Doug Loves Movies - Geoff Tate, "Mark Wahlberg," and Graham Elwood Guest

Episode Date: May 5, 2014

Live from Zanies in Rosemont, IL, Doug welcomes comedians Geoff Tate and Graham Elwood to the show, along with fan-favorite "Mark Wahlberg."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, everybody. Is this microphone even on? I don't think it is. If I had to guess between is it on or isn't it on, it's getting a little hotter,

but it still sort of feels like everyone's just having to hear me through the strength of my own voice. Little more... Okay, I think that seems about right. You know, I never go to Soundcheck. How can you go to Soundcheck when there's a Toby Keith's I love this fucking... There's a Toby Keith's I blew this fucking place

and gave it a dollar. That's a weird name for a restaurant chain. I blew this fucking place and gave it a dollar but sometimes when you blow somebody you're just like i feel like giving them a little tip for their trouble it's a pretty good way to open the show talking about blowing people how many dudes here didn't okay so Just a friend, just for fun. How many? Here we go.

My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Bob's Movies! All right, that was good if you just wanted to be shouted at. That was fucking intense. That's what it sounded like. That's what you guys sounded like. That's a spot-on impression of you guys, because we're coming from to you once again.

Like, I should not be high when I write the notes for this show. Like, when I write them at 4.30, I always... We're coming to you once again from the next-door neighbor of Toby Keith's. Why don't You Blow Me. It's Zany's Comedy Club in Rosemont, Illinois on Monday, May 5th, Cinco de

Haya! Oh! 2014 Wolf of Wall Street my dust. Let me see your name tags, Rosemont. I know you guys... Oh, shit.

I knew you'd have a lot of good ones. And I'm excited that a lot of them are in the front row. There's a Cinco de Haya survival kit. I'm afraid of what's in there. Is there weed in there? Hey, shrugs. You just don't know.

I saw the panda shirt with the guns on the Internet today, right? Yeah, I did. Carlita's way? All right, lady. Annie Condra? Conda? Annie Conda. Sorry.

She got all mad at me. It's Conda, not Condra. But that's a good one. That's a nice one. This is a guy that changed Noah to Joah. Because your name is Joe? All right. There's a Bane on there and me and Mark Wahlberg.

That's crazy. Just in time, of course. Justin, that's a good one for you. Jurassic Pat, that's fun. That's a big sign. I feel like I. That's fun. That's a big sign. I feel like I'm at Universal Studios. I'm about to go on the ride. What does Bozina mean?

Your name is Bozina? And you just put it on a Zina picture? You know Zina's a TV program. That doesn't exist anymore, but that's cool. What's that, Daredevil? Dara Devil? All right, Dara. I can only assume.

No, my name's Devil. Love actual alley. Very good. And instead of the Lego movie, the Crago movie. Is that Leonard Maltin's face I see on there? All right. You know, fuck Pearl Vision. My eyes are all right.

I need glasses so bad. All right, you guys. Great job on all the name tags. Those were just the people in the front row. So there's lots of good ones. But also I heard you guys lined up like hours before the show tonight to get in the front row so I hope you get picked I hope the comedians and actors that I brought in tonight

don't fuck you over someone in the audience just whispered George Lucas yeah maybe he'll be on. Maybe he's in Rosemont. He saw this mall and he wanted to do a special edition of it. This mall doesn't have enough Jabba the Hutt. Philadelphia! Not you guys.

You're in Rosemont. I'm doing stand-up at a club in Philadelphia called Helium this Thursday night at 10pm. I'd also like to say from the corrections department that the guy who brought the Nicholas Cage pillow to the Douglas Movies taping at Comedy

on State in Madison, Wisconsin was not actually named Nick. Yeah, congrats guy who said lied. I'm not even going to say your real name, Eric.

Lincoln, Nebraska. I'm doing even going to say your real name, Eric. Lincoln, Nebraska. I'm doing Nebraska. Nebraska. It's a beverage. It's like Shasta. I'm doing stand-up at the Bourbon Theater, speaking of beverages, on Monday, May 12th. And I hope they have vodka at the Bourbon Theater.

They have it here at Zany's in Rosemont. Vodka. That's right. All seven vodka companies, even Kamchatka, are sponsoring this episode. That's a lie. I think that covers it. Oh, Las Vegas. I'm taping at Douglas Movies

at the Backstage Bar and Billiards on Thursday, May 15th. I hope there's billiard sounds in the background. It'll be like The Color of Money, the podcast. This prize bag, you guys guys tonight includes from a fellow who calls himself ryan loves reefer on twitter he gave me this and he's like keep it give it away do whatever

you want with it and because what it is is it's a street sign that says 420 Doug Street. Yeah. And I've had this in my travel bag for a few weeks now. And everywhere I go, my weed is missing when I get there. Because this is probably a big warning sign that there is weed in my bag. No, I have been traveling with it for a while, and I can't even tell you where the guy was from. But if you go to Ryan Loves Reefer,

you'll find out who made this sign. And one of you guys gets to... It's Cinco de Mayo, so I'm sure you're probably going out for a drink after the show. So one of you gets to walk around holding this big piece of crap that I'm calling a prize. Also in the prize bag, so much goodness. piece of crap that I'm calling a prize. Also in the prize bag, so much goodness. I want to get the guests out here

and sort of talk about what's in the bag while they're out here because you guys aren't going to believe the people that I've talked into coming to Rosemont. I was like, do you have a flight landing at O'Hare at around 5 or 6 p.m. on Cinco de Mayo?

And then you don't have to fly out until the next day or later that night. And these three gentlemen said yes. Please welcome Graham Elwood, Jeff Tate, and Mark Wahlberg. Take control, Rosemont. Take control of your mall city. Can you guys believe it? Chef Tate is here! Yay! Hello! Jeff, buddy, what did you bring for the prize bag?

I have... I brought some books. Oh, all right. Just go ahead and hang on to those. This isn't Doug Loves Books. Over the Top. Oh, I'd read that. A novelization based on the screenplay, Over the Top.

Gone in 60 Seconds. Because I've read Gone in 60 Seconds and you guys do not know how intense a car race can be until you read it. And it's also funny because they don't go, you don't read it and it goes, Memphis Reigns, he looked like Nicolas Cage. They describe him like he's like

what kind of person he is. They should just be like look at the cover. It's Nicolas Cage. Johnny's friends had encircled him. That's my favorite scene. That's just good writing right there.

Memphis complained, this isn't exactly a fair fight. I think Memphis is Nicolas Cage. So I nailed it. Absolutely. I thought Memphis is Nicolas Cage. So I nailed it. I thought you were doing Christian Bale's Batman. I thought that's what you were doing.

This isn't a fair fight. This fight is far from fair. I have one more book as well. I have Jack Reacher Never Go Back. They're making a second Jack Reacher and this is the book it's made.

Yes! Finally, another Jack Reacher book, movie, whatever, made for TV. Yeah, you're goddamn right. Finally, Jack Reacher, Never Go Back. Check your theaters in two years, but one of you will be way ahead of the game. You will know all the parts of the story that they cut out for the film,

because this book is way too thick for a two-hour movie. Speaking of things that are thick, Grandma, what is here? Hello. Hello. All from Rosemont. He's got a thick Italian accent. Hello, I'm Italian, I am. They like me to bocce ball.

What did you bring for the prize bag? A Whistling Banes concert shirt. Of course you did. With all of the tour dates on the back, you guys. Kazakhstan, the Rose Bowl. It's going to be fucking rad, you guys. That tour hasn't happened yet? He says the same two examples on every show.

There's a bunch of names on here. Those are the two you memorized, or those are the funniest two? Well, there's Wembley Stadium, Doug. Of course. Wembley Stadium is a... You're going to feed Africa with that show. Right? Sure.

Looks like we're making that a charity event, guys. O'Brien's Pub in Santa Monica. So that's going to be a good gig. That's tight space. It is. It is. They're going to just do some new stuff. Work it out. You know what I mean? Acoustic set, I think. Acoustic set, I think.

Acoustic whistling. Do you want to do some plugs? Sure, yeah. You're goddamn right. Yeah, if you're in Chicago, we're going to be on the road with earbuds, and we're going to be doing interviews. If any of you guys want to be on camera for earbuds, Saturday, May 24th at the Downtown Zanies from noon to 4,

come by, tell your podcast story on camera, and we'll cut it out of the film. No, check that out. And then also I'm headlining the Comedy Attic in Bloomington June 12 through 14. And we're going to be doing fan interviews there for anyone listening who's down there. June 14th for earbuds. So check that out. And it's all available at grandmillwood.com.

People love your plugs. They do. They're big plug enthusiasts. Yeah. And I'm enthusiastic over the fact that we have a CD copy of The Italian Job signed by Mark Wahlberg, everybody. Holy shit. How is he available? That's where you start talking, Mark.

How you guys doing? You don't good? First off, for everybody who can see me, you're welcome. You must be on a whirlwind Transformers 4 tour right now. What's going on? How could you fit in Rosemont?

This is all part of it. I left my house. I went for a jog. I stopped in Chicago. Your house in L.A.? You jogged from... I was like, fuck it. Let's do this.

I got my running jeans on. Let's go. Now you guys are having the time of your lives. Best Cinco de Mayo ever. It really is. Where are my Mexicans at? Not only are there some, but they responded enthusiastically. What was that? What was that?

Okay. Let me ask you this, Mark. Let's do it. It's more of a comment than a question, really. I got a tweet yesterday from someone named KingNino17. All right. tweet yesterday from someone named KingNino17. Alright. And that person wrote, Basketball Diaries, killer movie.

That is a great fucking movie. But the reason it's not brought up, the reason he thinks we didn't mention it on the show is because Donnie has the only VHS copy.

What? What? This guy's just making a joke. Do you understand how jokes work? Yeah, but under that idea, that means Donnie owns a VCR. Which I know for a fact, he can't afford. What? He can't afford an outdated... No, I'll say this. I'll say this about vhs's he likes the pictures he just looks at those all day

i swear to god i don't know what you're talking about now he told me for a matter of fact he spent two months as an assistant manager at a blockbuster, which he only fucking got because of my name. And they kept telling him, like, Donnie, you can't just stand here and look at the covers. So he probably stole it. That's how he got it. I don't mean to cut this short, but we got to keep moving.

We got to wrap this up, because the next Tron movie's about to shoot in this room. They're going to shoot the next Tron movie's about to shoot in this room. They're gonna shoot the next Tron film here. They really need us to clear out. Want the Toby Keith schematics, folks? We got that right behind us.

Yeah, it's either Tron or the plans that Mike Brady had rolled up on that trip to the amusement park. It's right here. They lost his plans when it got mixed up with a poster of Yogi Bear. Funny fact, actually. I turned Tron down.

You want to know why? Please. Because helmets are for pussies. I'm not wearing a fucking helmet I think you had a helmet on in Lone Survivor No I did not have a fucking helmet on And Planet of the Apes Planet of the Apes you had a helmet on No that was fucking CGI

They did that shit in post Safety last Fucking Lone Survivor I did not have a helmet on they're like they were pretty sure the guy wore a helmet i'm like who fucking cares okay i'm the dude who makes it i'm the fucking star of this movie now put real bullets in my gun i shot three pas and a dozen trees. And you know what? Those fucking PAs, they were honored.

I walked up to them. I'm like, you can sue me. If you want to fucking sue me, you can sue me, but I'll tell you right now, I will fucking kill your family if you do. And second of all, do you want to be the guy

who sued Mark Wahlberg or the guy who gets to say, Mark Wahlberg fucking shot me? I didn't get sued. I think you could be both of those in one. Yeah, but I didn't get fucking sued.

When you sue, you could also say, what happened? No. I did what I usually do. I signed a napkin and said, thanks for coming. Why do you think the Academy shunned Lone Survivor?

Like, why didn't it get any Oscars at all? It's too real. They can't fucking handle it. It's too fucking real. That's why. I kept telling them. I'm like, look, I understand this is a real story.

But if we fucking do this at a death camp in World War II, we're going to win. And then they were like, that's not what happened. And I go, what's your fucking name? And he goes, Peter Berg. And I go, I'm Mark fucking Wahlberg, so let's do it my way. So if you go fucking buy the Blu-ray, you'll see they took out all the lines where I was yelling at Nazis.

Which I think fucking made it work. The Academy makes a lot of mistakes. I don't know if you remember, but Jack Reacher was also overlooked. And that could have won everything. Are you saying they reached around? Jack Reacher? Yep. Round?

Yep. I also have for the prize bag a shirt from Dougloveshirts.com and yeah sure, cheer for that enterprise, we sell about five or six shirts a month and also a Team Malton button

that's got a Leonard Malton's visage from South Park on there, a Spiderman mask I recommend this if you go see the new Spider-Man, to just put in front of your face. Just go ahead and miss it, because you can imagine.

He shoots his webs and flies around between buildings. It's been done about two years ago. I heard they left a lot of Zs out of the title. The Amazes. Hey, fuck you guys. I don't understand. Right? We're not doing bits.

We're just talking, being funny. He could be a Toby Keith right now, killing with that. In front of some drunks. You guys just groaned our conversation. Sons of bitches. Drunks. You guys just groaned our conversation. Sons of bitches.

Why don't you fucking just save it and go tell earbuds how shitty that Z joke was. Can I do it right now? What is that? Why are you bringing that into it? What is it? You could be like, I used to like podcasts, so that one asshole made that Z's joke,

and now I'm all out. Can I tell him that right now? It was great until that dude made that fucking Z joke. Thank you, Mr. Wahlberg. Thank you. But that joke is track five on Jeff's album, his CD that he's included for the prize bag

called I Got Potential. Potential. Doesn't mean fully there yet. They're not all winners. I don't get it. Hey, Doug. Yeah, Mark.

God, I won't say it. I almost call him Donnie all the time. It's okay. I don't know why. I think it's because I'd be more comfortable around Donnie. Really? Because he's just fucking normal? Because he's just fucking normal? Because he's just fucking Donnie, yeah.

You're really special to me. You know what? Get in line. Hey, you guys want to do some lines? Oh, shit! What? This is not part of the... You're a guest on the show.

You have to play in the games. I'm pretty fucking certain this is my show. I want to thank you for being the MC. All right. We'll just do it for fun. We'll do a line for fun. Okay, great. Well, then go home and get your fucking shine box.

Good fellas. You got it. There's going to be there's only 13 more rounds. Okay. Also in the prize bag a Game of Thrones coaster that sounds like this.

Yeah, it's a sturdy coaster and it's just the one. People will be like do you have the whole set? Sets are for pussies, you'll say Unless you're lifting weights You do as many fucking sets as you want And then in the green room They have a bowl full of tiny Milky Ways So I grabbed some of those for you guys.

So that's a very substantial prize bag. There's a lot of crap you have to carry around for the rest of the night if you decide to go to Lucky Strikes or Adobe Gillis. Anybody going to Hoffbrau House for Cinco de Mayo? Hoffbrau House is hopping on Cinco de Mayo. It's going to be so bad. Yeah, they got Mexican sausage. Chorizo.

Yeah, it's called chorizo. All right, I think I asked you guys everything I want to ask you. All right, we're good? Yeah. Fuck it, I'll stay. So now's the part of the show where I say, shall we play some banes?

Yes. Affirmative. Let's see your name tags, you guys. I saw them earlier. And gentlemen, go ahead and pick who you want to play for. Who are you playing for, Jeff Tate? I hope his name is Harry. He made a Dirty Harry poster with his face on it.

Okay. Did he shoot the Harry? Why did you pick that? I like name is Harry. He made a Dirty Harry poster with his face on it. Okay. Did he shoot... Why did you pick that? I like Dirty Harry. I like the movie Dirty Harry. Did he shoot sex or only fun? Usually every time I pick a name tag someone just holds up a bag of garbage. Like an actual bag of garbage.

That's it for me. I found it. And this time this guy made something. I was real happy about both things. Are we on to me yet? Nope. So anyway, Dirty Harry is a real, like, the movie, it's a real good movie. It's like a mug shot.

Okay, yeah, Mark, it's your turn, Mark. Alright, I stole this from a girl. It's called Beverly Hills Megan 210 I don't know is this a fucking picture on here of Jason Priestley and that's the main reason I picked it

I felt bad because 1997 I saw him at the corner of Wilshire and Beverly in a convertible and I just fucking kicked him in the face so maybe we'll be cool after this convertible, and I just fucking kicked him in the face. So maybe we'll be cool after this. Trying to make amends, guys.

I'm on the fourth step. You think picking his name tag is going to make him feel not so bad about being kicked in the face? I guarantee he'll fucking hear about it. All right, Graham, who are you playing for? I was sitting at the Peach Pit crying. I went with Jordan, because we saw him at Adobe Gillis, and he was wearing a Palm Strike shirt, and he was drunk, and I can't wait to see what that shirt looks like with green vomit all over it.

So Jordan in the giant Mexican hat. See, I was on the right track. I was trying to steer you to a Palm Strike shirt, and you picked somebody that had a sombrero that they were wearing a palm strike shirt. Wow. Thanks for telling me what happened. Yeah. No, I'm explaining that when you were like, it's Cinco de Mayo,

that's why I picked a sombrero. There was more behind it, and then you just explained the more behind it, and then we all know. Great story. Yeah. No, it is. I decide what the great stories are. Yeah, it is That's I decide what The great stories are Yeah it's fucking

Human sacrifice Dogs and cats Living together Mass hysteria Ghostbusters Oh Jeff You beat me to it You gotta warn us

When you're doing lines With Mark I don't fucking warn Anyone Every girl That's ever said to me You're gonna tell me When right

Nope Oh that's from 13 going on 30 Yep said to me, you're going to tell me when, right? Nope. Oh, that's from 13 Going on 30. Yep. Juno. Yeah, that's a better guess, Juno. Woo! how much did this shit make that's what we're gonna play how much

did you just did like a drunk guy at a bar hey how much did this fucking make how much did it make we're gonna play a game drink up oh god how much did it make? We're going to play a game. Drink up. How much did this shot cost? Leonard Maltin

hasn't given a bomb rating to a single Mark Wahlberg movie. Yeah. Or one star. Or one star. Or shit. Or one star. No shit.

Or one and a half. That's because I fucking rolled two or more. You figure it out. Yeah. There's quite a few two star movies. That's fine. That's his fucking opinion and he's wrong. Here's the problem.

But here's the thing. Go ahead. The problem i have with movie critics is when they go to see my movie i'm already dealing with how jealous they are of me so i've got to get over that fucking hurdle like if you're who's that ugly dude from the movie the burbs tom hanks Tom Hanks. That's the burbs. That's what Tom Hanks is known for. The burbs.

People look at him and they're like, yeah, that guy could mow the lawn across my street. People look at me and they're like, you lucky motherfucker. And you know what? They're right. I lost track of what we were talking about. But Leonard Maltin has never given any of your films four stars.

Yeah. I know. No, I don't give a fuck. He's given two of your films three and a half stars. Okay. The Departed and Boogie Nights. Yep. I was the main person in both of those. I'd give four stars to Boogie Nights. Yep. I was the main person in both of those. I'd give four stars

to Boogie Nights personally. That's because it's fucking great. Yeah. You go trying to be somebody who pretends that they can't act. For like days. Yeah. Somehow you were good at it. You want to know something? Yes, please.

Because I'm in a good mood? You got the touch. You got the power. Here you go, guys. You'll never forget that. What don't you understand about this? Do I get a point that What don't you understand about this? Do I get a point? Do I get a point for that? What don't you understand about this?

I give you You give me the fucking tapes I go get a fucking record deal And I give you the money What don't you fucking get about this? Boogie Nights again I know Taekwondo You're right

The Great Debaters It was not the fucking Great Debaters That was Boogie Nights again Jeff I don't understand this game Are you just going to keep saying lines from boogie nights? It's my time. So yes, the answer is yes. This is my time right now.

Yes, he is. I'm going to fucking be somebody, ma. Coal miner's daughter. Right. No. It was fucking boogie nights. Are you guys seriously this bad at this game yeah

basketball diary quiz show it was quiz show Mrs. Doubtfire that's a good fucking movie yeah I'm gonna interrupt it

on Mother's Day May 11th in Littleton Colorado but seriously you guys, I just announced that we were going to play a game, and then ten minutes later... My least favorite movie of yours,

and you probably won't take this personally, because you don't do everything. Are you going to say Max Payne? No, no. Good, because that's fucking great. What was it? Planet of the Apes. Why didn't you like that? Because it was bullshit. Dude, I was fucking running

from apes. Oh yeah, it was good the first time they did it. Yeah, did you see the original? It didn't need to be remade. Charlton Heston, man. Okay, yeah. Fuck me for not wanting to be a cop once. I get it.

I understand that you'd be tired of that. Tim Burton, he's a great director. Yeah. It's debatable. But it just didn't work for me. But you like The Happening? I'm sorry. I said, I named my least favorite.

There's others I don't like as well. So you like The Happening more? More than Planet of the Apes, yes. Okay, I'll take it. What? So we're going to play. We'll start with Graham, then we'll go to you, Mark, and then we'll go to Jeff.

Okay. Planet of the Apes, the version you were in. How much did it make without going over, according to boxofficemojo.com? Opening weekend? Domestic. Domestic gross. The entire run.

Okay. Up until like a couple days ago. Are you for real? How much? No, but I'm happy, happy, happy, happy. Frozen. That's not from Frozen. That's from...

Oh, two. That's from... Just Pickle Me 2. Just Pickle Me 2, yeah. Just Pickle Me as well. Just Pickle me additionally. That's just all of the different... Like when they release it overseas,

that's what it translates to. How much do you think Planet of the Apes Tim Burton style made, Graham? Tim Burton style, I would go $148 million. That's in cash. 148 you're saying?

Yeah. Okay. What do you think, Mark? Some people are mad over here that I made that big. They're like, what a dick. I'm also going to, in my guess,

I'm going to include how much it should have made. Just be clear about which is which. I don't want you to lose on false hope. It's the same fucking answer. Okay, what is it?

162. Opening weekend. All right, Jeff, what do you think? Eight bucks. Not off of you, Jeff. The question isn't... I spent $8 to see it. Okay, we'll add that in.

In fairness, I was alone in the theater. 162.08. I have to say, you sold yourself short there, Mark. Because it was $189? No, then you went too far. Okay, fair enough. It was $180. But hold on, for the record, what am I in this game?

The winner? Yes. Get used to it, motherfuckers. You're the winner. Good for you. You got the best guess of how much of a movie you were in made. Yep. Well done.

You and the dude with the fucking scar on his cheek from me kicking him is going to win this fucking game. What was it? That's why he has a scar on his face? Yep. People think it was from a badass car accident. Nope. It was for looking at me too long.

How long is too long? I'm really close to your feet right now. It really depends on the guy. But if you were like, if you were ever in your life second to Luke Perry, it's about six seconds. Which is not as long as... Eight seconds. Yeah, I know.

You fucked up the joke. Or you were just talking real. I'm talking real. Yeah. It was no joke intended. It's just a coincidence. Yeah, eight seconds. That's the first version of...

Is that why you died in that movie? Yeah, because it's the first version of... No, because it's the first version of Dallas Buyers Club. Check it out. We should edit this part out. They're very similar. There's a guy in a rodeo. Yeah, and he fucks chicks.

But then AIDS is where it becomes a different movie. Yeah. There's no AIDS in eight seconds. That I recall. Was it subtext? It wasn't overt. I don't think there's a rodeo clown out there that doesn't have AIDS.

Show of hands? And I don't think a rodeo clown listens to this podcast and if they do, I want them to give me a shout on Twitter and also let me know how the AIDS is working out. It explains their recklessness. It's about time somebody came after those fucking rodeo clouds, Jeff.

Take those assholes down a notch. Now, just for fun, Mark, we're going to start with you and then we're going to go to Graham and then to Jeff. Same game? Because Jeff really muffed that last one. Now, what do you think the original, superior plan of the apes made

in its entire domestic run? Back in the day. That's the one with Moses? I suppose-es. Don't encourage that. Is it literally like up till now? What? Like all time?

Has there been a big re-release lately of the Planet of the Apes against your Planet of the Apes? I'm going to go $72 million 72 million okay is that way off if i told you i wouldn't other contestants would have a clue graham i'll go 101 million dollars okay jeff dollars okay Jeff yeah prices right in the back they're going one dollar Jeff Jeff likes eight dollars yeah I'm gonna go eight bucks again this time you win win because it only made $32.5 million. This doesn't happen very often, but we have three players on the stage that I think will understand how this game works. Let's play Build a Title.

How does this game work? An example would be... Teen Wolf of Wall Street. Street Fighter Terminator 2. Judgment Day of the Dead. Man Walking Tall. The President's Man. In Black.

Fisher King. People know it. People King. People know it. People in the audience know it. Love comedy. And we're going to start with, yeah, King Ralph's in there. We're going to start. We're going to start. Jeff gets to go first.

And then Mark, then Graham. And Jeff, the title is that we're building on a Mark Wahl then Graham. And Jeff, the title is that we're building on a Mark Wahlberg classic. All of them. If you had to guess, though, which one do you think I'm going to say? I Hire Huckabees?

You think there are a lot of movies that end in I or begin with Bs? Yep. Okay. Name one on either end. Oh, Red Eye. There you go. Okay. But what starts with Bs?

Bee Season. Bee Season. Bee's nuts, fool. I hit my head on my cocktail glass. All right, so the movie I chose... Bee My Baby. The movie I chose, because it's a good starter title for this game,

because you can build on both ends, is Date Night. Okay, I'll fucking do that. Remember when you were in Date Night? Was that fun to do? Yeah, I wasn't in it a whole lot, but they got their money's worth, so... So we need a movie that ends in date

or begins with night. I thought we were starting with Jeff. Jeff, start us off. Date Night of the Living Dead. Yeah, see how easy that is? That's a nice crowd, Jeff. I know. Because you just accomplished nothing.

I'm not out yet. Jesus. He was supposed to win it, and then... No, I'm just saying. When did my dad take over the show? Yeah. You piece of shit. Your brother would have won the game.

That's what my dad always said to Tom. You guys are totally right. Applaud every time somebody does a simple adding of a very obvious movie. Please. Please. Keep encouraging them. Mark? Due date.

What? Due date night of the living dead. Oh, see, that's got less applause. Mark due date what due date night of the living dead oh see that's got less applause but you know why because they're used to it

it's more alright Graham due date night of the living dead pool yeah oh pool see that gets fucking nothing All right, Graham. Due date, night of the living, dead. Pool. Yeah. Oh, pool. See, that gets fucking nothing.

Because they expect greatness from me, so that they just go. That explains it. That's Elwood being bold. You're right. You're right. Does it go backwards? Or does it jump? Pool hall junkies.

Oh, nice. Yeah. They're very Jeff Tate supportive tonight. Pool Hall Junkies. Was that okay, Graham? Yes. Junkies. So you got to end, Mark, with date or begin with junkies.

Oh, do. You're right. Do. Do. The Devils do. The Devils do? Who's in that? People who aren't me.

Those movies are hard to keep track of. Is that not a movie? I don't think any... I'm sure it's probably like something that went straight to cable, but... Okay. That stars Leif Garrett. He's brilliant in it.

He's really good. It's like poetic what he does. Yeah. Work He's brilliant in it. He's really good. It's like poetic what he does. Work it, hashtag work it. All right, so I'm sorry, Mark. Everybody thinks you should be out. Okay. You should like drop the mic and just start doing curls.

You want to get a set in? Yeah, curls. You want to get a set in? Yeah, yeah. You want to fucking burn it out? I'll burn. Yeah, yeah. I brought my gym. It's in the fucking back. You brought your gym?

Can we bring Mark's gym out? Can we bring it out? No, no, no. Let him leave it. I don't want people seeing what I'm pushing. Donnie had to get here at 3am To set that up And you know what All he did it was for a Subway gift card

How much was on it $1.47 I'm like go get a cookie What did you tell him was on it I go life's full of surprises Donnie Oh, no. I'm like, go get a cookie. What'd you tell him was on it? Huh? What'd you tell him for? Oh, no, I told him, I go, life's full of surprises, Donnie. Good luck getting a sandwich. Yeah.

Make sure they warm it up for you. Would Subway make a whole sandwich and then you hand them the gift card and then it's already made, what are they going to do with it if your gift card's not enough? I imagine just throw it away. I mean, everybody who works there is like a deadbeat dad or a runaway.

A runaway! I mean, technically, I'm an artist. No, you're not. You fucking put too much ranch on my sandwich. You're not an artist. Yeah what would an artist do that yeah artists don't walk around all day going toasted all right graham uh so what is it what title? Ends in do or begins with junkies. It ends in do? Yeah, due date.

Due date. Due date's the first part. Due date night. Of the living dead. Double, double, two or three junkies junkies Donnie D on the backup

drug free so put your crack up oh I got it anybody Batman maybe what did he say what movie is that from Dark Knight I got it. What? I got one.

Oh, okay. Maybe I'll get back around to you the next time you're on the show because you're out. Are you guys laughing at the idea that Doug thinks I'll come back. Alright. Told you, dude. You're lucky I was out for a jog.

I accidentally walked into that fucking cowboy place. There was people just drinking gravy. Hey gravy will you do me a favor it's called Toby Keith's I love this fucking place first of all yeah and then ramble on so that I have 10 minutes to think oh I got you I'm the dumb one here

don't say that let people find out they know Graham Graham what is your answer? Overdue What is that? It's that movie where Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn Don't get their books back in time Yeah, exactly

There's a young librarian By the name of Leif Garrett Okay, he's still Jeff was describing overboard There's a young librarian by the name of Leif Garrett. Okay, he's still you. Jeff was describing overboard. Graham's playing Build-A-Riff. Okay, Graham's out. Can you add one more to it for fun, Jeff?

Yes, I can. East of Eden? Junk East of Eden? I mean, you won already anyway, so I'll take it. No, that's bullshit. That was great. East, East, East of Eden. No, that's fucking bullshit. It works, right?

Yeah, it's okay. Here, I have a question for you, Doug. Please. Could I have gone that thing you do, Doug? Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. So we know who's good That's that movie with that ugly guy From the burbs

You're right The ugly guy from the burbs Oh shit There are so many ugly people In the burbs Carrie Fisher Oh come on You guys booed my awesome Z's joke

And you're gonna let that go by like nothing happened It's may the 5th be with you And you're gonna just let him fucking say that Go watch the movie guys She's not walking around in a gold bikini in that So that's for drunks May the 5th be with you. Yes.

Okay. Let's play Last Man Stanton. Oh, shit. Bam, bam, bam. Jeff's going to kick us off, and then we'll go to Mark and then Graham. What is this game? You don't know Last Man Stanton? If it has to do with Harry Dean Stanton,

I might as well go get a drink. You can't sit out some of the games. Okay. It's all building to someone. You know what I will do? I will not lose, but I will let someone else win. It's all about perspective, people. It's very noble of you.

Such a gentleman. This game explains itself, Mark. It's an easy game, yeah. It's very noble of you. Such a gentleman. This game explains itself, Mark. It's an easy game, yeah. Okay, let's do it. We get a name from... I'm going to get a name of a director, an actor, an actress, and someone with a lot of movies that they've done. And then we have to take turns.

I'm going to play, too. We'll take turns one at a time naming movies that that person was in or involved with. Affiliated with. Affiliated it with. Affiliated, sure. And Mike... We might not be able to remember who was the executive producer of stuff

but... Because you've had executive producer credit a few times. Yeah, it's called Boardwalk Empire. Go check it out. It's also called Prisoners. Did you guys go see that fucking movie? You were a producer on Prisoners? I was a producer on that movie. Why didn't you play the Gyllenhaal or Jackman role?

Because he already did that role in Lovely Bones. Jeff, I was not asking you. I'm sorry. Is that the answer, Mark? What's that? Nothing. Okay. So we need to get from... I like the girl, the sign you had.

What was your sign? Let me see it again. It's an anaconda. And she's got my face on there and Leonard Maltin's face on there. And an ice cube. And your face, right? And a snake around it like an anaconda. And her face is in there.

I should have taken that. And she's wearing a palm strike shirt. So I'll let you decide who should we play for Last Man Standing. What would be a good subject for this game? Somebody with a lot of movies they've done. Jon Voight. Jon Voight. Oh, great choice.

Great choice. All right. What? Yeah. You know what? That's a fucking. Thank you. That's a bitch, Jon Voight movies

I'll see what I can do Do you want to know what I loved him in? I will predict That I'm not going to win this one Jon Voight is a tough one Do you want to know what I loved him in? No, because the game is we start taking turns Saying the names of his films

So you don't want to blurt one out now But when you do say You can say that you loved him in it No, because the game is we start taking turns saying the names of his films. So you don't want to blurt one out now. But when you do say, you could say that you loved him in it. Because I was going to say... No, don't say it! Mark! I was going to say... Mark!

You'll find out. Oh, okay. He's such a trickster. Like when you're... I've been at a couple parties with him and you'll just be standing there and all of a sudden his prosthetic dick comes out.

It's fucking huge. And you know what? Jon Voight? I tell that to people so they don't feel bad. I'm like, oh no, it's fake. Yours is normal. Jeff.

Then I give him one of these. Don't cry. Jeff, what do you got for John Voight John Voight films Enemy of the State He was in that Okay Good call That movie had a lot of people in it

What do you got What do you got Mark Deliverance Yeah of course That's a big John Voight movie Graham I will go with Anaconda What do you got, Mark? Deliverance. Yeah, of course. That's a big Jon Voight movie. Graham? I will go with Anaconda.

Was right there in front of us. Somebody had to do it. He is so fucking great in that movie. So over the top. Oh, Anacondas don't hurt people? Oh, they don't? Is that crazy? Yeah, yeah. What about these scars on my face? I thought it went, Anacondas don't hurt people unless crazy? Yeah, yeah. What about the scar on my face?

I thought it went anacondas don't hurt people unless you got buns, hun. Even white boys got to shout. You can do side bends or sit-ups. But please

don't lose that bod. He's Asian in that movie? He's all over the map It's fantastic He's an Asian Brazilian jungle dude Yeah he's like crazy And Eric Stoltz is like What? Eric Stoltz is still like

I was Marty McFly Alright John Boy was like Marty McFly. Alright. John Boy was like, Marty McFly. For the record, I am not the person talking like this. No, you're the... I can't do it. Okay, so I'm going to go with

for John Boy movies I can't do it. Okay, so I'm going to go with, for Jon Voight movies, how about National Treasure? National Treasure. I agree. It's not that impressive. National Treasure 2, Book of Secrets. Yeah. What the fuck is wrong

With you guys I walked right into that one Varsity Blues guys Nice I don't want your life What movie is that from I don't want your life Varsity Blues

It is from Varsity Blues I don't want your life I do it better He hits his dad in the face With a football It's a pretty good movie I don't want your life. I do it better. Then he hits his dad in the face with a football. It's a pretty good movie. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, that's right.

Oh. This guy did fire that fucking pigskin. That's the actual dude who was in the movie. He's just like, let's get her down up there. Oopty fucking oop. My career's over. I'm moving to Rosemont. I say, fuck that.

48 minutes for the next 48 minutes of our lives. Then he does this. For the people watching at home, I'm pointing. Are we doing lines with Mark? What's that? Yeah, that was Varsity Blues.

Oh, okay. Jesus. I thought you moved on to a different thing. Is that all the Varsity Blues lines you know? I know one. What's that? You sure look good with that whipped cream on your titties. Was that Jon Voight? Was that Jon Voight?

He's crazy with the accents and everything he's in. He really brings it. I got another one. Oh, wait, was it on you? Is it your turn? No, no, another line from Varsity Blues. Okay.

Junior Varsity was pretty good, but I got all these Varsity Blues now. That's not in it? Get Jeff Tate's new album, guys. We'll be in the lobby after the show. It's good stuff. He's got potential. Right, I don't fucking oversell the album.

I tell you right on the cover. It's fucking, it's okay. I'll be fine one day. Who said Varsity Blues? You? I did. Okay, Graham. Midnight Cowboy.

Oh, yeah, classic. I'm walking here, I'm walking here. Saddest thingboy. Oh, yeah, classic. I'm walking here, I'm walking here. Saddest thing in life is wasted talent. And the choices that we make today change our lives forever. Rockstar? Saddest thing in life is wasted talent. Urban Cowboy. And the choices that we make today change our lives forever.

Norma Rae. The saddest thing in life Oh shit I was guessing Mark Wahlberg movies but we've moved on from that The choices that we make today Midnight Cowboy Will change our lives forever Spider-Man That's with great power comes great responsibility

He's just paraphrasing that line That's what he's doing great responsibility. He's just paraphrasing that line. That's what he's doing. Just sum it up. You did a good thing, son. You did a good thing for a bad man. He said I did a good thing for a bad man. I didn't know what that meant.

God, you're like a broken robot. What the fuck is happening? Tell us what you're doing. A broken robot. Broken robot. I knew her name was really pretty. I knew would be something exotic what did you say you're a fucking winner brother i'm doing the whole fucking movie up here what movie is it a bronx tail yes holy shit you and that guy should go jerk each other off outside hold. That was a very special bonding experience

you just had. Chaz Palminteri just got a boner all the way across the country. Wherever he is. He's fucking great in that. Wow, Bronx Tale. All right, buddy. Try to be a little bit more, you know.

Not awesome? Yes. Dial down the awesome and just do movies that people know. Normal it up for you. Yeah, normal it up. N-O-R-M-L. Hey, did you guys see those two lonely robots? Look at this sword. It's like a light.

Are you quoting scripture? Is that from WALL-E? No, that's not from... Hey, look at... Did you guys see those two... The bronze toe? No, did you guys see those two lonely robots? Look at this sword.

It's like a light. Star Wars? It is fucking Star Wars. That's not from Star Wars, you weirdo. I'm pretty certain that's from Star Wars. Lonely robots? Oh, God forbid I just fucking normal it up here. And this sword is like a light?

They say something like that in that fucking movie. Yeah, yeah. But someone got it right. Yeah. Who the fuck knew that was from Star Wars? Fucking normal people. I think it was me that said it. Maybe, I don't know.

All right, so where are, who started this? It's to you. It's on me? Oh, thanks for stalling. Appreciate it. Yeah, I just did Midnight Cowboy. I'm going to say Coming Home. Oh, nice.

Good film. It's one of the better colostomy bag movies. Pearl Harbor? He would do that? He was the president, right? He played the press? Yeah. Nice job, Jeff.

Thank you. I think that was more impressive than the Night of the Living Dead. I'm going to go with The Last Time They Loved Each Other. Tomb Raider. Wow. That's

hardcore right there. That is the full title. Full title. Full title. Full title, please. What else you got, Graham? Oh, I was thinking of riffs instead of fucking... Oh, yeah. Darn it. Did we do Deliverance?

Yes, we did. Yeah, but say it again. Let's do Deliverance. Okay, we'll do Deliverance 2. All we did. Yeah, but say it again. Let's do Deliverance. Okay, we'll do Deliverance 2. All right. The sequel. Back up the river. River's going to A-Tree.

This one. Woo-hoo. Deliverance 2. Wasn't Up the Creek the sequel to Deliverance? Yeah, it was. It's good stuff. A river wild. Yeah.

Jesse Ventura. Oh Oh it's my turn? Yeah I'm out Oh you're out? Out? I'm out Holy shit Yeah I got a thing I gotta go over to Toby Keith's

Graham's gotta get out of here I gotta go to Hofbrauhaus And celebrate Berlin Wall Coming down day Which is tomorrow I'm gonna go with with mission, colon, impossible. Oh, fuck me. God damn it.

Who the fuck? Bullshit. What's up? Are you the guy he's playing for, or just you're excited about Jeff? He loves cheers. Yeah! We're going to play a special Leonard Moulton game tonight.

It's all Cheers episodes. Do you have one, Jon Voight? No. No? All right. I might have wrapped this up right here, Marky Mark. Hmm. No, he's got... He asked for permission.

I ran it by him before the show. I was like, I might call you Marky Mark. This is a movie he was in? Yeah, we're going with movies he was in. I don't think he became a producer like you. Does Ray Donovan count?

No, but he's great on that. He is good on that. He's a fucking weirdo. You know what? I don't even know if he's in this movie, but I just remember it was shitty. Sahara?

What? Isn't that a movie with the guy who... What's it called? It's called Sahara. Yeah, it's not in it. It's that movie with Steve Zahn. It's great. I like it.

But Jon Voight isn't in it, though, right? I like Sahara, but of course I do. I win! I win! I win! That way! What a cunt. But here's the fun part where the audience starts screaming at us what we missed. Holes! Holes!

Holes. Holes. Transformers? Transformers, yeah. Heat, you're right. He was in Heat. Heat, yes. Oh, that was a good one.

Vince Champ! Oh, the Champ! Oh, the Champ. I thought you said Vince Champ. He's a comic who went to jail for raping people. It's not cool, dude. The Champ, yeah. Little Ricky Schroeder was in that. That was a great film.

What's that? Zoolander? Oh, yeah, he is a Zoolander. Oh, okay. I remember there was a movie in the 70s where he was a teacher in the South or where he was like a teacher in the South or something like that. Yeah.

Conrac? Yeah. Okay, Conrac. Thank you. They were all teachers. It was spring break. Tropic Thunder. Tropic Thunder.

There you go. That's right. Yeah. He's in the Oscars at the end. Sahara. Sahara. No guy in the audience. We already established it's Sahara.

Thanks, buddy. I think there's some guys from Mark's gym that are sitting out in the back. Mark's gym. Pain and gain. It's a great fucking movie. I let The Rock be in that. All right.

Who was second to me to name a last person to name a movie? Was it Graham? I think it was Graham. I was. Really? What was the last one you said? The last time they loved each other, Tomb Raider. I'm sorry.

You're right. National Lampoon's the last time they loved each other. Tomb Raider. Graham, you were the next correct answer after that, right? You said Pearl Harbor. I said Pearl Harbor. Oh, shit. All right.

My last answer was Marathon Man. No, no. My last answer was The Reason I'm Out. Midnight Run. That was my last answer. That was my last correct answer. Midnight Cowboy. You can't get it right. No, I'm switching it up.

John Voight was in all those. Midnight Run was the last movie I watched. I watched it yesterday. Oh, sweet. It's good. It was just on. I saw a couple minutes of it myself, and I was like, this movie's so great.

I just have it on my computer. I watch it a few times a month. Does this conversation mean we're wrapping it up? No, it means we're about to play the Leonard Maltin game. Yay! I gotcha. to play the Leonard Maltin game. Yay! So we're going to start with Jeff and then go to Mark and then to Graham. And Jeff gets to pick a category.

First person to two points is our winner. And the prize bag will go to the person... You know how it works. Before we get into this. Oh, Jeff is pointing into the crowd like a baseball player. Like, I'm gonna fucking punch you. Right?

Baseball players do that? I'm gonna fucking punch you, guy. You don't stop making that Jason Priestley face. Rob Dibble does. Or did. Rob Dibble? We Or did. Rob Dibble? We'll cut that part out. Look, here's the deal, okay?

You guys all came out here. And before we get into this game, I would just like to say... Thanks for coming to my show. If you do want to jerk me off, we can work something out. That's cool. Is this from like a Kiss Live DVD?

Close. Are we doing lines now? Yeah, we don't know when we're playing the game and when you're just talking from the heart. It does sound like something... Just talking from the heart. Anybody want to just open up tonight? Just kind of get it all out panel style?

Let's do a fucking testimonial Groundhog Day I didn't land on Plymouth Rock Plymouth Rock landed on us Malcolm X We didn't land on Plymouth Rock Plymouth Rock landed on us He said it already

Malcolm X He already said it twice now Who? Graham Elwood keeps saying Malcolm X Malcolm X Good job That's right Eddie Izzard Dressed to Kill Twice now. Who? Graham Elwood. Keep saying Malcolm X. Malcolm X. Good job, Graham Elwood. I'm talking to one else.

Eddie Izzard, dressed to kill. Nope. All right, stop yelling things out, everybody. Even the people on the stage. Yeah, guys. We have to play a serious Leonard Mullen game. And Jeff gets to start us off. Jeff, would you end this?

Last call for Alky Hall. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Rocket Horror Picture Show. Hey, girl. I know who I want to take me home. who I want to take me home. Hey, Jealousy!

We can drive around this town. I will not be drawn into old music Banoff. Shy, shy, hush, hush. I, why? And I ran. I ran so far away. The League of Shadows could not get away.

I wish you... Sue, Sue, Sue, dear. There you go. That's fucking great. I wish you would step back from my lens, that friend. You could... cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in. And... if you did not want to see me again,

I would understand. Very good. Very good, Graham. That was your best pain yet, Graham. Thank you. It was really good. Thanks, guys. Been good, Graham. That was your best pain yet, Graham. Thank you. It was really good. Thanks, guys. Been working on it. You know what? I'll let him have it. Jeff.

Jeff. Jeff. Jeff Tate, you're under oath. Would you like... I got a hilarious jumper story. That's usually not how it goes. Celebrating a birthday today is the great Michael Palin,

who you know from Monty Python and lots of other things. So the films of Michael Palin. Or at Acne of the Gods on Twitter, suggested Tight Club. And Tight Club is movies with guys who have sex, but keep it a secret. What does that even mean?

First rule of Tight Club is to keep it tight and then the second rule is to fucking keep it keep your lips tight also or turn over a new leaf that's the early films of Joaquin Phoenix when he was named Leaf Phoenix

or Blueberry Johnson the Blueberry Johnson category I think I might put it in every show it's you're in this so this is a movie that Or Blueberry Johnson, the Blueberry Johnson category. I think I might put it in every show. It's you're in this. So this is a movie that someone in the panel is in. Oh, holy shit. Me, Graham, or Mark Wahlberg.

See, that's a good starting clue for you. Well, actually, a lot of people don't know this. Of whether or not you should pick that category. Graham's got a really good scene in Nothing in Common with Jackie Gleason and the ugly guy from The Burps. And the ugly guy. I'm going to take Turn Over a New Leaf. All right. So what is this category? This is when Turn Over a New Leaf. All right. So what is his character?

This is when he was a child actor. This is movies where people rake their yard. Yeah. He was Leaf Phoenix in the early days. And don't yell out if you know one. And two stars from Leonard for this one from 1986. And two stars from Leonard for this one from 1986. He says about this movie that the special effects are below par.

Yeah. And he says that some of the characters in this movie wouldn't even rate, whatever that means, wouldn't rate at McDonald's College. So he's made up an institution. Yeah, he's made up an institution called McDonald's College. And the characters in this movie wouldn't even rate there. Like, they're not even smart enough. That looks like every other marionette in Tijuana. For those of you watching in your car,

Graham was dancing around. And also, can I say this? These people at home don't know this, but if it's going to be this hot in here, can we just do some yoga? It's a tricky time of year. Oh. I just did a double backflip if you're listening.

And if you're not listening, you're not listening. It's only in the audio format, Mark. Fair enough. Okay. These people sitting in front of us, they know they're not listening. I think it's so cold, even though it's May, it's still cold outside, so I think they've overcompensated with the heat inside. Hey, I'm in good enough shape. I could wear three

sweaters and be fine. I worry about these people. That's extra. Jeff Leonard lists nine names. Nine names. Oh, okay. Jeff says nine names. How many? Oh, okay. Jeff says nine names. Mark.

I said it was going to Mark next, right? Mm-hmm. Okay, Mark. Name it. That's some T.J. Miller shit right there. All right, Jeff, here's your nine names. I'm not even going to read the clues again because I will be very disappointed in you

if you don't know what it is after nine names. I won't be very disappointed. I will be. Graham will be. Terry O'Quinn was in this movie. We also got Barry Primus Tom Skerritt Tate Donovan

I don't know what that guy's yelling about Joaquin Phoenix So Leonard's listing him as Joaquin Even though He was listed in the movie as Leaf Trust me This is very important I can use this on appeal

No Is there a Douglas Movies appeal process? Yes leaf, trust me. This is very important. I can use this on appeal. No, there's going to be... Is there a Douglas Movies appeal process? There's only... No. Yes, yeah, you can go. Sam Levine is starting a website. Okay. Is that the guy who kept asking to take a picture?

Oh, we know where the Team Sam whores are. Team Sam whores. TSW in the house. Larry B. Scott was in this movie At this point do you know Is that that attorney This is it this is the last three names out of nine Do you know it at this point

Let's find out if he knows it after I tell him the names Let's do that I know this is your show But just let me run this part You're right Kelly Preston Leah Thompson And Kate Capshaw in a movie where Leif Phoenix... This is awesome.

This is the boldest fucking strategy that's ever happened. It's called Mark Gets the Point. I think so. Yeah, I don't know. I think so. I can't believe you don't know the classic Space Camp. Oh, Space Camp. Space Camp, yeah.

Space Camp. Sorry, buddy. I haven't seen it in 27 years. Too bad it wasn't on yesterday. It had Kate Capshaw, Leah Thompson, Kelly Preston, Larry B. Scott, a young Lee Phoenix. What's never happened, sir, besides you yelling out more than one time? Good burn. Yeah, super good burn.

What's that now? Not as bad as Madison. Not as bad as Madison. You know, kind of worse because you're a man and you're fucking really loud. You're sober. I hope he's sober. And you're doing it on purpose.

Yeah, yeah. Guys, don't blame him. Blame the person next to him who's like, say something, man. Fucking say something. There's no way that that person exists. Just fucking say it. You got all the jokes back here.

Fucking say something. I'm pretty sure Doug loves it based off the other shit he said. So don't blame him. It's your friend. I think it's Space Camp. That is correct. Maybe he's high and I can get the point.

I am high and you will not get the point. So Mark got the point. Graham wasn't involved in that skirmish. So we'll start with Graham. And then we'll go to Mark. And Graham gets to pick a category between Christopher Waltzen, movies where Christopher Walken dances. He's all like, oh!

And, um... Oh! He's doing a yes. Oh, I'm dancing! Sounds more like Andrew Dice Clay. Yeah, I know. Christopher Walken as Andrew Dice Clay. Hickory dickory dock.

Oh! The Nut Job. That's movies where there's a woman dressed as a man. Not unlike the fellow who keeps yelling out. Oh, that's what crossed the line, you fucking guys? That was the one? I'm telling you, blame the friends. Always blame your friends.

And Full Metal Jacket. Full Metal Jack-it. And that's a movie where a robot has sex. Full Metal Jacket. And that's a movie where a robot has sex. Full metal jacket. Which one of those do you like, Graham? I'll go full metal jacket. Finally. The category's been floating around for a while.

I'm a big fan of Arlie Emery. Would you like a robot having sex movie from 73, 75, or 2004? And those 70s are both in the 1900s. Okay. Okay. We're not going that deep. We're into the future. Let's go.

Let's go 75. Interesting. Yeah. Three stars from Lenny Malt for this movie from 75 that he calls effective. Like you knew it was a movie. Sure. Oh, okay, this was an opera.

Okay, I got it. It was followed by three inferior TV sequels. That's a great clue. If you... Four, five, six, seven, eight names. How many names? Robots have sex. Don't think what you're looking for

is written on the ceiling I think I gotta go zero name what do you think of that Mark Wahlberg name it bro he just says name it he's gonna win right he could win this if I'm wrong but I wanna say yeah that's how it works What do you think of that, Mark Wahlberg? Name it, bro. He just says name it. He's going to win.

He could win this if I'm wrong, but I want to say it. Yeah, that's how it works. I'm sorry. I forgot it was your show. That's my fault. It's all right. You've been a great guest. I want to thank you for coming out. Thank you, Mr. Wahlberg.

Logan's Run. Okay, let's break this down a little bit. Robots have sex in Logan's Run? Yeah, there's a scene where they've got the... They've got like a pleasure bod or something? Isn't that from Woody Allen's Sleeper? Oh, right. I mean, robots may have had sex in that movie,

but you took a chance, you stuck your neck out there, and everybody appreciates it, right? I certainly do. I go big or I go home, friends. Well, you're doing both right now. Because the answer is the Stepford Wives. Stepford Wives. They're all fucking

robots having sex all the time. And they made it into three TV things that sucked. And a movie with Nicole Kidman that also sucked. Midnight Run also had three TV sequels. Really? You know what? Christopher McDonald played the Jack Walsh character.

Were they good? No. But that's not casting aspersions on Christopher McDonald. He's good. No, no. He did what he could with the material. I'm late, Danny. I'm late, Danny.

The shiny? Do not yell out until they get it wrong. Juno. I'm late, Danny. The shiny? Do not yell out until they get it wrong. Juno. I'm late, Danny. Dog, did you just punch yourself? Are you okay? I punched myself on my glass. That's all right.

I'm late, Danny. Oh, Caddyshack's a good guess. It is Caddyshack. Yeah, nice job. Caddyshack. Well, then we'll just get married. All right. Hey, you know the show's... I'm wrapping it up right now, right? We got four more rounds. Yeah, nice job. Caddyshack. Well, then we'll just get married. All right.

Hey, you know the show's... I'm wrapping it up right now, right? We got four more rounds. No, Mark Wahlberg is our winner, so who are you playing for, Mark? He called it. It's just a good vibration. Come get your prizes. Who was it you were playing for?

Megan 210. Yeah, Megan, come up here. Are you anywhere nearby? Oh, there she is. There she is. Well, you went all the way to the back to get that name tag. Good job. Oh, thank you. Is there a shit head on the back to get that name tag. Good job. Oh, thank you.

Is there a shit head on the back of yours, Jeff? Hey, Megan. You'll never forget this. Is that your boyfriend back there? Oh, of course you can have a hug. My fiancé. Fiancé. Lock it up, dude.

Way to go. Fiance. Lock it up, dude. Way to go. It's not about getting married. It's about getting married before they get sick of you. Tell me, how's it gonna be? What's that word right there? When you don't know me. How's it gonna be? What's that word right there? When you don't know me.

Is it the? How's it gonna be when I'm not there? How's it gonna be? Third Eye Bane. All I can say is my life is pretty planned. I like watching puddles in the rain. Bane Mellon. That's me in the corner.

R.E. Bane. I could do this game all fucking night. All night. It feels like you're dancing kind of close. I can feel a little poke coming through on you. Well, girl, you know I can't help it. I try to hide it, but you're making it hard for me. I don't know that. Hey, Graham's going to be selling copies of the Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies out in the lobby area along with lots of other stuff.

What else you got out there? Whistling Bane shirts. Whatever you want. Come buy photos and autographs for free. I'm going to be at the Doubletree banging chicks. Maybe a dude. I don't give a fuck. I'm just making dreams happen. Don't you have like a wife and kids?

What's that? Nothing. Oh, there's no rules when I go out for a jog. What happens on the jog stays on the jog. I'm like, baby, that's just a jog. Jeff will be out selling his CDs. You know what my favorite of all your movies is? What's that?

The Italian jog. There you go. Jeff, what do you got coming up? I'll be at Go Bananas Comedy Club in Cincinnati, July 10, 2013. Love that place. And something in Winston-Salem, July 3, 4, 5. All right. Jeff Tate's a very funny man if you haven't seen him.

Check him out. It's very funny guy. I got potential. Transformers 4. Thanks, Graham. Yeah. Dark Side of something, or what's it called? Transformers 4, change your fucking life.

That's the subtitle? Change your fucking life? You guys, they fucking brought back to life Like a fucking robot dinosaur Why didn't they spell it Trans, the number four, and then MERS I don't know, Jeff, we'll talk to him about it

Mark Wahlberg knows my name One more round of applause for all these guys Thank you, Rosemont! Last one! Thank you so much for coming. Go up top, people. Let's go fucking up top. Come on, don't leave me.

It's great. They still have their microphones. All right, dude, do you want to do some push-offs or what? I haven't sat that long without working out in three years. No. Thank you guys

They turned that shit off Hey did you see that girl's rack in the front row She slipped a nip out Like halfway through the game That's why I didn't know Space Cat Lost my mind Thank you guys so much for coming And from wherever you came from,

I know that a lot of people in Chicago prefer me to play in Chicago. You don't want to come out to Rosemont, but I appreciate that you did. The ladies in Madison were worse than that guy. He was right, but I still don't

like the heckler to win. If you guys are okay with it, I'm going to come back and do this again sometime because I had a blast. And as always, the Triple H is a shithead. And missing 24 for this show is a shithead. And missing 24 for this show is a shithead.