Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood, Myq Kaplan, and Billy Bonnell Guest

Episode Date: December 27, 2014

Live from the American Comedy Company in San Diego, Doug welcomes comics Graham Elwood, Myq Kaplan, and Billy Bonnell to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies This awkward silence was brought to you by Plated Plated. Plated.com. Hey, everybody.

What a delightful crowd. I was just rearranging the chairs. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies! A guy wrote to me on Twitter today, what is it that everybody's yelling at the beginning of Doug Loves Movies? It always sounds like this is Doug Loves Movies to me, but I guess to a new listener,

they're like, what the fuck is happening? My name's Doug, and I'm like, da-da-da-da-da-da! E-ba-ba-ba-boo-boo! Oh, I'm putting off... You know what, though? Actually, it's a short version of it, so don't panic. We're coming to you once again from the American Comedy Company

in Sweet Home San Diego! Yeah! On Saturday, December 27th 2014 Wolf of Wall Street Scene am I right San Diego Street Scene local reference inside joke

barely a joke it's 420-ish let me see your name tags Sandy D I know you guys brought some oh look at this there's an R2-D2 with Christmas lights on it right there in the front row

I'm sure he wouldn't be annoyed by that R2 would just roll with it Fred instead of Ted that's a sweet switch Jen instead of 10 that's a sweet switch Jen instead of 10 that's your face on Bo Derek's face nice work Rainbow Beard doesn't have a sign of any kind

he's had some travel issues so I'm just happy he's here at all there's a toilet no that's a Simpsons donut that says Simpsons movie is your last name Simpson? No? Okay, great name tag, buddy. Lots more. I love how you're lighting them up

with your individual lighters, but I still can't see that far. I gotta make a trip to LensCrafters. Get my eye shit together. But everybody, thank you for bringing your name tags. And three of you have three chairs, as you can see. And three of you, we have three chairs as you can see. The three of you will be selected to be played for in today's game section of the show.

Irvine, California. My annual holiday taint tour continues. Taint Christmas and a taint yet New Year's. It's the holiday taint with stand-up shows this Sunday, probably today if you're listening to this tomorrow. That's confusing. Sunday and Monday, December 28th

and 29th. Bring your name tags. We will play a game if you bring your name tags. Sacramento, Douglas Movies comes back to the Punchline on Tuesday, December 30th at San Francisco. I'm part of the comedy countdown shows on New Year's Eve at Cobb's Comedy Club, DouglasMovies.com. Now it's time for Not for a Metaphobes.

The Babadook is not for a Metaphobes. Has anybody seen the Babadook? Can you confirm that it's not for a Metaphobes? Correct anybody seen the Babadook? Can you confirm that it's not from Metaphobes? Correct. Good. Well done. Well done. There will rarely be points in the show where I want you to yell out the answers. I probably set a bad precedent by asking you that.

The interview, I can tell you from my experience, is not for the Metaphobes. And looking forward to February, Kingsman, the Secret Service, is not for emetophobes. And looking forward to February, Kingsman, the Secret Service, is not for emetophobes. Yeah. But also forget I said that. The prize bag has a bunch of fun stuff in there.

I brought some sausage. A nice summer sausage. A lump of cheese. Both of those things I'm worried that they may not be... I really thought there might be a table here for my drink. That was going to be tragic when everyone discovered that the glasses here are made mostly of plastic. But I've got to move the prize bag

just to have somewhere to put my drink. We've got so much shit in the prize bag, I want to just go through with the guests. We got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt, of course, and lots of other stuff. So let's get my guests out here, if they're ready. I think they are. They have to come through the magical bookcase door

that they've installed here at the American Comedy Company to make us feel special. Please give a big, warm San Diego holiday taint welcome to Mike Kaplan, Billy Bonnell, and Graham Elwood. Alright, so who brought the Whistling Banes shirt?

Which one of you guys brought a Whistling Banes shirt for the prize bag? Take control, Saturday. Oh, there he is. That's the one. Take control of your gas lamp. And you also brought... That's Graham Elwood everybody hello I got lost in that crazy haunted house

Doug coming out of that weird that door is like I get disappointed because I think I'm going into the magic castle and it turns out I'm just going to the room where you guys are sitting around green room green room I mean maybe the extra couple of doors they have there now will keep the room where you guys are sitting around. Green room! Green room. I mean, maybe the extra

couple of doors they have there now will keep the smoke from wafting into the crowd. Could you smell it, Rainbow Beard? Oh, you could smell it, alright. Never mind. Graham also brought a copy of the Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies, a book that I wrote the foreword for. Yeah,

that's in there. And both of those items, and probably other items from Graham's area of items. Graham's find it. He's got a kiosk down at the mall, Graham's area of items. And you also, you probably have Palm Strike t-shirts.

No, I don't. Oh, he doesn't have any. Okay, so he's got Comedy Film Nerds books and whistling bane shirts available as you exit uh today yep at 6 p.m yeah jesus i don't know why i got so harsh on that 6 p.m 601 i don't want to see any of you assholes down here i just pride myself on ending on time and also thought maybe the staff didn't know what time the show was going to end and they've got to do last call and whatnot. Mike Kaplan is here, you guys. Hello.

Headlining all this weekend here at the American Comedy Company where comedy is not communist. It's very American comedy. Do you have any commie pinko humor in your act mike caplan oh no you have to pay for it oh what wait what okay i wasn't asking you to do any of it right now oh no but uh how's your weekend been going you been having fun i have been having a lot of fun i talk like a robot yeah holy shit is it comic-con already there's a robot in our show uh shit. Is it Comic-Con already?

There's a robot in our show. It's been fun, though. Absolutely. It's my first time at this club. Happy to be here. Love it. Come back tonight or tomorrow. Or just stay.

I mean, you probably have to... You guys who are in the room already, you could... I don't know. You got to get the fuck out at 6 o'clock. Go back up those stairs and come down again Yeah, cause Mike has a show at 7 o'clock Yeah, come back in an hour Yeah, but pay for the tickets

Brendan Lynch is on the show, he's very funny I saw him last night It's true Yeah, and another guy, the first guy I enjoyed He's only been doing stand-up comedy for a year But he's wearing a suit and he's very respectful He's only been doing stand-up for a year But he's already wearing a suit No he's very respectful. He's only been doing stand-up for a year, but he's already wearing a suit.

No, I just meant... Also, he's funny. We're all nice. Keeps it pretty clean, too, doesn't he? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He does all the things that hosts used to have to do and he's just doing them... Old school. Yeah, he knows what he's doing. Or doesn't know. it's working out great.

I don't want him to think too hard about it. He's probably not even here right now. But also in the prize bag, Graham will appreciate this, it's guys in Santa hats reenacting the final sequence from Karate Kid. Oh!

Yeah, and it's like a Christmas card. Get him a body bag! Yeah, yeah, and then throw him in the sleigh! So that's, uh... That's from... Yeah, that's something you can, uh... send next year, I guess. I'm fucking...

I'm so done with Christmas. We'll get into it a little bit more in a second, but I don't even care for any of the Christmas movies. Even the ones I haven't seen, I don't like them. Very judgmental against them. Billy Bonnell is here, everybody. Hey, Billy! Everyone is like, who the fuck is that?

I just go back and forth in my head. Is it Bonnell? Is it Bonnell? Is it Bonel? Is it Bonel? Is it Bonel? Is it Bonel? It's neither one of those. Is it Bonel? Is it Bonel? But Bonel is what we're going with.

That sounds good. Okay. It's still wrong, but... What is it? What is it? It's your show. Say it right. Bonel.

Bonel, okay. Bonel, Thugs-N-Harmony. That's not a great way For me to remember it Mike It's not very good Like your name isn't Fucked up enough MYQ You're right

What do you What did you bring For the prize bag Billy? I brought a few DVDs Actually You brought like It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia A Very Sunny Christmas

That's nice That's a good one You got good taste It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia A Very Sunny Christmas That's nice That's a good one You got Good Taste It's for the season Yeah you brought That's a four in one Four films in one I can't even

I'm gonna wet myself I'm gonna become a lady By the time I finish Saying the names of these movies Cause it's Must Love Dogs Two Weeks Notice You've Got Mail

And Laws of Attraction Two of the movie posters Because it's must love dogs, two weeks notice, you've got mail, and laws of attraction. Two of the movie posters, in typical romantic comedy form, are the man and the woman back to back like, man. Yeah, they're just like, you're a man, I'm a woman. Hope this works. And a dog. Yeah, must love dogs. Oh, and then on the other end

of the spectrum, V for Vendetta. That is not a romantic movie at all. Must hate. It's pretty romantic. It depends on Like her with her back

to a guy and a guy fox mask. And he's like shaving her head. Whip whip. And then there's a big book at the bottom of the bag. What's that? It's a book. Tell us. Do you remember

what it's called? The book was in case everyone hated the prize pack and they wanted to feel better about themselves. It's called The Feeling Good Book. Just look at the cover. I can't even get it out of the bottom of my bag. Oh man, that really spoils it. Yeah, so we're going to take your word

on it that it's a great book. Just in case you're depressed. It's a really thick book about feeling good. Yeah. I hope you get through it before you kill yourself. The only reason you would be like, you just won a prize and now you're sad, so. Yeah.

No, you really come down hard. It's for that person specifically. When you get the prize bag home, you're like, I made a name tag to get this bag of shit. And then at the bottom of the bag is the best book ever. And that brings you back up and you don't kill your wife. Do you have a double of this book? Like, do you own a copy? I have it on interactive DVDs.

That's perfect. I feel good in 3D. Graham Elwood, let's just get this out of the way real quick. Do you have any... Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Why are you shaking so much?

Oh, boy. Sorry, I had a blood sugar thing. Oh, that's the low blood sugar character? Yeah, that's my low blood sugar character. Or that's really you. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Type 2 diabetes.

Anyway, it's a fun character. Graham's been wolfing away on some lettuce and some French fries over there. He didn't get a chance to get something to eat. He's on a very tight schedule today. Traffic and then running around and coming in here. Was traffic bad coming down from LA? Oh, it was a bag of dicks. It was a big, salty bag of dicks.

Well, that's why you're so hungry and thirsty. Oh, I know. Because of all them salty dicks. That's how they get you in a bar. They put a bowl of salty dicks in front of you. And the next thing you know, you're like, I got to have a drink. I know. Because my mouth is so full of salty dicks. That's how they get you in a bar. They put a bowl of salty dicks in front of you, and the next thing you know, you're like, I gotta have a drink. I know.

Because my mouth is so full of salty dicks. It's like peanuts. You just keep eating salty dicks one after another, and then you're like, did I eat that whole bowl of salty dicks? Turns out I did. But you were just on the show on December 19th, so I'm wondering what's new in the world of Graham Elwood

since December 19th. I think the official announcement of when the next L.A. Podfest is going to be is new. Yes, we just put that out. Yes, Los Angeles Podcast Festival, September 18th through the 20th, 2015 at the Sofitel in Beverly Hills. Come on, San Diego. Come on, you guys. Drive on up. Drive up.

It's three whole days from morning till night of what you're watching right now it is non-stop podcasting actions so leave here at six come back

at seven and then in September go to LA yeah yeah we gotta can't forget to come back and see Mike tonight

please drive to LA after we just talk shit about how bad the traffic is yeah drive up there get a big bag of salty dicks. The traffic isn't always a bag of salty dicks. Go when it's night and it's not a bag of salty dicks.

Lose sleep to drive to the LA podcast. You have to go in the middle of the night to miss traffic. Do the border patrol thing, those guys that wave you through and you have to slow down, do they ever do their thing in the middle of the night? I think they do sometimes. I think that would fucking suck. I think it was... You're all sleepy and high and drunk

and waiting in a long line of cars for a guy to go... Did the guy who said no even ever go to the... That's all he does. I try to look shifty. They never pull me over. I try to have a there's something in my trunk look on my face, and they never catch it.

You're literally rolling down your road going, I'm good, it's cool, there's no one in my trunk. And the guy's just like. No, no, no, he's like. But so Graham, this is exciting news that I missed the last time there's a statistician guy on Twitter that's like throwing all these crazy statistics at me like like the 12 guests of Christmas in LA was the 420th episode of Doug loves movies and even more exciting on the on your last appearance which would be in in seattle yeah i didn't say it

but that was your 50th appearance on doug love's movies 50 times how did you do it um it was amazing it's he's really he's very healthy. He has very strict sleep regimens. It's a lot of training involved to just show up and do this, as is evidenced by the bag of dicks I've been chewing on. And the great thing about Graham is you can't... Sometimes similar categories, a category will come back up when he's probably been in the game and heard it before. But as soon as a round of this

game is over, he has no idea what just happened. He forgets it immediately and concentrates on the next round. That's the kind of competitor he is. I've never listened to this show. Never heard a full episode. He doesn't even hear what other people are saying when he's on it.

It's just focus. fucking win this shit. Was very disappointed in your performance at the 12 Guests of Christmas this year. That was tough. I had to go to yoga early in the morning, so I was... Oh, you were, you threw it? No, I think Sam was like, I'm gonna sit next to him, make a nine-ish run and get him out. I'm Sam Levine. But that does happen.

That's just like an actual gambling event, like poker competitions and stuff, like where you're sitting is crucial. And then also like your disposition about, oh, I got so much to do tomorrow. I'll just fucking go all in because I kind of don't want to sit here all night anyway. I've made the finals three years in a row.

It's like fucking four hours of shit. Of riffing. It doesn't go that long, but yes. It feels like four hours. To ten hours. Of course we'll have you back next year and you'll probably go all the way again.

And you probably left right after you got kicked out. So you don't even know what happened. He's not even asked me what's happened. Just give a shit. I just show up and fucking win. That's what I goddamn do. I don't study it.

Like, oh, well, who is this category? I hear all these guys talking about that. I don't study shit. Well, how do you respond to that, Billy and Mike? He's pretty cocky, man. I'm kind of rooting for him to lose today. I hope so. It'd be weird

if you were rooting for me to win today. I'm pretty nice most of the time so it is weird that I'm rooting against you. Yeah. I hope you win, man.

See what I mean? Thanks, Mike. That's like reverse devil's advocate. The nice Satan. Winning isn't really important to me as a concept. I mean, my life's fine. We're all going to die eventually, so who cares?

Happy holidays. If you win, you'll just have farther to fall to death. You know what I mean? Why not? I just keep it low to the ground. Can't fall down if you're laying. Folks, see Mike Kaplan tonight at 7 o'clock before you die. But you're still going to try, though, right?

You enjoy trying. Of course. There you go. It's the best of both worlds. Oh, yeah. Don't take it too seriously, but fucking try to win. Oh, yeah. He cares about winning so little, he just passes on all his turns.

Pass. I love winning so little, he just passes on all his turns. Pass. I love winning so much. Like, I'll sit down with a bunch of kids at a carnival game that I'm pretty good at, and I'll win, but then I'll give the prize

to the smallest child. Aw. Yeah, winning is what's important. Not things. Do you still whisper in his ear, I still fucking's important. Not things. Do you still whisper in his ear, I still fucking won? Yeah.

It's like I whisper, I beat your ass. Enjoy this fraudulent prize. Yeah, yeah. You didn't earn this. Put it in a place of honor. Every time you look into this bear, be reminded you failed. It wasn't a bear. It was Bullseye the horse from Toy Story.

Oh. All right. Thanks for all that. Every time you... A lot of people get sad. Yeah, yeah. Toy Story bums people out. Bring up Toy Story or Up if you want grown men to start losing their shit.

Jeez. Yeah. I didn't know that was the target audience for Up here. And he didn't say, Doug didn't say, let's kill the cast of those movies. Why are you guys voting? They're just movies about sadness. Just reminds me of sad things. Let's kill the cast of those movies then.

Yeah. They're all going to die anyway, right? Fuck them. Yeah. Doesn't care about winning. We'll kill the cast of those movies then. Yeah. They're all gonna die anyway, right? Fuck them. That's true, yeah. Doesn't care about winning, we'll kill the cast of a Disney movie or Pixar.

Winning, don't care. Let's kill cartoons. Let's start with Mike and go through just if you've been to the cinema lately or if you've, you know, rented anything lately.

I was in a movie. Can I talk about when I was in a movie? Sure. When can we see this movie? I don't know. Is that important? Yeah. Talk it up. Someday a movie's gonna come out. Do you know

Henry Phillips? He made a movie called Punching the Clown, which is a super funny movie that I love. He made a sequel. He shot a sequel called Still Punching the Clown, which is a super funny movie that I love. And he made a sequel. He shot a sequel called Still Punching the Clown. And that's real. And it's like with real actors. I was in scenes with J.K. Simmons.

And he's a guy who's... I saw Whiplash. Doug did a silent impression of him for the podcast listeners. I did it specifically for them. Yep. And everybody in the room looked away. But so that's a, it was such a, the script is really funny,

and I hope I didn't screw it up, but it was real fun. It's the first movie that I think I'm in that's real. And then I saw Wolf of Wall Street. I know that's, I'm a little late. You're late on that, yeah. And I watched, you watched it on the. You're late on that, yeah. You watched it on the anniversary of its release?

Yep, absolutely. I saw some friends in that. The one I saw most recently in the theater was The Hobbit, and I enjoyed it fine. The Battle of the Five Armies? Oh, yeah. I was like, who is the Fifth Army? And I'm still not sure.

It's like orcs. I lost track. There was only four armies by your count? Yeah I'm still not sure. It's like orcs. I lost track. There was only four armies by your count? Yeah, I definitely, I could name four. Probably maybe the Army of the Mind. I could name the armies in the Hobbit in four armies. That's what I can do. Is that...

Who knows? Does anybody know the Fifth Army? The Eagles? Eagles? The band? That's so weird that two different people said the Eagles and the whole room thinks it's a ludicrous answer. That guy's just really hot. No, that's true. My favorite part of the movie is when Bilbo

meets Don Henley and they try to break out of the Hotel California. You can check out of the Shire but you can't ever leave. Comedy is just taking two things that you heard and saying stuff about them. It can be. That's all it is ever.

I love how Seinfeld names two things sometimes. Oh, that brought it down. You might as well have said Cosby. Or mentioned Up again. How did, wow. How did Cosby make everybody happy?

It's not gonna be much more of that. Ever. No, he'll be dead soon. Wait, wait. Mouthing that the rapist is gonna be dead? of that. Ever. No, he'll be dead soon. Wait, wait. Mouthing that the rapist is going to be dead? Hold on a sec.

Easy, San Diego. You'll be able to love the things he does when he's dead. Well, I was going to do this later, but bring out the Bill Cosby voodoo doll. We have a ceremony.

Billy, have you been to the cinema? In my living room. That's all right. What did you see there? I saw two movies. I watched one twice. Hold on.

So that's three viewing total. You watched a movie called One Twice, or you watched one movie twice? This is last week. Okay. I saw two movies. What did you see twice? Ernest Saves Christmas.

Santa's in the slammer. Still holds up. I could see watching Inherent Vice a second time or something, but why a second time for Ernest Saves Christmas? I was just looking for the subtext, man. What's it really mean? It's a deep film. There's a lot more going on there. Was's it really mean? What's a deep film? There's a lot more going on.

Was it worth the effort? Yes. There were children around or something? No, it was just me. You just gotta make sure that it was really saved. Wow.

Okay, so what's the other movie that you just saw once? The Interview. Yes. And you liked it? It was great. You watched it on your lap while the rest of your family, as you told it backstage, you argued about what to watch.

They wanted to watch Rush. Rush from about a year ago. Yeah. The Ron Howard race car movie. And their only argument was that Rush was free on demand and that we had to pay $5.99 for the interview. So then I said I'd pay for it and they still watched Rush.

So they watched that dramatic film while I watched a funny movie on my laptop while my girlfriend nudged me constantly telling me I'm laughing too hard. You're ruining Rush. Go to the other room. Rush doesn't have a lot of laugh lines in it. My face is burned!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I've been speaking for the rest of my life! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Why didn't you go to another room? Because I took my stance on the interview. If you don't want to watch it, I'm going to watch it while you're watching that movie in here.

And I'm going to laugh when it's appropriate. I dare say, too, I kind of like watching something on a laptop where there's on a monitor nearby something else is happening that I can glance over at when I'm bored during the thing on the laptop. You know, because like in movie theaters, you look around and all you do is

creep out everybody around you. It was nice to watch a comedy movie and be able to look just to my right and see fiery car crashes. Oh, this is fucking hilarious. Back to normal. I need to read the feeling good book.

Yeah, I apologize, man, if you got hot box back there. I know you didn't. I know you didn't. I know you wouldn't get high before the show intentionally. Graham, what have you seen lately? Wait, does weed make you depressed?

I'm confused. Yeah, it does. That's why. Don't do drugs, kids. It's 420 somewhere. I actually, I watched on cable, I watched Top Gun. What? Fucking great

It was so great to prepare for coming to San Diego It was so Yeah fucking USA It's such great Tom Cruiser-y Just When she makes fun of him in the meeting and she comes out all mad

and gets on his bike and she's trying to tell him and he's like what? I can't hear you. It's fucking so great. Are there going to be a lot more spoilers? I haven't seen it. What is it about? A gun? Yeah, it's the best gun ever. Wasn't that scene in Terminator 2

though where I can't hear you, you're not my dad? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You see where they got that from. The Terminator guys got a lot of influences from Top Gun. You're not my dad. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You see where they got that from. The Terminator guys got a lot of influences from Top Gun. Did it have commercials or no commercials? No, it was on HBO. They're doing good stuff over there.

He was trying to be... I love when they're like, the wire, back to back. You're like, sweet. And then Top Gun and the grudge is just going to be on a fucking loop. All that stuff is so weird. Like, this morning I watched Death Becomes Her.

Wow. Because I was just like, what the fuck is going on with this movie? Who the fuck clapped Death Becomes Her? Show yourself. I think it's an interesting failure or miss. Like, I don't think, it doesn't work for me, but I think some people love it,

which is why it's still showing on cable. Like, that's the interesting thing to me about what's on cable is, like, there kind of has to be somebody out there wants to see it, because they don't mess around with showing stuff that nobody wants to see, because then their ratings will go down.

So they're showing the stuff they think people want to see, or they do tests or studies or whatever. And I'm watching Death Becomes Her going, why would anyone want to watch this again? Because once you get the gist of it, that Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn are just going to get all fucked up and just run around screaming with their heads all twisted around,

a big hole in their stomach and shit. And Bruce Willis the whole time is just like, and it's just not the Zemeckis that we know and love from his more intricate movies, you know, like Back to the Future. So, I don't know why I just, I don't know

where I thought I was going with that. I mean, other than I watched that movie. Oh, and then it's like, up next, Master and Commander to the End of the World or whatever the fuck that Russell Crowe movie's called. Like, you know, it's just so random. It's just like also something I don't want to really watch again. But I'll tell you, once you get into it...

And just remember, death becomes us all. Mike Kaplan, two shows tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, and I saw Big Eyes, and I'll talk more about it on other shows because we're probably running behind now, but I was disappointed. It's not doing very well at the box office, so it's not like anybody's going anyway, but... That's the official review. That's my official take on big eyes.

How do you spell it? How do you spell it? Yeah. P-F-F-F-F-F-F-T-T-T, exclamation point, smiley face. That was Paul F. Tompkins' initials. What do you do when you don't like a movie? I spell my friends' initials. In excess.

It's time for me to say, let the games begin. It's time for the games. People brought some delightful name tags. The donut is not an actual donut. It's inflatable. And if you guys want to whip those out right now, all of

my guests will pick a name tag, and while they do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Alright, we're back. Nice name tag work, everybody. Who are you playing for, Mike? The shithead's on the back.

Don't read that. Understood. Save that for the end. Kristen Vacation. I love it. Instead of Christmas Vacation. I know a girl who was in this movie also. Oh, which girl?

Her name is Ellen, and she plays one of the little girl people. She's also the daughter in... You know the little girl people? She's in Fatal Attraction also. She was the daughter in that, and I played softball with her at summer camp. It was her bunny that got killed in Fatal Attraction?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Holy shit. She's in here too. A little trivia for you. There you go. Do you guys like movie trivia? Eh. I'm not that into it, man. Holy shit. She's in here, too. A little trivia for you. There you go. Do you guys like movie trivia? Ah. I'm not that into it. I hate it. Not really. Billy?

I'm playing for a guy named Tim who... I have no clue what this means, but it was big. People are cheering. What does it say, Graham? There are some who call me Tim. What's it in reference to? I have no idea, but I noticed that he didn't just use

one piece of computer paper. He used six pieces of computer paper. Oh, it's Monty Python. It's Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And he used scotch tape, which I promote on this podcast. Billy's a big pro scotch tape, guys. All right, so you're playing for Tim scotch tape, guys. All right,

so you're playing for Tim. Good job, Tim. And then the donut got, the donut got chosen. There must not have been any gluten-free snacks out in the audience. Well, this is a gluten-free

inflatable donut, and I'm going to eat the shit out of it. It's the Simpsons movie, but then he writes underneath, my name is Chris. Couldn't think of a good pun, but I love the Simpsons.

P.S., it's my birthday. That's so weird that his voice would change in his handwriting. Well, and the font changes. You have to do that. It's my birthday. It's my birthday. It's my special day.

My name is Chris. I want you to pick my donut because it's my birthday. Mike said we're all gonna die. That's like the best way to get a blowjob is to talk that way on your birthday. I think you should suck it. Yeah.

Who wouldn't find that attractive? It's a deal closer. Excuse me, ma'am. It's my birthday. I'm gonna put this in your mouth like a lollipop! Wait, whose voice that seems... Which person was which?

It's a real... Graham is such a master of subtle voice work that the characters blend into each other from time to time. That's why they fall in love, because they both have the shrill voices. I love you. I love you too.

Also, the font doesn't look like it changes. I don't want to ruin your bit. It just looks like the marker started to run out. Yeah, that's what it is. Your voice always runs out when your marker runs out.

When it's dark, it's like, yeah, that's my name is Chris and I ran out of ink. Suck it. We definitely all had fun. I just wanted to be clear that we shouldn't have been. We shouldn't have been.

Let's not enjoy that moment. Let's move on to this moment, which is a game called How Much Did This Shit Make? And it's basically... It's like, yeah, people are... I agree. You should be kind of into it. Do you ever do the game where you build a title? I love that one.

Oh, that's not on the agenda today, but I'll try to remember it next time you're on because I do take requests. Thank you. But no, this is how much did this shit make? It's like Price is Right style. I do take requests. Thank you. But no, this is, how much does this shit make? It's like Price is Right style. I'm going to name a movie.

You guys have to guess how much it made at the domestic box office in its entire run according to boxofficemojo.com. And the film, in honor of the release of Big Eyes,

which I thought would be the best Tim burton movie in years turns out it was right but it's not the best by a lot uh the film i want to do is tim burton's version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Cleverly titled Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Because it should be more about that boring kid than about a guy who owns a fucking chocolate factory with a chocolate river and dwarf slaves. He's definitely not the most interesting character.

We'll start with you, Mike. And we're not allowed, is it to not go over like Price is Right? $100 million. Okay, Dr. Evil. Billy. Man, that seemed like a good movie, right?

Yeah, it was pretty good. $210 million. Oh. Oh, man, I went low. $210, he says. Graham Elwood. I'm going to just go $5 million. I'll tell you, if this place

floods, you're going to be in the cat purse. I'm not going to drown on my birthday. If it floods, you're going to be struggling to get your leg into that thing for sure. As the water's rushing in. Give me back my name tag. And suck it.

Okay, Graham says five. Mike says 100 million. Billy says 210 million. So Mike Kaplan is our winner. Because that fucking movie made 206.4 million. No way! Oh, it's so unfair. That's why we play this game.

I thought it was like $50, $60 million. I thought it kind of, maybe I was wrong. Yeah, yeah. Let's do that movie again. I think I got it this time. I'll wait long enough for you guys to forget the exact number, and then we'll play again. Graham already forgot, so you already mentioned that.

Yeah, Graham has already moved on. And let's move on to the next game, which Mike gets to go first, then we'll go to Graham, and then to Billy. And the game is called ABCD's Nuts. We're going to spell something. When a letter gets to you, you have to name any movie that begins with that letter.

And you can only use movies that begin with the letter T for movies that begin with the. So don't mess around with the. Don't think you can just sneak around. I'm so lost right now. Billy needs help. You know what I mean? Like The Godfather,

you can't say that for the letter G. Oh, that's for T? You can only say it on T. Okay. Yeah, very strict on that because there's so many movies to begin with, it makes the game a little harder.

And the first... And what we're going to spell... What we're going to spell is a motion picture that just came out that I'm not sure if I'm going to see. I don't know if I'm in a hurry to see it.

Probably this whole panel is not in a hurry to see it because it's called Into the Woods. Oh, I want to see it. Jesus. I misjudged you, Mike. No, I kind of want to see it, but I've actually seen it performed on stage and didn't really love it.

It's just not, I don't think it's my, I don't think it's in my wheelhouse of what I would enjoy. But I probably will see it. Okay. Especially if it gets Oscar nods. I love nods. If Meryl Streep gets nominated, then I'll see it. I love Stephen Sondheim. He's

real good. I do like him a lot, but for some reason, I don't like the songs in this one. Okay. Thank you, Mike, for understanding. You got it. And the first letter of Into the Woods is I, so just name any movie that begins with the letter I. If you match the movie I've written down ahead of time, you win

the game automatically. If you can't think of one, you're out. Okay, I mean, and I'm not allowed to say Into the Woods, probably. You can say it. I'll say insomnia. Okay. I went with kind of a crazy coincidence

because I went with interstellar. Oh. Yeah, yeah. I almost won. Yeah. I went with interstellar because

it felt like I had insomnia while I was watching it. Because I tried to take little naps and I couldn't force myself to do it. The letter N, Billy. Any movie that begins with the letter N. Nodding Hill. For a second there, I thought it started with a K, but yes, Notting Hill does begin with an N. And now again, while you brought me all of those girly movies.

Girly movies. I said that so I wouldn't say the offensive phrase chick flick. I really made it much more... And for Nightcrawler is what I picked. Nightcrawler. Oh. Yeah, one of my favorites from this last year. Man.

T is your letter, Graham. Time After Time. Ooh. That's going back a bit. Yeah, it was in the 80s. It was a... Mary Steenburgen and Malcolm McDowell. And, uh...

And, uh, God, I forget his name, who played Jack the Ripper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy's great. Warner. Warner. Peter Warner. Peter Warner.

No. Do you have any Peter Warner in your car? They're still gonna ask me when I drive through the border thing. They ask you if they have that actor in the trunk of your car. I went with The Interview just because America. Yeah, we got the bald eagle and the flag right here on stage, so you got to represent.

The letter O, Mike. Any movie that begins with the letter O? On the Waterfront. Very good. Thank letter O, Mike. Any movie that begins with the letter O. On the Waterfront. Very good. Thank you. Very good. I went with the movie that was just called O. It was just O.

Yeah, and I picked that because it was filmed in Charlotte, South Carolina, where I will be on January 16th. Billy, you get the letter T The Godfather? I know you picked it I won the game No, I didn't pick that

I went with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 Because it was filmed in Austin, Texas Where I'll be on January 31st Doing a Doug Loves Movies down there. H, Graham? Heaven Can Wait, which I saw when I was a kid in Chicago,

and I'll be headlining Zanies in Chicago January 2 through 4, downtown Zanies, ladies and gentlemen. I went with Home of the Brave because that was filmed in Spokane, Washington. I went with Home of the Brave because that was filmed in Spokane, Washington.

I'll be at the knitting factory on January 9th. Before my next one, can I glance at your schedule for a sec? E is the next letter, Mike. E.T. Full title, please.

The Extraterrestrial. There's even more. I know, it's so stupid. Nobody calls it this anymore. I'm going to let it slide, but it's still fun to watch you sweat. I appreciate it. Your version of sweating, because you really don't care. You're trying and you don't care at the same time.

Oh, yeah. I'm very zen. Yeah. It was called End His Adventures on Earth. Oh. Yeah, yeah. I'm very zen. Yeah. It was called End His Adventures on Earth. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Which is ridiculous.

That's foolish. Yeah. You know, like, my title that I picked, Escape from Alcatraz, wasn't Escape from Alcatraz and then he goes on to do some other

interesting things. But I said Escape from Alcatraz I'll be in San Francisco on New Year's Eve At Cobb's Comedy Club W. Billy I pick War of the Worlds Because

It played in San Diego And I will be in San Diego on February 5th At American Comedy Company With Brendan Lynch Yeah! Free claps! I said Wild Wild West because I saw that movie

recently on cable. That was my first choice. And it's a fucked up movie. Oh, Graham. Overboard. Oh, good one. I went with Oh again.

Mike, you get an Oh also. Can I went with O again. Mike, you get an O also. Can I go with O again? You can. I'll go with O again. I went with Octopussy. Damn it. D is your letter. Dante's Inferno.

Dante's Inferno. Somebody made a movie of that? Yeah, that's a movie. Okay. Are you sure? I'm positive. I don't really care. Everyone seems very skeptical.

Could go either way. It's an old movie if it's a movie. Right? Still a movie. Who's in it? Paul F. Tompkins? Yeah, he's in it. He was great.

He's really good. He plays the Inferno. Walter Matthau. Check this out, Graham. I went with Dirty Harry because where does that take place? San Francisco. San Francisco.

The streets of. And as I already mentioned, I'll be there on New Year's Eve. Want to give that an extra plug. I'll be there with W. Kamau Bell, Tommy Johnigan, Jim Dore. It's amazing. It's an amazing lineup. And the last letter, Graham, is S. What do you got for S?

I'm going to go with the original Superman because I saw it when I was in Wisconsin where I'll be headlining Appleton. New Year's Eve. Two shows. New Year's Eve, guys. Skyline Comedy. And I went with Sudden Impact

because I had Dirty Harry on my brain and it takes place in San Francisco where I'll be a cops company. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That was an exciting round of ABCD's Nuts! Yay! Doug, can I say it's impressive? Did you purposely pick a number of letters in the title

that was divisible by three exactly, so we all got the same number of clues? I never do that because, I mean, it was a nice coincidence because I just pick something that's enough letters that it'll play for a little while, and just a lot of times somebody falls out. Like, you guys were the first time where nobody panicked and couldn't think of something, but it happens sometimes.

So then the letter transfers over one, and so it doesn't... Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, so whatever number I have, we just see what happens. We're a bunch of winners. And if somebody matches, it just ends right there

and it's happened like maybe three times out of playing it thousands of times. So who won? All of us. We're all winners. Nobody won, but Mike is still in the old pole position because

he won that other game before and I remembered sorry guys and so we'll go Mike and then we'll go to Billy and then we'll go to Graham and then we'll go to me

because it's time for Last Man Stanton dear American Comedy Company can I have another vodka and soda water Dear American Comedy Company, can I have another vodka and soda water, please? Mike, are you good? I'm good. I have water on the logo behind me. Would you like it?

Yeah, just put it right there on the eagle's face. And what do you... You want another beer there, Billy? Yeah, I'll take one if it's happening. What kind is it? It's a Sierra Nevada Pella. There you go.

I'll be performing in the Sierra Nevadas never again. And Graham, Graham, can we get you some wheat germ or something?

Yeah, if they have a protein, a vegan protein smoothie in the back, just whip that up, that'd be cool. And one more salty dicks. Yeah.

Extra protein. Yeah, extra bag of salty dicks. Don't skip on the salty dicks. Hashtag salty dicks. All right. So we need to determine basically this game, you guys,

is where we take an actor, actress, or a filmmaker who's got a lot of credits, a ton of credits, like hopefully 30 or 40 or more, and then we just take turns naming movies that person was involved with until, thank you for the beverage, until we... Run out.

Run out. If you can't think... Oh, you guys, they're out of salty dicks. The kitchen is out of salty dicks, you guys. FYI, guys. A lot of pot smokers come to my show and, they're out of salty dicks. The kitchen is out of salty dicks, you guys. FYI, guys. A lot of pot smokers come to my show, and they really order up the salty dicks. So many salty dicks.

86 the dicks. Yeah, no more. So if you guys go to come back to Mike's show at 7, go out and get salty dicks and the gas lamp, and then just kind of smuggle them in. Go down to, if you need salty dicks, go to Dick's Last Resort. B-Y-O-S-D.

All right, so we need someone. Let's just, people sitting here up front where I can see you, don't yell out names, please, please, please, please. I don't want these guys to be involved in choosing it. I want it to be random and me not to be involved either. Ask the girl what they are to do. This guy right here up front had his hand up.

Look how polite. That's the most polite hand. His hand is the opposite of your mouth, sir. Point at him. One finger He raised a finger In a minute, when you're done I'm here It's this guy with the one finger

Total zen, calm, nice guy And then the Keanu fan is over there Pitching a fit Keanu! Keanu! Keanu! One finger also has a cat on his shirt, so that's another way that he's polite.

So don't pick him. I want to hear what he has to say. And if it's not better than Keanu, I will bow to that other man's wishes. I hope that's a man. I can't see that far. We live in a post-gender society. Person?

P.G.S. What's your name, first of all? Ian. Theo? Ian. Ian. Hey, man, you got the vowel. So, was it even close?

What's your name? David? Oh, Bill? Okay. You got the number of syllables exactly right. I can name that name and I can't. What's your name? Chuck? Sam? Sam. Okay, Sam. Here we go, Sam. Ian. Sam. Okay, Sam. Here we go, Sam. Ian.

What movie actor or actress or director would you like us to play Last Man Standing with? Bill Pullman. Bill Pullman. Are you guys down for Bill Pullman? Yeah. Do it. Alright, Bill Pullman. Thank you, Theo. Did we do Paxton before?

Is that the one we did? Oh, shit. Do you remember? Or did we do Pillman before? I can never remember. Pillman. All right, we're going to go Pullman. Before we start, who the fuck is Bill Pullman?

I mean, it sounds familiar. Okay, so you might be out. Yeah. But let's wait and see what Mike's first answer is, because it might remind you of who Bill Pullman might be. Is that how brains work? I'm ready. Okay.

Yes. So I say a movie? Say the first movie you can pick. I got one. You got it. Independence Day. Yes. He played the president before black people

got the part. Oh, that guy? This will be the world's Independence Day. That made me cry when I saw it. Morgan Freeman ended his career, Bill Pullman. You got it, Billy. And Tia Leone, wasn't she president of something?

She's now the Secretary of State, I think. Gina Davis? She was one, yeah. She's the president. What's Katherine Heigl supposed to be? Get this phone out. She's also like a secretary. That's weird. That show's fucking weird. I thought women had came a long way, but they're back to being secretaries.

No, but there's a black lady president on that show, I think. Oh, really? I think so. Is it Alfred Woodard? Way to go, Shonda Rhimes. Way to go. She laid the groundwork. All right, Billy, can you think of another movie that has Bill Pullman in it?

Oh, man. That guy. Come on, it's that guy. I know, that's exactly right. People in the audience have answers. They're murmuring to themselves. Keep it down. Say Madonna.

Saw that sketch today. Bride of Chucky. Oh, terrific guess. Yeah, he played the principal. Okay, so Billy's out. Graham? I think I spoke too soon when I said yes to Bill Pullman because I was thinking of Bill Paxton

when you said it. And I was literally like, all right, weird science. Let's see if I can do this. Right, but just think of the guy that's like Bill Paxton. What was he in? I can see him in a million movies

and none of the titles are popping into my head. All right, I'll give you... Oh, wait, no, no, no, no. I got it. There we go. Here we go. Here we go. Boat Parade. I really thought you had one. I was really

excited. He was a very young Bill Pullman. It was starring Burt Reynolds. He was a yacht. He was a yachtsman. Leif Garrett's dad, Robbie Garrett, was the Burt Reynolds. He was a yacht. He was a yachtsman. Leif Garrett's dad, Robbie Garrett, was the second in command. And Bill Pullman was like the little boat dude who was like, yes, sir. Gilligan.

Boat Patrol came out like 78, right? Yeah, yeah, this guy knows. 78, 79. Yeah, Theo's nodding. He gets it. I think I have two more. Yeah, we're going to keep going. It's my turn, though.

I'm going to play along. Okay. What the fuck was that ceiling movie? Oh, that was Matthew Modine. See, I got them all mixed up. Anyway, I'm sorry. I'm going to go with a movie that just today I invoked on the hashtag game on Twitter was Mafia Movies. And I went with While You Were Sleeping With The Fishes.

Oh, that's good. Yeah. That was one of mine. So, While You Were Sleeping. So, what's your other one? The Zero Effect. Mm-hmm. That's good.

Very good. Married to the Mob. Isn't he in that one? It's not your turn. You're out. And that was Matthew Modine. The Bill Pullmans of not Bill Paxton's.

I'm going to go with The Serpent and the Rainbow. Yeah, some holy shits in the crowd. I came to play. I could have never guessed any of these movies yet. What else do you have, Mike? Boat Parade 2. No, no, he's great.

Boat Parade 2, full title. Cruise Control. Yes. Truth control. Yes. I'm going to go all the way back to Ruthless People. Okay. What else you got there, Mike?

Truthless People. Very good. I'm going to go with Spaceballs. Oh, yeah. Who just barfed? Independence Day 2 or ID4 2, so ID8. It's weird that they called it ID4

when it wasn't Independence Day 4. It was Independence Day and it's also the 4th of July. They were lazy did I get it? I think that's the same movie that's the full title yes that's the whole title

can I tell you when I was on a movie trivia team the name I came up with I won a prize I didn't win the movie night but I won the prize for best title it was Con Air Force 1 I won a prize. I didn't win the movie night, but I won the prize for best title. It was Con Air Force One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest Friday, The 13th Warrior.

That's awesome. Nest sort of doubles as next in there also, so I don't know if that counts. Now I see why you wanted to play Build-A-Title. I really wanted to. If any of those movies came up, I would have... You're a natural at Build-A-Title. That's all I do. Let's play a quick Build-A-Title. I really wanted to. If any of those movies came up, I would have... You're a natural at Build-A-Title. That's all I do. Let's play a quick Build-A-Title just for Mike. Why not?

Hey, he's already winning. Let's help him win some more. He's already killing it. Let's help him kill... Boat Parade 2 Cruise Control is the greatest movie ever. Somebody make that into a movie poster, and I will pick it the next time I'm on this panel.

I'll purchase it from you on eBay. All right, so who did you want to get the suggestion from before, Graham, for the last thing? The young lady with the... R2-D2? Yeah, R2-D2. Okay, hi. What's your name? Yeah, R2-D2. Okay. Hi. What's your name?

Ashley. Ashley. One finger at a time. What's your name? Janice. Ashley. Oh, okay, Ashley. Perfect.

What's a movie title? Do you know Build-A-Title? Do you know that game works? So what's one that won't have stoppers on the ends, you think? That's a tough question. Independence Day. Independence Day. Yeah.

Okay. All right. All right. So we have Independence Day. So I will start with you, Mike. You need a movie that begins with day or ends with in. Does it have to be the spelling? Or independence?

Could it be Independence Dazedazed, and Confused? Is that allowed? Yeah, Dazed and Confused will work. So I'm not going to go with that, but... That's what I'll say. All right, so, Billy, you have to come up with a movie that ends in the word in, or a word that has in as the last part of it.

Or starts with fused. Have you heard this game played before? Yeah. Okay. But, hey, real quick. For a second there, I thought you might have no idea what's happening. No, just explain it to me real quick just so I get it. Just think of a movie title that ends in the letters

I-N or one that begins with confused So think of the one that ends with the letters I-N Because I can't think of anything that begins with confused And also the first one

Quiet if you got one Jesus Christ Nope Yep, we're gonna have to Quiet if you got one Jesus Christ Nope Yep we're gonna have to take that To accept that as your answer We're just trying to do a quick one Don't worry about it You're doing great buddy

No no You're doing great The listeners love you Everybody loves you Can I have Rainbow Beard's S into you right now. Okay, 15 seconds. What are you up to lately,

Rainbow Beard? You're doing what? You were in Costa Rica and you made it back. Were you serving on there? Okay, that's your 15 seconds. The last Sin Dependence Day. He's getting confused. The last Sin Dependents Day. Stan Confused.

The last sin? Nice try, Graham. Independence Day's Dan Confused. Cars. Oh, you son of a bitch. Goddamn right, bitches. Very nice. Are you playing too, or do I get it?

Yeah, I'll play. I'll fucking play. You kidding me? No, I'll play. I'll fucking play. Are you kidding me? No, I wasn't kidding. Let the right one independence, dazed and confused cars. Nice. So you have to end in let? Let the right one independence, dazed and confused cars, too.

Yes, you son of a bitch. No colon, no subtitle. Let the right one in, dazed and confused cars, too. Mules for Sister Sarah. Oh my Christ. Hello. That was erotic. Thank you.

I don't want to be a stickler, but he didn't say the, he said let the right one in, dazed and confused, but left out pendants. Oh, that's okay. I didn't know if that's part of it. Saying the whole thing out loud isn't really part of the game. Okay, I get you. Yeah, yeah.

So it's just like bonus if you do that. I got it. Because I've been cheating. I've got it written down right in front of me. I thought you didn't care about winning. No, I just care about rules. Even worse. Even worse. Even worse?

That's worse than caring about winning. Rules? Here's an important rule for you, Mike. In this game, so fucking confusing, but in this game, we drop the thus. Oh. So yeah, I should have told you that earlier. I got it now.

Am I back in? No. Fuck. Yep, Mike, we didn't told you that earlier. I got it now. Am I back in? No. Fuck. Yep, Mike, we didn't tell you that you dropped the thes, so Billy, you're back in for some reason. It would hold up in court. Did you have an answer that you could not use? Did you have an answer you could not use

because the the threw it off? Yeah, we'll never know. We'll never the know. Whose turn is it? Yours. It's me? Here's why I brought up that we dropped the thes, because I'm about to add a title where I drop the the.

Do you remember a motion picture called The Raw Expedition? Oh, sure. Yeah. Here we go. remember a motion picture called the raw expedition oh sure yeah here we go let the right one independence days and confused cars two mules for sister sarah expedition wow only one clap come on only You get it. Everyone else, they're tired. I said it already and then said, if I just waited

and said the whole thing, maybe it would have gotten bigger. But I just want to make sure people knew Raw Expedition was a thing because it sounds as made up as Boat Parade. Boat Parade's real. You remember the Raw Expedition? Some cheerleaders went on a boat down the river. But less made up than The last sin, which I made.

No one was listening? Cool, I'll be over here. This is still full. I'll take two more. I'm losing my confidence. Who next? Me. Okay.

So, let the right one in is the beginning. So, how about bullet? Is there a movie called? Bullet, the right one in.

Yeah, I like that. Thank you. that's a good one. That's a really good one. Appreciated. So, it's,

what is, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, suddenly we're at an opera house and there's a somebody from a box just responded bravo and he has tiny binoculars

he's in the balcony bully bully for bullets I finally have one alright you're back in you're back in I finally have one. All right, you're back in. You're back in. You're back in for good behavior.

You're out of the penalty box. What do you got? Raging bullet? Yes! Nice. Nice. All right, I'm back out. I retired.

He's like Michael Jordan, you know? You gotta wait and see where it's at when it comes. You're right. That was when you were out the first time and then he came back to basketball. I was out the first time. Drug conviction. College, sorry. Graham, can you do anything with that?

So what are the words now? Bullet. Raging. Raging. Raging bull. Raging bull, etc. Raging or begins with...

Expedition? Expedition. Expedition of the dead. Yeah! Yes! Oh yes! That's a through the donut hole! You guys all know how you pronounce the word expedition. The regular way. It's a bit of a reach.

Yeah, bullet's a bit of a reach too. Bullet. Uh-uh, bullet. So we're all... That's in the past. That one's done. Look, look. Mike, Mike, here's what it is.

It's just a big tradition to play this game. This is a special edition, I know. I'm just glad to be playing. I'll keep Dishon him out, you know? He's on a mission. Dishon him out, you know? He's on a mission. It might have seemed like a Fishon expedition, but... Mission impossible? Yeah.

All right. so yeah alright 7pm tonight I think it's actually 7.30 that the show starts by the way but come at 7pm to prepare to prepare your brains

for your get some drinks raging bullet the right one independence days and confused cars to mules for Sister Sarah, expedition of the dead man walking. Which is a go-to of mine, as you know. I'm just gonna, I'll say at the end, Dead Man Walking of New York.

Kings of New, is there some movie that starts, a movie that starts with king. I was, I stopped, I stopped putting things into this. Pick one, pick one. King Ralph. I did the important part, do I have to Ugh. Graham Ralph.

I thought Billy was back in it. He's back out. Oh, yeah, Billy, Ralph. Yeah, I retired. He's out. Graham. So, Ralph, and the first word is what? The first word is...

Rage. Rage. Rage. Rage. Ice. Rage. Rage. Rage. Ice rage. I wish it was called ice rage. Go for it. It's a guy who gets the worst slurpy headaches ever.

Goes into an ice rage. Or like if you're driving and it's like the middle of winter and they didn't throw down all the salty dicks to melt all the Yeah, exactly. So it's rage and Rage and Ralph. Ends in rage or begins in Ralph Rage and Ralph Ends in Rage or begins in Ralph And King Ralph is in the thing

I've been saying all year That you don't listen to It's a pretty clever twist I put on there I don't think you're going to come up with it Ralph I don't think you're going to come up with it. Ralph. Here, let me help you out.

Ralph. Ralph. Yeah, that's no help at all. Ralph. Can you do Ralph comma Reckitt? Is that how it works? Can you use comma? Yeah, that's how it works. That's why you're out.

Oh yeah, can we just put any words in any order? If you use a comma. If it works like the phone book. Say some words. Hope Doug agrees. Can it be Ben comma Dugson? Yes. He agrees.

You got anything, Graham? Yeah. Silent Rage. Silent Rage. Who was in that? Nicole Kidman. And Matthew Modine. Teaming up once after Boat Parade.

All right. I'm going to take a second and look that one up. Because I don't... Sounds legit. Book it. You really stuck your neck out naming two actors. Because, you know, if you had just gotten one right, then I would have...

Well, when I say Modine, I mean either Paxton or Pullman. I mean, I'm casting a wide net with that one. Oh, I'm sorry. No results. Well, your app needs to be updated because Oh, this came out in the last year? Huh?

Alright, so Graham's out fuck don't worry there's a chance to get back in thug's feeling good this week uh what was the last part? Ralph. Oh, yeah. It's cheating, kind of, I guess, because I say it at the beginning of the show every week, but yeah, for the last few weeks. King Ralph-a-dog. Oh, no, that's great.

Yeah, it's fun. He took it well. I got one ready. Mike took it well. Okay, dog? No. The gray-jing- well. Okay, dog? No. The Graging Bull. The Gray.

The Gray. All right, we'll just call it Gray. Whoa. They made a different noise on that one. They had a lot of different noises. That was different. Good job, man. Oh, thanks.

He smiled. One of my specialties. Did you see him smile? Oh, yeah. That's real happiness. Oh, fuck. Outrage. Damn it. Which came first, the feeling or the knowledge of that word? Yes.

What do I feel? It was full of the word he was saying. Yeah. I could just cheat all day. We'll see how long you can keep up. Because Ralph-a-dog day afternoon. Oh, yeah. What is it?

I couldn't think of anything against the gray other than, I guess maybe it's not out yet, but Fifty Shades of. Oh, yeah. Fifty Shades of the Gray. If you want to take that, you can. I'll take it. Okay.

I like how this game works. You've had three take-its, man. This is a really long one. I'm just excited that it's lasting this long. Plus, you have one that ends in 50. 50 Shades of Grey Jing Bull. I like that. Whose turn is it?

Yours. Okay. Dog Day Afternoon Delight Directed by Jill Soloway Who made that show with Transparent Yes That was my next guess Did that work?

Nope That's the show on What's it on? Amazon Amazon Transparent with Jeffrey Tambor Yeah Okay Dog Day Afternoon Delight Lighthouse show on, what's it on? Amazon. J. Free Tambor.

Okay, Dog Day Afternoon, D. Light. Lighthouse. There must be a movie called Lighthouse. What do you think? One word or two? One word. Light it up. Oh, yeah. Is that not what I said? I just realized I shouldn't give away.

I shouldn't even be allowed to look. I'm looking at other words that begin with light. You've been so gracious. It's your show. It's your game. But you went with lighthouse? Yeah. Okay.

Let me look up Lighthouse specifically. As one word, no results. Oh, yeah. But let's see if it's two words. That's what I meant. Because Leonard's very particular. Lighthouse, also not a title. Alright. Sorry to say.

But I could go on forever on there, because I went with Delight Sleeper is what I went with. And you can hear the whole thing sometime on the show if you want. But Mike is still our winner after all these games. Guys.

It doesn't matter, but I feel good. Now we gotta get serious about some Leonard Maltin game. Is the DVD in one box? I don't think so. This is gonna determine it all. Mike gets to go first.

I think Graham, we'll go to Graham, and then over to Billy. And Mike gets to pick a category. Ooh. At MC underscore OG suggested Tango and Cash, and that's movies that have a dance contest in them. I'm just glad that the category wasn't the at thing,

because I was like, I don't know what that means. Oh, at MC underscore OG. No, that's just the guy who suggested it. Great. Oh, at MC underscore OG. No, that's just the guy who suggested it. Great. This next one is LOL Cool J.

Oh, that's good. LOL Cool J. I understand that. And it's comedies with LOL Cool J. Ooh. Yeah, there's not a lot of them. And your final option is at Minerva Dreaming Suggested The Babadookie

The Babadookie And that's horror films that Leonard Maltin gave two stars or less Because they were Babadookie The guy who came up with it clapped The only one clapped Is he here really? Feels like it I guess I'm gonna go

They get sent in from all over the world Billy But sometimes they are here Was that you? No Just a guy who loves Baba Duke Or just loves Dookie I choose Dance competitions

Alright Tango And cash Yeah More tango I choose dance competitions. All right. Tango and cash. Yeah. More tango. This movie's got a dance competition in it. It's from the year is 1978. Yeah.

Three stars from Leonard. He calls this movie energetic and imaginative. He says... Yep, the dance competition. Whoa, man. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Yeah, you gotta look really fast in the trash compactor scene.

Yeah. Leah and Luke take the award for best fast-footedness. But yeah, that was a funny answer, sir. But please don't yell out more answers. He didn't even yell it out. It was very casually, Star Wars.

That was his inside voice. What else would it be? That same people from the opera booth over there. Are you in a tuxedo? You have to tell me. Okay. But I was saying that this movie was followed by a sequel,

and Leonard Maltin lists 8, 11, a whopping 14 names. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I apologize. 15 names. 14 names. No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I apologize. 15 names. 15 names. I will name it in... If I just want to guess what it is,

can I do that? Then you'd say zero names. Zero names. Or if you think you know the lead performers in the film, you can go negative names, but you have to then name... If you go negative two, you've got to name the top two billed people in the film, you can go negative names, but you have to then name, like if you go negative two, you gotta name

the top two billed people in the correct order. I'm not even... Three, four, etc. I don't want to do this anymore. Mike Kaplan's gonna go prepare for his seven o'clock show, you guys. Apologies to Kristen

Vacation. I'll say zero names for fun. Alright, Graham, he says zero names. Negative two. Oh, there you have it. Graham slamming in with a negative two, leaving Billy with a very tough decision. I know the movie, I'm pretty sure, but I couldn't name

a character in it, so all I can say is name it. Well, you wouldn't need to name characters in it, first of all. What, if I... No, I'd have to go... I mean, I would have to know the top... Actors. Actors. Not characters.

It's not characters. Actors, the real person. I don't ever care if you could name a character from a movie. Hey, guess what? I can't name the fucking actors either. I don't give a shit that Scout was in To Kill a Mockingbird. I don't know the actors, I don't know the characters, but I could draw the cover of the DVD.

That is magic. That's seven points. Let's go. I'll draw the cover. Well, maybe someday I'll add a drawing competition to the games on the show. Name that movie. Name it, Graham.

The movie is Grease, and it's John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John? That's correct. Boom! Oh, shit! Is that what you were going to draw? Yeah, I knew it was Grease. So Danny Zuko, that's one of the characters in it.

I didn't know the second name, though. Sandra Dee? You knew the characters, too? Sandra Dee is a character in it or an actress in it. She's just name checked in a song. She's the one that they all look at. Well, you just made it a game. It's a girl named Roz?

Rizzo? Rizzo. Rizzo. Razzo. Rizzo is singing about, look at me, I'm Sandra Dee. Played by Stalker Channing. Yes, Sandra Dee is played by Stalker Channing. And then she grew up to be the vice president,

the president's wife, is that what? Yep. You got it. I said it wrong for a second. You figured it out. Yeah, my bad. Sandra Dee is the president. Mike, you get to pick a category again.

Oh, great. And then we will go to Billy. Just be ready, Billy. Okay. Celebrating your birthday today, Frenchie actor Gerard Depardieu. People are into Gerard Depardieu. I had no idea.

So the film is of Gerard Depardieu. I had no idea. So the films of Gerard Depardieu. Or at C-O-B-H underscore cam C-A-M suggested wanna do some lines? You wanna do some lines? And that is films where a conga line breaks out.

Films with a conga line. And friend of the show and line and friend of the show and past and future guest Bonnie McFarlane suggested on Twitter Drew Barrymore or less Drew Barrymore or less and that's movies

with Drew Barrymore or Kate Hudson the Matthew Modine of Drew Barrymore's Modine and Paxton and Kate Hudson and Barrymore that's reallyine and Paxton and Kate Hudson and Barrymore. That's really funny.

Some of them are in there. Which one of those would you want to play, Mike? I'll do the Gerard Depardieu. Okay. People are disappointed. You might be too when you hear that this movie is from 1962. Yeah, I am. Maybe it's 82.

Wait, and this has a conga line? No, what is this? No. Graham doesn't retain information. Graham forgets the game when it's done and before it begins. It's Gerard Day Perdue movies. The year is 1982.

I said 62, but it's 82. Just having some fun. Whatever, Theo, Ian, 62, 82. Yeah, there's no way he was making movies in 62. He was pretty young in 82. Okay. Three stars. There's a picture of him right here that I'm looking at.

Three stars from Leonard. This movie, he says, is French. He says it was a blockbuster. And he also said this film was remade in 1993 as Summersbee. Summersbee. So some people in the audience know the answer, but nobody on stage finds that to be a sufficient clue.

And Leonard lists five names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Mike Kaplan? I don't know, seven? Oh, five, I guess is what I have to say. Smart opening bit. Name it. Smartly played, Billy.

I just want one point. Come on, man. I think you're going to get one point. Come on, Tim. Me and you, one point. Bernard Pierre Donadieu. Yep. Maurice Jacquemont.

Manny Jackboat Parade Roger Roger Planchon Okay Natalie Natalie Bay and Gerard Depardieu

Somebody in the audience knows it I know Natalie Bay I saw this movie in San Diego because I still lived here at the time Alright Is it the only Gerard Depardieu movie that I know Mandalay Bay. I saw this movie in San Diego because I still lived here at the time. All right. Is it the only Gerard Depardieu movie that I know? Oh, boy. Green Card.

I was so excited that the only one you'd know is one of his most famous foreign ones. It's called The Return of Martin Guerre. The Return of Martin Guerre. Subtitle, Green Card. Yes. That means Billy's onere. Subtitle. Green card. Yes. That means Billy's on the board with a point. Yay.

Billy. Time to take it home. No, like I gotta go. Graham gets to pick the next category. Graham gets to pick the category, then we go to Billy. So it might not even get to you, Mike. That might have been the end of the line for you.

That'll be good. Graham, would you like Pat underscore Dwyer on MySpace on Twitter suggested science, yeah! And that is science fiction films that Leonard Maltin loved, giving three stars or more.

Science fiction films Leonard gave three stars or more. Or you could do inherent lice. And that, of course, is a category that's dead, so let's move on. Spoiler alert. Films where someone gets run over by a car. The spoiler of the car is what you're being alerted to? Mm-hmm. And a reptile dysfunction.

And that's movies where an alligator or a crocodile attacks someone. I will go science, yeah! All right. Would you like a movie that's got science in it? Science fiction, rather, from 1973 or 1993? Let's go 73. Interesting. That's right.

Three stars from Leonard for this movie from 1973 He says about this movie that it is an engaging story Uh huh Uh huh He says that it was followed by a sequel And That's all I'm gonna tell you. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, and he lists eight names.

Or, I'm sorry, seven names. Seven names. How many names can you get in, Graham? It was followed by a sequel or sequels? Followed by a sequel. What would it have been? I was being robotic because it's science fiction. And tell me how many names again?

Seven. Seven names. So quiet in here. All right, I'll go six. He says six names, Billy. Name it. Billy says name it. Your six names are Steve Franken,

Victoria Shaw, Alan Oppenheimer, Norman Barthold, James Brolin, and Yul Brynner. Science fiction. Oh, this is... This is Westworld.

That is correct! That is correct! Yeah! Graham Elwood is our winner. Graham, could you give the bag and the donut to our friend, the Simpsons? There you go, Chris. Here you go, Chris, the Simpsons.

Happy birthday, Chris. You want to suck my penis? There you go, buddy. Congratulations, dude. Sorry, Kristen. Sorry, dude. Sorry, Kristen. Sorry, Tim. Yeah, but their shitheads are going to get mentioned here at the end. Do you have one on the back of yours there,

Billy? What do you got to plug here at the end of the show, Graham? My podcast, Comedy Film Nerds, is on iTunes. Some of you listen to it. Check it out. It is the Charlie Rose to this show. This is like the daily show. We're like Charlie Rose. We're very nerdy it. Check it out. It is the Charlie Rose to this show. This is like the daily show. We're like Charlie Rose.

We're very nerdy. So check it out. Comedy film nerds. And I'll be in the back of the room selling all my stuff. 20 bucks each. Check it out. And it's all available online. Hello, Graham Elwood.

Billy Bonnell, where are you going to be, buddy? I'm going to be here co-headlining with Brendan Lynch on February 5th at 8 p.m. Please come. No one seemsth at 8 p.m. Please come. No one seems excited at this point. American. Do it for America. Come support your local hero. Also, at the end of the show, I'll be in the back letting you put money in my pockets.

I have no products. You don't have anything to sell, but if people want to just put some, they can reach right into your pocket. Don't take anything out. Like a tit pocket or a leg pocket. Yeah. You just go in there and grab around. Just put it in my pants, man. Don't mess with my tit pockets.

Those are full of salty dicks. And I'm going to sell those to Graham Elwood. I will buy Billy's salty dicks, ladies and gentlemen, wholesale. Mike Kaplan, I know it's sad to say your name after that salty dick run, but here we are, Mike Kaplan. That's fine. What do you got coming up? I'll be here tonight and tomorrow.

You guys know that. And all my dates and things are on MikeKaplan.com. You can get my albums on iTunes. My podcast is free, and it's called Hang Out With Me. I have a special on Netflix that is basically free if you have a friend who has Netflix. And it's called Small, Dork, and Handsome. And I'll also be in the back of the room with things.

So thank you. There you go. Mike Kaplan. M-Y-Q-K-A-P-L-A-N. Thanks, you guys. Go ahead and get back there and set up and get ready for the rush. Thank you, San Diego! Thank you. You're gonna get

bum-rushed by 200 people. Excited to get your products. Excited to put money in Billy's pocket. It's Bonnell, right? Bonnell. I said Bonnell that last time. Two N's, two L's. Bonnell, you guys.

Billy Bonnell. Yeah, look for him. He's got a lot going on. And he's just gonna... Are you just gonna go sit in the back? I thought you were gonna go... I thought you were gonna go... Yeah I thought you were going to go... Yeah, get your pockets out there.

I have to pee, though. Oh, you got to... I held it. He's got to pee, so wait around for him to finish that. And thank you guys for coming. Amazing crowd, as always, here in San Diego. I'm thinking ahead to next year. Next year, Christmas is going to fall on Friday,

and I was thinking maybe that Sunday night doing a show here, would that be good? Might be a little better than the next day after Christmas. It might be a little too soon to request that you guys come down to this crazy part of town. But not at all says this gentleman. Alright, well you seem like you'll come

no matter when it is, so I'm talking people that have lives and responsibilities and families and shit. But yeah, thanks for celebrating the holiday date with me and oh, and my plug was I'm going to be

in Seattle at Parlor Live at 420 on December, Saturday December 3rd. Outside the taint but close to it. What'd I say? December 3rd. Plan ahead till next December 3rd. January 3rd, you guys.

In that next year that's coming up. And as always, these are so personal, I don't know which one to say first. These are both from the heart. I'm going to say, people who say totes are shitheads. And the poo demon from Dogma

is a shithead. A key hides a bolted view and cowards make it But he, there's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies