Doug Loves Movies - Howard Kremer, Samm Levine, and Chris Hardwick Guest

Episode Date: March 7, 2013

Doug welcomes Howard Kremer, Samm Levine, and returning Leonard Maltin Game winner Chris Hardwick to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, skinny seats With 50 azotop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug loves movies Hey everybody, my name is Doug, and I love movies no matter how much they hurt me. This is Doug Has Unrequited Love for Movies

coming to you from the UCB Theater on Tuesday, March 5th to Ocean's 13. I love that anybody laughs at that. Let me see your name tags, you guys. Let's see them early. Yeah, I know you weren't ready for this,

but I just want to take a second to point out some of the good ones in the crowd and talk about how much I appreciate you guys bringing them. Because when I say to the comics, pick a name tag, they all start running around yelling. So I can't convey to people that there's someone in the front row

with a Channing Twaddam sign. Like, that has to go mentioned. There's someone else with a gentleman brought his Comic-Con badge. I'm not going to get close enough to you, Bill, to read your name on it. This fellow has an L.A. sexy singles massage newspaper. But where's your name on there? Yeah, that's what I was gonna say you know it's not just hold up anything that you just found on the street what's that

crazy creature up there it's stegosaurus what's your name Oh source no it isn't Jen okay stegosaurus was that like in land before time was, Stegosaurus. Was that like in Land Before Time? Was there a Stegosaurus named Jen? Because that would make sense. And what's the dude next to you holding up? A chalice. Is your name Chalice? No, it's Goblet.

All right, well, thank you very much. You're bringing the lights down again. Good luck, everybody. Three of you are going to be chosen, and the rest of you are not going to have to walk around carrying this heavy bag full of crap. Since last I spoke, could you listen?

I went on the 311 cruise, and it was the best four days that I've ever spent not watching movies. I didn't see a single movie the entire time because they didn't have any on the cruise. They had some on the TV, but I didn't want to sit in the entire time because they didn't have any on the cruise. They had some on the TV, but I didn't want to sit in my room and watch Along Came Cal Poly.

I almost said Along Came Cal Poly. It's about this guy. He gets a new friend and it's a school. It was great hanging out with past and future guests Graham Ellwood and future guest Tom Green, who I met on the cruise,

and all of the guys in 311 and all of their fans. Washi washi! That's a little inside reference for the cruisers. Can't wait for the next one. They're not doing one next year, so the next one will be in Two Oceans 15. See, that time it sort of deserved a laugh. See, that time it sort of deserved a laugh. Speaking of Graham Elwood, I'm bringing him to the state of Denver this Saturday for a 420 stand-up show at Comedy Works in downtown Denver,

and we'll be joined by two other terrific guests for a Douglas Movies taping on Sunday at 420. Atlanta, Georgia, same drill, different dates, March 23rd and 24th at the Punchline. And don't forget that the greatest movie ever rolled will be available at chill.com on Monday, March 11th. But you can preorder it. Until then, for just $6.40, it's got the aforementioned Graham Elwood and appearances by Douglas Movies faves Greg Proops and T.J. Miller. Now it's time for Not For Emetophobes.

According to Jim Gleason on Twitter, 21 and Over is Not For Emetophobes, and they show it in slow motion. So you've been warned. This has been Not For Emetophobes. L.A. Friends. L.A. Friends. I'll be on Kevin and Bean's April Foolishness show at the Gibson Amphitheater on April 6th with Past and Future.

Every other person they booked in the show has been on Doug Lo's movies. Ari Shafir, Brad Williams, Bill Burr, Jay Moore, Rob Delaney and me. It will sell out fast so I don't know why I mentioned it. The prize bag has lots of crazy goodness in it so let's just bring out the guys

that brought all this stuff for the prize bag. Please welcome Howard Kramer, returning winner Chris Hardwick and Sam the Ma'am Levine aka Lil Wolverine is here.

The winning chair. I've won every week in that chair, you motherfucker. Sam Levine. I have to do it because I'm short. It's the only way I can see everyone on stage. Sam, you take competition to another level. No, I did not. Chris Hartwick lunged.

You were here last week, saw that that was his seat. I have no recollection. I have no recollection of that. You don't remember heckling from the side of the... All I remember was heckling last week, and when I listened to it again, I did not realize it came out as such a loud bark. I thought it was more of a,

how could you guys not get their will-be blood? See, that sounded like barking to me. In actuality, it was like, their will-be blood! God damn it! Let's not quibble over the size of the dog that made that noise during the show. Let's just point out that when he lunged for the chair, you didn't let him have it.

Well, I don't respect lunging. Chris, would you like to change chairs, I don't respect lunging. Chris, would you like to change chairs? He doesn't respect lunging. No, it's okay. You're going to fucking win tonight. No, I'm not. That is not true. Isn't it true, Chris, you're going to be on the new Celebrity Lunging?

I'm going to be on Celebrity Lunging. It's going to be me and Alan Thicke and Shalom Harlow. That is a reference. Nice pull. Yeah, that was a good one. That was back on the MTV days

when Howard and I were running around the music town. Howard Kramer is here, you guys. That was a lot of fun, huh? Those were the days. We did an RV photo shoot in Silver Lake. We did. We did. We did a jeans campaign.

My show and his show and a couple, like, Real World and a couple other shows. Yeah, they were like big boxy jeans, and they put us in them and shot us in Silver Lake. For most of the people here in Doug's audience, MTV was a channel that at one time played short films set to popular music. It was like Vivo, but on television. It was like Vine, but the beta, beta, beta, beta, beta version. Some long-ass Vines.

Yeah. Finally, it's been perfected. I brought, as I always do, a copy of Smug Life, and as I occasionally do, some 311 swag. I brought, as I always do, a copy of Smug Life, and as I occasionally do, some 311 swag. I got a 311 LA shirt that's too small for me, so I'm going to pay that forward.

And also from the Traverse City Comedy Festival, I got some gloves that are called Baba Zuzu. And it says everyone is unique. And that's not what I'm looking for in a glove, I want to that look the same and feel the same I love that that's such a marketing some guy was like you know the problem with gloves is that one's like the other one here at Baba Zuzu's every glove is different why

aren't more people just wearing two different colored tennis shoes like cut the shoes the colors are getting so crazy. Why are they still bothering to have them match up? Howard. That one was for you. Must be the influence of a Baba Zuzu. What did you bring to give away today?

I didn't want to lose this. This is good things coming small packages. He's not only reaching into his pocket. You know that tiny pocket you don't put anything into in the front of your jeans? That's what the prize is coming from. Did you bring a baby sock? Listen, the gift is not what's important.

What's important is to know that you too should utilize the baby pocket. You know what's good for the baby pocket? Those Listerine pocket strips. It's true. That's very true. You're looking good, Howard. Oh, he's good for the baby pocket? Those Listerine pocket strips. It's true. That's very true. You're looking good, Howard. Oh, he's not kidding.

Did you shove a baby? Wow. I expect a fucking box of these from the Listerine people now. Yeah, because they're probably having trouble moving the idea of fresh breath. Yeah. Because people are like, I always lose these things. The jeans watch pocket. Sam Levine mentioned us a podcast

and our sales went through the roof. Through the roof. Everybody needed something that could fit in a Sam Levine-sized jean. They don't sell baby pocket strips yet. But most of your listeners have, they need fresh breath, as it turns out. You should keep a rubber in there, Tiger,

just in case you meet a lucky lady who's ready to go at any minute. You can't put a Listerine breast strip on your dick. That's not going to prevent pregnancy. Please, Chris, I don't use condoms. What is it, Howard, that you brought? Yeah, okay. This is a pebble.

It is no ordinary pebble. It is a pebble from... You got it! The driveway of Mr. Bruce Springsteen. There it is. That is... If you hold it up to your ear,

does it play Born to Run? Is it like a seashell? Yes. If you hold it up to your ear, you might accidentally put it in your ear. It'll never be seen again. He could hear Sandy coming when he put that to his ear. I have family in the area, guys. It brought everybody closer together in the long run.

So I applaud it. That's pretty incredible. How many of those did you get? I have a Ziploc baggie. I would say it's got about 60, 60-odd. So it's going to take you a while to unload all of them. Yeah. That's why a guy in the audience already knew what it was.

Two years of podcast appearances right there. Chris always brings a lot of... Chris Hardwick's here, you guys. And he always... Returning Leonard Maltin winner three weeks now yeah three weeks

three Pete guy just yelled it's not gonna it's not gonna keep happening is that you Blackwood? hey man it's not gonna keep happening but thank you for your

thank you for your support so I was teasing you about doing cloud work last week but now you brought somebody I didn't bring Matt Matt was here you brought somebody

to talk to the audience I've performed here many times I I know a lot of people. Matt performs at Meltdown Theater. I know people in this town. Blackwood? Just the way you said it. Is that you, Blackwood? Yeah. Has the mission commenced, Blackwood?

It was code for that's his actual last name. So if our names are codes, then sure. Hardwick, listen up. You brought a Nerdist sticker. I did. You brought an angry bird on a keychain. I did. And you brought

astronaut ice cream. I did bring astronaut ice cream. Astronauts seem to have fun. I also brought some clothing. T-shirts and clothing. Yeah, you brought a legendary entertainment zip-up hoodie. I brought Johnny Cupcake sent me a bunch of T-shirts and that one was too big.

This is from the Google Campus. It's a YouTube T-shirt from the Google Campus in Northern California. You can only get it there. So a lot of fun stuff. A prize package worth $32. You nailed it. And then Sam Levine brought his typical garbage.

Yes! He brought bar brawls caught on tape. Out of the package too, right? Yeah, and he wrote on it, I was cut out of this movie too. I was. And he brought

backyard fight clubs Yeah That's right That's volume two And what did you write on this one? I wrote this is way better than volume one Oh okay Trust me

Someone's gonna get the weirdest collection of stuff Yeah this is like When we go somewhere and get a gift bag It's full of a bunch of stuff you just sort of of pick through it and go, I'll keep this. I'll pay this forward to someone else. I think I just want to stare at a piece of Springsteen's driveway while eating astronaut ice cream and enjoying backyard brawls. Hey, can I say something? Not that this is a competition, but this is something that I would want.

Why are you going to win this? This isn't something you're getting rid of. This is something that you're happy to own. I would keep in my home, yeah. And you have plenty more for yourself. How many are you going to keep ultimately? You can keep like 12 of them? Well, what it is is I have family in the neighborhood there.

They live down the street, so I could always get a new ship. Oh, you could replenish. Dude, why don't you just make like 70s pebble art and make Bruce Springsteen doing this out of pebbles from his driveway. Whoa. Come on. Wait a minute. When people give you ideas like that,

usually go like, that's awful. But you know how to make ideas. That's a great idea. From him, yes, it's a viable idea. Frame it. You know, that would be nice. Yes, thank you. All right, we'll do it.

We'll talk. We'll settle the belt down now Howard of course hosts the popular podcast Who Charted that's right with Kulop

Kulop Kulop couldn't be here she says hi hi Kulop and just I'm just gonna quiz you because you always know

what's at the top of the charts right what's the number one movie right now Oz is that Oz the Powerful no that opens Friday what's at the top of the charts. What's the number one movie right now? Oz? Is that Oz the Powerful?

No, that opens Friday and it certainly will be the number one movie. So you're kind of a prognosticator. It's something like that. It is very similar. I was overloaded by the Oscars so I kind of didn't pay attention this week. That's fair. Danny, do any of you know?

It's probably Jack the Giant Slayer. There you go. That's it. If any of you know, it's probably Jack the Giant Slayer. There you go. That's it. That's correct. Okay, so Chris is our winner once again. Thanks for coming, Howard. This was really fun. I'll see you next Tuesday.

You really gave it a good shot. Wait, did I really lose the whole game? No, no. That wasn't a game at all, really. I just wanted to bring up a current movie that probably none of us have seen. I have not seen it. I haven't seen it. But I haven't really seen anything.

Why see anything until mid-March? Burt Wonderstone might be the first. Or the Oz movie might be good. I did see Burt Wonderstone, actually. Already? Yeah, it was fun. Did we talk about that already? No. Didn't talk about it last week?

No, I just saw it a couple days ago. It was enjoyable. Sounds like it's got quotes around it. I'm gunning for Maltin's job. It worked for me. I'm very excited about it, because I think people being magicians is... Written by my cohort's John Daly. Oh, John wrote that?

Yeah, with his partner, Jonathan Goldstein. Holy shit, I didn't realize that. There you go. Yeah, it's a fun movie. Everyone's great in it. Alan Arkin's great in it. Jim Carrey's great in it. Carell.

Prolific. I heard you, Sam. I was saying it a second time for effect. I liked you better when you were just in the audience. Me too. Barking. The pressure is on up here. You're a prolific user of the word prolific.

Junk hard dog. It turns out. That should have gotten a better reaction, but I'm glad you appreciated it. I just like the massage that goes with it. There's not enough of that in a roast

where you just walk over and give somebody When I tease someone sometimes I'll grab their shoulder to let them know like I don't mean this but I mean friends.

Completely out of love. Yeah. So have you been so you saw Wonderstone and you give it a thumbs up. What have you seen Sam? I saw the 1966 or 7 movie Blow Up the other day. Huh.

Yeah. That's real fascinating to everyone here. Just needed something to jerk off to? What was the deal? There is not nearly as much to jerk off to in that movie as you would hope. Yeah, with the word blow in it? Are you kidding me? Yeah.

Have you seen it? It's really... Talk about a debatable movie. It is... No, it's basically... It may or may not be a movie? No. Actually, yeah, it may or may not be a movie.

This story is really not linear. There's not a lot going on. If you like... These are the reasons I haven't seen it. Yeah, no, it's very mod. It's very 60s. It's very... French? No, it was Italian. Yeah, no, it's very mod. It's very 60s. It's very... French?

No, it was Italian. Italian, sorry. Apologies to the Italians. English language film. And here's the one great part. A very young Vanessa Redgrave is in it. Oh, okay. And she's really cute.

And she runs around topless for a few minutes. You don't see much of them. Didn't they remake it? They did with Travolta. Blow Out. Blow Out, yeah. Oh, okay. It was the remake it? They did with Travolta, Blowout. Blowout, yeah. Oh, okay. It was the remake of that, essentially,

but Blowout is like, that's a story... It really tells a story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. This is not so much that. If you like stories with beginning, middles, and ends, do not watch Blowout. Okay. And Howard, you said you had to...

The Oscars were overwhelming. Did you actually see some of the Oscar-nominated films? Yes. I saw Argo. Yeah? Yeah. Did you like that? I thought that the chase didn't happen at the end.

In real life. Right. Most of that movie did not happen in real life. Didn't happen. As it turns out. Yeah. That's why it's a movie. Right.

Not a documentary. I thought it was like a biopic without an ending so they put a chase on it. That's me. I like Django a lot more. I like Django. I thought that should have been... I was pleased for both of its Oscar wins.

I had family in town. My sister, brother, and nephews. And they wanted to go to the New Beverly last Friday night. And it was a double feature of Django Unchained and Mandingo. Oh. I said, it's Mandingo. It's pronounced Man-jing-go for some reason. Sorry.

Man-jang-go. Yes, I said, you sure you want to go? And they go, yeah yeah it'll be fun and then we got there I took a picture of them outside under the sign that said Mandingo

and I I remembered it being pretty racy but then when it started it said this movie is rated X yeah and the little nephews

were there so I leaned over looked at my sister and started laughing and proceeded to watch Mandingo it's not much more violent or racy though than than Django right and started laughing and proceeded to watch Man Bingo.

It's not much more violent or racy though than Django, right? No, but it's at the slower 70. It's like at the pace that... Sure, lingers on everything for way too long. So when things get uncomfortable, they stay uncomfortable.

That's a great tagline for a movie so yeah there's a scene where the slave master has rheumatism and the thought is that if you put your feet onto a slave boy's stomach

the rheumatism will drain out through the bottom of your feet into the slave's stomach so that was the scene we walked out on. He was laying in bed, and there was a little placid boy staring at him, happy to drain his disease. But you sat through all of Django first,

and then part of Mandingo. No, Django was second. So you didn't even see any of Django? No, we did about 20 of Mandingo, and then hit the Grove for some cupcakes. Did you pay for the double feature? My brother-in-law did. It was $9.75, yeah.

So $9.75. Best deal in town. Yeah. 20 minutes. Gotta love the new Beverly. Yeah. All right, you guys. This is the part of the show where I say...

Let the games begin. Oh, boy! No, you Let the games begin. Oh, boy! No, you let your games begin. I'll show you some games. Oh, I enjoy games. Do you have Connect Four? Pretty sneaky, sis. No, but I do have Jango,

the D. Is it unchained? I like my Jango's unchained. First, we're going to play ABCD's Nuts. And in honor of Sam the ma'am, we are going to spell out Lil' Wolverine. Yeah. You got the Lil' Wolverine haircut coming in a little bit. I did it just for you. Oh, thank you.

That doesn't creep me out at all. When they come out, does it hurt? Every time. Thank you. We'll start with Howard. And basically, Howard, all you got to do is when we get to you, as we go around, I'll say a letter, and then you name the first movie

you can think of that starts with that letter. If you match me, you win automatically. If you don't, name a movie within a few seconds, you're out. Okay. Yeah. It's pretty easy, I think. So we'll start with the letter L. Lost World.

Parentheses. Indiana Jones and the Or You saved it I thought you were gonna get it wrong But then Right? Yeah Okay

I went with Lady Sings the Blues, so you're close. Chris, your first letter is I. I spit on your grave. Oh, that's a nice one. Thank you, sort of. I wrote down Into the Night, that John Landis movie. Not a match. Yes.

L, Sam. Little Children. Okay. I see where your head's at. Did you get a local swimming pool to vacate? Rapidly? Recently? I was just thinking about my pocket-sized jeans

with little stream packs on them. I went with the most least reason for a movie to exist of all time called Larry Crown. Right? It was like a TV movie starring Tom Hanks and

what's her name? And nobody dies or anything. Nothing happens. They go to community college. Does someone have to die in a movie for it to be a movie? Well, just something should happen. Some sort of conflict. W, Howard. Warhorse.

What? Warhorse. Warhorse. Yes, Warhorse starts with a W. I picked the Where the Buffalo Roam with Bill Murray. Oh, Nick. I mean, Nick. Nobody named Nick.

Hi, my name is Nick. I just popped up for no reason. Chris? Oh? Oh, brother, where art thou Okay October Sky Sam This game is going great Little Big League Looper

V For you Howard And you can't do the German version Of War Horse Howard and you can't do the German version of warhorse very dangerous things do you think dangerous and bad or similar my out kind of yeah you sort of you sort of been out the whole time. You've kind of been ghost playing. Okay. Chris, E.

E? Mm-hmm. Enter the Dragon. Okay. I went Easy Rider. Did I say I went Victory on V? R to you, Sam. Rhinestone.

Ride with the Devil. I, Howard. Okay. Ride with the devil I Howard Okay you're out I'm sorry I dragged you back into it I Chris Never say die I Letter I

Oh I think you said end No I should you said N. No, I should have said N, but I skipped Howard, so that's why you got I. Oh, okay. I, Ice Storm. I think it's the Ice Storm, but nobody cares. Nobody cares about my rules.

I went with In Bruges. Oh, that's one of my favorite movies. Love it, yeah. Such a good movie. Okay, and... Never Say Never Again. Huh? Never Say Never Again. Oh, I thought you would pick Not Another Teen Movie.

Oh. No, it just escaped me. Thought you listened to the show, Sam. No. Knew I did that sort of thing. None of Chris's motion pictures fit into the little Wolverine spelling it, right?

I don't know. Isn't there an E at the end of Wolverine? And what movie was he in that begins with E? What? Oh, he was saying none of the movies

that I was in. Yeah, yeah. Chris, I couldn't pull any of his titles because he hasn't been in one that starts with any of these letters. Pretty much just H movies.

House of a Thousand Corpses, Halloween 2. Terminator? Terminator 3? Do you have an E to wrap up this exciting round of the game? Sure. Eden. East of Eden? No, there's a motion picture called Eden

that hasn't come out yet. That's what I thought. It's about sex slavery. Yep, the best kind. It's a very serious movie, Chris. I went with Enter the Void. Have you seen that? No. That's some crazy shit.

What's that about? Sci-fi. I didn't watch enough of it to figure out what it's about. You gave it the old Mandingo treatment? The opening credits alone are practically screaming, why are you watching this? Because it's all these bright colors that are flashing. Oh, okay.

Yeah, if I'm talking about the right movie, I don't know. All right, that was ABCD's Nuts. Always a lot of fun. Convincing myself of that. Let's play a little ball game. Gentlemen, pick your name tags. Pick who you'd like to play for in the crowd. We got some good ones.

Obviously, people knew that Chris and Sam were going to be... It's a stegosaurus. It's a genosaurus. It's a genosaur. He's apologizing to Blackwood again. So their mission is still going. Just go grab it from them, whoever you want to play for, Howard.

Yeah, just physically take their... There's a Comic-Con badge. Maybe you can get into Comic-Con for free. Hello, humans. Let me be a cautionary tale to what can happen To a creature on That's what happened Well your listeners are going to love that loud bang

Hey I'm playing for Blackwood He's my Blackwood now What's this shirt Blackwood? Walking Dead Lego Walking Dead Lego I Walking Dead Lego. Oh, that's cool. Oh, I really should have picked that. That's Lego Daryl.

You blew it. And he put a hello, my name is Blackwood on there. Blackwood should be the name of the town they all live in. That also looks like Deacon from Nashville on ABC. Hayden Pease, guitar player. Oh, yeah. Anybody? All right.

All right. I'm playing for Jen. I like the way you said Nashville on ABC because you don't seem to know that kind of stuff normally. But this time you showed off and said it. Right. I'm letting you know I'm entering a world I don't usually go to. Is everyone's energy a little low? Including us and the audience?

Should everyone pick it up a notch? Should we be more excited? I thought we were all doing pretty good. The fact that not everyone in the audience supported that completely validates my point. No, I don't fucking... As far as the audience goes, I think they're just waiting for something to happen.

I do enjoy the... Is that a Crimson Bolt? Oh, no, that's a Luchador mask. From here, it looks like Super. The movie Super. I love that mask. Could it also be that, hey, your thing didn't get picked. So this is the part where you're like,

Oh, I made that thing and it didn't get picked. I don't think they're that disappointed. I mean, a lot of these folks come every week and so they take their shot. Okay. No es bueno. I don't know how comfortable it is to wear that mask, though. You could probably take it off now if you want.

I think it'd be kind of hot in there. Oh my god, it's you! Okay, so in there. So take off. Oh my God, it's you. Okay. So yeah. Okay. Chris, pick up the energy

if you think you need to do that. Okay, Doug, I'm really excited to be here. I'm playing for Jen. She's giving me

a little stegosaurus guy and she's clothes pinned her name to a piece of paper where she's drawn a bunch of stars. I feel really good

about that. Why? It's a girl stegosaurus. Why did you finger my dinosaur? Which was the original... I didn't have to finger it to figure out what sex it was. I guess I was sort of fingering it. That was the original name of Land Before Time.

What do you have, Sam? I went with Justin who has drawn apparently some sort of Wolverine-esque character with glasses, which Justin told me makes him a freak and a geek. See that?

That is some good... You really took time to get to know Justin. I did. We had a few minutes while you were fingering the dinosaur. The dinosaur has the exact same expression on its face as it did before it got fingered. Which is the expression that a lady has.

It's like, are you done down there? Can we just wrap this up? Which lady are we talking about, Chris? I don't know, Doug. Whoever you fingered during the show. Could you wrap up this fingering? It's really not interesting to me. All right, we're going to start with you again, Howard,

because you were so great at ABCD's Nuts that that needs to be rewarded. You've played the Leonard Maltin game before. Yes, sir. Enjoyed it. Doug, she's presenting. This is very special we definitely when I take a picture at the end

we definitely have to have the dinosaur in front of you in that position so that people can people can see it okay so you get to pick

between the following three categories Howard would you like at M. Geyer suggested so you get to pick between the following three categories Howard would you like at M. Geyer suggested Chris I'm glad

you figured out what was missing from the podcast a little irrelevant physical humor pardon me I'm a cock-a-vore

just picking up the energy, Doug. With dinosaur blowjob jokes. Reservoir Hogs. And that's movies where Reservoir Dogs cast members are naked. Or, celebrating a birthday today, Eva Mendez.

You know her, right? Oh, yeah. She is down with that Ryan Gosling. Is that true? Is that true? Okay. Or, at Wits Picks, W-I-T-Z Picks with a Z, suggested Jack the Giant Slayer Fan. Jack the Giant Slayer fan. Jack the Giant Slayer fan.

And that's movies that have a concert scene in them. Oh. I would rather see Jack the Giant Slayer fan than Jack the Giant Slayer. Which one of those do you like, Howard? I like that last one. You like Jack the Giant Slayer fan? Yeah.

Okay. This movie has a concert in it. It's from 2006. Two and a half stars. You know, a scene with a concert, not an entire concert. Two and a half stars. Leonard calls this movie typical of what passes for romantic comedy these days. So I don't know if that's a compliment and then he also says that uh

uh that the lead actor's real dad plays another character's father that's a terrible clue oh let's also say it was odd and unsatisfying, this movie. Well, that narrows it down considerably. Yeah. And Leonard lists 12 people that participated in this on camera. How many names do you think you can get it in, Howard? Of course, 12 being the most and potentially the smartest opening bit. But I don't want to tell you what to do.

I'll go half that six. Alright, that perked up seven or eight people. Here we go, here we go. How about that? Yeah, get that dinosaur ass out. Chris is going to do what with that? That is... You think you can name that in six?

Well, I said that. There are 12 names. You know what? I'm going to say name that movie. Oh, oh. I'm going to say name that movie. This is your strategy, Chris. I know how you work.

What are you talking about? Can you make it again next week, Chris? No, I'm out of town next... I'm not going to win tonight, Doug. Okay, well, you keep playing like you are because these six names are not going to help Howard to come up with the name of this movie. But let's try it, Howard.

Okay. I'll send mental vibes your way. Please. Anne Margaret was in this movie. Vincent D'Onofrio. Cole Hauser. John Michael Higgins. Ivan Sergei.

And Justin Long. Those are your six names. This movie that Leonard calls typical of what passes for a romantic comedy these days. Two and a half stars. 2006. Some confusing stuff about the casting of a dad.

And it's odd and unsatisfying. Any idea? I'm gonna go with... And the category was there's a concert scene. He's just thought that into you. Oh, that's a very good guess. Because that was a rom-com, and Jennifer Aniston was also in this movie.

And unsatisfying. But the other star of this movie was Vince Vaughn and it's called the breakup she goes to an old 97 concert alone because he doesn't meet up with her because they are never ever getting back together and Chris Hardwick is on the board he's got got a point. Who needs his lucky seat now? That means we're going to start with Sam to pick the next category. All right, I'm ready, Doug.

And then we'll go to Chris and to Howard. And you get to pick between the following three categories, Sam. Would you like... Who is the dad? Who is the dad? Thanks a lot for that. That's totally worth going back for. I haven't seen the movie, but I'm guessing it's Vernon Vaughn.

What? Do you know his real life dad's name? Yeah. Okay. He's also in Maid and Swingers. Oh, okay. Why do you know that? I mean...

What? What? What for me? Everyone here just died a little, Sam. Buddy, I die a little bit every day when I wake up. Because you wake up knowing this shit. I made it too real.

You bolt up in bed in the morning. Vernon Vaughn. Yeah, Vernon Vaughn played Jennifer Aniston's father. Did you know the answer to the movie, too? I might have. Might have, okay. All right, Sam, would you like the asparagus pea category? That's, of course, where I give you the entire review,

and then we go from there, so it ends up being a game of, you know... Thrones. Knowing the order of the actors in the movie. Or would you like from Crunchy Jim Sock the very tasteful category Legal in Mexico and that's films that just turned 13. Very nice.

Every part of that, including the username. Every part of that Including the username Every part of it No this guy lives to Lives to get people's attention And Calaruca suggested Tom Cruise And that's movies where Tom Hanks Is on a boat Which one of those do you want to play Sam? on a boat.

Which one of those do you want to play, Sam? You want to go asparagus pee where you get the whole movie? Or do you want to... Let's do the Tom Cruise category. Just turned 13. Hanks on a boat? Hanks on a boat.

Okay. Would you like a Tom Hanks on a boat movie from 1990 or 1984? You get to choose with this category. I will say 1984. This movie got three stars from Leonard. He calls it entertaining.

He says it was followed by a TV movie sequel. And he also says that this movie has a tendency towards over-length. Now, we know Leonard says that about every movie. He says that a lot. In this category, does the whole movie take place on a boat? You can't ask that, and no. Just all it needs to qualify is Tom Hanks just needs to be on a boat at some point. I can't think of a single Tom Hanks movie that takes place entirely on a boat.

But maybe you saw a different cut of Catch Me If You Can. Doug, I believe I can name that movie in negative four names. What an... Yeah. Yeah. Chris? God damn it. Well, you can't be here next week anyway, right? Yeah.

Well, I can't name it a negative five, so I have to let Lil' Wolverine name that movie. You have to let him show off. Yeah. Drop your movie dick on the table, Sam. Thud. All right, so the movie Title And of course

I won't say if you're right or wrong That means that I win I know I mean like you're really risking But here's the problem I figure you knew what the movie was So I had to automatically Go as deep as I thought I could go

Because I know you know What the movie is I really appreciate your process You're welcome I've watched you play You're a solid player I knew I had to go as deep As I thought I could go

Okay okay okay Alright so Since you're going so deep I'm not I knew I had to go as deep as I thought I could go. Okay, okay, okay. Alright, so since you're going so deep, I'm not going to give you any of the clues again. Just tell me the name of the movie and then start with the top billed performer. The name of the movie is Splash. Possibly. Who's the

top billed performer? This is actually the hardest decision in this and given the year, I'm going to say Daryl Hannah is the top build name, then Tom Hanks, then John Candy, then Eugene Levy. Can I, before you answer?

Because that was his final answer. Daryl Hannah never would have been the top build name because she was pulled out of obscurity for Splash and Tom Hanks already was a popular TV star so never mind. You go ahead. Chris, I couldn't agree

with you more but Sam is correct. No! No! Wow. Damn it. Daryl Hanna was the number one name? Daryl Hannah was the number... This audience just perked up.

I was just thinking about her and Blade Runner. As Pris. But I still... Yeah, Blade Runner was two years earlier. So she already had a film career. Probably already did Steel Magnolias and some shit. But still, Tom was a pretty big... But he didn't get big until Bachelor Party.

Did that come out before or after Splash? I don't even remember. I think Splash was prior to Bachelor Party. I think Splash was Tom Hanks' first big movie. Because that was the... Splash was the Babalu Mandel like it was the Happy Days guys who wrote it. What do you think of all this, Howard?

Mandel. It was the Happy Days guys who wrote it. What do you think of all this, Howard? Wait, who was the fourth name? No, you're kidding me. It was Eugene. Love you. Both of their stories made sense to me. If I had to shoot the one who was lying, I would...

I probably would... You both would have Taken a bullet Oh wow You would have shot me And I would have gone through And hit Sam There you go

I'm thoroughly impressed Sam I never would have said Daryl Hannah first He burned me Moulton burned me once On League of Their Own That dirty bastard I never forgave him for it

Why? Who did he list as? Because he listed Hanks above Gina Davis Oh Yeah so he got so burned by that, he proceeded to memorize the entire guide. It's true.

It's true. I'm not doing anything during the day. Just sitting there in my little malt nap. We're going the other way. We're starting with Howard, going to Chris. And Howard gets to pick between at who else Elliot suggested some assembly required. And that's a movie with two or more Avengers in it.

So it's an Avengers movie. I mean, not an Avengers movie, but two people from the Avengers have to be in it. And then a similar category, not that R. Kelly suggested. It's a different R. Kelly, you guys. Selma and Louise, and that's movies with either

Selma Hayek or Louise Guzman or both. Yeah. And then the third option is not for emetophobes, and that's a motion picture that has a lot of vomiting in it. A lot of throwing up.

I'm going to go crowd's choice. They sound like they like the Selma one. Okay. Would you like a movie with Selma Hayek and Luis Guzman or one or the other from the year 2000 or the year 1997? Seven. One of the more confident players we've had. Next to Sam, of course.

Two and a half stars. Two and a half stars for this movie that has Salma Hayek, Luis Guzman, or both. 1997 is the year. He says it's the story of a hard-working New Yorker. And pleasant if unexceptional is what he calls it.

Credible performances by the two lead actors. Credible. So that's a compliment. It's like they seem like people or something yeah and he lists ten names how many names mr. Kramer nine I stand behind that decision I think that's a smart bit. Chris? Name it. Getting boxed out, ladies and gentlemen.

For the record, I could do it in negative two. But you're not going to get the chance. For the record, there's no record that's dirty play Hardwick that's dirty play hey you didn't want the middle seat motherfucker yeah that's what I thought

you know what I think he's gonna get it thank you Sam you know what? Just name any movie that has Selma Hayek in it and I'll give you the point. No. But you might get the right one

if you guess her. But also, are you a big Louis Guzman fan? You know, he doesn't usually hurt a project. He never hurts anything. Yeah. A lot of times he helps.

Jill Kleberg, Suzanne Snyder, Stanley DeSantis, John Bennett Perry. What was that name again? John Bennett Perry. Huh. Siobhan Fallon. Thomas Milan. Carlos Gomez. Bennett Perry. Huh. Siobhan Fallon. Thomas Milan. Carlos Gomez.

The? John Tenney. And Selma Hayek. Sounds like there's a lot of Mexican names. Shut up! Like if you did... I don't think I don't even think knowing the remaining name would be

you would be able to name it that's like if she was like in an elevator and you just named the ten people on the elevator. Well, I'll tell you this. The one name I know on there is Stanley DeSantis because he is not only an actor, he made millions of dollars in the T-shirt industry. He was like one of the first people

to sell a shitload of T-shirts in like the 70s. All right, you get the point. Thank you. I thought maybe a little extra credit before I even take the test would help. But the fact that that's probably the only name I did know. Do you have a favorite Elvis song? Wait, stop it. That's not fair.

No, it's not. Anyway. I'm a UB40 man. Disregard. Oh, he's giving me clues there. Oh, he's giving me clues. UB40 and Elvis. What song did they have in common?

No, are you serious? You can't. Did that really happen? You would be apoplectic if another contestant did that against you. You let this shit happen to me all the time. I do not let people give clues that are that good.

It doesn't appear to be helping. Well, I mean, it's giving them something to chew on. Blue Velvet. Oh. Weird guess. You're right. Blue Velvet is the story Weird guess. You're right. Blue Velvet is the story of a hard-working person who, you know,

and that movie's pleasant, but unexceptional. It's one of your more pleasant missing ear dramas. And an incredible performance by the two stars. I did totally believe those two. Kyle MacLachlan and what's her name? I got it.

What is it? Can't help falling in love. Blackwood. Settle. Settle. The remaining performer's name is Matthew Perry. And the film, I'm sure it's one of your favorites, is called Fool's Rush In.

And that means Chris Hardwick. This is ridiculous. I couldn't agree more, Chris. Out of town where? Where are you going to be out of town next week? Austin. Next week I'll be out of town next week? Austin. Next week I'll be in Austin for South By. Okay.

We're doing some stuff there. But I'll come back when I'm back in town. In two weeks? Sure. We'll see Chris Hardwick in two weeks, ladies and gentlemen. Genosaurus, come get your bag of stuff. I should not. I really, Sam.

Come on down, Jen. Clearly your knowledge of film is superior. Here you go, Jen. Congratulations. You want your dinosaur back? Please take my giant vagina back. Don't eat me out, Doug. Come on.

I already lost my entire family. She wins the shirt, too. And the pebble. Oh, shit. We almost lost your prize. Hang on. Be careful with this. Going to a good home, that pebble.

What? Oh, yeah. You get this back. You didn't write a shithead on it, did you? Oh, good. He's got it on a separate piece of paper. Nice work, Blackwood. Doug, it is very exciting to continue to be the victor on Doug Loves Movies.

Sam, I shall punish you for a very long time and then I shall allow you to die. Does this have a shithead on the back, Justin? Is that a shithead, Justin? It does? It means nothing to anyone. Oh, this? Okay. If you say so.

What do you got to plug, Howard? I know you came by because you got a new... Oh yeah, Dragon Boy Suede album. Pick it up. It's called Douche Minutia. It's on iTunes, all those places. Please pick that up. What's the name of the album? Douche Minutia.

That's what I thought you said. That's fucking amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good. Douche Minutia. It's like when people overload you with stuff. Can I get the Stegosaurus back? Thanks.

There you go. Sorry, Howard. This is Douche Minutia for Doug. I didn't. Sorry, Howard. This is douche minutia for Doug. I didn't mean to interrupt you. This is serious douche minutia right here. I want to make sure we get the dinosaur's asshole in the picture that I'm about to take you guys, so hold it up

accordingly, Chris. So yeah, is it out already? When can we get it? It's out already. Pick it up on iTunes, Bandcamp and we'll be me and Kulap will be doing

Who Charted at South by Southwest next Wednesday come down there Austin, Texas and we'll be video podcasting on VPN

on Thursday with Paul F. Tompkins so check that out nice we're all going to South by I'm doing Benson Interruption taping of the podcast there at South By. And on April 2nd, I'm doing Douglas Movies at the Gramercy Theater in New York City.

Chris is going to be in Austin next week. What else you got? Talking Dead, Sundays after Walking Dead. Yeah, and then the Nerdist TV show is coming back Saturday, March 30th. It's Doctor Who and then a new series called Orphan Black and the Nerdist TV show. All on BBC America March 30th after it's Doctor Who and then a new series called Orphan Black and then Nerdist TV show.

All on BBC America. Yeah, and then in South by Southwest I'm doing a show with Cirque du Soleil. Woo! There you go. What?

Yeah. I like your genuine what? Is it called Dinosaur Anus? Yes, it's all it's a land before time themed acrobat show. Is it called Dinosaur Anus? Yes, it's all... It's a Land Before Time themed acrobat show. Is it stand-up?

They wouldn't have a stand-up, would they? No, there's not stand-up. And Sam, when can we catch Do No Harm? It's on ABC. That's a low blow. It's on right after Nashville. It's a low blow. If you live in England, you can catch it on the BBC at some point this year,

since they're going to air it. I want to see the whole... The whole season was filmed, right? So it'll the BBC at some point this year since they're going to air it. I want to see the whole season was filmed. It'll show up somewhere, hopefully. I was hoping to get to come back here next week because it'll actually be on my birthday. There's no place I'd rather be on my birthday than here on

Doug Loves Movies. You should have won then. I really should have. I really should have. It's weird. What if you came back next week and sat in the audience again? Oh.

With pleasure. Maybe I'll cook up something special for some special reason for you to come back. No, no, no. I like to win fair and square. Not underhandedly. Okay. By throwing out clues. Clearly it did not help. Would you have gotten Fool's Russian? In negative two.

Wow. Yeah. Wait, what order would you have said them in? Harry and the Hyatt. Come on. Sure, come on. Huge, huge star in France. Don't be ridiculous. Who was the third person in it? Couldn't tell you. Yeah. Finally, you don't know something. Nope. But you want to plug anything?

Kevin Pollack's chat show every Sunday. KevinPollackChatShow.com. Very exciting guest coming up next Sunday the 10th. Jon Favreau. Nice. Yeah. So looking forward to that. Tune in live.

Ask questions. That's why you know all about movies. Vince Vaughn's dad. Vince Vaughn's dad. Because we have Favreau coming on and I had to do my research. Fair enough. Thanks for being here, you guys. Thanks for being here, audience.

As always... As always, El Toro is a shithead. Good call, Justin. And Sam Levine's movie dick is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another cocky. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him

cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies.