Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood and Wayne Federman Guest

Episode Date: December 18, 2008

Doug welcomes Graham Elwood and Wayne Federman to the show to discuss the best movies of 2008... in other words, 'The Dark Knight.'See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see cause Doug loves movies Hello and hi and wow Somebody hurled something at me Thank goodness it's not a shoe Come on That's the first one of the night That's why I like to tape I love movies right before

Comedy Death Ray Because when there's something as hot As the president having a shoe thrown at him In the news You know it's going to come up a few times, and I win. And this is Doug Benson's I Love Movies, and we're recording live in, well, it's, let's see what, let me synchronize on the time here. It is 8.07 p.m. and so this show will be over

by 8.37 p.m. We're at the UCB Theater in front of Comedy Death Ray's weekly Tuesday night institution here at UCB in Los Angeles and this is their 300th show and

the audience that you can hear clapping right now is the audience for that show and it's going to can hear clapping right now is the audience for that show and it's going to be a four and a half hour wink marathon I have a feeling it'll go a little longer than that of comedy and I am thrilled and delighted to be able

to do an I Love Movies taping before the start of that show now somebody threw a shirt at me here at my table. And, oh, my God, this is awesome. It's Willem Dafoe. And under his face it says, shithead. That is so awesome.

Like, everyone who hasn't gone back and listened to the shows back when I was at handheldcomedy.com, and I think the site is still up and you can still listen to them, I think. But when I was over there, there was one episode where I was looking for a catchphrase to close the show with, like, see you in the balcony or this seat's taken or whatever the hell they say on those shows. um until next time this seat is taken that'd be a really harsh thing to say but um i needed a phrase and but also in in one of the episodes i was just talking

about here's a sentence you never hear barbara stanwick is a shithead and that led to eventually will me saying willem dafoe is a shithead i'm that led to eventually me saying Willem Dafoe is a shithead. I was just trying to think of people that, like, you know, why on earth would anybody call them a shithead? And then that became, like, my closing line at the end of every episode. And now you could see it if you ever come to one of the live tapings of this podcast. The guests always look at me like, why did you just say Willem Dafoe is a shithead?

Because nobody that's coming on this podcast is listening to it. They're all like comedian friends of mine and actors and stuff. And so like Sarah Silverman and Jon Hamm and everybody I've had on in the past few weeks have always gone, why did you say that? And then explaining it takes a long time. So hopefully all the listeners to the podcast that are newish have been caught up as to why i say that at the end of the show and i'd like to very quickly just do a rundown of reviews of

some of the holiday uh movies the award bait whatever movies that are out right now uh just some quick reviews and then we'll bring out my guests uh and thank you to whoever threw the willem dafoe's a shithead shirt at me and go ahead and sell those to the three or four people that would want them milk got some thanks the curious case of Benjamin Button is this the kids movie about a bear

doubt pretty sure I won't like it Is this a kid's movie about a bear? Doubt. Pretty sure I won't like it. Australia. Been there, don't want to do that. Gran Torino. Add the father to the middle and then take a nap. Clint Eastwood's very old.

Frost Nixon. I'll wait for that to come out on tapes. Four Christmases. Vince Vaughn's best movie since Fred Claus. Revolutionary Road. Kate and Leo reunite to prove that the real star of Titanic was the iceberg. And finally, Valkyrie. Tom Cruise tries to kill Hitler and fails. Spoiler alert!

My guests tonight on I Love Movies are two of my buddies that I love seeing and discussing movies with. This first gentleman likes to go over and entertain the troops in Iraq. And what else can I say about him? Oh, he's a regular on the Benson Interruption shows that I do at New York and Los Angeles UCB theaters. Ladies and gentlemen, Graham Elwood is here.

Graham Elwood. Coming out, palm striking shit. Sit wherever you like, Graham. And my other guest was supposed to be on the program a couple weeks ago, two episodes ago. Did somebody throw something at you? He got some underwear thrown at him. You're talking on the mic when you have something to say. Okay, I'll put these on.

Yeah, put them on because there's nothing more entertaining in a podcast than listening to a guy put on underwear that says, what does it say on it? I hate to stare. It says, put away wet on the front. This is what's covering my vagina. And then what does it say on the butt?

Road hard. Alright. vagina and then what does it say on the butt road hard all right now let's seriously talk some movies let's do it oh i should have said you have a site called comedy film nerds yes comedyfilmers.com we've got these uh 10 off everything in the store including personally autographed uh d professional Humoridian CDs. Ooh, fart! Which was just named by Punchline.com PunchlineMagazine.com as the number one

comedy record in 2008. Boo! Yeah. Thank you. Oh, and we're extending the 10% off. Suck on that, Louis C.K. at number two. Sorry, on that, Louis C.K. At number two. Sorry, dead Mitch Hedberg. I am funnier than you.

You came in at number five, sucker. That's what you get for shooting skag. Three spot. You came in fifth, but it's still funny. All right. I love Mitch Heiberg. Okay, so, but coming out also out here to discuss movies, especially this guy always has favorites of the year and lists and stuff,

and I always love that about him. And he was featured this year in Step Brothers and probably two or three other movies. He was the blind guy that lived next door. Wayne Fetterman is finally here. Two podcasts later. Who's this guy? What's that weirdo?

Oh, and also Wayne has starting a new job. Oh, that's true. Yeah, Wayne just got a new gig. He's moving to New York in a few weeks. Moving to Manhattan. And what are you going to be doing there? I will be the head monologue writer for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

That is awesome. So your job will be to watch Jay Leno at 10 and then quickly write jokes that aren't similar? It'll be good. It's good. They need more monologues on NBC. The 10, the 1130, and then we're going to do something. Yeah, but there's that break for the news.

My theory is there's just different segments that are different at different times, so I think it's going to work out fine. I'm excited. You are. Graham's excited about it. Nice. So, Wayne, tell me, first of all, just right out of the gate While I'm thinking of it Yeah

Worst movie you saw In 08 I don't know if it's the worst But it's my least favorite Least favorite It's a little different It's a movie called I believe it's called

That Just Happened Wow Did anybody see that? Anybody here? Was that in the theaters? Nobody One person Saw it over there

What Just Happened It's called I don't even know the name of it. It's called What Just Happened. It's called What Just Happened. And you forgot to say ellipses. Right, right. What Just Happened, I think is the name.

Yeah. And it's, well, if no one saw it, this is going to be horrible for me to talk about it. I mean, they certainly are just lobbing a softball to critics by calling it What Just Happened. Because that could be your entire review. Just repeat the title. Well, it's a movie about Hollywood with Robert De Niro playing a producer. Oh, yeah.

And it just made me hate Hollywood and movies. You know, Bruce Willis hasn't played himself in enough movies. Like, that should be a twist in more movies that Bruce Willis shows up as himself. Well, you know what? It's always a delight. Hollywood should be banned

from making these types of movies and like once in a blue moon they come out and get shorty or something but like honestly like i i you know if you've ever gone to a film festival there's a million of them and there's always some young kid and oh we got this film and it's nuts oh there's a scumbaggy agent and these guys are trying to get their film made i don't give a shit about you're trying to get it made and crazy showbiz. Nobody fucking cares. So you're like, you go to Sundance and you're like a human space

heater. People must gather around you and go, this guy is so fucking mad that it sends a nice glow off of his body. I am totally a human space heater. What was the name of the movie that was pretty good about Hollywood

with Kevin Bacon? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big Picture. Yeah, the Big Picture. That was pretty entertaining. That was all right. Okay, let me just say something. There's been a lot of good show business movies.

I don't think they should be banned. No, I didn't. I'm not jumping on the bandwagon of the band. Of that bandwagon. Wow, listen to that freak band wagon of the band name. Of that band wagon. Wow, listen to that freak laugh back there. That guy. You better pace yourself. There's a lot of show coming up.

A lot of show. This is just like, this is just something for you to watch instead of standing outside in the cold. Okay. But can I say this? Now, I saw another movie that a lot of people have seen. Again, this is going to be my theme, is not knowing the name of the movie, but because I'm refusing to learn the word that is the name of the movie because it was

so reprehensible, the movie. I already know which one you mean. Do you know the correct pronunciation of the name of that movie? I think it's pronounced Cinedosh. I know it's not pronounced Schenectady. Right, that's what I'm calling it on purpose. That's what's so confusing because Schenectady doesn't even look right when you write it down. And then they make a movie that's a similar name, but not.

But it's Schenedoach, New York, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's terrible. Anyway, but the reason that beat out What Just Happened or That Just Happened. Lost Out to What Just Happened. Lost Out to For Worst Movie on the Lane. It's because at least it was ambitious in its horribleness at least it was like trying for something that i don't it's not particularly ambitious to go let's make a movie about the people that we deal with every day and have dealt with the agent and he's doing a bad jack and lemon

impression well no one saw the movie so this this is going to be horrible. Nobody gives a shit. What was it? Do you have a worst movie of the year, Graham? Oh, three words. Lake View Terrace. Okay, technically it was two words. What? Wait a minute. See, that's the thing. Wayne forgets the words, the actual words.

I forget the syllables and how you pronounce it. That's what I forget in a movie so bad. Lake View Terrace was one of those movies that, it one of those movies in the first like 12 minutes you go just fucking call the supervisor and say quit being a dick and it's like it would be over like you know what i mean it's like the movie with the wacky guy that moves in and he won't leave no throw his fucking ass out you know what i mean like you're done like this really a cop in la the most scrutinized police department in the world good point he's gonna get away with this shit like he could

literally go oh yeah uh hi k cal get your shit over here it's fucking lawsuit time and the guy would be out on his ass i mean this is a police department where if you bounce a guy off the hood it's like police brutality i i lived in chicago where I had a cop come up to me and my brother once in high school. My brother was yelling out the window and the cop goes, you don't shut the fuck up I'm going to jam my nightstick up your fucking ass. And that and he became the governor. Yeah, he's

the governor. That was a fun thing, but real quick, no one from Illinois or Chicago was surprised by that. The rest of the country was like, oh my god. Everyone from Chicago was like, yeah, of course. He fucking was trying to sell a thing. What else would you do? Is it because the economy's bad?

It's corrupt. It's what Gotham City is based on. Segway Dark Knight. Oh yeah. So my guests are pre-screened tonight. I would not accept anything less than saying that yes, Dark Knight is the best movie of the year.

But Wayne has some issues with it. Can I qualify before I say that? Because there are a number of movies that I have not seen yet. Like The Godfather. No, I mean this came out this year. Speaking of not seeing a movie, you haven't seen Valkyrie yet? I have not seen Valkyrie.

Because that, I cannot wait to put that on my... If it lives up to expectations, it might be my number one worst movie of the year. Because you heard about the accents. That's what you were telling me. I've heard about... It's all British actors and Tom Cruise, and they're all playing Nazis

who speak either in a British accent or in a Tom Cruise and they're all playing Nazis who speak either in a British accent or in a Tom Cruise accent. Tom Cruise accent. Like, let's all pick one thing and go with it. Like, all the British people

could have done American accents because that apparently is very easy for British people to pull off. That would be great if it was just like

all Asian actors running around going, we gotta kill Hitler. I mean, that's pretty lame when a movie star of Tom Cruise's caliber can't get a good coach and really learn. I know. Can I respond to that? Can I respond to what you're saying?

Please. I'm going to say this movie, and I hope I get the name of it correct. The Hunt for Red October. Now, The Hunt for Red October. Well, see, then that's the thing. They at least use accents. They at least use accents. They at least use accents. No, what do you mean?

They were all over the place in that one, too. They were all over. No, no, no, wait a minute. Scott Glenn. But that movie's really entertaining, and the main guy's supposed to be American, and Alec Baldwin nails it. Wait, you just mentioned Scott Glenn.

I'm talking about the main guy. If the main character in a movie's supposed to be First of all, there was the main character in a movie is supposed to be of some particular ethnic descent. There was two main guys in the movie. Sean Connery played a Russian who was trying to defect. And he came nowhere near a Russian accent. As close as I'm doing a Russian accent. He tried, though.

He tried. Here's what he did. Here's what they did. The device they used in that film. They were all speaking in Russian. And then they did that thing where they just like, okay, now it's all English, so we don't have to watch subtitles. I understand.

That's not what I'm talking about. I don't want to watch subtitles. No, it's subtitles. But you don't want to... I go just to watch the subtitles. Sometimes I go to read the subtitles. That's a little different than watching them. They should have hearing subtitles.

Boo! We should have a worse rip. Where you hear it in two different... Okay, this is... You hear the movie in two different languages simultaneously. All right. Well, that wasn't my point. Yes, they did that in The Hunt for Red October,

but I'm saying even once they went to English, it was one guy was kind of English, and one guy was American, obviously. The general enjoyment factor of the movie made up for it. But you can't make a shitty movie and then also not even try. Why do you think it's shitty if you haven't even seen it yet?

In the trailer you saw like, we're gonna get the hang for it October. Whatever his like, okay, he's trying. I'm watching Valgrind's like, Hitler's a bad guy. Really? You're gonna say that? Like, goddamn, he's trying. I'm watching Valgrind. It's like, Hitler's a bad guy. Really? You're going to say that? Like, goddamn Hogan's hero.

Yeah, it's like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. And he's like, slides through the room with an eye patch and underwear on. So anyway. So anyway, I, again, what are your problems?

What are your problems with the Dark Knight? Well, this is my problem with the Dark Knight. Like Chicago. Michael Caine does a good Alfred voice. Some men just like to watch the world burn. That's not bad. That's not bad from Alfie. Michael Caine's actually very good at doing an English accent.

He's really, he nailed the British thing. His Boston accent in the Cider House rules. Oh, yeah. Which I like to say like that, not the way it's supposed to be said. Cider House rules. The Cider House rules. No, Cider House rules. I thought it was the sequel to National Leopold's Animal House.

It totally rules. And at the end the people from Cider House have a dance-off against, yeah. Good night, you princes of men,

you kings of New England. That was Cider House rules! Yeah, and I'd be like Cider House rules. So basically, this is my problem with The Dark,

is I just felt like suddenly the powers of the Joker. That's his name, right? It's Joe Cair. Of Joe Cair, this guy. The powers of the Joker just seemed to get exponentially more incredible as the movie went on. At first it was just like, oh, I'm a crazy guy. I'll stick a knife in my finger

to kill a guy. But then later on... Earmuffs, if you haven't seen it yet. Or a pencil, whatever it was. But I'm saying, but then later on it was like no one in the entire saw him set up explosives in that hospital. No one

saw them put explosives in two ferry boats. No one saw them put explosives in two ferry boats. No one saw anything. Well, he does. He is very clever. How clever? Come on. He's very good at wearing

a, you know, makeup that would give him away in any setting. Any setting. And the people in it, but this was the thing. Did they in any way establish this is a crew of super brilliant? No. It was like they just went for the craziest people and then no way so so i just felt

like by the end i'm like okay what else can he do can he stop time he was able to roam freely in the hospital in a nurse's uniform because it was halloween that day so i i he's the most crazy stuff walking around the hospital the number one criminal just at the end I was like okay I am like a dog

chasing a car I wouldn't know what to do if I caught it I don't know where to begin with how wrong

you are okay let's do it tell me tell me first of all first of all in the beginning if you're just going off of the movies

Like if you haven't read all of the comic books I haven't There we go, boom Batman Beyonds I don't know why I pluralized it Because the movie fucking rocks That established how corrupt Gotham City is

Batman Begins That established how corrupt Gotham City is. Batman Begins. That established how corrupt Gotham City truly is. Which means, in the beginning of the movie, the Joker's like, hey, a year ago, we could have gotten away with whatever, but now the Bat... I got some nice pillowcases at Batman Beyond.

Very nice. Nicely played. Did you get the 20% off certificate that they send you in the mail? How did you get that? I think it's very tough to get those. Oh, God. It's brutal trying to find one of those. It's like a special customer that walked by once. It's like trying to find a realtor to send me a notepad.

So here's the thing. It's already been established how corrupt the city is. He obviously proves that he can kind of infiltrate anywhere because he's so crazy. And, you know, otherwise, it's also a movie where the guy's a billionaire who wears a bad outfit. So you're kind of suspending a little bit of disbelief, in my opinion. Yeah, you need to have a more heavy-duty belief suspension. So my belief wasn't suspended, though. Your disbelief, whatever.

It's not that expensive having it put in. But yeah, you definitely need that. All right, if your argument is there's a guy in a bat suit, so anything goes, you're right. Well, yes, because it's a superhero movie. You're totally right. It's not a superhero movie. Yes, it is. That's where you're wrong.

Yes, it is. That is where you're wrong. Batman is not a superhero. A superhero is somebody who has superpowers. That's what makes this movie so fucking great, because he does. He wasn't born in some crazy planet. He wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider. He fucking got his parents.

That's why he's not a superhero. Yes, he is. You're making your own point in a weird way. Oh, I'm the only guy who calls Batman a superhero? Wayne, come on. Yes, you're making this woman leave. Get out of here. No, I'm saying... I'm sorry to raise my voice,

but he's not a superhero. Nerd talk. I'm gonna go take a shit. Yeah, he's... He's a comic book hero. What is the problem? Comic book superhero That was my impression of the lady who left. That wasn't

That wasn't me talking. I thought that was our conversation. No, I started it. I love The Dark Knight. I can listen to this shit all night. You by the tiebreaker.

By the time that he put explosives on two different boats And wait, wait, wait. Weren't you already thinking this movie's great and I'm having a great time and it's really fascinating? I mean, I wasn't that anxious to find things wrong with it at that point. Why is your voice so high?

Earlier in the movie, I was concerned. I was concerned about... I'm trying to do it quickly, too. Okay. I was concerned about the mayor wearing eyeliner. That's the sort of thing... That was right. That's the sort of thing that kind of was making me wonder what's going on in this movie.

Of course Well he's got to handle all the crazy business in the Lost Island And then he's got to be the mayor Bang bang Yeah and he's got to go up to Brooke Shields and say Susan The deadline for this story has come and gone Susan

And he was also Batman Well in the short lived Tick TV series So that's an interesting So I gotta concur With Doug on this Like how would you After you're into the movie

Then To me it's This is what I'm saying It's like a movie Isn't allowed If you have a bigger nitpick With stuff that happens Early on

It's not a nit And it's not picking This is what I'm saying I'm saying during the course Of the movie I was in I was totally in. I thought Heath was beyond good, and I've seen him be bad in movies.

And so I was loving it. Then I'm just like, am I really supposed to believe that he kidnapped the DA and the girlfriend and set them up in different places? Well, he's always got people working for him that will ultimately get killed, so they're the dumbest people. It's the most corrupt city. Word hasn't gotten out that Joker kills every one of his henchmen

right look I love the movie I love the movie the first ten minutes is the best ten minutes of filmmaking almost ever made I can watch it

over and over again and I do and I like the if I could start some sort of you know voter fraud

to make it win best picture I would do it I'd risk imprisonment, Wayne. Yeah, the Golden Globe. Those assholes can suck it. All right. Christmas edition of Leonard Maltin.

See which one of you guys can get this first. It's from... I thought I was supposed to ask you. 1989. We don't have that kind of time, Wayne. Go ahead. I'm just going to see which one of you... 1989. This settles the Darkman... Darkman.

This settles your argument about that same Sam Raimi movie. No, this settles your argument about The Dark Knight. Whoever wins this. Raza Ghul.

Whoever gets this first. Let's do it. Say your name when you think you know it. Wayne? Yes. Okay. You got a guess already?

No, I just want to make sure that's the name we're going by. You can jump in early and guess It's from 1989 And it was a Christmas themed movie Home Alone 2 Did you say Wayne first?

Graham, would you like to take a guess? Graham Home Alone 2 That's correct, Graham wins I guess I was wrong I guess I was wrong. I guess I was wrong about superheroes. No, that really wasn't the answer at all. I've just been getting the signal to wrap it up,

and I thought that'd make a great ending if he just swept it away from you because he didn't say your name first. By the way, home audience, this is me swinging these pink panties and throwing them to some lucky winner in the audience. Oh, they're all dodging it. They just went to the ground.

Like nobody, nobody even reached for it. Anything else you want to plug, Graham, real quickly? Yeah, comedyfilmnerds.com

and, you know, visit me at the lovely MySpace. All right, Wayne Fetterman, you got Step Brothers coming out on DVD.

You play the blind guy. I also have a little part in Funny People and I just served, play the blind guy. I also have a little part in Funny People. And I just served... Served? Served. I just was on another episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Oh, nice.

It's the same annoying paper guy. Thank you. Thank you. And when does Jimmy Fallon show start? We start March 2nd. Boom. All right. Special hi to Megan out there.

And thanks a lot, everybody. William Defoe... William a lot everybody William Defoe William William Defoe's a shithead that's normally where the music comes in there it is now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie eyes of gold his viewing prowess makes him cocky

there's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!