Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood, Jackie Kashian, and Chris Cubas Guest

Episode Date: May 3, 2014

Live from the Comedy Club on State in Madison, WI, Doug welcomes comedians Graham Elwood, Jackie Kashian, and Chris Cubas to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, sweeties, babies, sickies, he's with 50 as a monster, girls in his teens, they're still not born, that he won't see, but Doug loves the blues. Hey everybody Here we go

My name is Doug and I love movies Oh shit I feel like that guy in that commercial My name is Doug and I love movies. Oh shit, I feel like that guy in that commercial in the chair and his hair is blowing back. What was that a commercial for? Speakers? Tapes. Oh shit. Hello old people. Thanks for coming inside on the first nice day of this goddamn year. We are coming to you once again from Comedy on State Street in Madison, Wisconsin,

on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014, Wolf of Wall Street fight. Terminator 2. Judgment Day of the Dead. Men walking tall. The president's men in black. Fisher King. Ralph Adage. Afternoon. Delight. Sleep.

Perfect. Murder. If I get pulled over for drunk driving, they say the alphabet backwards. I'm just going to recite that. If I get pulled over for drunk driving, they say the alphabet backwards. I'm just going to recite that. I don't know that one, but how about 2014 Wolf of Wall Street Terminator Fighter.

I just said Terminator Fighter. That's what that one should be called instead of salvation. Terminator Fighter. Did you guys bring some name tags? Can I eyeball them? Do you mind showing them to me? It's not too much trouble. Oh, someone's got cupcakes. Are they gluten-free?

They are. Oh, shit. Oh, you know who's going to pick that? I've got Smarties. Oh, someone's got Smarties. You don't have to yell out what you brought, you guys. We don't have time to go through all of that. But there's lots of good ones, and there's something that's even jingling.

Why is one jingling?'s what's the premise of it oh it's a Christmas poster it's a wonderful life and so you put a bell on there cuz then every time it rings and the angel gets AIDS I think I stole that from another comedian, so don't yell at me. If you know who it is, let me know on Twitter, and I will alert the corrections department. Philadelphia. I know none of you are in Philadelphia right now. Just got to plug some stuff.

I'm going to be doing stand-up at 10 p.m. next Thursday, May 8th. We'll play the Leonard Mullen game at the end. Denver. I'm doing events and movie interruption of Mrs. Doubtfire at the Alamo Drafthouse Littleton on Mother's Day, May 11th. Yeah, Mrs. Doubtfire, that's the perfect thing to

shit on on Mother's Day. It was a drive-by, fuck you! Run-by, run-by. I recently had a debate with somebody if it was drive-by or run-by. Turns out it's run-by? Fuck you. Run-by, run-by. I recently had a debate with somebody if it was drive-by or run-by. Turns out it's run-by. It was a run-by fruiting.

Like, drive-by. Anyway. I guess it was a family movie, but there were a lot of drive-by killings happening around that time. So I don't know. That would have been funnier to me. Now it's time for Watch This, Not That,

audience edition. Sir, name a movie that you enjoy. We met outside on the sidewalk. Very nice man. Jerk. The jerk. All right. How about you here in the awkward seat

where it looks like you're just going to occasionally look over your shoulder. Hey, there's a show over here. Interesting. Just trying to have brunch with my friends in a place that only serves booze. Do they have food here? I didn't think so.

Whatever I ate here last night, it was delicious. What's the movie you like, man? Closer. Closer? The Julia Roberts, Clive Owen, Natalie Portman, Jude Law thing? I don't know what you're talking about. Watch The Jerk, not Closer.

That was an easy one. That was an easy one of watch this, not that. It hurts me not to say that about a movie where Natalie Portman plays a stripper. But I said it anyway. The jerk's a fucking classic. Shithead is a shithead. What else did I want to do? Oh, one more announcement before I bring my guests out.

Doug Loves Movies is going to return to Comedy on State on Sunday, August 3rd at 420. Let's do it again. Let's do it again in a couple months. And I will poach the local comedy club for guests. This local comedy club, the one we're in, but I'll also bring some people in, and we'll just

have a different lineup each time, but I just want to come back here more often because, honestly, this is one of the most... The last time we did Douglas Movie Series, one of the most fun ones I've ever done. So, yeah. You guys know how to have fun.

As a city, you have a pretty good time. Even the fucking teenage girls have figured out that there's some band in town that they're the only ones that want to see them. Like, there's a whole street out there. When I was walking up the street, I was like, a line for my show? That's delightful.

Teenage girl, teenage girl, teenage girl. They're all fucking camped out like they've been there for a while. It just goes and goes and goes. And then it's a huge line to see some band called 1975. The

1975. They're from England, I hear. Yeah, and only teenage girls, and I think I saw one gay guy. Don't mean to judge. But I mean, it was, I mean, even the Twilight movies,

you know, the girls have the boy dates with them. You know, don't they? It wasn't just girls that made those movies a hit. Girls don't they? It wasn't just girls that made those movies a hit. Girls don't decide. Seriously, Spider-Man is making a shit ton of money as we speak because the women don't

get to decide, and that's fucked up. I mean, there's lots of women that I think are cool that would want to see the sequel to a movie that wasn't that great to begin with, just because it's a comic book thing or whatever. But, you know, I guess it's turning around. I guess more girls are getting into it.

But we need more lady superheroes is what we need. We need Scarlett Johansson to be in every movie. Yeah. They could just create some sort of operating system where it's just always her in everything. She doesn't even have to show up.

Get her measurements and go. Alright, you guys. This is already too much fun. Please help me in welcoming three return guests to Doug Loves Movies, Jackie Cation, Chris Cubis, and Graham Elwood. Thank you. Take control, bad city. Take control,

mad city. Take control of your college town. Line up your teenage girls to enjoy the 1975. They have a lovely, lovely singing voice. I'm teenage goth girls

record you think the 1975 was your ally I was born in it molded by it are you guys friends yeah

do you guys hang out it's like Wimbledon with Baines I'm just bouncing back and forth. All right, it's Wimbledon with a D and Graham. None of those girls were goth. So, I don't think.

They just look like regular girls. But anyway, that was the first, the Bane voice you heard. Let's hear it for Graham Elwood, everybody. Now, I don't think that, I don't think the prize bag has anything from you in it. Well, I have...

Because you were going to just tell us what you were going to contribute. I have a Whistling Bane shirt for the winner. And I will be selling these after the show with the never-ending world tour on the back.

Goes to Kazakhstan and Waliski's Pub in Milwaukee. And the Gotham Stadium show got canceled, guys. They're doing a rebuild over there, so... There's a great club that he plays in Kazakhstan.

I went there once with my wife. All right, so they get the Whistling Bane shirt and walk us through this. Chris Cubis is here, everybody. Hello. Yes! And what's all this nonsense you brought you just brought a bunch of shit from your hotel room i forgot so yeah i kind of grabbed well not i mean there's that this is a great gift card that's got like i think eight bucks or a visa gift card that he thinks might have eight bucks

you can google the number it'll tell you something, I'm sure. And some coffee, and I think a hand warmer. You're not the kind of guy that thinks it's funny to give somebody stuff like this that's got nothing on it, so they have to get rejected while trying to buy an $8 item. I know how that feels. I'm used to getting my car turned down for low amounts, so I would not do

that to people. Alright, so that's about eight bucks on that, and then also some, looks like some coffee. Local Wisconsin Concourse Hotel coffee. Yeah. Fresh roast. Don't tell everybody where we're staying. Should've stolen mine.

A hand warmer? Yeah, my girlfriend put it in my bag because she was like, it's cold up there or whatever. It's May. It's probably not hand warmer season. I like that it's ripped in half like there were two of them. There definitely were two of them.

But you're only giving away one. Yeah, she found it in the drawer. But you, she meant cold up there as when you moved to Kansas City. Yeah, that was then, yeah. Not this trip from Kansas City to here. Yeah, that's the one. Really? Yeah.

Does she know, like, how far Kansas City is away from everything? I didn't even have a coat when I moved to Kansas City. From Texas. Who owns a coat in Texas? Are we just gonna talk weather and coats for a rest of the show? Well, you brought up coats. That wasn't my topic.

I don't even know why. Oh, but I was trying to segue into, because you're in Kansas City now. Right. And you're the curator of the movie interruption shows at the Alamo Drafthouse there. Yeah, it's the most fun job on the planet. Yeah, it's just like the Benson movie interruption, but I'm not there, but Chris

runs it. He does a great job, and he brings in lots of funny people. And what's the next movie you're going to interrupt? We're doing Friday the 13th, the original 1980 classic. I wanted him to say Mrs. Doubtfire. Thursday the... Hello?

Yeah, that's going to be fun. Then we're doing The Happening after that. Oh, The Happening's so great. That's going to be great. Premium Rush. I think it's the trees. Is Mark here? Is Mark on this episode?

Do you guys want to do some lines? How's it going? Do you want to do some lines? How's it going? Do you want to do some lines? So, my impression of Mark Wahlberg is his impression of Mark Wahlberg. You're doing a really great Dan Van Kirk. Yeah, yeah. But what was the question?

No, we're not going to play that game right now. But, settle down. The dude's not even here. I don't want to... You know, he's not a robot. He's flesh and blood pretending to be somebody else. And I don't want to hurt his feelings

because I could just do it without him now you mention it. Well, with that spot on impression of Mark you do, who would ever know? I think it's the trees. That's very good. Is that the only...

Who are you doing? That's Zooey Deschanel. Comes up with... It's Jess. That's what movie interruptions are like. Me saying stupid shit while the movie tries to play. And Chris is great at it and is also going to be joining me

on some of the road ones I'm going to be doing coming up, so... Yeah, Graham's going to do some. Jackie did one once. Yeah, yeah, break it away. Yeah, which is very disrespectful because that's a great movie. But we were sitting in the theater

that's right where the movie not only takes place, but the last frame of the movie is of the square right outside the movie theater, and then it says in big letters, filmed in Bloomington, Indiana. And we're sitting in the theater like it was, I got choked up, like I had nothing to do with the movie. It was perfect. And I was just like, it was so moving. And there was a lot of silence in that movie for chitter chat. So it wasn't like we were ruining it.

Yeah, we were making a lot of jokes during the big bike race at the end and stuff. Yeah, a lot of silence in that movie for chitter chat. So it wasn't like we were ruining it. Yeah, we were making a lot of jokes during the big bike race at the end and stuff. A lot of quiet. But we were making a lot of jokes when fucking Dennis Quaid like swims into a rock on purpose. Like bashes his head into a rock for no reason. Just swims right into it.

He's not bright. I'll show you guys. He's a stupid guy. It's an even better Dennis Quaid impression. Perfect. Well, I've a stupid guy. It's an even better Dennis Quaid impression than you do. Perfect. Well, I've seen Inner Space many times, so I feel like I have it down there. Another classic. And everybody's all American.

Yo! Okay, I don't know what was going on there, but... That was Dennis Quaid. Let's not forget to give a round of applause to Jackie Kayshun, because... That was kind of square. Let's not forget to give a round of applause to Jackie Cation. Come see these two tonight if you haven't. They're very funny. They are on loan from Comedy On State for the afternoon because Comedy On State can't tell them what to do in the afternoon.

No, I conspire with the club to make this happen. I heard Jackie was going to be here this weekend, and then we got Chris involved and it's going great. Graham came in and did a guest set last night, maybe again tonight,

maybe? Yeah, that's fine. Maybe? Or are you going to be back in your room slinging webs? I'm going to,

yeah. I have some crime to fight, dude. My cock is a mastermind criminal and it must be stopped. What? Yeah, you're going to go back to your room and fight crime.

Oh. I'm fighting your cock? Your cock. Why are you trying to fight me? It's your own cock. Stop sticking your dick in my face. I'm doing a spot-on impression of you. I'm sorry.

I thought that was Dennis Quaid. Jackie brought a copy of her latest CD. It's called This Will Make an Excellent Horcrux. It's really good. You should get it. Yeah, it's real good. And we had a fun conversation last night about how when she's telling MCs at shows that she's in

to say the title of the record, if they're not a big Harry Potter fan, horcrux is a weird word to suddenly be told to say out loud into a microphone. Trust me, just say horcrux. People will love it. The MC last night, he said, what if I just say, it's got the word horcrux in it? And I said, that'll do. That'll do.

Whatever. Because he's just fixated on that. Right, the word horcrux is the weird word. Yeah. You got some shirts? Speaking of Spider-Man, I got a Spider-Man shirt, just like the one being worn by Graham Elwood. What? These shirts are the best part of that movie. Yeah, wear the shirt. You have to supply the annoying personality,

but you can have the same shirt. I will fucking whistle your ears bloody, motherfucker. You already whistled once. You're already in the whistle penalty box for that first whistle. Wait, wait, wait.

Okay, go. whistle. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, go. Did you just block my whistle with your Spidey mask? It's like rock, paper, scissors. Like, Spidey mask beats whistle. I'm gonna solve so many crimes in my room tonight.

Was that your Tobey Maguire? A tie-dye shirt somebody gave me somewhere that I'd never wear. Over on Mifflin? Did you get that on Mifflin? It's long-sleeved. That's why I'd never wear it. I'd wear a short-sleeved tie-dye shirt.

Are you kidding me? How about a sleeveless? Would you do just sleeveless tie-dye wear a short sleeve shirt tie-dye shirt. Are you kidding me? How about a sleeveless? Would you do just sleeveless tie-dye? A sleeveless tie-dye, no. How about a halter top? Would you do a tie-dye halter top? Mesh? Mesh?

I almost yelled at a guy in a supermarket for wearing one of those shirts where there's just no armpit. I mean, there's just like a big hole in the side. It's like kind of a tank top, but just way too big a hole. So every time they, you know, turn to pick something up, you're like seeing their armpit hair and shit. You should have yelled at him. I almost yelled at him.

Did you yell, where'd you get that shirt? Because I want one. Hey, is that shirt easy to get out of? Because it looks like it is and you should probably do that as soon as you can. Because it looks like it is And you should probably do that as soon as you can That was a spot on Donnie Wahlberg right there

That was fucking laser And replace it with a regular shirt With regular arms That you can get at Dougloveshirts.com Way to weave in a plug man Nice Before we finish the prize bag This has been the longest prize bag discussion

But there's been lots of fun detours But Wait, is that Mace? Yeah, this is Mace Because this guy in particular I'm a little worried about Seems like he might get out of control after a couple of pints Yeah, he's got the Mary Burke

Governor shirt, Seems very imposing. That guy she's running against, everybody hates him, right? Okay, good. Alright, enough politics. Take a stand. I didn't come here to make trouble. I don't think this guy knows he's wearing a political shirt, because he's just looking at us wide-eyed like, who's Mary Burke?

Mary Burke? Mary Burke? I thought it was the latest Sandra Bullock film. It's not easy being green. I don't know why he talks like that. Is that your Melissa McCarthy? Bam! Wait till you see how great Jackie is in the games.

I'm the worst. I'm the worst at this fucking game. Yeah, but keep the jokes coming. It's fun, yeah. Graham, do your plugs now. Let's get it over with. Nice. That's the great way the host does that.

Have you ever seen Conan O'Brien like, yeah, we got some shitty fucking band on tonight? I just said do your plugs. I didn't say you were shitty or that you were fucking. No, you said get it over. Except back in your room when you're fighting crime. But you did say get it over with. I don't think any host can. No, I mean get it over with as in your plugs are usually

complicated and That's your shitty. I don't want you to be rushed at the end of the show when we're out of time. Okay. Thanks. Plus if you do it at the very end people know it's coming off they just turn it off they don't need to hear about the podcast

festival for the millionth time well there it is again being a cocksucker you have a little reel up here constant evidence of what I'm saying you guys don't mind if I place I'm being very clear about how I feel about some of the things that happen on this show.

I'm not saying anything just to, I mean, I'm trying to be funny also. But yeah, no, every time I say it in the rental car, you don't do this, so just say your plugs.

Because there's not an audience in the rental car. Yeah, but I say, let's get your plugs over with. Same setup. And then you do it. Mommy, Daddy, will you please stop fighting? Thanks.

I'm gonna go play Minecraft. Well, I will be on the road for a month shooting the Earbuds documentary, ladies and gentlemen. We're gonna be doing... Thank you to those of you who support it. See how good he is at this? And we'll be doing fan interviews at the Downtown Zanies May 24th

from noon to five, so check that out. And it's at Earbuds Pod Movie. And then I'm headlining the Comedy Attic in Bloomington June 12th through the 14th. That's all at GrahamElwood.com. Yeah, and you got the podcast festival plug because I made that joke about it. That's great.

It is a podcast festival? Yeah, but I just wanted to get all that in without, like, you know what I mean? We're always, like, up against it at the end of the show. Right. Gotta wrap it up. Let's get him on now. I don't know why you do it now. It was so insulting.

And, uh... We still haven't finished this bag yet. I know. That is a change. I was just about to say it. I was just about to say it. Just about to say it. A gentleman outside in the bar gave me a lovely thing

that you can not only store your weed in, but also it has a grinder in the bottom of it. It's like a sneaky, like no cop would ever find. Is that a desired thing, to grind your weed? Yeah, you gotta grind it up sometimes to pack it or to roll a joint or whatever. Thank you. Thank you very much. Jackie, you have an open invitation to come on Getting Done With High.

And just get ripped and see what happens. Can I please just do craft services? I'll bring the donuts. To have like a table of semi-healthy snacks like outside the room, but I don't even want that there because it's impossible to walk by it after taking a million hits over 45 minutes.

I watched one of them and it was just a bag of air that you guys were smoking. Yeah, that was it. You saw it live at Largo's show where we used vaporizer bags. Yeah, that seemed like the greatest idea in the world. Like you could just jump into a room full of weed air. Someday there will be concerts. Someday there will be concerts that are perfectly legal

where people will be batting those bags around in the crowd and you grab it and you take a little toke off it and you pop it off to somebody else. I just wish Todd Glass had had the Purell he needed to get high. Turns out he was willing to forego the Purell. Even though he did look around for it. Because he wanted to be able to sanitize it in between hits.

Todd's intense. That's what made me watch it. I was wondering if you were ever going to push him off the stair. Like push him off his chair. Or the stair. No, I'm not. There's no hitting. And Doug gets up.

Yeah, I wouldn't do that. No, that's what the show proves. People get really high, six people on a stage, and the only thing that happens that's bad is, you know, nobody makes any sense after a while. It's true. It was so great. It gets a little disjointed, but...

I didn't even mean that. I mean, I used the word disjointed but not as a pun Mary Burke's shirt got really pissed off at that I feel like Mary Burke is an Irish comedian no?

is she also running for governor? against the man who wants to arm the teachers and then take away their pensions? Well, you give them guns, they can go right back. I tried not to get into this. Hey, I'm Mary Barrett. Click heaven in. What's your Twitter name, Jackie?

It's JackieCation. Well, it's at JackieCation. I'm high now. K-A-S-H-I-A-N. Jackie Cation. Yeah, let her know if you disagree with her political... Right, please. And if you witness Paul Ryan date rape me in the 80s, please.

Please be a witness. Come forth. Jackie Cation dot com, ladies and gentlemen. Get your horcruxes ready. I put my soul in this. All right, real quick. If you guys... I think two of you went to the movies today. Graham and Jackie had a movie date.

I can't believe that he's wearing the Spider-Man shirt when he went and saw Spider-Man. I think he thinks the shirt is cool, but let's see what he has to say about the movie. I like the shirt. It fits me well. And that's the best I can say about this film. I didn't hate it, but I'm just like, why are they fucking... fits me well. And that's the best I can say about this film.

I didn't hate it, but I'm just like, why are they fucking... I mean, I know Sony needs to keep making them so they don't lose their rights to it, but why do they pick these dumb, fucking boring stories? There was some cool graphics though. We both like Electro. Yeah, I thought they sort of nailed the Electro. That's a C-level supervillain. And they really brought

him to life. I thought they did a nice job bringing him to life. Making him more important. But it was a little too long, and it was super sad sack. It was too long, but also Jamie Foxx, Electro, went from liking Spider-Man to hating him. But it fixed his teeth when he started hating him. Yeah. That's how you fix a gap tooth. I'll hurt you. Ding! I mean, like that. But it fixed his teeth when he started hating him. Yeah.

That's how you fix a gap tooth. I'll hurt you. Ding! Beats braces. I think Jamie Foxx would just make a Nutty Professor movie or something. Like, that's... How many times he was a villain also in Daredevil, wasn't he? Jesus. He was a villain in something else, wasn't he? But there's a million great Spider-Man stories,

and I don't know why they have to go with that Spider-Man story. Because there were other Spider-Man stories. And is this this trend of the mopey superhero? Like, now if we've had Superman, now I've got Spider-Man all mopey. I'm telling you, this thing reminded me of the Batman-Superman problem that I have. But I know that all Batman, any sad words about Batman are incorrect. Right.

I am given a hairy eyeball if I do not enjoy a Batman. We had to end the conversation at dinner after the movie. You were like, I didn't like the third Batman. And I just looked and she's like, okay, we won't talk. I'll be over here. You just went from the dark forest to the dork forest. I did it the wrong way. Dork dark. I'll be over here. You just went from the dark forest to the dork forest.

I did it the wrong way. Fucked it up. Damn it. Dork dark. I meant dork dark. You went from dork to dark. I watch it every time it's on cable.

If I'm flipping around it's on HBO or whatever and the most recent time I was watching it I still can't get over that when Catwoman disappears Batman says out loud so that's what it feels like

like couldn't he just go oh so that's what it feels like can't he use his normal voice he's got the bat suit on he's like a method actor yes yes cannot drop that voice for a second he's like Sean Penn in Fast Times at Ridgemont High like people who worked on that movie

would go out to dinner with him after and be like, hey, pass the salami, bro. And they'd be like, Sean, it's fucking, we wrapped like three hours ago. And Batman is that committed. You could have also just not said it. Like, it's not

about the voice. Well, it's the joke. It's the joke for the viewers. Oh, yeah. Like, today I was watching, oh, this is embarrassing, a Lindsay about the voice. Well, it's the joke for the viewers. Oh, yeah. The hilarity. Like, today I was watching, oh, this is embarrassing, a Lindsay Lohan movie called Just My Luck was on. Wow.

Yeah, they don't have porn in the hotels anymore. I didn't change it. Yeah, the porn was in my lap and then Lindsay Lohan was on the TV. But, they're talking about how popular she is, and one of the girls goes,

you were prom at Ravensdale High. You were a prom queen. And she goes, so? That doesn't mean I'm lucky. And she goes, but we went to, and names another school. Like, you have to remind someone that they won prom queen at a school they don't even attend. Right.

But it's just for the joke. It's just supposed to be funny, so you should just let it go, Doug. Wow. Well, we know you're good at that, so. I know. Can I get a tall vodka Red Bull on stage? Oh, I'll take some more of my... Does anyone want to give me a coffee the color of Halle Berry?

Ooh. Great. Is that a menu item? She's very pretty. And it makes a lovely coffee no sugar do they have a vegan smoothie behind the bar

they could just rustle up for me with some bee pollen and spirulina flaxseed flaxseed do you the waitress isn't looking at me do you have a flaxseed

free range vegan smoothie that has its own bike lane? Can you get that for me? Thank you. All right. Do your plugs again. LA Podfest, ladies and gentlemen. September 26th to the 28th

at lapodfest.com. It's going to be in Beverly Hills this year. Oh, shit. It's going to be neat. I haven't. Oh, shit. It's going to be neat. I haven't received my invitation. Oh, I'm sorry. Here we go. Oh, it's begun.

So that's what that feels like. That's awesome. Oh my God, that was the best Mark Wahlberg I've ever heard in my life. That was... Was that Bill Burr? Okay. I'm going to do only references to the heat. How are you guys doing?

You want to let the game begin? Jackie and gentlemen, please choose your name tags. Choose who you would like to play for in today's very exciting matchup. People are yelling. Thank you for the lights.

Tell us who you're playing for, Jackie. I'm playing for that looks like Nicolas Cage, maybe. See you in my dreams. What's your name? Nick. Oh yeah, that's something you want to put on a name tag. I guess Nick Cage's face is supposed to sell that idea.

Oh, that guy's name's Nick. And then this guy's name is Nick on the pillow. It's a pillow. It's a good one. Made me laugh. You guys, your cocktails are here. Let's go to another commercial break. I didn't see my free range, low carbon footprint. You get another water.

You get another water and you'll like it. Farmer's market drum circle. I didn't see. Did you guys not get the, what the fuck? Who are you playing for, Chris? I am playing for the People vs. Ross McCullen. It is on wood. Like, it's very solid.

And I don't like this dude. I get it. I know the rules. Don't read this out loud. That's Doug's job. Don't fucking tell me what to do. Don't. Put out loud. That's Doug's job. Don't fucking tell me what to do. Don't want to put the both of you.

This is perfect. He's just trying to help out and stop people from doing that. It was a nice thing to do, but you're right. A few guys all know not to say the shithead. Is there a shithead on the back of the pillow? I don't know. I didn't see anything. Inside the pillow.

There's a shithead on the front of the pillow? I don't know. I didn't see anything. Inside the pillow. There's a shithead on the front of the pillow. I'm not falling for that one again. It's like the bag of shit they set on fire on your front door. It's like that. Hope you like the snakes. Who are you playing for, Graham? I'm playing for Katie,

who brought me some delicious gluten-free cookies, and she is a very funny shithead. All right, so we all should hope that you lose, then. All right, you Team Sam motherfuckers. I'll hunt your fucking shit down. Ha ha ha!

you Team Sam motherfuckers. I'll hunt your fucking shit down. This is going to be an interesting matchup today because Chris is pretty good at this game. I have my moment. And Jackie's here. With a hot cup of Halle Berry. That's Sam Levine's least favorite thing is a player that's not good at it

being in the mix because they could be a good spoiler or they could... We were in the back and Graham was like, I'll take the seat all the way to the left. I'll take that seat. I was like,

this is some tactical advantage shit this dude's trying to pull. I don't think so. No. Why do you ask for that seat? Because I know I'm going to be loud and stupid and I don't want to take all the focus. I have to be over in loud stupid corner.

Put yourself in the corner right away. Right there, baby. That's from a movie. I've seen film. I have seen some movies. That's from a movie. You saw one today. You proved it already

I watched 13 movies last week I flew for 27 hours Oh that's right And I watched 9 going one way And 7 going the other way That isn't 13 Yeah and you're

16 16 You're selling yourself short A lot of movies Saving Mr. Banks Was one of them, I recall. And then Mary Poppins. And then I watched Iron Man. You watched Mary Poppins also?

Right, on the same thing. That's kind of fun, I guess. It was perfect. Because I watched Saving Mrs. Banks, and then I watched Mary Poppins, and it was good. The whole time you're watching Mary Poppins, you're like, I'm so glad that bitch didn't stop this from happening.

Right, and I was like, oh, that guy does not look like a good dad. But let's save him anyway. That's what you thought? He doesn't look like a good dad? No, that's not a good dad, Mr. Banks. Don't judge me. I'll watch a movie on my own goddamn terms.

That's what I'll do. Have you seen Saving Mr. Banksy? It's about this guy who his evil stepmother painted on him when he was a child. And he grew up to be just fascinated with painting. Mysterious.

I saw the Raid 2. Oh, dude. I saw that also. I saw it in the double feature. That shit was awesome. You saw Raid 1, Raid 2, back to back? Was that like some Alamo Draft House shit? Alamo Draft House. They do the coolest things at those places. It was awesome. See it with a crowd

and with at least like six or seven black people in the crowd. You need the right amount of like, oh shit, like there's a requisite number of... You need just the right amount of like, ooh, shit, like, like the, there's a record, a number of, you need just the right amount. You do, which is like six.

You need at least a few people responding to the movie with words. Yeah. They're more like sounds than words, but yeah, they work. Yeah, when I saw it, there was a lot of, damn! That was Pochy.

But, when you were watching Raid 2, weren't you a little sad that it had scenes that didn't have violence? It lost a bit of that breakneck pacing, but it added a blind girl with hammers, so... Yeah, sure. That's a pretty good trade-off. Fucking trade-off, it's fine i guess they gave you bathroom breaks because i could never get into the story really i was just like when's the next fight scene and then when the next fight scene would happen it would be amazing yeah so you got you got to give it that but that first people are saying it's better than raid and i'm

just like well it's different yeah it's a little it could have cut 20 20 minutes or so yeah i got that story was down pat pretty early. I also walked out halfway through Divergent, so I don't have a lot of... I don't have an attention span, but I still watched Raid. But I walked out... Well, let me tell you what happens in Divergent. Nothing.

No, a lot of stuff happens towards the end so that there could be a second movie. Yeah, the ending is just, oh, now they're going off to do another thing that'll be the first part of the next one. At one point in that movie, they tell you, there's a thing.

And I'll go, I will see it. There's that thing in that movie where they prove they're the fearless ones by zip lining. That's the most boring. No, you want to be brave, do something boring suburban white people do on vacation.

For $75. Exciting. All right, Chris, do your plugs. I don't know, draft house? Like throwing around treats. We've all got so much to plug. But we got games to play. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So let's do it. Let's do it. I'm a little scared about how we're doing for time, but I plotted out three games for today. You know what? I'm going to skip one. Wow, that's awesome. So disappointed.

Don't do it. Don't skip it. If I can get that Tallback Rebel, that would be awesome. Thank you. Wait, they brought us all drinks and not you? Racism. I just thought they were busy, but you know.

If I wouldn't have gotten mine, I would have said sexism. They're back there just like, don't give him one. Take that, Obama! Graham Elwood didn't get his. That was meatballism. That was...

No, they're all murderers. I know what they do. They eat their murder and beat up puppies and they're not going to give the hippie his food. Have you had pureed puppy? It is delicious. It's nice. You got to skin it.

I was wondering what you were... Jackiecation.com Yeah, I was going to say that. Make it friends. Add Jackiecation. Make it friends. Do your plugs. Jackiecation.

Don't you hate it when you're doing a podcast and you try to get on the internet and someone sends you a text? It's like, get out of here. I'm not trying to get on the fucking internet. Why are you texting me during my show? I just wish it was someone in this room. Get to it.

I know. That's the sad part, I think, is that it is somebody that's in this room. Be funny, but we're grim. It was someone that was... The plan was he was going to come see the show, and he said he was running late because of traffic, and he just texted me,

what are you doing now? and he said he was running late because of traffic and he just texted me, what are you doing now? The fucking show you were trying to come see. What do you mean, what am I doing now? Hey, Doug, you want to hang out? What are you up to? Yeah, the next text was, what about after?

Okay, I guess he figured it out. But yeah, so two texts right in a row and I'm trying to look something up because that's why I almost skipped one of the games because I don't have an answer that I need. Because answers are important when you ask people questions. And prizes are involved.

So I'm going to find this shit and we're off to the races. Oh, motherfucker. Now that you've revealed that I'm not good find this shit and we're off to the races. Oh, motherfucker. Now that you've revealed that I'm not good at this game, I wonder how Nick feels about me choosing him. He'll be all right. He'll be fine. He got his pillow online.

He's going to be so good. That's an awesome pillow. It is a really nice, nice work. I like that the person you hate or whatever is on the inside of the pillow, like we're going to have like a sorority pillow fight afterwards. Another movie reference.

I've seen some film. I'm just saying. Alright, I have the answer. Okay, Graham, you're going to go first. Okay. Spider-Man 2, Amazing Spider-Man 2 opened this weekend. I don't think, I think most people weren't that into the last one. So, as not a very big fan of the Amazing Spider-Man 1,

I want to know how much did it make? How much did that shit make? And I know, somebody gasped in the audience. How dare you call it shit? So the one, this one, this is the sequel. The first, yes. The first Emma Stone, Andrew Garfield,

Sally Field. It's not Sally Fields, you guys. Stop it. I'm already... I look right at one section of the crowd. Quit saying Sally Fields. I will say $525 million.

Come on now. Come on now. That's a crazy number now. Don't be weird. Oh, cripes. I was not thinking anywhere near that number because I've seen the movie.

That's not my personal opinion of the film. I was going to say $180 million? $180 million? That might be too low. Okay, Jackie, this is according to Box Office Mojo. It's the complete domestic gross without going over.

Domestic. And Chris says $180 million, and Graham says $262 million. No, I said $525 million. Do not. That's ridiculous. I might guess 262. Jackie is correct. Sam Levine doesn't whistle when this happens.

He just bitches about it you gotta decide which is worse whistling or bitching that's cause he's here no that's because whistling is shorter oh sometimes it is shorter than Sam Levine I don't Chris Cubis sometimes it is. Shorter than Sam Levine? I don't...

Chris Cubis. Chris Cubis. Two shows tonight, ladies and gentlemen. I love you, Sam. I'm Team Levine all the way. Sorry. Did Willy Wonka

ever make it? That's a real question in this town, by the way. Someone here is named Willy Wonka Yeah, it's a guy I know He was on the show last time we were here Did he make it?

Is he here? Everybody's randomly wooing on his behalf Like he's some sort of little sprite Popping around the room DJ Sprite Jumping around Alright, I know that was unfair, Graham I just fucked up because I looked DJ Sprite jumping around alright I know that was unfair Graham

I just fucked up because I looked because 529 was so wildly off that I tried to give you a better bid by giving you

the exact number and uh that's so great but of course it just means that Jackie gets to go first in this next game. But since that did happen to you, Graham, I'm going to let you decide. I was thinking let Jackie go first. I mean, I was way over. I mean, I lost.

No, no, she's going to go first. That's not going to change. I'm going to let you decide the name that we're going to play with in a round of Last Man Stanton. Look at him think about it. If you're wondering what he looks like in the rental car, it's the same thing. I'm like, Graham, the road, the road. Nice trunk.

Let's see. God, we just did a bunch of those. I'm trying to think who we have not done. Have we done Al Pacino? Have we? Oh, yeah. I don't think we have. I don't think we have.

But it doesn't matter. Nick Nolte? Like I remember anything? Thanks, Jackie, but we have our winner already. Dennis Quaid. We have our selection. It's Mr. Al Pacino. Okay.

And Jackie, you'll go first, and then we'll go to Chris and then to Graham and then to me, and we just name as many Al Pacino movies as we can. As soon as you can't name one, you're out. Scurvy. You said that like you thought you could be ejected immediately. Sorry! Very good.

Chris? Dog Day Afternoon. Let's go Santa of a Woman. Hoo-ha! That one's for the ladies Ocean's 13 Nice Don't say I know

or anything lady Ship it lady She really wants to participate She wants in so bad Is it bad if I'm getting mixed up with Tommy Lee Jones What's that? Is it bad if I'm getting him mixed up with Tommy Lee Jones? What's that? Is it bad if I'm getting him mixed up with Tommy Lee Jones?

It could work out. They probably worked together once. Something. I don't know. Godfather 3. Yeah. That one you said like you were trying to pull something over me. Wait a minute. What's going on here?

All right, Chris. Devil's Advocate. Ooh, nice. The Keanu Reeves vehicle. Whoa. Whoa, it's the devil. No, no way. I just thought it was a loud guy.

It's Frank Caliendo here. You're nailing it Why does the devil have to It's true I ate Frank Caliendo He's one of the slices Available at Ian's You are stalking again.

I mean, talking. Stalking and talking. She's a stalk talker. Look who's stalking. Oh, that'd be fun. Look who's stalking. A movie about a baby that talks and follows people. Pitch that.

Sell it. I'm pitching it right now. Listen, Hollywood. Mattis Wisconsin's got some ideas. pitch that sell it I'm pitching it right now listen Hollywood Mattis Wisconsin's got some ideas is it me? yeah I think so no you said devil godfather 2

electric boogaloo. I mean, if we're going to play this game, I'll just say The Godfather and get it over with. Damn it. Gotta get those out of the way. We gotta get down to the territory. Pacino's not a big sequel guy. Oh, yeah.

The David Letterman Show. The David Letterman Show is one of my favorite movies. And he was on it. I movies. And he was on it. I'm pretty sure he was on it. I mean, if you're going to go that route, why didn't you just name a street

that he might have walked down? Johnson and Park. Walden Park. In Wildness is the preservation of the world. Great street. I love that street.

Sands of Iwo Jima. Go. Okay, so Jackie's V. Wojima. Go. Okay, so Jackie's out. I'm out. What a, such a good fight. Pacino hasn't worked that much. Heat. Heat, nice.

Val Kilmer. Heat, I was in that too. Heat. She's got a great ass that's the best part of that movie Graham oh I thought we were doing

Jim from Taxis okay okay okay oh Carlitos way oh Carlitos way oh okay I was so lost in that impression Carlitos Way. Carlitos Way? Oh, okay.

I was so lost in that impression that I didn't even notice that you were saying the name of the movie. Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. Nice. What? Somebody says, what? Now you're just naming real estate developments?

Yes, he owns the property there. So it counts. Jackie's pointing to Chris. I'm out, as you know. Cruisin'. Oh, yeah. Nice. Great movie.

Cruisin'. Great movie. What's his nuts? Franco. Cheerful. Cheerful. James Franco made all the scenes that were cut out of Cruisin'. Reenacted them.

Made a movie out of it. Because he's a weirdo, that's why. Please stop talking, ladies. You were not on the show. If this was a comedy show, you would have been kicked out about 20 minutes ago that wasn't her this time the girl behind her leaned in

everyone with a ladies voice sitting to my right shut up I'll throw all of you out only dudes dudes only show man I'll throw all of you out Only dudes Dudes only show man Dudes never go I know

I know I've got the answer Sam Levine does that Oh shit I know Those are the rules It's like you're acting like comedians Doing a comedy show

Not playing the rules directly You turned into Droopy Dog At the end I think Graham It's me isn isn't it? No, it's me. He said Cruisin' and then we went on a Rift Train and I will say

Rift Train! that we will have and justice for all. I bet you he was in a movie called Rift Train. And justice. Yeah, remember Rift Train? It was him.

With Leif Garrett. Yeah, Leif Garrett's uncle was in it. Stan Garrett. He was the conductor. Stan Garrett. He was the conductor. Stan Garrett. Bobby Deerfield. Wow.

Yeah, Bobby Deerfield. It's a movie about tractors. He was like a tractor driver. Paul. Donnie Brasco. Nice. I forgot about thatasco. Nice. I forgot about that. Nice.

Get it? That was a play on forget about it? Did they say too much in that fucking movie? Other than that, it's a good movie, though. I will go Panic in Needle Park. Oh. Big heroin thing in the back. Bend up that spoon get that sterno can ready oh shit

make sure it's gluten-free uh serpico oh i like that one too i think panic in the needle park was a sequel to relaxing in needle park can't stay long in needle park without shit going down I think Panic in the Needle Park was a sequel to Relaxing in Needle Park. Can't stay long in Needle Park without shit going down. Or in. Needle Park. Is it Righteous Kill? De Niro?

Piece of shit? Yeah. De Niro? All right. Piece of shit? Yeah. All right. Shit. Okay. Was that your what? I think he's done an animated voice or two, like, Nemo, where are you?

Hey, Bambi, get out of that forest! I got no strings to hold me down! Wah! All right. Oh, um, fuck. Oh, yes, that one. Um, um, fuck. I know this one. Oh, yes, that one. Um, um... Oh, I'm doing that thing where I'm now thinking of all of the movies,

but can't remember the titles. Yeah, it's usually a stumbling block in this game. It's like one of the things that really holds players back is knowing the movies, but not the titles. Why are you such a stickler? Okay, there is a lot of movies. Just say it.

Just say one because the audience is getting frustrated. They're going to start saying their own. I'm not allowed cheating. Then we are going to talk about The City. The City? That is not a movie. City Hall. City Hall.

Oh, shit. Hold it out. Oh, yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Because Jeopardy lets you have a second guess every time. He's acting like a badass. All right. City Hall, correct Oh, it's back on me I'm gonna have to go with Jack and Jill Was he in that movie?

He's not only in that movie He has the hots for Jill And has many scenes where he tries to get with her. That is the saddest thing I've ever heard. That's why I didn't want to bring it up.

That's such a bummer. He has a mortgage pay. We just named all of these amazing movies and then it's like, oh, by the way, he wants to fuck Adam Sandler.

He probably had a lot of fun doing it. No, he probably did not. A lot of great actors love working with Sandler, like Buscemi's in all of his shit. Anyway. So it's me. Yeah, you're giving Graham time to think.

Was he in a movie called... And me. Stand-Up Guys? Yes! Nice! That just came out like a year or two ago, right? Yeah, pretty recent. Christopher Walken.

Bill Burr. Sure. Okay. All right. So this guy just said a title out loud. I don't know. Are you drinking? Is that why?

Let's go with... Sea of Love's off the table. Sea of Love. Sea of Love and City Hall. Please don't say an answer, because I want this game to be over. The City of Sea of Love. I got one.

Chris got one. He could win this, Graham. Damn it. I can't think of anything. I can. All right, he's got it. Here we go. Al Pacino's in it.

It's coming out right now. This is an Al Pacino movie. Ponyo. Fuck. And it can't be a movie where someone plays a character named Al Pacino. Oh, God.

I can see this goddamn movie playing in my head. Okay. What's it about? I'd like to think of one. Yeah, I know. If I say what it's about, you guys will know, oh, that's that. And then when I won't get it. Do you know the name of it by any chance?

Oh. I'm gonna... Um, shit. Howl's Moving Castle. Oh, is he a voice in the... No, but... Princess Mother Noke. Because they do that, right?

They get a lot of famous people to be the voices in the shitty dubbed version. Right. I'm just going to keep naming Miyazaki movies until I win. You might be right. What do you got? Give us something, Graham.

They're getting rowdy out here. Yeah, they're losing their minds over this. They're going to storm the... Every single person in the audience has an answer. The only people that don't know another Pacino... Did we say Frankie

and Johnny already? We did not. Is that what you were thinking? Frankie and Johnny. All right. Do I get ten minutes? How much time do we have left?

Well, you've got another one. I got one. I got to think of one. That's the problem. How long do I give myself? That's the real question here. Wah, wah, wah. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.

Wait, there's something. Wah, wah. It's got to be like an early fucking one, I think. Did he play an astronaut with other old people? No. Was he in a movie? He hasn't been in a three, him and three of his old friends do one thing for the last time. Not yet.

I give up, I give up, I give up. What do you got, Chris? 88 minutes. Oh, yeah. Nice, Chris Cubis. Jesus, nice, dude. All right, now, yeah. Nice, Chris Cubis. Jesus, nice, dude. All right, now, audience. Dick Tracy.

Dick Tracy. Dick Tracy. I'm still in it. Oh, shh. All right, so let's get this straight. First time you try to give him the number, and the second time you say, audience, let's get some answers. I really you try to give him the number and the second time you say audience. Let's get some answers.

I really thought that was it. I thought I was really done. But Graham, go ahead. I literally was going to say Dick Tracy. Of course! He was absolutely going to say it. Now Chris, what do you got? Say another one that you heard from the audience. Sea of Love. Not that one. Just now they yelled a bunch of different ones.

That was the only one you heard? Immediately I was like, hey, shut the fuck up! Do you have another one? Give me a second. Here we go. Norbit? No, I don't. Graham, do you have another one? God damn it.

Palm Strike. Yes, the Palm Strike legacy. Palm Strike. Yes, the Palm Strike legacy. Where a young Leif Garrett studies from Al Pacino high on a mountain. Dick Tracy was a good one because I kept thinking

there must be something he had a small part in. Right, there was a bunch of people who were, I mean, like, went in doubt in this game. A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World? Was he in that one?

No, he was not. He was barely. Mama Mia? Was he in Mama Mia? He was barely. Mamma Mia? Was he in Mamma Mia? Shitty, shitty bang bang? Was he in one of those Mingling Wrinkles movies with Diane Keaton?

Yeah, he is in a wringly Diane Keaton. Did you say Mingling Wrinkles? Mingling Wrinkles, it's old people in love movies. When old people are in love and then Jack Nicholson doesn't want to

fuck them oh The Recruit The Recruit who's in The Recruit Kevin Costner Colin Farrell Colin Farrell that CIA movierell. It's that CIA

movie. Shit. And what's one of the Monaghan girls? That's a good poll. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good poll. I feel like this win's gonna have an asterisk after it, though. You did just tell the audience. You know, Chris, that none of this matters. The Leonard Maltin game is the

deciding factor. This is just a fun way to determine that Graham Elwood's going first in the Leonard Maltin game The deciding factor This is just a fun way to determine That Graham Elwood's going first in the Leonard Maltin game Alright can we now yell him out What was the football one Any given Sunday That was in my First and ten long yard

Any given Sunday Geely We just played Geely on else The Insiders The Insiders The Insiders We just played Geely on the show And I Insiders are great movies

I was talking about Pacino being an insider Is a huge one What Insomnia Insomnia Alaska Can't go to sleep

Yeah Yeah These are my One word synopsis Tired Yeah That guy works. There's a lot of them.

Goddamn, I know. And it happens every time anybody listens to the show when we're playing this game. They're like, I'll have ones that they could think of. You just fucking run out.

It's crazy. It's so, that's so great. When we get to the end, I always see scenes from certain movies and then cannot remember the title. Yeah, that doesn't happen to me. It's just thinking of the movie at all is my problem.

Once I start to picture scenes, I can usually come up with the title. Especially if you think about it while other stuff's going on or whatever. Fun game, fun game. Good job, everybody. All right, nice job. Nice job.

But now let's really do this to determine who wins the prize bag tonight. Either Nick or... Ross. Ross or Katie. Cookie Katie. Graham's tearing into those things. They're so good. They're really good.

And when they don't have gluten in them, that means you also never shit them out? Is that what gluten-free means? Like, no more shitting? No, no more shitting. It just goes right in. You sweat it out, just like a liquid. Oh, okay.

You eat some gluten-free cookies, do some P90X or whatever? That's exactly what I do. That's my workout. Good job. Exactly what I do. That's my workout. Good job. You know, I don't want to brag to you guys,

but the show is right on time right now. Nice. See? Goddamn professional. I wasn't stalling, I was pacing. Let's play Leonard Mullen with Graham going first and then Chris you know

you obviously came in second in the other game yeah so you'll go second and then we'll go to Jackie Now give Jackie time to figure out if she wants to commit Harry Carey

This is that one where you pick names, right? How many names you can do with it? Good sign, Nick. You picked a winner. I owe you a coffee, my friend. I know how to party. How are you going to give it to him?

Halle Berry? Are you going to go Denzel color? How are you going to give it to him? That's between him and his racial... Can I get a coffee, precious? I can't even tell you how much you need to see Chris Cubis on stage, you guys. He's so fucking funny. Don't listen. He's great.

Good man. I just thought of He's great. Good man. I just thought of a good Ben and Jerry flavor. What? Uh-oh. Halle Berry Fuckable. Alright, so... I would fuck her ass. They got a lot of crazy titles over there at Ben and Jerry's.

It's perfect. They've got like Rum Raisin Dickhole. Yeah. If they could do that, they could do Halle Berry Fuckable. Rum Raisin Butthole. Dickhole, dickhole. Come on, come on. I'm saying I like the butthole.

Oh, you prefer butthole over dickhole. You're more chocolate than vanilla Yeah yeah Douglovesmovies.com Ladies and gentlemen Oh this lady's leaving She's like I need to go get some rum raisin butthole She literally has her hand over her rear end. All right.

Hold on to that rum raisin butthole. I don't know, Graham. She strikes me as a dickhole lady. You could be right. There are dickhole people and butthole people. You don't necessarily get to decide. Some people, you're just stuck liking the Rolling Stones better. What?

You know how people love to go, Rolling Stones or Beatles? Shut the fuck up. Rolling Stones are great, but come on. The Beatles? Yeah, they're no dickholes. Or I guess Elvis or the Beatles is another one people like to say in Quentin Tarantino movies. Or in movies that are dialogue like a Quentin Tarantino movie.

Okay, Graham, you get to go first. Okay. You get to be the first to use a silly voice. And you get... At Skysmithy suggested At Midnight as a category. And that's movies that have the word point in the title. Yeah, because Chris is always yelling points.

Oh, there's a lady over there getting it. Jesus. Did you dickhole or butthole? She's got to be so annoying to go to a movie with. She's probably just like, why is he stealing the car? Is he trying to... Oh, he's going to rob the bank. Okay.

Is the bike going to fly again, even though it did in previous occasions? I hope it flies into a dickhole. No sense. She doesn't know we're making fun of her because she's still talking. She's talking about how we're talking about her. Breakfast at Tiffany.

That's a movie where a diamond is swallowed. Or Fester 321 suggested Kool-Aid Man. Tiffany. That's a movie where a diamond is swallowed. Or Fester 321 suggested Kool-Aid Man. And that's movies where one of the characters breaks the fourth wall. Kool-Aid's

here! Hey, Kool-Aid! I got that one. They call it from first. He doesn't just barge in. Kool-Aid. I got that one. They called for him first. He doesn't just bar jail. Kool-Aid's here. We have a door, Kool-Aid. He said, hey, Kool-Aid.

Oh, yeah. Suck it up. Did he also say, walk it off? Put it in your dick hole. All right, enough, Graham. I'm sorry walk it off. Put it in your dick hole. All right, enough, Graham. I'm sorry. Palm strike. So this is Sanford and Son doing my catchphrases.

Hand shot first, Lily. I feel it. Hand shot first. Which of those categories would you like to play, Graham? God, that's a toss-up between Point or Fourth Wall. You don't like the diamond swallow? I will go... No, I don't like diamonds.

I will go Fourth Wall. Okay. Yeah, we did it as a team, you guys. A character in this film from 1986 breaks the fourth wall. Two and a half stars from Leonard. Heaks the fourth wall. Two and a half stars from Leonard. He calls this movie a saga. He also says that

it's that it starts off extremely funny. And he also lists, but then he gave it two and a half stars. And he lists 16 names. And are you really saying a title of a movie out loud? I cannot, I don't know how I can make you stop.

Graham, could you go over there and make her stop doing that? Like, why are you doing that? It wasn't her this time. But it's this section, and a lady's voice has something to say every time there's silence for a second. Just stop it, you guys. Just stop talking. You're not listening to this

on your device at the gym. But that would also be weird. Donnie Brasco! Donnie Brasco! The fuck treadmill were you on that was the most insane treadmill I've ever seen Donnie Brasco

cause she's gonna turn it up too high she's gonna do a level she can't how do I turn this off how do I turn this off Donnie Brasco I'm sorry you're out how do I turn this off it How do I turn this off, Daddy Braco? I'm sorry you're out. How do I turn this off? It's not an Al Pacino film.

You remember, though, when he got stuck on the treadmill and... Don't ask the audience questions. That's rule one for us. I'm asking you. All right, so you gave out the fourth wall 16 names And what do you get? I will go with negative one Oh that son of a bitch

What are you going to do about that Chris? Try to remember who the female lead is In this movie Oh interesting Does negative one mean he has to guess the writers? female lead is in this movie. Oh, interesting. Does negative one mean he has to guess the writers? The grip is... Negative one means he's got to name the movie

and then the top billed person and Chris is trying to decide if he wants to go negative two. I'm going to go negative two. He says he's going to go negative two. And I'm certain I don't have it. Let me tell you what your options are here, Jackie You can either say negative three Which doesn't seem like that would work out for you

Because you'd have to name the movie And the top three billed performers in it In order, according to Leonard Maltin How fun would it be for me to guess, though? It might be fun Or, here's your other option Ask Chris to name it And then he's got to

name the movie and the top two people and if he fails you get a point which I'm about to fail oh yeah and we're giving him time to think

so make please give us your answer and we played it two points Jackie right that's right yeah that's important to remember

yes you name that movie I'm gonna say Yes, you... Name that movie! I'm gonna say... What's his fucking name? No, I just blanked on the main guy. No, I got it, I got it, I got it. He's got it, he's got it. I don't, actually. I'm certain I'm wrong.

Okay, what's the movie called? Jeffrey Jones, Matthew Broderick, Ferris Bueller's Day Off. You gave Jeffrey Jones... I couldn't remember the fucking chick's name so I just picked an actor. Oh, but you kind of just gave him top billing, Jeffrey Jones. Oh, no. Oh, I did. I was going bottom up. Sure, sure. Yeah, yeah.

But whatever. It's still wrong. I know it's wrong. Is it Mia Saro? It's still wrong. Mia Sara's her name, but the guy, the buddy's name, Alan Ruck, plays his buddy, Cameron. He's the two guy? I knew I couldn't get the two percent. I knew you had it and I was like, let Jackie get a point. It'll be nice.

Nice play. I was gonna guess Elizabeth Shue. You were just gonna say her name? With no particular movie intent? I knew it was Ferris Bueller's Day Off and I knew she was in movies in the 80s. That's all I had. So then it is Matthew Broderick and Alan Rock.

That's the one and the two. And then there's three. Three is Mia Sara. I think. I have to go back and look at it. People are talking about something out there that's very enlightening. Yeah, Mia Sara, then Jeffrey Jones,

then Jennifer Grey's old nose. And then Jennifer Grey's old nose. And then Jennifer Grey is the second Grey. Hashtag Jennifer Grey's old nose. Charlie Sheen's former attitude. Because I'm sure he was pretty nice around those days. Maybe, I don't know.

I don't know. He might be nice now. I don't know. All right, so Jackie Cage is on the board with a point! I might want to take a victory lap. Something is finally going right on this show.

How ironic would it be if I won? It's happened before. The loser takes it all. This is the one situation I wanted most to avoid. Anyway, go. I'll let the you-go-girl slide,

but that's still talking out loud. And now I'm sorry. She's hammered. She's hammered. Gotta be. It's almost 5 p.m. There's no reason. There's no reason not to be And that's actually Mia Sarah

That's who that is Poor Mia Sarah just gets hammered on State Street It's weird Wonders into comedy on State And yells out you go girl So since Since Graham was left out of that and Jackie challenged

Chris we'll start with Graham and then go to Jackie alright Graham yes at nam underscore

joti J-O-T-I suggested Hannah wakes the bears and that's that's a play on a movie called Hannah Takes the Stairs but it's a play on a movie called Hannah Takes the Stairs, but it's movies where a bear attacks a human.

Bear attacks a human. New Year's Heave, that's movies that are not for emetophobes because they have a lot of vomiting in them. Or Duck Dynasty. That's movies that have a duck or Joan Collins. Duck Dynasty. Duck Dynasty. That's gotta be the winner. Fucking gorgeous.

Plus, I'm in a metaphor. Space Jam was on in my hotel room today, too. I masturbate too much. It was weird. As you're doing that thing with your hand and your wrist, it was really weird. Right-handed. Always good to know.

1969 or 1971, Graham? There haven't been a lot of Joan Collins movies lately. Let's go... Or Ducks. Let's go 71. All right, 1971. This has Joan Collins or Ducks in it.

I don't think there's a movie that has both. I'll just take that off the table. Wasn't she the coach in Anaheim Ducks or whatever? The duck movie. The Mighty Ducks. The Mighty Ducks. That'd be awesome. The Anaheim Ducks.

That's the actual name of the team. Sorry. Yeah, so don't. Do some sports. Then Anaheim Ducks 2 and Anaheim Ducks 3. Emilio Estevez. See, you're better at this than you think. You're currently winning.

It's true. You have more points than anyone. You have double their points. And the year, Graham, you picked was 71. Yes, sir. Two and a half stars from Leonard. Can't argue with that. He says this movie...

Okay, first of all, this is great because this doesn't happen very often and I love to celebrate it when it does. I think this review is 17 words long. Oh, that's great. Oh, Jesus Christ. So you're just going to give me words like hat fun,

and then just like... All right, well, if that's how you want me to do it, I'm going to pick three words. Fuck that. Come on. And they are duck. Fuck that. Come on. And they are Duck.

Predictable. And Standard. You fucking... How many names? And he lists... Christ. Six names. Leonard is really in a hurry this day. There's six names and one of them's a duck?

Is that what I'm saying? No, the movie's got a duck in it. I don't know if the duck is one of these six names. If I had to guess, no, they're all actors. Six names. All right, I will go... Jesus. I will go five names. All right, I will go... Jesus. I will go five names.

Name it. Five names. Oh, shit. Jackie about to sweep this bitch. There's no way. Don't touch my cookies Weirdo guy He is Graham go ahead

And get your plugs over with While you think about These five Out of six names Ask Graham Elwood On Twitter Please don't help him audience Because we don't want to

We don't want to have to Throw this out We want this to stick I don't help him, audience, because we don't want to have to throw this out. We want this to stick. I don't think anyone... We might. Unless someone knows all of 1971 that has a duck in it. Lee H. Montgomery

was in this film. James Gregory, Tony Roberts, Joe Flynn, and Sandy Duncan. Oh, yeah. I know that one. Finally, Sandy Duncan can talk about

a Triscuit or a Tresquit or whatever the hell she was doing. She did Triscuit commercials. She only had one eye. I was going to say, you went to a deep cut when it comes to Sandy Duncan. You go Triscuit before glass eye. That's impressive. Didn't she have Dorothy Hamill's haircut

before Dorothy Hamill? She had a miniature spinning Triscuit in her glass eye. If you blew in her face, it would spin around. I currently have autism. Anyway. Which people would always walk up to her and go Hey Sandy Just to see the Triscuit I spin

She starred in the Sandy Duncan show Air to the Duncan Donuts Fortune A few other Shit happens sometimes She invented beaches. Santa. JackieKasha.com, ladies and gentlemen.

All right, Graham. What do you got? What's the movie called? This is Herbie the Love Bug. Not bad. That's a good stab. I mean, it was not right. I don't think any of those people were in Herbie the Love Bug.

Duh, not. But one of the other words in this 17-word review is Disney. Yeah. Standard Disney comedy. And the whole review is, a duck who lays golden eggs spurs predictable twists and turns in his standard Disney comedy.

By the last line she'll almost just be like, I said good day! Like he just does not want to deal with the million dollar duck. The million dollar duck. The million dollar duck. That's Dollar Duck. The Million Dollar Duck. Don, that was a bold choice, Graham, to get that category.

I thought I was going to get maybe a Disney movie or something. Let's just go down the panel. Name a movie that has Joan Collins or a duck in it. Valley of the Dolls? She was in that? I thought so. Because the other one, I'm going to erase this category, because thank God somebody finally picked it. I'm going to erase this category because thank God somebody finally picked it.

I'm going to erase this category, but let's play for fun with the other title. All right. Okay. Since all of you won't know,

but Jackie is the winner, you guys. Jackie Cajun! Come get your prize bag, Nicholas Cage. That'd be sad if it was Nicolas Cage who brought a pillow with his face on it. There's the

shithead if you need it. I heard it's a good one. There you go. Do you want your pillow back? Nice! And if that shirt's not the right size for you, dude, just see me out here. I'll switch it out for you. I think I put a lady's small in there, Nick. If that shirt's not the right size for you, dude, just see me out here. I'll switch it out for you. Oh, are those the backup prizes?

I think I put a lady's small in there, Nick. If that shirt's not the right size, just see me in the lobby and we'll swap. You'll wear my shirt, I'll wear that shirt. Yeah, yeah. We'll just trade underwear. You know what I mean? There's like a couple of dudes hanging out being cool.

I know how to time my workout so that I can wear any shirt size I want. I just work out to fit that shirt. That's another amazing impression right there. Is that Al Pacino? Yes. All right, so we're going to play this out. That'll be fun.

We've got a couple minutes to spare. Barely, but let's do it. And oh, let's decide the order. So let's do the same order again, see how decide the order. So just do the same order again see how it would have played out. Sure. Alright, so Graham's first. Three stars for this movie

that I think he gives about 27 words to this review. So now I'm starting to think the older movies probably just have shorter reviews and we just don't do

the older ones that often. Alright, 1969's the year. Three stars from Leonard. This is a movie that has seven words in the title. Yeah from Leonard this is a movie that has seven words in the title yeah holy shit is right

he says about this movie that a host of cameos are sprinkled throughout and then it was rehashed as a TV movie yeah in 1987 I think it's gotta be

what I think okay well this is gonna be interesting I don't know how many names how many names how many names can you name it in In 1987. I think it's got to be what I think it is. Okay, well, this is going to be interesting then. I don't know. How many names? Graham, how many names can you name in out of nine names? Start with Graham.

Nine names. Well, I think I know. You do not know. Yeah. I may be wrong. I think I know what it is, but let's throw it into the mix. I'll do seven names. Let's see.

He says seven, Jackie. Seems like Chris has a good feeling about it. I think Jackie has an idea, too. Yeah, three? I can do it. Three names? I wish we were recording this part. I also could be entirely wrong. We're recording this part.

Don't turn the recording off. I'm going to throw it out there. You told us that you wished... Oh, watch it, Jackie. God damn it. I guess I'll say zero names. I'm probably wrong. All right.

Somebody's got to do a Sam Levine. I could be totally wrong. I'm going to do the negative one. I'll say name it because I think we both think it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world. It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world. It's not. Too bad. Also,

if it's Tuesday, this must be Belgium. Oh. Sure. Seven words. Great category. Yeah. That's a fucking, like, I always thought that was the funniest title.

Like, if anybody ever says the expression, if this is Tuesday, I always say it must be Belgium and they have no idea what the fuck I'm talking about. That happens to you a lot? People saying that catchphrase

if it's Tuesday? It must be Tuesday. Yeah, well, if itase, if it's Tuesday. It must be Tuesday. Yeah, well, if it's Tuesday. It's day before hump day. It must be Tuesday, they say all the time. The day of the week, Tuesday does come up in conversation on occasion. They might not say if it's Tuesday, but once Tuesday comes up, I'm ready to play ball. You're willing to put Belgium in the mix.

Yeah, I got the Belgium riff. I got Thank God It's. Not Friday, but Tuesday. I got a lot of day of the week comedy that I like to do. The ones that end in the word day? Yeah. That joke? Those days.

The ones that end in a Y. Jackie. Stop talking? Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you. No, actually, I would like you to trade places with that lady in the audience. Or those ladies.

I think they were taking turns. It was like having a bachelorette party in the crowd. It's like volleyball. They were just rotating. Volleyball. They're still doing it. You can still hear them. Yelling though as we speak. Behind every chatty magoo lady is some mansplainer.

Don't worry about it. Some man what? Mansplainer? Did you say splatter? Mansplainer. You went like this. I thought you said mansplainer. I haven't gotten to masturbate today.

Next up. What were you doing during Spider-Man? It was in 3D. Jackie's album is called Shove That Horcrux in Your Whorehole. Just released three weeks ago. Yeah, Brant Spaganew, and you can see her right here tonight at Comedy on Stage.

Do you have any other road dates coming up, or do you want to say JackieCation.com? Boston and Chicago and everywhere, and JackieCation.com. Nice. Chris Cubis. He's got movie interruptions in Kansas City. Yeah, if you're in Kansas, come out to Kansas City, Alamo Drafthouse, Friday the 13th on May 8th. That's going to be fun.

That's fun for stoners. Let's go see Friday the 13th on May 8th. Let's go see Friday the 13th on Monday, May 8th. And at... It's like a word puzzle At Chris Cubis on Twitter

And see Brick Mansions in theaters now I'm not in that movie but you know Alright B, Paul Walker, Recipe Too soon Too soon God bless Graham ComedyFilmNerds.com Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much Too soon. Help him out. God bless. Graham?

ComedyFilmNerds.com, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much. One more round of applause for all of these guys. Jackie Cason, Chris Kudris, Graham Elwood. I'll make you guys a deal. I'll try to sit on the other side next time so I won't be as close. You guys sit there again. If you want to come again,

I don't know if you want to be yelled at that much again. But, uh, she's still talking. I started that one, though. It was like a conversation. I did start it. Look at this lady over here Just watch her

She probably does everything right her whole life And you're sitting over there going We forgot to get a sitter So uh You know, even anger can lead to comedy. Aww. Aww. And as always... Uh...

Oh, wow. Wait, this is a complicated one. Okay. Oh, wow. What? Wait, this is a complicated one. Okay. People who think Jethro Tull is just one person are a shithead. Or maybe young. And husbands that drag you to

Doug Lo's movies are a shithead. A theme song will play someday. Now it's time to touch and watch the mother. She's got deep eyes and love is here and God was made to body. someday.