Doug Loves Movies - Geoff Tate, Willy Wonka, and Graham Elwood Guest

Episode Date: August 11, 2013

Live from the Comedy Club on State in Madison, WI, Doug welcomes Geoff Tate, Willy Wonka, and Graham Elwood to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sticky teeth With 50-year-old popper cripples in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Oh, come on, who needs? Hey everybody My name is Doug And I love movies This is I Loveves Movies! Coming to you for the first time, this show, I've been here before,

but Doug Loves Movies is taping for the first time at Comedy on State in Madison, Wisconsin! Madison, Wisconsin! I love this club. I love all the people that come out to this club. And I hope you're enjoying one of the following beverages, the Doug Benson Specials. The Interruption is probably a good name

for any drink with whiskey in it. Because something's going to stop. Like behaving civilly. That's a pint of PBR and a shot of Jameson whiskey. It's called The Interruption. And then that's only $6. So that's price to move. And then we've got the Purple Haze for $5.50. and then that's only $6 so that's price to move and then

then we've got the purple haze for $5.50 that's the strawberry pina colada with rum and blue caracal caracal how do you say that and then this sounds crazy there's the bong water

of course because who doesn't want to drink some of that? Like, it makes me feel kind of sick just thinking about even drinking pretend bong water. But I hear it's a big seller. It's got tequila, ugh, triple sec, Midori, sour, Sierra Mist, and lime.

So that's why it looks so dirty. It's like dirty bong water. And then you can get the super high me, which is you make the bong water a jumbo, and it costs $30. It's a $23 markup from regular to jumbo. It's like worse than a movie theater. Should be the other way. For an extra quarter

you can get a jumbo. But so I'd like, if someone has does anybody have the jumbo? You do? Can you hold it up? Can I see how big it is? Holy shit. That was so magical the way light hit you

was like Excalibur coming up out of the rock or the lake or wherever Excalibur comes out of. Just a giant goblet of... And you get to keep it, right? Oh, sure. Yeah, you better.

You're walking out. What's under her sweater? she's pregnant she wasn't pregnant when she came in here yeah it was a great show time and space were changed it's only supposed to be 90 minutes don't panic it's not a 9 month show and 4 minutes It's only supposed to be 90 minutes. Don't panic. It's not a nine-month show. And four minutes.

That's how long I assume that guy that ordered the jumbo bomb water makes love. And that was probably generous. It's Sunday, August 11th, 2 Oceans 13. Let me see some name tags.

Name tags. Let me learn how to pronounce name tags. Okay, Vincent has a bottle with a... Is that a snake in it? Oh, it's a facehugger. Of course it is. The light was hitting it funny. It just looked snake-like,

but now it looks very face-hugger-like Vincent, we got Keith Vader is Vader really your last name? I wish you wish, yeah of course we all wish that was your last name but you got the Vader helmet whose body is my face on over there?

Dane Cook I look pretty good with his body I should try to make that happen I should try to try it out I look pretty good with his body. I should try to make that happen. I should try to try it out. Breakfast at Tiffany's. Your name's Tiffany? No, my name's Cassie. Cassie?

People really don't get the idea of a name tag. I'll put Doug Benson's face on Dane Cook's body, and that'll be my name tag. So your name is Dane? My name's Chuck. Chuck. Oh, and that's from Good Luck Chuck. Alright. Well, good luck indeed. I can promise you none of the guests are going to pick that.

Now when we got some Hulk hands up front that say Paul on them, the U's kind of covered up. It just looks like your name is Pal. That's what everybody calls me because they can't remember Paul. There's a lot of great ones, you guys. You've really outdone yourself.

I see a Steve Martin album cover and Adam's family. Is it regular or values? First one. That was good, but that second one, that baby pubert kills me. Little baby with a mustache that's impervious to being

killed. It's greatest character ever invented. Steven Las Vegas, I get it. Your name is Irving. Alright, thanks you guys for bringing all the name tags and for holding them up and rest your arms and we'll get back to that part of the show

in a little bit. Now it's time to watch This Not That. Number one movie in the country as we speak at the domestic box office this weekend is Elysium. Number two is We're the Millers. Elysium is a science fiction movie

from the director of District 9 and We're the Millers stars Jennifer Aniston as a strip District 9. And We're the Millers stars Jennifer Aniston as a strip... Okay. Watch We're the Millers, not Elysium. This has been Watch This, Not That.

Jennifer Aniston plays a stripper edition. That movie trumps everything right now. Even though I haven't gotten around to seeing it yet because I heard she doesn't, you know,

she just wears an outfit. She doesn't get naked. Yeah, and they show that in the TV commercials so I just watch TV. Tempe, Arizona. I'm going to be at the Tempe Improv on Tuesday and Wednesday. Why haven't you got your

tickets yet? What's wrong with you? How long ago did you get your tickets yet? What's wrong with you? How long ago did you get your tickets for the show, Mr. Vader? Two months. Two months ago. See what I'm talking about, Tempe? Two fucking months. What are you doing?

That's how it's done, son. That's why he's sitting right up front. Creep me out. What do you say we take a look at the prize bag, everybody? We got the novelization of Rambo First Blood Part II. It's pretty sweet. Also, for people who love reading,

the novelization of Predator. Was that based on a book? No, this is based on a screenplay. This book is based on a screenplay. Let's see, we've got... Oh, I could show you this. This is somebody brought the soundtrack on a CD format of Reality Bites.

Don't worry. Ethan Hawke is not here. I don't know if he survived the purge or not, but in my guest purge, he's not a survivor. He's not allowed on the show. If he wanted to come on, I'd probably have him on. It's fun to say

I don't want him. Because I think he makes bad choices. I don't think he's a bad actor. I just don't, I don't ever like anything that he's in. But I haven't seen The Purge yet, so I shouldn't judge yet. Also the soundtrack for White Man's Burden,

I don't know what that's like. Blues Traveler, Hootie and the Blowfish. Michelle Ndege Ocello. Remember that? I used to just get drunk and go outside and yell her name really loud and start a race riot. It's hard to pronounce Ndege.

Correctly. We got some shirts. It's hard to pronounce Ndegi correctly. We got some shirts. We got some more books. We got some... Oh, this was... They had this in my hotel room. It was some Chex Mix. Really, yeah. That stuff's good with bong water.

And, oh, there's one thing I'm excited about in here. I think I put two of them in there, but there's at least one. It's coupons for a free slice of pizza at Ian's down the street. Yeah, I've been fucking up some Ian's ever since I got here. I love it. Oh, and I've got to tear this open to show you guys.

This is kind of a cool T-shirt that I was given when I was at this really cool place in Portland that is called Ground Control. And it's a bar that just has tons of, you know, pinball machines and old-school video games. But it's like an adult bar. It's not like a fucking Dave and Buster's or something or worse yet Chuck E. Cheese

please give a big warm welcome to my guests here in Madison they are Jeff Tate, Willy Wonka and Graham Elwood Yeah, you guys heard right. Willy Wonka is here. Greetings. And this isn't a crazy new

Paul F. Tompkins character. This is a crazy old friend of mine who adopted the name Willy Wonka because why wouldn't you? When shopping for names? It was adopted for me. I mean, when you get a nickname that sticks like it's stuck for this long,

someone has to give it to you. Other people called you that first? Oh, for sure. You didn't call yourself that? No, no. And is it because... Why did they call you that initially? Oh, for sure. You didn't call yourself that? No, no. And is it because, why did they call you that initially?

Well, you know, Doug, back in the day, I used to have lots of treats and things and gross stuff. Well, why wouldn't they just call you Candyman? Because they're afraid if they say it three times

the monster will appear? Because my name's Willy. It just makes sense. Yeah, it does fit together nicely. Actually, to tell you the truth, the Ben Cottonmouth Kings, I think, coined that phrase. Because I would show up with all the goodies and they'd be like, hey, it does fit together nicely. Actually, to tell you the truth, Ben Codmouth Kings, I think, coined that phrase. Because I would show up with all the goodies and he'd be like,

hey, it's Willy Wonka. Or Method Man. Gotta love that guy. It could have been Method Man, too, to tell you the truth. Method Man, I know him. He does stuff like that. And our paths have crossed several times professionally because, you know, Graham and I were on a couple of the 311 cruises

as were you. You were on all of them? I were on a couple of the 311 cruises, as were you. It's true. You were on all of them? I was on all of them, but I found you when you were with the Marijuana Logs, Doug, up in Minneapolis. Oh, sure. No, we go way back. I'm just saying more recently, we've actually worked together. Oh, we do the 311 cruises. And that you're a killer DJ

that goes by the DJ name DJ Tricrome. It's true. Why wouldn't you go by just Willy Wonka? That's a pretty sweet DJ name. DJ Willy Wonka? I bet you lawsuits, is that why? Cease and desist? Oh, yes.

Yeah, yeah. Marijuana's not going to call him up and say, hey, you can't use Tricrom. It's true. Well, actually, it's two different things. Willy Wonka's showing up. He's got the treats. If you got Tricrom coming,

he's going to spin little Reggae 45s. It's two different things. Yeah you got trichrome coming, he's going to spin little reggae 45s. It's two different things. Yeah, got to have two different names. I got to come up with a name for myself when I do this podcast. You should. Yeah, I'll work on it. I think Doug knows some words. I got it. How about Doug Stanhope?

Doug loves hokers and pills and... Oh, sorry. Nobody loves hookers. Are you sure? Well, you're not allowed to. Are you sure? You know, relationships can...

You just never know where they're going to go. But DJ Tricrome brought man and woman sizes T-shirts. Whoever wins today will get one of each, which is always nice. You got to be, you know, you got to take care of the ladies, too, in these days. Yeah, that's right. Well, I just always throw a shirt in of some random size,

and then they can fucking fight it out. You know. But you also brought a CD called One Love that's, you know, what can people... It's a mix. I don't use any computers. I play reggae 45s. That's my specialty.

So that's an hour of just in the living room, push play, record, go, throw down reggae, little old school reggae 45s for an hour. And you do like personal appearances like people if they want to have like a napping party. If they want to get people together and just snooze, you come by and it's all reggae all the time.

I've only done one of those, but... Anybody having a sleepover? Aw, shit! Oh, I forgot. I also got some Gardettos at the hotel. Oh! Gardettos. At the hotel.

And I threw, of course, a couple of my CDs are in here. And Jeff Tate, first of all, Graham Elwood, everybody. Hi.

Brought a copy of his extremely popular book, Comedy Film Nerds. Comedy Film Nerd Guide to Movies, Doug did the foreword. It's available at comedyfilmnerds.com. I bet you no one that listens

knows that. They have no idea where to go for your shit. Oh, they don't? Well, fuck, they should go to grahamelwood.com. You know what I mean?

Like, if they're really... grahamelwood.com. Bane would never he would never can you imagine him saying dot com about anything? Go to theLeagueOfShadows.org It's a not-for-profit. Sign up for darkness. And don't forget to get on my mailing list

sign up for Darkness and get a free Darkness t-shirt Darkness is a thing though and Jeff Tate is here everybody finally back on the show Jazzy Jeff after hello everybody he appeared on the show in Jazzy Jeff. Hello, everybody.

You appeared on the show in Bloomington, Indiana. It must have been a couple years ago. I've been wanting to have you back ever since. You told us that you had a line in a motion picture where we're all very excited for you. Then you told us that that line was...

Girls, man. Now... It's more like, girls, man. Girls, man. Oh, I liked it better when you didn't make a noise first. Girls, man. So you're just... Girls, man. You're just robot that line?

I was playing a robot bartender. Girls, man. It's just a robot that line? I was playing a robot bartender. Yeah. Girls, man. It's the Daft Punk movie. I remember it being like, girls, man. Like, that's how you should do it. Girls, man. It was like, I filmed, I was in that two years ago. I don't remember.

I don't remember how it went. But I brought it up because I'm excited because people can finally maybe hear you say Girls Man if it didn't get cut from the film because it's opening like nationwide on September 13th

I don't know September 13th it comes out yeah that's what somebody told you like you sure that's just not like I don't know

someone tweeted it at me hey your movie comes out September 13th just September 13th I didn't even look to see if that was a Friday. I think it is. It is. It is. Hey, it's lining up. It might be right. Yeah.

We only, we filmed it two years ago. That's about how long it takes. What's it called? A Strange Brand of Happy. Okay. I play a bartender. Girls, man. I'm in a couple scenes. The guy comes in in complains about girls

man right and then and then I just you know I try to be that's what bartenders do man they're very supportive that way

they just repeat back you know whatever the topic is right I just wanted to get back oh I'm so hungover today oh hangovers man Doug

Doug did you go to the library or what's going on you got Rambo yeah Jeff brought as his gifts for the bag. Novelizations of Rambo and Predator. I feel kind of bad I'm giving them away today. I hope the winner will let me borrow them. You'll send it to them from the next city?

Yeah. I used to, when I was growing up, my parents wouldn't let me watch R-rated movies, but they would let me read the books. I did that from Stephen King. I did Stephen King. I could read the books, but I couldn't watch the movies. Yeah. So I brought those, too. I also, at home, I still have Gremlins 2, the new batch.

The book of that? I want to read that. Is Leonard Moulton in the book of that? Because he's in the movie. The first two Lethal Weapons. Lethal Weapon and Lethal Weapon 2. Yeah, books. I just got a great idea.

I'm just going to take one of these books and just sit there and read it aloud while watching the movie and record it and then send it to people and put it on the internet rather. I'm not going to send it to you individually. But then just put it out there. Listen to Doug Reed, The Predator

novelization while the movie plays. See how much of it matches up. See what kind of interesting take the author had on certain scenes. I bet they give backstory that's not in the movie at all. Yeah, it probably won't match up. It's not going to backstory that's not in the movie at all. Yeah. Yeah, it probably won't match up. It's not going to be

a dark side of the moon situation. Schwarzenegger has a kid he's missing. Oh, I got to get home to that half a cop. Was he in that movie? Half a cop.

So does Lead the Weapon 2, does it have the Joe Pesci character in the book? Yeah. But it's the PG-13. It's like, they screw you at the drive-thru.

No, no, it's still all the language. I'm not hearing other people say it. It's just in a book. You can read dirty words in a book. My parents did not. None of this shit made sense. Yeah, your parents did not. They were very religious. More people die

in the Bible than in Lethal Weapon. Straight up. Jesus is back in town, and this time he's pissed off. Right, right. A plane full of people blows up in Lethal Weapon. And the Bible. Moses! Look it up!

So, Jeff, goddammit, you always want everybody to Google everything. Jeff brought a copy of his CD called I Got Pot-tential. Why is your CD not called Girls, Man? Maybe the next one. Yeah, I don't know. Naming CDs, man.

I named it I Got Potential because that way it's harder for people to be like, hey, this fucking sucked. Because I'd be like, hey, I told you on the front. Right? The next one's going to be called Getting Closer. Almost there.

Ballparking it. And then posthumous Right? Flame out Well that's Speaking of flaming out It really doesn't have anything to do with what I'm about to say But you brought White Man's Burden The soundtrack

Yeah it's a very It's got Cracker on there, that's funny It doesn't have anything to do with what I'm about to say, but you brought White Man's Burden, the soundtrack. Yeah, it's a very... It's got Cracker on there. That's funny. Meat Puppets, Howard Shore, minus his all-nurse band. Yeah, Meat Puppets. I love the Meat Puppets. I smoked with a Meat Puppet once, that main one. That main Meat Puppet.

Yeah, that was a good time. Weiland was there. We should start a band called The Main Meat Puppet. Yeah, that was a good time. Weiland was there. He didn't smoke. Let's start a band called the Maine Meat Puppet. By start a band, do you mean I could be in a band with no ability to sing or play an instrument? Yes. That's a great one. You could be the hype man.

That's pretty awesome that anyone could start a band. I'm going to start a band, but I'm not going to. There's a couple of those bands. I'll just be the hype man. I'll just jump on. Yeah, the hype man. I'm going to start a band, but I'm not going to... There's a couple of those bands. I'll just be the hype man. I'll just jump on in. Yeah, the hype man. I'm going to start a band. It's going to be called the Whistling Banes.

Let's not start on ceremony. Usually someone has to mention whistling or bane to start that shit up. Now he's just bringing it. Ladies and gentlemen, the Whistling Banes. You were born in the darkness. Whatever. I fucked the lineup.

Nice. Two horrible things that go horribly together. We're a new band. You got Bane in my whistling. You got whistling in my Bane. Double suicide. And Jeff also brought a copy of Reality Bites soundtrack, which I

like that Lisa Loeb song. She's all cute with the glasses and she doesn't want him to leave. That's what it's called. All of that... Don't called So all of that Don't leave All of that Can be somebody's Today

For attending And bringing a name tag And just sitting there That is And watching Graham Win on your behalf That's a ridiculous Gift bag Doug

It's pretty good I'm pretty proud of this one I'm gonna throw in Two tickets to the Whistling Banes concert. Yeah! Oh, it's like two passes that you're allowed to...

You don't have to show up. It says right on there. You should throw away two tickets to the Whistling Banes. You'll be penalized if you show up. You should throw away two tickets to the Whistling Banes. I don't get it. That whistling thing you do sucks. What do you mean?

Oh, Jeffrey. You've made an egregious error. That's the error that girls in high school parties go, Graham, it was funny at first, but now it's annoying. Oh, now you think it's annoying? Yeah, 25 years later, it's a career. Girls, man! Can we get the microphone from the Pittsburgh show?

For Grant? Oh, someone's doing research! Doing a little Sam Levine on some categories. Don't do it. Don't do it. So, I like how you say the whistling sucks like I honestly think it's great. I'm like, hey, man. I went to Juilliard for this But I did

Look at me So Willie Before these two go all Marc Maron and Kumail Nanjiani on each other Say what? Have you gotten a chance to go out and see any movies lately? Or even watch one at home?

Yeah, I watched... What did I watch last? Say Anything last night, to tell you the truth. Can we go there? Can we go there right now? Yeah. We went 80s.

We went 80s. We went to the 80s town. They keep saying that this new movie that's the spectacular now is kind of like a modern say anything. Keep trying, man. You'll never do that again. There was a high heel telephone

in this movie. I mean, it was plugged into the wall. Remember those phones? What? Yeah, there was actually phones plugged into the wall. That was the only option you had. Someone called, you weren't home. You didn't get the message until you got home if you wanted to play it. That's it, dude. Yeah. I miss those days.

But Cusack was a badass because Lloyd had a long extension cord on the phones because he was able to get on the bathroom to talk to Diane. Oh yeah, it was very necessary to have that. Lloyd, Lloyd, all null and void. He's wicked. he's wicked. The guys from the gas and sip? Come on, gas and sip, you guys.

Let's go to the gas and sip. What about you, Doug? What's the last movie you saw? I saw the remake of Say Anything. It was called Joe Lies. Joe Lies. When he cries. He cries, yeah. That's not how it works

Willie you don't ask me what I've seen see I knew I was going to flip it on you okay Despicable Me 2 is the last movie I saw in the theater which one? Despicable Me 2 to tell you the truth because it costs an arm and a leg to go to movies these days I got a family what are you going to

even to take the girl out you're talking 50 bucks I hear you families Families, man. Shit. So, Despicable Me 2. Did you see it? I have not because I am not a child. Did anybody see Despicable Me 2 out here?

The parent of a child. You all better have kids. No. You don't have to have kids to see that. I like those little yellow pills. They seem like if you swallow them some shit's kids to see that. I'll see it on an airplane. I like those little yellow pills. They seem like... Yeah, they're funny. They're goofy. They seem like if you swallow them, some shit's gonna go down.

Right? They're like Newbern. That's from the 80s, too, man. I want to eat a million... a minion of them. I could just keep eating them until I've had a minion. Did you see Despicable Me 2? No.

Quit asking everybody questions, Willie. No. Just bring the candy and shut up. Got it. All right, ask me more. Did you... Let me ask everybody questions, Willie. No. Just bring the candy and shut up. Got it. All right, ask me more. Let me ask you this, Willie. Which of the two movies, based on your name, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,

or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which one do you prefer? Are you kidding me? Hands down, the first one. Of course. Are you kidding me? The second one, they didn't even pay the little people. They just made them happen.

They just got deep roy over and over again. Yeah, it was messed up. They should have paid the little people, a bunch of little people instead of made them out of a computer. We were just talking about that me and my lady today. You just saw Despicable Me 2. All that was made out of a computer. Well, it's different. This is from the 70s. Versus the 2000s, man.

I mean,les and oranges dude Alright Can I ask one question? The crowd Just one more Tell me Come on You guys in the crowd

Who loves the first Willy Wonka Better than the second one? Come on Hands down Yeah that was the one Where they were smart enough To name it Willy Wonka and the Chalk of Faction because he's what the show is.

Well, Gene Wilder, he's a genius in that movie, too. Gene Wilder's so fucking good. I don't know why... You're taking a lot of hard stances here, Willy. I don't care how crazy you are and how much you like eye makeup, I don't know why you would think you'd be able to do a Gene Wilder role better than he did

or even different enough to make it worthwhile. We're going to get a Johnny Depp is like, oh, the critics took down Lone Ranger? Is that what the problem with Lone Ranger was, Johnny? It was the critics? It wasn't that whole $200 million bag of shit with a 40 minute sequence about werewolves that you cut the fuck out because you were too

busy being a racist cocksucker? What? Good night! Yeah, get his mic. Get his mic. What? What? I thought we were talking about...

In Johnny's defense, being a racist cocksucker is time-consuming. Yeah, it is. So you stop paying attention to other things like script and character development. We haven't seen Kramer in a bunch of years. It clearly is a schedule filler. Oh, that...

Yeah. Hey. Enough people enjoyed that. Don't Pete Holmes on me. Let it breathe. I thought, uh, I actually had a good time watching Lone Ranger.

Wow. My whistling is goddamn God's voice compared to that. Like, you don't like my whistling and you... Can you see? What a lovely, lovely voice.

But I've heard from... I've heard from several people who I respect that they enjoyed The Lone Ranger. They're all dumb. They're stupid morons. They're dumb people who don't... No, no, no, no, no, no. There isn't...

They're dumb. They're dumb people. Somebody said to me they No, no, no, no, no. They're dumb. They're dumb people. Somebody said to me they liked Man of Steel. Okay, I didn't like it. I'll give them credit. Okay, you found some things in Man of Steel. You really were surprised by, oh, is he Jesus? Couldn't figure that out. The 500 where he's just flying around like this, fucking with his feet

like that, and a thorn or fucking crows or whatever. Good catch. Thorn of Thrones. Horn of Thones? Bone of thrones? Cut his mic. Anyway. Can I talk? Pull it. Hey, can I talk? Lone Ranger is horrible. Anyone who said they liked it is stupid. How can we possibly They're dumb. They're dumb. I will fight

all of you for this microphone. I will take this to my grave. People will die tonight. How can we possibly listen to anybody that doesn't have a little thing to put their watch left over in, too? Because I don't care. I'll give this watch to the people. If it breaks, I'll let them have it.

Because I am the League of Shadows. That's such a stoner thing to say. Like, what about the rest of the point you're watching to? What do you do with the rest of that? It sticks out like a fucking dinghy. It's driving me crazy. Oh, it's nuts. Bullshit.

It's been bugging me for two minutes. It's bullshit. It's bullshit. Let me flick it. Yeah. Was that your problem? Did Johnny Depp have something to put the rest of his watch into? That way he didn't like the movie? Yeah, that's what it was. It came down to the watch. It wasn't that he was like, oh, I'm 198th Indian,

so I'm gonna howl meum, talk him like I'm racist. Oh, yes, boss. Oh. I feel like yours is a little more racist. Oh, so that excuses... Might be a skosh more racist

than a guy pretending to be an Indian. God damn it. You guys are silly. I thought it was fun. I had a good time when I was watching it. I think that since a year ago the narrative has been

that this was a shitty movie so everyone has just said that forever and now it's just accepted that it's a shitty movie. No, I think that the people that went the first weekend didn't tell other people to go. You know what I mean?

Didn't get good word of mouth. I don't think the people saw all four Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Couldn't they figure that shit out? After ten minutes into the second one, oh, this is never going to be good again. They had one good one in them and now they're just

running it into the ground. It's horrible. Listen, they had those stand-ups. There doesn't have to be. You guys can disagree. It's fine. This isn't a debate program. I don't know if you figured it out. I'm not changing my stance on this. I'm not going to go, oh, good point,

Jeffrey. Jeffrey. free. Is there like a procedure or something that you could could you go under the knife to remove the ability to do that? Because I would pay for that. I would be happy to.

I have a knife. Remove all of his fingers. That's not a knife. I have a knife. I think you've needed to get my attention from very far away on several occasions, and you don't even use it then. You never use it for good. You only use it for evil. To prove how intractable your stance is. I've never heard you use it for your favorite sports team. Yes, I have.

I've hailed cabs with that. Oh, that is true. So suck it. Yeah. How many cabs do you think are lined up out front now? There's a hundred. They're like dogs. They got dogs here.

There's a bunch of cabs out front going, why are there so many calls from the bank? When does that yoga class get over? Oh, shit. That's actually true. Madison's kind of little like that. I don't know what's happening anymore. I saw

Two Guns the other day. Okay. The audience did not like that. They don't like the movie? You're talking about these? No. These guns? No, I'm not talking about that. I saw a movie called Two Guns.

That was fun. You like that? Yeah, it was fun. So you like everything. I go into a movie wanting to have a good time. I really like going to the movies and sitting in the theater. And it's the only time I fucking don't think about my phone or my fucking anything else. Like, I just watch a movie, and it's fun.

And Two Guns was fun. You get high first, though, right? No, I wasn't high for that. He doesn't. fun. You get high first though, right? No, I wasn't high for that. He doesn't. Whoa. Remember, he's post, not pre. Performance. Yeah.

But he doesn't have to perform when he's at the movies. No. How do you know? Unless it's Rocky Horror Picture Show. You don't do a little crowd work

when you're... I think I did pretty well during Breaking Away. That's right. He helped interrupt with Graham and did pretty well during Breaking Away. That's right. He helped interrupt with Graham and Jackie Cation in Breaking Away. Right, I remember. In Bloomington, Indiana.

Yes, Jeff. Sweet. Let's remember some other things we've done. That weird guy at the concierge desk at the hotel in Philadelphia. What did we do to him? We didn't do anything to him, but we just got high.

This guy fucking, look at this weird picture. And it was the fucking scariest thing. What was that picture he showed us? I don't remember, but it was a photocopy of a picture. Of just something horrible. It was so crazy,

I thought he knew we had just gotten high. We were like three blocks away before I remembered we were on like the 20th floor and he was in the lobby. He couldn't have known. Apparently he was just

showing everybody this weird picture that was leaving. Are you sure you didn't get high before the show? This show just feels like, yeah.

I like that you you were going to go see Elysium today but you got there after the point where the trailers would have started. Yeah. And you don't... I do the same thing. If I can't see the trailers first, I don't want to go. It's like one positive.

The trailers are always good. Well, yeah. Of course they are, but you still seem to be confused further down the line when you see the full movie you still enjoy. I saw the trailer for The Lone Ranger and went, that's going to be

a bag of shit. Oh, good for you, Graham. Yeah. Thank you. Let's let The Lone Ranger It's like he has magical powers or something. Yeah, yeah.

I knew it. Yeah, I think people thought that because then they didn't go, you know, but there's a big train crash. Whenever there's horses in a big train crash. Whenever there's horses in a fucking train, right?

Yeah. It's one of those ones like Wild Wild West where these crazy modern special effects make things happen that would not happen in the past or now. Like there's never a time when that crazy train wreck could happen. And an Indian man that's actually white could swing around on a rope and go through the window. I don't think a lot of what happens in Elysium is going to happen either. That's a good point. Yeah, that's called science fiction. Yeah. Hey, so was Lone Ranger. Oh, they just didn't sell it right if they called it science fiction. No wonder nobody went. Yeah, that's what the classic TV show was. They didn't act out the... Hey, let him act out the whole thing.

It's the old west. It's the old west. You started with the theme song, so I thought you were going to do the whole episode. Yeah, okay, I'll act it out. Do it, Kimo Sabe. They're not going to talk. They're going to communicate in whistles.

Was your grandpa actually the Lone Ranger? Because it's really like a personal thing. It is. I saw The Way way back. That's good, right? Yeah. It's fun. I loved it.

I know I've lost credibility. But I get lost credibility. But I get the distinction. Some movies are fun and some movies you actually love. Yeah, yeah. You really... Like, I will buy

The Way, Way Back. I will see it again and be like, I fucking loved it. I'm not going to tell anybody else to watch The Long Ranger. Are you going to get

that Way, Way Back and Paperback? Not an S.O. buddy. The Way, Way, Paperback? I'm an adult now, Graham. I can decide which movies I see on my own I don't need my parents to tell me which ones I'm only allowed to read the books of

but wouldn't you want to read the book on that and be like I want to see Allison Janney's character on paper no I'm going to write my own fan fiction about that later how she moves to Cincinnati right into my apartment building hello I would write how she moves to Cincinnati right into my apartment building hello

I would write a scene where that kid just finally just gives this right one inch from Steve Carell's face like just fuck you man it was great I loved that movie and I still like I can't figure out at what point in my life am I going to stop identifying

with fucking teenagers in movies? How old do I have to get before I'm like, I'm just like that kid. You totally identify with the shy kid who grows balls over a summer? Yeah! I'm still waiting. I keep hanging out in fucking water parks hoping some guy takes me under his wing.

Yeah. It'll be like a 19 year old that takes you under his wing. He comes out in his flip flops and Iyear-old that takes you under his wing. He just comes out in his flip-flops and I'm like, that's like Fonzie. Yeah.

Sam Rockwell and Maya Rudolph were a little long in the tooth to be working at a water park that's clearly only open in the summer. Like, what the fuck

do they do? No, he says it. He works, he barbacks. Oh, barbacks. He says something. There's a scene on top of his apartment. He's great in that film.

The fucking whole movie was great. It's no meatballs, though. No. Leonard Maltin loves The Way, Way Back and gave meatballs like two stars and called it garbage. Way, Way Back wouldn't exist without meatballs. That's absolutely true. They invented the technology

to shoot coming-of-age movies. Yeah, they did. I thought of this. I thought of this yesterday. Why don't they just put a big screen thing over the movie screen that makes everything in 3D so I don't have to wear glasses? It's just about that lens.

It's just about the lens that goes over your eye. Why don't you just put the lens over the screen? Everything was going so great. You liked Way, Way Back. It was like Jeff Tate's Back in the Fold and then you come up with that goddamn nonsense. That's a good idea. No, it's not!

It's horrible! Yeah, some theaters, Jeff, are going to close just because they can't afford to switch their projectors from old school to digital and all movies are going to be all digital all the time very soon. So I don't think they'd also want to spend the money on a giant magic screen

to place over the existing screen. But what if you just took a whole bunch of old 3D glasses, popped the lenses out, and glued them together? That's the best idea anyone's ever had. Now that's really smart. Yeah, repurpose. What if we went and got a bunch of old radios and built a robot guy,

and we could play football with him in our backyard. It's like, that would be awesome. Finally, my show. My show finally... What the fuck is he talking about? I finally have my own Carl Pilkington right here. What the hell? Who's that?

Hey, don't worry about it. He doesn't know who you are either. The back of my head hurts from smiling. You guys know when they get that feeling back here where it just hurts because you've just been smiling for like 40 minutes straight. Yeah, it's like when I listen to a few hours of reggae, I get that way.

Easy, man. That's how I felt during Lone Ranger, buddy. Boy, if Lone Ranger would have had some special screen in front of it It would have made it a lot better They would have cut out all the eye dicks from the old glasses And made a sheet and we could have watched it together I'm sorry, that was a little Libby from the Todd Glass show Dude, are you okay, Graham? Yeah, I'm sorry, that was a little Libby from the Todd Glass show. Dude, are you okay, Graham? Yeah, I'm great.

All right, guys. Need a drink? Now's the part of the show where I say, let the games begin. Show us your name tags, Madison. There's all the name tags. Gentlemen, go pick who you want to play for. Stop yelling at me, Vader. Stop yelling.

And we'll be right back. And we're back. Who are you playing for, Graham? Snakes on a bane. Hold that up over here. It's a drawing of Snake Plissken on the back of bane. This is genius. God bless you and your family.

I gotta say, the number of name tags here was awesome. Madison, you guys did an amazing job. I love it when it's hard to pick. Someone had a fucking whole tray of cupcakes. I almost did that one. Who are you playing for, Willie? I'm playing for this.

It's Shark Week, baby. Shark-a-tay-o. Shark-a-tay-o. And so the person... Shark-tay-o? Shark a-tay-o. And so the person... Shark-tay-o? Shark-tay-o. Shark-cay-to. Really? Kate-o? Oh, Kate. Her name's Kate.

I love that these are little puzzles that are difficult. You see how I'm hiding behind it? Shark-cay-to. I get it. Yes. Alright. Let me get a picture of it. I already got a picture of that. Let me see yours, Jeff. What are you playing for? You've got a palm strike bandana

from back in the day when that used to be an option. Yeah, palm strike. And whose name is on it? Harry. Harry Palm Strike. He gave me a drink. Oh, that's certainly the way to get you to...

Nice. Can we get another vodka and soda up here from Mr. Wonka? That's a kettle. He's got knocked over. A kettle and soda. That's a kettle soda. Thank you, Doug. Appreciate that, man.

Doug, the person on the back wrote a letter about this. I won't read the shithead, but I think I need to read this letter. Okay. It says, Dear Leonard Maltin Game Contestant. Finally, Graham Elwood's going to get schooled on how this game works. Thank you and congratulations for selecting my name tag. This needs to be on the back of every one of these from now on. I'm sure you will perform valiantly and will most assuredly be victorious.

However, in the unlikely event that you fail me miserably, Doug will be offering a consolation prize at the end of the show. As such, I have listed a name below that he will read. Be advised, all caps. As such, I have listed a name below that he will read. Be advised. All caps. Do not read this name aloud during the show as it will let the proverbial cat out of the bag. Cheers, Scott.

Can I see that for a second? And then, it's one of the weirdest shitheads I've ever seen. It's a solid shithead. Duh. Michael Cera beginning to look like Beck is a shithead? Doug, you're not supposed to fucking read it! I'm not supposed to read it! You idiot! What did I do?

You moron! Fucking glad you did that, Doug. I just read it! It just says contestant, not host. Hosts can read whatever they want. I know you did that because you think Graham's going to win I also did that because that was a fun choice

after they went to all that effort to stop that from happening this is so this is so great like I I agree I accept this sir and I will defend your name tag

to the death. Thank you and congratulations. That's so awesome. Are we still talking about that letter on the back of the thing? Yeah, he is. I've been holding this for a while. Kevin Vader didn't get selected,

but this, I didn't notice when I was looking at the name tags earlier, this is a fucking pinata made out of Darth Vader head That's dope We're going to smash that at the end of the show right? We are I was going to say right now

It's got candy in it that I want to distribute to the audience now So we might as well What are you going to use? So I'm thinking maybe I'll throw it out there and you just kick it We all know that on the inside of this We're going to kick it? We all know that on the inside of this is just Luke's face. We're going to kick it? Luke's face is on the inside when he's smashing open. Hang on, he's the palm strike guy.

Yeah, he's going to palm strike it, I guess. Put it around his head. Watch yourselves over there. This is going to go bad. Hey-yoo! Yah! That was fucking awesome. That's Graham Elwood, everybody.

Palm Strike Master 5000. I knew that was gonna be really violent. I'm so sorry. Did I spill my drink all over you guys? I was mine, be really violent. I'm sorry. Did I spill my drink all over you guys? I was mine. Kevin Vader knows the risks involved in being Kevin Vader. Watch your heads and eyes, everybody.

This is very Halloween-ish. Oh, peanut M&M's. I'm holding out of those. Wait a minute. What are we distributing? Did you look in there? It's the movie Blackfish, and you guys are all Shamu. I work at a... So please don't enjoy this candy, and then kill me.

How do we know that candy's not laced with razor blades? We don't. It was brought here by one of the most evil villains of all time in his own head. So... I work at a liquor store and today somebody was

filling a piñata and they came in for a bunch of shots, like a little, you know, the little shots you get on an airplane. They were going to fill their piñata with those. Holy shit, what are the odds two people filled pi pinatas today? Strange. In Madison.

In Madison. In Madison. A lot of quinceaneras. That's Trixie's, by the way. If you guys are in Madison, Trixie's. Hit up Trixie's over there on the east side. Boy, they got some good beer over there, y'all. Now Darth Vader

looks like Ray Liotta in Hannibal. Pass the Chianti. Is that Woody Allen? Pass the Chianti. I love five of these and Chianti. Doug, that was kind of creepy. All right, so most of the people here have candy. And Kevin Vader's very happy. Is everybody having a good time tonight? Make a little bit of noise for Doug Benson

in Madison, Wisconsin. That's what's up, man. We love you, Doug. You cannot drop the hype man thing. You're always hyping something. Too late, too late. You're always hyping some shit. Hey, liquor stores, y'all.

Don't forget they're available. Do you do this reggae DJing stuff at strip clubs? No. Is that where that voice comes from? Dude, don't ever DJ at a strip club. It's not good. No, really? Yeah, there's a strange lack of focus on the DJ.

There's this weird disinterest that occurs. I've done that. I've DJed at a strip club before. For a couple months I did. Do you want to give us a taste? No. It's just like that, only I had a different hat. Did you just talk in your regular voice?

Did you go, hey, I'm going to let you work for Tips and Tips a while? No, regular voice. No way. Yeah, I'd just be like, here we go, Harmony. Girls, man. Here we go, Portia. All right. One girl turned around and yelled,

I ain't dancing to that country shit. I was like, fuck it. It was like Fleetwood Mac or something. I didn't know what I was doing. Oh, my God. That's so right. Oh, here comes some Jackson Brown For you guys to get naked to Yeah yeah Run it on empty

I'm gonna Run it on empty Run wild Run it on wild Yeah I guess singing's better than whistling I could whistle running on empty if you'd like. No, you got stuff in your hands.

Alright. You got too much to hang on to right now. And we're going to start off this round of games with a game that I like to call ABCD's Nuts! Yeah! Today, since we're at the Comedy On State Comedy Club, we are going to spell comedy

on state. We're going to start with the letter C, and we'll start with Graham, then we'll go to Jeff, and then we'll go to Willie, because Willie might not know what's happening. Where am I right now? I feel like I'm actually in an abduction table from the aliens under these lights.

Shh. Don't worry. Welcome to show business. It's how I feel every night. I'm going to get abducted and probed by this audience. Your letter, Graham, that we're starting off with is the letter C, and you have to name any movie that begins with the letter C.

That would be an example of a movie that begins with the letter C. And I went with Chain Reaction, because it was shot, at least in part, here in Wisconsin. Jeff, what would you like to do with the letter O? A movie that begins with O. On Golden Pond.

Oh! Very good. And Willie, if you match me, I've written down a movie ahead of time. If you match me, you will automatically win the game. I will? If you match me. No, not just you.

I mean, if Graham matches me. In this case, he said On Golden Pond, and I actually wrote down on the waterfront. We both picked on movies. Yeah, and I picked on the waterfront because I think there's one nearby here. A city near water. I can tell from the bugs.

Okay, and Willie, you get the letter M, so name any movie that begins with the letter M. I'm thinking of Memento, of course, because I'm messed up. That's not messed up. That's a classic Memento. Yes, it is. I went with Major League because it was shot in Wisconsin. At Old County Stadium. Nice.

They took out Bernie Brewer for that. What else was shot here? Stadium. They took out Bernie Brewer for that. Oh, you know what else was shot here was the Triple L and B. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Alright. So Graham's letter is E. Everybody's all American. Okay. I went with Escape from New York

because believe it or not, according to Wikipedia, some of it was filmed in Missouri. And I'm going to be at the Kansas City Alamo Drafthouse cinemas on August 17th and 18th.

I couldn't find any E movies that were filmed in Wisconsin. So now we go to the letter D in Jeff. Drive. Yeah, good one. Good call. And

what are you talking about over there? What's going on over there? If you have something to say, say it into your microphone. Don't worry about it, Monk. Okay. You guys are chatting. You know what I'm talking about? I ended up with Y, Doug. That's what I'm talking about, man. You may not. Oh, good.

Because I don't want to talk about Barbra Streisand or something. There's more Y words than yentl. The young ones? That begins with a T. D is Jeff's letter. Oh, you said drive.

He said drive. I said drive. I got interrupted before I said the next part with all that nonsense that was going on over there that I don't appreciate. I went with Drinking Buddies, which is available on Video On Demand now. I haven't seen it yet,

but I've heard good things. Yes, you do get why. And you could have said yentl. I mean, I can say yentl, but do I want to? It's not like you're endorsing something. You're remembering that it starts with Y. Yeah, that's it.

That's it. We're not Yentl. You don't ever spin any Yentl covers at your reggae parties? No, man. No, man. Papa, can you hear me? Papa, can you hear me? Papa, can you feel me?

Papa, can you smoke the ganja with me? Does she actually say, Papa, can you feel me? That seems like an entirely different movie that doesn't have whistling in it. Dude, I can't believe I ended up with Y. I mean, what did you have for Y? What do you mean you can't believe it? There's thousands of titles.

What did you have written down? Only 26 letters in the alphabet. You have to guess first. Or Pat, you can't believe it? There's thousands of titles. What did you have written down? You have to guess first. You can't think of one? I'm saying Yentl. Oh, okay. Graham? You said Yentl? Well, you have to leave now and go watch it.

Okay, thank you guys. Appreciate it. I play at the Alphamay every Thursday. Should have sent a better movie. Yeah, we're sending you to a desert island with Yentl. Oh my God, Yentl's this dude's favorite movie. What a nerd. I ripped my shirt off.

I got a Yentl shirt on. You got a Yentl tat on that sleeve somewhere. I got it covered up. I went with Young Guns 2. Oh, shit. That would have been a better movie to have to watch for eternity. Because that was filmed in

Arizona and I'm going to be in Tempe on Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesday and Wednesday. Oh, what's the next letter, Graham? Oscar. Sylvester Stallone. Classic. Didn't win any. What?

But was named Oscar. He's so good in it. I went with something called Outlander that stars your favorite Graham, Jim Caviezel. You love Jim Caviezel. And it was filmed in Washington State where I'm going to be at Bumbershoot

on Labor Day weekend. Yeah, it's a fun festival. Jeff, your letters N. National Lampoon's Vacation. Because some of it was in Arizona. And Doug is going to be in Tempe. When am I going to be there? Later this week, right?

Yeah, Tuesday and Wednesday. Yeah, Tuesday and Wednesday. Yeah. Over 400 tickets are still available. That's spread out over two days. Don't get cocky. It's a 400-seat room and that's over two days.

There's still 400 seats remaining. But that means 400 seats have been sold. No, it means that I was lying. It probably hasn't even been that many sold. But it's, you know, it'll still be fun. I'm excited to go back there. I'm a room is half full kind of guy.

I'm sure that's most of your shows, but at my shows... N, what's your N? National Lippun's Vegas. Oh, that's right. Hey. You know what keeps fucking me up is you guys always have shit to say

when I'm supposed to say my next thing. And so I just completely go backwards. I was hoping that I nailed it. No, you didn't. But that was a good guess. What if I said that? Because it did begin with N. Yeah.

I went with Now You See Me because I'm going to be interrupting that at CineFamily in Los Angeles on Monday, August 19th, I think it is. S, Willie. What's an S movie? I'm going with Superbad, Doug. So close.

I went with Super Size Me. Oh, shit. How can I not do that? Because it was shot in Wisconsin? Wikipedia says that, yeah. Part of it. Which part? The McDonald's part.

Oh, they only have McDonald's here? That's right. They went to Appleton to go to the Houdini Museum. T is the next letter. The Terminator. Okay. Seems like kind of a waste

to use the the movie, but... Two Ts, bitch bitch I went with Bonus points I went with Transformers Dark of the Moon Which was shot partially in Wisconsin Milwaukee according to Kevin Vader And I will be performing at the moon.

Is that that club where everybody pulls their pants down? Yes. Hey, Jeff. Armageddon. Good, eh? I went with American Movie, which was shot entirely in Wisconsin if you've never seen it

it's one of the funniest movies ever American Movie yeah T is goes to oh Transformers 2 it was shot here

in Wisconsin oh no I'm sorry I'm going with True Romance Doug oh that's a good one yeah True Romance yeah I went with

The World's End directed by my buddy Edgar Wright. What a waste to use the word duh. That opens August 23rd.

One more letter. E. I'll go Easy Money because Rodney Dangerman was in Back to School that was shot here on Saturday. I was shot here in Madison.

Thank you. That's what I was going to say. Triple Lindy. The Triple Lindy was done right here on campus, y'all. That's right. I went with Evil Dead.

The most recent one that does not have a the on it and it's going to be playing. I'm going to interrupt it at midnight at CineFamily in Los Angeles on August 23rd this has been ABCD's Nuts, no winner

for all winners we all winners I would have got chain reaction I saw that the day it came out it was on my birthday I like to see came out It was on my birthday I like to see movies that come out on my birthday That movie came out on my birthday

Bloodwork came out on my birthday So you've had real bad luck in that department My birthday's in August, man It's usually garbage Too bad Sixth Sense didn't open on your birthday I know, it was my birthday It was the 4th of July I'd have all kinds of good ones

Oh, you'd see a Will Smith movie every year I do Let's play How Much Did This Shit Make What are we doing on time? Oh shit, we're behind it Let's do this fast, you guys. No fucking around. This is where you're each going to guess,

and we'll let Willie go last, because that's the power spot. I like that. We'll start with Graham. You each get to guess how much a movie I'm going to name made at the domestic box office during its entire run. How much money did it make? I wrote it down really small on here.

I want to make sure I got it right. Okay, and the film we're going to be talking about is the aforementioned Willy Wonka debacle called Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. How much fucking money did these people that were smart enough somehow to avoid Lone Ranger, but threw their money at this movie,

how much did it make, Graham? Oh, man. I'll say... I'll say I'll say 175 million. Okay. Jeff, what do you think? One dude. Alright. One lone

clapper back there. What are they all supposed to applaud? A number that may or may not be right? A hundred million. Oh, fuck you assholes! Fuck you right in your buttholes! You weird beard-having sons of bitches!

That's how you answer a question, Grant. Can I say one dollar? Yes! That is an option for you, yes. I'm going for one dollar, Doug. Okay. I don't option for you, yes. I'm going for $1, Doug. Okay. I don't recommend it, but okay.

A ticket costs $10. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's like $15.50. Go with some bargain matinee Just go six bucks Just to play it safe, Jeff Six dollars Johnny Depp's mom Johnny got in free

Can you do that If you're in the movies? What? I'm in the show I'm on the show Can I get You know I've tried it I'm the girl I'm in the show. I'm on the show. You know, it's...

I've tried it. I'm the girl's man guy. Refill my popcorn, bitch. I apologize for my language. Here's six dollars. That's how the whole thing will go. It's almost like you guys aren't even curious to know how much it made.

You don't get a cent. Graham is our winner because it made. You don't get a shit. Graham is our winner because it made $206.4 million. Oh, now you're clapping, assholes? All right, let's play the Leonard Maltin game. Thank God. It's about time.

Let's do it. Graham gets to go first. Then we'll let Willie step up to the plate. Let's breathe it out. And then Mr. Jeff Tate. What did you say to me, Willie, when I told you Jeff Tate was going to be on the show with you? I said, holy shit, is that the singer from Queensryche?

Yes. Bust out one of their tunes, dude. I loved you guys back in the day. I haven't done any of my warm-ups. I had all your records. I'm not even kidding. I have five octave range. What was that one that was a big hit?

Silent Lucidity? Yeah, no, they did a whole, they did like a concept album, which that's why I like that. Oh, you're the expert. I'm sitting right here, dude. You know how DJing reggae songs is fucking... What you have to do is one and then the other. Look, I'm being this guy now. I'm pretending I'm a DJ.

That's fucking funny, dude. You really figured out how DJing works. One and then another. I have a mix CD, too. If you guys don't meet me in my car, I got one I made for the drive. It's not all reggae. You want to trade?

No. Hey, come on, dude. You don't have to be an asshole all the time. I'm just trying to start a fight like grade school. No way, dude! Then I push him into a fight, fight, fight, fight, fight! You get to pick a category, Graham.

As suggested by Matt Picasso. Yeah, THE Matt Picasso. Please tell me his avatar is like Gornika or something like that. Like it's one of Picasso's painters. No, it's actually The Scream by Edvard Munch. Also, I have no idea what his avatar is. Because I'm not looking at it.

He suggested Yeti or not, here I come. And that's movies with the Sasquatch in them. I know you love that category, Graham. Mrs. Underscore Matman, M-A-T-T, man, suggested inconceivable. And that's movies that have infertile women in them. It just needs to have the one. It just needs to have the one. Or, pop culture twit suggested,

not without my daughter. And that, of course, is Woody Allen movies from after 1992. That's funny. All right. I will go with the Sasquatch one. Oh, shit. A lot of disappointment in the room, Graham. funny. Alright, I will go with the Sasquatch one. A lot of disappointment in the room, Graham. I play to win, bitches.

You are tough. Jokey showbiz time is over. Now it's time to fucking rack up some points. Hi. Thank you and congratulations. Hi there.

Two stars from Leonard Maltin. When did this come out? That's the next thing I say. 1972. 72. 72? 72. Yeah? 72. Yeah, 72.

Everyone's already just going, what the fuck? Leonard says this movie is a docudrama. He also says that it was a huge success. And he also says that it inspired many

similar films. Yeah. And he lists says that it inspired many similar films. Yeah. And he lists five names. The category, of course, is Sasquatch. Who's not a Yeti, right? Those are two different dudes. Just different names. Depends on who you're talking to. Oh, really? It are two different dudes. It's just different names. It depends on who you're talking to.

Oh, really? It's like one's a snow Squatch and the other's regular? Yeah, Yeti's up in the Asian... They have white hair. Yetis. Right? Not necessarily.

Okay. I don't know. Everyone I've seen. Yeah, all the Yetis I've met. All right, I'm going to go five names. That wasn't me that said that. He's taken all the names. He's taken all the names, Jeff.

Who did I say I was going to go to next? Willie? Okay, Willie. You're probably smartest bid would be four names. Can I just name the film? No. Damn it. You got a bid.

Okay. Then give me four. I'm going in four then. Might as well, right? Right. Sure, Jeff. Fuck. Fucking Willie just wants to name it.

I know. Which means I should say less But I don't You don't what? You don't like to give away what your thought process is? Great poker player Like any smart player would do? Very secret

I say name it To Willie? Okay Willie You get four names And then you're going to tell me the name of the movie, which you think you already know, but we'll see if the names change your mind. Buddy Crabtree was in this movie.

Buddy! Of course, they couldn't do a movie without Jeff Crabtree. Oh! The Crabtree brothers? No, it's different than the Zucker brothers. Oh, okay. And John W. Gates. Oh, that's Bill's nephew. And John W. Gates. Oh, that's Bill's nephew.

And John P. Nixon. John P. Nixon. The Abominable Snowman. That's really what you're saying in the Sasquatch category? Yes. Don't you want to try something else like

Anaconda or Orca? Nope. How many other things can you name that are not a Sasquatch? Jaws. Starqueen. or Orca? Nope. How many other things can you name that are not a Sasquatch? Jaws. Sharkly. Sharkato.

Woo! Did you put my name on here? Hey, girl, why can't my name be on here? How would she know you were going to be here? The guests are a surprise. That's why. I'm just messing with you, Doug. The final name was Willie E. Smith.

E? Yeah. Like Wild E. Coyote? The cramp trees and middle initials came out for this one. And the motion picture is called The Legend of Boggy Creek. Holy shit. Wow. Aren't you from there? Yeah, I grew up just outside of Boggy Creek. Holy shit. Wow. Aren't you from there?

Yeah, I grew up just outside of Boggy Creek. It was followed by The Return to Boggy Creek. Sounds like you've done that. Have you gone back to visit? And The Barbaric Beast of Boggy Creek, part one, which is actually the third part in the series. And little known fact,

there was slated to do a fourth movie, Boggy Creek Goes to College, but they... Was it done in Madison? Yeah, the funding ran out. That's fucking weird. They ran out of money when they couldn't teach

a Yeti how to do Triple Lindy. Yeah. And the Cramtree brothers were asking for too much money at that point, so it's like the whole thing went to shit.

They got too big for their britches, I heard. All right, well,'s like the whole thing went to shit. They got too big for their britches, I heard. Alright, well this is the moment where I officially erase the Sasquatch category from the app. You guys will never hear from it again, just like Sasquatch himself.

And Jeff Tate is on the board. That's bullshit, too. Thanks for picking that category, Graham. Sorry, I thought I was gonna to get some shit that I could pick. I got bad news for you, Willie. Because Graham gets to pick the next category. Okay. Actually, I feel better about the second choice.

Oh, it's going to be a whole new set of categories. I'm feeling it, though. Okay. And... But this time we'll go Jeff to... Jeff will be second after Graham, so you're going to be in the third position. I like that.

Willie. And your options, Graham, are... Kyle Conkwright suggested Joe Mama, and that's movies with either Joe or Mama in the title. A favorite category of mine since it's been introduced on the show, Golden Showers Playbook. What? Which is movies that begin

with P. The letter, not someone doing it. And this isn't the end and that's movies where there's a scene after all the credits have unspewled. The end of the movie. I'll do this as at the end.

Okay. Oh, son of a bitch. Wow, you guys are just plucking out the 70s this time. This one's from 1979. Three stars from Leonard. He calls the movie enjoyable and he also says that it's got um oh it's got irresistible characters

yeah this movie that has a scene after the credits three stars 79 and uh Moulton lists seven names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Graham? Playing for snakes on a bane? I'll go... I'll go six. Six, he says. He shaved one off there, Jeff. What are you going to do? Somebody got an alert on their phone in the audience. The Amber Alert.

You're very easily distracted. I am. I'll go five. He says five names. It's not you, Willie. Go either four, name it, say name it. No, I'm going four, dude. You know, I learned my lesson.

Okay. Yeah, it sounds like it. How about this lesson? Name it. Sounds like it. How about this lesson? Name it. That's a hard lesson.

Denzel Washington, 87. Hard lessons. What do you say? I said I don't know. There was a movie called Hard Lessons? Yeah, Denzel Washington, 87. Does anybody think that's true? No.

There's only two Denzel Washington movies on Netflix right now. That's one of them. The other one is The Mighty Quinn. Now I believe you. You read the book. This guy just said you read the book on that. It's in the bag right there to give away. I'm looking this shit up right now.

Hard lessons? Yeah. Oh, this is good. Here's how you sell the fake titles when you're playing this. When I do Build a Tile, you go hard lessons and then list a bunch of things and then list the plot. He's like a school principal. Here's what Leonard Maltin says about hard lessons. No results.

Oh, wow. I guess Leonard just doesn't get it. Now I'm going to IMDB because IMDB. And I'm going to type in hard lessons. Oh, so it's for TV?

Yeah. Oh, TV movie, friend. Doesn't count. That does not fucking count for shit. Is Denzel Washington in it? Yes. It's on Netflix. That's all I knew was that it was on Netflix.

Okay. You know, I don't know. I thought it was a movie, because it was like a hard movie. I'm not here for your fucking excuses. First of all, it's not called Hard Lessons. It's called The George McKenna Story. So close. And it was from 1986, so swing, swing, miss, miss, miss, swing, miss.

You get three strikes before you're out, and Denzel Washington is in it. Fuck it. 0-2, home run. The guy went outside plate, just caught it, 0-2, home run. The guy went outside plate, just caught it, boom. Oh, wait a second, though. The movie was made as the George McKenna story, but then for Netflix and the like,

probably, they made a new poster and called it Hard Lessons. Oh, snap. Oh, snap. Oh, Jeff Tate. I mean, I think that's what happened. I go negative one name.

That's what I'm discerning. That's so Washington. Hard Lessons. All right, so... Willy Wonka has to name it in four names. That's where we're at with regards to that Wait a minute And the category was This Isn't the End This is a movie that has a scene after the credits

1979, three stars And your four names Are Austin Pendleton Charles Durning Rest in peace Dave Goels G-O-E-L-Z I always don't know how to pronounce that name But I guess it's Goels. G-O-E-L-Z.

I always don't know how to pronounce that name, but I guess it's Goels. And then Richard Hunt. Which I understand why he goes with Richard rather than Dick. All I have to go off is if it had a little extra at the end and some scenes that I missed. And also all four of those names

were involved in this movie. And also the year it came out. It's enjoyable. Don't think of it as you're losing. Think of it as you're learning. A hard lesson. Boo! The story of Willy Wonka.

I believe that was Laser Eckers. 79. Dude, I mean, where do I go from here? I believe that was Laser Eckers. 79. I'm going... Dude, I don't... I mean... Where do I go from here? I don't know

what you're going to do. How much time do I have? You have until the end of business tomorrow. I'll be hanging out here at the bank all day waiting for your answer. There's a line of cabs.

Okay, here's my guess. Staying alive. Do you want to say it at the same time? That's a terrific guess because that movie was enjoyable. It had irresistible characters. And it had two guys, Richard Hunt and Dave Goels, and then

more guys that are commonly associated with a certain group of puppets. Jerry Nelson, Frank Oz, and Jim Henson. Oh, Muppets. And the movie's called, no, actually, The Muppet Movie. Son of a bitch. I love that movie. I just watched it like last week. And after the credits, Animal comes out and yells at you to go home.

Women! I think he says go home. Go home! I think he says girls, man. I think he says women. Girls, man! Why are there so many songs about rainbows

and what's on the other side? All right, I'm getting rid of the this is the end category now, too. Permanently retired from the... I can hear you losing fans as this goes on. People probably think you whistle all the time on your podcast. They're never going to listen to it.

It's just film discussion. Graham, I just gained all of your fans that are leaving you right now. Because I don't whistle. You know how many people tell me to whistle on Twitter? A lot. None of them are here tonight. But how many of those are here right now? All right.

So that means Graham's also on the board. We've got a two-way tie Willie's got some work to do Shit Graham challenged Willie so Jeff gets to pick category and then we'll go to Graham Might not even come around to you, Willie

You might be done for the day I knew that before I got here so I might not even come around to you, Willie. You might be done for the day. I knew that before I got here. Arrive finished. That actually is starring Denzel Washington. Arrive finished. And it was filmed in Madison. Yeah, it's filmed in Madison and it's on Hulu Plus.

At my house. It's about a model train maker. Yeah. Who has special powers from his moccasins. Has Denzel ever had powers in a movie? I don't think so. Yeah, Carbon Copy

with George Scull. No, Deja Vu. Yeah, Deja Vu. What was his power in the movie? Deja Vu was he could see a little bit into the future or something or go a little bit

into the past. It was one of those two. That movie was terrible, right? Yeah, it was okay. Oh, hang on, dude. Boo. Thank you and congratulations for selecting my name.

That wasn't one of my favorite Denzel, Tony Scott collabos. No, no. I liked Man on Fire. That's good. Yeah, he had a special power in that. Fucking taking dudes out. He was an artist.

His special power was that he had a small white child that hung out with him. Death was, killing was his art and he was about to paint his masterpiece. Christopher Walken's got that line. It's awesome. Fuck yeah, killing was his art and he was about to paint his masterpiece. Oh, Christopher Walken's got that line,

it's awesome. Oh, fuck yeah, he fucking kills everybody in that movie. That movie's a reckoning for an hour and 20 minutes.

The first 40 is a little slow. But the next 120 is a reckoning. I don't like it when they make a movie where they have to

convince you that they like, like in Taken for 30 minutes they're like, here's why he loves his daughter. You just have to say that's his daughter and then you they're not getting oh he's

gonna try to save her i don't have to i don't have to be convinced that they have a relationship you think if they don't spend 40 minutes making sure you know denzel likes that eight-year-old girl that adorable eight-year-old girl you'd be eight-year-old girl, you'd be like, why are you trying to save her? They got that idea from Hook is the same way. It's 40 minutes of what a shitty dad Robin Williams is. Rufio! Rufio! Rufio! Rufio!

That's right! Yeah, and then you don't even do it right. Listen, you have heard... Two of those and then one Rufio! Can I... I've been waiting to say this for a while on this podcast you have heard all the movies I enjoy

I fucking hate Hook that movie sucks that movie's fucking terrible finally Jeff Tate has redeemed himself and I like Lone Ranger and Hook isn't good you were 11 that's why you like it Jeff Tate has redeemed himself. And I like Lone Ranger. That's messed up.

And Hook isn't good. You were 11. That's why you like it. Stop pretending it's anything more than you were 11 when you saw it. I wasn't. Which category would you like to play? I don't have any idea. We've got four minutes.

Which category, Jeff, would you like? Would you like at, stew, Jeff, would you like? I like at stew through and through, which I refuse to spell because it's a ridiculous Twitter name. But the throughs are spelled T-H-R-U. And he uses and instead of an ampersand because you can't have an ampersand in a Twitter name.

I tried it when I signed up and I wanted to be Will and Grace. Stu suggested Pacific Rimshot. And that's comedies that have robots in them. Yeah, and then Toys for Twats suggested Flock of Seagulls, which is movies with Jason Segel, Steven Seagal, or both. And celebrating a birthday today,

a great actress who's very good on the program we, many of us know and love called Breaking Bad. It's Mrs. Walter White's birthday, Anna Gunn. Anna Gunn is celebrating a birthday. She's been in a couple of movies, but I can't even picture her in those movies because I didn't really discover her personally until Breaking Bad.

And of course Deadwood. Good call. Which is not a movie. That's true. But I love Deadwood. And don't yell shit out ever again I liked how quickly he did that Deadwood if I go Deadwood

they'll throw me out but it was very polite how quickly I yelled it or he's asking for another specialty cocktail Can we get a couple of Deadwoods up here? Deadwood is straight whiskey Until you try to go to bed And fuck I've been drinking Deadwood all night

Do you get it? Yeah Are you kidding me? Can you even Do you guys get it? Do you guys get it? Can you even think of a A motion picture

That Anna Gunn was in? No I wasn't gonna be You're like me You're a fan of Breaking Bad I was gonna say Deadwood I just wanted to mention her

So which one do you like? The comedies with robots Or Jason Segal Steven Segal Or both do you like, the comedies with robots or Jason Segal, Steven Segal, or both? I'm gonna go, I gotta go with robots. Okay. Victor Khan. This is a comedy from 1987 that has one or more robots in it.

Two and a half stars. Pay attention, Willie. Where am I? He thinks he already knows it but I don't you know he's gonna just say Abominable Snowman again

The Legend of the Loch Ness Monster Is it Abominable Robot? Two and a half stars Comedy is subjective You can think anything's funny Leonard says this movie is surprisingly innocuous. And he also says...

He also says that it's likeably silly. Of course it's going to be. It's a comedy with robots in it. And he lists 14 names. Holy shit, you guys. Can you imagine such a thing? 14 names

in a row? Just then they're all different. How many do you think you could name it? 14. Smart. Solid. Smart, solid. Graham's next. Nine. No, you're next.

Answer the question. Oh. Thought you were trying out one of your many accents. Nine. I thought you were trying out one of your many accents. Name! Hello, I'm from Germany, I am. Grew up my whole life in Munich. What do you think, Willie? Eight, then.

Ace is eight, George. George? You look more like a George to me. He's from Madison. He spells it G-E-O in my defense His Jeff Like Like Who's the famous person

Yeah the guy from Queensrack The guy from Queensrack has my whole neck Yeah Did you watch Were you too young to ever watch Bewitched Yeah There's a Mr. Tate in that show. Larry Tate.

Yeah. And then there's Graham's character, Eerie Tate. I don't get it. It's because you're irritating, man. That whistling is bullshit. What? I'll fucking You want me to get the whole crowd to join on with my whistle? Please don't

I don't think that's a good idea It hurts enough when just you do it But do you think I don't have a song? We're out of time buddy One less than he said He said eight, I said seven You many names? One less than he said. He said eight. I said seven. You said eight. You say seven.

Graham? You said seven? Yeah, he said seven. Out of 14. Likeably silly. It's got a robot in it. At least one. Six.

He's going six, Willie. So you can say either five or name it. You know I'm saying five Yeah, we knew that about you Name it I'll name it, bitch From the other shows Right?

Captain America said it Alright, Grams Do we need to get a shithead From the Snakes on a Bane lady That didn't Oh, we did have one, didn't we? Yeah, you read it. I'll remember it.

I'll remember it and say it again, even though I do not agree. The first time I said it earlier in the show, we'll bleep that out. Okay. I like putting bleeps in. It's funny. Bleep out all the whistling, too, if you're listening. What? You guys want to hear the Wisconsin fight song? Wouldn't that be amazing?

That would be so great if we could cover every whistle attack with beeps. We'll cover it. What do you guys... Let me take a quick poll, Graham, really quick. How many people... I'm fucking talking!

Can I fucking speak on my own goddamn show? How many people here enjoyed Graham's last appearance? Thank you. If we cut out all the whistling, this will go way under time. I'm glad I saw his first and his last. That was awesome. It doesn't matter how long it lasts on the internet. I'm respecting the facility in which I'm doing the show

and trying to wrap it up on time. We're good. There's no 7 o'clock show, though. That's right. So you can fucking do your goddamn annoying whistling for all night long for all I fucking care. Go stand out on State Street by the girl with the mandolin. I will.

I'm going to stand out and make a lot of money. You'll have all the taxis in one place of Madison at one point. There's 1,500 taxis on State Street. Did you get the shithead from her yet? Yeah, it's right there. I like how you looked at it, looked at me.

Haven't we been over this, Doug? And you didn't even have a shot or nothing. No. Your whistling is like a neuralyzer from Men in Black. Every time you do it, I'm back to square one. I have no idea what's happened in my life. We don't have a shithead for his thing. There's no shithead on his list.

Okay, we'll get one if he loses. Sounds like you don't have a lot of confidence in him. No, I get disappointed. Just take it easy, man. All right, settle down. He might win. It's like a blanket. Willie might take this, you guys.

Fucking right. That's my whole strategy. How many names do you get? Five? Four? Four. Five? Five.

Let's give him five. Did you fuck me again? Did you tell me I gotta name it? Yeah. Shit! You knew that was gonna happen. Fuck this! This is a really hard lesson.

Okay, you guys. Doug, you would be the last person I would think to have an intervention from me. You're going to be fine, man. Okay, let's do this. You're totally going to nail this. Let's rewind it again. Give me all the details.

I'm just going to give you the five names. Just look into the audience as they all, some of them already know what it is, but others will light up as I say these names. And it won't help you at all, but at least you'll see how easy it is. Not easy, but... Your five names are Dom DeLuise,

Joan Rivers, Rhonda Shearer, Ronnie Graham, and John Hurt. And it's from 1987, and it's a comedy that has one or more robots in it. I mean, Cannonball Run? You got the ball correct.

Did I win? No, Dom DeLuise, I get why you would do that. Did I fucking win? It makes sense. Dom DeLuise was 14th build in Cannonball Run, the comedy with robots. Sure. Total sense.

Cars are robots. In some cultures, yes, they are. I clearly... Spaceballs. Did I miss the are. I clearly... Spaceballs. Did I miss the Spaceballs? It's Spaceballs. My girlfriend's gonna kick my ass. Baby, I love you.

I was thinking Short Circuit until the name was... I wouldn't call Short Circuit a comedy. You guys are offended by... Number five. Number five. Number five. I would call it

amazingly innocuous or whatever it was. It's breathtakingly average. He called it surprisingly innocuous because Mel Brooks normally makes movies that are a little bit

more risque. Did you say Mel Brooks in the lineup? No. No, why would I? Well, because he was in the movie as Yogurt. He had 14 names. Laureen Yarnell, Michael Winslow, George Weiner, Dick Van Patten, Daphne Zuniga.

I'm not going to get dinner tonight. He lists Mel Brooks number one. No, you have to go watch Yentl. We need to get your shithead, though. Where'd you get that Kate Nato thing from? Shark Kato Oh, that's my girl Kate back in there I don't even know

Kate, can you get up here and tell us your shithead? Am I talking? Where's she at? Oh, you're wearing the hat, you're awesome She had a shark hat on even She wrote it down on a piece of paper, that's nice That's what's up. Yeah.

And Graham, could you go get your shit? No, they left already. They got tired of his whistling. That looks like Nicholas King. People just mock a skill they can't have. That's what it is. People are afraid of raw talent. This one, she actually gave me two different shitheads,

so I'm just going to read those. You can put that down. They already know what it is. I already said it, but we're going to bleep it. Can I keep that? You don't got to get all pissy. That'd be fun. Quick plugs, guys.

You got some plugs? Oh, yeah. Buy my record. I got potential. It's on iTunes and Amazon. And I'm doing it. And that movie. September 13th. September 13th September 13th

A simple kind of Some kind of wonderful What's it called? You're asking us what it's called? The movie you're in? A Strange Brand of Happy Comes out September 13th I'm a bartender

And Denzel Washington is in it? You need to get Queensrack back together man Nope There it is. Comes out September 13th. I'm a bartender. And Denzel Washington is in it? Nope. You need to get Queensrack back together, man. Nope. Separate ways. We want our separate ways. And I don't know. I'm doing stand-up in some places.

I fucking don't remember where. I heard you're going to do a set in the back of Willie's liquor store. Is that true? Dude, we can do that. We can make that happen. He'll totally hype that. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm doing a... We have a garden in the back, a secret garden. See, there you go. We can do a little hors d'oeuvres and champagne thing. Where can people see you for reals? Dude, for reals. I mean, I get to plug myself for real in Madison. Because all y'all from Madison's, give it up!

Hey! I'm over at the old Alchemy every third Friday, playing strictly reggae. I mean, you can find me at Merchant. You can find me at Knoxville twice a month. I'm majestic. I just did the Dirty Head show, sold out at Majestic with Expendables. Dude, I'm all over the place.

You got a website? DJTricrome.com Done. Easy mine. the place. You got a website? DJTricrome.com. Done. Easy mind. Easy mind. You go to DJTricrome.com, I'm the only one, one, playing the reggae 45s.

Right? I'm doing stand-up at the end of the month, October, or August 24th. Your plug section is over. You're done, Sean. I moved on.

Graham? Are you playing any gigs here in Madison? What's your plug, Jeff? Get a plug. I'm doing a show with Bill Burr on August 24th at UC

and the second or third week of October at Go Bananas in Cincinnati with Mike Birbiglia. Come to those shows. If you live in Cincinnati. I'm just plugging stuff that's in Cincinnati.

It's too bad those guys can't draw a crowd and you really pitched in. No, I want some people to come see me. Hey, well, it's all in this here replug. I'm going to replug. I'm going to go open up for John Brown's Body. I'm going to be out in Red River, New Mexico

opening for John Brown's Body and different bands like that, you know, on the Red River Fest out here in September. I'm all over the place, dude. Come on. What's up, Graham? Love it. I'm coming to all those gigs. Let's tag team this. I'll be whistling back up at all TriChrome's fucking gigs.

Thank God. In a Bane mask you can also see me headline the Zanies in Rosemont, Illinois August 21 through 24 that's all my other tour dates are at GrahamElwood.com my Twitter, Facebook and Los Angeles Podcast Festival

Doug's both of Doug's podcasts will be in it, along with about 30 some, 30 to 40 more. That's October 4th through 6th. Go to lapodfest.com. Give it up for Graham.

He travels, you guys. Give it up for Graham Elwood real quick, because he travels and does work, y'all. Oh, thanks. I'm glad somebody said give it up for my guests, because I never say that. I just want you to quietly walk off the stage.

But Graham, can people get copies of Comedy Film Nerds today? Yeah, I actually have copies of the Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies. I'll be in the lobby and I got my other stuff, CDs. Jeff will be selling his CDs. We'll be out there. Autographs, pictures are free.

Come on out and hang. And for those of you who have never heard of me, I got little cards with all my wet info on there. Sweet. Set that shit up. Let's hear it for Graham Elwood. Thank you. DJ Tricrom, a.k.a. Willy Wonka.

What a mercy. And Jeff Tate, girls' man. Doug Benson, up in this motherfucker. Give me a high five, Doug. I got my hands full You got your hands full of a bunch of shit Yeah Oh, and where's your winner there?

Harry Palmstride Come get it There you go, dude Congratulations Thanks, guys I just wanted them to leave So I just get a moment of peace As a stoned individual,

I don't like having to yell at people. But that whistling was really, like, I'm so not stoned now. Like, if I ever need to take a drug test, I'm going to just go hang out with Graham in a small room for a few hours. Just let him whistle it out of me. That sounds gross.

Graham, whistle it out of me. And as always, that thing about Michael Cera and Beck as a shithead. The bonus shithead on this piece of paper is Sarah Jessica Parker. Yeah, give it to her. And this is a reference to a story I told yesterday that was just supposed to be between me and the audience.

But now I have to say it. My cousin's daughter and her friends are a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talk he has involved his beauty problems makes him talk

he there's no room in his heart for you just talk talk to me thanks a lot you guys good night

now it's time for Doug to watch another talk Thanks a lot, you guys. Good night.