Doug Loves Movies - Hannibal Buress, Samm Levine, Sean Jordan, and Graham Elwood Guest

Episode Date: March 30, 2013

Live from the Helium Comedy Club in Portland, OR, Doug welcomes Hannibal Buress, Samm Levine, Sean Jordan, and Graham Elwood to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 azobococ kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug's eyes Hey everybody I didn't do any hash oil hits today so don't panic oh lame

alright hold on for just a minute I'll be right back no I'm you know I'm high but I'm not So don't panic. Oh, lame? All right, hold on for just a minute. I'll be right back. No, I'm high, but I didn't go crazy, which is easy to do here. My name is Doug, and I love movies and Portland. This is Douglas Movies. Coming to you from

Helium Comedy Club. It says so right behind me on the wall in a delightful drawing of Sumtown. Very colorful place wherever it is. Helium Comedy Club

here in Portland, Oregon on Saturday, March 29th to Ocean's 13 at 420. And this is the part of the show where I say, show me your name tags. Let's see what kind of name tags we have. I knew there would be a lot of them. You guys have been really good at this.

We got Kate's Extreme Gluten Cookies. Now with more gluten. Silver Screen Queens. And then you just put Mike Porky on there? Pinky? Pinky, sorry. And you're wearing pink too. All right, Pinky.

And what's this? All About Jane. Oh, Ian? pink, too. All right, Pinky. And what's this? All about Jane. Oh, Ian? Ian. Okay. I'm running out of leash. I can't get any further. Oh, check this out.

We went to Helium and watched Doug Benson solve a puzzle. It's very complicated. Oh, it's not going to work. You throw me the idol, I'll throw you the whip. Here we go. All right. This is a Chucky doll, and you put a post-it on it that says your name, Brian. What an artistic achievement.

Graham hates gluten. Well, that's his cross to bear. What are these pills that you're holding? Claritin. Claritin. Okay. I thought they were like birth control or something. Oh, and you wrote your name on each claritin?

Jess Wow, J-E-S-S I hope that doesn't affect your You don't miss a dosage or whatever Whatever it is Claritin is like allergy medicine And Matthew has pictures Of a bunch of different Matthews This is always a fun challenge for me when this happens.

We've got Matt LeBlanc. We've got Matt Damon, Matt Lauer, Matthew Broderick, Matthew McConaughey, and Matthew Fox. That wasn't that hard. All right. Oh, there's some sort of Rice Krispie in a treat. Bacon Rice Krispie. Okay, can I taste it? I'm not guaranteed that you're going to get chosen, but I just want,

just break me up a piece that has some bacon in it. Oh my God, what is, I'm scared of this. Can you actually grab a piece, or is it just, you have to just eat it with a knife and fork out of the pan? What do you mean, just take it? How do I eat it?

I just want to eat it Here take it back There's what? Oh a fork? Now this is too complicated But I gotta try this fucking thing Yeah Alright, it was really good effort on your part.

Thanks for bringing me a block of Rice Krispie bacon treats that are impenetrable. That's the girl from the host? Oh, Les Miserables. She looks the same to me. Alright, let me really quick get a vine of this, and then we got to get moving, because we got lots of fun guests and stuff in store for you guys today.

But now I always make a vine of the audience and all the name tags. Let me make sure that... Can we get, like, house lights and a little less of the lights in my face? Is that possible? Is there any person near that kind of switch? No? Okay. So this is gonna be more of a dreamy effect of, like, what it looks like from up here.

Oh, that's better. That's good. That's real good. Thank you. All right. I'm just gonna vine across the room. Yay, Portland! You did it! Uh... I didn't get all the way over to Matthew. I'm sorry. All right.

Thank you for changing the lights. And then I will post that a little later because there's no reason to delay any further. I got a couple of quick plugs here to say, as I always do. It's the night before Easter. And if you're thinking about watching a movie tomorrow that fits in with the holiday, I recommend

Fatal Attraction. Dead Rabbit. That's not really... That wasn't a plug. That was just something that I wanted to say. And then I've got two more stand-up shows tonight here at Helium, and then I'll be doing stand-up at the UCB Theater

in Los Angeles on Thursday, April 11th. And April 13th, I'll be in Phoenix at Stand Up Live for two shows. And now it's time to look in the prize bag, you guys. There's some great stuff in here. Some Sour Patch Exploders. I love any candy with the word Exploders in the title, especially spelled wrong on both ends.

And then we've got a book that we'll talk about when the guest gets out here. This is interesting somebody left some guitar strings here and on the package so I'm just gonna get rid of it but on the package it says please return

to Nick Thune so whoever wins has to get those to Nick Thune and we got a Smug Life CD. We got a couple DVDs that are fun. Oh, and this is kind of cool. A gift for you. It's a $10 gift certificate over at the Laurelhurst Theater and Pub.

So, yeah. So that's a neat thing that somebody can win. And did I mention Douglas Movie's T-shirt? And I think that's it. All right. Four great guests, four great comedians that are all friends of mine that are here in Portland as we speak and about to come to the stage. Please, and three of these are our fiercest,

some of our fiercest Leonard Maltin game competitors and one newbie. Please welcome Graham Elwood, Sean Jordan, Hannibal Buress and Sam the Mam Levine aka Lil Wolverine What's up? Ridiculous. Oh.

Wow, what a panel. Yeah. How do we do this? Portland. Yeah. Yeah. Let's start with, we'll talk to each of you About being here

And what you brought For the prize bag Or maybe if you didn't Bring something But it's not your fault Because you know It's a last minute thing Sean Jordan

Is here everybody Local phenom Come on now Sean Jordan You may have seen him In a He needs a little more heat On his microphone

I haven't actually said anything yet. There we go. Okay, sorry. That was like the first thing I said. I knew somebody needed some heat. It's a little early. But you may have seen Sean in comedy clubs around town or at the skate park.

Fuck's so funny. Why is that funny? That makes no sense Yeah you might see him At the skate park That dipshit You won't I broke my leg recently

So I can't go skate So I just watch a lot of movies now And get hammered Alright fair enough And you brought You brought Sour Patch Kids Cause you love to enjoy them While watching a film

Especially the ones that Exploders Yeah those ones blow up In your mouth So it's like a mouth shot. It's good. It's good stuff. You guys, you have to bring the deals. If you win, you have to bring the Sour Patch Kids with you to the Laurelhurst when you go to a movie.

So do that. And I also was told it can buy one ticket, a beer, and a piece of pizza for $10. So if you're a loser like me, go buy yourself and get that shit done. It'll be fun. Yeah, I was going to say you also brought that thing. Oh, I'm sorry. That's all right. All right.

Graham Elwood is here, everybody. Hello! And that gentleman brought a copy of the Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies. Yes, with a foreword by you, Doug Benson. Yeah, also chapters by Jackie Cation, with a foreword by you, Doug Benson. Yeah. Also chapters by Jackie Cation, Greg Proops, and many others. Why does it say Habitat for Humanity on the back? What is that?

The publisher, Morgan James, gives a little portion of each book to Habitat for Humanity. That's awesome. Yeah. How about that? How about read and build a house? And I'll be out in the lobby selling that and all my other stuff after the show. So get that autographed. Oh yeah, and you can get his Palm Strike Dance Party

CD and Palm Strike t-shirt and Palm Strike underwear and Palm Strike dildos. Palm Strike Day After Pill. Yeah. Palm Strike leather socks. Palm Strike leather socks. Strap on Palm Strike dildo. Okay. Gross, Graham. Strap on palmstrike dildo.

Okay. Gross, Graham. No, it's real stuff. Everyone's taking it very seriously. The palmstrike guide to taking it one too far. Yes, I've got that. It's a very long book. Sam the Ma'am Levine is back. Yeah.

A.K.A. Little Wolverine. is back. Yeah. A.K.A. Lil Wolverine. Helium. Portland. Next time in Buffalo, right, Doug? You just clear out your closet of horrible DVDs. How many of these do you have?

Those are the last two horrible ones. Finally. That's it. So we've got Backyard Fight Clubs. Volume three. Yeah. As long as Meatloaf isn't in it, I'll watch it. I don't think so. He's part of Fat Club I don't watch.

Yeah. I don't need to see those mantids flapping around. And then Executions 200X. Yeah, I think they were trying to say 2000X, but they forgot a zero. That is not an American-made DVD. I have watched it. I can assure you there are no actual executions on it.

It's mostly just, like, police footage from, like, Thailand of, like, people post-accident. It's really not enjoyable at all. You shouldn't even watch it. It's just awful. I'm thrilled it's out of my home now It's the limited collector's edition Here's the good news On my flight on the way up here

I ran into Jesus Christ And he signed both of these Because it's for Easter He comes up to Portland He was with you and coach on the plane? There was only one class On the plane Oh that's only one class on the plane. Oh, that's probably why.

You were on a Jesus plane. Yeah. Where he doesn't have a special area. There are no classes in Jesus' eyes. I thought I saw Jesus on that flight. Was he sitting in the bulkhead and complaining about having nowhere to put his bags? It was an unfortunate scene. Yeah.

And our fourth guest, first time on the show, very happy to have him. He's in town performing tonight. Hannibal Buress, everybody. Hello. Hey. What's up? How are you doing so far?

You feel good about this? I feel all right about it. I didn't know when you said bring a CD or DVD, I thought you meant of mine. Yeah. That's the idea. Like, Graham brought his book. Yeah, like, it's a chance to promote your item,

but we could still mention it. Oh, no, I thought, because I just saw people bringing, like, that sort of shit. No, I'm in that Fight Club DVD. Oh. I invented Sour Patch Kids, so yeah. I would have just brought some DVDs. I got some shit in my bag in the car.

I don't even know what it is, but I definitely have some DVDs in there. Yeah, my guests always have something they want to get rid of. And then they write Jesus on it. No, I didn't do that. And it's a lot of fun. I did not. I mean, they get Jesus to write Jesus on it. You know.

He was very willing to give up an autograph for only five bucks apiece. But let's just have Hannibal, you could just sign one of these items. What would you like to sign? You want to sign the Sour Patch Kids? Just grab the Sour Patch Kids. You want to sign these? Yeah, I'll sign those. Why not?

Yeah, put your autograph on those. That'll be a fun prize for somebody. Sour Patch Kids signed by Emmy Award winning... Ooh, a Southpaw, ladies and gentlemen. Waka Flocka Wild Boys. Waka Flocka Flame. I love Waka Flocka Flame. Yep, it's the real deal, guys.

I can verify. It's his real deal, guys. I can verify. It's his real autograph. So I'm excited. Thanks for having me, Doug. It's very dark and weird in here. And it's the nicest day we've had all year. We're like, fuck it, let's go inside and get hammered. Yeah, it's a beautiful day outside, so I appreciate everybody being here.

I'm going to know no part of it. But I like the way this club does a great job of simulating nighttime. Yeah. I feel it. Yeah, so I'm high enough to not know. And a windstorm, apparently. Yeah, it's a little breezy up here. Right under this seat, it is.

Yeah, well, you're an easy, breezy cover girl. My reputation precedes me. Deceit, it is. Yeah, well, you're an easy, breezy cover girl. Repetition deceives me. Now, speaking of being easy and breezy, Graham and Sam went on a movie date together yesterday. We sure did. To see a movie meant for teenage girls. Oh, big time. Called The Host.

Yep. Oh, my God. It's fucking Twilight in a cave. It is so bad. This movie does not work on any level Not even as like, it's a bad movie, we're going to have fun No, it's just awful It's unwatchably bad At least the upside though is it's long and boring

All these aliens have taken over human bodies And there's a small group of ragtag gonna fight back. All right, awesome. Oh, no, let's just have her fucking go around. They created some dumb love triangle. Nothing happens. Between these three actors,

they all look alike. Unidentifiable from one another. We kept going, which... One guy would walk in, hey, man, I can't believe it. And another guy, why would you do that? We're just like, which one is this? Which one?

At least the Twilight movies, one is this? Which one? At least the Twilight movies, one's a vampire, one's a wolf. Yes! One's a Latino dude, one's a pasty white vampire guy from Seattle. You know what I mean? Like, it's fucking weird. It sounds like a pretty original premise at least, right? Yeah. Gotta give him credit on that.

It's so, it's like, oh God, and I like that actress. She was great in that movie, Hannah. Yeah, it's gotta give him credit on that. It's so it's the it's like oh god, and I like that actor She was great that movie Hannah. Yes, I or Ronan or however it's not sure say sure snorchner Schneebs knob Snob Ronan Shawshank Redemption. She's a great actress great You got anything positive about the movie?

I just said it her that there was a period of the movie that Graham was able to fall asleep in For like 12 minutes Very comfortable sleeping movie Really good If you need to catch up on your sleep in the middle of the day That's your film It sounds like it also brought the two of you closer together It really did

Sam and I needed a little us time Was this before or after your bike ride That you guys went on when you had the purple bike? We went on a bike ride today. We have had the wondrous most gay couple weekend. We stopped and had breakfast at an outdoor cafe. We had brunch. We went shoe shopping together. This is all real.

This is all real. I bought these slacks, and I just love them. They're comfortable. Did you see any dogs in the park that you're thinking about Getting that breed We're more cat people We're a cat couple Cats in the park I like to go down to the Portland cat park

This fucking town would happen If any city would do it, it's fucking Portland. If you go like five blocks, if you go like five blocks that way, there's a bunch of goats hanging out in a field. Do you guys know that?

There's like five blocks that way, there's like 15 goats just kicking it in this field. It's absurd. Are they gluten-free goats? Probably. Are they vegan goats? I'm sure they have

strong political viewpoints of some kind. And do they have face tattoos? I would imagine they have strong political viewpoints of some kind. And do they have face tattoos? I would imagine. One of them does. He's the bouncer at the strip club we were at last night. Oh, sassies.

Yeah. That's why I love Portland. I came for the city of books. I stayed for the strip clubs with fine dining inside them. I didn't notice any fine dining. Well, not at Sassy's. Oh, I see. I see what you're saying. But there are others. I think the strip clubs are overrated.

I agree with a lot of it. I don't want to see a fucking hipster stripper playing peekaboo with the... Yeah, we saw you already. You're naked. You can't play peekaboo after you saw her butthole. Going with the thing. Yeah, we saw you already. You're naked. You can't play peekaboo after you saw her butthole. She's going under the thing. Get the fuck out of here.

Shake your titties. Why are you doing that? You're just... With your glasses. I saw some shit right here. She was reading a book during her downtime. Who does that? Yeah, you're not better than us. Reading the Republic and shit. Right before she shows us.

I think when you're not working, whatever you're doing in Portland, when you're not working, you're supposed to be reading a book. I think that's how it works here. The guy at the front door, two days running now here at this club, is so engrossed in his book that when we show

up, he asks to see our tickets before looking up to see that we're the guys that are in the show. Yeah, and he's always very like, whoa, whoa, easy guy, hey, ho, ho, ho, like we're trying to rush the gate, like sneak in or something. Let me finish this chapter. Hey, whoa, whoa. And then I'll look up and deal

with you. Well, have you ever read a Grisham? They're very gripping, all right? You gotta... That's fair. Thank you, Sean. Now it's all on you. What is your favorite John Grisham movie of all time? I don't know any.

You can't even name one? Think of Tom Cruise running. I had to stop thinking about that to think of a Grisham movie. That's what I'm always thinking about. And now you're telling me to think of that some more. I don't know, man. Vanilla Sky. That was such a great crime drama

The Vanilla Sky And it took place I think in Memphis She was one of my favorite strippers last night Vanilla Sky What about Memphis? You weren't into Memphis? She had great tits but a disfigured face I didn't make it up that far I didn't Have you been that far. I didn't.

Have you been to the movies lately, Sean, that you could remember one of them? I don't know. I went to Lincoln a while back. So last year? Around the holidays? I just watched Game of Thrones. I've been like balls deep in that.

Wow. It was good. It was gnarly. But yeah, I haven't. No, I haven't watched. I've been meaning to watch There Will Be Blood Again. Nothing interesting about that, I know. I apologize. You've been meaning to watch There Will Be Blood Again?

You've been meaning to watch it again? Is there... Godfather 2 looks interesting. You guys have seen it? No, I haven't. Why do you want to watch it again? Are you thinking about adopting or something? Bastard in a basket.

This is my son and partner, Sean Jr. When I say I'm a Game of Thrones man, I think you'll agree. Thank you. You know, when Pete Holmes isn't here, we don't... Yeah? No sidebar? We don't need... No, sidebars are fine. I'm talking about the Daniel Plainview impression. Oh, does he do those?

We get plenty of it when he's on, yeah. He doesn't... I always miss them. He never stops. Oh, well, I know when to stop. With the Daniel Plainview. I know when the bit's over. Let's talk them. He never stops. Oh, well I know when to stop. With the Daniel Plainview. I know when the bit's over. Let's talk about it

for five more minutes. Hannibal. What's up? You been to the movies lately? I saw movie 43. 42? 43. For real?

Zero reaction? Nothing? It was... I was performing next to a movie theater. A movie 43? Yeah. It was just a bunch of... I can't believe the prequel's already coming out.

Because there's a movie called 42 that's about to come out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's about a black baseball player jackie robinson first one ever no why would you know about that movie i know about that but anyway movie 43 yeah it's just a bunch of has anybody here seen it it's like a sketch movie yeah has anybody else here see it? No. You did? I don't think it was out here.

It's terrible. Yeah. It's pronounced Hannibal, but go on. Yeah, it was pretty bad, but it was enjoyable in certain parts. It was gross. I'm glad I didn't pay for it. That was one thing. It's one of the things where you say, if I paid for this, I would have been mad. But since I didn't pay for it. That was one thing. It's one of the things where you say, if I paid for this, I'd have been mad,

but since I didn't pay for it, it's all right. Killed time until I had to do my show. That's what I did. Saw Gangsta Squad. No reaction again. I mean, people judging my experiences and shit. Just telling you what I did when I had the kill time into my show. I don't go in as a fucking cinephile, go in and say, what's next?

That's where I go. What's next? I want to watch that and kill two hours of my life. Gangster Squad was fun. Gangster Squad was good. It was a lot of killing and people talking. Brolin just being that super hard-ass cop. That's just fun to believe there was actually a cop like that

that just fucked people up all the time. Yeah, I enjoyed Gangster Squad a lot. It was cool. There's guns. It had a story. It had a conclusion. The characters got what they wanted. There was a girl or two in there. It had a conclusion The characters I love a good conclusion There was a girl or two in there

It had a first act It was conflict And it was resolution And I enjoyed it So Yeah Now Doug I also saw The

Spring Breakers Which I know you and I I knew you were going to, which I know you and I... I knew you were going to bring it up. You and I had varying viewpoints on this. I enjoyed it. Yes. But from the point of view of this is what's happening on screen is a terrible thing. Yeah.

Oh. And anybody with a daughter probably wouldn't enjoy that movie. Or who's been outside and talked to other humans recently. I would think... There's some human interaction in it. Yes. Has anyone here seen the picture? A few of you?

Two or three people. I don't even think they know the expression spring break around here. Doug just zinked the fuck out of you. If you were going to see the movie,

just set fire to $12 and put a CD on repeat for the next two hours. Same thing. There's different

songs throughout the movie. No, not about the music. The dialogue literally is in a loop. They do repeat

themselves a lot. Like six, seven times in a row, and you're like, is the projector broken? What happened? They just keep saying spring break. Is that what they keep doing? Yeah. It's this weird style thing that Harmony Co.

Ryan is going for. Yeah. And I like kids and gummo. This one, I just not. Okay. I just wanted to make it about movies. Does the movie, does it have violence? There's lots of violence. Does it movie have violence? There's lots of violence.

Does it have people talking? There's some talking. I'm going to go see that shit. There's a lot of titties. All right. I'm seeing it. Sold. Sometimes they show the same boobs again.

That's disappointing. It's like, I already saw those Yeah It's like I already saw those It was like peekaboo Didn't work for me either then How are we doing on time you guys? So good Now Graham Killing it

Not only do you go to see a lot of movies But I just want to briefly mention For anybody that's a fan of podcasts that you have uh that you're part of a festival yeah that happens each year in uh october yeah this year the la podcast festival will be october four through six in santa monica and doug loves movies will be one of the podcasts featured in it so go to lapodfest.com and get your tickets today yeah it's fun you can go go and just stay in a hotel where all the podcasts are going on.

You just get out of bed each day and go downstairs and watch podcasts being taped. We'll have, yeah, I mean, this year, Mark Maron and Greg Fitzsimmons coming back, Todd Glass, Aisha Tyler, Doug, as I said, and we're lining up more and more every day. Check that shit out! Come on!

And someday you're going to probably take it on the road to other cities, right? Yeah, I think so. Once we get it built up enough, I think that's going to be the plan. I think Portland can totally stand to have a podcast festival. I think Portland would love the shit out of that, huh? Yeah! We'll call it the Bike Lane Podcast Festival. The Food Truck Face Tattoo Organic Gluten-Free Bike Lane Podcast Festival.

I'll tell you, I eat at the Asperger's Food Truck every day while I'm here. Asperger's! It's burgers served up by girls in hot pants. I have an idea for a food cart. It's called Gangster Reps, and it's just like reps, and they're named after rappers. I think it would do amazing in this city. So if one of you guys wants to give me like 25 grand,

I want to start it. That's about what it would cost, right? I don't have an idea for a podcast, but if you have an Easter Bunny costume, please email me After the show At HannibalBurris

At gmail.com I really need An Easter Bunny costume By this Easter Because it's tomorrow So the clock is ticking. It's 7 o'clock. All right, get out your phones, everybody.

In the audience that has that, because you should text him or email him right away. Yeah. Because the listeners aren't going to get this until tomorrow. Is your email on push? Because if it's not on push, you might not get it until after 7. That's a little iPhone humor, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, the notification.

That's alright. No, that was the appropriate reaction from you and the audience. Listen, we all have been there before. It's just a shared human experience. Did you make a Vine, Graham? Is that what you were doing? Yep. What was your caption on your Vine?

It just says DLM Taping in Portland and it shows everybody on stage and a little bit of the audience. That is fun. It's all-inclusive. I bet you get 74 likes on that one I hope so Jesus died for your sins

I wonder where Jesus is staying here in Portland What? I wonder where he's staying He's staying right here Like right there Oh At the Doubletree? Yeah, yeah, no He's a big Hilton guy He's a diamond here Like right there Oh At the Doubletree? Yeah, yeah, no

He's a big Hilton guy He's a diamond member with Hiltons No, he stays at the Hilton but he hangs out at the bar at the Ace a lot Going deep on the local reference thing, I guess

I thought I saw him over at the Douglas Fur Well this is the part of the show Where I like to say Let the games begin We are Portland's Reckoning let the games begin. We are Portland's reckoning. Take control, Portland.

Take control of your bike lanes. Hannibal, did you see Dark Knight Rises? No. Oh. Had to think about it? Hannibal, did you see Dark Knight Rises? No. Ooh. Had to think about it? No, I didn't see it, no.

Wait, which one is that? The most recent one, with the guy with the mask on his face. I heard so much about Bane. You just heard two pretty bad impressions of Bane. Yeah, I haven't seen it. I meant to see it, but it's just kind of, you know, it's one of those things in life that I didn't catch up on. Like Cougar Town.

I always meant to catch up on Cougar Town. But it just got behind. Those tough decisions. Yeah, Dark Knight Rises is like Cougar Town. I always meant to. They drink a little more wine in Dark Knight Rises is like Cougar Town. I always meant to. They drink a little more wine in Dark Knight Rises. I downloaded a full season of Cougar Town on iTunes. And I only watched two episodes.

It was a fucking waste. And I travel so much. I got the time. fucking waste and I travel so much. I got the time. Well, good luck in your Cougar Town endeavor. Thank you, man. Can I get a Jameson ginger ale, please? Can you order drinks on

pot? Yeah, you can. Yeah, sure you can. What would you like? Jameson ginger ale. A little Jameson and ginger ale. It's a classy drink. And a halffeweizen, please. And a... No one's listening to us. It doesn't help that I said it like the biggest coward in the world.

And a Hefeweizen, please. Could I have a Walla protein shake? Could I have a Walla protein shake? Run down the street. Yes, you can go to Frederick Meyers and get yourself one, Graham. Done. Sold. A kettle one and

soda is what I'm having. Sam's good with the water. I'm very good with that water. It came from Fiji. Let's see what happens. Let's see if we get those drinks. I just put a pillow under I almost said a pillow under

my tooth the other day. What? I slept funny on it. This first game that we're going to play is called IMDB because IMDB. It's true. I understand. I understand now. I get it.

So true. I respect that. I see what you did. I understand. I get it. I respect that. I see what you did. This is a game about on the IMDb site,

they have the 250 top movies as voted on by users. And I think that moves around a little bit what order things are in. But as of right now, out of the 250 top vote-getting movies on IMDb, which movie, we'll go down the line, we'll start with Sam and go to Hannibal, but each person just name what you think is the movie that's ranked higher on their list between Star Wars, A New Hope, and Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back.

A New Hope, and Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back. The original, and then the, in my opinion, far superior sequel. Which one? I mean, that's not, I really wasn't sticking my neck out too far with that opinion. Fucking risk taker. Yeah. But which one ranks higher? I don't know.

I'm going to say Star Wars. A New Hope ranks higher. What do you think, Hannibal? I'm not... And so the next... Say it again? The New Hope is the sequel, right? New Hope was the very first Star Wars. Uh-huh.

Also known as... And Empire Strikes Back is like the Star Wars. Uh-huh. Also known as... And Empire Strikes Back is like the Star Wars crew goes to Cougar Town. All right, Empire Strikes Back. Star Wars is episode four, and Empire Strikes Back is episode five. Okay. Out of a six-film trilogy.

I know Empire Strikes Back, because I never even heard of New Hope. This is me. I've never seen any of the Star Wars movies, even though they have talking and violence, I've missed some of them. You can't catch them all. So I'm going with Empire Strikes Back.

Yeah, don't judge my experiences, yo. We've seen different stuff in life. Sean, what do you think? I'm going to say Empire Strikes Back. I think that's a pretty easy one, right? I'm going to start projecting. It's still too early in the day. I apologize.

I'll start projecting. Empire Strikes Back, motherfucker. That's what I think. Oh, the drinks are here. Thank you. Thank you, sweetie. Thank you so much. Tip your waitstaff, everybody.

They're working very hard. Thank you so much. No kettle one and soda for you. For bringing everybody but me drinks. No. That was great. You want to share my Fiji water? I think I ordered mine too slow. They might not have heard it.

But that's okay. I can suck on the ice. You want some of mine? No, but can you believe the size of that thing? It's crazy. You got a show tonight, right? No, I hope it's going to be a different show at the Aladdin tonight.

No refunds. No refunds You had your drink on when you showed up On my Benson interruption in Austin right Yeah That was fun you're hilarious when you're drunk For podcast stuff And short sets I have drink

But when I do my headliner shows I really don't drink right before the show. Except for tonight. Well, we got a little bit of a buffer because we're done here at 6. My show's at 8. So I got a little time to sober up. I'll do some Bikram real quick. I'm going to get it out of my system.

Now I'm going to do Bikram. I'm going to sit and text. You can knock out one of those Cougar Towns. That'll sober you up. Yeah, probably. Hook up some Cougar Towns. That'll still be a... Yeah, probably. Hook up some Cougar Town and then just... Just really... I like how the characters

interact with each other on that. It's real goofy, but it's kind of self-aware in its goofiness. Graham, what do you think? Man, the obvious choice is A New Hope. Yeah, it's so obvious that almost half the panel's gone the other way.

Oh, yeah, the cougar town and the skateboard panel? This is what we're talking about here? Again, how the fuck does that make me an idiot if I ride a skateboard? Oh, man. I don't understand the logic on this. It makes no sense. I'm sorry, the last time movie you saw was Lincoln after you broke your leg when we were working together

in Milwaukee. And that's one of the reasons why I don't like you anymore. One of the many. Graham, show them your new pants. That wins you friends. These are so good, these new pants. This is not a joke. Graham Elwood talked

for 15 minutes today at breakfast about how much he loves his new pants. Love them. They're so comfortable. 15 fucking minutes. And they were on sale.

Telling me the sale. They were in different colors. Right off the rack. I pull the tags off, I put them on, I'm on stage with them. Bam. That's fucking

how good goes down. So yeah, Star Wars and New Hope. Okay, and my guess is Kettle and Soda. Doug, I think you're the winner. And coming in at number 11 on the list is, of course, Empire Strikes

Back and in New Hope is it number 16. Hell yeah! That's what time it is. on the list is, of course, Empire Strikes Back and A New Hope. Is it number 16? Yeah, man! That's what time it is. That's what fucking time it is. This is exciting, though. I like this. Thanks for having me, though. Winning is fun.

Drinking's fun, too. Especially when all your friends are drinking. Are you pacing yourself Sam? Why are you on the water tonight? Today I guess it is only 5 o'clock Yeah I try not to do my drinking until the sun's gone down usually The sun is down in here buddy That's true

Look at the stars Alright It's a beautiful night in here Beautiful night for some kettle and soda. I could just go grab it. The next game we're going to play is called ABCD's Nuts! ABCD's nuts Since Who were the two people that said Empire?

It was Hannibal and Sean Okay so we'll start with you then Sean And then we'll go to Graham And then by the time it gets around to Hannibal He will have figured out how this game works As a new guest on the show I don't know

We are going to spell, in this particular case, since we're here, we're going to spell the word Portlandia. Portlandia. We're going to say, and we're going to start. Sean, the object of this game, Hannibal, is just when it's your turn,

you get the next letter, and you have to name any movie that starts with that letter. I already got mine ready. I already had an A picked out. If you match up with me, what I wrote down prior to the show, then you are the automatic winner of the game. Okay. And it sounds difficult,

but Colin Quinn did it. He's a legend. So anyone can. He's a goddamn legend. I often say that. Could Colin Quinn do this? I think he could. I got it. Okay, so we'll start with you, Sean. You get the letter P. Predator.

Predator is a great one, and that's correct. But I went with Pulse starring Sam Levine. Are they talking about Sam? You're the only person who's ever even referenced Pulse. I've seen it. It had Kristen Bell too, right? Yeah. Was that Pulse? Yeah.

That's the one. A little bit of Kristen Bell. Yeah, I've seen it. My only memory from that movie is how violently ill I got shooting it in Romania. That's it. I wish this was a story where we were a story. Fuck it. I wish this was a podcast where you could tell your stories

about... You get the idea. I do. The next letter to Graham is O. Ocean's Eleven. That's a very good movie to bring up for the letter O. I went with One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

Yes, because it was filmed partially in Salem, Oregon where I will be on August 8th at the Grand Theater. Nice. Nice plug. I like that. Nice job.

Come around to Sam with the letter R. Rain Man. That's a good one. I picked Rooster Cogburn, which was filmed in Bend, Oregon. Here we go, Hannibal. You get T. That's an easy one because you could, of course, just pick a movie that begins with the. Yeah.

But you might be more creative than that. Yeah, I'm very creative. All right, what do you got? Terminator. I think you mean the Terminator. Yeah. The Terminator. Or Terminator 2.

I don't think there's a the in Terminator 2, right? No, they dropped it. Toy Story. What do you mean there isn't on Terminator, the first one? Oh, you're kidding me. Oh, shit. Thank you, sir. How much?

Fuck this podcast. I'm out of here. Wow, he literally has the poster. That is impressive. I got to look this shit up. I got to double check with Leonard. It's on the poster right there. I can see the poster.

Yeah. You ever hear of Photoshop? Oh, how fucked up would that be if he sat at home and he was like, I'll bet you I'm gonna argue with Doug over the the in front of the table. I'm gonna take it off this poster. God damn it. That's my motherfucking angel over there, yo. I was prepped for Ardo anyway Next week when you come back

It's just color purple Doug Verify Sam According to Leonard Maltin The Terminator According to Leonard Maltin Posters sometimes don't say what's really actually the title There's not a seven in the name Seven. Sometimes for the art of the poster, they mess with it.

So we'll call this one a draw, my friend. It's a good battle. Good battle between two worthy opponents. Good battle between two worthy opponents. I kind of stammered a little bit because I was prepped to do an R and I was ready to just say Rango. Well, I went with, for T, I went with Twilight, of course,

because it was filmed in Portland and all around Oregon. Oh, that's awesome. And this audience seems moved about that. They seem super into it. L, Sean? I thought you were going to say son. Get real gangster.

Son. I can't stop thinking of Tom Cruise running, so I'm going to say legend. He jumps and runs in that. He does a lot of shit. And I went with a motion picture called Lafganistan Starring Graham Elwood and available What format's it available in, Graham?

You can just go to comedyfilmers.com And it's a pay what you think is fair download Pay what you think is fair? Yeah, you can get it for a penny So any chance we can get money out of you? Like send me the movie in two bucks? Yeah, yeah.

Just email me. I'll send you two dollars in the mail. You don't have to take that. No, but it was a plug. So Doug woven a plug. That was really nice. It was a nice plug. It was a nice plug.

Your letter is A. And justice for all. Oh, that's fun. Just like when we'll be at the Wow Hall April 21st, Doug, in Eugene, Oregon. What? What does Wow stand for again? Woodsmen of the World.

That's hilarious. Woodsmen of the World unite. I do like Woodsmen of the World Hall better than Wow Hall. Wow Hall sounds like we're going to be expected to dance. A. That was A. Oh, it was?

Oh, I need to say what I wrote. All right, Fonz. A. Hey, can you guys hang on a second? They're having trouble with the jukebox in the other room. No. I went with, We There Yet? Are You There Yet?

That's a more existential Ice Cube movie. No, I went with Are We There Yet? Which was filmed in Oregon. And then who's next? It's me for N. N for you. I think I'm catching on to your game, so I'm going to say Not Another Teen Movie.

You matched, motherfucker! Thank you very much. Match! I knew that was going to happen. I knew it. I'm wise to your tricks, Benson. Oh, that's fun. Because no one would have picked Pulse.

Come on! That movie's dreadful. You might have if you'd have gotten to go first. Unlikely. If you'd have been a winner in that last game, then you would have gone first, and you could have shut it down immediately. I could have.

D, Drugstore Cowboy, filmed in Oregon. I, Into the Wild, filmed in Oregon. And a little South Dakota. A, Abe Lincoln in Oregon. I, Into the Wild filmed in Oregon. And a little South Dakota. A, Abe Lincoln in Illinois filmed partially in Eugene where I will be at the Woodsman of the World Hall on April 21st. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You beat me to the plug. It was like a horrible incident at a gay sex party. Wow. I feel like I'm just laughing because I heard gay sex party, but I didn't get the rest of it. Here's another thing that might make you laugh.

A kettle and soda. That worked. It made me laugh. You're right. I'm laughing. This is going to be interesting because I'm going to stop the show until I get it. I'm going to ask for one and see if I get it quicker. Can I get a kettle and soda, please?

You sneaky bastard. You speak more on their wavelength. Them. They all skateboarders? There's some sort of other. The staff, the way they squirm in and out of here. Dark clothes. Keeping their head down.

Here comes another one. Jesus. Why are you making it so creepy? Here comes another one. Before we play the Leonard Maltin game, we have to go through a little thing called Show Us Your Name Tags! Oh, snap.

Wow. Wow. Whoa. Where's the Claritin? Oh, she's right over there. This is crazy. Sam's got allergies. Yo, this is crazy as fuck, yo.

Just in time. I'll take that tray of stuff. What's happening right now? They got a few drownies over there. Just pick any name tag you like. Maybe Terminator, Hannibal. Skulls on a stick. Terminator would be a good one for you to pick.

Okay, he's going to look around a little bit. Portland, you guys go all out for this shit. Did you know that on the D, on the Clarence, you wrote Doug on every single one of them? Oh, that's nice. Claret and Doug is what these drugs are, evidently. I love people lighting up their signs with their

phones. Portland, I am impressed. Hannibal is really... You guys came to play. That's rad. Scram is still looking too? Alright, I gotta go with this one. Georgia, she goes goes Graham hates gluten.

That's her sign. Let me see it. Pretty clever. Pretty clever. You look surprised. Hannibal's got something. Oh yeah, I saw that at Target. Yeah!

Suck that tranny cock It's Belle from What? I don't know, that's what I said Alright, alright Is that like Belle from Beauty and the Beast? It is Belle from Beauty and the Beast But it is also

It's a cup with a straw attached to it And the straw is most unfortunately placed approximately where Belle's penis would be if it were not covered by her dress. I thought it looked like a pump action emergency abortion. No. I thought it was some weird homemade bong situation happening. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't rule it out.

It looks like it could work. It's the bell of the bong. That's amazing. Sweet as hell. I love it. And her name's Denise. Yeah. It's actually

Belle got a sex change and it's Dennis with an E. So Hannibal's playing for Denise. And Sean, you took the... Yeah, I appreciate the effort of making something. The bacon. Your name isn't anywhere. I spelled it in peanut butter chips.

Oh, you did? Oh, shit. Rachel in peanut butter chips. See that? I knew what I was doing. Those chips have hash in them. Or they don't. Rachel and peanut butter chips. See that? I knew what I was doing. Those chips have hash in them. Or they don't. Does this have any...

No, I tried to get some of my mom's medical butter, but... I tried to score some for my mom. Are you in middle school? Ladies and gentlemen, only in America is medical butter a fucking thing. There's nothing in here, right? I did eat a straight up... Oh, there is bacon in here, right? It is straight up.

Oh, there is bacon in there, though. Didn't I hear there was hash? Did I accidentally do hash earlier? And that's what I heard? The bacon has crystal meth in it, but there's no weed. It's pretty good. I ordered biscuits. I want my medical butter on my biscuits.

Yeah. Because if there's weed in here, the have to... The doctor said I have to have it. Yeah. I really like the bacon in there. Good job. Thank you. There's like this shit. Oh, but now your name tag's ruined. Sorry, HL.

You don't sound sorry. And while we were waiting... What a mouthful of name tag. You got your kettle and soda. I did get my kettle and soda. It's been sitting here for a while. I just want everyone to know he's okay. No, they do a great job.

Listening at home. They do a great job here. So you're playing for Jess, Sam. Yeah. She brought the birth control pills. She brought... I guess these could be birth control. It's the worst birth control.

If you had allergies and you didn't take these, it would be very hard to do that. Or you could duct tape one of those. Claret and Doug's, ladies and gentlemen. Claret and Doug's. All right. Thank you, Sam. No problem.

You had your mouth full. I'm busy eating. Yeah, you're filling this space. I love it. You're a great sidekick. Thanks, pal. And Graham, what's the name of yours again? Georgia.

Okay. That's more zero reaction. All right, so Sam won that last game, so he gets to go first. Oh, boy. Then we'll go back in the other direction. We'll go to Graham, Sean, Hannibal Hannibal, this game is It's called the Leonard Maltin game

Because you use the Leonard Maltin movie reviews And you get clues And then He's gonna win, you know he's gonna win I just love his sense of wonder His woodsman of wonder. And you'll get the idea of it as we go along. That was the worst way to explain it.

It's hard to explain it completely, but I think you'll get the hint. It's like Name That Tune, but with actor names and movie titles instead of notes and songs. That was a good game. The reviews are in. Is Cougar Town one of the answers today, Doug? Because otherwise I don't think it's going to do very well. No, it's all right, guys. It was just a joke.

It was just a joke. Okay. So you get a big category, Sam. Okay. And you get to choose between these three. Yes. Would you like... From...

At Arnold was taken on Twitter. Suggested, Two's company, Three's a cloud atlas. And that's movies where An actor plays multiple roles Ooh Yeah

Or at YoYoDineInc suggested Are We There Nyet? And that's movies that take place in Russia Of course Probably don't have Ice Cube in them And Or children And At Spearms Of course. Probably don't have Ice Cube in them. Or children. And at Spearmz, Spearmz, S-P-E-A-R-M-Z, Spearmz wrote, suggested Back to the Fuhrer.

And that's World War II movies. Oh. That's exciting. Let's go with Back to the Fuhrer. Okay. Would you like a World War II movie from 2001

or 2001? 2001, please. You got it. Thank you. All right, here we go. Okay. From 2001. Yes.

Leonard gave this movie two and a half stars. Okay. He says about this movie that... He says it's based on a novel. Oh. And He also says that Wow Oh, that the characterizations in this film are inconsistent Mmm

Yes Hey when that happens Great clues as always As always, Doug Eight names are listed Alright So how many names do you think, Sam Levine, it will take you Great clues, as always. As always, Doug. Eight names are listed. All right. So how many names do you think, Sam Levine, it will take you to discern the name of this movie, reading from the bottom of the cast list up to the number one lead star of the motion picture?

I will say seven names. Okay. Smart opening bid. We go to Graham Elwood. I will go five. Fuck you, dude. What do you think, Sean? I don't know, man. Four? What are you shaking your head for?

Lady? You don't have any confidence in me? Four? What are you shaking your head for, lady? You don't have any confidence in me? It hurts. Okay, so, Hannibal, here's what you can do. Yeah. You can either bid less names. Okay. Which means you'll hear less names if you get challenged by Sam after you bid less.

Oh. Or you can challenge Sean and say, name that movie With the meager five names Four Calm down The second part sounds more exciting Right If you ask him to name it and he fails Then you get the point If you bid lower and then Sam

Asks you to name it Or I could continue to bid Yeah Could go either way and Sam asked you to name it, then you could potentially... Or I could continue to bid. Yeah. Could go either way. Challenge. Hell yeah, challenge. Challenge. Who the fuck do you think you are, man?

Graham, I think you're right. Hannibal is going to win today. Who the fuck do you think you are? Who do you think you are, dude? It's crazy, man. I think I'm scared. I try not to push for anything, but I think you did the right thing.

I was hoping that's what you would do. So Hannibal says name it, Sean, and would you like the clues again? No. I don't know it. And I highly doubt I will. Let me give you the four names. It might help.

Patrick Malahide was in this movie. Heidi! You're going to have to narrow it down a little bit. I'm very familiar with the entire catalog. Oh, man. Piero Maggio was in this. Irene Pappas. Don't crinkle your brow every time. Piero Maggio. Well, yeah, I know. Who's in this? Irene Pappas. Don't crinkle your brow every time.

I don't know. And David Morrissey. I don't know. Who plays the governor on Walking Dead. I just got a text, and I think it was somebody texting me what the movie is. What? I bet you that's what it is. I haven't checked it yet.

Give me your phone. Let me see it. What if it's something weird, what the movie is. What? I bet you that's what it is. I haven't checked it yet. Give me your phone. Let me see it. What if it's something weird, like I tested positive or something? You have an unprofessional doctor in it. He just sent you a plus sign in the text. Sorry, bro. A plus sign and a sad face. That's what the text is.

Is the movie HIV? Is that what it is? I don't know, man. Pearl Harbor. Just think of a World War II movie that might have come out in 2001. Pearl Harbor? No, I'm sorry. You're not sorry. The remaining names are Christian Bale, John Hurt, Pearl Harbor? No, I'm sorry. You're not sorry. The remaining names

are Christian Bale, John Hurt, Penelope Cruz, and Nicolas Cage. It's called Captain Corelli's Mandolin. Whoa. I was thinking Windtalkers. What the fuck is that? What the fuck was that? The other Nick Cage movie. Come on. Sandbagging me.

I don't need that. So Hannibal Buress is on the board, you guys. Yeah. I do this for the people. Welcome to another episode of Anyone Can Win. Honestly. You just got to believe, yo. Yes.

What year did Pearl Harbor come out? Just believe in yourself. I'm the Florida Gulf Coast of this shit, man. I don't know that most of the panel would have gotten that with all the names. It's a tough one, yeah. It's an odd title. Yes, it is.

But I'll always remember it for that very reason. Because, you know, Captain Corelli had a lot of items. That's true. Somehow the mandolin got top billing. He had a lot of items That's true Somehow the mandolin got top billing He had a zither A lute That scrapey thing

With the other little stick I didn't mean he had a lot of instruments Oh I see It could be Captain Corelli's spatula You guys still talking about that movie That you made up for this game? Okay, so since Hannibal, who was left out of that? Which way were we going?

Who's next? Graham would start us next, right? Or the other way. We're coming the other way. Sam starts it off again? It depends which way you wanted to go. Then we'll go to Sam. I mean, we'll go Sam, then to Hannibal. Okay.

Right? All right. Because he challenged. And Sam gets to pick between at Glenn Rauch, R-A-U-C-H, suggested four weddings and a funeral, and that's the films of Frank Sinatra Because he had four wives

And now he's dead That's pretty good That's one of the best categories I've ever heard That's awesome That's ridiculously good I'm halfway there That guy is my winner for today On a sad note We have a rest in peace category Oh no Very, very well done. I'm halfway there. That guy is my winner for today.

On a sad note, we have a rest in peace category. Oh, no. Just because this guy's cool. British actor Richard Griffiths died. This won't be the answer, but he was in many of the Harry Potter films. Right. And so a category dedicated to him. And then since tomorrow's Easter well not because

tomorrow's Easter but tomorrow is Easter and celebrating a birthday tomorrow is Ewan McGregor oh so the films of Ewan McGregor

his birthday isn't always on Easter because you know Easter is slippery yeah I see that. It's not locked down like Christmas. No.

Lock that shit down, Easter. I'll try Ewan McGregor movies then. Which one? Ewan McGregor. Okay. Because of Easter, Sunday, birthday. Would you like a Ewan McGregor movie from 2012 or 2006? I'm sorry.

Excuse me. Five. Five. Print is very small. I need glasses. Hannibal. Lend me your glasses. I will say 2012. That's a lot of names.

Great. I forgot which part we were at. I thought you were bidding. Keeps it interesting. You're talking about that gay sex party again? I am so cold. This movie is from 2012. Yeah.

Leonard gives it three stars. All right. Ewan McGregor is in it. Leonard calls it pleasantly whimsical. And again, this one was based on a novel. I don't know them. And he lists eight names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Sam?

There's a guy back there that says Zero. Zero. I guess he can name it Zero. We're impressed that you could do that, sir. Thanks, man. Now I'm going to say six names. Okay. So Hannibal, you can go lower, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, zero.

I mean, I can do it. Yeah. Or you could say lower, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. I mean, I can do that. Yeah, or you could say Sam, name that movie. But if you bid one lower, then there's a chance that Sean might bid lower than you. Yeah. I'm saying four. Look at me. Four.

Four names. I'm pretty sure I know what it is, but the title's throwing me off a little bit. I think. So if I get this wrong, does Hannibal win? No, because you're going to have to bid, and then Graham is the one that's going to challenge you. So Graham would get a point. So we'd still be in play. It wouldn't end the game. Okay, so if I...

Let's say I have to guess it. Graham gets the point if I get it wrong. If Graham challenges you, but Graham may take off another number. Yeah, he might, dude. I know. You don't know what he's going to do. I know. Yeah.

Loose cannon! Yeah. Screaming at me doesn't really help anything when I'm trying to concentrate. Why don't you have me come with you to the park And say hey if I go slide down this thing Will I break my leg What about that over there What if I do an ollie off of that thing over there

I'll say I'll say I'll say negative one I guess if I'm going to do it I'll try Negative one. Negative one name. Yes. Oh, wow.

I didn't want this to happen in front of you, Hannibal. Because I have to explain it now. Negative one means that Sean is saying that he can guess the name of the movie and the top billed performer in the movie. He has to get both to get it. I see that's a very intense thing to do.

The crowd was moved by it. This woman over here put her hands on her face Macaulay Culkin style and said, Jesus Christ! That's a strong move, man.

Right when I said negative one, a lady had a baby right when I said that. You missed it, though. Just a few seconds ago, I saw her putting shaving cream in her hand. Not shaving cream. What did he use? Shaving. After shave. God damn it.

After shave. Okay. Why would she need after shave? Okay, so negative one, Graham. Yeah, god damn it. Aftershave. Okay, why would she need aftershave? Okay, so negative one, Graham. Yeah, name that movie. Okay, so you need to tell me the name of the movie and don't react until we've heard both because he's got to name the top billed person in this movie. Yeah, Dome will go, Jesus Christ!

Well, what if he left the hotel and he's watching and somebody sees him and they can't just scream? Is it, okay, salmon fishing in the Yemen? And then Ewan McGregor. No? Salmon fishing in the Yemen. Is it Emily Blunt? Emily Blunt.

Fuck you, Jimmy. Yeah. Oh, man. I. Fuck you, G. Yeah. Oh, man. Unbelievable. That's terrible. So if I would have just said zero, would you have guessed negative one? Or you just didn't know it?

No, I was pretty sure it was salmon fishing in the Yemen. Okay, so the negative one is what made you not guess. Yeah. Okay. I'm still a G. I still got it. Wow. Because I didn't know who was in the two position, so that's why I didn't go negative two.

How is Emily Blunt top? That sounds to me like a Gina Davis, Tom Hanks, League of Their Own situation. Sure. That's what it sounds like to me. Yeah, someone's getting pushed. Leonard got it wrong. That's what happened. What order does it say on the

Terminator poster? I think you said Emily Blunt is first on that, too, which is weird. You do too much Photoshop, man. Alright, so Graham Elwood's on the board with one point. Oh, shit! It's a hollow point.

Who let the dogs out? Yeah, that was... I'm so happy no one... I think it was the Bahamut. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't have to get into that. I never heard of that movie a day in my life. I just think of like a day that you heard of it and then forgot it. I heard about that movie one day in my life.

Is it a good movie, though? Is it good? I know it's a good movie. Emily Blunt's on point. It's a good film. All right, we start with Sam again. I am really stinking up the joint today. Sorry. I'm really stinking up the joint today. Sorry.

Upset with myself. I call it Sam fishing in the Yemen. All right. You get to pick a category. All right. And then we'll go to Graham over there. Yes. Switch the order up.

And you get to choose between O'Rourke, like the name O'Rourke with an R at the end of it. O'Rourke on Twitter suggested Snakes on a Plane. And that's movies where Kurt Russell flies. Because Snake Plissken is on a plane. Got it. Yeah. And then there's at Ryway Clark. R-Y-way Clark suggested The Phantom Dennis.

And that's movies where Dennis Leary can be heard but not seen. Mmm. Whoa. That is rich. Damn. Oh, that's dripping. And your third option, suggested by someone on Twitter named Snitty. S-N-I-T-T-Y, Snitty.

Suggested Jeopardy. Movie starring Alex Trebek? This is Jeopardy. No, movies that have a question mark in the title. Oh. Can I see. Oh. I like the first category, Snakes on a Plane. Okay. Oh, don't be so upset.

We're still going to play. You can still guess. People are upset that I picked that category. Like the game's over. People in the audience yell out what we should be doing on stage the whole time. That's like if you're standing nearby a poker table Watching people play going

Fold! I can't see your cards I have no idea what's happening Fold! Bet it all! Really? What do you have a hunch? Three stars for this movie Sam What year? I'm getting there.

It has Kurt Russell flying in it. It's from 1996. Leonard says about this movie that there's a situation and there's also a solution. Are you sure it wasn't Hannibal Sater that made it about that movie? You know what else there is, Doug?

There's a bit of negative one. He says it has a misfired reel. That's all right. And he lists the final reel is misfired. That's what I meant to say.

And he lists eight, nine, ten, thirteen names. Negative one. I know you keep saying that, but let me finish the process. I'm going to tell you how many names there are. Alex is finished saying the thing.

All right. Negative one says Sam, Levine, Graham, Elwood. God damn it. You guys should be looking at each other. There's a long time rivalry between these two. Serious rivalry between the two of them. It's called a prison stare, dude.

Mad dog. All right. Graham, I know you know what the movie is. There's no possible way you could have any. I have no idea what the second name could possibly be. There's so many. Is there a negative two that you could do? That's what Graham could do.

Yeah, it's on Graham. It's on Graham right now. What does that mean? It means you're probably not going to what Graham could do, yeah. It's on Graham. It's on Graham right now. And what does that mean? It means you're not... You're probably not going to gain a point or lose one. I mean, I've got inklings, Graham, but... You're just sitting there helplessly while Graham thinks.

Graham, just remember, if I get it wrong, you win the game. If I get it right, the game continues. Wow. That's a... He's a pushy contestant. Yeah. No, I'm just... I wanted to make sure

Hannibal knew how the game worked. I'd love to see you on Jeopardy. Hey, you shouldn't bid too much in Final Jeopardy because...

Don't bet so much. If you bet that much... I'm gonna bid it all. Do you know how aggravated I get watching Jeopardy and watching people fuck up Final Jeopardy bids?

I can imagine. It's one of the most aggravating things. Because let me tell you how it works on Jeopardy very quickly while Graham ruminates over this. Producers literally walk up to you when they go to that commercial break and tell you the amounts you need to bet if you're the guy in the lead or if you're in second place, like what you should bet to box out the third place guy. And then people still fuck it up. They're under a lot of pressure, Sam. Oh my God. What do you say, Graham?

Well, I'm either giving a point to Sam or to Sean. So I'll go. Oh, interesting. Playboy, I gave you one earlier. How magnanimous of you Or I could fucking negative three it Yeah he could That Hannibal would win That'd be

That was rude That was uncalled for Oh was that was I being dissed No no Let's make it funny Sean Sam that was a great tidbit about Jeopardy I appreciate it Thanks man Oh, was I being dissed? No, no. No, no. I was. Let's make it funny, Sean. Okay. Sam, that was a great tidbit about Jeopardy.

I appreciate it. Thanks, man. Thanks, Animal. Thought you guys should know that. All right, I'm going to wager that Sam doesn't know what this is. Name that movie. Yeah. Okay, so you got to name the movie and the top billed performer in it.

Gosh, I sure hope I'm right. Otherwise, Grandma was the winner. Is it Executive Decision starring one Kurt Russell? That's correct. Yes! Who's number two?

Gotta be Halle Berry? Who's number two, Halle Berry or Steven Seagal? Steven Seagal to be Halle Berry? Yeah, who's in the two position? Number two, Halle Berry? Or Steven Seagal? Steven Seagal, then Halle Berry. Steven Seagal was built higher than Halle Berry? Yeah. Oliver Platt. I did not know it was the two position. Joe Morton.

The two is two, because I went on Halle Berry. I would have said negative two, and he probably would have said name it, and then he would have got a point. Yeah. So I just figured out where to spread the points around. God damn it. Damn. All I could think of-

We're still in it. All I could think of was Con still in it All I could think of Was Con Air Was he even in that? Nicolas Cage looked like him He had that weird hair And a wife beater Which I could see I could see Kurt Russell

Just in a wife beater All the time Like if I was real drunk I'd be like Yeah it's Kurt Russell What are you talking about? Fuck out of my face That's not Kurt Russell yeah, it's Kurt Russell. What are you talking about? Fuck out of my face. That's not Kurt Russell.

I know it's Kurt Russell. So, Graham, just real quick. You decided to give the point to Sam rather than Sean? Well, I took, I took, I was taking a gamble that maybe Sam was over, because I was like, it's probably executive decision, but I was like, unless you're going to throw in, because you, that curveball with that fucking Mr. Wumples fucking movie or whatever you had in there that none of us knew

I was like did you pick some obscure Mr. Wumples? He's talking about Captain Corelli's mandolin This is a long explanation for a yes or no question It sounds like you're trying to lie Yeah Captain Corelli's that thing threw me so I was like did he pick another fucking obscure movie and then Sam is going to be wrong and I'm going to win?

So I was taking a chance on getting a second point. Instead, I picked Executive Decision, one of the greatest films. One of the most memorable works of cinema. That's like faking a knee injury at the Super Bowl. You have stopped nothing. All right, so that was an interesting strategy. It might lead to Sam winning everything.

Nah. I'm not confident in a four-man panel. I'm excited about Sean making a big comeback here and getting us into a four-way tie situation. I really want to see it happen. But what happened on that last one? Graham gets to pick. Oh, no, not Graham.

Sean gets to pick the next category. Because Graham challenged you. Graham challenged me. Okay, Sean, then Graham, then Sam, and maybe Hannibal. Sorry you're getting boxed out, buddy. I'm fine with it. Okay. You want more Jeopardy tidbits.

That was really good. I was always wondering, do they do the math right there? And that's a good thing that they just give them the... They tell them what to do. You don't want to be doing math and shit when you try to think of presidential trivia. No. Where they don't help you is with the daily double amounts

to bet. That they think of on the fly. And that's even more infuriating to watch people. Like, there's eight questions left. You're going to put it in a position where he's got to answer every single question right? It's like people don't. They don't think enough. God, I watch Jeopardy every day.

Were you on Team Jeopardy? I was not. My father was on actual Jeopardy when I was a kid. Are you one of the types, even if you're at home by yourself, you say the answer out loud? Sometimes. If it's so obvious, I don't waste the vocal power.

Right. Yeah, you just sit there with that Sam face on. I just sit there and I go, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yep. I knew it was matchsticks. I knew it. Just me in a bag of Sour Patch Exploders, a little Alex Trebek, and a a Daily Double I'm a happy man

Sean Jordan Would you like Not for a Metaphobes And that's movies with copious amounts of vomiting Or Some Assembly Required And that's a movie that has two or more of the Avengers in it. The actors who currently play the Avengers.

And, you know, by Avengers, I do not mean Sean Connery and Uma Thurman. No. Oh, it would be so amazing if that were the secret of this category. Sean Connery was the bad guy. Who was the... Ralph Fiennes. Oh, Ralph Fiennes was...

Ralph Fiennes. Wasn't Ethan Hawking that? No. What are you guys talking about? I never saw it. I don't even know what you're talking about. Okay, be quiet. Or, this is a category I love to bring out when we've got some solid players, the asparagus

pea category. That is where... That was suggested by a gentleman named Asparagus Pea on Twitter. Get out of town. And that is where I read the entire review And then the bidding begins So theoretically everyone knows The name of the movie at that point

And then it's just a game of who can get The most negative names Let's do that I've never heard you do that before It's fun Shit just got real Portland You're gonna love this I've never heard you do that before. It's fun. I don't know. Shit just got real Portland. I didn't mean to. Yeah. You're going to love this.

I just like being called a solid player. I assume I'm one of them. So thank you. I appreciate it. All right. So I'm going to tell you how many names there are first. That'll be fun. I'm going to say bless you to the person in the audience who could... Where's the clarinet?

Here's the clarinet. I remember your shithead. Don't worry about it. Oh, you wrote a shithead on the back? It's alright. I got it, bro. Okay, he's got it. I already got it. 13 names. And it's from 1980. And Leonard gives this movie four stars.

What category did he go with? This is full review. Read the whole thing. All right. I'm going to read the whole review, Graham. 1980. And then the bidding starts with Sean and then goes to you, Graham. And the year is 1980.

Smashing sequel to Star Wars. Manages to top the original in its establishment of leading characters' personalities, truly dazzling special effects, and nonstop spirit of adventure and excitement. Story threads include a blossoming romance between Han Solo and Princess Leia,

the cosmic education of Luke Skywalker by the mystical Yoda, an uneasy alliance with opportunistic Lando Calrissian, and a startling revelation from Darth Vader. This review is spoilery. Is the last word, don't go see it?

Yeah. 1997 reissue included three minutes of additional footage. Full title on screen is Star Wars Episode V, The Empire Strikes Back. Oh, Doug! What year again? The sequel is called Return of the Jedi. How many names?

What was the year? Huh? Oh, man. Negative one, I guess. Negative one? Yeah. Okay. It was a handle, but a grand.

What's up, punk? Why is it so quiet? This is the one time you guys don't tell him what the movie is? There's nothing to say. Negative three. Oh, he says three. He said that like he's not sure. Now Sam is in a position.

Give me a point. Sam is in quite the position. Give me a point. What? If Sam, if Graham has to go and he gets it wrong, I get the point, right? You don't get shit. You're out of it. Huh?

Oh, shit. I thought I... I always think it goes backwards. Yeah, I know. There's a nice way to say that, but... You get all those Rice Krispie treats with bacon. Goddamn right I get this bakey thing that I get. Well, Graham, here's the position I'm in.

If I say name the flim and you do, you're going to win. If I say name the flim and you don't, I win, but I don't like winning that way. It's a hollow victory. I think it's a hollow victory. So negative four. So you're going to bid four names? Oh! And this way, I'm going to give our dear friend

who's never played the game, Hannibal Perez, a chance to win the Leonard Walton game the very first time he plays. Yeah, because how... I don't want to win that way. Yeah. Say it.

Yes! Yes! Say it, because then I get a point. Because if you bid five, you'll say name it and then we'll have a four-way tie because you won't be able to name it. Unless Yoda counts as a real actor.

Negative six. Pandemonium, Portland! Pandemonium, Portland! Pandemonium! Negatives. That was real gangster right there. That was real gangster. And I had it all worked out. That was real cold-blooded.

What did I just say? What does that mean? What does that mean? So, Hannibal, I'm going to go ahead and say name that movie and the six people. Go for it. The six people. So, we just need, starting from the top. Wait, first you have to name the movie, Doug.

No. Yeah, read the description. We've established it. We've established it's the Empire Strikes Back. All right. Star Wars Empire Strikes Back is the movie. Yeah. Yeah.

So, now. Do I have to name them in order of billing? Who's the top person who got top billing? We'll go one at a time until you can't do it anymore. Because you've got to get to six of them. I couldn't even name six people in the movie. Seems like kind of a foregone conclusion. I'm out of the game.

I don't care what you are. Jesus. I don't fall for those Jedi tricks. You can't give me a Jedi mind meld. A good try, Obama. I have no say in this, so what I know means nothing. Who's

the top-billed person in Star Wars? James Earl Jones. That's incorrect. It's Mark Hamill. Hamill Ford Fisher's Mark Hamill. Hamill, Ford, Fisher, Jones? Hamill, Ford, Fisher, Billy Dee Williams. Graham, you would have won. Yeah, then fucking C-3PO. Shit gets crazy.

Then just the guy in the Darth Vader costume. David Prowse. Yeah. He was in A Clockwork Orange. Then the guy in the Chewbacca costume. Peter Mayhew. Then the guy in the R2-D2 costume. Billy Barty.

Then the guy, I'll take it. Then the guy, that was Kenny Baker. Then the guy who's the voice of Yoda. Frank Oz. Yeah. Then the guy who's in that old man costume as Obi-Wan Kenobi. Johnny Knox Oz. Yeah. Then the guy who's in that old man costume as Obi-Wan Kenobi. Johnny Knoxville. Yeah.

Should have gone negative 11. We've got a four-way tie on our hands. Yeah. Denise. We got six minutes to settle this shit. And then once we're done today, Graham is going to

have his stuff out in the lobby and of course I'll hang out in the lobby for pictures and autographs and whatever you want to do not whatever you want to do, but you know what I mean and hopefully the other fellas can stick around but I know people have other obligations and shows to do and stuff but let's play one last round of Leonard Maltin to decide this thing.

This is it, guys. You got the maximum amount of rounds possible. Yeah. And so since Sean just challenged Hannibal, we'll start with Graham. Graham. Graham and go to Sam, right? Yep. Because it was going.

Oh, no. Go to. Yeah. It was coming this way It was already coming at you just now Oh no it was going the other way Yeah yeah yeah so we go to Sean Okay

So wait Sean picks it or I pick it You pick and then it's gonna go to Sean Sean's going gross protocol Yeah dude I have never been this cold Indoors. I am directly under my hands. I just threw my hood on him to get in his mind.

Like that. Sucking him out. Okay, Sam is cold, you guys. I'm so cold. I realize I haven't really seen a lot of movies. This can be a very introspective podcast. The guests can come on and it really opens their eyes

to what they've been doing with their lives. I've seen it. Okay, Graham. We've got someone called 70 Meters, all spelled out on Twitter, suggested greatest movie ever bowled. Bowled.

So that's movies that have bowling in them. Recently celebrating a birthday on March 9th was a young man named Emmanuel Lewis. And even though his birthday has passed, I've kept the category in because I love it so much. The films of Emmanuel Lewis. And then your third option is called Wreck-It Ralph, and that's Bombs starring Ralph Macchio.

Man, that was great. That was really good. That's another. That's been three really good category names. Like, they're all good, but there's been three in here that are fucking just... I'm going to go bowling. All right, later, dude.

I think you should stay and finish the game. And you get to pick which bowling movie you want from 1998 or 1996. Ooh. Ooh. 98. What are you bummed about people are bummed by every decision we make up here I heard somebody go yes two and a half stars from Leonard

for this movie okay 96 from 1998 he says that Okay, 96. From 1998. He says that, you know, that... He says that it's a most agreeable cast. And he says that one actor is as standout as Jesus. And he lists 13 names. What year?

And the year is 1998. All right, let's go big. Negative two. See? Loves the pants. Loves the pants. Easy, Steven Tyler. I didn't say my answer yet.

For the listeners, Graham just put his foot on the table. And it was glorious. That's all it takes to get a rise out of him. Yeah. Sean. Name it. Boo. All right.

Oh, fuck off. Someone's going to win on this one, so I'd like it to be me if he doesn't know it. I might not know it. Why play a game if you don't want to win the game? It's fun until it comes down to winning. I want to fucking win the game, so I hope. Swing out, man.

I love it. I'm going to say Big Lebowski. It's Jeff Bridges and John Goodman. That is correct. Who's next? Julianne Moore? Julianne Moore was third. Steve Buscemi has put back up on the table.

Peter Stormare. Peter Stormare. I would have messed it up. I would have messed up those names. Anyway, he did it. Let's hear it we're going to go five. I would have messed it up. I would have messed up those names. Late David Huston. Anyway, he did it. Let's hear it for him. Graham Elwood.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to say that? No, you won. So you don't get a name of shithead. Sam, who were you playing for? I was playing for Jess, but I got her. Oh, you got it. Here, write it down for me.

Oh, no, there you go. He's bringing it back. Okay, cool. Thanks, dude. Did you take one? He got her. Oh, you got it. Here, write it down for me. Oh, no, there you go. He's bringing it back. Okay, cool. Thanks, dude. Did you take one? He took one. Wow. Two of them.

He took two of them. Those expired in like 2004. Oh, I can read it still. I can read it. That makes it incidental. If they expired in 2004, they're not going to stop him from having a baby. How does Leonard Maltin give that movie two and a half stars? That's my question.

I know. Crazy, right? Okay, look. Have you met Leonard Maltin? No, I haven't. The man is not like nudity, drug use. Come up here. We need a shithead from you. Oh, it is.

Oh, wow. Crazy. It's a lot of words, right? Okay, I got it. And yours is on a card? That's a lot of words, right? Okay, okay, I got it. And yours is on a card? Yours is on a card? That's very considerate. The girl's name is Rachel, but I'm playing for her.

Okay. And Rachel cannot spell. Huh? That's what... I'm going to read what she wrote, not what she thinks she wrote. Don't listen to him, Rachel. You're a winner. You know how to bake. Are you pointing at your husband Is this his fault

Okay well he can't spell Where is Georgia's right there There you go Congratulations Georgia You get a bag of my laundry And you know As always

Thank you guys Portland is always a fun place To do these shows And we really appreciate you coming out And, you know, as always, thank you guys. Portland is always a fun place to do these shows. And we really appreciate you coming out. And one more time for all of my guests, Sam Levine, Hannibal Buress, Sean Jordan, Graham Elwood. Thank you so much! Wait, wait, wait. Wait, you guys.

Quick plugs. Anybody got plugs? Yeah. Quick plugs. Anybody got plugs? Yeah, I will be headlining the improv in Hollywood April 12th, Hollywood, California, and all my tour dates are at GrahamElwood.com, as is my podcast, Comedy Film Nerds. And Sean Jordan, what do you got plugged? Bridgetown Comedy Festival, April 18th through the 21st. It's going to be fucking awesome.

It's all over the Hawthorne strip, so go. It's going to's gonna be fucking sick it always is so it'll be really really really really really really fun yeah yeah hannibal what do you got coming up besides the latin theater tonight the latin theater tonight sold out but i think we released some more tickets and uh then i'll be in Indianapolis and Cincinnati and St. Louis, April 11th, 12th, and 13th. So check it out. HannibalBurns.com. Cool. Virginia Beach in May. And just hanging out.

Sam, what's going on? You can see me on Kevin Pollak's chat show every Sunday. We're back with new episodes April 15th our guest will be Paul Feig and if you have any interest in seeing the rest of the episodes of my cancelled show do no harm move to England where the BBC will be airing them all

thank you move to England and I've got shows coming up in San Diego, Seattle, San Francisco Move to England. And I've got shows coming up in San Diego, Seattle, San Francisco. I'm only playing cities that begin with the letter S from now on. And all of my dates are at douglosmovies.com. Saskatoon.

Yeah. And as always, Avril Lavigne is a shithead. Doesn't even know how to spell Lavigne. People who told me Oz Great and Powerful was a good movie

is a shithead. And hipster stripers are a shithead. Thank you.