Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood Vs. Madison, WI

Episode Date: August 10, 2013

Graham Elwood plays the Leonard Maltin Game against audience members at Comedy On State in Madison, WI.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Loves Movies! and I'll play the audio of Graham Elwood playing the Leonard Maltin game against audience members at the end of this shorty. Right now I'm taking a little break from a Breaking Bad marathon on AMC to record this, so I hope you appreciate the sacrifice I'm making. Can't wait for the new season to begin tonight. I'll be in super, super hot Tempe, Arizona tomorrow for shows at the Tempe Improv. On Tuesday that'll be stand-up, and Wednesday, Doug Loves Movies. Super, super hot Tempe, Arizona tomorrow for shows at the Tempe Improv on Tuesday. That'll be stand-up. And Wednesday, Doug Loves Movies.

Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. Past and future guest at Nikki Glaser tweeted, Sometimes we forget that Leo DiCaprio is also an accomplished babysitter for models. This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about movie stars named Leo. Next weekend, I'm doing movie interruptions in Kansas City, Missouri at the Alamo Drafthouse Main Street. For dates and deets and links, go to DouglovesMovies.com.

Now, enjoy Madison. I know I did, and do. I'm looking forward to taping Dougloves Movies today at 420. And as always, visual jokes are a shithead. Hey, Madison, Wisconsin, you ready for some Leonard Baldwin? Yeah, don't go blaming the year. Year of war choices.

1986 totally just fucked up, you guys. Google it. You can just say that with anything. Oh, just Google it. What the? You stole 20 bucks out of my wallet. Now I didn't Just Google it. What? You stole 20 bucks out of my wallet. Now I didn't Google it. Alright.

Alright. Graham took 20 bucks out of my wallet. Return. I hit the return button. Send. Should I hit the send button? Send, maybe? What's in the prize bag, Graham?

A Doug Loves Boogies t-shirt! And a copy of my latest gateway, Doug. And... oh, these are good. A card that has the rules of how to play the round of the round. That's right, guys. And my hotel room key from when we were in Salem, Oregon. Do you guys want to stay at the Grand Hotel in Salem, Oregon? That's how you do it.

Or you could at least get the breakfast buffet. Free breakfast buffet, guys. If you're visiting San Lamorgan, probably not a reason to visit just to get one free breakfast. If you're driving between Eugene and Portland, you can stop in the stadium. There you go. Free breakfast.

Sounds like we just made a plan. I should take that back, because we'll probably do that again. We'll probably drive from Eugene to Portland. Yes, we will. And what are you going to take tribute to the battleground? Oh, I'll give a copy of my CD, Grand Olds Pulse Drink Dance Party. Pulse Drink Dance Party! Pulse Drink Dance Party! Pulse Drink! Let's see some name tags, you guys. Let's let you know.

We can get the house lights up a little bit. Spirit. People that scribbled their name on the complaint cards probably won't get picked. There we go. Thanks for the shot. We just ruined the shot. We just ruined the shot. Oh, we got some weight in the back there. There you go.

You guys are just holding up hands saying, also, you're doing well. I know, it's just a stand-up show. A lot of got some way in the back there. There you go. You guys are just holding up hand signals like you're doing a live show. I know, it's just a stand-up show. A lot of people are looking around like, hey, tags, what the fuck? But it's just a little thing we do. We listen to Douglas movies to... Why are you guys just making hand signals

and holding up a menu? That's not... Oh, really? I think we should just pick the biggest sign, right? Doesn't that always seem to equate... I'll go with my man with the kittens on his side. That's the best answer? Yeah!

I need to make a reference to Gary or the full of second row. The full of second row. Do you really just leave your name tag in your seat? The main tag. Do you understand? Yes. It should be attached to you. It's attached to me.

Oh look at that. It's like a PG folder. You beat my wife at Appletun. Oh! Oh, I just got red in her mouth. Look, look! This is Buffalo Guy in his great Buffalo gal. Wait, I played your wife in 73. You played her ball game in Appleton?

Yes, you did, and you beat our Muckpipe! Sweet. My wife played and lost one of her grandkids, Vicki, so I can redo our family name, and it's kittens. Okay. Repay your honor. Alright, so what's your real name? My name is Ross. What is it?

My name is Ross. Okay. Thank you for enunciating, Ross. Yeah, don't forget to use your microphone. My name is Ross! Let's start off the second one. These are the drugs you're looking for. Ross gets to pick a category. Would you like, at Stu through and through, a vitamin C supplement, or a vitamin C supplement?

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Ross gets to pick a category. Would you like at Stu through and through

I'm not even going to spell it. That's such a ridiculous name on Twitter. He wrote Please don't touch the contestant. I'm not touching him. He's touching me. He wrote to me suggesting Pacific

Three inches higher and this is a right if you're going to do it. Wow. Ross bust out of radio and we ran this officer microphone. Wow, it was a visual joke.

Alright, people listening, I had my hand on Ross' thigh and he said three inches higher and to the right. Oh, also for the people listening,

we apologize. That was your Bane voice, Ross? Come on. You need to go three inches higher. Yeah. You gotta get your hands on the microphone to do a Bane voice. Sorry. He gave me a microphone. Take control of Graham's microphone.

Take control. What the Lord said. Take control. What a lovely thing to see. What a lovely thing to see. Alright, Graham, we have barely any time. Your category's Ross.

Greg Warren's got a show name. Your category's... We've got a merch table to set up. Let's do it. It's all running. Pacific Rim Shot. Yeah, that's comedies that have robots in them. Comedies with robots. Or, celebrating your birthday today,

an impersonated myth by me briefly earlier this evening, the great Antonio Banderas. Tony B. Tony Busy. Tony Bravo. So the films of that gentleman, or at Toys for Twats, suggested,

Flock of Seagulls, and that's movies with Jason Seagulls, Steven Seagal, or both. I'll take the first category, Antonio Banderas. Oh. But please ask for it with an accent. And some bass. Ross has been rehearsing. The basement. Ross is on fire, but doesn't have his own microphone.

So great. If someone's on fire, don't give them a microphone. Put them out. Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie from... 2011. Yeah, pretty recent. Yeah. Yeah. He calls the main character of this movie self-serious.

And he also says that... This movie is lively and masterfully staged. Yeah. From 2011. And he lists a whopping seven names. How many names? It's just between Ross and Graham. How many names do you think you can get it in?

Six names. Six, he says. Five. Five names. Ross. Four names. Woah, he's saying four names. Graham.

Ross, name that thing. You were sent to darkness, your ally. That was ballin' at Ross. The films of Antonio Banderas, 2 1⁄2 stars, 2011. The character is self-serious and, uh, slively and masterfully staged. and the character is self-serious, and, uh, it's lively and masterfully staged.

And your four names... are, quote, settle down, fellas. There's a lot more business going on between Graham and the contestants than I'm used to. I just want the contestants to feel comfortable, I mean... They're addressed in my home. This doesn't feel comfortable watching it. They're addressed in my home. Your four names are... From 2011, Antonio Pateras. What's the name of that movie?

I don't have it. You don't have it? I don't know. I'm asking you, what is the name of that movie? Not, uh, give me some excuses. Some sort of... The movie is... You picked Antonio Panderas.

It's as recently as two years ago. I've made a horrible mistake. Just say something. Say something. Say a movie that Antonio Banderas was in. Because I bet you know one of those. Because you picked the category. I did!

I would say... Well, okay, how about... Say it! Damn it! Antonio Banderas! Once Upon a Time in Mexico. How about the movie I mentioned during my act tonight while doing an impression of him? Puss in Boots him puss in boots. Puss in boots.

Sit down, you idiot. You have shamed your family's name. I have defeated you and your wife. I will defeat your heirs, so send your children to me and they will bow before me in a corner of Redwater!

This means war! Oh! Now go, Southern Dory! Pick somebody else! You gotta write this stuff! Here it falls off! Alright, every lucky guy with a DVD who's got a Bill Murray shirt. You look like you know a lot about Bill Murray. Let's give it up to you.

Thank you to Ross. You're outstanding. Yeah, that's fine. Here's the first one. This is Deplorable. What's your name? Kyle. This is Deplorable and Horrible at the same time.

It's Deplorable and, uh, Deplorable. horrible at the same time. It's deplorable. And, uh, deplorable. No. I like it. You wrote Doug Benson over a Blade Runner, over a Garcinfor, but Doug Benson is Blade Runner. And then you put my face over his. And then you do an expression that, you know, he probably should have made. I don't think he would have made it. Ted was too serious. He didn't just look at things and go, Whoooo! Yeah, yeah! I'm gonna go get some replicants!

But where does your name fit into all of this? Because that's the idea of a name tag. No, it really doesn't. Like, a minute before I left, I just went... What's your name? Kyle. Kyle. Alright. Put this away. Alright. It's supposed to be a name tag.

Yeah, there's stoners here today that have never listened to the podcast and they're like, what the fuck is that guy doing? We already understand what a name tag is. But Kyle, I love that you're a fan and that you're going to beat Graham's ass right now. Are you ready?

Are you ready to beat his ass? I will sit you down if you don't think you can do it. Because we've got to end this thing. Would you like the Aspirinist P category? Yeah, bust out a heavy category.

This is where I read the entire review and then you guys start bidding. It's crazy. Yeah, or, would you like asparagus peat? He suggested on Twitter by Sardonic Brian.

And asparagus pe Pete is movies... Actors that are in the movie Devil Wears Prada. Because Pete Holmes in the Asparagus Pete category did not recognize that movie. Yeah! Or a very popular category of late, feminist movement, and that's movies with a woman on

a toilet at some point in the film. I'm going to go with Sparrow's Peak. You're going to Sparrow's Peak? Well, this is intense. Okay, Woody Allen. Woody Allen says, says Leonard Walton, four stars. He says it's Woody Allen's best film,

an autobiographical, 1977's the year, autobiographical love story with incisive Allenisms on romance, relationships, fame, New York City versus L.A., and sundry other topics.

I love when Leonard works in the words sundry. Warm, witty, intelligent Oscar winner for Best Picture, Actress, Direction, Screenplay. Look sharp and you'll spot future stars Jeff Goldblum, Shelley Hack, Beverly D'Angelo, and Sigourney Weaver. Yeah. And then he lists ten names.

How many names? You can start at zero. If you want. Kyle. Or you can go into negative names. At which time you will have to name the performers in the order filled by Leonard Malden from the top of the list. Let's go negative one names.

Negative one, he says. Oh, my. I'm giving him the prizes no matter what. We got a merch table here, too, and a Greg Warren show to start. Greg backstage getting ready to go. From his home in Cincinnati. I'm just saying. ready to go from his home in Cincinnati. Alright Cal, name it. I have no fucking idea.

Graham, what do you think it is? Is it New York Stories? Are you kidding? I'm not aware. That's hilarious. It's Annie Hall, dude. Best picture in life. Yeah, aren't you a comedy film nerd?

I thought you knew what it was, but then I thought, why wouldn't you know it's Woody Allen and Diane Keaton, obviously. Yeah, so that was interesting. I didn't want to look at my head, and I couldn't sort it out. All right, well, you know, nonetheless, like I said, I'm giving Kyle the prizes anyway. But the instructions to the game will be in there. So you can, yeah, if you want to learn how it works.

The guy who threw the card, don't pick asparagus, Pete. If you're not familiar with Academy Award winning movies. You know, those rare, bizarre, little...

Thanks, dude. Hi, ladies and gentlemen! We're always at the end of our lives! And I love you! And as always, Greg Warren

not being a headliner tonight at Comedy on State is a shame. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you.

Cause Doug loves movies.