Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood Vs. Bethlehem, PA

Episode Date: September 7, 2013

Graham Elwood plays The Leonard Maltin Game against audience members at Arts Quest in Bethlehem, PA.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Loves Movies! at ArtsQuest in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, and the winner of the Leonard Moulton game against Graham Elwood is joining us on the show today at Helium in Philly at 420. I'll play the audio of that showdown at the Steel Stacks at the end of this mini. Speaking of minis, they're getting their own feed.

Yes, starting soon, or now, rental car eps, versus eps, and movie interruption intros can be found under their very own title, Doug Loves Minis, in iTunes, and you can still hear them at douglovesmovies.com, if that's your thing. Friday, I flew to Philadelphia, and on the first plane from LAX to O'Hare,

Amy Mann and Ted Leo, of Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, were on the plane. If that wouldn't have gone down, I would have gotten second or third billing in the news story, I'm sure. This has been another installment of Plane Droppers. I caught What's Your Number? last night on HBO, a charming comedy featuring past and future, I hope, Douglas Movies guests Chris Pratt, Chris Evans, and Tom Lennon as Christopher Nolan's doctor. Actually, he was a gynecologist in Miami in that one, so he was probably a different doctor.

The downside to the movie is you have to endure several shots of, Hey, could you quit slamming those doors? I'm trying to make a mini. I said stop slamming those doors. Jerks. You have to endure several shots of Joel McHale's ass. Yeah, this has been not for Joel McHale's ass-a-phobes.

Plugs. Tuesday. Benson movie interruption. Cabin fever. 10th anniversary screening at the Alamo Drafthouse in Yonkers, New York. Next weekend, Saturday, St. Louis Triple. Dining with Doug and Karen at 420. Doug Loves Movies at 8, which is sold out.

And a stand-up show at 11 o'clock that has plenty of seats. So come on down to the Firebird. Or go to DougLovesMvies.com and find the link and buy the tickets that way. And Sunday, stand up in Milwaukee at the Turner Ballroom. So many seats available.

It's embarrassing, but the people who do show up there in Milwaukee, we will have a good time. And now, the very echoey Leonard Maltin game from ArtsQuest. Enjoy.

Hey, Bethlehem, are you ready to play the Leonard Mullen game? I've got a bag full of prizes. Some really good ones tonight. I've got a plastic 49 set knife set from backstage here at the beautiful Arts Quest. You can get it anywhere. This is how they take care of the talent backstage, you guys. There's a whole stack of them. I just took the one. I'm going to eat the whole bunch of them. And then also from my hotel room, all the things you need to make some coffee, some cups, some basic coffee, spoons, ten thousand spoons and all you need is a knife,

and coffee with my most recent CD date-break dog. And then those are for these t-shirts, so if it fits your size, you can get them on your photo, and you can come and compete on the actual show. And I'm waiting for a show director to be like a single-master. Sure, that's an option. Shampoo, lotion, and conditioner from the hotel? Yeah, my hotel is waking me up. Man, that's amazing.

You can't wear those anywhere else. No, no, that's a question for me. Because I know that I like to give it away. And, um, from my friends at, uh, FuzzyBallsApparel.com, a packet of wacky tattoos, even, from their coffee. And they're... they look like it's just a bundle, they're permanent. And I'll throw a copy in my CD, Grandma's Palm Strike Dance Party. Which also looks like it's fun, but it's permanent. So you will never get Palm Strike Dance Party out of your head.

So you've been warned. Um... Okay. Let's see your name tags, you know! So you've been warned. Church? Okay. Let's see your names, guys. You know, I'm going to watch that shit out. According to you, I can hear a wound monkey somewhere in the auditorium. Wow, that's huge. There's that big one with the Keith-David math problem that I was talking about earlier.

David-Keith plus Keith-David minus David equals Keith. That's his name. The boot monkey's still going off. Oh, here's another big one over here. This is Zach on it. Zach to the future. I get it. Americ.

America pie. Americ pie. American pie. Yeah. Yeah, that's some good ones. Doug and Jill. I've seen that one before right yeah I have

I'll see Christine Angler don't tell mom the baby see her dead alright this guy just went five times better than the whole lot

he's saying don't tell mom the baby see her dead it's five times better do you guys like your weird fucking math questions

in this goddamn town do you guys notice the battleship from Waterworld right out there? Did you see that? That was exciting. Welcome to the new rehearsal. See you guys later. I'm going to check that out.

Bye-bye. Who do you want to play against, Graham? Who do you think is a worthy competitor and deserving of... That Woot Monkey is still going off. All right, let's do Zach to the future. Come on up. All right, Zach. To the future.

Can you bring your name tag with you? Can you walk up over here? Come on over here on this way. Oh, great idea, Graham. Pick the person that's the farthest away from the steps to get up here. There you go. He's moving fast, though. He's a fast-moving Zach.

Oh, wow. Why so fast, Zach? He just went into a light jog. Wow. Then he stopped. It got a little... There you go. Here he comes.

He's got the bag. Howdy, Zach. Come on. Let's go. Right there. There's a picnic there. I brought the little one. Asshole. who are you?

Go back and get it. Oh, I do like that. That's nice. Alright, stand right there. I'm glad the big name tag is a C. God, this is terrible. Everyone wants to see your name tag. If you win tonight, you have to bring it tomorrow. We'll do it. Show it to everybody.

Yeah. I've never seen a big, swish name tag. That's a little funny. I also didn't know that you was the one with the woot monkey. What does that have to do with your sign, the woot monkey? It got your attention. It did kind of get our attention in an annoying way. There it is.

Oh, there's Tom Wilson. I mean, Biffy, you are nice. I don't know why I'm dressed so spiffy. Why do I have like a tuxedo on? That's what Michael Jack Fox was wearing in that scene? No, he's dead. Oh, he's dead. Crispin Cawper was wearing it.

Oh, yeah, he had a nice white tux on. You've got to hold it the whole time, Zach. You're driving me crazy. Stand on the ground and you're correct, but it doesn't count. If you answer correctly and you're not on the carpet, it doesn't count. And I'll send you off to the water world. All right, this is just between Zach and Graham

this is a very important competition so don't yell out if you think you know the answer you guys yes and don't pre-guess Zach you should know better pre-guessing yeah you and your god damn pre-guessing

what is he a pre-cop what would you like to play, Zach? Would you like Joe Mama? That's movies that either have Joe or Mama in the title. Or Golden Shower's P-Book. And that's movies that begin with P. Not someone doing it, the letter. That's a long way to go.

And Hook, which is movies that have prostitution, fishing, the letter. That's a long way to go. And Hook, which is movies that have prostitution, fishing, or both. Which one of those would you like to play, Zach? I'll show you this playbook. Okay. This movie begins with the letter P. Step off the fucking carpet, Zach.

I will cut off your foot. You have a misery right? We're going to play next time. Yeah, we humble everybody that steps off this carpet. Two stars from Leonard in this movie from 2002. He says about this movie that it features a dysfunctional man. that it features a dysfunctional man, and he also says that the movie's intriguing at first,

but awfully hard to take. Yeah, and Lennon gave it two stars. He only lists five names. How many names do you think you can name it in, Zach? Four. Strong opening bid. Four, he says, Graham. I got the Woo Monkey shirt on.

He's got a Woo Monkey shirt on. What kind of underwear do you have, Zach? Please don't show this. I got a Hulu plus thong. All my shit. Sponsored. All right. Quit stalling, Graham. What's your bid? What's your bid? Oh, I bid. I can name it in zero names because I'm looking right at it. He says four names. Who's that crazy laugh? I'm pretty sure it's someone that's not even watching this show. It's somebody on the staff here that's just in the back giggling about something.

How many, Grant? You can say three, two, one, zero. I'll go three. Negative one, negative two. Name it. Name it. Name it. Name it.

Name it. This is intense. This lady's already not on board with these actions. I can count to three. Begins with letter P, Grabs. From 2002, two stars. About a dysfunctional man. Movie's awfully hard to take.

And your three names are two people with three names and another person. And they are Marilyn Ricegub, Luis Guzman, and Philip Seymour Hoffman. And the movie is called...

Oh, I'm struck off. That's correct. Sorry, Zach. Have a seat, Zach. I don't want you to do that look again. Now, leave struck love. That's correct. Sorry, Zach. Have a seat, Zach. I don't want to do it with that look again. Now leave the monkey. Thank you so much. Good job. Oh, get the fuck off the stage, bitch.

I'm some weird cocky with this fucking name tag switcheroo, and I fucking ate his goddamn lunch. Want to come to Haley tomorrow? Buy a ticket. Okay, folks. It might be sold out. Oh, sorry, Zach. Let's pick somebody else. All right. Who can pick that place? All right, we'll go crazy math problem sign. Let's go. Get up here, Keith. Come on, Keith.

You can do it, buddy. That's the same sign. Okay, thank you. No wait, switch. Yeah, he brought his actual sign up here. And it's the math problem that ends up in Keith. Which is all we need to know, really. Let's interview him quickly, Graham. We didn't ask Zach anything about himself.

Where are you from? Broughtonville. Okay, that's enough. I really feel like we know him now. We know who he is. We really got to know this guy. Keith. Would you like to know this guy. Keith. Would you like to play Talk to the Hand?

That's movies that have sign language in them. The Spectacle Now? That's movies where the lead performer wears glasses. Or Rogue vs. Wade? And that's movies where one or more people are lost at sea. where one or more people are lost at sea? What works the way? Oh, someone's lost at sea.

Nice choice. Would you like a movie where someone or people are lost at sea from 1944, 1990, or 2004? 2004. There's a living sick out there. I think that lady is at the show. She's crazy.

That's a serial killer. 2004. I'm wearing a space jacket. 2004 is the year. Three stars from Mr. Maltin. The movie's only 80 minutes long. He says it's the debut feature for the writer, director, editor,

co-cinematographer. One person did all of that stuff. And it says his wife produced and did camera work for this movie that got three stars in 2004. And it features one or more people lost at sea.

And Leonard lists two names. How many names do you think you'd think you'd name this movie, Keith? I think I'm going to name it Sarah Haynes. Sarah Haynes, that's right. So I'm pretty sure we have a winner on our hands. They all know the movie, just who is the guy

and his wife. Who the hell are those people? Yeah. I don't think you're going to come up with it. I think you're going to have to throw it to him. See, I don't fucking react. I think you see it.

I think the movie title at least just fucking come up. It's coming back. I'm going to go over and block it. Let's put the microphone in Keith's face so you can announce that the movie is called Pokemon. That's correct! You're our winner, Keith! Good job.

Good job. Thank you very much. I don't understand why you didn't let us hear it. I gave you the exact same quote on me. Oh, I knew that the minute you were describing it, I knew exactly what it was. 2004, it was.

1990 was, I know what the 90 was. Yeah, the two people in it were Blanchard Ryan and Daniel Travis. Yeah, it's an intense fucking movie. Check it out if you're not afraid of dying or sharks or being alone in the water.

If you're afraid of any of those things, it's probably not for you. Graham Golan, thank you so much! And as always, anyone who steps off of the rug is an issue. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. steps off of the rug is the shithead.