Doug Loves Movies - Greg Proops,"The Retired Pope," and "Werner Herzog" Guest

Episode Date: April 30, 2013

Doug welcomes Greg Proops, "The Retired Pope," and Leonard Maltin Game winner "Werner Herzog" to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sticky seats With 50 azopop or kernels in his teeth They're still not warm, that he won't sleep Oh, Doug loves movies Hey everybody! I really liked this subdued lighting during the opening theme so I could see what was going on out here. I should have said something about that six years ago.

But I said it last week, and it got taken care of this week because this is a crack team. The table's in kind of a different spot this week, but, you know, can't get everything right. Are we too close to you, Jordan? He says he's going to be okay.

My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from the UCB Theater on Tuesday, April 30th to Oceans 13. Since last I spoke and you listened, I attended the wedding of past and future guest Jonah Ray

to Deanna Rooney. Yeah. And, oh my god, it was the best wedding ever that I've ever been to. No religious shit. Just friends and family gathered. You know what? Also,

hey, backstage friends, could you guys just go in the green room and talk or not talk? Those are your options back there. I've never been sitting here during this part of the show and can you overhear a conversation going on right behind me? So all the guests up until today have been fantastic at that. What do we got, Pete Holmes and T.J. Miller back there?

Those guys know when to shut up. No, they don't. They're still talking. I don't get it. Yeah, so it was an amazing wedding and it was a beautiful day. It was like a restaurant bar

in Glendale and an occasional Amtrak train would speed by. At one point, I went right through the proceedings and I yelled, this wedding is unstoppable. I would yell whenever the train went by. It was amazing.

Har Mar, superstar, provided the music at the reception and he did a cover of Huey Lewis' Power of Love and Tom Wilson who was a guest there jumped up on stage and sang the last part of the song yeah Biff you butthead and then we all lined up and put manure in his mouth that didn't happen oh and I also met a cool future guest for this show at the wedding. So anyway, congrats to Jonah and Deanna,

or as they will be known by their showbiz couple name, Joanna. The next day I flew to Austin, Texas. Why? Because I love Austin, Texas, and because I made an appearance on an Austin taping of Professor Blastoff with my pals Tig Notaro, Kyle Dunnigan and David Huntsberger and that should be available for your listening pleasure soon or now. We played a round of

Lincoln or Bane and I think I'm pretty sure we did. I was drunk. Now it's time for Tweet Relief. Tweets about movies. Past and future guests Paul F. Tompkins tweeted Mad Men timeline gaffe. They couldn't possibly go

to see Planet of the Apes in 1968 because that movie took place in the future. This has been Tree Relief, tweets about movies in TV shows.

I'll be telling jokes and playing Leonard Maltin game with audience members in Boise at the Knitting Factory on Saturday, May 11th. And I'll be at Comedy Works in the state of Denver on Sunday, May 12th. Bring your moms! We got some great prizes in the gift bag, you guys.

We got some gluten-free cookie mix. We got a $10 gift card for iTunes that'll allow you to purchase whatever you want with it. $10 gift card for iTunes that'll allow you to purchase whatever you want with it, but I recommend episodes of the Benson Interruption or premium Doug Loves movies, which I don't do much anymore. Most of the episodes are free, so go check

those out. Tournament of Championships are like two bucks to listen to those. A Doug Benson Smug Life. A CD that's called The Six Most Important Sets in the History of Stand-Up, and some stickers

that say that on them. And, oh, there's like a really nice garment in here that we will explore when that guest gets out here. Let's get him out here. Please welcome Werner Herzog, Greg Prorups, and the retired Pope!

I'm sorry, retired Pope. I'm not really a Pope follower, or I don't know much about Popes. So, what's your name? I am Pope Benedict XVI. You can call... My former name was Joseph Ratzinger. But now I'm just mellowing out, man. Whatever you want to call me, Doug.

I'm retired, whatever. Retired Pope, everybody. I think I'll just stick with that. I think I'll just stick with calling you a retired Pope. I'm not here to judge and stuff and be uptight Pope like I used to be. So everybody just relax. I like the shades

that you're rocking there I think I might have gotten a little too high backstage oh yeah that was you you didn't seem to blink that you were getting high with the Pope not many people have done that it's pretty special

I think it was because he put his outfit on afterward we didn't recognize you without your miter I'm just another man. Fair enough. Couldn't we call him Pontiff Maximus? Sure. I'm going to go with retired Pope, though.

That was Greg Proops, everybody. Greg Proops is here. He brought... Can you describe this garment that's in this bag? Yes, it's a sweatshirt of Kittens McTavish from I do a podcast called The Smartest Man in the World and it's some of the fine merch that you can buy from me

given away for free here tonight. As you can see, it's made out of unbelievably lustrous flax fiber that's woven by blind children in Malaysia. They labor ceaselessly, their tiny fingers scrabbling to gain purchase as their overlords whip them with cat-of-nine-tails dipped in brine. It's an arduous process.

Hey, Werner, that sounds like something you could make a movie about. I'm intrigued by the story of these fibers. Are they man-made or are they natural? They're grown on a plateau in the Netherlands. I'm no longer interested. Wow, you really turn on people, Werner. That's Werner Herzog. Here defending his title as the Leonard Game Malton champion person winner.

And you brought gluten-free cookie mix. Yes, it serves a dual purpose. Firstly, a dumb chicken could never make something like a cookie. make something like a cookie. So it's right in animals' faces. They will never know the joy of the sweet science of baking. But also it is gluten-free,

which means it has gone through the process of science. For a second I thought you said juden-free. It's like, give me some of that stuff. And what's the CD that you brought? It's called The Six Most Important Pope, The Six Most Important Sets in History of Stand-Up.

Yes. Why did you bring this? I am one of those sets. Think about it. The Pope doing fucking stand-up? That's crazy. It's like getting high with him. Doesn't happen very often.

Get excited. And it's got some other stuff on there. Matt Messer is... Right, right. It's his project. Bjork is on there. Okay. All sorts of people.

Really? Yeah. And Greg brought two of his CDs. Because they're only worth the value of one of yours, Doug. Oh. On the open market. I'm joking, of course, but thank you for making me feel so shitty. I thought we were friends and stuff and had a comedy relationship,

but I guess I see where I stand now. Over alone, the cheese. I thought the table might be a little too close to the audience. Is that what you did? I was concerned about it. No, I didn't move it. I just said, fuck it. Let's do it live!

So, Werner, let me just ask you right now, what are you doing next week? Can you make it back for a record-shattering all the gentlemen on this panel if you win tonight

at the Leonard Maltin game can you return next week to play again? Yeah, that's the thing we've been doing. Interesting. Yes. Fuck, I'm retired.

I can do anything. What else am I doing? Perfect. I think I'm free. I am at my leisure to join you next Tuesday. Should I once again become the victor of this contest? Well, let's talk movies for a second first.

Have you been to the movies, Werner, since our last visit? I've been catching up on some things that I've missed. I saw this science fiction film, a terrifying film about this horrible robot who destroys a utopian future. I'm not sure what that is. It's called WALL-E. You're really catching up on things from a while back.

Mankind has finally got everything as it should be. The Earth is destroyed. And we live in pure science and then this stupid robot finds a plant. Thumbs down. What about you, Pope? Is that one of your things you do now that you're retired? You see a lot of movies?

I'm on the Netflix every night. I love the doc... Have you seen... Catch your documentaries. Have you seen this Capturing the Freedmans? It's about this pedophile. This guy is out of control. I mean, seriously. he's like a computer tutor? It's like, computer

tutors need to take responsibility for themselves. You know what I mean? I don't think, I think you missed the point of that movie. I think he was, I think it was a person that was unfairly accused of something. That was the point of the movie? I think you missed the point of the movie. That guy was guilty. Someone of something. That was the point of the movie? I think you missed the point of the movie.

That guy was guilty. Someone do something. His former holiness makes an excellent point, though, that too often these computer tutors they are simply transferred to another computer camp. Exactly.

Exactly. Needs to be responsibility for this. What about you, Greg? Have you seen any movies? No, not after that, no. Yeah, I went to the TCM Film Fest, so I saw about a million old movies. Yeah, what was one that you enjoyed?

Three Days of the Condor with Max Von Cito, and he was really there. I mean, he was there. Sure Max Von Cito and he was really there. I mean, he was there. Sure. I don't mean he was really there. Obviously, he was really there in the movie, but he spoke before and it was really cool to listen to him. He's amazingly awesome and they also showed The Seventh

Seal, if you've ever seen that one. It's a Bergman film. I think I made a joke about it last week that got nothing. Then I am so glad I opened up this goldmine. I remember seeing the seventh seal

at the drive-in when it came out. Exactly. May I take a quick poll of the audience? How many people have seen all of the

Fast and Furious franchise? Nobody? Nobody's seen every single one? What a pack of liars we have here. Yeah, they are. Yeah, they are.

Your subterfuge delights me. Well, Six comes out this weekend, and they haven't seen that yet. No. The first five. Oh, none of them can say that they've seen them all. That's true. You are more honest than I give you credit for. So, what was the film festival? The Turner Classic movies?

Yeah, so they showed old movies, and they had old stars. And everybody I saw was 1,000 years old, and they were all spry, and they had their marbles. And it made me think, man, I should really start looking after myself. I've got about eight years left. But then, thank you, Paul. I mean, Werner Herzog. My friend Paul is here tonight, and he was laughing in the audience

and I just saw him out of the corner of my eye I'm not a sketch performer per se I work on my own a lot and I don't listen to people well so for me I try not to have an open door policy on this show but these two gentlemen it's too hard to pass up next time I try not to have an open door policy on this show but these two gentlemen I told you

it's too hard to pass up oh no I know next time I'm gonna do a character oh really yeah I was thinking just

I was talking to a friend and they said well what character do you think Greg would do and I said I think he could do a good Peter Sellers I don't think I can do

Peter Sellers really well he does a different voice because in the party it's like this you know and then yeah yeah every movie he does a different voice and stuff oh that's a good point no I mean I don't think I can do Peter Sellers. Really? Well, he does a different voice for every... Because in the party, it is like this, you know? And then every movie, he does a different voice and stuff. Oh, that's a good point.

No, I mean, I don't... You can just do any character and say, that's an old Peter Sellers character. Hello! I'm the crazy scientist! Yes, my president! And then you... Because you even have a publicity photo of yourself

doing the thing from Doctor Strangelove? I don't. But someone probably made one or something. I wish I had, though. That would have been really good. That would have boosted my career almost immeasurably. I think when you take when you take Kubrick films from

the early 60s and use them as a promotional vehicle for yourself, I think you're you got your finger on. Next I'm going to do a jazz vocal album to kind of sail my comedy career right to the top there. Greg, what if you did one of those composite headshots where it's a Doctor Strangelove in the upper right quadrant, then you have a Barry Lyndon over on the left,

and then going down to the bottom, perhaps a Paths of Glory, and then... Clockwork Orange, maybe? Sure. 2001? Why not? That sounds good.

Did that really just happen? Oh, and maybe in the middle, a nerd. Yeah. Yeah. Always good. No, Jeremy Irons would be who I would do, I think, if I did. Oh, yeah. Because I can almost do that one.

Because he has a regular voice that you know well enough? Because he's a different, he's got a different voice and everything, right? Dog, the thing is, you see, about Jeremy Irons. Oh, Jeremy Irons, I'm sorry. I was thinking Daniel Day-Lewis. So was I. No, no, Jeremy Irons sounds the same in everything, even when he's a lion. Right, no.

I'm a lion. Later in the other one, in Time Machine, where he's a Morlock. Do I surprise you? It's always the same. It's good. You pick impressions that just sound like you, and you're good to go. Yes. You're right there.

I can do an impression of everyone on Hogan's Heroes All the Nazis Oh, so you don't do a Bob Crane? No, no, no American voices Those are too hard Alright, well I think that's everything I wanted to ask you guys Let's get to the part of the show where I say let the

Banes begin. Oh! Thank you for your applause. That sounds like a sleepy Bane. Tonight, tired Bane. Sleepy time tea, Bane. Time for some chamomile Bane. Tonight, tired Bane. Sleepy time tea Bane. Time for some chamomile Bane. Batman punched me so hard.

I lost a tooth. I'm putting it under my pillow now. Nighty night. Weird. Footsie pajama Bane. Yeah, let's pick some name tags out. Did you guys in the audience bring name tags? Do we have any?

There's a few. Oh, there's something on a stick over there. American Pie? Your name is American? Erica. I see it in the middle of American. Do we all go out and get one? Yeah, just go grab one.

Anyone you want to play for. Does the Pope understand? Yes, footloose, come to me. Hell if I'm going over to some guy. Bring it to the Pope, yes. Present it to the Pope. The record is in here? It looks like he's got a record in there.

It's the original Footloose soundtrack. Yeah. That's awesome. Pretty good. Okay. I love Footloose. Yeah. And the part where he's like oh it's in the bible

dancing's in the bible I was like I know so how is how is that a name tag I know is your name Footloose Kevin oh

Kevin Bacon is on the cover of course he's he's fun awesome walkman. I hope that doesn't start a new trend of people just bringing in a movie that has an actor with the same name.

It's not really a name tag, Footloose. And that's what I'm going to call you, Footloose. Your new name is Footloose. As a punishment. No, don't say Kevin, Pope. Don't you dare say it. Who are you playing for, Werner? I'm playing for Jane

with a Y. The end. But she may tell us what her name tag is. She has made a sort of auction paddle with half of my face and half of another person.

Oh, it's Daniel Day-Lewis. You don't know the other person? It's either Daniel Day-Lewis or Jeremy Irons. Well, it bears a passing resemblance, but I wouldn't say it's a great likeness. Doug, you should start having characters on the show. Yeah, now that I know one of my friends has a good one that's ready to go, we will make that happen.

Jeremy Irons, he'd be great to have on anyway. So, close enough. I'm booked this week. I'm busy speaking in a gay apologist convention. I'm also doing the bus and truck company Doing a guest spot in the Lion King A guest spot? What? You just run in and play Pumbaa for a night?

I don't play the lion every night Sometimes I just get with a chorus girl And call it a performance. Well, they're asking for it, aren't they, dressed as wild animals? A chorus wildebeest? Well, I don't care what kind of beast they are.

Supple is the kind I prefer. Jeremy, your name tag is a plane ticket? It appears to be a printed out boarding pass from an airline I'm not familiar with because I only turn left when I get on a plane. It's called U.S. Airways. U.S. Airways?

U.S. Airways. Zone 5, by the way. Oh, fucking Zone 5. Yes. That's the biggest fuck you that they can give you. That's where they put the luggage. Yeah. The people in Zone 5 on the

Titanic perished almost immediately. Chickens in a wire box won't get in Zone 5. Exactly. No, you mayn't have the key. The chief steward is indisposed. And her name is Sarah.

Her name is Sarah, smiley face, pick me, triple exclamation point. So it worked. Did you think that you would be able to, like, that would be a ticket that you could use? She was also in seat 13. What? Yes, in zone 5. Why do they have this? This boarding pass, the very fact that it's made it to us, speaks of the fortuosity and fortune this good lady enjoys.

Hold that up again for a second, if you don't mind. I'd be chuffed beyond measure. There we go. And let me see your name tag, Werner, that crazy face thing. That's upsetting. And the Pope and Footloose. Everybody cut. Everybody cut.

Let's play Lincoln or Bane. Yeah. Yeah. My Bane impression might as well be a Lincoln impression so I will say a line from either Steven Spielberg's Lincoln or Dark Knight Rises the character of Bane and you guys just go down the line and tell me whether it's Lincoln or Bane

and we'll start with you Greg on this first one and it goes like this I don't need your damn permission with you, Greg, on this first one. And it goes like this. I don't need your damn permission. That was so authentic and evocative that I believe that was Abraham Lincoln. Our first president.

Really our only president in a lot of movies other than that one the other one that was in Amistad what? James Madison yes the one who invented the cakes

John Quincy Adams him too Pope what do you think what is the line I don't need your permission that is Lincoln saying to am I not playing right you don't have to say what the scene is

you just have to say whether it's Lincoln or Bane I know what it is he said to Mary Todd when he's putting on her panties. Am I not supposed to say the scene? Sorry. Sorry, Warner. Warner, what do you think?

I believe that that is your president, Lincoln. That's what you all guessed, right? That's right. All right. Good job, everybody, because that was Lincoln. I just can't see anyone saying to Bane, you better get permission! You don't have permission!

Also, it's good to note that Bane never swore. He never used foul language. He was a very polite gentleman despite being clearly a homicidal maniac. Alright, let's try another one. This time we'll start with the smart pope.

I can't listen to this anymore. Once again, Lincoln talking to Mary Todd with her constant crazy jabbering. I think we finally have a contestant who's too good at this. Werner? I also feel that this is something that Lincoln would and did say.

Greg's in a tough spot. I have no idea. So just for pure math's sake, I'm going to go Bane on this. That's a fun strategy. And one person supports me in the audience. So I feel pretty strong. Yeah. He's got a visor on, so.

For reals? No. I wished it in my brain. Math and science are bullshit. What a nerd. Call it a hunch. This was Lincoln. This was Lincoln that said that.

Does that mean I'm out of the game? No. Oh, well. Jeremy Irons is out, though. I hadn't played yet. I wouldn't have said that. Does that mean I'm out of the game? No. Oh, well. Jeremy Irons is out, though. I hadn't played yet. I wouldn't have said Bane. That was an idiotic outside. I knew from the moment you said it that it was from the movie Lincoln

and it was a scene where Mary Todd's incessant jabbering and much as the Pope had described earlier. Werner, we're going to start with you on this next one. Pope goes last. I accept your terms. You can't all just ride the Pope's wave on this.

How many times have you seen Lincoln, Pope? Oh, I'm talking about talking to the actual Lincoln. Are you talking about the movie? Yeah. I'm going on all stories passed down through the Vatican. This meeting is called to order. Who said it, Werner?

For a bit of fun, I'm going to employ a Proopsian strategy here and say that this was the character of Bane from the movie The Dark Knight Rises okay Greg what do you think?

starring Christian Bale as Batman are we able to quote other Bane movies? Starring Christian Bale. Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry, Werner. Sorry. As Batman. Okay. Are we able to quote other Bane movies? Non-Dark Knight Bane movies? What other Banes are there? Well, there was Bane 2 in the city. This time it's Ur-Bane.

Starring Tyler Perry You said What do you think? Lincoln or Bane on that one? Calling the meeting to order The movie Lincoln Was watching guys meet in a room So I'm going to say Lincoln on that one Okay Pope

I'm going to say Bane Because Lincoln never called meetings to order. He had a guy do that for him. I thought it just had to be from the movie. He was the president, yeah. Oh, it has to be in the movie? Anyone? No, no, no. It's things Lincoln said. I'm not just picking out James Spader's lines.

But that would be fun. I think he says fuck at one point. Oh, yeah. There's some... There's more swearing in Lincoln than in Dark Knight Rises. And shittier violence. Okay. Not as exciting. Not enough slaves in Dark Knight.

That was a defect in the plot. You know, that was the first thing I thought, too, while I was sitting there. Like, these mall balls are good, and we're the slaves. I don't think you ever even see anyone other than police officers. No one seems to be working in Dark Knight Rises. You never see any kind of activity

that looks like anyone is employed. Are you not counting professional sports as work? I'm not, but like, I wish that guy had had a line when the football player, when the whole field collapsed as he was running and he turned around and it was all gone.

He should have had something funny to say there. They should have at least given him a, what? Did I say it was Bane? It's Bane. That was Bane that called the meeting to order. Man, I cheat too. Yeahane? It's Bane. That was Bane that called the meeting to order. Man, I cheat too.

Yeah, so good job, guys. Let's play Leonard Maltin game. All right, let's do it. Let's do it. What I enjoy about Bane or Lincoln is that there is no winner. It just stops all of a sudden. Well, in the past,

there's always been, you know, people that fail. I've never had someone just get every single one correct like that. Like the Pope did. Yeah, well, after you would say, that's definitely from Lincoln. I'd like to know which Pope was Pope during the 1860s. Was it Pope Jeb or something? You said you knew the...

Oh, we just put numbers on names. Who remembers? We just grab a name, a number, touch them. John 5, Pulse 8. You sank my battleship. Oh, we both had a fun game reference.

That's the famous German sense of humor you're always hearing so much about. Comes to the fore every 40 or so years. Plays out in Eastern Europe. And it's always a reference to tabletop games. What was the First World War? Yahtzee?

Don't say that. Too soon. Sorry. All right, Werner. since you're the returning champion, returning winner, we'll have you go first. That's how they do it on Jeopardy, right? I believe so. That's how they do it on Jeopardy.

And who are you playing for again? Jane. Jane with a Y. Okay. All right. Here we go. You get to pick a category, Werner, and then we'll go to, from you,

we'll go to the Pope and then to Greg, former Pope. Chloris Leachman, celebrating a birthday today. Correct. Who doesn't know that? So the films of Chloris Leachman. Probably the most famous Chloris.

Absolutely. A case could be made. A case could be made. Yeah. I'm trying to think of another one. I can think of a thousand Leachmans. Cloris Shepard. Best friend Mike Leachman.

Kirsten Dunst is also celebrating a birthday today. So the films of Kirsten Dunst is also celebrating a birthday today, so the films of Kirsten Dunst, or the Unreal MC suggested on Twitter right to bear small arms, and that's movies that have a Tyrannosaurus Rex in them. Which one of those would you like to play, Werner?

In honor of the dinosaurs being destroyed, allowing mankind to take control of the earth. Let's just cut to the chase. Cloris Leachman. Here we go. Which one? I would like the right to bear arms, small arms.

What was it? Who cares? Close enough. You know the one I mean. I do. 19, yeah, 19, 99 is the year. And Leonard Mullen gives this movie three and a half stars. He says that it is spectacular staging.

What that means. Of a movie. Yeah. And he also says that it has a heartwarming, heart-rending song. And, yeah. It's got a Tyrannosaurus rex in it. And there's about seven, nine.

I was going to say the rose until you said dinosaur. Fifteen names. Don't guess anything yet, Pope. Fifteen names. And the year is 1999. And I heard a little chatter in the audience. I hope you weren't saying the answer.

I can guess that film in ten names. Good, strong opening bit. Now we go to the Pope. Who's just shaking his head. Can you explain the category one more time? It's the movies that have a Tyrannosaurus Rex in them. And the clues were that it was from 1999 and Leonard gave it three and a half stars. And it has a heart-rendosaurus Rex in them. And the clues were that it was from 1999 and Leonard gave it three and a half

stars. And it has a heart-rending song in it. And it also, spectacular staging is an expression that Leonard uses in a sentence to describe this movie. How many names do you have? I can do it, nine!

Startling, Pope. I don't know if I remember this one. Okay, so you could say eight names. No, I'm going to go Kamikaze. You'll get so many. Three. Three. Oh, my Lord.

Yeah, watch me work. What are you going to do with that, Werner? Greg Proops, please name that movie. Baby. What? Baby. Why are you saying something already? Why do you keep saying baby?

I'm going to name the three performers, the three names that you get. Isn't it called Baby? Oh, I have to wait to get my clues. This gives me an awesome chance to change my shitty answer. And remember that we do... I know who played Baby. Who was it

a tyrannosaurus remember we do need a full title too when you do get around to it I would be happy to provide it your three names Greg Proops

we got too high with the Pope I think that's what happened the rules just went by the wayside when I see how free and easy he is I still know how

the rules work your three names are Jody Benson no relation The rules just went by the wayside. When I see how free and easy he is... I still know how the rules work. Your three names are Jody Benson, no relation. R. Lee Ermey, also no relation. And Estelle Harris are your three names. It's got a Tyrannosaurus Rex in it. Just think of a movie that has that

and say it. Jurassic Park 3? Incorrect. Baby. What was that one with that little baby? It was a movie about a baby, a dinosaur. Yeah, but what was that? Called Baby.

Secret of the Lost Legend. Yeah, Secret of the Lost Legend. Excuse me. It was Baby, colon, Secret of the Lost Legend. Yeah, Secret of the Lost Legend. Excuse me. It was baby colon. Secret of the Lost Legend. No wonder. You have to say colon out loud? I have a fondness for colons in film titles.

They are great. You really know you're in for something special when they're colon. Bad lieutenant. Bad lieutenant, colon, Port of Call, New Orleans. I never said the colon out loud. Aguirre, colon,

The Wrath of God. Fitz, colon, Geraldo. That's correct. Who got the point that time? Werner. Indeed.

Okay. Congratulations. I guess I learned a lesson about playing this game heatlessly, especially against a champ. The answer, by the way, was Toy Story 2. Oh! You know, with that Tyrannosaurus Rex and that heart-rending song. Doug, you gave me every chance.

I really did. I forgot they could make toys of anything. There's no law against it. If you had said a toy Tyrannosaurus, I would have known the movie. That's what I should have said. I was just, I had real ones in my head. I was thinking of all the famous

Tyrannosaurus rexes. Yes. Alright, you get to pick again, Pope. Again? And this time... I pick Bane. And then this time we'll go in the direction of Werner. And your options are A Bug's Life, that's movies that have flea in them.

Your options are A Bug's Life. That's movies that have flea in them. At Matthew Dump Truck suggested, and this is a category that's been lingering because I think it's important to have, Two Thumbs Down, and that's the movies that Roger Ebert gave less than two stars. Or your third option, bless you in the audience,

at... I do that. You're retired. I thought I'd do it for you. You're right. Relax. Have fun with it, dog. Go crazy.

And may the odds be forever in your flavor. Motion pictures with food. Food in the title. I'm going to go with the food one. Okay. Here we go. Food. Now, keep in mind, Pope, that these are tricky.

It's not a food in the title, but the word food. Correct? Some sort of food is in the title. Can I ask you a question before we start? I already know what it is. Is baby a food? Because there is such a thing.

Two stars from Leonard. This movie is from 2002. It's 81 minutes long. Oh, I know all the 81 minute movies. That means they suck. Your DVDs are organized

by running time. Who's gonna go pop in a 96 tonight? Relax. Ugh, I watched it 240 last night it was not good holy shit yeah Kevin Kline

appears in this movie Unbuild and Leonard and Leonard also calls this movie and maybe this is the only time it's ever happened

in the history of movies he calls this movie Lumpy he says it's lumpy and you history of movies. He calls this movie lumpy. He says it's lumpy. A mashed potato reference. What movie had mashed potatoes? And he lists 13 names.

How many names do you think you can get it in? FP? I can get it in I can get it in eight names, everybody. Did you throw in a quick scene from Wall-E, I think, right there?

Oh, good Werner. Good luck me getting to sleep tonight. What do you think, Werner? Seven. Okay. Greg? Six. I say name it in six, y'all.

Props. All right, Pontiff. It sounded like you were going to swear for a second. Pontiff Emeritus. Six names you get, and they are Leslie Mann, George Murdoch, Lily Tomlin, Chevy Chase, Dana Ivey, and Gary Marshall.

Are your six names. This movie that has a kind of food in the title. 2002. Two stars. 2002. And I think the Pope is going to be on the board on this one. I think so, too.

Because all I can think of is Exit to Eden, and I know it ain't Exit to Eden. What part of that is food? You've never had an Eden burger? They're garden fresh. I don't have any. I'll tell you the rest of the names. Jump in as soon as you know it, guys.

Jane Adams, Harold Ramis, John Lithgow, Skylar Fisk, Catherine O'Hara, Jack Black, and Colin Hanks. In. Fuss it. Carrot Sticks the movie. Someone just said it. I'm not going to cheat.

Mystic Pizza. Someone just shouted it out. I think when I said guys, he thought I meant all guys in the room. Can just yell this one out when they know it. But yeah, it's called Orange County. Orange County. Oh, yeah.

Orange. Man, that is some tricky stuff. Crispy counties. Pope is on the board. Hooray! It's a Pope. So Herzog, Pope, tie. Greg, you can still get in this. It's a real. So Herzog, Pope, tie. Greg, you can still get in this.

It's a real Subway series. It is. It's the fatherland versus the... Austrian, German. Yeah, the stepfatherland. Okay, so Werner gets to pick the category this time. Thank you. And then the Pope challenged Greg,

so it'll go to the Pope next. Mr. Tag, Mr. underscore Tag on Twitter And then the Pope challenged Greg, so it'll go to the Pope next. Mr. Tag, Mr. underscore Tag on Twitter suggested The Hurtfocker. And that's movies where Ben Stiller gets injured. Also celebrating a birthday today, Willie Nelson. Willie Nelson. So the film's a Willie Nelson. And a favorite category with listeners called In Theaters Now,

which of course is motion pictures that are in theaters now. With the word theater in their title. Nope, they're just in there. Okay. If there's a movie called Baby Orange out now, I am in on this one. I'm competing against you,

but I really want baby to be the answer tonight at some point. I would like to select the category in honor of Mr. Willie Nelson. Oh, okay. His birthday, right?

Yeah. It's his birthday and everyone here but me is high. He's turned 80. I'm including the listener. So either way, 80 smokes, either way

he's forgetting a lot of shit. And he's in a movie from 2008. Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie that has Willie Nelson in it. He says... Lincoln.

He says, the result is formulaic and only intermittently successful. You would think Willie Nelson would be in a good movie. And he says, the lead actor in this movie who is not Willie Nelson

is perfectly cast. Yeah. And he lists a lot of names. He lists 12 names. How many names do you need, Warner? I feel confident that I could name that film in four names. All right. that film in four names.

All right, name it in four names. Oh, this is Greg. I'm sorry to say that this is going to determine a winner right now. Thank you for being here. And good luck using that plane ticket. Sarah, I want to apologize. I don't think I can be here next week, but I'm almost sure Jeremy Arons can be here, and he's a much better player than I am. Your four names, Werner, are K.D. Aubert,

Woody Harrelson, Willie Nelson, oh, that's unfortunate, and... That's a wasted name. Woody Harrelson, Willie Nelson, oh, that's unfortunate, and that's a wasted name. We already knew that information. And someone named Sarah Wright. For the win

and the return next week. Otherwise, we'll be seeing the Pope again. Holy shit. Which I'm pretty excited about. I'm already thinking of who I'm going to pair with the Pope again. Holy sh... Which I'm pretty excited about. I'm already thinking of who I'm going to pair with the Pope. What pairs with the Pope? I think a dry white. Mm-hmm.

Oh, it's too bad I don't know any of those. Well, you could also go for an underage pink. Oh, no, I cannot. No, you can't. I cannot. No, seriously. I cannot. Think about it.

I cannot go for that. An immature rouge. You know what I'm saying? I think Hall Landoltz said that I cannot go for that. No can do. What's the name of this movie, Werner? Is it Surfer Dude? It is.

Wow. Wow. is! Wow. Oh! Wow. That was impressive. Elizabeth, I'm coming for you! Oh! It is a miracle! Oh!

I've never witnessed a miracle myself! Surfer Dude! Who knows about that dumb movie? You say, where high? Who watches that? Well done, Werner. Was that amazing? You a big fan of Surfer Dude?

Now, the waves eat him at the end of that, right? May I confess something to you? I will confide in you and the listening audience. It is my favorite film. Does that inspire any of your work, Surfer Dude? No, it is a respite from my work, which brings me nothing but great misery, which I wish to share with the rest of miserable mankind.

But when I watch the film Surfer Dude, and I see how free and happy he is just surfing and being a dude. Matthew McConaughey is a pilgrim in search of a shirt. Matthew McConaughey is a pilgrim in search of a shirt. He doesn't realize the shirt was inside him the whole time. Now, what's it called again, though? Surfer, comma, dude. That's right.

That's right. Oh, he's talking to someone? Do you wish it was surfer colon dude? Of course, that is what I would have done. But what I love about this karma, it's very ambiguous. It opens it to interpretation. Is the surfer talking to a dude? Is the dude talking to a surfer?

Is one surfer talking about a dude? Is it a description of someone like you would see in an obituary? Surfer, comma, dude. Those are his two credits. Dead from good times. Yeah. It is dude, isn't it?

Hey, Kevin Footloose, can you come over here and write down a shithead for me? Because there isn't one on the back of your valuable Footloose can you come over here and write down a shithead for me cause there isn't one on the back of your valuable Footloose album just write down you know how that works just anybody you want me to call a shithead

yeah try to stay down cause the audience needs to see three guys watching you do that what does that say oh that's a good one plugs Greg you got a plug sure I have a show called the smartest man in the world What does that say? Oh, that's a good one. Okay. Plugs. Greg, you got a plug? Sure.

I have a show called The Smartest Man in the World. You can download it for free on iTunes or gregproops.com and I'm playing all over in popular places all over this great world of ours. Yeah, go see him. Yeah.

Thank you. Pope, what do you got coming up? Well, I'd like to applaud my boy, mattbester.com. If you go there, you can get the album. He's your boy? He's my boy. We're hanging out.

Get loose. He gave me these sunglasses. mattbester.com. He has this podcast, Improfy Humans. It's delightful. Have you been on that? Not yet. Maybe soon.

Okay. I'm retired. You've been on like Comedy Bang Bang though, right? A couple of times. Okay. And Werner, what's going on with you? I know you're also a super fan of one particular comic. Yes.

Congratulations to my favorite comedian, Chris Hardwick. He is being given a third television program to host. Yeah, what the hell? How many Chris Hardwicks are there anyway? He's really seacresting this shit.

Right? Yeah, congratulations to Chris. Oh, also, I'm directing a modern family, so... Looking forward to having... You know those are

only 22 minutes long to come. How are you going to do them? Looking forward to having fun with those guys. That's great.

Saturday, I'm going to be in St. Louis and Sunday, I'm going to be in St. Louis and Sunday I'm going to be in Rosemont, Illinois celebrate Cinco de Mayo and Cuatro de Mayo with me, douglosmovies.com and thanks again to my guests everybody Werner Herzog

Matt I want to call since you're such good friends with Matt I want to call you Matt and such good friends with Matt I want to call you Matt and Greg Proops of course and as always Alex Trebek is a shithead and Ticketmaster is a shithead Doug to watch another cocky. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.

There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.