Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood, Greg Fitzsimmons and Tess Morris guest

Episode Date: November 12, 2015

Back at the UCB Franklin in LA, Doug welcomes screenwriter Tess Morris and comics Graham Elwood and Greg Fitzsimmons to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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You have until the 19th at 9 p.m pacific to subscribe and receive that month's crate and when the cutoff happens that's it it's over so go to lootcrate.com slash doug and enter the code doug to save three dollars on your new subscription today enjoy the show! Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 azopop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug Gull's movies! Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies.

Who's that extra loud guy over there? Were you the same one that said hello, Doug, earlier really loud? Is that going to be the last we hear from you this show? Perfect. He gave me the thumbs up. I love it. Coming to you from the UCB Theater, Franklin Avenue location in Los Angeles, California on Wednesday, November

11th, 2015. Happy Veterans Day, everybody! Happy Veterans Day, everybody! Do we have any vets in the crowd at all? Didn't think so. It's kind of a younger, nerdier crowd for that, but still thought I'd ask. I didn't know what I was going to do if somebody said yes.

Maybe just hand them the prize bag. It's gigantic and super heavy, you guys, because I put a lot of stuff in there this time so somebody's going to win this tonight so let me see those name tags there's a fella right there a lady a lady fella

I didn't see who wrote the tweet but you made a genie in the chocolate factory sign and you had to go through Sweet, but you made a Genie in the Chocolate Factory sign. Yeah. And you had to go through, where'd you come here from? Nova Scotia.

Nova Scotia? And you had to go through security in Canada with, you said you had a glue gun? Yes. But you got it through? You explained to them that you needed a glue gun to make a really cool poster of a freaky-looking Willy Wonka? Is that your face on Willy Wonka? Badly done, yeah. Badly done, yeah. It's kind of frightening how he looks.

You'd think he'd look softer with a pretty lady face, but instead it's scary-looking. But then you also glued a bunch of different candies to it. Different British chocolates. Which is, yeah. No Wonka chocolates, but close enough. British stuff.

I love it. Good job. And then sitting next to you, we have a Price is Right name tag. Because you went on Price is Right? You did it today? And did you get to come on down? And well, when you didn't get called, you should have whipped out the glue gun and made some threats.

Because that Drew Carey, he'll cave. He'll put you right in the showcase showdown if you point a glue gun at his head. There's lots of light-up ones here tonight. There's this lady. Seems very proud of something she just probably drew about five minutes ago. All three of you guys in the front row, just like, they're well-drawn. We'll see if they get picked.

Good luck, Christina and Jason and Rob, and everybody else that made name tags. Thank you very much. Straight out of Anton. I like that. Ooh, what's that? Is that the new guy from Star Wars Force Awakens? What's his name? BB?

BB-8. BB-8? Yeah, and you have one. And then you just slapped an ugly sign on it. On that beautiful little rolling robot. Okay, what's your name? Michelle. Okay, Michelle.

You know, I don't like to predict these things ahead of time, but if I were one of the guests, I'd grab that thing, and then I'd keep it. That's what I would do. But thanks for bringing your name tags, you guys. Let me do some plugs really quick. Getting Doug with High goes live this Friday at 5.15 Pacific time at youtube.com slash Doug Benson High goes live this Friday at 5.15 Pacific Time at youtube.com

slash Doug Benson. Please don't slash Doug Benson. Saturday, this Saturday, November 14th, Doug Loves Movies tapes over at Meltdown Comics at 4.20. I'll be in Raleigh, North Carolina December 3 and 5. Portland, Oregon December 6.

AM Northwest in Portland on December 7. And Seattle, Vegas, San Antonio in January AM Northwest in Portland on December 7th. And Seattle, Vegas, San Antonio in January. Douglovesmovies.com for all the info you could ever need about everything. Let's get into this huge prize bag, and then I've got to get the guests out here. Last night in Nashville, someone at the show named Kimmy brought as her name tag a giant blow up donut from the Simpsons yeah from like the Simpsons

her name tag was the Kimpsons because her name is Kim and it's even got the bite out of it and everything but I had to deflate it much like your glue gun situation I had to travel with this so I couldn't just keep it blown up and just claim it was a hemorrhoid donut. So I had to deflate it.

So whoever wins is going to have to blow it up. Whatever you want to do with it. It's up to you. It's your life. And then we got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. A guy won the prize bag recently, and he wrote to me on Twitter, hey, the Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. A guy won the prize bag recently, and he wrote to me on Twitter, hey, the Doug Loves Movies t-shirt isn't my size that was in the prize bag.

Can I trade it in for my size? And on Twitter, I wrote back, nope. So I had to laugh when I did that. Here's a copy of Howard Stern's Miss America. Yeah, I don't need that anymore. Here's another book. These are just super heavy books. It's called Pick Me Up, Stuff You Need to Know.

And there's examples on the back. Was Beethoven a punk? Why do we smile? What's the connection between dogs and rockets? I don't care about any of those. I'm not at all interested. I'm more like, how does BB-8 move around? I'm more curious about that.

We got a T-shirt from the 2015 311 cruise that I was on, and somebody made shirts and gave me one. Oh, this is fun. A VHS copy. It's not even in regular packaging. It's in a box from PhotoChem Film and Video. But it's the film Pan's Labyrinth on VHS. Who wouldn't be proud to own that?

And, oh, another shirt from Sarah Weinshank from Tuesday Snacks. So all of that, let me make sure. I think there's a Garfunkel notes lighter in here somewhere. Did it fell out? Okay. Garfunkel notes lighter. I'm going to sneeze. Maybe not.

It happened. Thank you so much. Be quiet. That'd be funny to be a librarian who sneezes a lot and yells at people to be quiet when they say bless you. Let's get my guests out here. Please give a big warm welcome to Tess Morris, Greg Fitzsimmons, and Graham Elwood. I like it when you get the whistling out of the way early.

That was just a prelim. Oh, no. There's more to come. Yeah, I have a whole. There's more to come. Yeah, I have a whole album I'm going to do. But let's meet everybody individually, starting with a first-time guest. Let's have a round of applause for Tess Morris, everybody. I can't see anyone.

It's so dark. Very excited to have you here. You sound really excited. I do. Because you wrote a movie that I enjoyed very much. You enjoyed it very much. When I was asked if I would like to have you on the program, I said yes, because it's a film we haven't seen yet here in the States, but I got to see it at a film festival.

What festival did you see it at? The Traverse City Film Festival last summer. Nice, Michael Moore's. Yeah, Michael Moore. That's his festival, yeah. And their slogan is only great movies, and I have to agree in the case of your film, it's called Man Up.

And it stars our pal Simon Pegg. Yes, he loves you very much. And Lake Bell. Yes, she loves you maybe. I'm not sure. Yeah, we get along. She hasn't done this show yet, but she said she would.

Yeah, you got me instead. It's a scheduling thing. But she has a British accent throughout the film. She does, yeah. And I heard that some crew members on the movie that weren't familiar with her were fooled into thinking she was truly a British lady. Yeah, you'd think that they would maybe, like,

six weeks on set, you might Google your leading actress. Yeah, you might be like, oh, like, oh, maybe she's been in something else. Who is she? But no, she, so she stayed in her accent for the whole of the filming. And then on the day she wrapped, she like came out really dramatically

to do this thank you speech to everyone. And she started in her British accent and then she went, suddenly went into her real New York twang. And everyone was like, what the fuck? Like actually annoyed with her, genuinely annoyed with her. Yeah, like you tricked us. Yeah. Kind of like the premise of the film.

Exactly. Where it's like a blind date kind of situation where she takes the date anyway, even though she knows she's not. Well, it's based on something that actually happened to me. So I was under the clock at Waterloo Station, which is in London, England. And a guy came up to me and said are you Claire?

He thought I was his blind date and I said no, no, I'm not Claire and then as he walked away I thought what if I said that I was Claire? So that became the idea

for the film. So yeah, so she basically pretended to be British and then all the crew Oh, you didn't follow through with I'm Claire? No, I didn't but I wrote a film

about it instead. Very nice. I actually saw this on a plane. I loved this film. On everyone's story a film about it instead. Very nice. I actually saw this on a plane. I loved it. Everyone saw it on a plane. You saw it on a plane. I saw it on a plane. You've been doing a lot of international travel.

That's Graham Elwood, everybody. I'm sorry. Hello. How are you? No, no, no, no. This is the worst time for you to do your terrible accents. He's the worst at accents. Are you going to say, hello Mary Poppins?

No, that was my Chinese accent. That was Chinese? Hello all from China. Me mom lives in a great wall. Are you going to do this for the whole hour? Somebody here might not know that that's my real accent.

I love that I said Man Up starring Simon Pegg and Lake Bell, and we talked about it that long before you went, oh, yeah, I saw that. The title, I blanked on the title. Yeah, that's the thing. Was that the title from Jump, the Man Up? From Jump, you mean from the get-go?

Yes. From the jump. Yeah, it was, because I kind of wanted, like, the film's about everyone manning up. It's not a kind of masculine sort of thing, and I wanted to sort of reclaim the phrase a bit, so it's not like, oh,ning up. It's not a masculine sort of thing, and I wanted to reclaim the phrase a bit, so it's not like, oh, man up. It's like, man up everyone.

Yeah, she has to man up as well. She does. Yeah, and I saw it with a crowded theater laughing the whole time, so it's still hilarious watching it just in your plane seat. And what aircraft? I think I was on a 787 Dreamliner.

Good. This is a United plane. Great. You asked just the right person because Graham's one of the few people that knows the answers to these questions. Yeah. I'm just like, I was on a plane.

On my way over here, I was on the plane, obviously, because I flew, and there were people watching it around me, which was very weird. It was quite freaky. I went over to a few of them and said, I wrote that film. Really? I was a twat. And they were like, oh was very weird. It was quite freaky. I went over to a few of them. I said, I wrote that film.

Really? Like a twat. And they were like, oh, sit down. Yeah, you did. Calm down. Everyone on this plane's written a film. We were going to LA. Uh-huh.

Sure you have. But yeah, it's great. It was great. I loved it. It was a nonstop to Melbourne. Thank you. Nonstop? Yeah.

Fuck yeah. Am I an asshole? I got upgraded too. I'm not a fucking animal. Where do you stop when you're going to Melbourne anyway? Like where would you stop? Probably Sydney.

Sometimes you go Sydney and then hop down. A little bing bing. Yeah, a little bop bop. Okay, I like it. Very nice. And Greg Fitzsimmons is here everybody.

Thank you. Thank you Doug for having me. Thank you. Thank you, Doug, for having me. Thank you for taking time out from your busy schedule of wearing hats to come on down. I know you're kind of a west side guy, so I appreciate you coming all the way out here. Venice Beach, me and Graham. Yeah, Graham's out at the beach, too.

West side, bitches. Came all the way here. And the hats are, they're not a choice. There's my, the top of my hair is starting to thin out a little bit. He's just taking his hat off. And when the light hits me, I look like a light bulb because I'm so pale. And so I wear the hat. Everyone's like, do you have an idea, Greg?

I'm constantly having ideas. I'd believe that. People stand around me and read novels. So I do it out of respect to you guys. I appreciate it. Fitzdog Radio is the name of the podcast. Twice a week. You've been on it many times.

Yeah, I love it. It's fun. You're going to talk about a podcast on a podcast? Oh, yeah. Wait until you get Graham started. Holy shit. This is the most incestual thing you've ever seen in your life. Okay.

Graham is not only a co-host of a podcast called Comedy Film Nerds, he also has made a motion picture all about podcasting. Oh, okay. Shot largely at the podcast festival that he created. Podcast, podcast, podcast! No money! Podcast! When you write it on a computer,

spellcheck still underlines it like it's not a word. It usually gets podfast. When I try to write podfest, it always says podfast. I don't know why that would be better than pod fest like it's not

it's pod fest it's uh let's not be assholes so it's a festival for podcasts yes these two guys have been in it

and you brought a shirt from the movie earbuds this is my donation to the thing and it's a medium and if this size doesn't fit you

go to the fucking website and buy another one you goddamn cheap assholes it's an indie film. We're barely fucking staying alive. We've got to sell Greg's hats just to fucking finish post. He does. He comes over to my house and he goes, can I go to the restroom? And then he leaves

and he's got stuff under his shirt. And he never catches on. Nope. He's never caught on once. No, not once. And I keep having him over. Kids love them. What did you bring for the prize bag, Tess? Oh, mine's rubbish. Because I'm British, in case anyone didn't realize.

Oh, I thought you were doing a Lake Bell accent. No. I'm going to fool you all in an hour and start speaking American. I bought posters from the film, but I'm not sure if they're the American or the UK posters. Let's bust them out and find out.'re the American or the UK posters so that's the exciting thing are the American ones fatter and have guns? I'm not going to be able to open this now though

hang on wait I can oh that's a looks like it's a lot of posters holy shit so these are for people's walls they're rubbish they're supposed to take them home and throw them out these are for people's walls. No, they're rubbish. They're supposed to take them home and throw them out.

The side of their vans, Greg. I just don't know how many people in L.A. have houses that are so big. They've got like a big four by three foot space. Look at that. That's a great poster.

Oh, that's worth it though. If I'd been in London, I would have bought like something more personal, but rather than a poster of the film that I wrote. I like that you brought posters of the film If I'd been in London, I would have bought something more personal. Beautiful three colors. Rather than a poster of the film that I wrote. I like that you brought posters of the film and that you brought so many. There's more.

We only need one for the prize bag. There's more behind me. So let's just give some out randomly to folks. Yeah, take them. Please do. Put them up in your small homes. Yeah. Yeah, everybody that has a home that's big enough for the poster.

For some people, that might be wallpaper for the poster. For some people that might be wallpaper for the entire apartment. Come and, oh, Graham will pass them out. Thank you very much, Graham. There you go.

There you go. Have a poster. And is the other, the other one's the same, same thing? Have a poster for a film you haven't seen that you might not like.

Sometimes, like at comedy shows, there'll be somebody that takes the poster down from the front of the club, and they ask you to sign it, and it's like 10 feet by 7 feet, and you're like, where is this going? Yeah, are you really going to put this up on a wall in your home? How long until this is in a dumpster?

But straight up written by Tess Morris, no co-writers. That is sole credit, baby. No one else got involved. Sole credit. I like that you're applauding that. In England, we're like, of course, sole credit, no one else got involved sole credit did I like that you're applauding that amazing in England we're like

of course sole credit of course were Lake and Simon throwing around any ad libs at all well actually you know what that is a really interesting question

that I can now answer for you because everyone keeps asking me that and basically we would do ten takes pretty much of every shot every scene whatever you want to call it

and and then we do one last final shot where the director would shout, Lucy Goosey. And when he shouted Lucy Goosey...

That sounds like a fun set. Yeah, so when he shouted Lucy Goosey, it meant that sometimes we'd let them kind of ad-lib a little bit. And sometimes it would work and sometimes it wouldn't.

But obviously, they both write, so I'm obviously... I wanted them to add their own stuff. The more hilarious it is, the better. You've got sole credit for this sucker. Yeah, exactly.

So feel free to improvise Simon Pegg and Lake Bell, but only within the constraints of the script. Yeah, they definitely kept it within the constraints. Are you actually genuinely handing them out? I feel really embarrassed now. No, people love it. Let's pin one there and read that quote from Screen Relish.

A laugh out loud outstanding comedy. Yeah. I'll put my... That's gonna, that's, oh, there you go, yeah. There you go,

but now we can't drink coffee. You can't drink, yeah, as soon as you drink the poster. Can we get two really long straws? Yeah. What a couple of gentlemen taking turns passing out posters. This is the whole podcast now. I love it.

Everybody's rolling up their posters, thinking about which wall it's going to go on. Free cycling. You can put your bins out tonight. You guys are very nice and polite, although true, typical nerd podcast fans, they were afraid to make eye contact with me when I walked up there.

It's like, anybody want one? And they're all like, no, I don't want to look at you. If looking at you is what it's going to take, I don't want one. I don't want it. It could be there is a large percentage of them that are high right now. No, no, it's a very straight-laced crowd. Most of them just came right over

from the Scientology building, which gives me a great idea. Why not, if you don't have room on the wall for your poster tonight, go over and put it on the side of the Scientology center. Let's just cover it in man-up posters. I fully support that notion. And then take photos and hashtag man-up. Yeah, because Scientologists need to man up more than anybody.

Man up and get out. Get your shit together, get clear, and then leave. Get on the ship. Yeah. What do you got for the prize bet, Greg? Well, there's a... The prize bet, bro. You got a beautiful...

That is a lovely blue hue. Brand new. Well, it's a UCLA Bruins sweatshirt. For a small child. For a child. Well, my wife is getting a degree. My wife. My wife.

She is best prostitute in Kazakhstan. Kazakhstan. Kazakhstan. So she started getting a degree at UCLA, and so I went and bought her a sweatshirt. When she was a child. I don't know why I bought such a small one. It's like a child's

medium. I honestly don't know what to... When I shop, I don't look at shit. I just go, oh, that works and I grab it and I buy it. I Christmas shop for my entire family in under an hour at a mall. And so this doesn't fit her so I figured I'd bring it

and give it to somebody here. What's the surprise that it doesn't fit her? How weird that that child so this doesn't fit her, so I figured I'd bring it and give it to somebody here. What's the surprise that it doesn't fit her? How weird that that child's jumper doesn't fit your wife. And this Adam Carolla show hat doesn't fit anybody? It doesn't fit me. Here's what it is. It's one of these hats that, you know, some hats are nice and flat on your head, and some of them, they just stand, they're just too high.

Oh, wow. Yeah, it looks like you got a lot of extra weird head in there. Wow. You're like one of those guys that is an arsonist that's watching the building burn with the crowd and put a hat on. It's like, oh, wow, this fire's awful while you're jerking yourself off in your pants. You basically bought

gifts that don't fit anyone that you know. I thought that was the idea. That's the idea, yeah. It's just get rid of some crap. Yeah. And, uh, yeah. I'm not gonna lie to you. I drove here, and you had asked me to bring a gift, and I have all kinds of Fitz Dog Radio merch. Hats and caps and... Hats and caps.

Hats and caps. Yep. Get them all. Well, I'm translating for the British guest. Thank you, yeah. And, um, And I forgot it. And so I looked in the trunk of my car and I found stuff I was planning on returning. And I brought it here. I had this the other day with what you call a vest. We call a waistcoat. Really?

Yeah. And it was a very confusing 10 minute conversation with someone where they were like, I was wearing a vest. And I was like, so you mean like like because we call a vest like a string vest you know like you have like little straps here sure but then I was like

but she was but she was describing a waistcoat which is a very different thing to a vest it's different even though it's the same language

there are things that are different there are things right it's weird isn't it yeah yeah but you know we're all God's children

you know what I mean we're all have you been to the movies lately Graham yes I have Doug isn't it? Yeah, yeah. But you know, we're all God's children. You know what I mean? We're all. Have you been to the movies lately, Graham? Yes, I have, Doug. Yeah, what did I, oh, I saw Spectre. Of course you did.

I saw Spectre on Sunday at the Chinese theater on the big IMAX. It was a lot of fun. Had a good time. Did they translate it from Chinese? Yeah, yeah.

He's all like, I'm born, ching chong, ching chong, 007. Why would you say that? Wow Yeah, yeah. He's all like, I'm Bond. Ching-chong, ching-chong. 007. Why would you say that? So racist. That's awful. Ding-a-dung-a-dung-dung-dung-dung.

Wow. Most racist Bond ever. God, it was so brutal. I was offended. It was casual racism. That was different. Yeah, at least he's not sexist anymore. That's the bottom line.

Casual sexism. He just runs around making fun of people of all the different worlds he travels to. I enjoyed it. I also felt like it felt, you know, it feels like It was rubbish as well.

Oh, I know you hated it but I, I don't know, I was sort of like, it's a Bond movie and I know Daniel Craig has said he doesn't

want to do them anymore and maybe he's not and they're talking about getting somebody else and I was sort of like, wow, I've been watching these since my entire life

and I think I'm done. I had a good time and I don't give a shit about them. Wow, I didn't have a good time and I think I'm done. I had a good time, and I don't give a shit about them. Wow. I didn't have a good time, and I think I'm done. Yeah. Or I hope they give it to somebody else. You know, I heard a rumor or a story or something about how there was that one point when they were, I think, right before the Daniel Craig reboot.

I think Tarantino was pitching the idea of, I'd like to make one, but I'd like to go back and have it take place in the 60s and go back and really reboot it. And they said no. They're never going to do that. They're never going to do anything interesting with it. They just have to stick to this weird formula that's like they're peeling away the best parts of the formula. There's no hot girls that are naked. There's just a mouse plot point, Inspector. There's a mouse that changes everything.

Right, yeah. Spoiler, you guys. It means nothing. There's a mouse. He's not even... It's so boring. And I love Bond. I'm like, oh, I love a Bond film. I'm not like... And they've all had pacing problems over the years. This is two and a half hours long.

It's boring. Nothing happens. I felt like, first of all, the gadget we're talking about is a watch. It's a fucking watch. Can I say what it does? That he's allowed

to leave on. Well, that's the thing is I've already gotten yelled at for spoilers from last night. We did a show last night and we talked about it a lot. Is it a spoiler

the fact that she falls asleep dressed and then she wakes up undressed, which was a little bit strange to me as well. Oh, he pulls a Cosby on her? Yeah. Cosby.

Bill Cosby. They really show. I want my pudding shaken, not stirred. If you know what I mean, ladies, yeah. Graham, you went too far. It was funny, and then you went ahead. I was quoting the movie. Roger Moore, when he was James Bond, he'd have lucky

moments where he got across the pond by jumping on the heads of a bunch of alligators. But this Bond, a whole building collapses, and he just slides down the side of it, and then lands in a comfy couch. It's so... like, okay, you are a great agent,

the way you made that happen. The way when a building that you didn't know was gonna collapse is collapsing below you, you just slide down the side of it, brush yourself off, and go back to doing your thing, you know? Well, they actually did that in Casino Royale.

There was a scene where he was... That's your favorite film ever made. It is literally... I just saw it last night with my kids and I'd seen it before and I remember it being one of my favorite movies. Confirmed.

One of my top five Kids, stay awake. Bond's about to get his balls whacked. That was uncomfortable. Not just for him. Why is it your favorite film ever made?

Because to me it was like I felt like you guys. I was out on Bond. I was done. And then I went to see it because I'd heard good buzz about the Daniel Craig reboot. And I went in and it was so different. It was

like the moment where he's sitting in the shower with her after the murder and he's vulnerable. That was the first time he'd ever been emotional. And he's such a fucking good actor. The action scenes were great and I really was back in. And he's such a fucking good actor and the action scenes were great and I really was back in and now I'm back out

after this last one. I thought Sean Connery was pretty emotional when he strangled that lady. She asked for it. Sean Connery, I was watching... He's a brute.

You're going to say The Rock. I was watching The Rock and he's amazing in it. He's amazing in The Rock. No, but like, if you watch... I was just watching Dr. No and Goldfinger. Why?

Because they were on planes. Oh, okay. Easy. That's how I saw yours. What flight it is. He could only watch Man Up so many times. Oh, here it is in Mandarin. But no, and Sean Connery was mean.

He was a fucking evil, mean assassin who also was charming. And so I like that Daniel Craig has sort of gone back to that. If you're an assassin, you're going to be a fucking evil, sinister dude and justifies it, oh, queen and country or whatever. So I like that Daniel Craig was sort of more like Connery. It wasn't all flim-flammy like Roger Moore and whatnot. I like that Daniel Craig was sort of more like Connery. It wasn't all flim-flammy like Roger Moore and whatnot.

But I feel like the franchise won't... It wasn't a Sam Mendes movie. It was a Bond movie that Sam Mendes directed. And they're going to just make everybody sort of fit in that mold, no matter who they are. But then Casino Royale was Martin Campbell, and that was like... It was much more fun as a film, but it had emotional punch as well.

Much more Campbell, I would say. Campbellesque. Campbellesque. Campbellesque. Yeah, I say about his films, mm, good. You know? You want to use a fork, but you use a spoon to get every drop of the movie.

I think the biggest crime was Spectre, as she says, really pronouncing it. I thought it obviously was Spectra. Spectra, of course. And then she says in the film, she's like, really pronouncing it. I thought it obviously was spectra. Spectra, of course. And then she says in the film, she's like, it's specter. And I just found it really boring. I felt angry while I was watching it because I was like, this is, nothing is happening.

It's just set piece, set piece, set piece, set piece. And there's no, like, at least Skyfall had that nice emotional punch between Dame Judi Dench and Daniel Craig. And it was all about kind of like, you know, mother, son sort of shit. So that one appealed to me. Yeah, I was happy she was gone at the end of that one.

Yes, I was too. Because I thought this one would be more fun. But then they did that weird thing where she came back in that video message to him. Yes, more spoilers. That's not really a spoiler. We spoil the whole thing for you anyway. I don't want to spoil it,

but the opening scene was obviously, we talked about, it was crazy. Was that the opening scene, the building falling down? Well, yeah, that's the other thing about James Bond. When he gets in that helicopter, he just sort of jumps in there and starts fighting guys, even though they're in a helicopter. And there's hundreds of people, thousands of people below them, and he's putting all of them in jeopardy just to get these two guys.

He's not good at what he does. No. No, he's not playing the numbers on that. I also feel like I love Jason Bourne so much now. I feel like he's usurped Bond for me in many ways. That's why Bond jumps off of buildings

now, because he's got a parkour just like Bourne. They just have to adopt whatever's going on in action movies. But Kingsman, The Secret Service and Colin Firth are the best Bond and Bond movie of this or any other year.

I have not seen that film. I love it. Is it good? It's really good. It's really violent, though. Yeah, but is it actually good, though? The second half, it lost me in the second half.

But very stylish, though, you know, like more fun. There's nothing fun about this Spectre. No, there's no fun, apart from the mouse plot point, and that's quite funny.

Yeah. Just fucking watch Mouse Hunt or something. Yeah. Or Stuart Little. If you're that into mice. Watch Mouse Hunt. Stuart Little. Well, I'm watching it in the...

So the opening scene is the building falls down. And then there's a crazy car chase scene. And then there's a second car chase scene about 40 minutes in. And the guy two rows behind me goes yeah right. Like they were going it must have been a little bit faster than that second one. Here's a fun idea.

Let's give Bond a gadget car where the gadgets aren't installed yet. So he's just flipping switches hoping it'll do something. So dumb. It was like a beta Bond car. Yeah. All right, well, that was a fun discussion about Spectre.

We didn't talk about any other movies, but this is the part of the show where I say, let the games begin! People brought name tags. You guys each have to pick one. Go physically grab the name tag you'd like to play for. There's some really really good stuff out there. I think you guys you'll have a tough choice unless you just grab one like that.

Interesting. Did not though that went exactly how I expected it to go. But I feel bad that the Willy Wonka... You came here all the way from Nova Scotia with a Willy Wonka thing, so... Honestly, I didn't get it because I thought I was being nice. I just figured somebody else wanted it. Something... Oh, it's great.

It's a stuffed animal. This is a great one. I mean, it's a stuffed version of the robot from the new Star Wars. What? But reach into the bag, Jenny, and just take any prize you want out of the bag. Whatever you like in there. Just one.

Don't go crazy. Because that's a really good name tag. She came all that way with it. Is she going to try on this? She wants to see how everything feels, I guess. Yeah. She's like a proctologist. She got the T-shirt, Doug Loves Movies T-shirt.

There you go. Thanks, Jenny. Hey! I spent a few days in Nova Scotia earlier this year. I know. That's why I'm wearing this Trailer Park Boys hoodie. We're from the town they're from. You're from the town they're from in the show?

Dartmouth. Dartmouth? But they shoot now're from in the show? Dartmouth. Dartmouth? But they shoot now in Truro, right? Yeah. Okay. Greg, you've got the stuffed BB-8, and they put a sign on it that says The Michelle Awakens,

because that's her name, Michelle. Star Wars The Michelle Awakens. Yeah. Yeah, it looks like it was actually handmade. And the head, the beautiful thing is, actually spins all the way around again and again. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Is that the Mandarin version of Star Wars?

This little guy says, fuck you, R2-D2. I do a lot more crazy shit than you do. Nice. Nice. It's beautiful. I could sleep with this. It's very soft, actually, isn't it? It's got a nice little velour touch to it. Do you use it as a pillow?

That'd be a classic nerdy move to use that as your airplane pillow. Like you're just sitting on a plane. But if you were on a plane, you could watch Man Up while you were... Yeah, sleep through Man Up on your Star Wars pillow. Who are you playing for, Tess? I'm playing for Purple Nick. It's a poster of the film Purple Rain starring the Purple One. Can we say Prince now, the symbol?

Whatever you want to call it. He's Prince again. Do you know what I never realized? Directed by Albert Magnoli, who I have no idea who he is. He was a... I believe he was like a music executive was he

type or a music video director yeah I picked it because I feel emotional when I see anything concerning Prince so

yeah you just grabbed that right away and because I'm pregnant now that I've touched it because Prince is there okay I think it's because you're British

you just like anything with royalty in the name it's true that's the other reason as well yeah Graham well I too chose a Nick I chose a gentleman that took the poster

for Ex Machina and he put Doug your face on the lady yeah looking the wrong way weird looking weird looking AI that has some rotating face and changed it to ex-Machinic. He has lights on it. I'm a sucker for lights.

Yeah, it's on a stick and it lights up. Light stick. There is a picture of you over prints as well. I forgot to say that to you, Doug. It's really well done. It's very realistic. A little black and white photocopy version of my face taped on

there. in color. That would have helped matters. But it got picked, so, you know. It's true. Any amount of

criticism, how could it hurt you? You succeeded. Some other people tried really hard, and you won. So good for you. Let's play some

games. Yeah. That's the idea of this part of the show, and we're going to play a game that's fairly new And a favorite amongst maybe a few people out there It's called Doug Loves Musicals Yeah, see, there you go

A few people like it I'm going to list a bunch of songs from a movie musical And you just say into your microphone, you can guess as many times as you want, just first person who guesses the name of the correct name of this movie musical is the winner of this game. I'm nervous.

Do you like musicals? Yes and no. So it'll be interesting. What don't you like about them? Well, I like some musicals and I don't like others. Oh, okay. Maybe me and Graham will guess the movies and then you say yes or no.

Yes. That's like if somebody said, do you like comedies? Yes and no. No. I like good ones. I'm a real stickler. Do you like James Bond movies?

Yes and no. No. I like the good one. It was called Octopussy. Yeah. All right. Which movie musical has all of these songs in it? I like the good one. It was called Octopussy. Yeah. Which movie musical has all of these songs in it? There's a song in it called Maybe.

There's a song called Let's Go to the Movies. Oh, Annie. Did you like that musical? Yes. Because it was terrible, the movie version of Annie. It was so good. Let's go to the movie. Is that how it goes? Yeah, let's, and they do the dance,

and they spin on the chair. Oh, shit. I can't believe it. I'm going to get fucking crushed in this round. I thought I was going to get way deeper into it before. No. Because there's a song called Sign. Do you remember how that one goes?

Maybe. No. Easy Street. I know that one. Easy Street. I think I'm gonna like it here you're never fully dressed

without a smile it doesn't go like that you're singing it oh Sandy there's a song about Sandy Grease yeah it's a hard knock life

but that if you said that we all would have got it. Yeah, that would have been, well, I don't know. Then the game would be over. Tomorrow, that's a famous one from that one. Right, perfect. Little Girls. I used to be scared of that film.

I was scared of Albert Finney in it. Wait, you know he plays a character who's benevolent and nice. No, he's not. He's Daddy Warbucks. He's scary and he's got issues and he doesn't love her at first. Oh, that's true nice and doesn't no he's not he's Daddy Warbucks he's scary and he's like got you know issues and he doesn't

love her at first oh that's true he doesn't love her at first yeah that's the reason to be scared I was confused Daddy Warbucks and Fatty Arbuckle

which I shouldn't because one's benevolent yeah one's a lot nicer than the other one We Got Annie was the last song I was going to

mention by name because then you'd all yell out Annie of course. But you got it right away. Great job, Tess. Sorry about that. Holy shit.

Yeah, you should feel proud about it. Extra points for singing it. But here's the weird thing about that movie. Did you like the little girl who played Annie, Eileen Quinn? You know what? She's probably the weakest thing in it overall, I would say. Yeah, I like the little girl that sings You're Never Fully Dressed Out with the little

black sort of fringe sort of hair. I like, what's her, Carol Burnett is like the best thing kind of in it, surely.

But this poor little girl, Eileen Quinn, I don't even know if she's ever worked again, she won a Razzie for that movie. That seems really uncool. That's really mean.

Why give a fucking kid a Razzie when there's adults that are probably in the same category that they probably suck just as much and they're adults

and there's no excuse. But that's why she hasn't worked again. Maybe. Wow. That's like, hey pumpkin, you want to be in a movie?

Yay! You suck! Like that's fucking, oh my god. And they gave her the Razzie for best supporting actress. The movie's called Annie. Oh, that's,

oh my god. I think that's... Oh, my God. I think that explains why we haven't seen her in anything since. Yeah. Poor girl. Poor, poor girl. All right, let's play another game. Let's play ABCD's Nuts, you guys. Do it.

Yeah, this is... Suck it. This is a game where it's a spelling game. We're going to go through a couple of words and spell them. And when I go from person to person, I'll give you a letter. The next letter in that word, all you got to do is name any movie that starts with that letter. Sounds easier than it is, strangely enough. And then if you match the movie I wrote down ahead of time then you automatically

win this game wow shit and since Tess won the last game we're going to start with her and then we'll go

to Greg and then to Graham I don't really understand but just go I'll try you're going to be alright because I'm going to walk you through it

okay good we're going to spell baby Hitler it's all in the news lately that somebody said to Jeb Bush would you kill baby Hitler if you had the chance Hitler. It's all in the news lately. That somebody said to Jeb Bush, would you kill baby Hitler if you had the chance?

And he said, yes. And it's like, what kind of crackpot is going to just take somebody's word? Yeah, this baby's going to... He's going to be in a lot of trouble someday. Let's kill him. I saw someone on Twitter then put, would you go back in time and kill your dad to save the 500,000 Iraqis that were killed? Oh, that you fucking moan at.

Baby Hitler. So the first letter, of course, is B in Baby Hitler. So just name any movie that begins with the letter B, Tess. Well, I'll just say Bringing Up Baby then. That's a great way to play it. Thank you. I love it, because I went with bringing up baby then. That's a great way to play it. Thank you. I love it because I went with

baby's day out. I could have done baby boom. There's no reason to keep guessing. Sorry. There is another B coming up. I'll save that one. Okay.

A is your letter, Greg. Amelie. Okay. You pronounced it so great that I started thinking I began with an E or a Y I saw it at the Man's Chinese Theater It's a great movie

I love that, Emily I went with Adam's Family Values Because it features baby Pugsley And he's a baby with a mustache So he's one of my favorite babies ever Graham The next letter is a B, of course Baby's Day Out with a mustache. So he's one of my favorite babies ever. Graham, the next letter is a B, of course.

Baby's day out. Oh. You think I just put it on there twice? Oh, did someone say that already? That's what I said was what I picked

for the first B. Wow. Is that the one that's got the amazing sequence where it goes up on the, like, you know, the building site

and the baby keeps moving? The baby goes through all sorts of crazy shit that would give the parents a heart attack if they saw any of it. But it's baby's day out, so the parents aren't around. He's got to go out.

Yeah, and then eventually the baby lights Joe Mantegna's balls on fire with a Bic lighter. It's a bad home alone. Yeah. B, Graham. Baby's day out. Okay.

No, all right. You can stick with that. Bridget Jones' Diary. Oh, nice. I went with Baby Mama. The next letter is Y, Tess. For me? Yeah.

Oh, shit. Y is, oh, fuck. What words begin with Y? You. Yeah, there's tons of movies that begin with the word you. You. No, I'm just trying to think of words that begin with Y? You. Yeah, there's tons of movies that begin with the word you. No, I'm just trying to think of words that begin with Y. There's a Bond movie that begins with it. A Bond movie that begins with it?

Yeah. Oh, You Only Live Twice. There you go. I went with young adult. Because that's what baby Hitler is. Oh, I see. Young adult. Right.

See, now I'm young Frankenstein. Can I have that instead? Nope. I mean, you can. It Ah, I see. You're a young adult. Right. See, now I'm the young Frankenstein. Can I have that instead? Nope. I mean, you can. It doesn't matter. It doesn't change anything, really. H, Greg. Happy Gilmore.

There you go. I went with a movie from 1943 called Hitler, Dead or Alive. That Letter Molden did not like. I, Graham. How about Isle of Dr. Moreau? Oh. Hello. Critical success.

Did you say isle or island? Island. Island. Also, I think it's the island. The island. The island. I, the island? The island. The island. I am the island of Dr. Mullah. Sticking with the Hitler thing, I went with Inglourious Bastards.

Oh. Okay. So your next letter is T, Tess, which really opens up the field for you because there's lots of movies that begin with the. Tree of Life, whatever that talent one was. I didn't enjoy. That's called Tree of Life, that talent one was I didn't enjoy that's called Tree of Life right

is it yeah you didn't like that Tree of Life I love Tree of Life people are so into it it's about you know

no I just was spanking a few what's her name what I did like Brad Pitt in it I thought Brad Pitt was great in it

it's called Tree of Life was it Trees of Life but Brad Pitt's not in those scenes where there's dinosaurs. Jesus Christ. It was like a nature program that was not very interesting. Maybe it's about people that are super into it have

kids or something? Is that why you liked it? It's about grace. It's about that sort of ephemeral, whether or not you believe in God or not, it's about these moments in life that transcend. And to me, as a deeper spiritual person

than the other panelists, I think it just appealed to me for whatever reason. Like Benjamin Button, sort of. Right. That was a curious case. Do we have any Bs left?

It's a curious case. It was really odd, that case. It was like, what is going on with this guy? Like, are there even scenes in that movie where anybody's concerned about what's going on with Benjamin Button?

Everybody's like, yeah, there's this kid growing backwards. Let's not dwell on it. I'd still watch that. Just try to meet up with him in the right parts of his life. Everybody's different. Just let him live. For tea, I went with The Hand That Rocks

the Cradle. Oh, I talked about that today, in fact. How weird. Really? I talked about Carrie Ells doing an accent in it,

a British accent, even though he is British. Who? Carrie Ells. Anyway, don't worry. It's fine. Move on. Carrie Ells?

What did I say? Whatever. I've never known exactly how to say it. Exactly. But he's British in that? No, he is actually a British man. But we think of him now as American,

but he's actually born in England. I don't think of him much at all. I do. I didn't even see Saw. See Saw. You don't think about the Princess Brides once a week or so? Okay, that'll do, pig.

Okay. No, that's not the line from that movie. What does he say? As you wish. As you wish, that'll do, pig. Okay. No, that's not the line from that movie. What does he say? As you wish. That'll do, pig. That'll do, pig. That's how he gets the love of his life back, by calling his favorite lady a pig.

Oh. We should do something on YouTube with that. Oh, God. L, Greg. Little movie that begins with L. Little Shop of Horrors. Oh, you were so close. Little Women.

Little Fuckers. Little Fuckers. Little Fuckers. E, Graham. I have an E one, but I'm trying to think of whatever your baby-themed E is. It's either Hitler or baby themed. Think of movies that have Hitler or babies.

Oh, we're supposed to have themed it. I totally missed that. You kind of figure it out as we go, or you don't. Either way, it's fun for me. Yeah. Is it like... What letter you are?

What was that one? Eagle's Nest? There's no way you're going to get this right. Let me just lay this out now, and this seems like a mind fuck, but I've got R, and I know what it is, so get it.

You need to get it. All right, everybody's all American. There you go. There's an E1. Okay, I went with embryo. Oh. Okay. Holy shit.

Yeah, I went really deep on the baby theme. Wow. You've got an R. Do you want... I've got an R that is the right answer. Did anybody see embryo? Nobody? You've got to see it for no other reason.

There is a scene... Oh, wait. You're R. Yeah, she's R. Oh, I don't have it. There is a scene... Oh, wait, you're R. Yeah, she's R. There's a scene where there's a big... Hang on, I'm talking embryo for a second. There's a scene where there's a big dog that picks up a poodle in its mouth,

shakes it until it's dead, and then drops it in a hedge. In a movie called Embryo. Please tell me that's the movie poster no the movie poster is pro-choice do you have an r movie test well i do now and then we'll see what greg's is oh he whispered it to you well he gave it to me and i you know i obviously would have said this anyway because it's baby related and begins with R, and it's raising Arizona. That is good.

Is it right? I could do you one better, though. Oh. Rosemary's baby. Oh! That's a Hitler baby. That is a total Hitler baby. Such a Hitler baby. The ultimate Hitler baby.

Oh, my God. Yeah. That was super fun. Nobody won. Wait, I... I think Greg won, really. Deep down, yeah. Yeah, inside.

He had the best guesses. There was a moment of confidence I showed. Yeah. I really thought, oh, he came up with Rosemary's Baby. He's pulling it. And I didn't understand it until literally the last beat of the game.

I had the wrong letter, so... Yeah. But both great films. Let's admit. Good stuff. Let's just say that. Really? Really.

Baby Makes Three would have been my next letter. What? B, right? Hitler. Hitler Baby? Baby Hitler? Do you want to go back around Baby Hitler baby I'm getting a contact high

From your crowd Stop putting it on them That's not what this show's about It's very straight edge people Come to this one This isn't my weed show Where we don't have an audience. But did you guys,

has anybody heard last night's episode of the show? Oh, okay, cool. All right, so we're going to play Last Man Stanton now. And nothing? Nothing? And this is a game where we get an actor or actress. I like to play along in this game.

And we all take turns naming movies that person was in. If you can't think of one, you're out. Out. But you get to go first, Tess. And then we'll go to Graham. Come on, Tess. Okay. Because I like switching the order around.

That's right. People write to me on Twitter all the time. I've got a perfect name for Last Man Stanton tonight, and I try to pick somebody just fairly randomly. Is JP Colon 84 in the house? Oh, I thought that was the name of the actor. I was like, shit, I don't know any of those films. Yes, yes.

The films of JP Colon. All right. Born in 1984. He sounds like The films of J.P. Cullen. All right. Born in 1984. He sounds like a gay porn star. Yeah. J.P. Cullen. Baby's Day In. Yeah, let's see.

Hot Flip the Musical. That would have been bad. No, it's this fellow over here. It's his name and he's going to suggest somebody. Also, let me see your name tag for a second. He made a very clever name tag

because he made the Hunger James. And then also it's a... It's got donuts inside, right? Oh, there we go. You want a donut, Greg? Yeah, I'll take a donut.

There you go. I'm going to take this one and throw it at that guy. He just has a good catch. I'm okay. I like to throw them hard. All right. Right here. Nice toss.

Good hands. Come on, nerd. Good hands. Two hands. You don't bat it down. You grab it. You don't fight it. Jesus Christ.

Do you want to do one more, Graham? Yeah, I'll toss another one. All right. Someone get a hard on. Oh! Yeah. Let's ring toss it. All right, someone get a heart on. Oh! Yeah. Let's ring toss it. Yeah, who's got a ring toss?

All right, dude. Back row. Let's look at that. See that? That's how it's done. See how everybody did it? Good job. Look at me, friend.

Get your fucking eyes front. Right here. Thanks for coming out. We appreciate you standing around. It's always good to have you guys here. He ate it off the floor? Oh, my God. Yeah.

Syphilis. Syphilis. I'm sorry. Oh, there's nothing worse than floor syphilis that you get from eating floor food. Oh, God. Yeah, donuts off the floor. Now your girlfriend's not going to kiss you,

but that's cool. She's like, I don't do it. You guys can find the weirdest shit to get offended at. Do you know that? You guys are like,

wait a minute. You know, it's a small theater. It's 99 people, so there's probably 10 people outside that didn't get in that, you know,

would love all of it. There's 10 people outside that would have been awesome. The people who got here late are probably up for anything and won't get offended but people are here early they have specific

entertainment needs. That's right. That makes sense. I get it. They don't need you bringing up all this bullshit. Quick question for J... I just spit

because I'm eating a donut. Quick question J.P I just spit. Because I'm eating a donut. Quick question, J.P. Cullen. What films have you been in? Not that fresh. When did you purchase the Dunkin' Donuts? This afternoon. This afternoon?

All right. But they were probably a batch from this morning. Right. Probably afternoon donuts. You drove far to get here? Oh, wow. Listen to that guilt trip.

I drove kind of far. Sorry they're not warming up. Well, I know because it's really hard to find a Dunkin' Donuts. So I guess you had to buy it far away and then import it.

Did you know there's areas in Boston where there's a Dunkin' Donuts on all four corners? It's like Starbucks and other places. All right. Let's go to the Dunkin'.

Give me one light and sweet and a Cruella. It's like Starbucks in other places. All right. Let's go to the Dunk Kid. Give me one light and sweet and a crella. So JP colon 84 has got a perfect suggestion for us. He's going to lay it on me right now. Lay it on me.

Here we go. Patrick Stewart. Wow. Well, oh my God. Really? Give the donuts back, guys. That's... That's one movie.

That's my weakest link. All right, well, let's try it. I think it's going to be over pretty fast. Let's give it a whirl, see what happens. Tess, start us off. What, X-Men? Which one? I mean, can I...

Well, I mean... Let's divide them up a bit. I'll do the first one. She's going with just X-Men. I've just gone with Charles Xavier in the first one. To Star Trek The Next Generation. Well, you can have a few Star Treks, can't we? Yeah, you better be careful, buddy. We need an exact title.

Well, I mean, it's pretty obvious. JP's bragging about how hard this one is. I don't think that's what we were looking for, is one that's this difficult. What was the one with the Borgs? You got two major franchises to choose between. But it is getting the words after the colon. Star Trek's the next generation.

Whether or not it's got a fucking number in there or not. My girlfriend's a huge Star Trek fan. She's very mad right now. She's annoyed with you. She's not even listening. She's just sensing that you're fucking up. She's here. Oh, she is?

She was here. You came not... Oh, she is? Oh, I didn't know she was here. I didn't see... She's got secret powers. You came in alone. I can't, you know. Why is this so difficult? That's weird, isn't it? Because he's like,

in England, I can do some stage plays with films. That's harder with Patrick Stewart. Sir Patrick Stewart. You could name some of his stage plays?

All right, here, I'll just do this one. I'll just do this one. Jeffrey. He was in the, there was a play called Jeffrey that was made into a film. Made into a film.

Patrick Stewart's in it. There's a great scene in it where he plays a gay guy. Not Peter at all. You're not thinking Peter at all. No, he's in it. Okay.

Yeah. It's a guy from Wayne's who's the lead. Bullshit. Get it on your fucking phone. Get it on your phone. I swear to God. He's in a movie

called Jeffrey. It's just Jeffrey. Welcome to Doug Loves Theater. Yeah. J-E-F-F-R-E-Y. Jeffrey. Jeffrey? Yeah. Jeff. You know who was in that? Jeffrey Ross was in that. Oh, that guy. I swear to Christ.

There's a great scene where he's like a gay fashion guy and there's a waiter that comes up and Patrick Stewart goes, oh, your earring. What fun. Last year. And it's like, oh, it's a big slam. It's hilarious. But it is. Hey, Doug.

Hey, it's Ryan. Oh, Ryan in the booth. Hey, I looked up Jeffrey, and Patrick Stewart is in Jeffrey. OK. Thank you. Is Jeffrey Ross in Jeffrey? In your face, bitch. And isn't also

Leif Garrett in it? Okay. I will go with... I'll say Star Trek Generations. All of them. No, just Star Trek Generations. It's a very specific title.

I'm going to go with... Star Trek. I'm out of the game. Oh, no. Yeah. Tess? I've never seen a Star Trek movie. What's the second X-Men?

Well, you've probably never seen Hitler either, but you've heard of him. What? What is it? You know what his first... You know what his full name is. Yeah, he's got it. His first movie is awesome.

Mein Kampf. Fucking beautiful. They made a movie of that? No, actually, that was his first. No, his first movie actually was Trying for the Will, the Lenny Rufenstahl directed. A little bit of nerd trivia for you. How about that, kids?

It's a Nazi propaganda movie. Isn't it weird, though, that Patrick Stewart has, because, like, he, I only know Patrick Stewart as, like, old Patrick Stewart. Like, he must have, Is Jeffrey quite an old film? No, it came out in the 90s. I'm just thinking, I think of him, and I think really his career has been in the last 10, on film.

I know him just from two massive behemoth Trek and X-Men. So that's all you've got to do is name any of those movies. Yeah, but I just can't remember the title. So X-Men, it's not Origins, is it? Is he in Wolverine? of those movies. Yeah, but I can't, I just can't remember the title of the, like they're called, so X-Men, it's not Origins, is it? Is he in Wolverine?

Maybe he's in Wolverine. I'm sure he's in Wolverine. He's got to have a cameo in Wolverine. He's got to be in Wolverine, yeah. Even if he isn't, I'm going to give you credit for it.

I'm going to give you credit for it even if he's not in Wolverine. Thank you. I think he shows up at some point sure yeah

even if on a video message like a Skype call or something yes exactly he does Skype into Wolverine hear that doot doot

music and then hey Wolverine what's up mate you know and it's great poor connection

yeah it's like an awkward sequence because he gets interrupted while he's making love to Magneto and then they have to Skype Graham Yeah, it's like an awkward sequence because he gets interrupted while he's making love to Magneto. Yeah, it's really weird. And then they have to Skype.

Graham? X-Men First Class. That's it! Boom! That's the one. Is that the third one? Oh, shit. Because it's when they're all young.

Yeah. He's in it. He's in it. He's definitely in it. Yeah, that one scene. No, wait. I'm sure he's in it. That scene where he's definitely in it yeah that one scene no wait I'm sure he's in it that scene where he's gay

and Wolverine has an earring and he's like last year and it's like yeah everybody gets it the one he's he's definitely in

X-Men Days of Future Past right which is what I said oh you know what he can't be in it because isn't isn't Fassbender him in it or McAvoy

isn't McAvoy but they always flash back McAvoy's here McAvoy? Isn't McAvoy? But they always flash back. McAvoy's him. You hear his voice and he's like, hello. I'm adopted from future past

or whatever. He doesn't even get his, he gets his cool wheelchair at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. Okay, there must be a flashback.

It's James McAvoy, it's not. Right, but then Patrick Stewart comes in. No, he doesn't. No, I don't think so. I believe Garrett Will's a man and that's like. Right, but then Patrick Stewart comes in. No, he doesn't. Dave Garrett wills a man and that's like.

Come on, we've got to think of another film that isn't one of these. You have to specifically because it's between you and me now for the win.

Gandhi. Do you know what? In my head, I was thinking. I think that was Ben Kingsley. Nah, it's the same guy. Hello,

mate. Oh, getting away from England. Has Patrick Stewart been knighted? Is he Sir Patrick? He knighted is he Sir Patrick he's Sir totally Sir Patrick Stewart

but we don't call him that here for some reason no but it's only Sir Ben Kingsley is the one that wants to be called Sir Ben Kingsley you have to call him

well like a lot of them like being called Sir but like Michael Caine probably doesn't mind not being called Sir I don't think Patrick minds as much either yeah they're cool guys

yeah but what fucking film has he been in that's not a franchise film I can't think of any you know what he's in what I think he's in oh I'm not that confident though but I think he been in that's not a franchise film? I can't think of any. You know what he's in? What?

I think he's in, oh, I'm not that confident though, but I think he's in Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet, but I could be really wrong. I think you're wrong. Fuck.

No, he's not. Yeah, I don't think he is. He's got to be in like a shape. You're thinking of Jack Lemmon.

No, I'm not. He's Polonius. Jack Lemmon. I mean, you're thinking of Walter Moutown. No,

Walter Moutown. They're both in that movie. Really? Yeah. Yeah, he's Polonius, isn't Jack Lemmon? No, he's not. They're in it. Robin Williams is in it too. I think, I mean you're thinking of Walter Moutown no Walter Moutown they're both in that movie really yeah yeah he's Polonius isn't Jack Lemmon no he's not they're in it

Robin Williams is in it too I think is he and Kiefer Branagh's Branagh's has a lot of famous people in it yes no I know

that's why I just picked Patrick Stewart for that Sir Patrick Stewart it was a good try thank you let me think of another one real quick

god it's so funny I can't think of the names of the another one real quick. God, it's so funny. I can't think of the names of the later Star Treks. I know all the early ones. And then... Star Trek Spring Break. Anyway, I win anyway. So I'm just going to say

Star Trek Back to College. Did they call... I think X-Men 2 was just called X2? Yeah. Okay, so that's that one. X-Men United? X2, X-Men United. See, I fucked it up, so I didn't get the full title. You're out.

Yeah, but he's a tough one. That is a tough one. He doesn't have like a giant, he doesn't have like 30 films. And the ones he does have, the titles are tricky to remember. Except for Jeffrey. But thank God you came up with Jeffrey. And don't forget Jeffrey 2.

The Shining. And is Jeffrey an origin story? Yeah, Jeffrey is an origin story. Alright, let me hear the ones we missed, you guys. Men in tights. Robin Hood. Yeah, yeah. First job, first job. All right, let me hear the ones we missed, you guys. Come on. Robin Hood, Men in Tights. Men in Tights. Oh, God, of course. Robin Hood, Men in Tights.

First Contact. First Contact. Conspiracy Theory. Gibson. He's in Conspiracy Theory. Yes. The Last Stand, X3. X3.

X-Men 3. L.A. Story. L.A. Story. I remember him in that. First Contact. The what? He's a Mater D in L.A. Story. Oh, I don't remember Contact. The what? He's a maitre d' in L.A. Story. Oh, I don't remember.

At a fancy... Who is he in First Contact? He's a maitre d' at a not fancy restaurant. Oh. You know how they have maitre d's at restaurants that aren't fancy. He plays Dune. That was a... What happened?

What? Dune. Dune? He's in Dune? Yeah. What's he play in Dune? Bernie Heller. I love that you knew the name I didn't recognize what you said

Star Trek Nemesis But you know what I'm relieved that it's not like everyone's had lines Normally when we play this game everybody's yelling out to it but everyone's on the same page as us He hasn't done enough to justify it He's in more films than Patrick Stewart JP in my mind on the same page as us. Yeah. He hasn't done enough to justify it. So good job, JP.

I think that he's in more films than Patrick Stewart. JP, in my mind. Probably is. But now I want to... JP Cullen in... Graham?

X... You've been spewing out titles all night. What a fun improv game. JP Cullen in... I don't know. X-Trek. X-Men on ice.

Frozen Steel. Patrick Stewart. Are you looking him up now? Pick any car on the island, go. That's not a movie. He was in, he's been in movies

since 1975. Well, not that many. Yeah, he was in a movie back then with Glenda Jackson called Hedda. And then he was in Excalibur, John Borman's classic. Oh, wow. And The Plague Dogs, which is an animated thing. No. Then he was in Dune, as mentioned.

And then Codename Emerald with Ed Harris. The Doctor and the Details, Lady Jane. ed harris the doctor in the details lady jane life force he's in life force the great toby hooper's life force gunman the page master there's jeffrey from 95 there it is your favorite film star trek first contact that was mentioned conspiracy theory masterminds from 1997 whatever that is is. The Prince of Egypt, another animated thing. Star Trek Insurrection, X-Men. X-Men, X-Men, X-Men. He was a voice in Jimmy Neutron, boy genius. Star Trek Nemesis.

Oh, X2, it's just X2 according to Leonard. So I got that right. Oh, this is an anime. At first I was like, why would he be in something called Steam Boy? Wow. He was also a voice. He's done a lot of voices.

He was a voice in Chicken Little. He was in The Game of Their Lives. X-Men Last Stand. He was a voice in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That was just the initials, TMNT. How do we not get that? And he was also a voice in Gnomeo and Juliet. Ah.

You see, Shakespeare. Shakespeare. Patrick fucking Stewart. Well, that was rough, but you won, Tess. You did it. No, I didn't win. You pulled it out.

Well, with Wolverine. Yeah. With Wolverine, which we haven't even verified for sure, but I'm satisfied. You know what? We don't know for sure.

It didn't come up on his IMDb then, did it? No, well, I used the Leonard Maltin app and it's a dead app, so Wolverine's probably too recent.

Let me try it on IMDb. Yeah, because I don't want to take the prize if it's not actually my... He's in the post-credit sequence of Wolverine. Thank you. Oh, listen to that guy.

Thank you. He's in the post-credit sequence. So that's in the film. Somebody sticks around. Somebody stays in a seat like a loser. I waited until the end of the credits

of Spectre just thinking maybe something will happen at the end. I have to see the words James Bond will return. Because they put that at the end every time. My IMDB is not working so I'm going to trust this guy knows everything. But if he's in the post-credits, then he's in the film.

What's that? He played Scrooge in the Christmas Carol. Oh, Christmas Carol. Oh, is he? Oh, yeah. A made-for-TV one. Doesn't count, then. Does not count.

You just got out-nerded. This isn't Doug Love's made-for-TV movies. If it was, we'd talk about Brian's song exclusively. First movie I cried at. It's a great movie. Oh, I still cry at it every time. It's the saddest fucking thing. It's all just set up just to make you sad.

And that song is a very good song there that they play. Well, they're black and white, and they're friends. Yeah, it's a real story. And then Charles Durning, doesn't he play George Hallis, the coach of the Bears? I bet you it's not him. I don't think it's Charles Durning.

I think it's Jack Warden. Oh, you're right. It is Jack Warden. James Caan is John Cappelletti. I just made that up. Yeah. Oh, you did? No, is that right?

He plays Brian. He plays the guy that just answered a question. Yeah. And Gail Sayers is the other guy. I have no idea what you're talking about. That's American football. It's a boy movie. No, don't say that.

Don't say that. Is it a TV movie in America? TV movie, but it's the one that men cry at. It's the first and only movie that men cry at. When was it made? Like recently? No, probably 1972. Have you seen...

Yeah, it's old and it doesn't hold up at all. Like when you watch it, it's very... We don't really have TV movies at home like you do. Yeah, no, you have miniseries. Yes. And regular series that are short. Yeah, we don't have... That are only like four episodes or whatever. Yeah, one hour. Yeah, no, you have miniseries. Yes. And regular series that are short. Yeah, we don't have Mayfair. That are only like four episodes or whatever.

Yeah, one hour. Yeah, yeah. Did you, Greg, did you see Marley and Me? No. That's a tough one to not cry. That's a cry. Yeah? That's a cry one.

That's a tough one. Okay. I'll watch it. Should I watch it with my 15-year-old son? Oh, yeah. It'll be great. It'll be great. He needs to cry.

You'll get to see each other at your most emotionally vulnerable and probably not speak again for a few years. If he cries first, do you punch him? That's a fun game. Let's see who cries first. Oh shit, they're taking Marley to the doctor. You keep crying, I'm going to buy you a

small shirt just like your mother. You remember how she cried. All right, where's Nick to get this prize bag? There you go, buddy. Congratulations. All right, wow. It's the heaviest prize bag ever.

I gotta move, so I'm getting rid of a lot of stuff. You're moving? Yeah, yeah. Did you buy a place? No. No, no.

I'll tell you all about it later. Okay. If you need more paper, I've got more posters. Yeah, yeah. You have even more still? No, but... There's a few behind you there. I can get you some.

There's three hanging off the front, Doug. Yeah, yeah. You need wall stuff. Yeah. And now you got a new pillow, so... No, I don't. That's not mine. No, that's mine.

I don't need wall stuff Is there a shithead on the back of this, Michelle? No, I brought the right one Okay, you can just tell me one, tell me quietly Right now No, from your seat, don't come over here Just say it quietly The mics won't pick it up

Okay, that was really loud What'd you learn to whisper? Alec Baldwin? Is that a Friday night late show line that you use on the road? Yeah, what? Is that your Friday night late show line?

I've never said that before, but Alec Baldwin always sounds like he's whispering even in scenes when he's yelling. All right, so I got that one,

and Graham, is there a shithead on the back of yours? Yes, sir. And what do you got to plug Graham what are your plugs we're just finishing up earbuds the podcasting documentary we are submitting it to festivals

it'll be available and of course listen to comedy film nerds podcast great podcast thanks dude I'm gonna listen good that was really I don gonna listen good that was really I don't know why that sounded really rude

good good for you Limey good fucking English broad is gonna dial in a fucking download good for you

no you're very sweet and kind thank you we'll have you on the show it'll be great this crowd gets quiet so it makes it seem like there's an argument

on stage when there isn't one we're not quiet I just threw BB-8 back. Tess, your motion picture, Man Up, when can we see it not on a plane? Not on a plane. Man Up on a plane. You can see it at the Sundance Cinema this weekend.

Here in Los Angeles. We are, yeah. And in New York. It opens Friday here in New York. Friday, yes, it does. And then goes wider to 10 cities. Expanding. And then New York. It opens Friday here in New York. Friday, yes, it does. And then goes wider to 10 cities. Expanding. And then on demand a week later, I have to say.

VOD, as we like to call it. Yes, that digital download. Totally worth the six or eight bucks or whatever they charge you for. Or get a flight somewhere. Yeah, get the 787 Dreamliner, guys. Great ride across the big pond. You know what I mean? Smooth and easy.

Ha ha. Well, thank you very much for being here, Tess. And Greg, FitzDog Radio, iTunes, and all the places where you get podcasts. Right, and if you enjoy stand-up comedy, I'll be doing it at the Hollywood Improv on November 21st,

and then New Year's Eve in Portland at Helium. Nice! Yeah. That's a fun New Year's Eve. That's a great club. That'd be fun, right? Do you know that in Portland at Helium. Nice. Yeah. That's a fun New Year's Eve. That's a great fun. That'd be fun, right? Do you know that the building that Helium is in now has a dispensary where you can just walk right in and buy weed? No kidding. It's in the same building.

And you don't need a license there, right? No, you don't. And you can be from out of state, too. Wow. Yeah. That's a pretty sweet deal. And by the way, November 21st, if either of you gentlemen would like to perform on the show

come on down when? November 21st oh here in Hollywood Hollywood California I was going to say I'm in I can't make it to Portland

on New Year's Eve I'm in oh Graham's in okay I'm going to have to check let me just check let me just check real quick oh sorry

go see that show if you're in LA it sounds like fun Oh, sorry. Go see that show if you're in L.A. It sounds like fun. Douglasmovies.com is where all my shit is. And thank you one more time to Graham Elwood, Tess Morris, and Greg Fitzsimmons. Thank you, upright citizens. Excellent panel.

Apologies to whatever's happening after this show. We started a couple minutes late, so actually we're still ending a couple minutes early. What was that? There was donuts flying around still? Yeah, there was an extra half a donut. Give it to that guy that lands on the floor. He likes fucking Hep C. Now with Hep C.

And as always, climate change deniers are a shithead. Oh, we're not down with that. Okay, yeah, I'm sorry. Fuck those guys. It's a liberal myth. Okay.

Trump 16. And Nancy Grace is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him foggy. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.