Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood Vs. Irvine, CA

Episode Date: December 27, 2012

Graham Elwood plays The Leonard Maltin Game against audience members at the Improv in Irvine, CA.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby suits, cheese seats with 50 ads and popcorn shits. December 28th. And I'm in a hotel room in Orange County, California, the day after a sold-out show at the Irvine Improv. Thanks to all who came out. As the title of this ep suggests, Graham Elwood played the Leonard Maltin game against one or more audience members, and I will play the audio of it after I do some plugs and stuff. Tonight, I'll be doing a set at the Death Squad show

at the Ice House in Pasadena, California. And I believe we'll also be taping an Ice House Chronicles that you can check out as a podcast later or watch the live stream this evening if you're laying low tonight to save up your money and energy for New Year's Eve. Speaking of which, I'll be at the Knob Hill Masonic Temple in San Francisco on New Year's Eve with Anthony Jeselnik, Amy Schumer, Arj Barker, Brendan Walsh, and Chris Tinkle. That's a

fantastic lineup whether I was on it or not. And on January 3rd, Graham Elwood and I will be at the Orlando, Florida Improv. Deets and links for all of my shows at DougLovesMovies.com. Now it's time for Best of Two Oceans 12, my picks for some of the best things in movies this year. Scariest moment in a movie this year goes to Project X, when that doggy is tied to a big balloon and starts to float away to certain death. That bummed me out more than any other crazy, weird, scary thing that happened in that movie. I was very happy to see a shot of the pooch back on the ground later in the film. And it's also fun to watch the dog seemingly enjoying a bouncy house. This has been Best of Two Oceans 12. More to come. Los Angeles, don't forget that on January 8th, Doug Loves Movies moves to 7 p.m. at the UCB Theater.

It's still free to get in, and if you have a ticket to the 8 o'clock show, you can stay in your seat for that. The 8 o'clock show is called Put Your Hands Together, and it will feature all the great comics you've grown accustomed to seeing in the comedy bang-bang

shows. And as always, torture is a shithead does anyone reindeer for games that's the last time i'm gonna say reindeer for games because it's gonna be not not christmas season anymore right buddy very soon that's right turn the corner do you think malls should tear down the decorations and stop the Christmas music right on December 26th? No. You go through the first of the year. You go to January 1st.

January 2nd. Somewhere in there. You pull it down. January 3rd, we can fucking kick that shit in and bust it up. Set it on fire. And start a riot. Yeah. Let's do it, you guys. On January 3rd, any

Christmas shit you see, break it. Oh, and put it in your butt. Teach them a goddamn lesson about how their dumb Christmas tree is in your butt. It's beginning to seem a lot like Christmas. Why would you do that?

That's so immature. Yeah, why would you put stuff in your bottle at the beginning of the Christmas season? I know. Thanksgiving! Why would you wait till the... Alright, we gotta play this game. We gotta do this. Come on. There's gotta be

some Douglas Movies fans in the crowd that brought some name tags. Oh, shit. Yeah, name tags are how you get picked to play the game. We don't have a ton of them because a lot of people here tonight are just innocent individuals who don't listen to podcasts.

There's a really big one over there. What's going on with that over there? What is that thing? Open up. It's a whole poster for... What's that a poster for? Is thatara a cone is what sarah the barbarian i'm sarah and i'm a barbarian hi you guys are you sure you didn't mean librarian are enemies, see them driven before you. Alright, Sarah the Barbarian is here. And then there's someone over there who has one.

There's very few names. Very few names. But it's a great crowd. Right there. So Graham, just go out and pick who you'd like to play against. I'm going to go with Sarah the Barbarian. Oh, get her up here.

Come on now. Give her a big round of applause, ladies and gentlemen. Bring that poster with you. He's going to put that poster in her book. No, she's helping. Stop saying that about everything. Hi, Sarah. Show everybody your beautiful handiwork there. That's nice. That's amazing. Sarah the Barbarian.

Wow, that's impressive. Yeah, the only letter you used for Conan is the A. And then you just drew over all the others with Sharpie. Sarah, where are you from? Where do you work? You did it. Where are you from, Sarah? Long Beach. Aw, shit!

Oh! LBC! LBC-atch! And you listen to the podcast, and you know how this game works? Yes. Of course, because she made a fantastic name tag. So Graham and Sarah are going to play head-to-head in one round of Leonard Ball game. If she wins, she's going to get everything in the prize bag. If she loses, we're going to pull up another contestant. We don't have too much time. We're going to pull up another person and have them play.

Yeah. And hopefully someone will win. contestant. We don't have too much time. We're going to pull up another person and have them play. Hopefully someone will win. Graham's pretty good at this. Yes, I am. Not that good. So you have that voice. I'm not good enough to have that voice. You can't have a cocky voice. That's not cocky.

That's creepy. Creepy cocky. You want my creep cock? Did I say that wrong? That is the worst pick-up line in the history of any lady. You want my creep cock? You want my creep cock?

It's not great, it's pretty creepy. Do you want to be in me? It's yours for the asking. Do you want to come in me? It's yours for the asking. Do you want to come in my windowless van? Do you want to make a webisode? That's popular Spider-Man pickup line. All right, he just goes,

Webisode. I'm gonna webisode on your face. I'm gonna give you a webisode necklace. What? Okay, Sarah gets to pick between three categories. This is just between Sarah and Graham, so please don't try to help if you think you know the answer at any point.

Don't yell out. Yeah. At Pat Kierman on Twitter suggested flu season, and that's any movie where someone climbs down a chimney. Yeah. Or I Am the Walrus suggested This Is A40, which is movies with either old or English in the title. This is a 40. Or Harry Maguire, Hey, suggested by Jay Clumper,

and that's movies where Tom Cruise, or Crom 2's, has long hair. Harry Maguire. Harry Maguire. She's in for Harry Maguire. Harry Maguire. This movie where Tom Cruise has long hair is from 1994.

Leonard Bolton, on his movie review app, gives it one and a half stars. So that's not a good sign. He says the actors can't be faulted, nor can the handsome production design. Yeah, so Leonard doesn't know where to place the blame. Has anyone ever said handsome production design? It's handsome. That's handsome. Good looking production design. Sharply dressed. And he also says it takes place

in, uh, partially in contemporary San Francisco. So these are terrible clues, So these are terrible clues, as they are meant to be, and Leonard Maltin lists nine names of cast members of this movie. How many names, Sarah, do you think it'll take you to discern the title of this motion picture? Nine. Very smart opening. That's what I encourage the contestants to do. Seven. And Graham, classic Graham Oldwood move, knocks a couple off, but still has seven names. And he gets to hear if you say name that movie.

Six. What do you get to do with that, Emily? You gonna put that in your butt? Put six names in your butt. That's the name of my new album. I'm British. But we have a wine tune, six names in your butt. Please don't touch her. I hate it.

This is creepy. I hear my puns now. Is that your neck? So you someplace don't touch it? I like... Is this creepy? Are you having fun, Sam? Is that your neck? I like your neck. That's another creepy thing you want to do, won't it? I like your neck. Great knees. You get women love without expecting compliments.

Oh my god! I love your clavicle! Oh... Really good clavicle. Has anyone told you you have great lobes? Oh my god, that thumbnail! So cute. You're in a weird delay. She's laughing at something 30 minutes ago. Make that movie.

Oh! Six names? Yeah. Do it! Do it! She can do it. Don't help her out, you guys. make that movie oh six names yeah okay do it she can do it don't help her out you guys Sarah the Barbarian

here's your six names Indra Ova Fanny Newton Domiziana Giordano you're laughing now, Graham. I know. Check this out. Fuck.

Kirsten Dunst. Christian Slater. Stephen Ray. And Tom Cruise has long hair. What's the name of the movie, Sarah? Interview with the Vampire. That's correct! You did it!

You win! Thank you for playing, Sarah! Thank you! Welcome! Nice slopes! Nice slopes! Great C1 Spinal! Thank you! Awesome! Love your C1 Spine!

Damn it! That was nice! She seemed unconfident. I should have gone with five. Is unconfident a word? Sure, to think it is. To think it is? You're very sans-conscious. The French version.

Les Miserables. Les Miserables. That's the greatest thing about Les Miserables. No one in the movie even remotely attempts a French accent. It's all just French people in America. Russell Cross. Dirt Aaron! You've never seen that yet, have you?

No way! Oh, so never? Never. Never? Wow. Put your foot down. Fucking miserables. The miserables?

Ladies and gentlemen, the miserables! What if it was called Zero Dark Miserables? Then we could send shit out of it. Yeah, yeah. You'd put some Navy Seals up in fucking revolutionary France. You like military time signatures. Yeah. Let them eat cake.

What time of day is Zero Dark Thirty? Don't worry about it. That was the last thing Osama Bin Laden said. Don't worry about it. What time you got? Don't worry about it. That was the last thing Osama Bin Laden said. What time you got? Don't worry about it. Bang! You saw that movie? Yeah, I loved it.

Yeah? Alright. I thought it was alright. It was good. Based in Jalalabad. I performed there. And then I got on a helicopter that came under fire right near the Pakistan border where they jumped over to shoot him. Oh, so that's why that movie was exciting for you. Yeah. I've never been over there, so for me it was like, oh, that seems far away.

That seems like none of my concern. John, I'm waterboard. I'm a walking board. Grand Ole, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you, Graham. Thank you. Palace makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies