Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood Guests

Episode Date: March 10, 2013

Doug Benson is joined by comedian Graham Elwood in a hotel room in Denver, CO and they plug some stuff and play Build-A-Title.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Loves Movies! at the Comedy Works. And my guest on that show and in this room is Graham Elwood. Hello. What kind of car are we driving, Graham? We are not in a car. We are in a hotel room, buddy. We did not rent a car for this engagement. No. Because once you're in downtown D,

you're good. You're set. You just take a taxi cab, get your flat rate $55 cab ride from Denver International, and bing bang, you're right downtown just take a taxi cab get your flat rate 55 cab ride from denver international and uh and bing bang you're right downtown big d yeah double dong you just run around in the fucking snow yeah it was snowing today when i flew in i'm amazed my flight was not canceled that was bizarre that was an act of god shit i got in on it a little early. Everything was fine. It was crazy.

Well, since I last spoke and you listened, I did a panel on the past and future guest Anthony Jeselnik's Comedy Central show, The Jeselnik Offensive, with the other panelist was past and future Douglas Mov movies guest Brian Posehn and it airs this Tuesday night March 12th and the show is appropriately named it is it is very Jessel Nick they take that in LA or New York that's Los

Angeles program Brody Stevens did the warm up. Nice. It's a really good show. I like the show. Getting to be on it with Brian and sit there and the first topic is that it looks like they've been able to cure AIDS in babies. That's great news.

Especially if you want to then do five minutes of babies with AIDS jokes. Who doesn't? Who doesn't want to then do five minutes of babies with AIDS jokes. Who doesn't? Who doesn't want to? So, yeah, we went off. It was so much fun. It'll be really interesting to see what gets on the air because we said a lot of really, really horrible things.

Speaking of things that are horrible, Graham. There are people out there that on iTunes and other places where you can write how you feel about this podcast have been, you know, it's only a few people but it still gets to you. It makes you think about it. There's a few people that are just like, the short episodes,

the mini episodes are stupid. All you do is tease us by talking about what happened at something you did or you just play a little part of something and we don't get to hear the whole thing and blah, blah, blah.

I just wanted to be on the record of saying that they're very clearly labeled so just don't listen to them. Yeah, you're stupid. If you can't figure that out... Yeah, if it's less than 40 minutes long, the episode, then it's probably something like this. And if it says something like hotel room

or rental car or CineFamily... Right, then you got it. You know what it is. You know what's going on. You know what you're getting. Those CineFamily shows, I love playing that first part for people

just because only 100 or so people get into CineFamily shows I love playing that first part for people just because only 100 or so people get into CineFamily and it's neat that I get such great guests and we all have such a good time we have fun and I'm trying to share it

we do have fun and these mini episodes are also they're very plug heavy because I don't want to spend a lot of time doing plugs in front of my guests

on the podcast when I have guests right and an audience and everything and I mean I still do them but I can do more

on these because this is more like people that really actually want to know exactly when I'm coming to their town will listen to this. And, you know, it's hard.

You don't want your whole Twitter feed to be nothing but promos, but mine sure is lately because I've got a lot of shit going on. A lot of business happening. Like, for example. Oh, yeah. Portland, Oregon. Oh, yeah. Portland, Oregon. Helium Comedy Club has agreed to let me do a Doug Loves Movies taping at 420 on Saturday, March 30th, along with the previously announced four stand-up comedy shows.

So bring your name tags to the stand-up shows, because we'll definitely play Leonard Maltin game with my support act, who is sitting right here. Hello. It's going to be you. I guess that's always a giveaway when we say that you're going to do stand-up with me,

and then there's also a Douglas Movies that you will be on, Douglas Movies as well. But I've also got, I got some good stuff cooking, man. For that show, I've got a guest that I think people will be very excited to see. And then I've got some interesting prospects in Atlanta. Walking Dead isn't shooting right now.

Well, hello. So that's sad because I would take any fucking actor from Walking Dead. Oh, that show's so great, man. I love it. I love it. Especially Norman Reedus would be a great Doug Loves Movies guest. take any fucking actor from oh that show's so great man i love it i love it especially norman reed this would be a great a great douglas movies guest we all we know of course that his brother merle yeah michael rooker was an amazing douglas movies guest so anyway there's other stuff going

on in atlanta if you live there and you're smart, you probably know about it. Or if you're dumb. It's not necessarily... It doesn't mean you're smart if you know what films and movies are being shot in and around Atlanta. But anyway, we've got some options. We'll be at the Punchline with that Douglas movies on March 24th, and we'll be at

like I said, in Portland on March 30th. It'll be a fun Douglas I said, in Portland on March 30th. It will be a fun Doug Loves Movies, also at 420. And another reason I like to do the mini-episodes is to throw in more attempts at comedy for people to enjoy, like doing a tweet relief, tweets about movies, at Delorium for Sale, who I think also did a Leonard Maltin category recently, because that's a weird Twitter name that I remember.

Anyway, Delorium for Sale tweeted, Oz the Great and Powerful is like a beautiful woman. Looks great, but has no substance, and James Franco is in it. This has been Tweet Relief Tweets About Movies. And another thing we can do is play

an audience favorite or listener favorite. Like, there are people out there that get disappointed when I, that I'm playing Build a Title

less frequently on the show. It's a great game. It's a really fun game, but I play it only on episodes where we have a lot of time

or the guests are going to understand what the fuck I'm talking about. Because when I just spring it on people, it's really hard to get behind. So I just went on Twitter moments before we started this hotel room mini boner shorty, and I typed in there, please send me some starter charter suggestions. Typed in there, please send me some starter-tarter suggestions. And since we're in Denver, the mile-high city, and this person's a smartass, at BS Salinas, it's a young lady, I believe,

suggested that we build a title with Super High Me. Ah! Eh? Or maybe we should do Greatest Movie Ever Rolled. That one's doable, right? Well, rolled. There aren't any movies that start with rolled. Not that I'm thinking of. Old, I guess you could get away with.

Sure. Old Man and the Sea or whatever. Well, stop. Old Gringo. We got it. Old Hogs. Start ruining it. Old Hogs.

What was that one called? Old Hogs? Hey, you guys remember Old Hogs? Hey, speaking of Hogs, before we do this, I almost forgot. Nice cock. We have to recap what happened tonight because I fucked up. Oh, goddammit. That was so fun.

We had such a fun Leonard Maltin game at the stand-up show today, and Graham picked a young lady from the audience named Andrea who had a huge Mr. and Mrs. Smith poster and changed it so it said Brad and Andrea instead of Angelina. Because her husband's name is Brad and they are the Smiths. Yeah. And so now they're Brandria. But she came up on stage and the Leonard Maltin game went thusly. We'll try to paint a picture for you. The category that she chose was called Reservoir Hogs,

and that's movies where a Reservoir Dogs actor shows off his dong in another motion picture. Movies with a Reservoir Dogs actor's dong. So already your heads are reeling. Like, when did we see Steve Buscemi's dong? Yeah. When did we see Tim Roth's dong? Did we see it when he was raping in that Scottish movie? John Roy, what was it called?

John Roy. John Roy. The comic? John Roy. John Roy. It's a movie about Tim Roth played John Roy. The comic? John Roy. John Roy. It's a movie about Tim Roth played John Roy. Yeah. And his crazy, crazy rapes that he did.

Anyway, I'll put that in the corrections department on the next one. John Roy movie. My point was, what was my point, Graham? That the weed is great in this town. So she picked Res hogs she picked that category and she also had in theaters now in another category to choose from oh emmanuel lewis it's his birthday today of course and uh so we're celebrating it in a hotel room that would have been fun if walking around going what you're talking about will? That's the wrong person.

It would have been a fun category to do. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to save it for tomorrow. Maybe somebody will pick it tomorrow. Okay. Maybe some wiseass on the show will think that. Because Emmanuel Lewis hasn't been in a lot of movies. Yeah, I think that's sort of self-explanatory yeah

but there's one that he was in that like if if it got played it would be fun so I'll try I'll try to force it I'll keep it as a category even though it won't be his

birthday I'm gonna keep it as a category until somebody but anyway Brandria picked she did a movie in negative one names and and I she said well yeah she's I said the clues let me let me and I couldn't... She said... Well, yeah, I said the clues.

Let me just... I won't fuck up the recording this time. But let me just give you what the clues were and stuff, so people can vicariously... And the people who hate this on these episodes can just be seething right now. 1993. Haunting, unpredictable tale of love and sex and then i also said that it won for best

screenplay at the oscars yeah 1993 yeah 1993 three and a half stars from leonard she did negative one out of date and she goes yeah eight names she goes no. I go, how many names can you get it in? And there's a little silence. And then Brad yells negative one, baby. And I was like, what the, how could he, what are you? Yeah. And then she goes negative one and he goes, she's great at this. And she goes, and she was like, yeah, negative one. Yeah. They were crazy. So cool. I know it's, they were crazy that was so cool I know this was one of the better ones for me to

accidentally not record so so yeah so she goes negative one and she's and she's you know and then I explain that

to the audience because I didn't even think we'd get into negatives man and and then she said the piano

and Holly Hunter and I was like I was sitting there I think and then you took your dong out like Harvey Keitel. And you ran around and said that you were a bad lieutenant. I'm a bad lieutenant. I need to be spanked.

And I said, yeah, the wolf. But she had a great sign, a great attitude. Great attitude. And then they came up after the show and they were like, they were like, Graham, we're from Philly. We came to the Comedy Film Nerds show in Philly that you and Chris did. And I'm like, I'm so glad when people like that win. They're super fans.

They're in town on vacation and just happened to find out that we were here performing and came to the show. Yeah, so we've got to find out what her name is and work it out somehow in some city somewhere so that she beat you with negative one so that means she qualifies for the

Tournament of Champions. She absolutely should. She's in the Tournament of Championships now. Yeah. That lady. Brandria. Andrea. It was Andrea from Walking Dead. So, so anyway, so that was really fun.

And so she's in the thing now. I'm writing it down. It's official. Lady from Denver that was visiting from Pennsylvania. Yeah. How can we do that? We're going to have to get you

and some other people that are in the next tournament just to wherever she can do it. We'll work something out. Maybe she wants to, maybe her and her man want to come out to L.A. That'd be an interesting way for her to see the show for the first time, to be on stage

maybe we do it at the Los Angeles Podcast Festival October 4th through the 6th that would be good but we gotta get her some people to compete against there's some great names in the hopper but it's people that are also hard to nail down

so it's gonna be a long tournament, you guys, so buckle in. March Madness is not an appropriate name for it. Several years of sadness, we'll call it. All right, so you had some time to think, Graham. What would you add to Super High Me? Me, myself, and Irene. Super high me, myself, and Irene. Irene is going to be hard to build on.

Irene. Ene. Ene Cred Incredibles. All right, so I got to say something blank super. The super. Oh, I know what I'll do. This won't make it too hard. In the soup-er.

Hi, me, myself, and Irene. In the soup? In the soup. What's that movie me, myself, and Irene. In the soup? In the soup. What's that movie? Some stupid-ass movie. Take my word for it. Oh, you're playing my game? No, no, I'll tell you.

It was a romantic comedy starring Saul Rubinick. He was so great in rom-coms. All right, so what is it now? It was kind of Woody Allen-esque, I think. It was kind of that sort of thing. Another Saul Rubinick vehicle? Okay. So I have in or...

Yeah, Irene. So good work there. Throwing a stopper down. Right, because there's no movie called Irene in Somebody. throwing a stopper down. Right, because there's no movie called Irene Somebody. So you just need

something that ends in in. Oh yeah, the big in. The big in? With Saul Rubinick? Saul Rubinick. Yeah. He plays an innkeeper in a snow lodge. Oh, I thought you meant the big in. That in a snow lodge.

Oh, I thought you meant the big inn. That's a big inn. Do you want to try another one? Happy Inn. Why are you doing this? I stood around in the smoke session after the show. You've got to remember. You've got to remember. You've got to contact me.

You've got to remember that, and this trips up people all the time, especially since you're not seeing it. I get to look at it while we're playing. Racist. There are words where the last two letters are I-N. Oh, right. That you can use. Beginning. Beginning.

All right, I'll give you an example that you can't use. And that is like pushing tin. Right. Pushing tin, the super high. The tin men. All right, we're done. We're done. Can I get some plugs?

We're proving the point. We're proving the point that these are not worth listening to. We're making their case. Those 12-year-olds on the internet complaining. About free content. I'll be headlining in Bloomington, Indiana, the Comedy Attic, March 14-16. And I will be headlining in Nashville, March 21st at the Zanies. And I will be headlining the Helium Comedy Club in Portland, Oregon March 28th.

And where can people see this all written down? GrahamElwood.com. Nice. Where you can get links to my podcast, Comedy Film Nerds, as well. Beautiful. For all you people who come up to me after you and I do shows together and go, Wow, I had no idea what you look like i assume you understand how to use the internet if you don't if you're listening to this you can google and see photos and movies of me and i think you look

like an accountant tell me at the restaurant you sat next to a drunk lady at a bar tonight who just went off on graham saying that he looks like an accountant and he could not be dressed more like a fucking surfer. That's how I dress. Yeah. And she's like, you don't look funny. Accountants wear a t-shirt with a fucking target on the front and the long sleeves coming out of it and the puka shells. Puka shell necklace and I'm tan.

All right, well, okay, thanks for your humble bride, Graham. I'm tan. All right, well. Okay, thanks for your humble bride ground. I'm tan. I'm tan. Doesn't everyone? I'm tan. Wasn't everyone on a cruise ship? Fuck you, I'm tan.

By the way, 311 fans, you guys were great again. And everyone on the rock boat. I had so much fun on those ships. Dude, I want to just go on ships and tell jokes on ships. So fun. That's what I want to do. But yeah, we'll get, we'll put more plugs in tomorrow.

So sure. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, we got to do a Douglas movies tomorrow here in Denver and that'll be out very soon. Uh, along with episodes of all of our,

uh, various podcasts. And as always me fucking up the recording of the Leonard Moulton game at the live show is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!