Doug Loves Movies - Iliza Shlesinger, Lamorne Morris, Scoot McNairy and Adam Herschman guest

Episode Date: June 27, 2018

Back home at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Iliza Shlesinger, Lamorne Morris, Scoot McNairy and Adam Herschman to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today's show is brought to you in part by Gunpowder and Sky's new film Hearts Beat Loud. Nick Offerman and Kiersey Clemons star as father and daughter songwriting duo that become an overnight success. Variety calls the film a ballad that everyone can hum to. Hearts Beat Loud, selected as the closing night film at this year's Sundance Film Festival, is now playing in select theaters. Enjoy the show! Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth.

There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug loves movies! Please. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Blanche the dog, and I love movies. This is Blanche the dog, and I love movies. I tried to cover her ears for all the yelling. What's this guy up to? It's a good thing we have a guard dog.

And we're coming to you once again from our OG location. You okay? Her owner insisted that she would be fine with sitting on this table. I was like, I don't know. It's going to be scary. We're at the UCB Franklin location

in Los Angeles, California. And one of my guests has a dog named Blanche and she's here on the table. And I'll try to get through this quickly, Blanche, so we can get her out here. You won't feel so weird. You probably feel like this is going to be some sort of... Welcome to... This lesson on dog... neutering.

Hey! Oh, shit. Where are you trying to go? What are you trying to Hi. Oh, shit. Where are you trying to go? What are you trying to do? Oh, my God. Such a cutie. Hey, listen, Blanche, did you know that, um, that I got some

Doug plugs? Saturday. Yeah, you're right. This Doug plugs. Saturday. Yeah, you're right. This is an interesting Saturday. Doug Loves Movies comes to the Rex Theater in Pittsburgh at 420. And July 7th, we are doing it at 420 at the Funny Bone in Columbus, Ohio. And on July 8th, I'm doing stand-up at Go Bananas in Cincinnati at 420. And then at Doug Loves Movies taping at 8. Separate

admission required Blanche. Listen up. But we'll see you at McClevey's next door during the break and I'm doing a Dabs Day show at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase in, where do you think that is Blanche? Ann Arbor.

Good guess Blanche. Ann Arbor. Good guess, Blanche. Ann Arbor, Michigan. For all my dates, deets, and links, I've got to cover her ears again. Go to DouglasMovies.com. That's DouglasMovies.com! Yeah! Oh, my God.

She's so scared of all the yelling. Let's get a dog on a table and just yell at her. It's a whole audience of yelling. Now, let's bring in dog on a table and just yell at her. It's a whole audience of yelling. Now let's bring in your competitor, Blanche. Just bring in another dog, put them both on the table. First one to fall off wins. All right, so from the corrections department, Donald Sutherland was not in Cabaloo,

and the Jim Carrey movie is called Rubber Face, not Funny Face. And it's a fucking TV movie. I'll talk about what I brought for the prize bag once I get the guests out here because I'm just dying to get Blanche some comfort. This is like a fucking dog on the 4th of July.

Have you seen Sarah Silverman tweeting about how bad she is at people that shoot off fireworks because it scares dogs? And I gotta say, I agree. Anytime you spend time with a dog during fireworks it's just like, it's not worth it. We've all seen fireworks. Watch them on TV.

Do they bother you when they're on TV, Blanche? No, no they don't. Let's get my guests out here. Please welcome Adam Hirschman, Lamorne Morris, Scoot McNary, and Eliza Schlesinger! There she is. There she is. There she is.

Oh, my God. Thank you. Well, yeah, Blanche did not like that at all. She was not happy to be on the table. But thank you for bringing her along, as always. You don't go anywhere without her. You can keep your microphone, or do you want to hand her off, or what do you want to do? Yeah, hey, Noah.

Okay. Yeah, Noah, come get the Blanche. Noah, can you please come up here? Noah, thank you. Oh, there you go. Bye, Blanche. Well, that worked out great. Let's meet my guests individually,

starting with Eliza, everybody. It's Eliza Schlesinger. Hi, guys. Boom. Hi. You just got straight up Eliza on Twitter. I think you really are in the zone to just be only go by Eliza.

Yeah, I grabbed it. I think you can really do that. But yeah, why didn't you just get Lamorne? What went wrong there? Why didn't you just get Scoot? Why didn't you just get Adam? That's obvious. All right, so back to Eliza.

Netflix special next month, July 24th. Yeah. That'll come out and it's called... Elder Millennial. Elder... I wanted to say it. Oh, sorry. I thought you didn't know.

I thought I was helping you. No, I was going to... You're right. Congratulations. That's a big deal. You can always tell in someone's eyes when they don't know your name or something like that. So I always try to jump in

I was excited to try to come up with the last minute and I thought I might say another title that would be fun no if I got your title wrong

low key insulting Blanche's mom yeah yeah I always want to put mom in a title yeah mother

so that's coming out next month and congratulations on that and thank you for being here and thanks for taking my text you're always very I took her text

I texted him last week she's like I want to be on the show again I'm like okay that's how Hollywood works folks crazy negotiating goes on all the time wheeling and dealing

and but you're fired up you're a strong competitor you like you like to win and you say you've won every time you've been on

is that true don't say it like that you say victim claims you've won three times yeah that was the first thing I said when you walked in

six minutes ago I was like hey hair I've won three times yeah you were really you let everybody know because you're you like to intimidate because I'm not a movie buff

so it's crazy to me that I've won three times. But now I have something to prove. All right. Not today, motherfucker. Fair enough. Oh, shit. So aggressive for someone I don't know.

Yeah, yeah. You'll get fucked up today, dog. No disrespect, my nigga. I'm going to fuck you up, dog. This is a room of white liberals. Even you can't say the N-word without us getting offended for you. So offended. So please.

I'm so offended. We're at UCB Franklin. We don't see color. It is rather dark back there. I'm looking at the lack of color in this room. There's two. Found them. Say the N-word,

then point them out. Great, okay. My niggas. And I literally know both of them. You bring, in a situation like this, you bring a demographic. I have to.

You bring something different to the table. Oh, they're laughing so we can all laugh. I get it. Everybody's looking at them like, it's cool, right? These jokes don't hurt?

All right, so might as well say hi to them now. That's Lamorne Morris, everybody. Dude, so funny in Game Night, which came out earlier this year. Thank you. Yeah, that was awesome. Thank you. My friend Jeff Tate,

I didn't say I'm going to see Game Night. I go, did you see Game Night? And he writes back, loved it. And then he quotes a line that you say in the movie that it completely ruins it if you know that line is coming ah fuck

yeah right and so I was so mad at him because it's a really funny line but as you were saying it I'm like that's where god damn it

that's the twist I knew you were going to say it right when you said it but it's about a table yeah yeah it's really

it's well set up and well delivered and Jeff Tate ruined it. All right. So, but thank you for being back on the show. You are also claiming

to be three for three. You don't, I don't, I think I lost once. Okay. You said two backstage. Okay. All right.

There you go. So he might have, he might, he might tie it up with you tonight, Eliza, if he, if he pulls this off.

Plus it's, plus it's, of course, it's with you tonight, Eliza, if he pulls this off. Plus it's... Plus, of course, there's four competitors tonight, which always throws a wrench into the whole thing and makes it more difficult. Joining us for the first time ever, it's Adam Hirschman, everybody. You guys don't mean that.

You totally don't mean that. Thank you very much. I just want to say, I didn't even know this was a game. What? So I'm excited to be here. I love games. Oh, okay. Well, I'm glad you love them because you just found out.

And that would be bad. No, seriously, I did. I did. Normally we don't do games. But since Lamorne is here from the film Game Night, it's some real cool retroactive promotion. Like, we're promoting a movie that's already been out. It's

finished its run. I even saw it at the end of the run because I wanted to see it on the big screen and I, you know, I knew when it was going to leave theaters and I why am I telling you this story? You knew when it was going to leave theaters? I knew, yeah. I was like, oh shit, it's not going to be playing this place.

You got a text. It's leaving tomorrow. I'm there tonight. It's not going to be in multiplexes as of Friday, so I ran out and saw it on a Thursday. And I don't have a movie pass either. I paid.

Oh, thank you, man. I appreciate that. I really do appreciate that. I used my movie pass. Listen, Zen Dog is your latest endeavor. Yes, thank you very much.

Yeah. You guys all, I'm sure you've all seen it. Thank you so much. Thank you. It's been out for a second, but I appreciate you still coming by, even though it's already been out.

And you're, of course, in Accepted and Bucky Larson. And this one is interesting to me you're uncredited as Jerry Garcia in Walk Hard the Dewey Cox story

Thank you very much it's very true I am on the DVD special features my best work has never Thank you very much. It's very true. I am on the DVD special features. Oh, okay. My best work has never been seen. And so is my worst work. Oh, those are the perfect two. That's all I do.

Best and worst at once. Thank you. That's why I'm here. Good night. Thank you for coming. And I wish you could have stuck around. Thank you for coming, and I wish you could have stuck around. Joining us for the first time in L.A., I think,

he's been on the show in Austin, Texas, and Atlanta, Georgia, because he's always running around filming something somewhere. It's Scoot McNary, everybody. Thank you. In Los Angeles, making a movie called Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. It's got... It's got amazing actors in it, only

one of which is on the stage right now, but... Yeah, and it's you, right? Like, you're acting like you might not have anything to say about this this project is it really on lockdown you can't say shit about it he's nodding he's nodding that he can't speak at all so this is gonna be an interesting episode of my show might as well be Blanche sitting over there but so how long you in town for can you say that it's not a reality so we're not gonna figure out when you get eliminated I'm there for about another week and a half oh okay cool and give it up for a week and a half, everybody. A week and a half, everybody. Hey!

That's 10 days. Or 11. And you work all the time. Is there something lined up next after this thing? Or do you have a break or something? Do you work not with Brad Pitt and Leo DiCaprio ever? Yes. And no.

This is awesome. I think I follow that. They do other movies and I think I'm going off to work on something. Yes, I'm going off to work on something in July. Is it for the government?

Kind of. kind of I'm not just an actor yeah okay cool cool hang he's also a farmer he's also a farmer

that's not that worried about fracking was that what it was were you pro fracking or anti fracking in that not that worried about fracking. Was that what it was? Were you pro-fracking or anti-fracking in that Sean Krasinski fracking movie? I was anti-fracking. Oh, you were anti-fracking. Yeah, you were super pissed about fracking.

That was a fracking movie? Yeah. Well, I mean, that's a rude way to refer to it. It was a fracking movie. I can't believe I sat through that whole fracking movie. I can't believe I sat through that whole fracking movie Oh frack But thanks for coming here and taking my abuse And tell us one thing about Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

What's one thing you can say about it? Is the catering good? The catering is vegetarian There you go, Steve That's a clue That's a clue That's a clue, y'all Week and a half, that's a clue

You have ten days to decide You wear a cape, you wear tights What's up? No? Not Marvel? DC? DC Marvel? Marvel DC? No? DC Marvel? Marvel DC? No? DC Marvel?

Marvel DC. Marvel? Or DC? Marvel. Disney? Fox? Disney. Marvel. MCU? MC Hammer. I always felt it was tough to get a word in with comedians. But you guys are going to prove me wrong tonight.

What'd you bring for the prize bag, dude? Are we doing that already? Yeah. Already? It's so early in the show. It goes by quicker here. It's over. Everything goes faster in L.A.

I got... Looks like you just came over from Is that browns? What? A bottle of Bread and butter What is that even? For those of you listening at home, it's a wine

It's not reconstituted bread and butter But it's called bread and butter? I have Some white trident. That's probably perfect after some bread and butter wine. But even better... Uh-oh. After some raspberry soap.

Raspberry soap? Oh, shit. Right into... Did you just rob somebody on your way here? leads right into Did you just rob somebody on your way here? Which slowly rolls into a Zippo lighter that says Lucky.

And while you indulge in the Summer of Love package, you get to watch Martin Scorsese presents Naked in New York. you get to watch Martin Scorsese presents Naked in New York. Dude, that's like my Friday night. It's going to be somebody else's Friday night too.

That is really a wonderful prize bag. It's perfect for, I feel like we're on Price is Right Showcase Showdown. And I'm going to guess retail I'm going to guess retail value $65 and 83 cents.

Is my guess. $1. Yeah, oh, pass it over. Thank you. Yeah, I was joking around saying, oh, looks like somebody went to Gelson's. But yep, that's what he did. Only the bag is from Gelson's, though. Los Angeles.

All right. Eliza, what do you have for us? I don't want to follow that. That's a whole thing. You thinking about getting rid of Blanche? I was about to say. I brought a Schindler's List DVD. Oh.

Because this is a very important movie. The memories. And if you haven't seen it, you're a bad person. I went ahead and signed it for you. Oh, that's nice.

Hashtag never forget. Never forget I gave you this classic movie. And the disclaimer of I'm Jewish. I was like, okay, but you need this. Also, my assistant had it. So I signed it. And the disclaimer of I'm Jewish. I was like, okay, but you need this.

Also, my assistant had it, so I signed it. And then, on a personal note, I brought some resin pins from Eliza.com. Thank you, my one fan. Two things from the act and my dog Blanche. These are pretty expensive, so I brought them.

I had to make my own back for one of the pins because it fell off. Because I took it for myself, for my jacket. But I put my own back for one of the pins because it fell off because I took it for myself for my jacket but I put my own back so these lovely pins and the Schindler's List limited edition great DVD, it's a CD of Schindler's List I brought a copy of one of my albums

and a Douglas movie sticker and I was just in Vancouver so I got a copy of Vancouver where where magazine Vancouver

where I had a great time there Lamorne what do you got you brought a bag as well I'm gonna be honest with you I did not bring a bag. He brought a bag. I gave him one of my bags.

What? One of your signature Gelson bags? Mm-hmm. I do apologize. I really forgot what the program was. And I just grabbed some shit that I had on me. And, you know. I think it's going to be great.

It's a couple Jolly Ranchers. Anybody need a move for grape? Grape, black people. Or cherry, or as black people call it, red. And a Twitter hat. And a Twitter hat. Black Twitter? Black Twitter hat.

Are you going to sign that hat? Or the Jolly Rancher? Can you sign the Jolly Rancher? I can't sign the Jolly Rancher hat Are you gonna sign that hat Or the Jolly Rancher Can you sign the Jolly Rancher I can't sign the Jolly Rancher I can't sign the hat though So yeah that's all I got man I got these things So please don't take them

Here sign the hat A nigga head get cold fast Here we go All right Oh he's Really writing a lot on there. The longest name ever. All right.

Blacktwitter.com. .net. Bird hand. It feels like we're at a draft. I brought a Douglas Movies t-shirt And um Those jolly ranchers though Oh shit

We got a rancher down And uh What do you got there Adam Had I known we could just bring garbage I would have brought you all my garbage. But I didn't fucking know that you could bring garbage. So I brought you a movie that I was in. Which some people say is garbage.

But it's not. It's a DVD of Zendog. Oh, Zendog. Let me just get that. And it's autographed. You signed it and everything. And I brought you three more in three padded envelopes in case you have to ship them to your friends.

Oh. I'm pretty sure this is two more. Total three, but the other one is three. I'm not a numbers guy. I'm pretty sure this is two more. Total three, but the other one is three. I'm not a numbers guy. I'm the creative. The numbers guys at home. Can I just watch that online? You can watch it on

iTunes. So you could have just sent the link. I could have sent the link. You know strangely one place people can't watch it? If they're sitting in a theater behind Adam. Come on, that's a hair joke that... That is probably the best joke. It's un-hair-a-lelled.

Fuck, that's amazing. All right, and I'm going to give you this extra padded envelope for that joke. Okay, thank you very much. Now you give him an extra padded envelope for that joke. Okay, thank you very much. Now you give him an extra padded envelope. The padded envelopes are great. And like I said, I have tons of garbage. So if you're here tomorrow, I'll bring all my fucking garbage. Who wants garbage?

But I'm just going to toss these other two Zen dogs into the crowd, if you don't mind. Please, fucking throw them in there. Who wants a Zen dog? By the way, jump! Where? You want that one? Over there. It's 10.06, Alicia.

Careful. Yay. All right. Watch the dirt out of that. A lot of pointy edges on those things. DM me. Let me know how much you ate. Love it.

Wait, I'm the only one not drinking. God damn. Somebody got a beverage? I offered you a beer in the back, and you declined. Yeah, there's coolers back there. Do you really want something? I'll go get you a beer. No, I'm just going to stay parched.

No, no, no, no, no, no. You're good. You're good. God, you're so nice. You're good. You're good. You're good. I was never going to ask.

I brought this water for me. Yeah, I'll take that. Where is it? No, you tell me where it is. I got it. I know where they are. Of course you'll get it. You're so nice.

This is not how it's supposed to be. Wait, here's this. Uh-oh. Holy shit. That's Foster's supposed to be. Uh-oh. Wait, here's this. Uh-oh. Holy shit. That's Foster's Australian phobia. Australian phobia. Oh, fuck. I didn't even see that.

I didn't even see that. I didn't even see that. I didn't even see that. Look at my beard. Weird Al just came through quick. Your audience is amazing. My guests, not so much. They just leave during the show

He gone He's out of here There he is Thank you I appreciate that I just got me acting my skin color Getting drunk out here This is not what we do We drink water

Real quick before we get to the game portion of the show, do you need an opener? I have a lighter. Oh, there you go. That's the best way to open a bottle, set it on fire. I have a metal... What the fuck? Get off this.

You got some big-ass hands, man. What size are your hands? OJ size? So much comedy just for the live, the audience that's here. Don't forget to use your microphone voice, Lamar. Nah, they need to hear that. Okay, cool.

They ain't hear special treats for those who showed up. I know, Scoot scoot you're really busy shooting uh once upon a time in hollywood the most mysterious movie ever made um do you uh uh have you had a chance to see a movie lately have you seen anything like on a device or or in a theater um yes uh well, a dock. Yeah, okay. And I'm late to the show, but Staircase, I just discovered two weeks ago. And I discovered it, too, with the already added four new episodes onto it.

So I saw it as a whole. Wait, it's a movie? If you don't know about it, I don't want to tell you anything about it. It's a documentary series. Yeah, because you said there's like episodes. And it's 10 or 11 episodes or something?

It's not called Doug Loves Documentary Series. Be specific. But I trust that it's very cool if you like it and people are talking about it. Staircase. I mean, it came out 10 years ago, so people are kind of over talking about it now. Everyone is now talking about it. But they added. I mean, it came out 10 years ago, so, I mean, people are kind of over-talking about it now. Everyone is now talking about it. But they added more. But they added more, so.

They added more steps. Long-ass staircase. They added more stories. Now it reaches to heaven. Yeah. Someone got it. The people at home. All right.

But you're still recommending it for the people that are late Yes or who don't know I have no idea what you're talking about so I'm excited

You would love it It's really good Alright cool I saw the first two First two of them They got boring as fuck after that But I would imagine

that shit's gonna be fantastic It's like the more staircase you get No it's really good I fantastic. It's like the more staircase you get. No, it was really good. I've seen the first two. Eliza, what was the last movie you saw?

Last movie I saw was last night and I watched Broken Arrow. Johnny, John Travolta, aka the best Gotti ever captured on screen we've been on a like a

90s movie sort of crusade at a kick in my house so that's why I texted you because all last

week I watched like Heat Lethal Weapon which is more 80s what are you training for the show

I'm just getting we just started watching them face off, fugitive. Yeah, she's like, I've watched a lot of garbage. I think I can answer your silly questions. Yeah, and it was like five nights in,

and I was like, I'm going to text Doug. I've got to get back on that show, and that's why I'm here, only because I've been on this weird kick. All right, well. I hope you have a lot of 90s Nicolas Cage questions for me. That's what I appreciate about the heads up. Anything about John Woo?

No questions about the 90s. They're all about the 1930s. The golden age of film. Thank God I've been watching those. Who played Citizen Kane's sled? But I will say in theaters, I just saw Hereditary. Okay.

It is awful. Don't clap for it. Wait, so... Sheep. Do you like... But do you like that extra creepy shit? Love it. It is extra creepy, isn't it?

I just thought... I found it... It was dull for me. I didn't enjoy it. It was dull. The end, the last ten minutes... It's very long. It's two hours

and seven minutes long I got so much work done on my phone during the first second alright we do not condone that in movie theaters

or was that one where you're like the only person in the theater sure I love when that I love when that happens it was packed

I love when that happens because I will text like a motherfucker if I'm the only person it's like time for some live tweeting. I had a friend that used to go

between work shifts to see a movie and he would wear a suit and he would take off his pants because he didn't want to wrinkle them. And I was like, you just have to be careful

what movie that is. Or be comfortable. Yeah. Like, I've got to be comfortable. How do you do that? We're be comfortable. How do you do that? We're married now. How do you do that? Who cares about wrinkles?

No one cares about wrinkles. No one cares in LA about wrinkles for sure. Oh my God, if you have wrinkles, you're like in. Not if you're a girl. Not if you're a girl.

But if you're a Sharpay. Sharpay. So. Touché. Excellent counterpoint. Touché the Sharpay? Sharpay. So. Touche. Excellent counterpoint. Touche the Sharpay. Great point. Lamorne, what was the last movie you saw?

Say Game Night. Game Night. I watch my shit all the time. Did you see Game Night in a theater like you went to the premiere? I went to the premiere and then I went again with friends afterwards who didn't go to the premiere. Fun to see with a full crowd and everything. It was.

I wasn't really a fan of the movie. I'm just overcritical of myself. Right, sure. So I like watching and just going, I'm better than that. It was okay. It was okay. It was okay. My performance.

I don't like watching it. It's a Gilbert Godfrey. Yeah. That was all right. That. Why am I doing that? Nah, that was okay. No, that wasn't.

That's wrong. That wasn't. I saw. On the plane, I saw Red Sparrow. Red Sparrow. That's what I watched. Red Sparrow. Why am I spitting?

So glad I invoked his name. I'm shocked I knew who you were talking about. Can't believe I didn't like it. No slight on him. I was just, you know. Yeah. I was just going right to him.

Love, he's a god. It was okay. Jennifer Lawrence. She gets tortured a lot. She gets naked and tortured. That was the whole movie, essentially. Baba. It was strange.

It was a really strange movie to look at because that shit's real, man. What's real? People really go through that weird... What's this Red Sparrow? With Jennifer Lawrence, she's like a Russian spy. Oh, it's not real.

It is real. It's not a documentary reel. Nobody likes Staircase, reel. Nobody likes staircase, man. Nobody likes that shit. Did you just say not documentary reel? That's like the most real you can be. Answer me this, Scoot. What are you hauling in your big rig these days?

What's my big rig? You got a car. You got a real, you got a real truck driving look going right now. Honestly, I like to do jokes about people's appearance

on an audio podcast. I'll be honest, you walked in, I thought you were here to do work on the building. I've been mistaken as homeless five times in the last four months.

But he's so rich. Oh yeah. So rich. What are you going to do with all that change? What do you do? Go to Coin months. But he's so rich. Oh, yeah. So rich. What are you going to do with all that change? What do you do? Go to CoinStuff? He's so rich. We got 11 homes.

11 homes. All right, Adam. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. No, nothing. Okay. Moving on. Adam.

Moving on. Adam, what's the last movie you saw? Solo. Han Solo. A Star Wars story I get yeah Han Solo's Solo Solo's a Han

Han Solo's a Star Wars oh I thought Star Wars film Adam yes it's a Star Wars story it's a Star Wars

yes it was with Ron Howard just say it Ron Howard no he doesn't get that he doesn't have a place a Star Wars? Yes. It was with Ron Howard. Just say it. Ron Howard! No! He doesn't get that. He doesn't have a place to say it. A Star Wars film. What? I didn't

like it. You're gonna do great tonight. I didn't even know this was a game. I thought this was like an interview. I thought it was the only one here. I thought it was just you and I and Blanche. We're just fucking around. Talking about old days.

The derby. It's going to get intense. I'll talk you through it. Why are you drinking such a little water? The littlest water you could ever drink. It takes like three seconds. You've been drinking it for two hours. How long is it going to take you to finish that water?

It's like eight milliliters. Right, guys? Clap if you think you should drink it faster. Yeah, chug that water, Doug. Don't be such a puss. Doug the chug. Dude, I'm such an asshole about water. I'm sorry.

I'm a dick about water. I'm like, you should drink that faster. Finish your fucking beer. No, or don't. Maybe you have had enough. Just take it easy. For those of you at home, he's crying. But don't worry, Adam.

You're welcome to smuggle as many of those home as you can in your hair. It's a podcast. No one's seen me in eight years. It's been 19 years. It wasn't since Magnum P.I. at the last season since they've seen me and I...

Were you really on that? T.J. Hooker. I don't know. I feel like maybe you were. I did a two... I had a guest star on T.J. Hooker. When you were two? Yeah.

What? What? I was a child actor. I'm like Macaulay Culkin. He was just a ball of hair. Thank you. Adam, I'm like Macaulay Culkin. He was just a ball of hair. Thank you. Adam, I'm going to talk you through this. I really wish you luck tonight.

Eliza's going to win. People in the audience, I didn't ask earlier. I apologize for that. Brought name tags. And what I need each of you to do now is after I say, let the games begin, you have to go and select

a name tag from an audience member or somebody you'd like to play on behalf of. And if you win, they will win all of these fabulous prizes. So, yeah, right? It's difficult. Sometimes they bribe you with candy, vodka, marijuana. But go grab a name tag, you guys.

And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back after these messages. Today's show is brought to you in part by 4HIMS. It's easier to keep the hair you have than replace the hair you've lost. Take it for 4hims.com, a one-stop shop for hair loss, skin care, sexual wellness for men. With medical-grade solutions, real doctors, and well-known generic equivalents to name-brand prescriptions that can help you keep your hair, 4hims.com offers men easier, more affordable access to the prescriptions, products, and medical advice they need. These are not herbal supplements. These are prescription solutions backed by science.

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for hymns slash D-L-M. Back to the show. We're back! Look at this! So many to choose from. Great job, everybody. I saw yours on the internet. They're very good. Adam's got lots of candy

on his. Oh, man! There you go. Let me just take that off of there for you. But who wants some of these? They got the Trolley

sour mix crawlers. Have you had the M&M's caramel? Not in the blue. Did you draw a butthole on the Starburst? Yes. Gross. Oh, hers, yes. I ate it. So what does that say on it?

It says Candy Shack, a comedy that puts you, puts golf balls in your fucking... Listen, let's talk about your fucking mouth. Your fracking mouth. It puts fucking golf balls in your mouth, and then you've got like a gopher with two golf ball-sized nuts

and some Duracell batteries lighting the whole thing up with pink flamingos. You really went all out and accomplished nothing with this, really. But Adam chose it, and that's the important thing. And I have the weed, and that's the most important thing. But what is your name?

Your name's Candy? Yeah. Okay, thanks, Candy. Alright, are you still talking? Aww. What is it? It's a painting of Noob Noob from Okay, thanks Candy. Alright, are you still talking? Aww. What is it? It's a painting of Noob Noob from Rick and Morty. Alright. I guess we'll take it.

Did you make that painting? Yeah, I painted that too. Well, thank you for bringing it. Is it a stencil? Thank you for handing it to me. Can we re-hand? That was very rude to you. Really good. You just wanted to give some of the prize back and I was rude, so you. Really good.

You just wanted to give something to the prize bag and I was rude. That's really good, Doug. You apologize right away, you might get away with it. Is that how it works? Fuck you, Doug. Sorry. Alright, what do you got there, Lamorne?

I see some Kyle Kinane maybe on there. 300 Kyles to Graceland. I love it. So you got Kyle Chandler, Kyle McLaughlin, Kyle Mooney, and then Kyle, the guy who made the name tag? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I picked it because I...

Kyle Kinane. Is that Kyle McGregor? Yeah. Looks like Kyle McGregor. Yeah. I know Kyle Mooney and Chandler. So that's why I picked it.

Otherwise, it's just a bunch of dudes on the... There's nothing special about it. You even... The G fell off. You even... The G fell off of it too.

What the fuck is Raceland Raceland what are you trying to say wait a minute three thousand wait a minute that is not cool man

my bad is that Spike Lee's production company name three thousand miles to Raceland and a mule yes

yeah it's supposed to be three thousand but it is something special. Oh, it does say 300, doesn't it? Yeah. When I say nothing special about it, I didn't mean it like that. It was because it touched my heart enough

for me to get it. So you touched me, man. You touched me. And for that, I appreciate you touching me. Kyle touched me. 3,000 times. Okay, Eliza, what do you have? I have I, Shania.

Oh, that's beautiful. And this drawing is actually really good. That's a good drawing. He got her neck thickness and everything. Like that serious white trash stare. Like that competitive white trash stare. He got it. That's frameable art right there.

So your name is Sean? I nailed that. Yeah. I'd date her. That's frameable art right there. So your name is Sean? You nailed that. Yeah. I'd date her. She's got a temper. And I like the movie, so. Scoot likes a neck. Also his friend,

a thick neck. Like a thick neck. Redneck, like a thick neck. They were also right next to me and then his friend was like, pick his. And I was like, I can't ignore you

now that we've made eye contact. But it's really, it's cool. Excellent choice. And I ate the candy off his, so it's all good. Wait, when do we get more beer? Drink, we get, you have so many beers. I don't even drink beer. I was just being polite.

It was part of his gift. Well, you picked the wrong sign. Oh, the beer came with the sign? The beer came with the sign. The beer came with the sign. That's why I picked Jose. That's amazing. Jose spotting. Look at the graphics.

I've spotted Jose. And that's Doug. Yeah, I'm in there. You're all right. Yeah, Jeff Tate, Sam Levine, and Sarah Silverman. Man, you look good. Yeah, I should have been in that movie. Wait, was Sarah in that?

No. Sarah? No. Sarah? Maybe. Sarah? She wasn't in that. Sarah wasn't in that. All right, so those are the name tags. And so that means we're all set to play.

Let's do it. Somebody's going to win all this stuff. Whoever does the best wins. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. This first game we're going to play is called Characters Welcome. All four of you guess as often as you like. As I name the characters in a motion picture from the end titles. Not the actors, the characters they play.

And you just piece it together as soon as you know, think you know the name of the movie. Just yell it out. Are you just randomly naming them or are you going off the cast list? No questions. Okay, go ahead. It's in no particular order, but starting with the

more obscure characters and going up to the more known ones, but starting with the more obscure characters and going up to the more known ones, but not in that exact... No explanation. Broken arrow. Exact. That's a good pre-guess, but no.

Does anybody else have a pre-guess? Batman. I got a pre-question. Okay. Can you repeat the rules again one more time? You're gonna do...

You're gonna say... You're gonna say... The rule is you drink of Fosters really fast. I can't do that. And then... Is that Fosters? Just start yelling out the names of movie titles.

Okay. I'll say the characters from a movie. As soon as you figure out which movie it is, just say it into your microphone. Okay. You got it? Yeah, we're ready. Then red line.

It's another great progress, but no. This movie has a character in it named Hal. Oh, Space Odyssey Shallow Hal Named Ralph Wreck him Ralph No Hapshat

Ralph Hapshat Ralph Hapshat His name is Ralph Hapshat We have Bernie Character in this movie No Fuck The Titanic

It's also got a character named The Criminologist The Criminologist. And if you know this in the audience, don't yell it out of force. Thin Red Line. The Specialist? Thin Red Line. Thin Red Line.

Thin Red Line. This also has... It's gotta be one thing. Thin Red Line. This also has a character named Dr. Everett V. Scott. Oh, shit. Oh, I know this.

Just saw this last year. You did? Shallow Hell. Last year. Oh, shit. Shallow Hell. Is it a movie about earthquakes? You just saw it. Oh, shit. Oh, I know this. Just saw this last year. Shallow Hell. Oh, shit. Shallow Hell. Is it a movie about earthquakes? Just saw it?

Oh, shit. Deep Blue Sea. No, shit. Deep Blue Sea. Back to the Future? So you think it's going to be fun, Adam, to come in second place

in this game by just repeating what someone else said? I don't want to be last. That's a good point. I hate being last. I'm always last. Re's a good point. I hate being last. I'm always last. Revenge of the Nerds 2.

Full title. Full title. Is that in a movie? I think it's Nerds in Paradise, but don't quote me. Holy shit, you're good. Eddie the Ex-Delivery Boy. Eddie and the Cruisers. Is that porn?

Eddie the Ex-Delivery Boy. There's a delivery boy. Full metal jacket. There's a delivery boy. The ex-delivery boy. The whole metal jacket. There's also a character in this movie named Brad Majors. Man, this is... What? What year?

The general's daughter. Also... Jacob's Ladder. How about this one? This should do it. Riff Raff. Oh, I've seen that. Oh, fuck!

Spring Breakers? No. Spring Breakers. Spring Breakers. Spring Breakers. Do I get a point? There's someone called Magenta in this movie. Magenta? Go.

There's another person called Dr. Frank Inferter. Oh, in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. And there's a character named Rocky Horror. That is correct. The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Touch it, Marty. She got it.

She got it a long time ago. She got it. Yeah. Lucky guess. She's like a three-time champion. It's like so unfair. Lucky guess. You guys are the best.

I mean, when you say that many movies like that, obviously one of them is going to be Rocky Horror Picture Show. She has to come across like Rocky Horror Picture Show. It's like a Murphy's Law. Murphy Brown. Weekend at Murphy. It's like a Murphy's Law. Murphy Brown. Weekend at Murphy's. Weekend at Murphy's. Not going to do it.

Little Murphy picture show. Little Murphy picture show. Bud Murphy life. That's so good. Okay, so Liza gets to go first in this next game. That's all she won, by the way. Just gets to go first

Yeah, I was telling him backstage there's no stakes. Did you write these questions though somebody's gonna win everything and they're not questions they're games

and we're about to play one that is pretty new to the show I'm very excited I get to go first yeah she gets to go first don't pretend like you didn't hear it

yeah and then and then, and then, Lamorne will go second and then Adam and then Scoot, I go to you one at a time.

You each get a different title. I'm going to name a movie. The game is called, the game is called Dumelephant. What?

Because you have to tell me whether or not, whether it has Josh Dumele or Timothy Oliphant. It has to be Josh Dumele or an elephant. Dumelephant. Okay. I can't believe I'm fucking here right now. This is the happiest moment of my life. Oh my God.

I love this game. They really do look alike. It's not racist if they're in the room and you say white people look alike. They look alike. I'd kill to be either one of those guys' last names. Alright, so Eliza gets to go first.

Josh Duhamel. Don't fuck with my shit! Which one of those two gentlemen was in a movie called the first wives club scoot knows it who was in it I have really bad instincts, so I'm going to go against my instincts. You're on Netflix.

I'm not allowed to comment on Netflix for my contract. And they're draconian ways. I'm on Hulu. I'm also on Hulu. So I want to say something So I'm going to go Josh Duhamel

Wrong So fucking wrong Is it wrong? He's right It's Oliphant My instinct was Similarly Oliphant But I have such bad instincts

You had bad instincts But you called the wrong answer So No but my good instincts You're a three time winner I don't understand this What if I just You should be like A three time lucky Hey how many rounds you had bad instincts, but you called the wrong answer. No, but my good instincts... You're a three-time winner. I don't understand this. What if I just...

You should be like a three-time lucky... Hey, how many rounds of this have you won so far? Ooh. Shots. Wow. By the way,

I'm so fucking confident that I'm going to win this right now. Is that why you can't make eye contact? Yeah. I can't make eye contact because I have low self-esteem.

Go fuck yourself. It's going down. It's going down. I'm like everyone in the audience. It's going down. I've never heard I have low self-esteem. Go fuck yourself.

It's a real... Are you sure you're not a stand-up comic? It's a real dramatic turn you took there. I watch a lot of stand-up comic. It's going down. I train. I just want to do gun noises. I train.

I saw Guns N' Roses live. It's going down. I train. I've trained. I just want to do gun noises more. I saw Guns N' Roses live. All right. Maybe that's why. I don't drink little water. Look at that little water.

You got battle scars, dude. I'm a latchkey kid. Pew, pew, pew. Another one. Motherfucker. Alright. Lamorne, it's your turn.

Wait, so I was wrong? That's an anchor. She get minus one, she get minus one. Who was he? No, there's no penalty, but she didn't get a point. That's what this is so big for. The whole thing will be over in about 18 minutes. There'll be 10.50.

I'm not giving you points for that. Scream 2, Lamar. Which one was in Scream 2? Scream 2. Do Mel or Oliphant? Such an easy question. Didn't watch those movies. That's not how I was raised.

Scream 2, you said, which is different from the first. So obviously it's not who I was thinking. This isn't who wants to be a millionaire. I'm going to phone one of my friends. Yo, Timothy, what movie was you in, dawg? I'm going to go with Timothy Olyphant. That is correct. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But now you're in trouble because I think Adam's about to be on the board. I don't think Timothy Lee knows he's confident. He might not know. He might just cruise through. Adam?

This team's easy. It's luck of the draw. I think you got one of the easier ones, but we'll see what you say. Yeah, you say how you like it. Which one? You're going Dumel already? I don't fucking need to know.

Fuck this. I know this. That's Dumel. All right. Okay, so you're wrong because it's the movie Go. Yes! Classic Oliphant.

That's why some of us call him Goliphant. By the way, that's a classic that's a classic go move that I picked Oliphant. Such a great movie. All right, so it's over to Scoot. Scoot,

you look like I'm ready. Yeah, you look like you're ready to do exactly what this title says. Which one was in

Catch and Release? The 1989 version, 67 version, or 72 version? Ooh. That terrible title's been used three times? Or the documentary series in Patagonia. We didn't see that shit! Blah, blah, boom, boom, choo, choo. It's the one with Jennifer Garner and Kevin Smith.

Oh, that one. Blah, blah, choom, choom. That was... Adam, do you know we're recording this? No, I have no idea what we're doing I don't know why I'm here it's gonna be on the internet no one told me why I'm here

it's gonna be on the internet I dropped off Oliphant no way nah bro no it's the other guy classic Duhamel

it's Taye Diggs Taye Diggs Diggsie Taye Diggs always Taye Diggs it's Oliphant so Lamorne and Scoot are on the board

right yeah we do this you're doing this but we're back to Eliza which one is in A Perfect Getaway that's not a movie anyone's heard of

A Perfect Getaway it That's not a movie. Anyone's heard of A Perfect Getaway? It's an advertisement for a hotel. It's A Perfect Getaway starring Trivago Guy. It's a sandals commercial. Trivago is not bad looking. He just doesn't

own a belt. Trivago Guy looks like an alcoholic. Trivago's the best. There's one now where he does a soft shoe. There's another one where he's throwing things around. They don't know what to do with that guy.

It's because he's done enough that they were like, let Travago Guy write this one. Can I direct one? He fucked the casting director. We're cutting into my think time. What's the movie? A Perfect Getaway? Yes.

The Perfect Getaway? No, the... You don't know. Is it The perfect getaway yes okay so it could either be about a vacation which is like a

Josh Duhamel thing because he's like a heartthrob or it's about like a car chase this is a trick question trick question so I go okay fine I go Timothy Oliphant

Ron that's right that's right that's right y'all yeah it's Oliphant suck my thank you yup Yeah, it's Oliphant. Suck my dick. Yeah.

Lamorne. It's too much to me. All your answers are Oliphant, so this one has to be Tay-Dix. Do what I did. Do what I did and just get super cocky. Yeah, man. We'll be Goldberg, dog. Throw it out there.

I know. Which one was in Mother's Day Mother's Day Oh Josh Duhamel Yeah it's gotta be Duhamel No it's Oliphant No Whoa

Are you serious He was in Mother's Day I can't even see Josh's face On the squares He hates moms Yeah he does I know for a fact

I saw it on Rickipedia You say Rick a Pedia you say Rick a Pedia Rick has a page he hates mom that or I was gonna let you go till I finish my tiny water all right every answer has been the same. It's been all a fan all day. The last time we played the game was Dumel the whole time. I like to have fun.

So... But that other panel figured me out. You guys were like, not so much. But it was good. Good competition. But now two of you got two correct, correct?

Eliza got one right. I have three. Lamorne got two right. And how many did you get, Scoot? I've only had one attempt and I won. Okay. Let's see if you could tie it up right now and then we'll flip a coin to determine a winner. I'm in last place, Doug.

Huh? I'm in last... Ow. I'm in last... Ow. I don't even know what this is. Am I bleeding? No, I think you're all right. I'm in last place.

We're tied, right? One, one, one? I have one. I have one. I thought you had two. Nah, I'm going to know what this is. Am I bleeding? No, I think you're all right. I'm in last place. We're tied, right? One, one, one? I have one. I have one. I thought you had two. Nah, I'm going to be honest with you. Okay, you got one? Yeah, I'm honest.

It's all tied up here. Off camera, I won. Okay, so between you three, Adam, sit this one out. Okay. I'm going to say a movie, and first one of you says there's only two choices. So whoever says it first. Olifant. Are you ready?

Is it between Josh Duhamel and Timothy Oliphant again? Yeah. Wait, we're still in that round two? The longest round of all time. Okay. 11 minutes. You have 11 minutes. I need more time, Captain. All right.

Okay. I got to watch you guys while I say this. Once upon a time in Hollywood. Josh Duhamel. Josh Duhamel. Motherfucker. Timothy Oliphant. Timothy Oliphant. Eliza got there before the guy who's co-starring with him Josh Rimmel, motherfucker, Timothy Olyphant. Timothy Olyphant.

Eliza got there before the guy who's co-starring with him in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. We got slow draw McGraw on the end there. That's what I was saying, yeah. It feels like that. I should've just said it twice. Yeah. If I could do this all over again, I would. I was saying. Yeah. It feels like that. I should have just said it twice. Yeah. If I could do this all over again, I would. I really would.

You told us it was going to be the same guy. And I just... I didn't trust you, man. I didn't think you'd do it. I didn't think you were capable of that. You know? What a tangled web, man. Starring Josh Duhamel.

I got to say, I got to say, Oliphants another reason I'm psyched about the once-in-a-lifetime in Hollywood amazing classical of so many good people I didn't get the audition for us I was the same and fucking Luke Perry's in it what fuck yeah don't give it up for Luke Perry guys come on 90210 fans out there people don't people don't buy they don't buy LPs anymore alright so we got one game left to play

and as you pointed out two minutes ago we've only got nine minutes left to go oh my god it was 11 when you said it we gotta focus we seriously gotta focus

cause the last thing they want at UCB is a show to start late the 2am show because the last thing they want at UCB is a show to start late. They've got a spotless record until tonight. Okay, so we're going to play Last Man Stanton. Eliza won again, so she gets to go first.

We're going to switch the order up, though. We're going to go to Scoot and then me because I play along. Then you, Adam. Then Lamorne. We're going to name movies of an actor or an actress that's been suggested by an audience member. If you can't think of one, you're out. You do have one lifeline. You can go to Kyle once.

Adam can go to Candy once. Right. You get it. Whoever's name tag you pick, you can use them as lifeline one time. Where's Bilbao underscore Baggins? Hey, how's it going? Front row.

Oh my God, I thought that was the question. I was like Patagonia. I don't know. Someone said earlier. Staircase, staircase. Timothy Oliphant. Let's name the films of Bilbao Baggins. Lord of the Rings.

Because it's not even Bilbo, it's Bilbao. Bilbao, like the train stop. Did you get my tooth dug from earlier? You did? That was always like that. That was always like that. He's trying to come up on insurance, man. He showed up with pre-existing injuries and shit,

and then when I blame it on your show, Your show has insurance? Trying to take you down. He showed up like that. I got chipped my tooth. Saw him at the pharmacy once, man. Chopping for Sensodyne. Wait, are you against me getting insurance?

Yeah. But insurance is so American. Well, you should probably find that tooth if it fell out of your face. Yeah, I should. Find that chip. Later. So, Bill Bow is going to suggest

the name of an actor or actress. And I'm going to look at the panel. If you guys think it's one you're all shaky on, I'll get a second name. We'll do two names. We're just naming movies? Movies that person was in. I go first.

But yeah. But I don't know if Bilbo's going to name somebody from the 90s. Or even like the 40s or something. You don't know what she's going to do. She's saying Brad Pitt. Who the fuck is that? What are you talking about?

Angelina Jolie's ex-husband? I'm gonna just make a judgment call here and say we're good. We don't need a second name because Brad Pitt is... He's in a lot of movies. Yeah.

Yeah. He's great. He's universal. He's in a movie that was made for Netflix that some of you may have been in. So...

What's that called? We'll start with Eliza. What do you got for Brad Pitt? Any movie that's got Brad Pitt in it? What's that? Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Yeah, that's one of my favorites of his. Mr. and Mrs. Smith go to Washington. That would be such a great sequel.

Why is everyone getting shot? Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Alright, Scoot, which one are you going to go with? California. With a K. With a K. Yeah, love it. I'm going to go true romance

because it's one of the best depictions of a stoner ever put on film. I literally forgot all his movies. Oh, shit. Well, you're one away, but you can use your lifeline early if you want. Adam, what do you got? Cool World.

Oh. Interesting. Yeah, because I know got? Cool World. Oh. Interesting. Yeah, because I know my shit. What the fuck? I don't fucking remember. Well, Adam, you should probably save ones like that that nobody else will say. Oh, yeah, you're right.

I forgot my strategy. Bathroom? I need to use a bathroom. For reals? No, this is the last part. Yeah, you only got to get six more minutes. I'll be right back. Okay, good luck.

You forfeit. You forfeit all your time. Where is it? It's in the minutes. I'll be right back. Okay, good luck. You forfeit. You forfeit all your time. Where is it? It's in the back. Do that one right there. There's one right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope Joe Shitman isn't in there.

We started calling him that because he spends entire shows in there. Okay, so... Oh, I could really go for some queso. Did he say a movie before he left? No. He said Cool World. Okay, so The Mourner on You.

The films of Brad Pitt. Fight Club. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I know one. Saw that. That's good. You got to knock out those big ones.

Yeah. All right, Eliza. What do you think? Interview with the Vampire. Ooh, yeah. He was in that. So hot. He was in that.

Yeah, he was. Scoot? Seven Years in Tibet. So hot. Shout out to that. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to get rid of the years in Tibet. Seven.

Oh! I see what you did. I see what you did. I see what you did. Oh, he's out of the bathroom to say, meet Joe Black. He's going back in for more. What is he going to wash his hands?

Okay, Lamar. Oh, yeah. He's on his fucking phone In the bathroom You motherfucker You disloyal Bitch made Fool ass punk

Where your phone at dog Let me see your phone Let me see your recent searches Motherfucker Pull out your phone I'm gonna go with Ocean's Eleven Okay That's a real can of worms searches, motherfucker. Pull out your phone. I'm going to go with Oceans 11. Okay.

That's a real can of worms. Let me see. Google.com. Wait, let me hit that. That's pornography. That's recent. Okay, I'm going to do that. Why are you Googling yourself over and over in the bathroom? I Google myself so I don't hate myself.

I understand. I'm a Zen dog. Come on. Shut up. Does that work? Yes. By the way, I had one bud light. Like, I'm not gonna make it through a whole show. Shut up. One water. Whose turn is it? Liza?

Yeah. Yeah. Welcome to Smooth Quiz. Thelma and Louise. Oh, okay. Interesting way to go. Scoot. Twelve monkeys.

Oh, as long as we're speaking of twelve, Ocean's twelve. Oh! Burn after reading? Uh-huh. Yeah? Come on. I got a nice.

Oh, what else? Come on. Is there another one of those? There might be. Give it a shot. See what happens. I'm going to go with I'm gonna go with 12 Years a Slave

what okay oh yeah speaking of 12 that gives me a good idea for a future game Ocean's 12 Years a Slave Eliza

Legends of the Fall The sequel to Dorks of the Summer Scoot And Glorious Bastards Great call That's what I was going to say Yeah very good I'm going to go with Ocean's 13 and glorious bastards. Great call. That's what I was going to say. Yeah, very good.

I'm going to go with Oceans 13. I didn't know. I forgot. I was like, really? They kept making them? I was like, that was an eight. Flight Club.

Flight Club? Is he a pilot in that one? We already did Fight Club. That might have been while you were in the bathroom. No, he was right here, bro. Okay, real quick. Yeah, real quick. So easy.

Just spit it right out. Eliza almost has one. I have one. No. Ocean's Tent. Do you want to go to your Lifeline, Adam? Lifeline. Candy. Deadpool 2.

Deadpool 2. Wait, he was in it? Spoiler. I haven't seen it. What are you doing? Oh my god, I was going to see it tonight. Oh! Oh! So pissed.

OMG! Hashtag. I'd go with you to see it tonight, but I got So pissed OMG You're not any late Hashtag I'd go with you to see it tonight But I gotta finish my small water I can't believe I went to the bathroom on your podcast I'm so embarrassed You're not doing that bad

Okay so Wait who said Deadpool 2 Oh Lifeline. Okay, so Lamorne is up. That would be an awesome title. Amazing Lifeline. Bradley Pitt. Bradley Pitt.

Son of a virgin. Joey. Fuck, I'm going to have to go with my Lifeline. Lifeline time Where's Kyle at? Troy Troy Troy

Lamar goes with Troy 90s? No actually It's one of my favorite movies Motherfucker You love Troy? Yeah when he hit the dude in the fucking shoulder With the blade

Yeah He's got some smooth moves man he's true he looked good in it too man he looked real good you know sultry almost you know eliza you want to go to your lifeline oh god no snatch snatch so good about what what he looks like when he eats and talks Because he does it more than any other actor So I'm just going through clips of mouths and food Patty Winkle Blue

Oh my god so good Scoot Scoot Are you out? War Machine Netflix That's the movie he's in with oh movie yeah count oh i watch i think you said it movie yeah motherfucker motherfucker just like Eliza

I have a system for figuring out like thinking of the next one I'm like what is he oh right the Mexican ah

yeah oh shit nice work yeah he was in that he was in that your turn Adam you're still in it

cause your lifeline saved you but did you come up with something else no you're done with lifelines. Can I do the percentages? Where the audience has a percentage? I don't think so. That's more of a multiple choice answer kind of thing.

Brad Pitt we're talking, right? Wasn't he in... Yes. The Gingerbread Man? All right, you're out thank you you guys he would have been

great in that yeah Lamorne Benjamin Button oh shit settle down everybody this is a dangerous time for you

my friend the the the the the the the

the the curious case of Benjamin Button. Yes! So good, Lamar. That was amazing. I wish on Jeopardy when somebody got something wrong before Alex could say anything,

the audience just went, Oh! Fuck it! Fucked up! Ah, the curious case. Got that one wrong. It's such a great movie. Eliza?

He aged backwards. Uh-oh. She looks like she might be out. Troy 2. Who's your lifeline? Tanya. Sean. All right, use your microphone, Eliza.

Sean. Something called Johnny Suede. Yeah, that your microphone, Eliza. Sean. Something called Johnny Suede. Yeah, that is correct. What is that even? He plays a dude with a big hairdo and kind of like Cool World but no animation. I thought that was River Phoenix.

Oh. It wasn't. Okay. Oh. Oh. It wasn't. Okay. Joaquin Phoenix did some good work, too.

All right. We got to get out of here. So let's wrap this up. Scoot, you got another one? Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Oh, you bastard. It's not out yet. It could never make it. Oh, burn.

Something bad could happen. Burn after reading. Burn after reading. Burn after reading. I do have to agree with them. Do you have another one? Jose. What? Jose.

Fury. Fury. Fury. Fury, of course. Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, too. Of course. Only reviewed by 243 people. Alright.

Take your time, Doug. It's your show. No rush. Oh, yeah. No, we gotta get out of here. We got one minute. We got one minute. Five minutes. One minute. We got one minute. I was sitting there pretty cocky there for a while. Thought I was going to take this.

And then I had to think. I don't have a lifeline, dude. All right, in the interest of time, and because I can't think of anything. Looks like I won. I'm going to tap. Wait, wait, I get a chance. I'm not out either, even though I don't know.

I'm out. I was out before I got here. Hello, hello. What do you got? Money ball. Yes. Oh, wow. what do you got Moneyball

yes oh wow damn it I love that movie too Eliza is there a movie where

is there like a like a like a Last Samurai kind of thing where he's surrounded by

that's Tom Cruise I know like that can I offer an episode of TV he was on never seen before? He was on 30-something.

He was on Friends when he was dating Jennifer Aniston. But you gotta name the episode. Hell yeah. I thought this was Doug Loves Movies.

It's an offer that I have. He's a movie star on a TV show before movie stars were doing TV shows. Movie versus TV, go. Yeah, so friends

when he comes for the Thanksgiving episode. Okay, you're out. Okay. This is her first loss on Doug Loves Movies. What else have you got? What do you got, Scoot?

The Devil's Own. Oh. Jesus Christ, Scoot. You're amazing. Yeah, that's a good one. Can you rank the order that we won? I jerk off to his IMDb page and I should know all of these.

You have one more, Lamorne. How do I jerk off? I figure myself. Oh, that's gross, right? Because it's male and female. I get it. Jesus Christ. I get it. Jesus Christ.

I thought this was Doug Loves Movies. If he doesn't get one, are we all tied for losing? No, I won. I won. I keep forgetting you're in this game. I'm just over here fixing a light bulb and I won. I keep forgetting you're in this game. I'm just over here fixing a light bulb

and I won. How many directors does it take to screw in a light bulb? It was a long con. You played it cool. I've been tied for losing my whole life. Ah, shit. Well, when you shoot for second,

you know, over time, you're gonna lose. And then they just started kissing. It was so weird. So you got, that's it?

You got nothing? Yeah, I do. Valentine's Day. It's always a reasonable guess, but... Oh, no, director's feet cut. Wait, to, uh, no director's cut. To be clear,

any version of it. Tied for losing. We tied for losing. What's the, uh, what's the thing he did with Marion Cotillard? Allied. That's a hard one to remember.

Allied. Uh, but that means that Scoot McNary has done it. I mean, who really knew that Brad Pitt worked that much? Did he have any other movies? World War Z. Oh, he forgot World War Z. The Big Short. River Runs Through It.

Two Hours Later. He was in... Megamind. Wow. Assassination of Jesse James by his coward fucking loser brother. What? Killing him softly.

He's like a big deal. Wait, Scoot's in that one too? Killing him softly. He's like a big deal. Mary Poppins. Wait, Scoot's in that one too? You know, there's stage fright. You just sort of go blank when you get up here. Is there anything you want to promote, Scoot? Thank you again for being here and congratulations on another win.

Scoot doesn't come in here to promote shit. He just comes by because he enjoys himself. And it's just nice to get off the road for a second. because he enjoys himself. And it's just nice to get off the road for a second. I'm here to promote you, Doug. Because he travels around all the time doing movies and TV.

I don't know what I'm plugging. He's in most of Brad Pitt's movies and TV. I'm just plugging California. I'm happy to be out here. Eliza Schlesinger has a special on the Netflix coming out July 24th.

And what else? Elder Millennial. You got any live dates? Yeah, I'll be in... When does this come out? Tomorrow. Okay, I will be starting my tour in Las Vegas for Fourth of July weekend, so on the 7th.

And then literally almost every single city here and abroad for the rest of my life. So go to Eliza.com. Lamorne, what do you got going on? What's coming up for you? So much, dog. The new season of New Girl. Nah, we done.

They got canceled like a motherfucker, man. They let us go. They went ahead and sent us to pasture. Can't Fox scoop it up? We were on Fox. Oh. FX. You know Tim Allen

that Fox saved the day. Why don't they just do that for you? We don't want to to be honest with you. We could be some old ass roommates living in that loft, man.

What's coming up? You got something in the can or something? Yeah. A couple things. A new show actually. A new miniseries called Valley of the Boom

coming out on Nat Geo. It's good. It's great miniseries. Yeah, it's good. He's seen it. Nat Geo. Nat Geo, actually. A new miniseries called Valley of the Boom coming out on Nat Geo. It's good. Yeah, it's good. He's seen it. Nat Geo. Nat Geo, yeah. Let's see. How did you see it? Steve Zahn and Bradley Whitford.

It's going to be great. All right. And yet again, I'm the only Negro in it. I really got to do something with more color in it. Hollywood, we got to do better. Hello. Somebody, I. I really, Hollywood, we gotta do better. Hello? Somebody, I mean, come on. I'm right here.

We gotta do better, not you. Somebody with a tint. You know, there's always get out too. I would die to be a get out too. Get out too, colon, get out again. For real, get out. We mean it this time. We're not're not even letting you our daughter this time get outside get out before you our daughter yeah because isn't that the weird part of that

movie that they're so racist that they want their daughter to a million black guys yes it's a weird choice 100 i mean she was gonna do it anyway i'm just saying you know what i. I'm just saying. You know what I mean? I'm just saying. You got Yanni. You got Yanni. That one's for just us. Yeah, that one.

I'm not going to explain that one to the listeners. I am the Fosters. And Adam. And I'm the Sharpie. Adam Hirschman. I was in the UCB bathroom 15 minutes ago. No, I got it, Doug. I got it.

I just want to say that's amazing if you guys get a chance. Zen Dog, go to zendogmovie.com. No! I crushed some batteries. It's cool.

That's what I usually do on the weekends. What did you do last weekend, Doug? Nothing. Crushing batteries, though. Zendog. Zendogmovie.com. Available now.

Crushing batteries. Available now. First time guest, Adam Hirschman, everybody. Next Doug Loves Movies here at UCB Franklin is on Tuesday, July 24th. Another powerhouse lineup for that one.

Hashtag schedules permitting. And thank you again to all of my guests. Scoot McNary, Eliza Schlesinger, Lamora Morris, and Adam Hirschman. And as always,

this one's kind of strange, so I'll lead off with it. Tranny's hating the word tranny is a shithead. Okay. My boyfriend's boss for making him miss Douglas movies is a shithead. And one that I really think we can all agree on, Swamp movies is a shithead. And one that I really think we can all agree on, Swamp Ass is a shithead.