Doug Loves Movies - Greg Proops, Moshe Kasher, and John Caparulo Guest

Episode Date: October 16, 2013

Doug welcomes comedians Greg Proops, Moshe Kasher, and John Caparulo to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby stickies He's with 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug loves movies Hey, everybody. Yeah, I'm going to hotbox your asses. My name is Doug, and I love movies. Yes, I love movies. Coming to you from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater

in Los Angeles on Tuesday, October 15th, 2 Oceans 13. There's a few tickets. Somebody laughed at that? It's October 15th and that's still a giggler? There's a few tickets left for Monday night's Douglas Movies slash Cheap Thrills LA Combo at CineFamily. Go to cinefamily.org for tickets if you want to see the cast of Cheap Thrills compete in the Leonard Maltin game

before they compete in a series of disgusting dares in the movie. It's a hilarious and disturbing movie and it should be a really fun night. And there's a few tickets left. It's funny how many different responses I got to last week's question during the show, who does Roy Abramson sound like? Like, it's so weird to go, who does that guy sound like? And then to have such diverse opinions of who he sounds like.

On Twitter, people have told me he sounds like Paul F. Tompkins, Bob Odenkirk, Todd Berry. Now, all three of those guys, those are people I know talk too frequently. I think I would be like, you sound like that F. Tompkins, Bob Odenkirk, Todd Berry. Now, all three of those guys, those are people I know talk to frequently. I think I would be like, you sound like that person if it was one of them, but it's not. Adam McKay, I don't talk to ever. Does he sound like Adam McKay? Will Arnett, I've seen that guy around.

John Hodgman, he's been on the show. He seems a little more nasally than Roy Abramson. Albert Brooks, who, like, nobody sounds like Albert Brooks. That's just bizarre. John Hamm, you know I know him. And Jeff Garlin. So, yeah. Michael Moore.

Michael Moore? That guy didn't say my D-ad once. So, here's the thing. I'm going to tell you who I think it actually sounded like, because I think I've narrowed it down to one or two people. I'm going to tell you what I think it sounded like on the next Doug Loves Minis coming out in a couple days, so check it out over there.

Tomorrow night, tonight, if you're listening to this when it comes out on October 16th, you missed it if you're listening to this when it comes out on October 16th you missed it if you're listening on October 17th or after but I'm doing a stand up show in Ontario, California at the Improv, I'm calling it Hash Wednesday and I

want to see you there Inland Hempire like ticket sales haven't been that great I was there like 3 or four months ago. You guys seem really excited. I thought, oh, I could come back again soon. Maybe it's too soon. On a couple of recent podcasts,

I've joked about doing a sixth podcast called Doug Love Sleeping. And thanks to at Bass Playing Fool, or Bass Playing, if he's holding a fish, we have a theme song already. So if we could listen to that, Ryan, I'd appreciate it. Dog hates lumpy pillows, ratty blankets, dirty sheets With hotel blackout curtains That do not quite reach If you go up there

That's where he'll be Because Doug loves sleeping Pretty sweet. I really seriously, Ryan, we might want to just start it. Create a logo, make one episode, and it's like 30 minutes of silence. Maybe an occasional... I mean, I snore quite a bit in real life, but I don't want you guys to be subjected to my actual snoring.

Nor do I want Ryan to come to my home. Could you post an eight hour long... Eight hours? Who am I kidding? I sleep for like five hours. But like, could you post five hours of silence on iTunes and they would let that happen? From the corrections department, The Conjuring is rated R, not PG-13.

I've been constantly calling it a PG-13 horror movie because I don't know why it would get an R rating. Does somebody say fuck when they see a ghost? Does anything violent happen in that movie? I've seen it one and a half times and I have no idea why they think it's an R.

Because it's not scary to me. It's not Scary Farm to me. San Francisco. You can't say it's not scary Farm to me. San Francisco. You can't say it's not scary and not think of not Scary Farm. San Francisco, the Punchline Comedy Club, Saturday, October 26th, Sunday, October 27th. Stand-up Saturday, Douglas Movie Sunday,

both shows at 420 with different special guests each day. Oh, and one more thing for you Los Angeles two more things for you Los Angeles Monday October 28th I'm doing events and interruption at Meltdown Comics douglovesmovies.com for dates and deets and links of all of my stuff and then also

on Monday Chris Hardwick has a new show on Comedy Central called At Midnight and the guests on the first episode it's like, I think from all the episodes I've seen, they're just booking my people. My people. You know, they're booking all the LA Podcast

guests, because it's going to be, the first night's going to be me and Kumail and Natasha Leggero, and then every night that week, I was looking at it going, oh, these are all the same people that are on my show, which is going to, I think, make for a very fun program. So it's

called At Midnight, because it's at midnight, and it starts on Monday, and I'm on the first episode. Let's look in the prize bag really quick. I've talked for longer than usual tonight, and I want to get these guests out here, but we've got some items from them. We've got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt, and we've got some items from them. We've got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt

and we've got, of course, until I run out of them, a squishy ball from Kenny Powers. It says, I retired my glove, not my balls. And if you guys aren't watching it, I'm three episodes in. I guess it's three episodes in and it is funnier than ever.

I fucking love Eastbound and Down. Also, you get an eastbound and down lighter and I got this from my hotel minibar when I was at the Benson Ball. It's a Hulk Pez dispenser. I ate this Pez, not out of, I didn't eat it out of his neck like you're supposed to.

I just ate him straight out of the pack. Late night snack, straight out of the pack. So there he is. I'm just saying my lips haven't been on him. And a copy of Gateway Doug. And I'm very excited that next year my next album is going to be called Gateway Doug 2, colon, Forced Fun.

Because Mark Maron suggested it. I haven't run that by you, Ryan, yet, but that's what I want to call it. Please welcome to the stage, if you're a regular viewer of Chelsea Lately, you know all three of these dudes, Greg Proops, Moshe Kasher, and John Caparulo. applause applause

applause applause applause Hello. Hey. John Caparulo, first time guest everybody. Let's hear it for him. applause

You brought a signed CD for me. And yeah, just pick up your microphone and use that. Yes. I started talking and I'm like, it's probably not going to pick that shit up. Did you sign this? On the inside. CD and DVD.

Oh, okay. So you signed it deep inside. Alright. Very cool. Thanks for being on the show. This is one of those, I've known you and seen you around for a long time but we don't have each other's number and what not

so like I tracked you down through Twitter and then I guess your wife yes your wife she's in charge

of your Twitter I found out because I had some nice correspondence with her on there a lot of people do and they they think it's me.

I know. It's kind of embarrassing when people watch me at shows. Like, oh, you faved my tweet today. I'm like, I did? That's weird, John. It's too much typing. Your wife is actually in charge

of my Twitter as well, which is weird. Oh, geez. She gets around on Twitter. Only on Twitter. That's Moshe Kasher, everybody. Hi, everybody. on Twitter. Only on Twitter.

That's Moshe Kasher, everybody. Hi, everybody. You've got a... You brought a copy. What's the name of your compact disc, John? But I forgot to say the name of his. Sorry. I didn't mean to steal your thunder. This is my thunder.

There was some serious thunder going on. What's it called? Come Inside Me. Maybe that's why I didn't say it. Maybe I was like, I should just put this in the bag. I'm thinking I should have put in parentheses, it's a long story. But yeah, it's a long story. All right, well listen to Come Inside Me to find out why it's called Come Inside Me.

I'm pretty sure I know why Moshe called his album Everyone You Know Is Going to Die and then you are. Asterisk. Because, asterisk, unless you die first. Thank you. That makes sense that you'd call it that. You don't need to explain it

because you're a ray of sunshine. Yeah, yeah. And on the cover, you have a ray of sunshine. Yeah, yeah. And on the cover, you have a multicolored lollipop. That's actually one of the very few of those CDs that's left in the world. We're out of them. They're out of print. So this is a real special night for some lucky lady. Collector's item.

Yeah, indeed. I'm calling it, a lady's going to win tonight. I'm just going to hang on to it then. You're that lucky lady, Doug. Luck be a lady. Greg Proops is here, you guys. Hello, everybody. Hello, Doug Loves Movie

people. You brought a nice promotional card, if you will, that says that Greg Proops is the smartest man in the world. That's a reference to your podcast that you've recorded live

in Paris, London, Melbourne, Munich. Everybody talk about pop music. You've, uh... Uh-huh. Proop music. Talk about it.

It's a Proopcast. Wait, you're allowed to put advertisements for your own stuff in the gift bag? I did. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, you brought this. This is Hollywood your own stuff in the gift bag? I did. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, he brought this.

This is Hollywood, sweetie. We're all whores here. Let's get it on. He had this special card made, so, you know, in case people can't figure out from his CD that he brought that, you know, he's also got other stuff going on, we'll put that in the bag. But this is your CD, Proops Digs In. Yeah, that's from a couple years ago.

I have a new special coming out on chill.com that you can get. I shot it at Musso and Frank's over on Hollywood Boulevard, if anyone's ever been there. Yeah, in the back of a restaurant is where I shot my comedy special so that it wouldn't be like other comedy specials that are shot in a theater with a bunch of oblique shit on stage that no one knows why it's there. Instead, I had waiters in gold jackets

and shit, so it was nice. And if I used the word shit more in this sentence, I'd get a prize. I did mine in a theater, and now I feel like a dick. Well, I didn't want to be a dick like John, so I thought I'd do mine in a restaurant. I should have found the back of a pizza place

or something. Roddick, your pizza's ready. Roddick, party of four, your pizza's ready. I'm going to record an album from the ball pool at Chuck E. Cheese. I'm just going to stand in the middle of it with my iPhone on record and see what happens.

It's called Doug Loves Children. Doug loves fecal remnants on the balls in the castle is what Doug loves. Those only bother you if you lick them. It's only gross if you lick it. Sidebar question for Greg Proops because you're going to be

a guest very soon on Getting Doug With High. I think you're going to be a champ on there. I've heard you use the word spliff, or your fun way of pronouncing it, spleef, sometimes for many years, since maybe when we first

worked together and you first turned me on to the miracle drug. Recently someone said that a spliff means that it's got tobacco in it. Well, often it does, but I don't feel bound by society's petty bourgeois conventions. I did my special in the back of a restaurant, man. That's right. I'm a rebel, and I've never been any good.

You know what? Fuck the man, right? Like, the man doesn't define what a spleef is to me. That's why you pronounce it spleef. That's the way the man pronounces it. Don't bow down to the moors of the pot community. Exactly, bro. Well, because the pot community has some fucking moors. The first week on the show,

we start at 4.15 Pacific time, and by 4.20 I want a bowl loaded, and I want us to be smoking at 4.20. So Jenny Slate was the guest. She's a very sweet lady. She's sitting there. I'm like, which one do you want to smoke from? She's like, I don't know.

And I'm like, we've got to hurry. We've got to do this. So I loaded up a bowl, took a hit really fast to make sure we were in the 4.20 window, then passed it to her. Got so much shit for not giving the lady the green hit. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like so much.

I don't want to dwell on it on Doug Love's movies. I would disagree. I would say that your politesse was in complete form because you want to light it first and hand it to her smoking. You don't want her to have to light it and have to deal with the butane. That was the idea, right?

That's real. No one wants a butane hit. Butane hits are the scourge of this community. Scourge. Women cannot handle the mechanics of a butane lighter. Am I right? You've got to be careful with them delicate flowers.

I was more concerned about the inhalation. But yes, you're right. In a way, women are fumbly, aren't they? Yeah. but yes, you're right. In a way, women are fumbly, aren't they? Yeah, well, thank you, Greg, for having my back on that. I mean, my feeling is you shouldn't be too concerned one way or the other. We both got really high, and, you know, it was fine. Like, you know, if the person you're passing it to

goes, hey, what, no green hit? I'll fucking finish the bowl and then reload it and give you your goddamn green hit. The only hit you don't want is the dead hit at the end. Yeah. There's like tons of hits. I'll take that one, though, because it's a challenge. That is.

Can I get something out of this? Yeah, yeah. I'll show you. Yeah, no, watch me create. I'm an alchemist. I'll take ashes and make dope out of it. Watch me turn this fucking black ass charred briquette into a nug. You know, on that show, we should just talk about movies.

This is one show where it's too bad that the podcast listener can't see the audience. Because when Greg said, well, the one hit you don't want is the dead hit, like 70% of the audience nodded demonstrably. Yes, indeed. That's right. Now, John, you're something of a movie buff as I understand it. Yeah, I don't have much of a life other than that. I mean, I really don't.

You're on the road. You go see matinees all the time. I mean, I really... You're on the road, you go see matinees all the time? Yeah, I mean, I just... My wife, I just stumbled across her. So, I mean, like, I really... I really, I'm not the type of guy who would lend himself to social situations.

So, yeah, I just watch a lot of movies in my hotel room. Oh, you go pay-per-view in the room? I do. Well, we go to... Now that I have a woman... Because it's kind of weird going to a movie by yourself. Like, you go pay-per-view in the room? Well, we go to... Now that I have a woman... Because it's kind of weird going to a movie by yourself, like, hi, everybody.

Especially if it's like Harry Potter or something, then you feel super creepy. Or Spring Breakers. Yeah. And waving to all the strangers probably isn't necessary. I got some mints. Some mints?

Junior mints. I got some mints, Junior. Hey, Junior, who likes mints? These are flavored with awesome Ambien. That's track four on Doug Loves Children. I got some mints, comma, Junior. Doug Loves Children, until they catch him. I got some mints, comma, junior Doug loves children until they catch him

I heard a rumor, John that you have cable and that you also have backup cable in case primary cable goes dead, is that true? I have cable and satellite Yeah, just in case Yeah, cause I mean

they ain't both gonna fuck up at the same time. Storms are so selective when it comes to technology. Lightning can't hit both. Lightning's not going to hit a dish outside your house and Time Warner. Right, right, exactly.

And then I got a generator that'll give me three hours in case the power doesn't work. You live like the Omega Man. Yeah, yeah. You don't have two refrigerators in a freezer full of meat, do you? No, it's just for television.

You gotta put eggs for toilet papers. It reminded me, when I heard that, of the way I grew up. My mother is deaf, and she would watch, she would have four televisions in her room on simultaneously

of varying sizes because she didn't have audio distractions so she would be like watching them like Tom Cruise in Minority Report. Until she would finally like pass out. By the way, we're on welfare. Growing up on welfare, we had four televisions.

And she would pass out from all of the reading, I guess. And then I would come in and I would gently turn off one of the TVs and my mom would immediately and instantly wake up and say, turn the TV back on. And I would. And she would get back to walking. That's how non-deaf people are with turning off a TV

when they fall asleep. There were three others playing. There were three more of them playing. I always noticed that, yeah, it was like, I had friends who were really poor,

but they still had, like, good TV. Like, they had better TV than I did. It's like, you don't have milk,

but you have Cinemax. That's phenomenal. That is sweet. Cinemax is milk to some people. Man does not live by stars alone. If cable be the music of life, play on.

We're already running late, but I'd just like to ask everybody on the panel, what have you seen lately? Have you been to the movies lately, John? Well, you know what? Last one I saw, because I've been on the road for a little bit, last one actually I saw at the movies was,

not Gravity, I want to see Gravity, Blue Jasmine was the last one I saw. Oh,'ve been on a road for a little bit, last one actually I saw at the movies was was Grav, or not Gravity, I wanted to see Gravity, Blue Jasmine was the last one I saw. Oh, okay. Hard to confuse with Gravity. Yeah, I would have refused. Practically the same picture. Yeah, both feature a lady that's hyperventilating the whole time.

How is Bobby Carnivali in Gravity? What's that? Never mind. He's great. Everybody's great. The acting's so good in Blue Jasmine. It's not particularly funny, but it's well done. Yeah, I like movies that are, I mean, like, instead of just laugh out loud,

like, I can just, just honest. Like, it doesn't seem like it's a comedy. It just seems like it's a movie and there happens to be funny shit. Yeah, like Andrew Dice Clay and Louis C.K. don't say anything funny. They're like the least funny roles in the movie. Like, Cannavale's pretty funny in it, but they aren't. I think it's amazing that

Woody Allen would finally make another movie in San Francisco after, like, 40 years and cast an entire cast from New York. Because that's how we talk in San Francisco. We're like, hey, what the fuck, huh? Hey, you want to go down to the mission and get a fucking burrito? Why don't we go down to Fisherman's fucking Wharf and get some crabs? You know, the Dungeness kind.

How about some French bread and some white wine? Oh! Go Giants, huh? How about those fucking Niners? That's how we play in San Francisco. Dice is visiting from New York. Aren't we all? Yeah, but you're right.

Bobby Cannavale's character is very New York. I just thought it was impressive that it's a movie written from the perspective of a 40-year-old woman, but it's written by an 80-year-old guy. Yeah. I think he nailed it, too. Yeah, he did. He really did.

I think he nailed the rich, white experience. How could he know that experience? Right? He can't look at his wife. Just for the rich part, I guess. What about you, Moshe? Have you seen anything? I saw two movies recently. One was The Butler, which was great.

You mean Lee Daniels' The Butler. Right. Or as I call it, Black Forest Gump. It was so good.'m sorry it was cheesy it was a lifetime movie but i did weep at certain points in the film because i just anything black i'm on board and and then i saw gravity which i thought was really fun and then but speaking of things that i'm not on board with that are black then i had to read neil degrasse tyson's tirade on twitter about the science of the movie. Right, it's all wrong.

Shut the fuck up. Yeah, it's a fucking movie. George Clooney's not an astronaut in real life either. You know, it bothered me that a scientist didn't have better things to do. Like split atoms and shit? I don't know. Cold fusion? I'd just like to see you publish a book called Things That I'm Not

Okay With That Are Black. Be very brave of you, sir. Number one, nighttime. Number two, people. Now let me explain. As long as they're basking in the glow of total servility, I guess it's pretty

entertaining to you. Did you see The Butler? So I'm calling bullshit on what you just said because it's a really militant character. No, he isn't. No, his son is. And he spends all his time telling his son how wrong it is, how he's behaving.

But anyway, I haven't seen it. I know a lot about movies I haven't seen. Keep my ear to the tracks. Exactly. I didn't have to see Lone Ranger to get the word on that one. No, I didn't see Lone Ranger either. Here's my review.

Good night! Greg loves sleeping. What's your movie you saw recently Greg I saw AKA Doc Pommas last weekend it's about the songwriter

who wrote Save the Last Dance for Me and Little Sister and Viva Las Vegas and yeah he was he had polio so he was on crutches

and he used to go to Harlem on the subway and climb the stairs and whatnot to the subway train and sing blues in clubs and then he became a songwriter, and he wrote all these songs with B.B. King and Willie DeVille, and it was an amazing documentary.

But was he a butler to more than four presidents, though? James Woods played B.B. King in the movie, and later on, yeah, no, Marge Hufflinberger played Willie DeVille, and Dr. John was portrayed by someone else that was unlikely. That's what made that joke funny. Does John Cusack's Nixon ever hold a boombox over his head to try to woo a lady? That's a good joke, you guys. I liked it.

But nobody here, how applauded have you seen Lee Daniels the butler? That's what I thought. You can't get too specific about it. Nobody here has seen Say Anything. Well, of course they've seen that, but nobody here knew that John Cusack is Nixon, and, I mean, that's weird casting. He'd be about my 40th choice, possibly.

After Dan Hedaya passed? No, then my 39th choice would be, fuck it, let's just write Nixon out of this thing. Is Gerald Ford in it, too? He is in it. Who plays Ford? Shit. Oh, it's somebody famous.

It is? I'll Google it. Oprah. That's Oprah. That's Stedman. No, Oprah plays his wife. They should have that on Jeopardy. Alan Rickman plays Reagan.

That's almost perfect. Yeah. He was very good. Was he? Yeah, he was great. You're a pushover. I'm going to watch movies with you at home and just eat candies out of a box. Alan Rickman's like, I found streaks, Mr. Butler.

That's not how Reagan talked. Reagan was incoherent. No, I think he tries to do a Reagan impression. Because Reagan was like... Yeah, yeah. I think Rickman tries to do it. Like, remember when Randy Quaid was Reagan on SNL? Oh, my God, yeah, yeah.

That was so weird. It's like, you're Randy Quaid, for fuck's sake. Who plays Ford? Did you find Ian? Never mind. Come on, why don't you let me answer this? It's going to be really exciting. It's the only one who's going to get right all night.

Woody Harrelson plays Ford. Am I right or am I right? You're wrong and you're wrong. The answer is they're just seen in news clips. So it's Gerald Ford that plays Gerald Ford. They should just show clips of Chevy Chase falling down. That would be awesome. All right, you guys. We've got to play the Leonard Maltin game. That would be awesome. Alright, you guys.

We've got to play the Leonard Maltin game. Let the games begin! And to do that, each of you has to pick a name tag from the audience. Everybody brought name tags. You get to choose the one. I saw Cooper, Looper, but with Cooper,

which is your name. I saw that on the internet today. You tweeted it. So just get up and go physically pick the name tag you want to play for. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. And we're back! Greg, who are you playing

for? I'm playing for Sarah, is it? Show it to my Vine camera. She has an awesome poster from I think it's Lava Wind? No, I need to have you in the picture too. Oh, okay. Okay. And who are you playing for? I'm trying to

read it. He's mouthing it to me, but it still doesn't make sense. Ste? Stan? Wrath of Stan instead of Khan. Okay, the Wrath of Stan. Because they're so similar. And this one, this gentleman, like I said, was on the internet today. He put Marc Maron and Kumail Nanjiani's faces on a Looper poster. Quite effectively, except for Kumail has a little bit more color.

You used a black and white shot of Marc Maron. But it's still pretty awesome. And my name's on there, too. And let me get a good shot of that for my... Kumail has a little more color in real life, too. Very true.

Very, very true. You're acting like weights on a fishing line right now. This is... Thanks. I picked this one. It's an underrated movie,

I think. Oh, Lupert? everybody that saw it loved it not enough people saw it I don't think yeah I just think it's that guy Ryan Johnson that directed it he directed the second or third to last Breaking Bad I think it was the third to last

maybe it was a fucking amazing episode so god bless him we're to let John Cavarulo go first because this is his first time on the show. Or would you rather go third so you have a little time to catch up to what's happening? Do you think you understand?

Do you understand the Litter-Mullin game? How do I pick my topic? Okay, you're going to go first because you already know that you have to pick a category. That's a lot more than many of the guests know coming in. The process is fairly painless.

Doug offers several topics and then I would choose one. Where are you? Yeah, just pick the one. I can always look to you for sage advice, sir. I'm like John Huston as the lawgiver in the last Planet of the Apes movie. Thank you.

Not the one with James Franco. The last one before that. The one with... Yes, the one with Paul Williams was in it. Time is in many, led highly. That's what he says? Yeah, something like that. And that one holds us to the line. John Huston.

And there was a time when the apes were the earth. Now we're all together. What would Jeremy Irons say if he played an ape? This is what he'd say. Ape kill ape. And Wolfman Jack? Oh, dear. If I'm a primate, I'm dying, baby.

You can't call me a gibbon, I'm a baboon. The kids love Wolfman Jack. We got a woman, we got a movie that Wolfwoman loves. They call it Looper. Didn't nobody saw it. I was going to commit suicide in Canada until you started doing that. I survived Canada from that.

Yeah, thank you. Six weeks on the road watching Wolfman Jack commercials. I don't know who Wolfman Jack is. He was a disc jockey and then he hosted, what was it, Midnight Special? Midnight Special.

Next up, Blondie. And when we come back, Thin Lizzy. And he plays himself, or I think he's called Wolfman Jack, in American Graffiti. And Richard Dreyfuss goes to visit him and get some sage advice while he eats a popsicle. I don't know what American Graffiti or Richard Dreyfuss is.

I'm that young. No, you're not. John, you get to pick a category would you like the spectacular now which is movies that are in theaters now that got more than 80% on Rotten Tomatoes so the critics love it

or celebrating a birthday today Penny Marshall who has directed several movies each probably not as good as the last. she's on the same trajectory as Gary Marshall. The U.E. Bowl treadmill.

Yeah. Or Arch. I was in St. Louis recently and someone suggested Arch Enemies, and that's movies where landmarks in America get destroyed. Yeah, while there is a government barricade around them. I added that part because it's topical. Which one would you like to play, John?

We will go with the landmarks. Yeah, you like watching landmarks get destroyed, don't you? I think that's mostly what you're watching in your hotel room is things blowing up. No, I just haven't been to a movie in a couple of months and I fuck Ben Marshall. So, no, I

just, I don't, there's a bunch of movies. Don't wish that on anyone. There's a bunch of movies she did and I wouldn't know. The movie I picked was Awakenings because I do think that's that on anyone. This used to be my playground. The movie I picked was Awakenings, because I do think that's... That and Big are her two best movies. Oh, I do know that. Second and third movie she directed, I think.

Jumpin' Jack Flash, let's forget about that. Two and a half stars for this movie where infrastructure gets ruined. You know, monuments get destroyed. The year is 1990, I want to say, 6. Were you alive then, Moshe? Well, I don't remember it at all.

He says about this movie that it moves swiftly from the Pacific to New York Harbor. it moves swiftly from the Pacific to New York Harbor. And he also says that this movie is a no-brainer. Oh, but still offers a surprising amount of fun. So there you go. Oh my God, there's more fun than I thought there was going to be. Very wishy-washy. That's probably why he gave it two and a half stars.

And he lists 11 names. So how many names in the cast, reading from the bottom up, do you think you would need to discern the name of this movie? Zero. John Caparulo says zero names. First time player, you guys. Wow. Zero out of the box. Yeah, buddy.

Pretty impressive. Go big or go home, John. That's it. Yeah. What do you think, Moshe? What you can do other than zero? Yeah. 11. Let me hip you this. Yeah. What do you think, Moshe? What you can do other than zero? Yeah. 11.

Let me hip you this. Yeah, you're back to 11. Don't let him push you around. No. You can go negative one, which means you name the top billed person and the name of the movie, or negative two, but your best bet probably at this point, judging by... Can I say fold? You could say name that movie, hope he's thinking of the wrong movie,

and then you'll get the point. If he gets it wrong. Oh, but he probably has it right. What's my move here? I don't know. Your move at this point is if you say negative one, Greg's probably going to assume you have no idea what the movie is. Name that movie! My first move would be to play the game, Moishe.

I'm trying to figure it out, man. What do you think it is, John? Independence Day. See? Moshe gets the point. It's Godzilla. You did what you could, man. That was a great guess. I got cocky.

He said 96. It was a great guess. I was there. It's about the right time, right? Yeah. God, Godzilla's dreary. It's so bad. Dreary!

But it has a surprising amount of fun. No, it wasn't. John Reno couldn't save that movie, man. Nothing could save that movie. It even had a shitty theme by Puff Daddy. Yeah, Godzilla. Godzilla. Godzilla.

Yeah, he's Thriller. He don't like vanilla. He's a lizard. It was fucking... It was horrible. Horrible. If I would have said name, would you have started at the top?

Would you have said Matthew Broderick? No. Negative one names means you have to name Matthew Broderick. I mean, I obviously was wrong. Yeah, you didn't even have the right movie. Yeah, I know. You would have said

Bill Coleman. Because if you'd have said that, I might have. Yeah, I don't know. You're doing great, buddy. Thank you, buddy. You have the year wrong. Huh? We have a complaint from the audience that the year is wrong. What year is Godzilla? What did I say?

He also got the movie wrong, so obviously he didn't know the movie. But you know what? I was thrown off by 96, so I protest. You know what? This is amazing. Not only does John deserve a point back, the director of Godzilla is here.

The only person who knows when this piece of shit was foisted on the public on laser discs. It is 98. That's why I was like going, is it 90? I wasn't sure because it's 608. You did a great job, though. It was dark.

You couldn't see? Really? I need glasses. I need glasses. They don't work. The print on Leonard Maltin app is too small. Leonard Maltin probably can't read it without glasses. You know there's a feature on the iPhone

where you can pinch and zoom. Wait, wait a second. Not on a review you can't. Take a picture of it and you do a screenshot. Yeah, you can't make it bigger. You could if you were Godzilla. Spread your pinch and zoom lies to the ladies. You can't you were Godzilla. Spread your pigeon zoom lies to the ladies. You can't make it bigger.

Track four on Doug Loves Children. If anybody was paying attention, I fucked up because the other one was track four. No one's perfect. I'm sure the corrections department will handle that. Greg gets to go first this time, and then we'll go to Moshe. And you get to pick, Greg, between

Lawn of the Dead, and that's movies that take place, have scenes in a cemetery, or Gladiator, which is movies that have cannibals in them. Ew. Cannibals in them. Ew. Cannibals. Glad he ate her. Oh.

And someone on Twitter called I eat your dog, which seems like a very unfriendly handle. Don't eat my dog. That person suggested we are farmers. And that's movies with sheep in them. I'm going to go cemeteries. Okay, you had your mind made up. You get the cemetery movie from 1863. I really got to get glasses.

This magic lantern show was originally done in Paris by the Lumiere brothers. Later, a popular novel. Starring the Maharai. Would you like 1989 for reals

or 1998? 1989. Okay. From 1964. This 1989 movie is a bomb according to Leonard

and it takes place in part or in full in a cemetery. He says that this movie is a box office hit, but that it has, the contempt

for its audience was sensed by even undiscriminating moviegoers. And yet they went in their numbers. Yeah. So what are you going to do? And he lists seven names. I can name it

in six. See, that's a strong opening bid, Moshe. Five. John, what are you going to do? Are you going to go lower, or are you going to ask Moshe to name it? He says three, Greg. Three names. Name not nothing.

I got cocky before. It didn't work out well. All right, well, you're spreading the points around. If you miss this one, Greg will get a point. And your three names are... I'm not sure how to pronounce this one. I know... 1953.

I know. Oh, wait, if I just underbid, I just get the question? Yeah, man. When someone asks you to name it, yeah. I just stepped in shit,

didn't I? You said you could name it in three. I was just saying it. You might have. I was just saying, yeah, it's three. I didn't mean that. These names, they might help you.

This one first name I know hasn't been in a ton of movies. It's Miko or Maiko. I think it's Miko Hughes. And then people are murmuring in the audience. And then the next name is Blaze Bear Doll. And the third name is Michael Lombard. But think about it. It has it's from 1989.

It has one or more scenes in a cemetery. Leonard calls it a bomb and it's what else did I say about it? That it was a box office hit, but the contempt for its audience was sensed even by undiscriminating moviegoers. Do you have a guess

of a movie around that time that had a cemetery in it? No. I really don't. If you got nothing, we got Greg will have a point. We have a two-way tie, and you still are in it, John. It's not over. I'm the only one who's tried, and I've missed both, but I'm still in it.

I'm hanging in. I'm playing defense. Just name a movie that I'm still in it. I'm hanging in. I'm playing defense. Just name a movie that had a cemetery in it. 89, I just... Anything with a cemetery. 89, Driving Miss Daisy, but I know that wasn't... No, that's the sequel. Don't be horrified right now, all right?

I know it had a cemetery and it was 89. Hulk, pull over. I need to pee on a tombstone. Well, all right, Miss Daisy. They were planting flowers. Bush really liked Miss Daisy. Yeah, he liked Miss Daisy. I mean, it had a lot of merits. I like the butler fellow.

Right, before the help and the butler, he loved Miss Daisy. And Gone with the Wind, oh my goodness. Oh, and Birth of butler, he loved Miss Daisy. And Gone with the Wind. Oh my goodness. Oh, and Birth of a Nation. Have you seen that? Oh, classic. Hilarious.

Wait, what was your guess? Would you guess? Did you guess something? I said, I said Driving Miss Daisy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the, the top names

may not be too much help. Dale Midkiff and Fred Gwynn. Not a big a big cast. Pet Cemetery? But the movie's Pet Cemetery. Ah! I don't want to be buried in a pet cemetery.

So that means that Greg's on the board. We have a two-way tie, and John still has a chance. That movie, by the way, terrified me when I was a kid. Pet Cemetery, when they went to the attic? Yeah. Scary. Yeah, it's a Pet. That movie, by the way, terrified me when I was a kid. Pet Sematary, when they went to the attic? Yeah. Scary. Yeah, it's a Pet Sematary movie. The scariest part

is a chick with spinal meningitis. I know, isn't it? Well, as I said, my mom is deaf, so spinal meningitis terrifies me. You got to know a lot about deafness

to get that joke. But the little kid, Nico Hughes, is the same kid from Kindergarten Cops that said, boys have a penis, girls have to get that joke. But the little kid, Nico Hughes, is the same kid from Kindergarten Cobb said boys have a penis, girls have a vagina. Oh, good to know. Now he's like an adult

and I'm trying to get him on that other podcast I'm doing. It's track five. I meant album. We keep fucking up the callbacks on this horrible children riff. Because this kid was a horrible child, by the way. Greg, I think you get to go first this time. Were you left out of that skirmish? I went first last time.

Oh no, Moshe gets to go first, but then we go to Greg because Greg challenged John and Moshe gets to choose between 16 Candles, that's a movie that came out 16 years ago to, I believe, like this month. Marco Yolo. And that's movies where Mark Wahlberg dies. And finally, from our friend on Twitter,

at JSBach7000, swinging in the rain, and that's movies that have a hanging in them. Well, you know what I'm going to pick. As soon as I was saying it, I figured that might be up in your alley of movies about black oppression. I'm obviously going to pick Marco Yolo at this point.

Oh, okay. Would you like a movie where Mark Wahlberg dies from 1996 or 2006? 2006. Okay. Bold. I've never gotten a question right in this game ever. I've only won by default So no matter what I pick, I'm going to fail

Thank you very much I like that attitude You know what? He's starring in a new movie called Jewish Pep Coach No matter what you do, you're gonna fail But coach We have a chance to win, don't we? Basically, no. We're all Jews It's not gonna happen What I would suggest, invest heavily now But coach We have a chance to win Don't we? Basically no

We're all Jews It's not gonna happen What I would suggest Invest heavily now For when you're an adult Invest what? It's called Two minute shlorming

That'd be great One more bit of advice Stay away from the ball pit At Chuck E. Cheese They don't hurt Unless you suck them, coach. Dog loves children. Three and a half stars from Leonard Moshe for this movie.

An evocative look at the character portrait. The death of Mark Wahlberg. A page turner, a bard bird, a rollercoaster ride. Leonard calls it potent. Yeah, it's potent. That was too much. And he also says the main

fault of the film is it's over length. Which isn't a great clue because Leonard says that about anything that's over 20 minutes long. And he names 14 names. 14 names. Sweet Maria. Yeah, 14 names. How many names do you think you can get it in?

It will take me... It will take me nine names. Apologies to put your hands together. Is it me? We're running a little long, yeah. Seven. I can do it in seven. Okay, John.

Say three. Ten. Oh, no, a little long, yeah. A seven. I can do it in seven. Okay, John. Say three. Ten. No, no, no. John, John, John, John. Think about it. John, this isn't Looper. You cannot go back in time and murder this thing. Yeah, you got to go lower than seven or challenge Greg to name it.

Oh, lower than seven or... or challenge Greg to name it. Oh, lower than seven or... And if you challenge him and he gets it right and he hears the seven names, then he'll win the whole thing because he's already got one point. Yeah, I challenge you, sir. Name that movie, Greg.

All right. Your seven names, I have a lot of confidence in you, are Dorothy Lyman, Kevin Corrigan, Mark Rolston, David Patrick O'Hara, Kevin Corrigan, Mark Rolston, David Patrick O'Hara, James Badge Dale, Alec Baldwin, and Anthony Anderson.

Sweet Maria. You know it, don't you? I just know you. Moshe knows it? The one time you know it? Well, when you say Anthony Anderson, I got on board. It's about the movie I thought it was. 2006, huh? I'm just going to take a wild fucking... Wahlberg dies in it. Shooter? No. It's a little

motion picture called The Departed. Oh, yeah. Fucking A. I forgot. He doesn't die? You sure? What happened to Alec Baldwin? I saw it the one time when it came out and on the internet, on the thing I found of Mark Wahlberg movies where he dies, it listed that as a movie where he dies. Those son of a bitches.

I'll take the, I'll take the, give John the point anyway. I got it wrong. That'd be great on Jibberney too. Alec and Rick. But I mean, you weren't even thinking of that. You would have not thought of that movie because of whether or not he died.

If you'd said Alec Baldwin and, you know... We were just below that. Right. What's her name? Vega? I can't remember her name. Vera Farmiga? Yeah, Vera Farmiga and whatnot.

Then I would have got it. All right, we've got a three-way tie, you guys. If you'd said Ray Winstone, I would have known which movie it was. We've got a three-way tie, you guys. If you'd be Jennifer Winstone, I wouldn't know which movie it was. We've got a three-way tie. And what happens when we have a three-way tie is we go right to the asparagus pea category. And I hope I don't fuck this one up.

I just won the worst game show host award tonight. Just with one show. It only took one show. This Nickelodeon show from 1903. Mr. Bitzer, if you'll start cranking the camera, I think we can begin this production. Here's how asparagus pee works. I know how it works.

Oh, I suit you, man. Oh, the category works. Wait Wait so who challenged who there? John challenged? And I lost Alright so we start with Moshe and then we go to John And here's how Asparagus Pee works What we do is I pick a movie

And I tell you everything in the review And then If the app will start working. For some reason, the app is freezing on me. Did you tell the title? What? I won't tell you the title, but that should be obvious. That's kind of the point of the category. I didn't mean to have it.

That's okay. And then we start the bidding, and then once we're bidding, then you're essentially just going to go right into negative names. So it's who can name the most people from the cast according to Leonard Maltin from the top name down.

I wasn't paying any attention at all. That's okay. You know how it works, kind of. I guess I do. Yeah. But for some reason my shit's not... Should we plug our dates? Oh, great idea, great idea. Let's get some commercials in here while he's fucking about.

Yeah, let's get your commercials in, you guys. Go on. Oh, okay, hey, it's Moshe Kasher here. Hi, everybody. I'm just kidding. I mean, it is me, but I'm just kidding. Okay, listen. I'm going to be in Nashville on November the 2nd

at a place called The High Wire, and I'll be in St. Louis on the 1st. I'll be at the Grand Rapids Dr., and I'll be in St. Louis on the 1st. I'll be at the Grand Rapids Dr. Grin's Comedy Club this weekend, and next weekend, the 27th or so,

I will be at the Sacramento Punchline, plus I'll be in New York on November 9th, and Caroline's the week after. You have 6,000 emails. I mean,

those are stand-up comedy dates. Oh, you mean... You have 6,000 emails. Well, why are you looking at my phone, motherfucker? Because I've never seen somebody with a comma in their shit above their email, dude.

You fucking... Answer your shit, man. Get back to some people. Don't email Moishe, I think is the... That's what we've learned tonight tonight because he does not return. Or he saves everyone. They're all precious. You know, his mother had four different emails. She never fucking answered any of them.

But if you deleted one, she'd be like, what, and wake up. Dude, dude, dude, not cool. My mom was deaf, bro. My mom's dead. That was fucked up. You mentioned mothers. All right, we're starting with you, Moshe.

Okay. And then we're going to John. Wait, I'm the only one that plugs dates. Awesome. We don't get to plug our dates? Anyway, if you want to see Greg or John, whatever. But me, MosheKashim.com. We don't get to plug our dates? Anyway, if you want to see Greg or John, whatever, but me, motioncatcher.com. Yeah, he's going to be in Nashville.

We'll do him in the regular spot, your plugs. I'm ready to play, so let's do it. Correct. 1973 is the year. Oh, great. Got it. Thunderbolt and Lightfoot is the name of the movie. Good night, everybody.

Three and a half stars from Leonard, from this movie from the United States of America. It's 129 minutes long. And Leonard says about this movie, two small-time Chicago con men try to put the sting on a high roller from New York City after he has one of their pals killed. This long but entertaining film

won seven Oscars, including Best Picture Director and Screenplay, and sparked a national revival of Scott Joplin's ragtime music, followed by a sequel called The Sting 2. Colin won't be fooled again. I added that. That was back before they had those

subtitles all the time. Leonard Liss, a whopping 12 names. So in negative names, I mean, you could start with I can name in zero names, but the next person's going to be... Unfortunately, this isn't going to be a very bold move, but I can do negative two.

Sorry, that's all I can do. I was born in 79, so this is impressive. You named the title twice. Yeah, everybody knows what it is. So now the question is, do you think you can name the top three people in the movie in order? I can name the whole cast, but I'll let Moishe do it because I think he's about to fucking crack this one up.

Whose turn was it, though? Not mine. I think it's John's turn. I'm just being a cast, but I'll let Moishe do it because I think he's about to crack this one up. Whose turn was it, though? I think it's John's turn. I'm just being a douchebag at this point. You did negative two? So you'd have to name the top three. I need one more. And the right order. I'm going to...

I guess I'll go negative three. Greg could go negative four if you want. You thought you were out of it. I'll go negative three. Well, now Greg could go negative four if you want. You thought you were out of it, but... Oh, I'll go like negative five if I want. Negative five? I'll go like negative six if you want. I know the whole cast of this movie.

In the right order? You mean, do we have to go from the most obscure person? No, from the top. Okay. But in the order that's designated by letters. Watch me fucking work! Hey, for that kind of bravado, it's my turn, right?

Yeah, you can say name that movie. I'm definitely going to say name that movie. Okay, so I'm going to go with your five bid because I think your six bid is ridiculous. I said five. Yeah. No one said six. If I did, I misspoke.

Somebody sitting on the floor said it. All right, so... Paul Newman. You've got to say them all. I'm not going to say right or wrong. Paul Newman, Robert Redford. In order, then. Start from the top.

So then it would be by star power, wouldn't it? Ellen Burst... I mean, Eileen Brennan. Harold Gould. Ray Walston. That's five names. Yeah. That's what you're

going to go with. Well, do I get to amend that now? Do you want to? No. But wouldn't you want to slip in the guy who they did

the stinging operation on? Oh, fuck, shit. Robert Shaw. Third build is Robert Shaw. Robert Shaw, shit. And then fourth build is Charles Durning. Charles Durning and then Dana El, fuck, shit. Robert Shaw. Third build is Robert Shaw. Robert Shaw, shit. And then fourth build is Charles Durning. Charles Durning

and then Dana Elkhart and shit. Then Ray Walston. Then Ray Walston, yeah. Kylan Brennan, Harold Gould, Dana Elkhart. I mean, you do know a lot of people that are in it. I'm not gonna take that.

It's the most impressive loss. No, Moshe, you are our winner. Oh, no! I forgot Robert Shaw. That's inexcusable, man. Oh, man, I don't... Oh, that seems fucked up. No, but I forgot Robert Shaw. You can't forget Robert Shaw. That's inexcusable, man. Oh, man. That seems fucked up. No, but I forgot Robert Shaw.

You can't forget Robert Shaw. Sarah, we need you to come up and write down a shithead for me to say here at the end of the program. Is there a shithead written on the back of your Cooper? We don't need yours, Moshe, because you won. Oh, you don't? Okay. On the back of that thing, does it say anything? Yeah, it does.

Just pass that down to me, and I'll read it here at the end of the show. John, do you have any plugs? Oh, just check out my special on Netflix called Come Inside Me. Hi, Sarah. Just write down anybody you want me to call a shithead.

You know how it works. You remind me of the babe. What babe? Babe with the power. What power? The power of voodoo. Voodoo? You do.

Do what? I'm on with the power. What power? The power of voodoo. Voodoo? You do. Do what? I'm on to the babe. Dance, magic dance. Dance, magic dance. Dance, magic dance. Oh, I didn't get that until right now. I thought he was singing

to the girl and I was like, she is cute. I mean... I was like, she is cute. Robert Shaw, I'm going to lay awake tonight. Once again, my streak is unbroken. Never won this game by any kind of brain power whatsoever.

The name is won again. What's up, John? I'm just glad I didn't get to sing into the French Connection. You know that has a great car chase in Chicago in it. And you gotta check out the sequel to the French Connection, The Sting 2. This time it's French.

Le Sting 2. But didn't French Connection have a sequel? Yeah, French Connection 2 Yeah I was born in 75 We had a bad night all together

2001 had a sequel you know what I'm saying? Greg, get your plugs in I have a new video on chill.com called Live at Musa and Frank so if you go to chill.com slash proops

you can download it now it comes out on October 22nd. Also, the smartest man in the world podcast is free to download on iTunes. And I'll be Wednesday night at the Barley. Which one is this drop, Dougie? Tomorrow. Oh, well, then, well, you can come see me tomorrow. Yeah, if you're not coming out to Ontario, California to see me, see Greg's Procast. It's free, though, to get into yours, right? It is. And then on the 30th, I'll be at the CineFamily and I'll be showing

Eyes Without a Face by Georges Ranjou, the amazing 1959 French horror classic from my Halloween movie there at CineFamily. Ooh. I like it.

The theme song is not the Billy Idol song. But it should be, as someone said. And the whole crowd goes quiet. Who's this Billy Idol you speak of, grandfather?

What was it like when MTV was powered by Steam? Thank you. Thank you to all my guests. Greg Proops, Moshe Kasher, John Caparulo. Moshe, can you come back next week? Yeah. The winner gets to come back. All right, I'll be back next week, everybody.

So, more racial and child-based humor will flow. Yeah, email him. And as always, Kate or Kale? Kale. Kale Sanders is a shithead. I don't know who that is. Really? Kale? Kale. Kale Sanders is a shithead. I don't know who that is. Really? Kale? Like the vegetable?

Yeah. Yeah, fuck anyone named Kale. I hate his friend Goji Berry, too. He's an asshole. And ideological congress members are a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talk he hides a golden view and prowls makes it foggy there's no

room in his heart for you cause Doug loves movies