Doug Loves Movies - Ian Karmel, David Gborie and Sean Jordan guest

Episode Date: May 21, 2019

Live from the Improv in Brea, Doug welcomes Ian Karmel, David Gborie and Sean Jordan to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name... My name... I'll think of it. My name is Doug, and I love movies.

Yes! I love movies! Coming to you once again. For the first time. I mean, it's been a podcast for a while, but this is the first time we've done it in Brea, California! We are at the improv

that likes to move a couple doors down from where it used to be but still have signs where it used to be that say, go down the block. How many people here have never been,

by applause, have never been to a Douglas Movies taping? And that's because I've never come to Brea? Fair enough. I like it. You know, Hollywood's not that far from here.

And I do shows there every other week. But I appreciate you guys coming here and buying drinks and food and stuff and bringing your name tags. The management here was very nice. They came up to me and said, do you want them putting their name tags on the stage? And I said, no, I do not.

And they said, well, we will tell them. Because you had your name tag on the stage, didn't you? It's covered in candy. My guests do not need that kind of distraction until the moment when they have to pick name tags. Yeah, and then I want you to hold that up because that looks delicious. And I might get some of it.

Also, I gotta say, I've never had somebody sitting in the front row with a hat that just says hi on it. Like, and you're wearing sunglasses. You are straight up admitting to us that you are fucked up. like, and you're wearing sunglasses, you are straight up admitting to us that you are fucked up. And I love that about you.

It is Sunday, May 19th, 2019, final Game of Thrones tonight. Just to save you guys some time and trouble I know how it ends and I'm gonna tell you

just kidding who's racing home to see that after okay well I appreciate you guys you know coming here

and under the circumstances cause if you're a big Game of Thrones fan you know you have to watch it tonight so you can write angry tweets tomorrow you know what I was just talking about

seeing the name tags later, but if you don't mind, I'd like to see them now. I mean, look at this fucking thing. Your name is Mark? He made a name tag. Could you stand up and show everybody this shit?

He made a name tag that says the Marksiders instead of the Outsiders. And then he's recast. I would love to do a remake of the Outsiders with me and Jeff Tate and

Ian Carmel and Sean Torres and David Borey and who's that lady? That's their producer, Marissa. That's their producer, Marissa.

Great job, dude. That's amazing. So many good name tags. I can't believe it. A wrinkle in what? A wrinkle in Steve? Instead of time? Do you know how puns work?

But you do have weed and Reese's on there, so I take back everything I said. I love you. Speaking of Game of Thrones, I don't know if everyone can see it, but fucking Dinklage. We got Dinklage in full over there. It's a life-size dink over there.

But then your poster is for the movie Just Friends. And Dinklage is holding it at the end of a sword. And I'm on there. I love it. Justin, friends, because your name is Justin. Wait a second. And you're leaning it up against the mic stand that's there to record the audience sounds. You are an innovator.

And if your name tag doesn't get picked, I'm going to... What? I think it'll get picked. Thank you, everybody, for bringing those. Especially, I love you, Van. That's you, Van? Vanessa? There's men named Van.

Remember that? There's an old-ass actor, Van Teflin or something like that. Yeah. Anyway. What else do I have to talk about? Doug plugs. Next weekend, on Saturday, May 25th, Doug Loves Movies finally returns to Comedy on State

in Madison, Wisconsin at 420. DLM is back at UCB in LA, if you guys feel like making the drive, on Tuesday, May 28th. And on June 1st, the Cannabis and Cheese Tour begins. Yeah. I know, people are like, huh?

How do I, why isn't that happening here? I like both of those things. Did you know that the band's C&C Music Factory, it was Cannabis and Cheese Factory. I just thought of that. That tour begins on June 1st with shows in Boston, Providence, Philly, Baltimore, and D.C. Some are stand-ups, with shows in Boston, Providence, Philly, Baltimore, and D.C.

Some are stand-ups, some are Douglas movies, but all of them will feature the great Dale Cheeseman. For more dates, go to DouglasMovies.com. DouglasMovies.com! Yeah! Hurrah! What a day! See, some would argue that there's nobody that likes to have fun on the other side of the orange curtain.

But you guys are proving that you're here. Somebody wrote to me on Twitter, it's going to be a bunch of Trump supporters. I was like, I don't think so. Not for my show. From the corrections department, Rip Torn is in Men in Black 3

in an uncredited role as an alien, according to IMDB, but I don't know if I buy it. I'd like to do a dugout to the very tasty Little Pine in Los Angeles, featured on the latest episode of Dining with Doug and Karen. Not only is it owned by Moby, Moby? And has terrific vegan food, they also give their proceeds to animal charities. So yeah, that's pretty sweet. The prize bag includes, somebody already

managed to get a bag of Donettis up onto the stage, and these are double chocolate flavored. That sounds pretty good. So I'll put that in the prize bag. Plus, a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. A thing that

sometimes they give me on planes that I have no interest in eating. You guys had a Kind bar? They're good? Okay, well, there you go. Somebody's going to win one. And then I've got from when I was on the 311 cruise, somebody gave me this cool beads with a thing on it.

And then, don't worry, my guests brought stuff too. I also brought and will give to someone a Death Squad pin. My Death Squad friend, Brian Redband, gave me that. And a Doug Loves Movies pin. And I believe you can get both at rockinpins.com. And in the case of my pin, you could buy one for $10 in the lobby area of this club immediately after the show. Don't feel obligated. I'll take a picture with you or sign your name tag for free.

You ready to meet our guests? I've been teasing this for a while because I want people that enjoy the podcast that these gentlemen are from to be here. Are there some all fantasy everything fans here? Fantastic. That worked out great for me. Please give it up for Sean Jordan, David Borey, and Ian Carmel. What up? Hey, guys.

How's it going? What's up? It, guys. How's it going? What's up? It's going great. This is an amazing club, amazing venue. People came out on a Sunday afternoon when there's a country musical festival going on right across the street. A country musical festival is different

than a country music festival. So there's like Oklahoma. It's all country musicals over there. So you guys probably did the right thing by coming to this instead. But also, you know, I apologize if parking was a bitch. It wasn't at all. It wasn't for you guys? I can't drive.

I don't have a car, so. All right. Well, let's Meet these losers individually Starting with the gentleman To my right David Borey Is here Thank you Thank you

So good to see you again Good to be seen It's good to be recognized What do you got for the prize bag, dude? Oh man, so I got Everybody knows I'm pretty fashion forward Yeah, they do Don't laugh!

That's the thing about me So I got this pleather bucket hat that someone sent me And it's really good For any occasion Bar mitzvahs Quinceañeras It's really, yeah If you're auditioning to be the occasion. Bar mitzvahs. Quinceañeras. It's really, yeah.

If you're auditioning to be the Morton fisherman, it's a nice hat. It goes anywhere. You look like LL Cool J in that. I do? You look like LL Cool J anyways, but that helps a lot. I look like ladies love me?

Ladies love Cool James. You look a lot like him. Like a gimp on vacation. Yeah, a beach gimp. Oh my god, beach gimp. Come on. Zipper on my mouth. You can picture it.

Zipper, corndog, zip back up. I'm only unzipping for Mai Tais at the beach. What else do I got? Oh, I got a silver Casio watch. It's just because I bought it, but then watches kind of look like chokers on the wrists of fat guys.

I'm not into that. It's a bad look. Yeah, it's never good. What am I trying to prove? I know what time it is. Is this bad for me? Yeah, it's a bad look yeah it's never good it's just what am I trying to prove I know what time it is is this bad for me yeah it's too tight and then I have Beetlejuice

the classic Michael Keaton vehicle on DVD no Blu-ray I'm sorry about that and then I have a bunch of All Fantasy Everything

stickers yeah very nice hand it over thank you I might hang on to this Beetlejuice you should hang on stickers. Very nice. Hand it over. Thank you. I might hang on to this Beetlejuice. You should hang on to the bucket hat. Yeah.

I've seen the Beetlejuice Broadway show a couple of times and I gotta say, even if you don't like Broadway shows I think you'll really... Who doesn't like a Broadway show? I mean some people. But in the case of Beetlejuice, it's like a really good, fun adaptation of that

movie, and I recommend it. Also joining us in the middle seat, it's Ian Carmel! Wow! Slipper! What do you got for the prize, Mike?

Oh my goodness, so much. I have so many things for the wonderful people. These are Sour Punch Rainbow Straws that Sean Jordan bought and that I am pretending I did. No, that's not how it went down. We all would have known that because Sean always brings some sour candies.

He's a sweet guy with sour candies. He also bought The Goonies on DVD. Film in the beautiful, scenic, and historic city of Astoria, Oregon. A story of five teenage boys who find and kill Adolf Hitler, right? Well, I got it because you're Jewish, right? 100%. There you are. What else?

This I actually did bring. This is a rare, hashtag very rare, recording voodoo donuts. I'm from Portland, Oregon. I never talk about it. I'm from Portland, Oregon. There's a donut store from Portland store called Voodoo Donuts, and they started a record label for, I'm imagining, tax evasion purposes.

And I wrote six minutes of jokes about donuts, and it's on pink vinyl, and it's in here. And yeah, so there, that's going in the prize bag too. And then we have a, this is from all of us,

a signed upside down All Fantasy Everything t-shirt. Yeah. Which we were fucking blowing it so hard. Alright, cool. It's good, yeah. What size is it? One size fits Al.

A big guy named Al. It pairs well with a pleather bucket hat. Everything pairs well with a pleather bucket hat. Well, thank you for all of that stuff, Ian. And thank you for being here. You flew in from Portland today? Today, yeah, this morning. I was in Portland, Oregon for a basketball game. Nobody knows what the

result is. It's still... Blazing in seven, man. They got it. It's happening. Yeah, so I was up there. I was drunk and in Portland like 12 hours ago. So I'm happy to be here. I'll buy that. Sure. That all checks out. Made a sizable donation to the Sassy's Fund

for... A strip club. Yeah, it's a strip club. A little strip club joke. A donation. No, it wasn't. You know, whether or not the club inside

brings me joy, I just love that there's a strip club called Sassy's. Sassy's. Because you already know. What's gnarly? Don't fuck with these girls.

Sassy's. Don't fuck with those. The bouncer there is one of the scariest looking girls I've ever seen. If you felt like fucking with the girls, the bouncer has like

bear mace and face tattoos. Yeah, he's got bear mace in a vest. He wears like a tactical vest. Wait, the bear mace is in the vest? Yeah, dude. He looks like he knows

how to do his hop keto and like bone breaking techniques. He's gnarly. He's real gnarly. Kroll's mega. Kroll's mega. He's like the sweetest guy ever. He's like so nice. He's real gnarly. Kroll's MAGA. Kroll's MAGA. He's like the sweetest guy ever. He's so nice.

He really is. He's like, nice face tattoo, Earl, or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, he just comes up. Never been late on my taxes. What happens? So there's a mace specifically for bears? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And that guy at a strip club needs to have it? Yeah. Bears aren't going to strip clubs. Because he's got the mace. It's been a while since you've been up there. There's a reason the bears aren't going to the strip clubs.

It's because they know he's there. The word is out. They heard about him. In the bear community. They heard about Earl. One bear attack is two too many as far as sassiness is concerned. I'm not good with math, so I'm going to agree with that. Yeah.

Sean S. Yeah. Jordan is here, everybody. And the S is for Patrick. Yeah, the S stands for Patrick. It's an Irish spelling. Patrick. It's not my real middle initial.

You know, pretty good story, right? Yeah, anyway. Sean S. Jordan on Twitter. I'm here. I'm thrilled about it. I love it. I love that we're all getting to do this together. This is rad. I know. This is so fun. I really am super stoked about it. I've been looking forward to this. I mean, we were going to do it this weekend, but some scheduled

things happened, so... I had to go to Sassy's. You have to say it like that, too. I'm going to sassies. You better clean up your act or you'll end up at sassies. So, yeah. So I was

going to do, be the guest on All Fantasy Everything and we'll work that out in the next week or two? Yeah, yeah. We'll get it done. Absolutely. Smattering. That's the true definition of a smattering of applause. Nothing has ever been more of a smattering

than that. There it was. Well, for those who listen to Doug Lowe's movies, but for some weird reason, not All Fantasy Everything, it's a podcast where the three of you gentlemen and a guest on occasion

sit around and debate like brackets for I don't want to say pop culture things but just things. Anything, yeah. Just different random shit. Well, fantasy draft anything.

Sandwiches, Nicolas Cage movies, candies, worst places to get bit by a shark. Best places to get bit, candies. Worst places to get bit by a shark. Best places to get bit by a shark. Best places to get bit by a shark. Oh, I thought of one. Disneyland.

Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, because if you die at Disneyland, they take you off the property and pretend it didn't happen at Disneyland. They do, right? They disappear. How many people die at Disneyland in a year? At least one a day.

Are you serious? Well, there's thousands of people in there, and many of them are old. Here's my question. They died doing what they love, waiting in line. Donald Duck's bloodlust must be slaked. If you flew your whole family out to Disneyland, and then Grandma dies,

do you go out, or do you stay? It's expensive tickets. You stick around. You put her on the top of the car like vacation and you finish what you came to do. I think you use her as like a line placeholder. Oh man.

Put her in a wheelchair and get in front of every line. Hey, my dead grandmother needs to she doesn't have a lot of time to wait around for the Peter Pan's adventure. This is what she would've wanted, to puke on Space Mountain.

Oh, man. Somebody would have to be a really full of alcohol or a real puss to throw up on Space Mountain. What'd you bring for the prize bag, Sean? A real puss to puke on Space Mountain. What'd you bring for the prize bag, Sean? A real puss to puke on Space Mountain.

I brought some Sour Patch Kid, because they're the best candy in the whole world. Good to eat while you're watching a movie. And then we also have more stickers, all Fantasy Everything stickers. They have all of us, like the Death Row cover. This is the only time I've ever looked tough in my whole life,

is on this sticker and that t-shirt that someone's going to wear. What about when you did the splits in front of the football team? I did the splits at football practice one time. I did not look tough. I thought I looked tough at the time. And then I brought a DVD of Risky Business. Who doesn't like Risky Business? And then, also, I brought these things

called Bean Boozled. You guys ever heard of these? Bean Boozled? Yeah, some groans? So what did it... Yeah, some groans. So it's a bunch of jelly beans, and they could either taste... So they're like... It's all duplicates.

I hate this concept. So it could be like... One of them is spoiled milk or coconut. What? Another one is rotten egg or buttered popcorn. One of them is barf or peach. So like all the orange ones, it's either going to taste like barf or peach.

That's so gross. Buttered popcorn? Hilarious. All right, Sean. I like how you said no, just joking. I get it. Let's play Russian bean roulette, Sean. Open it up and eat one.

Yeah! Well, we're all going to do it. Yeah, we're all going to eat one. Yeah, you first. And we'll see how we do. I trust you boys. All right, I'm going to do this. Fill the we're all going to eat one. Yeah, you first. And we'll see how we do. I trust you boys. Alright, I'm going to do this. Fill the time while I open it up.

I can't even, like, it's so gross. It's a lose-lose. Gross jelly beans. Well, some of them might be good. Some of them... It's either going to be barf or peach. God damn. It's barf. be barf or peach. God damn. Barf.

Someone in the audience said peach is the best. How do you not know yet? Yeah, what is it? Have you never eaten barf or a peach? Turns out I love barf. I think it's peach. It doesn't taste bad, so I hope it's peach. Does it taste sweet?

Like a peach? Kind of. I mean, you know, it's gone, so... I think it was... I don't think it was barf, because I'd like to think that if it was barf, I would at least made a face, you know? You like to think that.

I like to think that, but I do drink a lot. I pulled a lame one. This is either toothpaste or berry blue, which are both fairly pleasant. Yeah, toothpaste isn't bad. You're going to go harder in the paint. Look at this. Ian Carmel getting shit done. Okay, well, fuck me. God damn it.

What'd you get? Spoiled milk or coconut. Oh. I mean, I hope you know right away which one it is. Here we go. You gotta swallow it! You gotta swallow it You gotta eat it You gotta eat it Holy Holy buckets

You can't swallow it because it's so sticky You should have the barf one that I had It was really good I hope this is toothpaste You can't swallow it because it's so sticky. You should have the barf one that I had. It was really good. I hope this is toothpaste. It is. All right. You think you're going to brush your teeth?

It tastes like eating a little thing of dried up toothpaste. Like mouthwash or something. Boy, that spoiled milk one fucking sucks. That's fucking rad. Let's see it, David. Oh, man. What do you think it is? Mine is either dead fish or strawberry banana smoothie.

Come on. Why would live fish be better in a jelly bean? Fuck. It's like dead fish. What's a dead fish? This could be an entire podcast. It tastes like old tuna.

Oh! This was my mom's big thing at Christmas. She got us all bean boozled. Your mom's a jerk. We did this at Christmas. Sioux Falls ass fucking hobby. You guys not have cable? What's going on?

Only a fireplace and bean boozled I think I got bar for peach I think Like the colors aren't that exact That's like a real weird thing like at a wedding Bar for peach I love the peach I love that it says on the back,

think you could tell them apart? We dare you. All caps. I couldn't. All right, let's see what this is. Oh, that's barf. I love you guys

all got hosed and I was like, I just must have had peach. You're the guy who has the worst sense of taste. You couldn't even tell. I ate two of them, and they were both the gross ones. Luckily, the toothpaste wasn't that gross.

I mean, if anybody ever came up to you and said, hey, will you eat some of this barf? You would just flat out say no. But the fact that it could go one way or the other, I was like, what the fuck? Why not? What the heck? Even if someone came up to you with a wet bag and they were like, this either has a barf or a peach in it.

Do you want it? And now there's little pieces of barf stuck between my teeth. Been there. Mine too. That's happened quite a few times. I just like they call it barf. They don't call it vomit or anything.

They call it barf. That's the funnest word for it. Makes it a little more fun. Onomatopoetic. I'm not having fun. There's one in here called stinky socks. Fuck this. Fuck you, bean boozle.

Yeah, fuck you. But it is interesting. They can just make anything into a jelly bean. Yeah. See, one of them's lawn clippings. I wouldn't mind that. I've eaten that when I got drunk and passed out in a lawn. Gotta eat something.

Canned dog food. That doesn't sound good. Moldy cheese. Yeah. I can handle that. I think we dodged some bullets. Booger. Is that really goingged some bullets. Booger? Is that really going to taste like a booger?

It's just a bunch of salt. Oh, you got some salty boogers there, Sean? What, you got some real five-star boogers over there? I've eaten a booger. You guys haven't eaten a booger? Of course. Yeah, tastes like salt. Yeah.

Yeah. What are we doing? Solve that one pretty quick. I'll tell you what we're doing. We're answering one quick question. Nine inches. Before... Nine?

No, that's why it's funny Ian got so mad I wouldn't say mad Intrigued more I wasn't happy about it The question, Sean, you know what it is So you're going to answer it first What was the last

Like if you die now From eating that Stuffing jelly bean Oh peach Oh you got a good one Maybe It wasn't barf If that peach jelly bean

Kills you That'd be fun too If like the nice tasty ones Were also poisonous That's That's a better game Yeah That's a way bucker game

Oh thank god it's barf I think we should all look at it this way When you see a movie When you're walking out You should go God I hope I can see another movie before I die Cause that one did not cut it

What's your last movie Sean? I watched Die Hard earlier today It was on IFC The Ridge? Huh? The Ridge? The first one? Yeah, yeah

It's not even Christmas, dude IFC seems to think it is Oh Yeah, they're doing a whole Die Hard day IFC is interesting because it's You have to sit through commercial breaks But they can swear But they don't cut anything.

Right. They leave everything in, but you still got to go to break. I knew they left it in. So he's like, yippee-ki-yo, motherfucker! Kraft Cheese is a proud sponsor. He goes, I'm not the one that got butt-fucked on national television. And then they cut to a toothpaste commercial. What a wild network that is.

That's a line in that movie? Yeah. When he's talking to the main detective or whatever. How did you miss it? I don't know. I didn't know there was anything that graphic.

What's the guy's name? I just saw it today. The main detective, the principal from Breakfast Club. Yeah, Paul Gleeson. Yeah, he says something to Bruce Willey when he's up in the building.

He's like, listen, Paul or whatever, I'm not the one that just got butt fucked on national television. And everyone's like, listen, Paul or whatever, I'm not the one that just got butt-fucked on national television. And everyone's like, damn, as they should have been. I think he says it really fast. No.

He lets it be known, that's what he's saying. Butt-fucked? I swear that word hasn't been uttered in any other movie. I'm shocked that it's in Die Hard. Nobody gets butt-fucked in Nakatomi Plaza Except for that dude on national television

They say butt fuck They say it in Jurassic Park They're like oh butt fuck it's a dinosaur Remember that scene No he says hold on to your butt fucks Clever butt fuck Finally a movie podcast Where people say Have a butt fuck. Finally, a movie podcast where people say butt fuck.

We spared no butt fuck, I assure you. Welcome to Butt Fun Park. Ah, ah, ah. You didn't say the magic butt fuck. Ah, ah, ah. You didn't say the magic butt fuck. Ah, ah, ah. Butt fuck finds a way.

Jeff Goldblum really knows a lot about butt fuck theory. I didn't think I was going to hear butt fuck anymore today after I heard it on Die Hard. Here I am. You were butt fucking wrong, my friend. We were talking about butt fucking on the drive over my friend. We were talking about butt-fucking on the drive over. Oh, we were talking about butt-fucking. We've decided to call it a French blowjob.

Oh, I just remembered another line from Die Hard. Come out to the coast, we'll have some laughs, we'll do some anal sex. Man. Yeah, so Die Hard. Yippee-ki-yay, butt-fucker. Now I have a machine gun. Man Yeah so die hard Yippee-ki-yay Buttfucker Now I have a machine gun

Ho buttfuck ho Mr. Tukagi I just wanted to say that I like this Would you like To be buttfucked Mr. Potter no thanks I just used my wand

jeez oh I got spoiled milk flavor in my mouth still I am my mouth's full of barf what was the last movie you saw Ian oh I watched Bohemian Rhapsody spoiled milk flavor in my mouth still. My mouth's full of barf. What was the last movie you saw, Ian?

Oh, I watched Bohemian Rhapsody on the airplane. Just to get ready for Rocket Man? Yeah, to prep myself for Rocket Man. I've seen Bohemian Rhapsody like five times now. It's the perfect airplane movie. I just love it.

It goes down smooth. It goes down so smooth, It's not going to make you think. You might tear up. You're laughing at Robbie Malick's gigantic teeth. You know? There's some fun outfits. What's not to like? No, I think it's very enjoyable, but I think it's mostly because

Freddie Mercury was so awesome. And so they just do him, and you go, Oh, yeah. That guy was awesome. Yeah, it really is. And Elton John is awesome, too. So I think Rocket Man is going to be fun. And I think the thing I like more about Rocket Man that some people won't like is that there's like fantasy, there's like musical numbers where people dance. Like a musical.

Well, and Taron Egerton's a good singer, too, right? Like for real, isn't he? Yeah. Yeah, Taron Egerton's like a good singer for real, right? Yeah, he really does all the singing, supposedly. But like, he didn't, wasn't he like a performer or something? Like, he didn't like have to learn

how to sing for that movie, right? Like, he was just good at it? Oh, yeah. I mean, you know. I like how we're talking about Rocket Man now instead of Bohemian Rhapsody. The movie that you watched on the plane. That's how this works, Sean.

Somebody says what they watched and then we have a discussion. Damn. David, what was the last movie you saw? I was pretty drunk, but I watched Planes, Trains, and Automobiles last night. Yeah. Were you sober enough to see

a plane, a train, and an automobile? I took it in. I watched that part in the car where he says, you play with your balls a lot, like eight times back to back. And I laughed and laughed and laughed. Had a good time. You play with your balls a lot. Who says that to who?

John Candy says it to Steve Martin. He says to Steve Martin, you play with your balls a lot. Who says that to who? John Candy says it to Steve Martin. He says to Steve Martin, do you play with your balls a lot? What is it? Del Griffin? And I watched I Like Me. I watched that part three times. It was a weird night.

I've always enjoyed and simultaneously hated that scene where they're in bed together and John Candy says he has his hand between two pillows. And Steve Martin goes, Those aren't pillows! I mean, that is a very weird thing to confuse pillows for a man's ass. I mean, I've put my hand in a lot of man's asses and it did not feel like a pillow.

Somebody shit on these pillows, but I don't care. It's comfortable. Also, doesn't he like, he says it and Steve Martin's completely calm until he says it. Those aren't pillows. So why don't you say something the second it's in there? He just didn't want him to blow up the spot don't talk about it he was happy

with that hand there and then once he brought it up he had to pretend to be mad about it I get it they were separated from their wives he just wanted a warm touch

but then John Candy had to be loud about it Ja feel Ja provide Ja feel Ja rule the whole scene doesn't make sense.

To say to another man, where's your hand when you feel a hand between your butt cheeks? I just want to make sure it's yours. What other hand is that going to be? I don't want to be an asshole.

Maybe Steve Martin thought there was a pillow in his butt. Maybe they both don't know what pillows feel like, you know? It was over the pajamas, right? Another great question. You gotta watch it on IFC. Then you'll find out.

Steve Martin jumps up so fast, it must have been over. It must have been over. The pants would have come off if his hand was all down in his pants. I can see a pajama buttock feeling a little bit like a pillow. Because they're covered in the... That's what I was wondering. Yeah, because it's got like a... What do you call it?

Not corduroy. Flannel. Flannel. Corduroy pajamas is a boo. Because you know all those hotels that have those flannel pillows. And also, maybe if he was wearing flannel and Steve Martin had like a fluffy butt, like maybe.

Does he have a bubble butt, Steve Martin? No, he had a fucking tight ass in that movie. Tight steel ass. Yeah, because he was playing a tight ass. He was so uptight that his ass was followed. It was also tight.

What's that? Steve Martin had a bubble butt. He did? Steve Martin had a bubble butt. There's a gentleman in the crowd who's an expert. And he is testifying that Martin had a bubble butt. Martin? What's up, Martin?

He seems like he could have a cool butt on the low. Like he never talks about it. I can see that the low. Like he never talks about it. I can see that. Tight. Oh, he talks about it. A cool butt? Yeah. Okay.

You ever seen like a cool butt? Everyone's hanging on it. Like, what do you mean cool butt? I mean, like a pillow. Like you flip it over and it's cool. Like a butt that skips school, smokes cigarettes and stuff like that? Yeah, yeah. It's got a butterfly knife.

I know nunchucks are legal in Arizona. That kind of butt? He's got some, like, slammers that you're really jealous of. A pog joke. Yeah. Huh? Yeah. Where are we at?

Pog joke. Let's read the room. Flew up to Portland, got a pog joke, brought it back for everybody here. Guys, I gotta write a letter real quick. There's not enough letter writing going on these days. Dear Brit California Improv, may I have another

Tito's and Soda? Sincerely, guy on stage right now. P.S. A double Jameson on the rocks Double? Which one of you drove? David and I don't have cars Can I P.P.S.?

For the listeners Ian raised his hand Can I P.P.S. a Tito's and soda as well? Oh, two Tito's and soda. Whatever Sean asked for that sounds like too much. And Ian is good. Yeah, I have several drinks

just in my body already. Last night. Still hanging out. I'm not drunk or anything. They're just there. I'm not drunk or anything. Who fucking said anything about that? Does anyone want a Donetti?

See, here it is. That guy. This is the part that freaks me out. Oh, nice catch. Oh, all right, tight. Donetti, Donetti, Donetti. Oh, you want one too? No, I'm good, I'm good.

I'll give you one. Oh, Playboy. Look at that. Oh, yeah. That's a nice oop right there. That's the magic word. That's some hand-to-mouth shit right there. Did we warn you that some of the Donettis are shit-flavored?

It's either poop or Donetti. Donut boozled. Poop is such a funny word. It really is. If you're bummed, just say like, I gotta go poop. Just say that to somebody. It'll cheer you up. And then go poop. That also cheers you up.

See, it really is that simple. Man. Oh, thank you! Thank you. Look at that. This is for you. There you go. Jameson's for Sean on the end.

For the Irish. Thank you so much. Too much. Thank you so much. Too much, I hear. She's got to get back to a concert. Yeah, there's a country musical going on. Next door at Copper Blues.

Yeah, there's a country musical going on. Next door at Copper Blues. Yeah, there's a country music festival across the street. Did you guys have issues, like, parking and stuff because of it? Okay, I'm happy to hear the country music to slow you down. Yesterday, I think, Doug was like, I'm going to get there at like 3, because parking can be an issue. And he's brought up parking like three times since we're here. And so we pulled up in this parking ramp

and Ian's like, we don't even have to pay. It was the easiest park show. I was stoked. I like it out here. Oh yeah, it's dope.

It's appropriate that we're on the Brea Improv Show because this whole city feels like a mall and I mean that in a good way. I love a mall. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I feel very comfortable here. I'm not the only dude with thick calves wearing shorts. Yeah, dude. Things are good for us. This is our country. No one's looked at me like, nice backwards hat. They're just like, nice backwards hat?

Do people look at you like that? Sometimes. Sometimes. You know? I feel like I could crack my neck and say, I'm feeling like going to Quiznos, and people would be like, hell yeah. Like, I like going to Quiznos And people would be like, hell yeah I'd be right there cracking mine

Like he's feeling like going to Quiznos Hell yeah, man We should go to Quiznos after this We're talking about low-key ordering P.F. Chang's tonight I'm pretty stoked about that That's a fun one I used to work at P.F. Chang's What?

Yeah, but for two different locations. The one in Torrance, California. And then the one in... Yeah. And then the one in the Pearl District of Portland, Oregon. That's no longer there. Rest in peace. But it's fantastic.

Very clean kitchen. Very fresh ingredients. I have no horror stories. I ate chow mein out of a garbage can there once. It was great. Me too. Yeah. David didn't work there, but... Yeah. It's great. Me too. David didn't work there.

It's a far different situation. Not to turn this into my food podcast, but when was the last time you went to a P.F. Chang's, Ian? It's been a long time. Well, I got something to tell you. You know the Mongolian beef?

Yes. Amazing, right? So good. Now they have Mongolian beef pot stickers. Amazing, right? So good. Now they have Mongolian beef pot stickers. You need to fucking go back. I want it so bad! It's so good. You've had them, right? Nobody's had them. Do they not have a P.F. Chang's in Brand?

What the fuck? They have to. That's crazy. You're lying to me. There's no P.F. Chang's within... I couldn't throw a golf ball in here P.F. Changs. Oh, it's down by Disneyland. Anaheim? Oh, yeah. I grew up in L.A. Anaheim.

That's the funniest part in Swingers. I grew up in L.A. Anaheim. Alright, well, this is a part of the show where everybody's waiting for me to say, turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin! There are some amazing name tags out there, and they are going to lift them up and hopefully not get sore arms.

Yeah, if you like weed or candy, there's a good one right there. Oh, Sean's already grabbing one. He's not hesitating. Ian's already grabbing one. This is my favorite movie of all time. David, take a second. Really look around. I did. Whoa.

It looks like Tyrion is on stage. We'll do this. We'll be right back. Hey, do you guys have Stitcher Premium yet? You don't? Why don't you have Stitcher Premium? Because with Stitcher Premium, you can hear

ad-free new episodes of Doug Loves Movies plus all of my older episodes completely ad-free. That's right. It's exclusively on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of premium, go to stitcherpremium.com slash Doug and use the promo code Doug. That's D-O-U-G, but you knew that. Back to the show. Now you can feel like Tywin Lannister taking a shit.

We're in a commercial break, Ian. Save those classics for when we're back. We're back! Now you too can feel like Tywin Lannister taking a shit. I'm very David, you picked the

Peter Dinklage life size. I'm a dink head. You're a dink head, is that what you said? I'm a dinkster. It's got, like, that wasn't enough. Like, I think a full-size Dinklage is enough. But then there's also Skittles. Yeah.

Yeah. The good kind. And you on the poster for Just Friends. Yeah, I love that movie, Just Friends. Yeah, it's really funny. Wasn't Amy on the podcast? Amy Smart was on in Traverse City one time, yeah. I don't like that his feet don't seem to hold up.

Yeah, you can't. You broke his ankles? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, just pour a bunch of vodka on his face. He owed him like 30 bucks. I'm sure the dragons will love that he's extra flammable. One dragon.

One dragon. Sorry. Is Just Friends that movie where it's like you're from LA, you're a music producer, he's from Jersey, he skis in jeans or something like that? No. Yeah, it is. What? Do they say that in LA? Wait, what? So he grew up in Jersey, moved to LA. I thought he was fat. Moved to LA.

He was when he was in high school. In high school. And then he moves to LA. He's like a big time producer. Anna Faris is in it too. She's like this crazy like... Britney Spears. Yeah, ish.

Yeah. So he comes back for a funeral or a layover. It's a layover, I think. And they're playing it still. Actually, she's more of a Christina Aguilera now that I think about it. Wow, somebody's describing the entire plot of Just Friends. It's complex. I love it.

The point is that it is, until Deadpool came along, it was Ryan Reynolds' best work. What about Waiting? No, it wasn't. What about what? Waiting! Waiting's funny. Waiting is alright. Definitely Maybe is pretty good. I like definitely Maybe. What about what? Waiting. Waiting's funny. Waiting is alright. Definitely Maybe is pretty good. I like Definitely Maybe. What?

I like romantic comedies. A lot. A whole lot. Oh yeah, Van Wilder. Van Wilder. Van Wilder's Green Lantern sucks. Van Wilder's fucking hilarious. I'm glad you have a lot of Ryan Reynolds favorites because I do like him a lot. He's the best thing in those movies, but all those movies suck.

Van Wilder doesn't suck. Van Wilder's hilarious and it's very good. Okay. It's a good but all those movies suck. Van Wilder doesn't suck. Van Wilder's hilarious, and it's very good. It's a good movie. Do you also like Van Wilder, The Rise of Taj? I'm just saying this because Bert's listening again, so I want him to hear all this. Oh, I get it. No, I'm kidding. I love Van Wilder, but Bert's awesome.

Yeah, but he turned it off. He turns it off when I tell him to turn it off. But he doesn't turn it back on? He doesn't like the game part? Mm-mm. Oh, okay. He doesn't like the game part. Fuck you, Crasher. That's the point of that is he doesn't like the game part. Holy shit, right now

it's 519 on 519. Whoa! Yeah, that's, we're living life, you guys. We're doing it. All right, so. Can I get like one pull off that just to try to get this

milk flavor out of my... Thank you, baby. Spoiled milk, you said. All right. You want another one? No, I'm good. That's it. I'm just over here. I think it tastes like peach. I just see it tasted. I just see it tasted every now and then. All right, so this says Justin Friends on it, so you're playing

for Justin, and I'm going to lay Dink down. Careful for his ankles. Just like he might be tonight. Oh, no! I totally broke one of his ankles. That might be a real shot on Game of Thrones tonight. That might be true.

It might be him falling to the ground after his ankle gets destroyed. Broken ankles. This is a crazy angle to be looking at him like that. He's looking at us very intensely. I might turn it over. That's okay. Ian, who are you playing for? I'm playing for, I assume, Mark?

The Marksiders, hell yeah. And this is one of the tightest things I've ever seen. It's an Outsiders poster. Is that Shane? It's got Shane on it. Shane, Bori in the Mickey Mouse shirt looking fly. Doug's on there. Matt Cruz.

Matt Dillon. I'm on there I used like the best picture of me available which I really appreciate look at that what is that Ben Affleck's younger

chubbier brother I thought it was Chris Pine is who I thought it was yeah it is Chris Pine is that Jeff Tate right yeah yeah yeah yeah

Tate on there Chantel Jordan the big cranberry himself Shane Torres super producer Marissa's on there. Also, hella candy and a pre-roll. It's fucking tight. Yeah, yeah.

Is that what that is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It's a street drug known as marijuana. Yeah, sure. Yeah, you really got some... You guys all saw that happening. My drink is just on a stool now.

Can we get in a mic? That's fucking red. Who are you playing for, Sean? So my favorite movie of all time, that's why I picked it so quick, is High Fidelity. So I'm playing for High Fidelity. And this, to me, is a perfect movie.

I mean, we could talk about this for a couple hours if you want. I assume you don't want to, but that's why I picked it. So, High Fidelity, Tony. Could you talk about it direct to camera for a few hours? Because that's what John Cusack does in that movie.

No, I got the joke, and I didn't like it. I picked up on it, and I chose to not like it, because it's the best movie ever made. Top five things about High Fidelity. Ooh! I think Laura was cast perfectly. The soundtrack is amazing.

Tim Robbins getting viciously beaten. Oh, yeah. Well, the whole Tim Robbins character, that whole scene where he goes, why don't we leave it there? I've already left it, you pathetic rebound fuck. Get your patchouli stink out of my store.

His name's Ian in it, which I didn't like. I'm like, oh, man. And he's got that ponytail. I didn't like him much then, and I fucking hate him now. I love that movie so much. Jack Black's character is perfect, and I guess what's the last thing?

I guess the skateboarders last thing? When they... I guess the skateboarders. I'll say skateboarders, just because there's skateboarders in there. So Vincent Justin. So yeah. There's my top five favorite things about High Fidelity. That Beta Band song is so good.

Dry the Rain? Dry the Rain, yeah. Watch me sell three EPs of the Beta Band. Watch me sell three EPs of... God damn it, something. And Dick leans in and he goes, Do it. I was gonna. That's why I said it, something. And Dick leans in and he goes, do it. I was gonna, that's why I said it.

Anyway, so yeah, high Fidel at Tony. You're gonna win, because these two don't know a lot about movies, you know what I'm talking about? Choking on a vitamin tablet. That's what that's like. Alright, well the gauntlet's been thrown down and Sean thinks he's gonna win. I do.

Wow. I've seen four total movies and it's Bohemian Rhapsody is three of them. So I think... All right. Let's play some games. All right.

We're right on schedule. Because everybody's got to get out of here to get their GOT on. Let's start with live, die, repeat. I will say the name of a movie. The first panelist to say it

back entirely and correctly is the winner of this game. You've all played this before, right? Please, no help. What are you doing? Get off me. What are you talking about? Fuck off me

Everybody in the audience Has been You know Really cool so far And so I assume That nobody's gonna help Try to

Give you guys the answer You're gonna give us the answer I'm gonna say it There's a guy back there I'm right Dude be cool. Terrible sequel to get shorty. Oh, be cool.

Be cool. Be cool. Yeah. All right, here goes. Diary. Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Diary of a mad black woman Diary Diary of a wimpy kid What'd you say?

Alright, nothing, keep going Diary Of A Wimpy kid Wimpy Kid Diary of a wimpy kid? Wimpy kid. Diary of a wimpy kid.

Diary of a wimpy kid dog. Diary of a wimpy kid dog days of summer? Diary

of Hey. days of summer? Diary of Hey, I've never had somebody say too many words. Diary of Diary of a wimpy kid dog day afternoon. Diary of a wimpy

kid dog Diary Shh A wimpy kid. Dog. Diary. Shh. Dog diary. That would be a crazy title. Diary of a wimpy kid. Dog diary.

Diary of a wimpy kid. I mean, I guess I should give it to you because you're right there. Diary of a Whippy Kid. Dog Days of Summer? Dog Days of Summer. Shut up! Say the full title.

Diary of a Whippy Kid Dog Days. Yes, you did it. David wins. Yeah, I've been doing those Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies because nobody knows what happens after the colon. Oh, no. I'm going to do it on the next show, too.

Dog Diary. Dog Diary. Dog Diary. The next one, just so you guys are listening, you'll know, you'll watch the people struggle. The next one's called Diary of a Wimpy Kid, The Long Haul. Yes!

Yeah, I'll do that on another show. I had no idea. But David won this time! Throw a donetti at your person of choice. Oh! Oh, shit!

That snag wasn't high. That was one of the more gangster things I've seen recently. I gotta go. I gotta leave. You know, when you have a high baseball cap on like that, I thought you might have lost it in the lights, but you just fucking snagged it. That was fucking laser focused.

Yeah, you took it away from that lady behind you. 100% you did. Fucking straight up Ozzie Smith that shit. He was the king. He was like, yuck, and then right in the mouth. Oh my God. That was tight.

Keep in mind, if you do catch one of these, we've touched them. I wouldn't eat anything we've touched. It's not even the only donut I've touched today. Next game,

ABCD's Nuts! I don't know if you guys have played this before. Sean has. It's a spelling game. David's going to go first, then Ian, then Sean. We are going to spell something, and by spell something I mean I'm going to tell you

I know what you mean. I know you know what you mean. You've or... I know you know what you mean. You've played this before. I'll tell you a word or series of words and then each letter, when it comes to you, you just have to name a movie that begins with that letter.

Oh, okay. And if you can't think of a movie that begins with that letter, that's sad. But... But if you match the one that I wrote down ahead of time, then you win the game automatically.

And I think one of you is going to match today. A theme will emerge. Because there's always a theme. Yeah. Yeah. And today, in honor of you guys, we are going to spell all fantasy everything. Ooh!

If one of you doesn't win by the time we get to V, I'm going to be very disappointed because I couldn't think of a movie that fits the theme that begins with V. Yeah. David, the first letter in all fantasy everything is A. David and David alone gets to name a movie that begins with the is A. David and David alone gets to name a movie

that begins with the letter A. A Bug's Life. That's a great one. Thank you. You jumped right in there. You didn't hesitate. That's not what I wrote down. I wrote down A wrinkle in time.

And to the gentleman who guessed Avatar, for one thing, shut up about Avatar. Because the next seven Avatar movies aren't coming out, maybe ever. But then also, don't guess from the audience. It's just between these guys. I know that the club is serving you alcohol and it's five o'clock

so this gets tricky. Serving me alcohol? I didn't say Avatar, you know what I mean? Say what? I said they're serving me alcohol. I didn't scream about it. Thank you. Sean's defending alcohol. What else? Sean just wants to go on the record. It's not alcohol's fault. Let's not to go on the record. I am defending alcohol. It's not alcohol's fault.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not throw alcohol under the bus. Alcohol didn't do it. Let's not throw alcohol under the bus that I have to ride because of alcohol. I've had so much alcohol today. I'm fine, you know? Ian, the next letter in all is, of course, the first of two L's. So the first movie is A Wrinkle in Time,

so I'm going to take a guess at the theme, which is kids. I'm going to go with Lolita. Okay. Wow. Even if the theme were kids, there is one young girl in Lolita, and I would never,

I mean, maybe I would, but I went with Labyrinth. Oh, okay, all right, cool. Yeah, so we got Winkle in Time and Labyrinth. Sean, you get the next L. That sounds like a bad thing when you say it. An L's a loss. This next L is coming to get you.

Lord of the Flies? Oh, that's interesting. Of course I said Legend. This next L is coming to get you. Lord of the Flies? Oh. That's interesting. Of course I said legend. All right. E is the next one for you, David. No, it is not. No, it's not.

Oh, sorry. I jumped to everything. Let's not forget the fantasy. Fantasy. Fantasia Oh! I almost I almost wrote that That wasn't it? I came so close to writing that I was like

no that's gonna fucking happen I don't want that to happen this early in the game I wrote Fantastic Beasts The Crimes of Grindelwald. Because who the fuck would say that? Who would remember that that's the whole

title? A, Ian. Aladdin. I mean, that would have worked out so perfectly. But I wrote Alice in Wonderland. N, Sean. And don't, don't, you know what I mean,

be cool. I don't know what you mean. I mean that you have to say a movie that begins with an N word. Holy cow. You just threw me all off. I don't know.

No Country for Old Men. I understand that's not the movie. I understand that has nothing to do with it, but it's a movie that starts with an N. It keeps you in the game. Keeps me in the game. Yeah, good job. What'd you say?

I said Night at the Museum. All right. T goes to you, David. Tron, that's a good one of course T is an interesting letter because you know so many movies begin with the so I went with the never

ending story yeah A again to you Ian and I can't take Aladdin again which I loved I mean you can I might have written I loved. I mean, you can. I might have written it down on the second A. You never know.

Avatar. Why do you keep saying Avatar? I told you not to speak. And yet you say a movie title of a film that I cannot stand. But I also wish I could get on the ride at

Animal Kingdom in Florida. Because I hear that Avatar ride's amazing. Yeah, that's why you keep saying it, you motherfucker. I knew you thought it was amazing. I'm gonna, since

we're so close to Anaheim, I'm going to take Angels in the Outfield. Oh! Man. What a dick. That was really good. That was really good. Thank you, my friend.

I went with Alice Through the Looking Glass. Good luck with S, Sean. Shaun of the Dead? I mean, obviously not, but, you know, it's got my name in it, it's a fun movie. Anyway, keeps me in the game. You did it all, except win this game. Because I went with Stardust.

I wasn't going to get that. Yeah. I'm not going to act like I did. Why is the next letter for... Is that a sneeze? Okay, cool. Whoa. Somebody sneezed like, whoo, like that.

Like a Missy Misdemeanor Elliott ad lib. Was it you, sir, with the top hat who sneezed like that? There's someone with a top hat out there? If you didn't have a top hat on, David wouldn't have said, is it you, sir, with the top hat? He would have just been, was it you? You have a top hat on. You got to throw sir on there for sure. You don't see it? I don you, sir, with the top hat? He would have just been, was it you? You have a top hat on. You got to throw a sir on there for sure.

You don't see it? I don't. That's a bowler hat. It's a bowler hat, you son of a bitch. David only knows what a pleather bucket hat looks like. Yeah. It's a bowler hat. It's not like a top hat like the Mad Hatter and Alice in Wonderland.

It's a bowler hat like the rapists in Clockwork Orange. Whoa! Holy bucket. Get it straight. Holy bucket hats. Wow. Cheese and rice. I thought you were going to say Dr. Watson. Oh yeah, good pull.

For the bowler hat. Not the rape thing You're right I just I associate those hats with Clockwork Orange Your letter is what? Why? For me?

I just wanted to double check I couldn't think of like a for the thing Young Guns I couldn't think of one. I wish Young Guns. I mean it's a

Young Guns is a fantasy but I went with Are you allowed to say the theme? Oh I think I just did. Yeah. Yeah I know. Yeah I think that was

well figured out. Yeah. I wrote Your Highness. Oh. Yeah. A lot of swords and sorcery and dragons I wrote Your Highness. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of swords and sorcery and dragons and that kind of stuff in all of the, you know, not to give it away. That was so loud.

Ian, your letter is E. Oh. Which you're familiar with because of sport, of course. Yeah. Of course, that's how you spell Ian. Ian. It's E-N-N-N. And I'm familiar with E for sport, of course. Yeah. Of course, that's how you spell Ian. Ian. It's Ian and an N. And I'm familiar with E for other reasons as well because of my,

you know, vital place in the Manchester dance hall scene. E. Aragon? That's a good fucking guess. That begins with an A, but that was a great guess. Oh, it does? I think it's E-R-A. No, you're right. It's an E. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was fun to make you feel dumb. I always feel dumb. He does not always feel dumb. No, I'm a very, very pompous person. I went with Excalibur. Oh! Sean V. So, there's a movie

and this will probably knock me out but is it Valerian? oh yeah Valerian and the City of a Thousand Lights or something like that a thousand cities of planets the city of a thousand planets

which makes no fucking sense that's what I was going to say was the full title Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, which makes no fucking sense. That's what I was going to say was the full title, Valyrian and the City of a Thousand Planets. I wish I had thought of that and written it down, but I just left it blank. Really? That was the one he couldn't figure out. Yeah, well, don't I kind of win then, huh?

No, you're still in, but you don't win. Don't I kind of win then? All right. Don't I kind of win then, though? Just wait until we get to Y. The next E, David. Another E movie. Shit, I'm Y.

Why'd you say Y? Emma? You're E, yeah. Because we skipped V. Oh, L. That movie L, E, L, L, E. Oh, speaking of rape. I've never seen it.

I've just seen the cover. It's a rape. Jeez. Don't say rape. Revenge? Revenge movie, yeah of rape. I've never seen it. I've just seen the cover. It's a rape... Jeez. Don't say rape. Revenge? Revenge movie, yeah. Oh. Yeah.

It's good. My mom wouldn't let me rent it. From the director of Starship Troopers and Robocop. What? Yeah. What a tangled web that is. Yeah. What did you say about?

I said, what did you say again? Oh, L. I said enchanted. Oh. I fell. Sure. R for Ian. R.

This gentleman guessed Revenge of the Nerds even though I'm begging you to stop fucking saying answers out loud. It's also super not on theme, you know? It's not on theme and it's also annoying. Shut the fuck up. Rampage?

I like it. You know. I like it. That big iguana ass thing is kind of a dragon. Yeah, I went with Red Sonja. Oh. I haven't seen Red Sonja. Why?

Sean, I apologize. It's just the luck of the draw. I couldn't come up with one. Good luck. Well, shit. I didn't think I was white just so soon. You've got mail. Oh!

I wish I could just give you the win for that. That's a great answer. We're back to David with tea. Yeah, I'm full of them. Tea. The Lord of the Rings. Oh! Doug, what are you...

That's a whole situation over here. Put it back up. I dropped the Rings. Doug, what are you... There's a whole situation over here. Can you put it back up? I dropped the sign. The whole situation. That's okay. That's all right. I said The Dark Crystal. Are you excited about the Netflix series coming out?

What? The Dark Crystal. They're making a series of Dark Crystal for Netflix? Like 2021? What did you write for why? Is that the same dude? I didn't write anything for why. And also, why are you speaking?

Can't be the same guy. That can't be the same guy talking this whole time. I don't know. I don't know if it's a new guy, but he's in the same area so they're probably friends. They're probably buddies that came down and go, hey, let's just say stuff the whole time. It's wild.

Want to go down to the conversation club and see a show? H, Ian. Oh, alright. Ooh, I might win on my next pick. Because Ian's going to blow it. Shut up, dude. I really thought you guys would match

by this point. We're getting there. This one's a hard one. I'm going to stay in the game. Happy feet. I wrote happy feet too. Damn it! I didn't do that. There's no way that it! I didn't do that.

There's no way that happened. I didn't do that. That's not a... I mean, it is a fantasy because penguins don't talk or dance. My fantasy. Yeah, exactly. I wrote, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

Which would have been tough to get. That would have been a pull. Tough to get. I to you there, Sean. This is over. Ian. I don't know if it is. Eye robot? No. Into the woods.

That does not. Starring James Corden. As the baker. Corden's in Into the Woods? Yeah, dude. Oh, he is? Alright. Also, were you just going to say that does not start with I? No, I was going to say it doesn't fit the theme. I was furious for a second. I've since calmed down.

He started doing push-ups, but while holding two machetes, it was crazy. For the listeners at home. Yeah, it's a fantasy movie with monsters. Yeah, yeah. It certainly is. Yeah, it's a little bit of a reach, but I don't have anything for N. What do you have? Ninja Scroll. Hell yeah. I don't have anything for N. What do you have? Ninja Scroll.

Hell yeah. I thought I was talking to Sean. Why would I answer for N? What? I just hit the I. Oh, you did? Yeah, he said I robot. And you go Ninja Scroll?

Yeah. I mean, like I said, I didn't write down anything. G for, this is a very anticlimactic game because your letter is G, Ian. Yeah. And I wrote something there's no way you will say. Gattaca? What?

That's what I was thinking! No, it is not. That's not what I wrote. I wrote, there's a movie called Guinevere. Oh! Which sounds like a sword and sorcery kind of thing.

Guinevere. Yeah. Yeah. But congratulations, you all lasted through the of thing. Gwyneth here. Yeah. Yeah. But congratulations. You all lasted through the whole thing, and yet no one won. Aw. Yeah.

That doesn't really happen a lot. I'm sorry, Mark. So that leads us to a very exciting conclusion and a game of Last Man Stanton. Nice. Nice. Do we fight? Yeah.

We fight. Blood sport. Blood sport. This is where I go to a member of the audience who's been pre-selected and doesn't yell out Avatar every ten minutes.

And that person is going to tell us the name of an actor or actress. And then David's going to go first naming movies that that person's been in. I'll go second because I like to play along. Tell us the name of the actor or actress, and then David's going to go first, naming movies that that person's been in.

I'll go second because I like to play along, but I cannot win. I'm just here to spoil. I'm going to win. And then Sean's going to win. I mean, Sean's next, and then Ian, and we'll go around until you can't think of one, and then you can go to your lifeline,

which is the person whose name tag you chose. So, David, you can go to your lifeline, which is the person whose name tag you chose. So David, you can go to Justin, Ian can go to Mark, and Sean can go to... Fidelitone. Hi, fucking Fidelitone. Fidelitone. My boy. And if that person can't help you, if they're like, I cannot help you, then you can take out your phone.

No way! I've never heard this. And call someone. I didn't get the... But it has to be a celebrity. Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Are you serious? Yeah.

That's how I've gotten... On the last episode... Or a few episodes ago, we got, like, Nick Swartzen and Bob Saget. It's how we get celebrities on the show that aren't here to do the show. But it's, you know...

You guys are the three biggest celebrities I know. I'm serious. Well, now that you mention it, you could call me. But that would be weird. All right, all right, all right. Are you really going through your phone figuring out who to call?

I got so shook You really shook me It's unlikely to come to that Because you're going to win, remember? I'm going to call Jerry O'Connell You have his number? From New York when we did this He just gave you his number when you were on the show together?

You're so lovable He goes, you live in Portland Thank you, holy buckets, thank you He goes, you live in Portland We Thank you. Holy buckets. Thank you. He goes, you live in Portland. We should hang out. And I was like, yeah. He goes, give me your phone. And he put his number in there.

And I was like, are you fucking serious? And then he texted me a week later. And he's like, hey, I'm in Portland. Where are you at? And I was like, I'm not. I was in Madison or something. That was it. That's the end of our friendship.

But we're going to rekindle it tonight when I can fake not think of an answer. So I have to call Jerry O'Connell. Just text him and say, stand by me. Avatar. Now you're saying it? Now it's him again. All right.

So the person who volunteered on Twitter to help us out today goes by the name ReindeerGames91. Alright. There he is. Oh, shit. This comes up all the time on this show.

I'm extra good at it because we play it so much. It's pretty funny because we love The Rock. We do. Do you know that from listening to them that they love him? Can we name individual ballers episodes, or is that not okay? You know the titles of individual ballers episodes? I bet we could guess.

Las Vegas. Yeah, yeah. Cocaine blowout. Expensive suit vest. Bought the mall. Monster truck. It barely fits, but I'll wear it. I'm pretty sure there's an episode of bitches be tripping.

Yeah, for sure. He's on a speedboat. Travis Scott tub, because he was in a hot tub in one of those episodes. There was another episode called NFL Lowell. Yeah. I love thinking of Ballers episode title. That's a fun game. Have you ever ranked on All Fantasy Everything Ballers episodes?

No, but we should. It feels like the net isn't cast wide enough for Ballers yet for that to work. Also, how do you rank your kids? Yeah, exactly. Ballers is entourage if everyone was less likable. I'm saying, well, if they were less

problematic. Entourage is very problematic when you go... Still pretty problematic, but less problematic. Oh, yeah. Ballers is, you know, they cover, they try to cover all the bases. I feel like every time we say ballers, everyone in this room is like, I don't know what that is. I don't pay attention to it. I thought of another ballers episode name.

Chili Concussion. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. Elizabeth Warren loves ballers. What? Yeah. Really? She loves it.

She, like, has tweeted about it, and they sent her a signed script. She loves it. And if that's not reason enough to vote for it, I can't help you. I don't know what else to say. Okay. Where did I say we were going to start, David?

Go ahead and start us off. We're naming movies that Dwayne, whether he's credited as The Rock or Dwayne Johnson or Dwayne the Rock Johnson, because I think he's all of those. Yeah. Any of those movies. The Rundown.

Nice. Who said, oh no, that movie's so good. It's a good one. It is. It's one of his best ones. Have you ever ranked his movies? No, we should, though. We really should. Yeah.

Ian? Oh, hell yeah. I thought you were going to go next. Oh, did I say I'd go next? I'll go next. I'm happy to. I'm happy feet to. But I just... It wouldn't be funny

in any other situation. It was so funny right there. I'm happy feet to. I think it already came up On the show today I think I referenced it Be cool Yeah I don't know

The Rock was in that I guess Dwayne was probably In that huh It's quite a departure For him Yeah His role in that Was he like a

Beefy bodyguard kind of guy Yeah but I think He's gay in it Yeah and he's a cowboy Yeah Gay cowboy So gay Yeah I didn't say it wasn't I was kidding I know I was bodyguard kind of guy? Yeah, but I think he's gay in it? Yeah, and he's a cowboy. Yeah, gay cowboy. So gay. I didn't say it wasn't. I was kidding. I know. Come on, guys.

Be cool. Skyscraper. Yeah, of course. Ian? For the second time today, Rampage. And for the fourth or fifth time on this podcast, Skyscraper is Rampage Without a Monkey. Doom.

Doom. I never would have pulled that one. Hell yeah. Jeez. Very good. I like it. I'm going to say The Tooth Fairy. Mm-hmm.

Walking Tall? I mean, a couple more people could have clapped. Wouldn't it kill a couple people to be like, yeah, it's a good movie. It's a dope movie. Jumanji. What did you have? People in the audience want the full title.

God, really? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Southland Tales. Jumanji. Fast Five. Nobody likes that movie. It's a good movie.

It's a good movie. It's a great movie and a great description of a hand job. What was it you tried to say? Oh, Jumanji? Jumanji. Welcome to the jungle.

Oh! Oh! Ah. Can I say Hobbs vs. Shaw It's not out yet bro I'm asking Doug Ian Can you do what

Can I say Hobbs vs. Shaw What's that The The one that's not out yet Why would you do that He's in a million Fucking movies

I'm just doing it for fun I can't do it It's not fun Alright You're getting the vibe That it's not It's making me sad. I'm having a bit of...

All right. What do we got, Tom? I do look forward to that movie, though. You're going to your lifeline? I am. Holy shit. Moana. Moana.

He went Moana. Nice. Moana. Me? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I... Oh, okay.

Isn't... isn't he in is it too early to be going to isn't he in I'm worried I'm gonna lose it might be you might wanna go

to your lifeline you don't wanna say a wrong answer all that shit I talked I'm over here worried I'm gonna lose so I'm in my own world for a second

yeah old boys in so many movies I think David knows what's up oh alright okay he's my favorite to win at this point fuck David but Ian do you wanna go I think David knows what's up. Oh, all right. Okay. All right. He's my favorite to win at this point.

Fuck David. But Ian, do you want to go to your lifeline, Ian, or do you want to pull something out of your ass? The remake of Escape from Witch Mountain. Yeah. Yeah. Good job. Yes.

But I have a question. Escape from which mountain? Do you know exactly which mountain? There he goes. There it is. Somebody found the on switch. David. Gridiron Gang.

Oh, that's a great one to pull out. Totally forgettable. I'm going to go with Watch Me Work. Just like a couple people ago, I was like, there's a million of them And then when it gets to me I'm like what

What the fuck Pain and gain San Andreas Which is Rampage And Skyscraper which is which is rampage and skyscraper without a monkey ian was about to say i like that movie you were gonna say you like that i didn't mind it either yeah i really didn't mind it we're pretty dumb though i do like it when it comes to san andreas i can't fault either of you for liking it. This guy. You fucking hurt me. This guy.

This show is almost over, so you better enjoy it while it lasts. This fucking guy. Avatar. I'm going to use my lifeline. What do you got? Here we go. Lifeline. Huh? The other guys.

The other Guys! Nice! Hell yeah, dude. That movie's good as hell, too. Yeah, but we're dumb, though. Yeah, we are dumb. I thought that movie was The Otter Guys, and I was so excited to see Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg as otters.

As a very specific type of gay fetish? Would have been, oh, that would have been so neat. Otters. Skinny guys, but hairy. Like a bear, it's like a skinnier bear. In my younger days, I was called an otter a couple times. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm a bear. I've since put on a couple pounds, and I don't think I'm an otter anymore. No. I'm something in between. A beaver. You're a sea lion. I'm a sea lion. You are a beaver, yeah.

I am a beaver. All right. Who's up? It's my turn. sea lion. I'm a sea lion. You are a beaver. Yeah, I'm a beaver. Alright. Who's up? It's my turn. Dougie, you're still up? Yeah. Damn. I'm not feeling good about it. I get these titles wrong sometimes, but I'm gonna say... Oh, it's David's turn?

Thank you. That was a close one. Just over here dry snitching on David. Alright, I get it. That's a wet snitch. That's a close one. Just over here dry snitching on David? All right, I get it. That's a wet snitch. That's a wet snitch. I'm going to say Fate of the Furious.

Damn, dude. That's impressive, man. I'm going to try to say Oh, fuck. I'm gonna try to say oh fuck shit's so complicated did they just go furious seven they did yay

Sean They did? Yay! Sean. Fast and the Furious 6? I don't know if that's what it was called. I don't think that's the name. Yeah. I don't think so either. Have you used your lifeline? That's why I said it like that. Did you already use your lifeline?

I did. Sean. It's not good enough. You're out. Can't have that. All right, I'm out.eline? I did. Sean. It's not good enough. You're out. Can't have that. All right, I'm out. Sorry, Tone. I know.

I talked a lot of shit. He was going to win. That's when people lose is when they talk a lot of shit. And when they're not that good. You better not be pulling your phone out. Oh. What are you doing with your phone, Ian? I'm going to call a celebrity.

You don't want to use your lifeline? You already used your lifeline Can we call a celebrity anyways? I mean, I would love for you to do it No, now it's four Who are you going to call, Ian? I wasn't sure yet The Ghostbusters, you can't, you know You know the Ghostbusters?

I don't know I was right? You know the Ghostbusters? I was right? Fast and Furious 6 is right? Oh! Alright, Sean's still in. Hell yeah. I'm going to fucking win. Got this.

Oh, I just saw the one. No, what a psycho. Anything? Nah, I'm out. All right, Ian's out. David? I'm only using my life on it. Yeah, go for it. All right, Ian's out. David? I'm only using my life on it. Yeah, go for it.

All right, Justin. Justin. Do you want to call a celebrity? What? I have two, but do you want to call a celebrity instead? Why would you want to call a celebrity if you have two options? I've never seen one. Just give him one. Baywatch.

Okay. Baywatch! You seem pretty smart. Are you from Central Intelligence? Oh. That's right. That's right. I'm out.

David? David's going to win. Cheese and rice. I got to try to call a celebrity? No, you won already. No, you're good. Now you're just trying to beat Doug. You're the winner, but if you have one more,

that'd be fine. Oh, ah. He wasn't in Tokyo Drift. I'm out. Why did none of you say Scorpion King? Oh! I'll tell you why none of us said Scorpion King,

because we were waiting for you to yell it out when we didn't ask you to. We were hoping someone would jump in with some shit. I said Walking Tall, you idiot. Walking Taller is not

a movie. The second Walking Tall has Danny Trejo in it. Yeah. But go ahead. Now yell at us. Oh, he was in Get Smart? Hell yeah. I said Tooth Fairy. Oh, yeah.

The pacifier was Vin Diesel, you idiot. I thought about it too. Anyway, I was like, yeah, the pacifier. Yeah, I know. You moron. I thought about the pacifier. How could you confuse two lunk-headed fools

in stupid comedy? Two oafs. T.I. Joe, rise and go. Nice. Damn. Any more? Faster. Fast what?

Faster. Faster? It's just a movie called Faster? That's not how that works. What's that one? Oh, Snitch. He's just a movie called Faster? That's not how that works. What's that one? Oh, Snitch. He was in a movie called Snitch. The Mummy Returns.

That was the sequel to Fast Five was Faster. No, it wasn't. You're right, it wasn't. Faster is a movie about Ramadan, dude. Come on, get with it. But anyway, David Gabori is our winner. Wow. Oh. Pew, pew, pewi is our winner! Wow. Where's Justin at?

Oh, he's right there. Oh my God, yeah, you were involved there to the end. David, could you take those to Justin? Congratulations, Justin. Great job. could you take those to Justin? Congratulations Justin. Great job. Oh shit I just stepped on Peter Dinklage's dink.

Hell yeah. There you go. Split it up in the car. You want this back right? Peter Dinklage, Peter Dinklage, Peter Dinklage. I'll sign it. Are you kidding me? Or just meet me at the merch table and I'll sign it. God, you look like you just murdered him so hard.

You're just picking him up by his broken ankles. Oh, this is interesting. You wrote on the back, Third Eye Raven is not a shithead. I don't know what that is, but that's cool. Everybody else is a shithead. Everyone's a suspect. I'm sorry, you can't have it back. He wants to stay with me.

I'm going to adopt Peter Dinklage. There's no shithead on the back of this. Can I have Tony write one if he wants to? No, we don't do shitheads anymore. We're all about positivity now. Good, I love that. Hell yeah. I could not be more into that.

That's sick. Let's do some plugs real quick. Sean, what love that. Me too. Yeah, I could not be more into that. That's sick. Let's do some plugs real quick. Sean, what do you got to plug besides, of course, all fantasy everything? Right. I released an album. It's called The Buck Starts Here. You can get anywhere. You can get albums. iTunes and all that. And we're also doing a live

AFV tour that I imagine Ian's going to cover all the dates on. So come to this tour that Ian's about to talk about in a second. All Fantasy Everything. I'm Ian Carmel, at Ian Carmel on Twitter, at Ian Carmel on Instagram. Check it out. The All Fantasy Everything tour is this summer, the Summer Breeze tour.

June 26th, Seattle. June 27th, San Francisco. July 11th, Boston. July 12th, Brooklyn. July 13th, we're in D.C. July 14th, we're in Philly. July 13th, we're in D.C. July 14th, we're in Philly. July 18th, we're in Minneapolis. Just booked the guest for Minneapolis. It's going to be insane.

Somebody get hit in the face? July 19th, Chicago. July 20th, Columbus. July 21st, Detroit, Michigan. Follow our Twitter for the ticket links and everything. We did just book a guest in Minneapolis in Holy Buckets. It's going to be a fun tour. I guess that one's sold out already anyway.

We're going to have tight guests for the whole tour. Come fuck with us. It's going to be fun. Somebody died. That's the Avatar guy? You're Avatar? Yeah, Avatar guy. So fucked up, when I threw him a donut, he fell out of his chair.

I get that. I get that. I'm right there, Avatar. I've been falling out of this chair for two hours. David Mori. Oh, yeah, Go to that tour at the G Silent Talk on Twitter. Oh, June 17th

and 18th, I'm going to be in the Blue Room in Springfield, Missouri. Nice. One more time for all my guests. Sean Jordan. Ian Carmel. David Borey. Sit tight, fellas. I'll be at Hyena's in Dallas on Saturday, June 15th, David Borey. Sit tight, fellas.

I'll be at Hyenas in Dallas on Saturday, June 15th, and Hyenas in Fort Worth on Sunday, June 16th. And thank you to the Brea Improv and to everybody for coming out and to James Cameron for eventually making more Avatar movies so this guy will have a reason to live. eventually making more Avatar movies so this guy will have a reason to live.

And as always, positive energy! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies!