Doug Loves Movies - Graham Elwood Vs. Six Finger Tym

Episode Date: May 13, 2013

From Comedy Works in the State of Denver on Mother's Day, Graham Elwood takes on a truly unique audience contestant.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug's Love Movies! 420 matinee at Comedy Works in the city of Colorado? Yeah, you heard right. It was so much fun. I want to come back and do it every year if the nice folks at Comedy Works will let me. Have to have that conversation with them. There weren't a lot of name tags in the crowd, but boy, they sure did make up for it with insane enthusiasm, and we ended up with perhaps the greatest audience contestant of all time. The less than perfect audio from that show lasts about 20 minutes, so I won't rattle off a lot of plugs before getting to it. I'll just say that I'm at the Fett Ballroom in Providence this Saturday, May 18th,

and that all of my dates are listed at DouglasMovies.com. Now take a big bong rip, or just sit there, and enjoy this madness from the state of Denver. Yeah! Alright, Denver, Mother's Day! Yeah! TJ Miller's mother, yeah! Yeah! Pete Holden's mother, yeah! Yeah! TJ Miller's mother, yeah! Yeah! Pete Holden's mother, yeah! Yeah! But I was Denver.

Let's go back and forth, Bram. Classic lines from movies, but that's Bane. Bane's got the classic lines from the movie, and then the other guy has to name what the movie is. I said, Gorgon,'re gonna take the second book. And that's definitely Orca. Frankly, Scotland, I don't give a damn. That's, um... I think you guys would have gone with the wind, you fucking jackass.

What are you fucking doing? I know you're training with joke answer, and you had nothing. You could say any other movie, and it probably would have been funny. If you had just gone Demolition Man, that would have been funny. I was trying to think of the Juliette Lewis, Giovanni Ribisi movie, That would have been funny. If you had just gone, demolition man, that would have been funny. I was trying to think of Juliette Lewis, Giovanna Ribisi, one of the most special needs people that fall in love. Who only you could have thought of, the other sister. Let's look at what's in the prize bag.

Let's look at what's in the prize bag. We should have wrapped things up one more time, right? And we'll describe them for everybody. Look at that. Smug life. Double CD. Double CD. In the wrap section. This gift is the best one. A plate of cookies. A hotel brought me a plate of cookies. The hotel brought me a plate of cookies, and I was like, who are you trying to, Santa? I came into his room and there's plenty of cookies in a glass of milk. I'm like, dude, where's the carrot for Rudolph? I'm sure my hotel won't miss that plate.

I got so many, I can't go that plate. I have so many. Yeah, don't they have a few? It's alright. The Don't Hold Smoovies T-shirt! You can all go to Don'tHoldSmoovies.com, right? This last thing's a good thing. This is probably one of the better prices I've ever given out. Oh my god. It's a tiny, absolute vodka bottle.

That starred in the Vine that I made called Quick Impression Denzel Washington. Remember in flight? There's a sea witch just sitting on top of the minibar. It's like 30 seconds. It's like forever. I'll close the moment. Well, what's the alky gonna do?

Then his hand just comes in and grabs him. Like King Kong grabbing a biplane. Was that racist? I'll throw in a copy of my CD, Granolz, Pulp Strike Dance Party. Pulp Strike Dance Party! What kind of name tags do we have here tonight? We have name tags, we have name tags. We have a lot of scorners who need name tags. I have the Denver's Perfected name, nice. I think that's it.

I'm never perfected, Abe. Nice. Nice. He's got a complicated sign over there. What does that say? Our partner is Jerry. I've got a heart that grinds gluten-free cookies. That's how it's the thought that counts. Actually, oh, oh, oh, wait, wait.

Now we need to disband. Right. I'm on namescare, I'll read. I'm hiding, ransom free cookies. She's hitting out name tags. She's returning people's bills. This guy wants to use his credit card as a name tag. Yeah, yeah, let me run that shit

so you can fucking qualify. Well, I'm kind of impressed that we packed the place with people who are indifferent to this aspect of the show. No! No! No, I know some of you made name tags, but I'm just saying that, like,

the last time we were here, there were a lot more. But people here are just like, I don't need to be in a bag full of crap. That guy right there, he's just like, I'm going to wear the baggy shorts I own and give those guys a nut festival. Why is she right here? I'm a virtual star. We love to fly, AirTrode. Okay, we gotta do this. We gotta do this.

Focus, focus. I love Planet of the Apes. Okay, okay, okay. You gotta Planet of the Apes thing up here, dude. Come on up here, dude. Come on up on stage, man. We have short-throat Paul Drucker here. Let's show all the textiles. Babe.

I'm very good at this. It's a collective edition. It's awesome. Here, let him talk to the mic. It's the original movie. Get the fuck out of here. It's a good show, and it's part two as well. No, no, I think Graham would like you to leave.

That's awesome, dude. And your name is... Six Finger Tim? Oh, shit! What the hell? Are you kidding me? I'm gonna bomb it. That is sick!

We were thinking of some crazy story. Nope! I'm sick! We were in the ether, some crazy story. Nope! Disgusting! I'm six-finger Tim. Oh, did you steal a lot of your cake? No, no, I'm in six-finger. Your girl grandma's calling you! Why do I need your life?

Yeah. What's that expression? Why do I need to like, yeah. What's that, extra pig in the snake? It's Mother's Day, come on. Come on, you guys, it's just for Mother's Day. Normally I wouldn't say such a thing. Oh, his mom's here.

Oh, there you go. Bless you. Thank you all for coming out. Bless you. Thank you for coming out. Wow, so I guess you all can start therapy in a few days? So when you're in a fight or something, you're like, Bitch, you're gonna need to get the six pack. So you just poke me out. I didn't see that sixth one coming. I thought I was in the clear and then doink.

Rebecca, you made an amazing name tag, but you only got ten fingers. This is an X-Men episode. Get the hell out of here with your ten fingers. You know how I mean to? We're not regular humans, man. Which hand is it? Both, motherfucker! You fucking fucker! That's fucking awesome! Man! Do you slip in a handshake on people just to freak them out?

Or do you let them see you do jazz hands first? Let them know what you're in for. Don't let't know what you're in for. Ah, nice! He hides it! He fucking palms it like he's a goddamn Gricker. It does not surprise me that this is the show that's gonna be fucking 12 fingers. I was just gonna say, why is it you're getting 12 fingers? Why is it six fingers? That's why I thought it was just one hand. It was surprising.

You're like, oh, six fingers. And it's, ah! Yeah! Daily double. Daily double. Daily double. Yeah! Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double.

Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double.

Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double.

Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Daily Double. Alright, so the film, the category is Freddy Got Six Fingered. Starring our friend Tom Green. Uh, Professor Rex. Let's start guessing, yeah. I mean, you do know how to play the game, right?

Absolutely. Okay, he knows how to play. He can count as someone. This isn't... I hope the movie you pick has 12 names so you can know it. I can name it and it's the wrong name. Let me just recap, and this isn't home. There's a gentleman on stage who has six fingers on each hand. I call it more like four fingers and two thumbs on each hand. But it's impressive.

Oh, you're gonna get a picture of it? Yeah, yeah. I don't know if it fits or not. That's the shit that's around. That's new level game science. The baddest game in the land has never shipped once. No way. No way is this happening. I wish I'd smoked more weed before I took this nap. I thought I was having a fucked up dream. Okay, you get to pick a category,

six finger. Which one would you like, SF? Would you like the Werner Herzog category? Which is films that have a colon in them. My man, bass man, suggested Baby Got Back. That's movies where a missing baby gets returned. And Stevens suggested The Men Who Stare at Floats.

And it's movies that have a parade in them. I'm going to work with Horvath. Okay. This movie has a colon in the title. Two stars from Leonard. Listeners to the show might recognize some of these clues because this movie actually came up recently in a different category.

Yes, that's a clue. Graham, of course, doesn't listen, so... I don't blame him. We don't listen to each other's podcasts. We're too busy living, then. Leonard says about this movie that it's elaborately produced and well-directed, but it's just another connect the dots action thriller that has a colon in the title

from 1995 and Leonard lists 12 names He should put his hand on your shoulder and say, do you feel in control? Are you in normal five-figure control? Oh! Is that your mother? How's she doing?

Is she doing all right? She's probably very traumatic. Is she mid-12th? A bit of 11th. Oh, shit. That was bald. So old. So old. I hold the gates down to one. I did one word finger.

Um, can you do limb long and Frost over down on that end? Lin Long and Frost first, but down on that end. That's the name of your album, right? Lin Long and Frost first? This is my album. This is my new album. It's going to go as well as ever. I thought it was a tire after this show. The four take team on the road with it. I don't know, it's just me I'm like, show me these guys with my weird hands, and...

...someway I've got a career. We've got one minute. I'll do, uh, seven names. It's kind of, uh, it's not exciting. Yeah, look at you with your stupid normal hands. He's going six. I don't know why he used two hands to do it. You know, these are moves. No, I saw it, Graham. I was... making a joke from the list mix.

Who still don't believe that this is real. I'm gonna tweet that photo so we have evidence. I will retweet that. Not sure which finger I'm gonna use to do it. I am so few as you, Spro! Oh shit, oh shit, the altitude, the altitude! You're not allowed to have this much fun in this altitude. Fucking pass the fuck out.

Just breathe, moms, just breathe. We got a lot of moms here today. I'll go fire. He says fine. He says fine. What weird configuration are we in store for now? Porn-8s. And are we in store for now? Four names. Four names.

And he's also okay with it. Oh. He wins no matter what. I don't know why this is taking so long. I would say you didn't actually get it. Okay, alright. What are the clues again? The clues are that you're probably not going to get it. But that you're the best contestant we've ever had.

You don't normally get to make fun of this sort of thing right to the person's face. I usually try to do it in a more polite way. Your bee joke killed with me earlier. That's going to be on my new album, Gateway to Un, available soon on iTunes. It's 1995. Leonard gave it two stars. He says that it's elaborately produced and well-directed, but it's just

another connect-the-dots action thriller. And it's got a colon in the title, and your four names are Fifi, which might be like a dog that was in the movie, Kurtwood Smith, who's a genuine grown man, Royce D. Applegate, and Nick Mancuso.

So it's really going to come down to, you just had a strong hunch. The snakes are nothing. You just had a colon. Yeah, just to move over the colon in the title. So that implies it was a sequel. What do you think? Having won anyway.

You won hands down! The six fingers of fate have already been cut off. This guy's singing a lot of shirts. What's that? You got nothing? Nothing. Alright, what if I told you that it starred Steven Seagal? And that it was the sequel to Under Siege, then what would you say? It's still not easy! It's still not easy. It's still not easy.

It's still not a game. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it, dude. Don't say it. Under Siege 2, Electric Boogaloo? That is correct. That is correct.

Shake my hand. Let me feel it. Oh, that's weird. That's so weird. Oh, that's weird! That's so weird! Oh! Oh! Oh! Thank you, Tim. Enjoy your prize bag. Thank you for coming. Thank you.

Thank you for bringing your mother. Thank you, Mom. Thank you, Kim's mom. Thank you all for mom. She had like four seed fingers. Like, oh, it's the rum to the litter. No, you did not. Grab help with everything.

Yeah, we played that movie at two different, like a show just a few days ago. So that's fun. It came up in two different categories. Colorado. What's that? Colorado. What's? Something about Colorado? Colorado. What's that? I'm in Colorado. What's something about Colorado?

Colorado. Oh, I think, are you saying the movie was shot in Colorado? Yes, sir. I think it might have been. I think you're right, lady, that I want to shut up. You're a nice, smart lady. Now zip it. And as always, being mean to people on Mother's Day is a shame. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.

Eyes of Gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you cause Doug loves movies.