Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood Vs. Nashville

Episode Date: May 26, 2013

Graham plays The Leonard Maltin Game against audience members at Zanie's in Nashville, TN.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Loves Movies! Yesterday I did a stand-up show at Zany's here in Nashville. Great audience turned out, even though it was a beautiful day outside. They all came inside and enjoyed some stand-up comedy and Graham Elwood taking on audience members in the Leonard Maltin game. And I'll play the audio from the end of that show at the end of this shorty. Okie dokie, Dr. Jones. Hang on to your potatoes. Looking forward to today's Douglas Movies taping at Zaney's at 420. My second annual Memorial Day show in Nashville. Two of my guests went to see Fast and Furious 6 last night.

So I look forward to hearing their thoughts about it and about how dumb it is. I assume it might be brilliant. Who knows? If you haven't listened to my podcast over at the Nerdist Network, Dining with Doug and Karen, please check it out. If you like me and my comedy pals and food, you will like it and be asking for seconds. Madison, Wisconsin, Salem, Oregon, Pittsburgh, PA, San Diego, Minneapolis, New York City, I'm coming to all of you, and several other cities this summer, douglasmovies.com for dates and deets and links, and thank you to the troops and their loved ones on this Memorial Day. As always, Dolphin Lundgren is a shithead. Oh yeah, Nashville!

Let's hear it! Yeah! Yeah! I was trying to do an impression of you. Oh. That's not how I sound. I wish. What's the price background?

Oh, a copy of Hot Fuzz. Yeah, Doug digs it. Later this summer, World's End, the trilogy will be completed. A stuffed dog? Yeah, somebody gave me that. I forget in which city.

The guy's like, here, have this. And I was like, no, I'm going to pay that forward. I'm going to make someone else be stuck with that thing. Oh, and then... Oh, that's a great, that's an to pay that forward. I'm going to make someone else be stuck with that thing. Oh, and then... Oh, that's a great... That's an issue of Savage Henry magazine, comic book thing. And I'm on the cover because it's the Harvest issue.

And what else is in there? Smug Life, my CD. Double CD. Is that it? I'll throw a copy in my CD. Grandma's Palmstrike Dance Party. Palmstrike Dance Party. Alright, you guys.

Let's see your name tags. We got the monkey, of course. This guy brought Jurassic Mark. Wow. I like that Jurassic Mark. Fruity Pebbles. You know I enjoy cereal. Fruity Pebbles.

Great deal. From Justin to Kelly. Special Homework Assessment. Matt and Cheese. Ghost Protocol. I don't From Justin to Kelly. Sexual reassessment. Mac and cheese. Ghost protocol. I don't know what that means. The liver ball gave it a bomb, apparently. Steven.

That's what that just says, Steven. Want an old magazine? Want a what? It's an old, dirty magazine. And he's celebrating Sci-Fu Sunday. What a creep. It's an old dirty magazine, and he's celebrating Side Poop Sundays. Wow, what a creep. Yeah, get your side poops out, everybody.

Yeah, the Dodgy Side Poops. Return of the Jedi Lunchbox? Very nice. Who do you want to play against, Graham? This guy's just holding up fruity bubbles. He's going gluten-free on them. Oh, yeah, fruity petals are totally gluten-free. It's natural sugars in there, too.

It's like gluten-free crack. Let's go with... All right, Steven, come on up here with your monkey. Get up here, monkey man. Sucking up the brand with your Paul Strachan shirt. Also, I love the way your phone is on your hip there, because you could possibly put that in a pocket. That's not nerdy at all.

Shove it in your monkey's ass. That is this generation's pocket clip. That's what that is. And so you have a monkey and a Sid Steven on it. What does he love? He's got an I love shirt on. I love you. Oh, why does it say press here? What does he love? He's got an I love shirt on. I love you. Oh, why does it say press here? What does he do? Oh, okay. It's just like a woo-woo piece. He makes that crazy noise.

All right. We're going to play a round of the letter ball game with Steven. If he wins, he takes home everything in the prize bag. And if he loses, if we have time, we'll bring somebody else up on stage. And this is just between Steven and Graham, so if you think you know the answer, don't, please don't yell out. It's not allowed. Steven gets to pick a category.

Would you like In Theaters Now, that's movies that are in theaters now, or Four Weddings and a Funeral, that's movies with Frank Sinatra, because he had four wives and now he's dead. That category never gets picked for some reason. I guess it's probably because he died before most of my guests were born. And then Dolphin Lundgren.

And that is a film with a dolphin, Dolph Lundgren, or a post. I like to play Dolphin Lundgren. Oh, I bet you would. Oh, shit. I bet you would. I bet you're a regular listener to the podcast and you are ready to take Graham down. No one picks Stratford Hatcher.

Yeah. I'm full of shit. I don't know what that's about. One and a half stars from Leonard. One and a half stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie from 1995. He calls it Canadian. He also says it takes place

in the very ugly future. And then he also says that this movie runs about 15 minutes longer in Japan. Which is true of a lot of things. So those clues aren't very healthy, that's the point. And Leonard lists...

Ten names. Yeah, ten names. So the question is, how many names does Steven think it'll take him to name it? He's going with all ten, because he's a smart player. And he knows what he's doing. I'm around Elwood. Elwood. Eight.

Says eight. Seven. Seven for Steven. Oh, buddy. I will go... Should I leave't know about that. I will go with... Should I leave you guys alone for a second? I will go with six. Amen.

All right, let's see what happens. All right, now, even though this category comes up all the time, keep in mind that Graham is a very straight shooter in regards to Leonard Hall game, and would never, like, look up what movie has a Dolph Lundgren or a Dolphin or both. And so he's... I watch a lot of movies. Yeah, yeah. You play fair.

That's what I like about you. There's only two things I like about you. You play fair and you drive the car. Because I will never let you drive the car that I make. Your six names? Five names? Six.

Don Franks, Tracy Tweed, Henry Rollins, Dennis Akiyama, Udo Kier, and Dina Meyer. Those are your six names for this movie that has a dolphin, Dolph Lundgren, or both. And the year is 95. The clues again? The clues are, you're never going to get it, and you're never going to get it.

And vote. You're never going to get it. Yeah. You're never going to get it. And Vogue. I'm never going to get it. Yeah. I'm never going to get it. How about one point? Is that how many minutes you're going to go? 1995. Canadian.

Very ugly future. Runs about 15 minutes longer in Japan. Any idea? Red Sorban. That, of course, has Dolph Lundgren in it. But this movie has Dolph Lundgren

and a dolphin. God damn it! And it's called Johnny Mnemonic. He's so mad at himself. Nice job, Steven. Take the prize back. You get it. You got it, Mopi man. You got it, buddy. I think you just see the last half. Yes.

I thought you saw that movie. You saw that movie. Yes, I did see that movie when it came out in the theaters in 1995. I don't think I saw it. I think I was on the road at some club and went to a fucking Cinemax, met some plants in a building where, goddammit, my voice is cracking. I'm so mad.

You're so pissed right now. Because it has a mechanical dolphin in it, right? And Dolph Lundgren. I don't remember Dolph Lundgren in the movie. I don't remember... He got second billing after Keanu Reeves. So he's definitely in there. Along with Takeshi, Ice-T.

That's when Ice-T had a film career in the 90s, that's right. He could get in some films again. Sure. He's just too busy solving child predator cases. Why would he want to go on location for a film when he could save home and have to... That's what they should do, is they should reboot the whole, you know, what was the name of the guy that would catch child predators on that show? Hanson. Chris Hanson. Hanson, Chris Hanson. They should redo it, but Ice-T walks out.

And he's like, how do you like that cookie? And then you just hear him click the door lock. And he just beats the shit out of that guy. Sean Penn comes in with a fucking pillowcase full of soda cans, bad boy style. He's like, get back! Get back! Graham Elwood, ladies and gentlemen! Graham Elwood! Thank you to all of you

who brought name tags today. And of course, be sure to bring some tomorrow because all three of my guests will be picking somebody to play for and I'll have another bag full of stuff

that people gave me that I don't want. It's very exciting. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. That's very exciting.