Doug Loves Movies - Guy Branum, Joe Kwaczala and Tom Thakkar guest

Episode Date: September 1, 2023

Live from The Improv in Brea, Doug welcomes Guy Branum, Joe Kwaczala and Tom Thakkar to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Yay! We're doing it! Hey, hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies!

Thanks for stopping by! Very good, very good. Coming to you once again from the Improv in Brea, California! Oh man, it's great to be back. It's Thursday, August 31st, 2020. Three kings, men, the golden circle of friends with benefits, a wonderful life

as we know it could happen to you only. Live twice in a lifetime, cop and a half, Nelson of Rambo, First Blood Blood Part 2 for the road house sitter. Guess what? It's time for Doug Plugs! Doug Plugs! Doug Plugs! Doug Plugs!

Oh, I like the way you did that, sir. Doug Plugs! Doug Plugs! Doug Plugs! Fast chant. I like it. I got two big shows coming up at Dynasty Typewriter in LA, conveniently located near Encino. On Sunday, September 10th,

the Benson Movie Interruption returns with special guest Sarah Silverman. Welcome, folks, just coming in. And Rory Albanese and on Saturday afternoon, September 16th. It's the 17th anniversary of Doug Loves Movies. I've been saying it's the 15th anniversary for two years.

I totally fucked up and didn't ever mention the 16th anniversary. But here we are at 17, and I'll have special guests on that show, including Kate Micucci and Brian Posehn, legendary Doug Loves Movies regulars. San Diego, Austin, Tacoma, Atlanta, Athens are all coming up. Stand up or Doug Loves Movies. All the dates and dates are at DougLovesMovies.com. That's DougLovesMovies.com.

Yeah! Caw-caw. Wally. Shh. Ten minutes. I love that. Only three people knew it,

but they knew it perfectly. So that worked out great. Thank you so much. Are you ready? Oh, I almost forgot

the prizes. I didn't bring a bag today for the prizes because I have a hat that I brought that I don't want to stuff into a bag it's from Western Express and it's a it's a real nice cowboy hat if you're into that sort of thing I'm not really a

cowboy hat wearer you like cowboy hats hats dude? You like hats? The bald guy likes hats everybody. What a wonderful, it really comes together nicely when your your head works for a cowboy hat. I'd pass this over to you to try it on but let's not get ahead of ourselves because I don't think you're going to win the prize today. Did you bring a name tag, sir? No. No. See, that's why I think you're not going to win.

But you never know. Everybody has a chance. And then in addition to this hat, I'm putting in the hat. This is pretty exciting. One of our sponsors is a company called Factor. exciting. One of our sponsors is a company called Factor, and they do these nice individual meals that you can just heat up and eat, ready to go, nutritious, etc. And so this is going to be a free Factor delivery to our winner tonight. And that's, yeah, that's $104 value. And that's, yeah, that's a $104 value.

I like that. Sounds like I just sank a putt in a golf tournament. It's very golf applause, which is very sweet of everybody. All right, are you ready to get the guests out here? Are you ready to hope that they're all here? I got my fingers crossed. We'll see what happens when I say their names please welcome Guy Branum Joe Quazala

and Tom Takar applause applause applause applause applause applause applause

applause applause yeah there we go there we go yes now we're talking we're cooking yeah look at you tom with your fancy uh martini yeah you can't go to the bray improv and not get one of their famous bray martinis what is that what is that? What is that? Like a dirty? Oh, it's dirty. All right. Yeah. Just a regular dirty martini.

No, it's not right. Nothing regular about this dirty martini, Doug. Yeah. I spit in it. It's dirty as hell. It's made from Brea water. I don't know anything about Brea, so I'm going to make up stereotypes. You know, about the dirty pieces of shit who live out here.

I mean, most of them did not come to this show. Exactly. The people that live around here are not particularly interested. But we do have one guest that came all the way from Encino, man, and that's exciting. And everybody else is, applaud if you're a citizen of Brea. Okay, four that's exciting. And everybody else is, applaud if you're a citizen of Brea. Okay, four of the people, four of the people live here.

Everyone else made the trek, and I appreciate each and every one of you doing that. Who didn't make it here in time is Guy Branum, who, the number he quoted to me when he texted me was that he was 15 minutes late, and it just turned 15 minutes after the hour. So that makes me feel like he could walk in any second now. But I'll introduce individually my other two guests, which I would have done anyway if Guy was here. So, I mean, he would have gone first because of doing it in alphabetical order.

But I can adjust. This gentleman that I'm going to introduce first has a silent C in the middle of his name. And he told me about it right before the show started. And I was happy to learn just in time. It's his first time on the Joe. It's Joe Quazala, everybody! Hello. Hello.

Try to guess where the silent C is. Yeah, where the hell did they put that silent C? How'd that get in there? You know, my family's been trying to figure this out for decades. We think it was a wizard, perhaps. But it's in there and I'm working every day to try to get it out.

Why can't you just remove it? Why can't you just start going without it? Because too many of your personal documents have it in there. Yeah, it just seems like it would be a hassle. For a moment, when I started doing comedy, I tried taking it out. A lot of people thought it was African.

They would see the name Kwazala. One guy did bring me up having not seen who I was. He was like, this next guy looks, he's probably pretty African. And then I had to walk out and this guy's one of the whitest africans out there doing comedy with a silency in their name joey uh so so your socials

are how do you spell it on your socials you just go with a shorter version i do joe qua joe qua kwa yeah nice that also helps people who maybe can't pronounce it. It gives them, you know, a start. Yeah. And is this your first time visiting Brea? I think so. Yeah, I have no... I mean, most people, when they come here, they know if they've been here before or not.

It's such a memorable place. I mean, yeah, who could forget? I mean, they probably have the Brea dirty water, as we've discussed. All the great Brea signature foods. The Brea soup. The yard house. You could forget. Go to the flagship yard house that's here and just do all your Brea activities.

I don't need to tell you guys. Yeah, you don't need to tell these people that don't live in Brandon all about the, you know... They came early, I'm sure. Fullerton is close by. Yeah, and they got a train station there. That's what I would have done if I was coming in from Encino. I would have taken the train

to Fullerton and then a quick Uber over here to the club. That's what I would have done. What a day. Yeah. Make a day of it. Also joining us, thanks for being here, Joe. Also joining us is a regular on this show.

It's his 17th appearance on the program. For those of you keeping track, I know I'm not. Give it up, everybody, for Tom Takar. Yay. Thanks for having me in your mall. Tom Takar and his Braille Improv Dirty Martini. Yes, that's right. There's a little stool behind you if you'd like to set it down.

I do want to set it down. There you go. I kind of like holding it. Holding it awkwardly. Well, that's the thing about a martini. It's fun to hold. There's not a lot of ways to hold it. You're just going to grab that stem and go.

That certainly is the thing about the martini. I know. I also have a silent letter in my mind. I have a silent H that throws people off. Doug, you don't got any silent letters in there? Don't. We have an R in there. Benskin.

Dork. I think it's gone. Yeah, I just go straight through Benson. It's very boring. Yeah. But Takara, that's an exciting name. So exciting. But you must get an occasional thacker.

Oh, I get plenty of thackers. You get thacked all the time. When you put, because we have someone in the audience who has a poster with all of us on it, and I have to assume you're just big fans of all of us and didn't see the lineup before the show. But would you have thought of it as Thacker? I was thinking Thakkar. Thakkar, there you go. I looked at you, I said, that guy's thinking Thakkar.

You were wrong, idiot. Hang your head in shame. The guy makes the nicest name tag and gets called an idiot. No, I'm kidding. You're a good man. Put in the work. He loves it. He's eating it up. Well, he ate up that pizza, I'll tell you.

That flatbread or whatever that was. Famous Brea flatbreads. Ooh, we got some mozzarella sticks coming in, and they're saying no thank you. Say no. We did not order those. We see them, and we don't want them anymore. We came for the burrito sticks. We took one look at it and sent it away.

That's not your food? No. Okay. Sorry. I bet you she's just going to take it back to her kitchen and the staff's going to enjoy some matz. Maybe. I don't know. Does anybody... Whose matz do you think they are?

Oh, okay. It's these. She'll probably be back after they eat a few back in the kitchen. There's a little doggy back there. They might feed some too, but you'll get the rest. And yeah, I don't know what... No, that's fair.

Here they come. These guys right here. They get the they come. These guys right here. They get the Mott sticks. Yeah, right there. Right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. There you go.

The Mott sticks. Yeah, that's them. That look not good enough to steal. Yeah. Pretty good. They're thick. Thick Mott sticks. Let's get a bite.

Let's get a bite. Let's see a bite. Yeah, show us how much drippy cheese. He won't do it. He won't do it. I really thought. We're up here trying our asses off. You can't take one bite

of a moss stick. They're probably hot still. They've done a round about the room. They've been around the room. They did get a little breeze. They did get a little breeze. They did get a tour of the facility, but I imagine they're still pretty hot because it's that cheese in the center

that gets super duper hot. Only in Brea. Do we have a bite going? No, no, no. We want you to take a bite. We wanted to see you take a bite. We're not interested. I'm going to bite that hot piece of shit? No way, dude. I'm not a bite. We wanted to see you take a bite. We're not interested. There are a bunch of I'm going to bite that hot piece of shit?

No way, dude. I'm not a sucker. We want to see you guys enjoy it, that it took so long to finally get to you. I wanted to see smoke come out of your ears.

That's what I thought was going to happen. Let me just add that the food here is terrific. Hey, I had the natural chicken sandwich. It was great. All of the improvs

have better food than other comedy clubs that just give you a basket of pretzels and some lukewarm cheese sauce. They don't do that here. They have a real kitchen. Piping hot cheese sauce. Too hot. I'm going to make a lawsuit

about it. I'm going to fool McDonald's. Do you think a person trying to get to a show who's running late would just eventually just say I'm only a mile or two away. Fuck it, I'm going to turn around and drive home? Or, what if they saw that famous yard house and said, I've got to take a little detour? Also, this club used to be like half a block down on the street, so maybe he's just standing out in front of that old spot wondering what's going on.

But, so we're going to just move on with the we'll continue to do the show, and if we get to the game part, and he's still not here, then I guess we'll have to pull a member of the audience or something. Tom and I are acting like two sailors

with our hands above our eyes. Looking for a guy. Yeah, this is really turned into a suspenseful thing. But it's not, you know, parking isn't quick here because there's like a parking garage across the street. You might have to park a few floors up

because there's a movie theater across the street that's very popular. And so let's just... I wonder what his story's going to be. It better be good. Because he can't be working if there's a fucking strike happening. So, seems like he could have left at whatever the fuck time he wanted to. Guy.

He could have been out on the picket line all day somewhere, you know. I'm going to be honest, I'm terrified of Guy, and I was worried he walked in right when I said that. He's got a big energy. Yeah. You'll see. He could knock you over easy. I'd like to see that.

But anyway. No, I wouldn't. I definitely got back to him at 8.03 and when he said at 7.53 that he was 15 minutes late. So the math isn't... But it's comedian math. That's true. And man math too.

Like being texted from any man in their car, they can never fucking admit it. Actually how far away they are. It's always... Ladies, are we right? Ladies, we're about to leave you here. Fellas, you know we be running late.

And if you ain't running late, you know somebody who ain't. Alright, so... If your friends aren't the ones who are late, it's you. Every man has one friend. We all have that friend, don't we, Tom? And if you don't have that friend, you are a friend.

I thought it would be funny. My plan was to go through and introduce each of you and then ask you a question. Like, how are you enjoying, you know, how do you like Brea? And I don't want to feel stupid asking Guy that when he runs in. Because he's not enjoying Brea. And I feel stupid asking Guy that when he runs in, because he's not enjoying Brea at all. It's a place that was hard to get to, and then he had to park and run across the street and then come in and do a show. I mean, I hope he's okay. That'd be weird if something happened between when, maybe when he was texting me, he got into an accident. Shouldn't Dixon drive? This becomes a really sad commercial.

So before we play the games, we always do a segment lately called Recommendation Nation, and that's where I ask each of my guests to recommend one movie. It could be old, new.

I prefer not be something that's from a big studio that's out right now because we're not trying to help them right now. Boo. Boo. Exactly. Boo. Brea's anti-union. We don't need no stinking unions in Brea.

We already got rid of the word law in our name, which was quite an accomplishment. They're lawless. Yeah, Brea is lawless. Do people live here in Brea? Do you ever watch that TV show, La Brea, and go, hey? We were so close. Follow-up, have you heard of the show you didn't make a woo

or anything I've never heard of it do you know it you've never heard about La Brea no it's all about fucking Wilshire Boulevard

splitting open an earthquake and then they fall through to the yeah another earth kind of underneath where there's dinosaurs

and shit it's a disaster show yeah that you know may never come back the people from Brea don't seem to give a fuck about it at all. No, because that's the joke, Tom. It has nothing to do with Brea.

They were so close. It's another. It's La Brea, not Brea. But it's close. I mean, if I lived here, I'd watch the show. Yeah. Dreaming one day we could move to La Brea. You just watch it. Hometown Pride. Yeah. And hope to someday. I'm going day we could move to La Brea. You just watch it, Hometown Pride,

and hope to someday, I'm going to get to the real La Brea. In the meantime, I'm going to hunker down here in Brea. Alright, Tom. Has all that Brea talk helped you to think of a movie to recommend? I do. I have a movie. I've been racking my brain about this because I didn't want to do

a major thing or one that everybody's seen. I have a movie. I've been racking my brain about this because I didn't want to do a major thing or one that everybody's seen. I just went to Have either of you gone to the Academy Museum? has film showings that are a good time. They did a concert doc series

over the summer and there's one about Aretha Franklin called Amazing Grace that is so fucking good. It's her doing two days at this church that she came up in, and she just sings gospel. And it's shot really well, and they lost it for like 40 years. It was footage that was just lost because the sound was gone. They hired a guy who made it who was like,

I actually don't know how to do sound. And then they just lost the sound for 40 years. And then they had somebody who could read lips, fix it all. And now it looks incredible. So Amazing Grace, if you like concert docs, it is so good. It was a great film. So you're saying some guy just sang all the words? That is how it sounded.

I lost the sound, but one guy. Just did a damn good impression. No, he doesn't sound very good, but it's really cool. No, he was able to match up all the sound docs with their lips and stuff. Because they didn't do the thing. You know in movies when they're like, cut, or they're like shot 43 and action, and they do the snap thing, the clap thing, they didn't do that, and it

fucked them completely. It's a pretty interesting story. They also have people from the doc talk to you there. I highly recommend the Academy Museum if you get the chance to go. It's very cool. Amazing grace. It's very fun. I like it. I'm in.

Originally shot by Sidney Pollack. He was going to be the director. Is that right? I didn't even know that. That came out much later. Posthumously for him. Posthumously? What a great word. That's my rec.

These guys, their eyes lit up when I said Sidney Pollack. Or check out fucking La Brea. I don't know what you people want. Wait, what's it called again? La Brea, is that not what it's called? No, the Aretha Franklin thing. Amazing Grace. It's called Suits.

I'm recommending to the show Suits. I want you guys to watch it and enjoy it. No, it's called Amazing Grace. and enjoy it. No, it's called Amazing Grace. Yeah, it just sounds like it's about somebody that gives a really good speech before everybody eats dinner.

That was Amazing Grace. That was Amazing Grace you just gave. I forgot I was even hungry. R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Okay, so alright Joe, it's his first time on the show. It's the first time I'm recommending a movie. What do you got? Um, there is, uh,

I'll recommend another documentary. Uh, this it's called behind the curve and it is a documentary about flat earthers and it is very compelling. Um, because you know, and it's very compelling because you know and it's like a lot of great documentaries that like kind of dive into a subculture like you get to learn the politics of the flat earth community and the people within it who are fighting

each other and it all culminates on like the first big flat earth convention and it's just it's full of all these like as you can imagine colorful characters but what I like about the movie is it doesn't like use editing tricks or doesn't play like a fucking

tuba when like they're walking around like it lets them say what they want to say it is hilarious because of you know what they believe but I think it's a surprisingly kind of compassionate look at people on the fringes of, like, belief and thought. Wow.

Yeah, and it's like it was not a studio movie, you know, that completely was independent. I remember studios, what do we say when I say studios? Boo! But yeah, behind the curve. I feel like it was underseen and really, really great. If you like a documentary

like King of Kong or where you see all these kind of weird characters, that's my rec. No, there's lots of good ones. That's the funny thing about documentaries is that if it's out and available, then it's probably something interesting happens. Because they start documentaries is that if you're if it's out and available then it's probably uh something interesting happens you know because they start shooting a subject and if that subject ends up

being really boring it's kind of hard to get anybody to to back you putting that documentary in uh in theaters or festivals or stuff like that so so most i find documentaries you know every once in a while one's gonna be boring or like just something you're not interested in. But for the most part, you know, when someone recommends a documentary to me, I'm usually like, yeah, I'll probably check that out because they just really, they really deliver. And there's so many movies now, there's so many documentaries that are popular enough that the subject matter becomes, then becomes a fictional, fictional. It becomes like a TV movie or a streaming series or whatever the fuck. It inspires

these things, but the original documentaries tend to always be better. Yeah. Have you watched the Telemarketers one yet? It's a series. The problem with the docu shit now is they stretch them out into series. They're not a movie.

So it's like, I wasn't going to wreck it, but I love the telemarketers. Everybody's been saying, yeah. If they have enough material, make it a series. But often, they do not. They do not. This one certainly did not. It seems like HBO and some of these places really want a series, and so they take something that should have been a movie.

I thought The Vow season one, it was like eight episodes and it was like, we got it. Yeah, and then another streamer had another documentary about the same thing. Yeah, right. It's like I didn't watch either Fyre Festival documentary.

I heard one was way better than the other but I didn't watch both. I can't double up on documentaries that are about the same topic. But you know what I can do? I can get excited about... Chill! I can get so excited about the

arrival of our third guest! He's here, everybody! Everybody cheer to get him to come out on stage. Just like, clapping your hands for Tinkerbell. Ladies and gentlemen, Guy Branum! I'm so sorry. How are you enjoying your time in Brea so far?

Oh, it's delightful. There are so many shining lights. They have a beautiful valet station. And I feel like if I wanted to get a steak, I have a lot of options. Yeah, there's a lot of steaky restaurants in the neighborhood. Is there a Ruth's Chris around here? There probably is. This is like a Ruth's Chris town.

Seems like there should be an Outback or some shit. An Outback. Yeah, see, he knows. He knows about the Outback. We got one. There's an Outback yeah see he knows he knows about the outback we got one um there's an outback believe you me well so welcome to the show guy and thank you for i traffic getting down here is awful so i totally understand i'm very sorry what happened but we were doing recommendation nation and both of these fellas recommended documentaries. Do you have a documentary that you could recommend?

Okay. I said this time, when I did your show, I would not talk about something Sarah Pauly had done, because the last two times I talked about things that Sarah Pauly had done. Yeah. But you want to know what the last good documentary I saw was? Stories We Tell by Sarah Pauly. Stories We Tell by Sarah Pauly. Sarah Pauly, actress, writer, director.

Her whole life, when she's like 18, her dead mom's friend comes to her and was like, you should meet this actor your mom was in a play with. I'm pretty sure he's your dad. And also her dad's been raising her as a single parent since her mom died when she was 11 and then she goes and meets that guy and he's not her dad but somebody is and

it's just a magnificent movie about like the way that we tell stories as families but also about loss just the specter of her mom over this whole thing her mom who fucked around and kind of fucked up everybody's life

but also they all loved her and they all miss her and it's so fucking good and you walk away from it like loving that dude she calls dad so much it's a really great movie and what's it called again telling stories we tell stories we tell what's it called again? Stories We Tell.

What's it on? Oh, it's on Max, I think. What were you guys' recommendations? I'll tell you what I'm going to be on when I watch it. Heavy sedative. Okay. Because it sounds very moving.

It's very moving, but like ultimately uplifting. It's all I'm looking for. That's very moving, but like ultimately uplifting. It's all I'm looking for. That's all I want, you know? That's what I wanted with Schindler's List. I didn't get it. You were so demanding of Schindler's List. Why can't they put in something happy? Where's the funny parts?

I got to say, I recently watched Empire of the Sun and unfortunately Spielberg is using all his fucking Schindler's List tricks not on the Holocaust. And when you see them used not on the Holocaust you're like, it's so crass when he did that

but for the Holocaust. That sounds like an anti-Semitic thing to say. He's doing all of his Schindler's List tricks. Always have to do Schindler's List tricks. That's what Schindler's List didn't have that Empire of the Sun did was Ben Stiller as comedic relief. And Ben Stiller, so castable in Schindler's List.

He meets the big requirements. He really does. I'm so excited that all of my guests are here and we're going to play some games and somebody in the audience is going to win some stuff. We're going to get into that right after this break. We'll be right back! We're back! Shout out to Angel and Steph. Did not get chosen but did bring in tiny name tags that are artistically beautiful, and I appreciate it. But Guy is going to be playing on behalf of Brandy, who made a fun change Barbie to Brandy.

And Joe is playing for a guy who's, as far as I can tell, he's made a painting of a ghost being blown and called it Joel-O. Sleepy Jolo. I don't feel comfortable saying that over and over again in greater Orange County. I feel like it is offensive

to many communities here. Can we pretend this is Sleepy Hall Joe? No, dude, let's go Brandon. The bottom line, I think, what Guy's trying to say is people who wear sheets do not deserve love. And Tom is playing for Jared, who took the motion picture red

and added jaw to make jaw red. Jared. So good work all the people who were chosen. Are you ready to play our first game tonight? Yes. It'd be funny if you all just sat there and didn't say yes. We need a minute to breathe.

I don't know who I was talking to. It was just sort of a general ramp up like hey is everybody ready? Okay, here we go. We're going to play a game. We're going to start off with a game called How Long Is It? People can't get enough of this game, you guys. Here's what's going to happen.

I'm going to say a thing. I'm going to name a thing, and then each of you has to guess how long it is. And the closest to the correct answer without going over is the winner. Price is Right style, RIP Bob Barker.

Alright. Gotta get that in there. Here's the thing. Oh, and we're going to go Guy, then Joe, then Tom. Guy gets the first bid. The amount of time the volleyball Wilson from the movie Castaway, starring Tom Hanks, has been in the Motion Picture and Film Museum.

Oh, okay. I thought you were going to talk about his screen time. I was calculating. That's a respectable supporting performance, and there's a lot of Helen Hunt at the end. I was in the middle of that. I am going to say... Hey, can I say something real quick? Yes.

I've never been a fan of the motion picture cast away. Sure, I saw it, but I'm not a fan of any movie where one man is just trying to do a thing for an entire movie, like get off an island or fix a boat. She did Terminal. Which, the Terminal? That's the other Tom Hanks movie where it's just him

in a fucking airport by himself. Right, but the airport's full of people and characters that he interacts with. I think he's still on his own for most of it, though. He's not, like, sitting by himself. He's, like, using their cafeteria, and he meets a stewardess and falls in love with her, Catherine Zeta-Jones.

She doesn't show up on that fucking island in Castaway. But Castaway, when that movie came out, the trailer showed him kissing Helen Hunt! out, the trailer showed him kissing Helen Hunt. Like the trailer goes, don't worry about it. It's Tom Hanks. He's going to be fine. He's going to make it home. But then the first 20 minutes of the movie where you already know he's going to get stranded and then he's not going to be able to deliver his packages. He works for FedEx. And the first part of the movie, he's just such a

FedEx asshole. He won't shut up about getting things on places on time no matter what. And then he gets stranded on an island. He's like, fuck. What about these packages? That never occurred to me. It's product placement for fucking FedEx. Oh, it is. I love FedEx because of that movie. It's a big ass FedEx

commercial. And then he gets stranded on the island. And I have so many problems with this movie. But I learned a new problem to have with it today. I'm going to say it is 17 years. My new problem is that his character's name, his last name, is Noland. Why? What the fuck? His character's name, his last name, is Noland. Whoa. Oh.

Why? What the fuck? That is rough writing. Yeah. That is like the Fablemans. That's like unobtainium shit from Avatar. The worst. The worst.

I thought you were implicitly saying that the problem you had with the movie that you discovered today was how long Wilson has been in this museum. No, I wrote this no land thing while I was doing Wilson research. So I would like to edit down to 14. I would like to edit down to 14 years. Okay. Which also, let us, while we're having this conversation,

let's never forget that the magical creature in The Lady in the Water was named Story. Really? Yeah. That's an M. Night production, Greg. No subtlety left unturned in an M. Night Shyamalan film. I mean,

that movie is the most story-free Shyamalan movie, and he names a character's story. That's wild. All right. Okay, so we got Guy said 14 years. Joe, what do you think?

I don't think it's that. I would guess it wouldn't be that long, so I'll say I'll actually do half of that. I'll say seven. Seven years, Tom. Sorry, which museum did you say? So we got Dice is 14, Joseph's seven years for the placement of

and sitting in the Motion Picture and Film Museum. Don't confuse it with the Academy Museum. You were talking about that earlier. I was like, oh, that would be a better place. For Wilson, I think. I think I'm going to split the difference here

and go 10. 10 years? Yeah. Yeah, I like that. Yeah. Seven feels like much too young. 14, far too old. Okay, Goldilocks.

In 2016, we had bigger things on our plates. We had more going on. It was a smokescreen. Big presidential election, Real Housewives of New York were losing control of their relationship with alcohol. I think we had more things to worry about than Wilson, the volleyball. Meanwhile, 2013. I think we had more things to worry about than Wilson the volleyball meanwhile 2013 top of the priority list we had nothing going on let's get this volleyball

in the museum here's let me recap what you all said Joe said 7 years Tom said 10 years and Guy said 14 years you could have gone weeks or days or months if you wanted to said Joe said seven years, Tom said ten years, and Guy said 14 years. You could have gone weeks or days or months if you wanted to, but you didn't. You all went with years because you follow Guy's lead and he does seem like the smartest person.

But this was, I was hoping someone would figure out that this is a trick question that ball isn't in any museum oh you're starting with a trick guy just got here 30 seconds ago you're going to fucking try to trick him this is bullshit I didn't try I succeeded

but I don't feel good about it we trusted you Doug I just thought somebody might just go fuck it and say zero. Zero days. And then end up being right on the only answer that would win. So congratulations. We have a three-way tie in our first game. What the fuck?

Yeah, exactly. First question. Exactly. So question. Exactly. So this next game... I want to start a petition to get that volleyball in the goddamn museum. I've never heard of it. Put some respect on the name. That ball deserves it.

This belongs in the museum. The thing is, in the Academy Museum, it would totally be there. Oh, yeah. That's what I was thinking. It seems like a place for it. It's mostly they got a bunch of it would totally be there. Oh, yeah. That's what I was thinking. It seems like a place for it, but it's mostly they got a bunch of Oscars there and costumes. They have that midsummer dress.

Okay, the fucking midsummer dress goes in there? Yeah. The volleyball can go. I'm sorry. But here's the issue. He's a character. Here's the issue. The one that was used the most in the movie is somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. Oh, I knew he was dead. And there were backups and one backup recently sold at auction for like $12,000 and but the owner isn't a museum

It's just some guy. One of the Wilsons. You should work on that for tax purposes. If he became a museum, he could save a lot of money on his purchases of volleyballs. That's a genius idea. Just put one glass thing in your house. Or a church. Make it a church at Wilson. That'll be even better tax-wise. That's a really great idea.

Just put it up there and everybody just comes in and plays some fun music. You know, nobody talks. You just all worship the ball. And then leave. maybe go to brunch in beautiful Brea California get a nice outback steakhouse meal

Brea keep your eye on the ball alright so we'll call that a wash and we'll just play a second game and Guy gets to go first again All right, so we'll call that a wash, and we'll play a second game. And Guy gets to go first again, but we'll switch the order up this time. Tom, you'll go second, and then John.

It's easier for me anyway. It's a game that I call, Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? People love this game. I will tell you, starting with Guy, the tagline from an actual motion picture, and these can be pretty tough because it's from all movies made over all the time. And yeah, any movie could be the answer, but hopefully these taglines describe the movie well enough

that you might think of it. Plus, there is a theme. So once you've heard a few of these, you might get an idea of what the theme is, and it might make it easier to answer. Here you go, Guy. Of course, it's hard to figure out the theme with the first one. A masterpiece of modern horror.

That was their tagline for a motion picture that hadn't come out yet. It's always fun when they call it a masterpiece. I'm... In advance. I'm going to say that generic of a tagline has to come relatively early. So I'm going to say Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Terrific guess. Tom, is it the correct answer? Is that the correct answer? I certainly don't know That's how this game's going to work You guys are going to decide Correct Next question

Sounds good to me You can say no and then that way he doesn't get the point Yeah but I'm not that type of guy I'm going to give it to him That's points for guy. No, I don't think it's right. I don't think you would ask me. No.

All right. I'm going to go with... This is wrong, too. I'm going to go with paranormal activity. A masterpiece. When it came out, they were into it. People were into it. It's true. But that's not it.

I'm trying to think of modern. That's not it. Wait, they were into it. People were into it, it's true. But that's not it. I'm trying to think of modern. That's not it. Wait, guys, something. Oh, laying into the modern of it all, but the magic of this game is no one ever thought about their taglines. Yeah. A deep reading, but I did come up with another better answer. But Joe should go.

Go ahead, Joe. I'll see if I get it. I'm going to guess The Exorcist. Terrific guess. Not the right answer. Guy, what were you thinking? Like, Eraserhead feels like you would want to say, this is modern, but it's still probably not right.

You're all so close, and yet so far. That was the tagline for it. The Shining. Oh, shit. I mean, but you understand why they felt confident calling it a masterpiece it's based on a book yeah and Kubrick you know they throw away

the modern part really threw me for a loop who was modern then that's a good point that's a complicated thing you know maybe it's also this could have been a poster, it could have been a tagline for a re-release or something. Every time I see Shelley Duvall's face, I see,

that's something new. You ain't seen that before. It was very unique and special. Can I get a bullet on the rocks? Oh. He just goes right to the closest server. No, I'm in an actual bullet.

Can I get a bullet? Can I get a bullet in the brain, please? I'm not having fun. After I blew that first answer, I should die. Do you need a drink, guy? I'm good, thank you. Joe, are you alright? Yeah, I'm fine, thank you. Okay, good. Alright, so Tom's the only one

that wants to get fucked up. Let's go. Bray is into it. Jared, I might fuck you on this. I'm going to have a cold drink. I'm glad you said on this at the end of that. All right. Everything else, I'll keep it on the other end.

Jared, I might fuck you. On this, on this. All right. We'll, on this. Alright. We'll start with Guy. Round two. Are you ready? Yes. Okay. Owen asked his friend Larry for a small

favor, dot, dot, dot. Oh, I'm going to go with throw mama from the train. That is correct! Very good. Wow, great. Great poll. You didn't know it from that? No, I was thinking of...

You know what? I can't even pull it. Is that worth saying? I now pronounce you Owen and Larry. That's it. All right, Joe. If I was giving out points for comedy, you would have just gotten one. But no such luck. Tom, you get to start on this next one.

You're first, then Joe, and then Guy will tell you guys what it is. This is a weird one. The tagline is just what's in his head? Question mark. Oh, is it being John Malkovich?

That's a great answer. It would have been perfect for that movie, but nope. That's not it. Dang, what's in his head? It's weird. In his head, what's in his head? What's in his head? Yeah, I love in Being John Malkovich when Malkovich is finally just so over what's happening

and he's like, it's my head! He's like smacking his own head. Oh my God. Everybody has the right to their own head. Nobody should be inside your brain hanging out. But that's not the answer. Joe? That's a really good guess.

Really good. We were ready to hoist you on our shoulders. Hey, I was ready for it. I would have invented a time machine and go back in time and make it the tagline for that one. Maybe find something new for this other one this is this is difficult

I almost just want to say for the rhyme and because it's the only thing I can think of Drop Dead Fred that's great man I haven't thought about that movie in 20 years Drop Dead Fred it would That's a good answer.

Drop dead red. It would not be a good tagline, but it was the only thing coming to me, and I don't want to waste everybody's time. No, that was a good guess, but incorrect. Guy, have you figured this one out? No. I am torn in two directions. One of them is like, what's eating Gilbert Grape? But I feel like

the question is already asked by the title. And then I was thinking in sort of like a Truman show, a TV, that kind of direction. But I am going to go with the genre of bad failure

of magical movie with Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. I have to say, if it is the Imaginarium of Dr. What's-His-Name, I'm gonna take a bullet.

It's not the Dr. Parnassus. I think, yeah, it's not that doctor. Is it that fucking Eddie Murphy? Is it Pluto and Ash? I gotta talk about Majorium for a second. Talk about nominative determinism. When you have the name Majorium,

you fucking have to open up an Emporium. And thank God he was magical because otherwise he'd just have a boring Emporium. No, I was going. Or an... No. I was going to say an aquarium. It's not what women want, is it?

Oh, that's not... But that's what's in their heads. Yeah, that's what I thought as well. What's in her head? What's in his head was the tagline for Barton Fink. Oh, man. That is a weird one.

I watched that with my mom, a cafeteria lady, when I was 13 years old, and we did not understand. We watched it, and we were like, that wasn't Raising Arizona. They should have gone with the rhyme. Barton Fink, what do you think? Oh yeah! Because you know how those Coen brothers are with their cute rhymes. What's in his head? Yeah, all right, so we got so far we have The Shining, Throw Mama from the Chain, and Barton Fink, and here's the fourth one. Boy, this one I really do not understand. Tom gets to go first.

The tide has come. Oh, shit. The tide has come. Yeah. I've seen this movie and I do not understand why this is the tagline. If that helps you. I'm just gonna throw... Red October. Comma the hunt for... Comma the hunt for... yes. Oh, is that what it's called?

The hunt for Red October. We were shorteners in my house. Red Oct, we really called it. in my house. Redoct, we really called it. I mean, yeah, it would have been just as good a title. I have no idea what this could be. But it's not the Hot Friday Car. Alright, Joe? The tide has come.

It's pretty... It's kind of silly, so I feel like it wouldn't be too serious. I'm going to say... Piranha 3D. Oh. I like it, because it actually does involve water.

Yeah. But I don't believe the actual movie that it's for does. Maybe this was a typo. Uh-oh. Maybe they meant the time has come. Guys figured it out? No, I haven't. But you gave a hint. Yeah, you did. You said it doesn't necessarily involve

water. So think of land stuff. The hunt for land on Google. Think of movies that would have a character named No Land. Does anyone know any movies that are about University of Alabama football? Because I am a person

ill-suited to find that in my head. I mean, I was just going to say Endless Summer, because it's a surfing movie. Yeah, that's a good guess. But it's not right. Yeah, everyone's going to be like,

what? That was a tagline for the movie Misery. Oh, Jesus. Wait, what? Based on the book by Stephen King. Is that like something Annie Wilkes would say, like that the tide

has come, like he's due for a reckoning? No, she would say? Like that the tide has come? Like he's due for a reckoning? No, she would say like you're a bad biddly-boodle or something like that. A bad biddly-boodle? She said cutesy swear words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She said like you're a little, like she'd give him cutesy names, yeah. The tide has come. No idea why that happened.

But that's where we're at. Misery, Bart and Fig, Mama from the Train, and The Shining. Ready, Tom? Yeah, man. I feel like an idiot. I can't think of what this theme is. That's okay. This one might help you.

It's not okay, Doc, but thank you. This movie had a tagline, the most devastating detective story of this century. Okay. Yeah. The most devastating, and here's the question, which century, you know?

Oh, good point. When was this written? It could be either one. It could be one of two centuries. There's so many centuries. Are people in this century throwing around the best of the century yet, or is it a little early

for that? Detective. The problem is I'm having trouble pulling... Detective. I appreciate that you just keep making noises at the very least. Yeah, well, I've got to say something. Because the quiet thinking isn't interesting to listen to.

I know, I don't want to kill any more time. I'll just say the first... You'll just keep blowing into the mic. What do you want me to do, Doug? Yeah. All right, Dick Tracy. I don't know. I got nothing. Yeah. I got nothing. I mean, I

probably would have said that. The thing is, the most devastating dick of all time around the century, I should say. You don't have anything, Joe? It was the most devastating detective story of the century, you said? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to do what Tom did.

Why don't we go... You are doing it by doing that Everybody make fun of it but you got to do something to kill time Just for a laugh I'll say the great mouse detective It did get a laugh Guy what do you think? Incorrect, Guy

Chinatown Why? I wrote that pretty good. Guy, what do you think? Incorrect. Guy? Chinatown. Why? Oh. Because she's... Oh, yeah, that's a detective story. Yes, and she's his sister, her sister and her daughter. I mean, I...

And he solves L.A.'s water problem. Right. But the thing is, you know that this is probably for a movie that is not the most devastating detective story of all time. It the thing is, you know that this is probably for a movie that is not the most devastating detective story of all time. It kind of is. But it's definitely, it's wordplay.

Okay. It's not about actual detectives. Oh. Oh, god damn it. All right. Yeah. Did you guess something? Oh, I said Chinatown.

I was wrong. Yeah. But same, you're in the right decade and you're in the right decade, and you're in the right vibe, because 70s cinema. All the president's men. Oh. That whole Watergate thing was the greatest

detective story. Are you sure it wasn't Dick Tracy? Probably if I just double-checked it. Oh, shit! Yeah! I always read that wrong. I was going to say, Batman is probably if I just double checked it oh shit yeah I always read that wrong I was going to say Batman is my backup so well you know because he figured out

that one throw him off from the train Guy wins this game congratulations Guy what is it can I speculate as to the theme? Please. It's going to be very wrong.

But I was like, I just know that Ann Ramsey's nomination was in 88, I think. And so I was like, are they all years with repeating numbers? But then All the President's Men is 76, I think. That would be such a wild theme for me to hope to figure out. Yes. The numbers, the year they came out, or double digits. I think I know. Is it hotels?

No. But Barton Fink's very high-end. Barton Fink, Shining, Watergate. Oh, yeah. That's good. That's really good. I thought maybe. Yeah, Misery is not a hotel

yeah I mean it's like a hotel yeah he's staying he's staying there it's a bed and breakfast it's a bed and break your leg fist do people

do people suffer foot damage in all of the films these are movies you shouldn't watch if you're scared of foot damage let me do let me there was one more that was here in case there was a tie These are movies you shouldn't watch if you're scared of foot damage.

Let me do, let me, there was one more that was here in case there was a tie. And let me see if any of you can just say it if you know it. When a series of murders terrorized California, one man took responsibility for them all. Summer of Sam? That would be New York, right? Oh, yeah. What the fuck? Yeah.

I can't think of another. I mean, California has people named Sam. Very true. Name one. Yeah. It happens. No guesses? California.

Hmm. Yeah. It's not L.A. Confidential because three men took responsibility for it. Oh, that's right. This is just one man took responsibility. I just also love that expression. It's a murderer. I'll take responsibility.

You know what? That's on me. You know what? Let's put it on my tab. I got this right. I really have to take the blame on this one. That's from a movie called Zodiac. Oh.

Okay. on this one. That's from a movie called Zodiac. Oh. Yeah, the David Fincher classic with Robert Downey Jr. often bent over a typewriter. It's all movies that heavily feature typewriters. Alright, that's fun. Yeah, it is.

I know, I said joylessly. And I did it for two reasons because one in honor of the ongoing writer strike and the fact that they're not using their typewriter justice for Trumbo yeah typing in his bathtub

but also I wanted to just remind everybody about my upcoming shows at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles. You've got mail women to go with that, too. On September 10th and 16th. Yeah, they're typing on computers a lot in that one. No, but there's a big typewriter moment in that movie. Right, because Tom Hanks is in love with typewriters.

No, it's Greg Kinnear. He collects them. Greg Kinnear. Tom Hanks the guy. Oh, is that true? Yeah, Tom Hanks is a typewriter nut. I see, I see. If we could bring Nora Ephron back,

I would first make her fix Julie and Julia. But then the second thing I would do is just make her make a rom-com just about Parker Posey and Greg Kinnear. Yes, dude! Oh my god, I'm obsessed with that idea. Brandy likes this. I have conspiracy theories about it.

I love that idea. Let's make that fucking movie, guys. That's great. Are they available? Not until the strike's over. All right. Well, congratulations to Guy for winning that game.

All he wins is the chance, opportunity to go first in our final game, which we will play right after these messages. We'll be right back. Woo! All right, we're back!

Home stretch, everybody! We've got one last big game to play. This is going to determine our winner today. Guy won that last game, so he gets to go first again in our final game, and it's something that I call Super Last Person Standing. This is a tough, complicated game but it's

pretty fun. Each one of you is going to ask, we're going to go to your lifelines and they are going to pick three actresses, actresses, actresses only tonight,

who then we will proceed to, once we have three names, I like to play along on this game, we'll take turns naming movies that those three actresses are in. And I'd be actresses, you know, two of them are in a title together. I don't know yet. But the idea is, if you know, two of them are in a title together. I don't know yet. But the idea is,

if you can't think of a movie that one of the three actresses, you don't have to do the actress that you, your person picked. You get all three. If you can't think of a movie, you're out. But your lifeline, and that'll also, your lifelines, it'll help them choose who they want, because it's late in the game. They're going to come to you for help. You can go to your lifelines it'll help them choose who they want because it's late in the game they're gonna come to you for help you can go to your lifeline once which is your name tag person so let's start with who did guy pick guy picked Randy Brandi over there and she's going Meg Ryan whoo we already already said a Meg Ryan tonight I won't say which one yes I don't want to say which one. Are you good with that? Yes.

Okay. You don't get to check with him. I mean, but also, yeah, he's good with that. I think we're all pretty good with Meg Ryan. She's been in a lot of movies. All right, let's go to Jolo. Nicole Kidman. Nicole Kidman.

Talk about being in a lot of movies. And the ad for AMC Theaters doesn't count as an answer. It feels epic, but it's not a full-length film. And then, Jared? Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep! Holy shit! I'm looking at the time.

I don't know. Can everybody stay all night? Is that cool? So Meg Ryan, Nicole Kidman, and Meryl Streep. TV shows don't count, but she's really good on that show I'm not going to say the name of because it's on a streamer that we're striking against. But you know what I mean. Good actors.

All right. Meryl, Meg, or Nicole. And we'll start with Guy. Then we'll come down here to me. Then Joe. Then Tom. And, of course, I can't win. I'm just here to play.

You've got bail. Right? You might as well start with it and then I might as well go Sleepless in Seattle. Let's go with Joe vs. Volcano. There we did it. We did all the Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks movies.

I'm going to go with Something's Gotta Give from Meryl Streep. Wait, wait, back up. No. Hang on, I got this. Wait, wait, back up. No. Hang on, I got this. Yeah, that's incorrect. Fuck! Oh my god. Are you serious?

She was in the other one. Well, don't help him. Oh my god. Oh, fuck me. I'm just going to switch. Can I have one? Yeah, that's why I stopped you. I'm sorry. God damn it Can I have one fucking... Yeah, that's why I stopped you. I'm sorry.

God damn it. I know that one, too. I'll say In the Cut for Meg Ryan. Next word. Top Gun. Yeah, Top Gun. Tom's looking at you like he doesn't remember. She is Goose's wife. I believe you.

Don't get me wrong. She says, take me to bed or lose me forever. Okay. Which is Kuz's wife. I believe you. Don't get me wrong. She says, take me to bed or lose me forever. Which is quite a threat. God, it's complicated. Shit. God damn it. I will say the devil

wears Prada. Nice. Yeah, very good. Dude, I have to go to my lifeline immediately. I'm sorry. Wait, what's happening? What's happening? Slow down. I'm having a tough time.

Slow down a second here. Is it me? We've got three of the top actresses... I know. ...of all time. I've always struggled with this. Very successful women. I'm freezing.

I know. But let's recap. You've got Nicole Kidman. I know. I can't think of've got Nicole Kidman. I know. I can't think of one fucking Nicole Kidman movie right now. It's driving me crazy. I know it's too. I'll know all of them as soon as I'm done here. Meg Ryan. I love Meg Ryan.

Yeah. Think of another movie she was in. Buddy. And then say it out loud. I would love to do that for you right now. What about like if somebody came up to you on the street and go, name a movie Meryl Streep's in, you really can't do it? She's in a thousand movies.

I know, I know. I'm fucking freezing here. I can't think of one. I'm going to have to go to my lifeline. I'm sorry. All right, well, go to your lifeline. I'm sorry. And then you'll listen to the other answers, and it might spark something.

I know. I'm sorry, man. It's never too early to go to a lifeline. I know. I'm sorry, man. It's never too early to go to a lifeline. I know. I'm sorry. Let's see what he's got for you. This is exactly what I was fearing. What happened is that you were going to say Meryl Streep because I have so much trouble with her. Alright.

I'd go home and open up a Meryl Streep book if I were you. Get ready for the next time this happens. I know. Pop the lid on Nicole Kidman, Far and Away. He's saying Far and Away with Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise. Can you name other Tom Cruise films? I certainly can.

Yeah, there you go. So think about that while you're waiting for your turn to come around again. Guy? I'm still doing Meg. French Kiss. Yes. Frenched. she got Frenched inner space

that's such a good movie yeah right I'm gonna say Mamma Mia oh yeah alright I'm gonna say Mamma Mia

here we go again yeah I was hoping you would do that thank you Joe I'm going to say Mama Mia Here We Go Again yeah I was hoping you would do that here's briefly a flashback she's dead by that movie but she is in there but it's more a Cher vehicle yes

Sarah shows up as a replacement for Marilyn I am going to go with Prelude to a Kiss. Interesting. It's Meg Ryan again. Yes. With Alec Baldwin switching bodies with an old man who then gets very excited that he

gets to kiss Meg Ryan because he's just an old man. It was an AIDS metaphor for the 80s but they took that part out of the movie. Damn them. Okay. Oh, it's on me. Armed and Dangerous.

Meg Ryan and John Candy. I will say Into the Woods. That's a good Meryl Streep. She's stupid. I'll say Eyes Wide Shut. Yeah, there you go. There you go. Somebody came to play.

Jared, we are hooked, brother. You're not getting the hat, alright? So get your eyes off of it. Doug, do you know Meryl Streep's first film performance? Oh. I got guesses, but I don't think I know exactly the first one

it is Julia starring as Lillian Holman very good so then shortly after that she must have been in Woody Allen's Manhattan we're going in order

now guys and then probably Kramer vs. Kramer I think there were a few more in between but that's an early one for sure Kramer vs. Kramer I might be fucked

is Burn After Reading is Nicole Kidman in that? I thought she was I'm out I'm sorry I fucked you Jared I fucked up the game you did a great job No. I thought she was. Alright, I'm out. I'm sorry. I fucked you, Jared. I fucked up the game. I suck. I'm gonna go. You did a great job. No, no, no. It's fine.

Sorry, Doug. I let you down. I've never thought of you as a player that comes in and does so poorly. I know. You're just having an awful night, I think. I think this is the perfect storm for me

is what happened. The second you were like, it's actresses. I took advantage of your sexist nature. I was like, I am fucked. Every one of these actresses has a dude standing next to them for the entire film. And they're the cute one next to the dude. I'm sure you guys will say a million to the dude. I thought Burn After Reading was going to be it.

I'm sure you guys will say a million that I know and I'm sorry. Okay, you're out. Okay. Joe. Kramer vs. Kramer. Meryl's first win. Meryl's first nomination for an Oscar. That was for The Deer Hunter. The Deer Hunter.

Yes. And also in the mix there early on, she co-starred in an Alan Alda joint called The Seduction of Joe Tyler. Oh, wow. Someone was watching IFC in the late 90s. If we're talking Oscars, I think her second

Oscar was Sophie's Choice. Yes. I'll go with French Lieutenant's Woman. Okay. This is really happening. I like half of this title. Iron Weed. Oh, nice.

That was going to be my next one. Iron Weed's a good one. I kind of feel better. I don't know. I've not seen any of this. It's making you feel better that we just all casually know all these Meryl Streep movies.

Yeah, fuck you. What are you talking about? Iron weed. I thought you were going to say Iron Man. I was going to be like, I missed that. I will throw out

Bridges of Madison County. A Cry in the Dark. Silkwood. Why don't we do August Osage County. She-Devil. Oh, I was just going to say that! Adaptation.

We'll do another iron one. The Iron Lady. Defending Your Life. Holy shit, it's coming around fast. Oh my god. I'm going to flip over to Kidman and say The Hours. It's a nice transitional piece because it's also a Merrill.

It's a Merrill as well. And I'm going to take The Hours and I'm going to change it slightly to The Others. Nicole Kidman. Cold Mountain. Frigid as shit. Shit.

She was in a movie, I think, that was just called Lion. She was, yeah. Nice. I'm going to go with Bewitched. I'm going to go back to Meryl for... Did I say Cry in the Dark already? You did. Oh, okay. Then I'm going to go back to Meryl for... Did I say Cry in the Dark already? You did. Oh, okay. Then I'm going to go back to Meryl for Defending Your Life.

Oh, we did that one. We did do that one. Sorry. Then I am going to go with Nicole's first film, Flirting. Oh, yeah. All right. If we're doing Kidman, I want to go with The Stepford Wives. I'll go Days of Thunder.

Yeah, that's the other Tom Cruise I was thinking you might think of. Back to Meryl for Music of the Heart. Back to early Kidman, Dead Call. Oh, that's the one. I was trying to remember it. I'll do New Kidman and do Being the Ricardos.

Nice. Super New Kidman. Heartburn. Aquaman. Yeah, good job. Who's in Aquaman? Nicole Kidman, yeah. She's always...

Ever heard of Mom, I'm guessing. Yeah. I'm going to go to die for her. Oh. Yes. That's a good movie. Great movie. Moulin Rouge. Holy shit, this is going fast. Meg Ryan, Hanging Up.

Oh, great. Very good. I was trying to think of that one. That one I knew that was like the only other Meg Ryan movie I did know and I was like you're a big

Walter Matthau fan grumpy old man let's do Walter Matthau I'm gonna do Florence Foster Jenkins oh yeah another

god she's nominated for practically everything Marvin's motherfucking room. Mic drop. Mic drop. You skipped me. Hmm?

Oh, I'm sorry. Or was it his turn? Oh, now it's my turn. I think it's your turn. Okay, okay. I thought I got skipped, but man, this is really I haven't played against two amazing players and one terrible player. Oh, dang.

Glad I drove out to Bray. In such a long time. Oh, in the land of women. Ooh, yeah. Oh, dang. I want to say Nicole Kidman was in the Invasion of the Body Snatchers reboot called Invasion.

Oh, wow. That's a deep cut. Yeah, I don't know if that's real. The sweeping epic Australia. Yes, of course. I should have been thinking about where she's from. This Meg Ryan in a movie called United States.

Gosh, I really, like, I don't want to take too much people's time. Do you have another one, Joe? Yeah, I do. Holy shit, you got another one, Guy? Alright, I'm going to let you two fight it out, Joe. Alright, here we go. Postcards from the Edge. Rabbit Hole. I'm going to let you two fight it out, Joe. All right, here we go. Postcards from the Edge. Rabbit Hole.

Ooh, Rabbit Hole. Kidman. I'm going to say Animal Kingdom. Whoa. Kidman? Yeah, it's a Lee Daniels movie. Yeah. Oh, the remake of the Manchurian Cancer.

Yes. Did you want to jump back in? No, no, I'm good. I mean, I thought of another one, but I'm officially out. Yeah, okay. Let's say... Yeah, I'm starting to lose the thread just a little bit.

You want to go to your lifeline? Oh, yeah! I guess that was an option, right? You got something? The Golden Compass. The Golden Compass, that's great. Nice. Yeah. that was an option, right? You got something? The Golden Compass. The Golden Compass. Nice. Did I say Cold Mountain? Yeah. Okay.

Alright, Brandy, you got something for me? Practical Magic. Practical Magic! Margaritas. I went to that movie on my 25th birthday. That's how old I am. That's a great birthday. I have one that's kind of a sleeper

because Meryl plays the voice at the end of AI. Nice. Oh, I can confirm that. Yeah, that's true. Um, no, I was just thinking of Bimish. I can confirm that. Yeah, that's true. No, I was just thinking of the image. Alright. We went through

Iron Week. It's so quiet in here, you can hear a check drop. I'm so sorry. Let's hear it for the wait staff for being here this evening great job, great improv always a good time

oh, Out of Africa Out of Africa yeah, good good one I may have to go for it because it's between two movies I can't remember which one but I think Nicole Kidman is in

Batman Forever yes good job Joe is excited could not remember which Joe jumped the gun Joe jumped the gun told you you were right before I did he knew he's biased.

I mean, Nicole Kidman's in so many things. All of them are. Marilyn and Nicole, they make movies in their spare time. Yeah. In between making movies. They love the stuff. Oh, God. Can't get enough.

They fucking love that crap. Is that it, Guy? Remember, she's not keto. It's unfortunate to say that... Oh, that was the spirit. That was the spirits. House of Spirits. It was very bad.

It came out in 1990 and it's the movie that Meryl and Glenn were in together. A lot of, uh, really bad old age makeup. Yep.

The worst. Joe. Damn. He pulled one out. I cannot believe it. I'll give you the same amount of time to think of one.

You've got 15 minutes. Sorry. I'm sorry. Um, yeah, uh, I Sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. I know. I'm thinking of a Meryl movie, but I can't remember. I'll do another one of my plugs while you're doing that. I'm doing stand-up in Sweet Home San Diego on Saturday, October 7th at the American Comedy Company at 420.

Caw-caw. Why don't... Damn, if I knew we had this much time I wouldn't want this whole fucking thing go home think it over Joe we'll reconvene in a week or so let's go to Outback have a steak is one

I'll just like do a wild swing I love it Could Meryl potentially be in the movie Full frontal I don't think so There's a lot of people in there Julia Roberts is in there What's his name

Blair Underwood But I don't remember Meryl Streep being in there But Joe what a run you had. That was so good. Guy Branum, ladies and gentlemen. Stuck in traffic, comes running in here to sweep up and win the whole thing.

He was studying these three actresses' IMDbs. I'm sorry I was so late. I'm sorry I took so long on Out of Africa. But also, Death Becomes Her. Boom. Oh yeah. I thought of Lemony Snicket too late. I'm sorry I took so long on Out of Africa. But also, Death Becomes Her. Boom. Oh, yeah. I thought of Lemony Snicket too late. Oh, yeah. That's good. I was trying to remember the Soderbergh

movie about, like, laundromats. Oh, yeah. The Laundromat. She's in it. It's called The Laundromat? Yeah, Meryl Streep is in it. Nicole Kidman's not in We Bought a Zoo, is she? No. Scarlett Johansson. What's the matter with you? I'm off, baby. Nicole Kidman is in Paddington.

Hey, Tom, who was in that movie you saw last night? I don't know, some actresses? Guy Brando, congratulations. What would you like to promote this evening? What do you got to plug? Again, I have nothing to plug because I don't have any good stand-up dates booked and I cannot write

or act. So I'm going to say please watch Platonic on Apple Plus and please come to Jenny Yang's show at Dynasty Typewriter that I promoted last week on September 13th and I forgot where it was and then Doug was like, it's probably a Dynasty Typewriter, and it is!

Oh, there you go. Perfect. Thank you, Guy Branum. Tom Takar. Yeah, I have a new special out called Takar Noir. T-H-A-K-A-R. It's free on YouTube. It's spelled Noir,

because some people aren't French. Noir, N-O-I-R, like the cologne. But it's free on YouTube. You can get on whatever you get your albums and stuff. And then I will be in. I'll be at the DC Improv coming up and Vermont Comedy Club. I'm doing an hour at the Comedy Cellar in New York if you happen to live there. That's September

12th, so come out to that and take it away. Thank you. Right on, dude. Right on. Sorry I fucked up the game. That's alright. I guess you do it every time. I just forget. I don't do it every time. I forget and invite you back. Meryl Streep has... I've lost on Meryl Streep poorly before. I fucked up.

Everybody's mad at me. I hate myself. Alright, go ahead. I fucked up. Everybody's mad at me. I hate myself. All right, go ahead. Just keep drinking. Don't do that. Just jump into a glass of bourbon. This is what I'm going to do all day. Just sipping bourbon. How could I not know hanging up?

I've had people play the I got too drunk card, and that's why I couldn't play the game. I promise that's not what it is. That's not what happened. No, that card and that's why I couldn't play the game but that's not what happened on the way here I was like god I hope it's not Meryl Streep Nicole Kidman and Meg Ryan it seems so easy

it seems the easy talk to a little reason but great first time appearance on the show Joe what have you got to say thank you guys I have a But a great first time appearance on the show, Joe. What have you got to say? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, guys. This is very sweet.

I have an album of sketches and songs coming out called Funny Songs and Sketches. That'll be out on September 29th. And I will actually be doing an album release show at Dynasty Tech. Yeah. The night before September 28th. Dynasty Tech. Yeah. The night before, September 28th.

And if you want to, yeah, go to at Joe Kwa on Instagram or TikTok or Joe K. Joe K. on Twitter, and I'll let you know about all that. I'll be relentlessly promoting it. Thanks, Joe Quazale, everybody. Thank you. And, yeah, I already did all of my things that I wanted to plug. So thank you to the Brea Improv and everybody who came out tonight. And one more time for all of my guests, Guy Branum, Tom Takar, and Joe Quazala.

And as always, throw your loop. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. Throw your loop!