oddly enough, the sweet potato didn't come from the Whole Foods bag that I brought. I, you know, I grabbed a handful of movies before I left my apartment this morning. And then I also grabbed a fucking puzzle. So I hope you guys like jigsaws. It's a bunch of zebras.

It's hard as hell. I tried. I didn't get very far. That's not the noise a zebra makes. Wow, the excitement that a hard puzzle can bring to people. So whoever wins, you have to, I don't know, take a picture or it's the same picture on the box.

You don't even really have to solve the puzzle. Here, hold that. Yeah, they should not let you see what it's going to look like when you're finished. That would be a tough puzzle. I don't... Should I open up the poster? What's the poster? Yeah, just tell us about it.

It's Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. Okay. So enjoy that. And I'm not going to read all the fucking movie titles, but there's a novelization of Rosemary's Baby. Good stuff. We got a bunch of stickers from Baywatch, so you get a whole roll of Baywatch.

I'm going to hang on to that. I asked my friends, like a movie buff dude, I'm like, hey man, you got anything that you're looking to get rid of? And he just gave me like 20 movies. I think it would be funny to go somewhere, like a place of business or something,

and take these Baywatch stickers and just stretch them out and tape them up like a police line. But it's just all Baywatch stickers with fucking The Rock sitting there all. Like if someone at Swim Chunks gets murdered. Did anybody see the new Baywatch? You did?

I saw it. Yeah? I thought The Rock's character was a dick to Zac Efron the whole time. The whole time, yeah. It wasn't ever for any purpose. He was just a dick. Just some weird hazing thing.

I didn't like it. Is there a Hasselhoff cameo? Oh yeah, there is. Oh yeah, I'll see it. That is the only flaw in that movie. Other than that, it is perfect. It is Godfather 2 level perfect. Yeah, I especially love the subtitles.

There were some, I think. I don't remember. There's like a drug cartel or something. Anyway, Justin. All right, we'll look at one of the movies. Oh, Alyssa Milano in Embrace of the Vampire. Oh, okay. So how many of those do you have in there?

They're all VHS? Mostly DVDs. We got another VHS. The Cat from Outer Space. Oh, that's a classic. Okay. Okay. I brought this one. Ocean's Eleven. Classic.

But again, that'll be a surprise bag. Alright, yeah. A bunch of fun stuff in there. Good job. Thank you. Josh, I gave you some time, buddy. I'm just going to say Good Will Hunting because I think it's Armageddon. Good Will Hunting.

Okay. People don't want me to forget to throw donuts. Is that blocking anybody's view? Maybe we'll do it at the very end if there's time. We're under a lot of pressure right now. The headliner that's

performing here tonight, if this show goes long, he will fly into a rage. It's a very angry individual. Alright, so did you all three guess? Yeah. Okay. Coming in number three for Mr. Ben Affleck, Suicide Squad.

Oh. Yeah, because of course Bruce Wayne is in that. Underrated movie, I've got to be honest with you. Wow, I wish we had the time yeah you you're only proving me right I wish we could get into arguing about Suicide Squad an hour after I mean an hour a year after its release all right uh number two though Batman v Superman Dawn of Justice, so that's two points for Jeff. Oh, man. Number one, Rudy. Number one for Mr. Ben Affleck is Marmageddon.

Oh! Damn! Who said Armageddon? Justin? Yeah, all right. So you get three points. All right, this one, you got a tie, 3-3, and Jeff's got two.

So our man with the plan is the underdog. He gets to go first this time, though, right? Oh, no, Justin gets to go first. Yeah, Justin goes first. All right. The films of Vin Diesel. This is a tough one. Yeah. Okay. This is a tough one. Yeah.

Okay. This is tough. People are muttering. People have thoughts. It's not the Iron Giant, but we all wish it was. Yeah, we wish. It's going to be... You know I'm lying.

All right, all right, okay. Calm down. Let me think. It's going to be... Is that why libraries are quiet? Because Justin has to think. Fast five. You're going fast five.

Okay. What do you got there, Jeff? Furious 7. Okay. Mr. Josh Wolf. You know what it's going to be? Because it's domestic. I just can't remember the name.

It's that one where he goes undercover and protects that family at the house. I'm telling you. It's not the pacifier. Yes, it is. It's not. Yes, it is the pacifier. I'm looking at it.

Oh, it's not the pacifier. It's the damn inflation. It's so confusing. Wait, so we got Fast Five. What'd you say? Furious 7, correctly. You got it right. Vin Diesel, Josh.

Yeah. You can do it. Yep. Well, it's not the pacifier. Fuck. I loved your confidence on that. Yeah, because I thought it was a kid's movie, and a lot of people go see a kid, but I...

Tooth Fairy was the rock. Yeah. Yep. Those two guys would have a fist fight over what you just yelled. This is North Carolina, Doug. She was talking about the cable guy one. It didn't have to happen. You're the one that yelled out.

I'm going to say the first Fast and Furious. Goddamn, I fucking remember the answer. Fast and Furious. So Josh and Justin are tied with three apiece, and Jeff has two. And coming in at number one for Vin Diesel, which would force the win for any one of you, is, of course, Saving Private Ryan.

Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah. And then number two is another pretty big movie. Yeah, your name tag was right there. Son of a bitch. It was right there at your feet. Motherfucker. It was right there all along, Doug.

You were dead the whole time. All right, seriously, we got to get out of here. All right, so at number two, another big Vin Diesel movie that you guys overlooked for some reason, Guardians of the Galaxy. I am good, I am good. And coming in at number three, which forces

a three-way tie. Furious seven. Jeff gets one point. We gotta go to a tiebreaker. Wow. It's tiebreaker time. And in this case the name I've written down

several of their movies in order after being adjusted for box for inflation and whoever gets the one highest up on the list will be our winner

because you will therefore theoretically get more points. I think it makes sense. So we're back to Josh starting us off and then we're going to Jeff and then Justin. Josh,

go for number one if you can. Yeah. No, I get that part. I get that part. So you're saying I should try to guess for the one if you can. Yeah. No, I get that part. I get that part. So you're saying I should try to guess for the one that's the highest on the list. Tom Hanks. The star of Apollo 13.

Oh, he was, yeah. I am gonna, because it's right here, I'm gonna... I mean, this is like tempting. It's taunting me. I'll say, yeah, I'll say Saving Private Ryan. All right. Jeff?

Yeah, we got to go. Good job. Tom Hanks' number one movie is Toy Story 3. Oh, good one. Good one. Good one. Good one. Good one. Good one. All right, Justin.

Shh. Forrest Gump. That's what I was... Yeah, yeah. You got two, right? Yeah, I think so. Coming in at number seven, Apollo 13. Coming in at number four,

Saving Private Ryan. Motherfucker. Number three, Toy Story 2. Number two, Toy Story 3. Number two, Toy Story 3. And number one for the win, it's Forrest Gump! Forrest Gump!

Caroline Miller, come get all your prizes. Congratulations. If you have a friend that can help you, there's several bags. He refuses to help. There you go. Take that one, and then this guy could take the other two.

There's something where? Behind me? Oh, yeah, a pipe. Do you want this other rubber pipe? There's a little one. She's good on those? All right, I'll hang on to that. What do you got to plug, Justin,

our winner today? I don't know. I'm thinking about driving for Uber. No, I... I guess I got some shows coming up. You know, I'm thinking about driving for Uber. I guess I got some shows coming up. I'm going to be in Columbia, South Carolina next week. Yeah, that's a thing.

I'll be in Greenville I think the week after that. I have a show here in Charlotte tomorrow night. Oh, alright. I'll be at Petra's tomorrow night. That's at 8 o'clock. Where can people see all your stuff? You know, I have a website, justinthompson.me.

I have a Twitter account, justintwe. I have a show coming up in Atlanta, a drop-up video at the Relapse Theater, July 15th. That'll be fun. You know, we'll have stand-up comedians, live commentary, music videos on a projector. You get it. Love it. Thank you, Justin.

Yeah, thank you. Thanks for having me back. Josh Wolfe. Well, I'm here tonight. If anybody wants to stick around. Two shows tonight. People are knocking their tumblers over. In excitement, anticipation.

That was somebody who wanted to get out here so quickly when I started talking. I understand why the glasses here are plastic now. People are just fucking throwing them everywhere. Yeah, two shows tonight. I also have a podcast that I do with Freddie Prinze Jr. called Prince and the Wolf, which is a whole lot of fun. I love you guys who listen to it.

There's the name tag right there. And next week I'm in Jacksonville, Florida at the Comedy Zone. Then I take a month and a half off, and I'm in Dallas at the last weekend of July. But Comedian Josh Wolfe for tour dates at Josh Wolfe Comedy online if you want to follow me. Right on, Josh Wolfe. And Caroline, do you want your name tag thingy back? Take that back.

So lots of fun things for you to carry. I got to have that one. And yours too, Jeff. Tell us your story, Jeff. What of fun things for you to carry. I got to have that one. And yours too, Jeff. Tell us your story, Jeff. What's coming up for you? June 14th, Flag Day. I'm at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey. Thank you for the reminder.

Flag Day always just whiffs past me. I never get a chance to stop. And enjoy it. Think about it. Enjoy it. Your name tag doesn't have a shithead on the back, Jeff. I know. Why did you guys write a shithead on the back of this thing?

Cal and Amanda? Forgot. I know what to say on your behalf. Oh, my God. What is this one? Holy shit. That was a long shithead, so it's a good thing you didn't have one, Cal and Amanda.

What else, Jeff Tate? June 29th through July 2nd, I'm at Go Bananas in Cincinnati, Ohio. June 13th and 14th, the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Yeah! Comedy Showcase in Ann Arbor, Michigan. And, uh... Will you hand me one?

And, uh, hey, hold on, hold on, hold on with the... I have a couple of CDs after the show you can buy. I got four left. And not enough money to get home so go ahead and do that. I'm on Twitter at JeffTay96. Bind it! Bind it!

Oh, there's a bullseye in back. I don't understand why people... Why are... Hey, stop throwing donuts. They don't get it in Charlotte. They're supposed to just catch them in their fucking mouths or whatever, not throw them back at me.

Have you seen me throw a donut? I can imagine people... Then tit your own tit, fuckface. You don't tit for tat when I haven't thrown a fucking thing at you, fuckface. But you're the one that said tit for tat. You said tit for tit? I can just imagine a lot of people sitting at home

listening to this show going, if somebody throws a donut at me, I'm going to throw it back at them. Sorry that happened to you, Jeff. I got one plug I got to get in. We got to get out of here. I'm going to be at Laugh Boston on Father's Day June 18th so there's still some tickets

for that one because I guess in Boston people respect their fathers well they're gonna be all tired out from Flag Day that's an excellent point I wish I had one more donut, Jeff, for you to throw at that guy. But I ran out

because I was just getting rid of him. Oh, shit! Do not throw that bottle of Tito's. That's my future in your hands. I love that it's been like a hundred years of people pretending to throw stuff they would never throw and it still works

like audiences are still like oh no oh you were kidding again you learn that that's day one in clown college alright so it's right after initiation one more time for all of my guests

Jeff Tate, Josh Wolfe Justin Thompson And There's like a smashed donut Right in front of Jeff's seat There's one right there for him to throw. As always, some friend or associate of Cal and Amanda is a shithead. And the guy who won't let me in the turning lane because he's in too much of a hurry to get home and face the day at...

What? What does this say? Whose name tag is this? It's mine. What does it say? It says the guy who's too busy and he has to turn like he's gonna go home and cut up his wife. Cut up his wife?

He's in a hurry to get home to cut on his wife? To beat up his wife? That's why he cuts you off in traffic? To get home and beat his wife? What kind of shirt is he wearing? P.S. We have weed for you and she even included her phone number.

Play that music! Thanks again to Loot Crate for sponsoring today's show. On a quest for epic gear, housewares, and collectibles, Loot Crate for sponsoring today's show. On a quest for epic gear, housewares, and collectibles? Loot Crate has what you're looking for. I always stumble on collectibles. June's Loot Crate theme is Alter Ego. It features items from Spider-Man, Transformers, The Hulk, and DC Comics. One lucky subscriber will also win a mega crane of epic proportions.

Be sure to subscribe by 9pm on the 19th to get this month's crate go to loot crate.com slash doug and enter the code doug to save three dollars on any new subscription now it's time for d Doug to watch another talkie Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies