Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood Vs. Atlanta

Episode Date: March 24, 2013

Doug talks to himself in a hotel room and shares the Leonard Maltin Game between Graham Elwood and audience members at the Punchline in Atlanta, GA.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Loves Movies! club with three great comedian friends of mine who happened to be in town. I tried to get someone from Anchorman 2 or Hugh Jackman who was in town shooting a movie, but Hugh didn't return my tweets and the guys I know who are here shooting Anchorman 2 all flew somewhere for the weekend, I guess to see their dumb families. Anyway, Graham Elwood and I did a stand-up show yesterday at 420, and like we do at almost all of my stand-up shows, we play the Leonard Maltin game at the end with audience members. I don't do it at college shows. If I'm coming to a college that you attend,

please don't be disappointed that we don't play the Leonard Maltin game, but there's hundreds of students in the audience when I play a college who do not listen to Doug Loves Movies, so the whole thing would go over their heads, or they would yell out answers, or it would just be a bummer. So we will not be playing at any of my college shows. But the good news is, I don't do a lot of college shows. It just comes along every once

in a while. Anyway, I'm going to play the audio from the Leonard Maltin game that we played yesterday at the end of this shorty. I know, don't call you shorty. Los Angeles, Thursday, March 28th to Ocean 13. I'll be doing a stand-up show at Flappers in Burbank at 10pm with one or more special guests and some Leonard Maltin game at the end. Portland, Oregon, not Maine. I'll be at Helium Comedy Club

March 29th and 30th doing four stand-up shows with Leonard Maltin game at the end and one 420 Douglas Movies taping with a full-blown Leonard Maltin game as usual. San Diego, California, not Maine. I'll be doing a 420 stand-up show on Sunday, April 7th at 420. Now it's time for Not For Metaphobes.

According to at Dustin Witts Flix, W-I-T-S-F-L-I-X, Tina Fey barfs in a bush in admission. I assume he means shrubbery and not a lady. And Matthew Good spews his word, not mine, Dustin's word, on the side of the road in Stoker. I bet a metaphobes don't really care for the word spew. I know I don't. This has been Not For Emetophobes.

Thanks, Dustin. Okay, time to wrap this up. Enjoy the Leonard Ball game from The Punch in Atlanta and as always, the movie industry not supporting and paying special effects artists is a shithead.

Doug gets the cute animated guy, and I get really creepy. Yeah, the club here, the Punchline, they put a nice thing up there that says, at Doug Benson, and my Douglas Movies logo, and then the little Twitter logo, so that people know how to tweet me, How to heckle me about the show. It's like their way of saying, don't call us if the show sucked. Fucking tweet at it. Yeah, yeah.

Go directly to the artist. Yeah. Why drag us into it? What the fuck do you want us to do? Yeah. We're just a barn. Yeah. We're just trying to run a barn. We played out all the zombies, and now we have a good many people in here.

Yeah, Daryl's running security, so it's fucking good. Got his crossbow. Let's look at what's in the prize bag, because somebody here today is going to win a bunch of stuff in a laundry bag from the hotel. And I was trying to bring some fun stuff like a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt is in there

and my CD smug line. And this is like, this was given to me by the great comedian Sean Cullen, who of course is from Canada. And he gave me a Toronto Maple Leafs hoodie.

It's green. And it has an angry maple leaf on the front of it. Is that who that guy is? Is he a maple leaf? I think that's probably a leprechaun. Okay. And it's the same guy as Nate Pink Van. They're not their actual colors, but...

Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, okay. Well, maybe it's your track over here. No, I don't know. So that's the thing, is that's why I can't wear it, is because people will be like,

yeah, maple leaves! I'll be like, yeah, syrup! I don't know what to say to them about their precious hockey. Yeah, syrup! I don't know what to say to them about their precious hockey. Yeah, syrup! I don't want to be insulting, you know. So there's also a Douglas Movies pin in there, and like Graham said earlier,

he's going to include a copy of Paul Strachan's dance. Yeah, remember when it's just come back there, I'll get it to you. Sign it for you. Well, that sounds shady. Yeah, remember when it's, you know, I'll be out come back there. I'll get it to you. Well, that sounds shady. Yeah, whoever wins, you know, I'll be out in the alley. I'll see you later. Don't worry about it. Yeah, it's gonna be

cool. So, did anybody bring name tags today? I hope so. Hopefully you have some name tags. Yeah! Guy yelling denver yell over there. And it looks like a fight club situation over there. I like that like a fight club situation over there.

I like that. A giant hello, my name is Jarvis. Wouldn't be so proud of that if I was you. And your name is Jarvis, after all. Nice. And Scott has his name on a little stick. That's cute. There's a guy in the balcony.

Lee has his thing in the balcony. Oh, yeah. Shout out to the balcony. balcony. Lee has his thing in the balcony. Oh, yeah. Shout out to the balcony. Oh, Lee Harvey Oswald on the balcony. Thanks, bro. That's the wrong president's reference. We are a book suppository. That's what you wrote.

A book suppository? Yeah. You've never had a book? Your ass hurts and you jam a book in there? Yeah, that's where it hurts. You got a book on the screen. Put it up in there. Why'd you book in there? It's the smart way to take care of hemorrhoids. Alright, next question. We're taking questions now? What is happening? That's how politicians always get out of shit. Oh, well, I can't confirm it or not.

Yeah, over here. Helen from Associated Press. And then I think there's something lit up back there. Is that my imagination? That might be a fun one. Yeah. Yeah, what is that? The Goo Gabites.

It's a what? The Goo Gabites. My name's Googie. Your name is Googie. All right. Turn it off. Put it down. My name's Googie. Your name is Googie. All right. Turn it off. Put it down. Jeez.

You're not even Jarvis up here, then Googie. Lee, can you take that guy out for me? How'd you find out about the show?

Oh, I Googie'd it. I'm sorry, Googie. What is that? He really turned it off and put it down. It looks like a fun name tag. So, Graham, who do you want to play against? This woman is holding up a bottle of wine. That looks like trouble.

Is it gluten-free? Is that vegan wine? Is that a vegan gluten-free wine box? Yep. Yes, she says. It's made in Googie Vineyards. All right, we'll go. All right, you just pick somebody.

All right, like, woman clapping that director thing, that time thing. Oh, director clapping thing. Clapping thing, yeah. Yeah, you, woman clapping that director thing. That time thing. Oh, director clapping thing. Clapping thing, yeah. What was your podcast? Yeah, you're in movies. They make movies

and you don't know what that's called. Clapping thing. Yeah, get that clapping thing over here. There's a very, very tight seating in this club, so she'll be here

in a few hours. Actually, you can go through that door right there. Oh, really? You're going to give her a backstage tour? Backstage tour.

Don't touch the cocaine. Don't touch the cocaine. All right. She touched any of my cocaine. Hi. Hi. What's your name? Lisa.

Hi, Lisa. Were you just wandering around the parking lot with Googie with that? No. Okay. What is it? Can you describe it? You just grab this microphone.

Okay, it says, scene, TV, take 420. Nice, so that's really arduous shoot. Roll one. Roll one. I get it. I, uh... I'm gonna roll one if you don't hurry up. I got today's date for everybody. It's for everybody.

She knows what kind of crowd it is. Don't forget, today's the 23rd, you guys. And I stole my name out of letters. Numbers. Numbers. You used the five for the S, I get it. So she's all, yeah, she's like, this is my name to binary. I do want to point out, when I found this on the side of the road, which is where I got it, it says, BA won't fly, A-Team episode number 62.

Well, that's awesome. That's a collector's item. I remember when one BA wouldn't fly. That was every episode. And then it got built. They shot that show in Atlanta? Yeah. Well, it's based on a true story. She's trying to answer the question. Well, when I found it, it said

Due 69 on it, so I really don't think it's original. Oh. Well, somebody pretended to make a B.A. Wolf Fly clapperboard. I think they shot that here in 1969.

All right. All right. All right. How are you in playing the Leonard Walton game? Very good. Very good. Okay, decent. I think we got

a little drunk contestant on our hands, folks. I was going to do that. I can't do it by half. Who was before the center station? No, no, I was trying to get away from you guys.

So you can't cheat. Cheat. You can't even pronounce what words. And for those of you in the audience who don't know what's happening, it's March 23rd. Yes. And this is just between Lisa and Graham,

so please don't yell out if you think you know the answer. She gets to pick a category between these three. In theaters now, that's motion pictures that are in theaters now. Or, some assembly required, that's a movie with two or more of the Avengers in it.

Yeah. And legal in Mexico, and that's movies that have turned 13 this year. Awesome category. Which one of those do you like? Mexico! I'm going to go Mexico.

Okay, you know this is going to have nothing to do with Mexico. It's just a movie that came out in 2000. 2000. Well, yeah, or 1999. All right.

You know what I mean? Turn 13 in the... You get the idea. In the turd thing. It might be turd thing. It's weird, turd. You know, it's like when they have an awards show in April and they say it was for the last year of things.

Yeah. I think this category has been loaded up in my phone for too long. No one would ever pick it. Oh, wow. So Lisa really saved the day this year. But I will say explicitly that this came out in 1999 at the very end of the year. Okay. So the movie is 13 until next December.

Sure. When he'll turn 14. Oh, nice. Nice. Nice. I think. I could be wrong. Three stars from Leonard for this movie that he calls one of the actors in it.

It's that actor's final film. Yeah, so it's kind of sad, bittersweet. And he also says that the overall impact of this movie is muted by the film's length. The impact is muted by the length. And he lists a shit ton of people. He lists 19 people? 19 actors?

Yeah. I bid one big time. Yes, sir. Yeah, I think 19 names. So you get the first bid. Lisa, how many names do you think you can get it in? I think I'll go for 19. 19, she says.

Aggressive. She's no daughter of that. She knows what she's doing. I will go 15. Oh, okay. Interesting. I'll go for lucky number 13. 13 it is.

Let's see. I will go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10.

Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10.

Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Maybe I'll go with 10. Ten. Three. I like eight. Oh, she likes it. Eight names I will go with.

Seven. Name them. All right. All right, Graham has to name it. You get seven names, Graham. All right. And they are Eileen Ryan, Felicity Huffman, Henry Gibson, Michael Murphy, Alfred Molina, Ricky Jay, and the great Luis Guzman. What do you think it is? Read me the clues again.

We don't have time for that. You know, he says that it was muted by the length and the after it was in, it passed away. It was their last film. I think La Julia, that was length and the after there's any passed away or was there a last film? I think Wild Julia, that was the guy who passed away.

I would not say yes or no to that because you know that I don't do that. I have a loose sort of swaying back and forth like we're back on a good shit boat. It's a good shit lollipop on a dirty boat in Liverpool. I'm sorry.

All right. We should say Grandma and I have done lots of of cruises and they're rarely a shit bag. I know. I mean, I always like shit into a bag. That's just me. You just do that anyway. You leave that for the people that clean your room. Yeah.

Because you know they'll have a laugh. I always set it on fire, Jim. Stop it. Oh. There you go. Have a laugh. Oh, they're laughing shit bags on the camera that are on fire. Time's up.

What's the movie called? No! Adds Family Values. Oh, no. Adds Family Values. Oh, no. Adds Family Values. Oh, they're laughing shitbags. Time's up! What's the movie called? Oh, it's Family Values. Wow!

Really? That movie was ruined by the length? It's like 90 minutes long. They have a baby with a mustache. I can't think of them that way. I was trying to think of one who died right around that time, and I pretty sure you were all drooling at the time. Yeah, that movie had a baby named Puberty. And the rest of the names are Melinda Dillon, April Grace,

Michael Bowen, Jeremy Blackman, Philip Baker Hall, William H. Macy, Melora Walters, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jason Roberts, John C. Reilly, Julianne Moore, Tom Cruise. Oh, thank you all very much. Yeah, you dummy. Ha! Lisa wins! There you go, Lisa. Congratulations. Thank you, Mr. DeConnery.

Come by, I'll bring you the CD. Yeah, one more time, everybody, for Brandon Elwood. Lisa, Lisa. Thank you, Hannah. Sam's post-jam. Lisa, Lisa, without the jam. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.

There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!