Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood Vs. Orlando

Episode Date: January 3, 2013

Graham Elwood attempts to take on the entire crowd at the Orlando Improv in The Leonard Maltin Game. How many will he break?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming maybe sticky seeds with 50 as a pop or a perky Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from a hotel room in Orlando, Florida on Friday, January 4th to Oceans 13. Last night, after a day of fun at Disney World's Animal Kingdom and Disney's Hollywood Studios. Graham Elwood and I did a show at The Improv in Orlando, and I will play the Leonard Maltin game, the very spirited Leonard Maltin game from that show later on in this mini boner ep. Now going back a little bit, since the last time I spoke and you listened, I flew to San Francisco a couple days before my New Year's Eve gig there, planning to enjoy a fun last weekend of Two Oceans 12,

but I came down with a terrible cold. Yeah, and I needed to get better by New Year's 12, but I came down with a terrible cold. Yeah. And I needed to get better by New Year's Eve and, um, and, you know, in time for this trip to Florida. So, uh, cause there's nothing worse than, uh, being sick on a cross country flight. Oh, sure. Now that I think of it, there's lots of things that are worse, but you know what I mean. So I hunkered down in my hotel room in San Francisco, ignored the beautiful city outside, and just stayed in bed. And thanks to the Sundance Channel and Fox Movie Channel and Encore, all being on the cable system of the hotel TV, I watched about seven of my favorite feature films.

People are always asking me all the time, like, you know, recommend a movie. And I'm always like, I don't know, because I don't really have a list or I don't have an all-time favorite, but I have lots of movies that I love, and I would like to share with you now the movies that I watched while recovering. And then I did get well in time for the New Year's Eve show in San Francisco at the Knob Hill Masonic Temple, and I want to thank everyone who came out to that show because it was a great time. Super fun balloon drop at the end, and I hope to see all of you that were there later this month at Sketch Fest

when I do some movie interruptions there. Here they are. Young Frankenstein, what a great movie. Last time I saw it was on the deck of the Weezer Cruise, and I love it every time I see it. And speaking of Gene Wilder, I also saw Silver Streak, which is a, it's not the most fast-paced action comedy, but boy, does it have some great stuff in there. I really enjoyed watching that again. And a shocking scene where Richard Pryor's in it,

and the bad guy in the movie actually calls Richard Pryor the N-word. And then Richard Pryor, of course, repeats it a few times. But I was surprised to see it such a, I believe that movie was like rated PG or something. And fun for the whole family. Say Anything? Gotta love that movie. Is there a more likable character in the history of movies than Lloyd Dobler? Don't even bother to answer that.

I'm not asking. I'm telling. I watched The Verdict, the movie that Paul Newman should have won an Oscar for that was written by David Mamet, but everyone talks more normal. They don't have that fast-paced dialogue, but it's still a fascinating film. A more recent movie called Moneyball. I don't even

like baseball, but for some reason, if Moneyball is on TV, and especially if I'm sick, I'm just going to sit there and wallow in it. National Lampoon's Animal House, which I believe is an almost perfect comedy, and Broadcast News, which is an Almost Perfect Comedy Drama. Yeah, so there's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, seven movies for you to go check out if you haven't seen any of them. I like them all. And I think there's still some seats remaining for Douglas movies at Parlor Live in Bellevue, Washington on Saturday, January 12th at 420. Last I heard, though, it was getting pretty close to sold out. So jump on that. And for now, here is a Leonard Maltin game from Orlando that is not for banophobes.

Let the games begin! Orlando that is not for banophobes. Let the games begin. I'm the illusion to be in a modern modern game. You have my permission to die. Right now we will break you. Oh, God. Defend your city, Orlando. Have Orlando reffered.

Take control, Orlando. Take control. All of Orlando is all good. Let's see those name tags, everybody. We've got a lovely award right up front. We've got a Howard the Duck super high me,

myself, and James. We've made a big build of title. People that don't listen to the podcast are probably kind of confused at this point. But people make very entertaining name tags. Oh, you're pulling out the improv thing. Wow, that's a lot of work.

Oh, yeah. I bet you couldn't list both of our names. Tangle Card. That's smart. Animal Shake. Is your name on there, Ben? That's why they're called name tags. Rambo.

Yeah, we've got Doug Love's Cliffhanger. Is your name Cliff? Yeah. That's how it's done. Robot on a stick. That's exciting. Well, you guys went all out. You fucking had people lighting your shit. You got...

Brianna has a terrier. Yes! It's a favorite movie animal. It's dragging on his breasts. Mike! Dr. Steve Love over there. Armed and dangerous. Armed and dangerous?

Armed and dangerous. Or is it armed and dangerous? Oh. Armidangerous. Armidangerous? Armidangerous. Or is it Armidangerous? Oh, Dan Ucar. Or is your name Russ? Dangerous. Oh, it is Dan. Oh, that's weird.

Is your name Armid? Armid. Armid. Is your name ampersand. I'm on a dumb roll tonight. You are five for five on dumbness. That was my favorite thing when we were walking through Africa, or it might have been Asia today. And a guy walked by with a totally smeared up like cream cheese bagel in Asia.

It looked hilarious to me for some reason. Is that guy got a separate light source for that sign? Because that's amazing if you just have a glowing piece of paper. He's got a buddy with a flashlight. I can't tell what's on it, yeah. All right, Graham, so pick somebody. These are all amazing. Yeah, we got so good. I love the Femme Femme Gita. That's a really cool movie.

I like Posey. Her name's Kelly. The Femme Femme Gita. What's on the award there? Alright, Robot on a Stick. Come on, Robot on a Stick. Take control. Take control. Take control, Pimple. Take control of this game.

I am Orlando's record. This contestant was born in darkness. Climb up out of the well. If you win, it would be thankful for you. Thanks for getting applause that day, Ted. It's, uh...

No, you play with this alone at your home. I don't want to fuck up. Is this a parody of Mystery Science Theater or is this a replica? It's actually for a web show that a friend of mine started up. But it's kind of homage to Mystery Science Theater,

this puppet? It's basically elf with slacker instead of an old Jew and robot instead of an alien. Okay. Fair enough. And then you base it on, this is an elaborate, beautiful puppet, and then you just have a fucking folded over piece of paper with some staples and some piano wire, not piano, fishing wire, and it says, my name is Nick. What's the puppet's name?

Quaid. Quaid, all right. That's the puppet's name? Quaid. Quaid, all right. That's what we're going to call you. Is that from, um, where did you get that? Is that from, uh... Just a name. From the thing? Just qualified.

All right, Quaid. He just liked the name Quaid. He just looks like a Quaid. There was a McQuaid movie with, uh, what's his name? Chuck Norris. He's a big fan of Dennis Quaid. Dennis Quaid. Old Star McQuaid, is that what he's called? Chuck Norris. He's a big fan of Dennis Quaid. Dennis Quaid. Bone Star McQuaid.

Is that what he's called? Bone Star McQuaid. One Gallon McQuaid. That was in a SportsCenter character's name in the first... The Recall. Did they rename him when Colin Farrell played him? Yeah, it was Johnny Hotball.

Next question. See, Graham does this. If you don't listen to the podcast, he pretends to know the answer and just says it like it's a fact and just hopes no one will... Oh, you sell anything. We'll talk about it.

Actually, the term robot was brought by the Dutch. It was brought in 1645 by a Dutch robot salesman. And that's correct. Go to gregmiller.com and get all your information on that. Anyway, how do you feel?

I can't tell you how many times today he tried to, like, he'd hand the girl at the beginning of the ride a piece of paper, and she'd go, this is a coupon for donuts. And he'd go,

no, that's a fast track. Fast track. But you just walked by. Yeah, and he'd call it fast track. He's such a fucking idiot. Fast track. Fast track. But you just walked by. Yeah, I didn't call it fast track. It's such a fucking idiot. Fast track. Fast track. And then smile, and look back at it. That's how you walk into any building, is the person that's trying to stop you, you

pretend like you know somebody else there. You just go, no, no, I'm supposed to... Hey, you know, thanks for coming. You're ready. You're ready. You know that robot? I know that robot, yeah. What's his name?

Quang. How are you? Oh, wow. You're in. You're in. You know that robot? I know that robot, yeah. What's his name? Quain. Oh, wow. Sounds like you have Quain's awareness. All right. I don't want to break you. Get ready to be broken, Will.

What's your name? Nick. I'm just guessing that we're going to have to bring up another contestant. And I'm hoping it's Will. Yeah, I hope Will.am is here. Because then he'll take the action. Or whatever he says in that horrible new song. It's Britney, bitch.

Okay, I don't know who you're talking to. I'm trying to listen to some pop music. I don't need to be spoken to that way. But, Brittany, settle down. You get to pick a category. This is the Leonard Maltin game. For those of you unfamiliar and those who are, this is just between Nick and Graham.

Don't yell out any answers if you think you know it. And, Nick, is it okay if I record this for the podcast? Alright, yes. You get to pick the category. Any Canadian suggested on Twitter that I do a category, Django All The Way. And it sounds like a Christmas category, but in fact

it is movies where Jamie Foxx has sex. Boom, boom. Yeah, yeah. A little twisteroony on that one also based off of a Christmas movie title I am the walrus suggested on twitter this is a 40 this is a 40

and that's movies with either old or English in the title this is a 40 and at at Larry Blah suggested B-L-A-W suggested you have my

permission to pie that's films where actors have to gain some weight to start a revolution the actor can't be a deception or tools for the unexpected to start a revolution. The actual catheter and deception are tools of the uninitiated.

But why are we initiated? The actual catheter and deception are tools of the uninitiated. But you? You and I are initiated, Bruce. I'm uninitiated. Bruce? Okay. Spoiler. Spoiler alert. No, just spoiler. Spoiler alert.

No, just spoiler. I don't care if anybody noticed. Alright, which one of those categories would you like to play? You have my permission to play. Alright. Do you feel in control? Fucking greatest. He just wrestles that guy. He's like, I'm ready to go. He just puts his hand on his shoulder. Do you feel in control? He fucking snaps fucking greatest. He just wrestles that guy. He goes, I'm ready to go. He just puts his hand on his shoulder. It's so lovely. Do you feel it?

He fucking snaps his neck. That's going to happen to you. I'm going to kill you tonight. All right. I'm just going to go, you have lost. And just fucking snap his neck, hang still, and just walk over. Do you fear that I will kill you or make love to you? In which order would you prefer? It's time for me to go back into the shadows.

All right. One too many. Here we go. Hey there, kick-ass and true girl. I'm out of ass. Could you please give me some gas? Do you have any juicy fruit? Okay, this movie where someone had to gain weight for the role.

I'm trying to drive you to the store. And for all the... Bane in every classic movie. All the prizes. Frankly, scholar, my dear, I will break you. Guys, there's a twist on it. That's what Bane does.

I learned that in Prague, 1648. Look it up. Sorry. I think we're going to need a bigger Batman. All right. I think we're going to need a bigger Batman alright that's a nice put a good twist on that one four stars from Leonard for this movie where

an actor had to gain weight for a role it's from 1980 and Leonard called it extraordinarily compelling, and he also said that the editor of this movie won an Academy Award. See, the clues aren't very helpful. And then I say how many actors Leonard lists on his movie review app that were featured in this film. Turns out it's seven. So now you guys bid on how many names you think it'll take you to figure out a name

that movie. Let's start off with seven. Seven. He says seven. 1980. This is the year. Yeah, he bid seven names. Yes, seven names he says. Is zero a number that I'm going to bid?

Yes! Very aggressive, screaming in the face of a nice young lady. Thanks for coming to our show! Oh, that is very, very hostile. You look lovely this evening! I'm pleasant. The squatting is bad. Everything about this is horrible.

There's nothing good about this. That's how I do crowd work. Where do you work? She just jumped back like an Asian lady on a tram with a kid calling her. Call back! Right now, turn around! What are you going to do with that, Nick? Can you go into negative names? I don't think so. Name that movie.

Is it with Robert De Niro and his abridging bull? First of all, just answer the question as asked. You don't have to throw in any show-offy, everyone fucking knows who is enraging bull. But that is correct. Baboom! People playing Rob Iron is dead. And you have a bunch of other shitheads on your say at the end. Alright, that's his consolation prize, and I will call anyone he wants a shithead. Give Nick a big round of applause. Alright, Graham, we've got to pick another contestant. Get out of here.

Get her out of here and pick somebody new. Alright, let's go with... The gentleman wrote his name on a comic card. The femme, Kim can't let that. She let that. Yeah, she's got that Douglas Williams t-shirt on, so I totally support that decision. Give her a big round of applause, ladies and gentlemen. How do you do, sweetie?

Just hang out over there with Graham and tell us your name and a little bit about yourself. Kelly. Great story. I thought you'd show up. Where are you from? Kelly. Where'd you go to high school? Kelly. Do you have a dog named Quaid? No, I don't. Because that would be crazy. She's got a robot on a stick. Coincidence. And it's name is Graham. Oh, shit! Let's do it.

All right, so she's got the LeFemme Nikita poster that she changed to her name, which is Kelly. And put her face on there? I love it. Very well done. A new kind of lethal weapon. One word answer, Kelly. Doug Diggs that movie.

I didn't like the remake with Bridget Fonda. That was that remake. So dumb. Point of no return. Why would you call it, why not call it long ass bullshit? Point of no return. You buy the ticket. Sorry, you're at the point of no return. Yeah, it's so

dumb. And they're like, you know they went, we need to Americanize this movie. This is like the most American fucking French action movie that's ever been made. God damn, they're dumb. Which one would you like? Jamie Foxx Has Sex or the other one I mentioned earlier, the

Old or English? Old or English. Old or English in the title, ladies and gentlemen. Old or English in the title. This is from 1995. Leonard Morrow gives it two and a half stars. He says about this movie that it has attractive

physical trappings and an agreeable cast. And he lists eight names. How many names do you think you can get it in? This movie with all drink lists. You go first, Kelly.

Seven. Seven's a smart opening pitch knocked one off grab those for the standard uh knocking off of two six yeah oh shit i saw your eyes i gave myself an extra name are you having fun tonight? All right, please stop squatting and yelling. I'm sorry. I'm doing crowd work.

People like that. Every time I do this crowd work, why can't I? How many names do you get? Six. Six. Six out of eight. All right, I'm going to predict right now that we're going to have a winner. Tom!

I mean, we have a winner every round. It's just not going to be Graham. Oh, shit. Hugh Vaughn was in this movie. Tudor Vaughn was in this movie. The Vaughn Brothers. Kenneth Griffith. Ian Hart.

Ian McNeese. Nacy. and McNeese. Neesee. And Cole McMeany. Oh, McMeany. Not a real name. It's got older English in the title

and you don't know it. That's 1995. That's the other clue is you're not going to get it. Okay, give me more clues. 95. And like I said, it's got an agreeable cast and attractive physical trappings. It's got older English from 95. Can you think of a movie that has older English in the title? Because she cleverly picked the category. It's a smart move. Tough category. Stuck me

with it. Yeah. Interesting altar boy. Anything else you got going on there? How about altar boy would be, oh, father's day. That's what they do. Why did you, I thought that was close enough because you had because it looked like you had a dick in your face. No, I was praying. Hold on. Hold on!

Your time is up! The English patient. Oh, that has English in it. I knew this was going to be a tough one and I'm glad that you picked it, Kelly, because I want a winner and I want it now. And the answer is the movie also starred Tara Fitzgerald and Hugh Grant. And it's called The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain.

You did it, Kelly! You're a winner! I'm going to take one pretty much. There you go. Yeah, we'll see you outside. Thank you for coming. I got you one. Thank you. Yeah, not some asshole walking with a robot with a piece of paper on it. I just walked around with it all the time. The winner went to someone who has skills with Photoshop. Thank you, Robot on a Stick.

And thank you once again to Graham Elwood, everybody. What if he was in Wizard of Oz? Follow whatever world you choose. But choose wisely.

Thank you, Orlando Improv. This has been a really fun night. And for the end of the podcasting portion of this show, I'd just like to say, Johnny Depp as Tonto is a shithead. Now it's time for Gun to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. Jeff has Tonto as his shithead.