Doug Loves Movies - Jared Watson, Jacob Sirof and Sean Jordan guest

Episode Date: January 2, 2017

Live from the Improv in Tempe, Doug welcomes Jared Watson, Jacob Sirof and Sean Jordan to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Enjoy the show. Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 azithoc or kernels in his teeth There's still not more that he won't see But double police Hey, hey, hey everybody My name is Doug and I love movies This is Love, Love Fox Movies! Coming to you once again from the Improv in Tempe, Arizona! I'm going to put this there in my pocket. It's Saturday, December 31st, 2016.

We did it. Only a few more hours until this stupid year is over. Please, nobody die. And is there a better distraction in the world right now from, you know, what's been going on than arts and crafts? Let me see your name tags, Tepi. Oh, snap! I knew this would be good. That's making my microphone come out, that drone running around in the audience. It's making a high-pitched noise. Is that supposed to be a Millennium Falcon?

Holy shit. I've said this before maybe and I'll say it again. No one should have a drone. It just seems like a bad idea. But did you drop it on your own head? Just now? No. You didn't drop it on somebody else?

It landed near me. It landed near you. Okay, good. You've got to be careful with those things. Let's see what else we got here. We got Deep Blue Chelsea. A Chris's Story. Planes, Trains, and Oscar Mobiles. Why didn't you just do Oscars?

Trashly Park, I like that. Julie E. Is that Wally? She's got a very sad looking Wally that she drew with paint or markers. Mulan Lori. Oh, there's so many good ones. The Long Kiss Good Who? Mate. Mate? Long Kiss Good Mate?

Mitch Perfect? Two, that's good. Full title, I like it. Griffin to the Wild. His name's Griffin, and it's on top of a school bus which figures prominently into the wild at first I thought, is that a sweet hereafter name tag? You guys remember that movie about the bus full of kids?

Yeah, real fun to watch this time of year Thank you everybody for bringing all those awesome name tags Good luck to each and every one of you. A lot of applause. Let's get into, let's get deep into next year. June 17th. Yeah. June 17th. It's already on sale. Douglas Movies comes to

Laugh Boston, which is much more intimate than the Wilbur, and it will sell out. And then Chicago, Rosemont, Illinois, Douglas movies will be at Zany's in Rosemont on May the 4th be with you and Cinco de Mayo, that's becoming a tradition there in Rosemont and I'm not sure what tickets for those are going on sale. And coming up this Tuesday, January 3rd, Douglas movies is back at Hometown Comics in L.A., and Emil Hirschwatch continues. He might be there.

Maybe. For all of my dates and dates and links, links and dates and docs, go to DouglasLewis.com That's DouglasLewis.com Thank you. Douglasmovies.com. That's Douglasmovies.com. For a while I told myself, the live audience really enjoys it.

But they're just laughing because what else is there going to do? There's nothing better to do. I'm fucking here. So that was good to hear. Even the live audience was grateful that I stopped doing that. I can always bring it back for a laugh. Yeah! You know, for the show around April 1st. I was kind of dreaming of setting up a show where I list amazing guests on a list of the best guests possible.

Like if I could get Jon Hamm, Jon Lithgow, and Bert Kreischer in one episode. That kind of crazy show where we're like, I gotta hear that. Listed as that, and then do all the normal opening stuff. And then when I say that, it's douglasmovies.com. Have 80 minutes of silence. And then at the very end of here, as always, dunklovesmovies.com is a shit. Well, I just can't follow through on those things. I just haven't started

Don't Love Sleeping, which I have been meant to do for a long time. I thought that would be funny. Oh, and we just added Douglas Movies taping at Cap City Comedy in Austin, Texas next Saturday, January 7th at 420. It's very

last minute, but it should still be fun. From the corrections department, of course Anthony Hopkins was in Red Dragon. He's had a little fucking lector in Red Dragon. I don't know what I was thinking. Apologies to everyone who was inconvenienced by this oversight. Let's check out the prize bag, you guys. It's a lovely bag.

Lovely bag that I got from one of the nice folks at Weed Maps. And I think there's some Weed Maps stuff in here too. I might have put it in future bags. But I also got some Loot Crate stuff in here. There's the Loot Crate magazine, and then a pop vinyl figure, which is Aguilar crouching. There's an Aguilar standing, and an Aguilar crouching. I don't know why. Is there a hidden Aguilar, is there a tiger? Yeah, I don't know. And then a t-shirt that I think this is a Mr. Robot thing.

Yeah! Okay. There you go. Kind of reminds me of Guy Fawkes. Is it supposed to be like a new Guy Fawkes? Alright, now I don't have to watch Mr. Robot. Some stickers you gave me in Fort Lauderdale that say question everything. A watch that I found in my boxes of shit at home.

It was a tie-in fast food restaurant watch for the movie Congo. It doesn't work anymore. The digital readout doesn't work. But it still might just be a fun thing to wear. Now people are going, is that a Congo watch? to wear. And people are like, is that a condom wash? There's also that movie, there's like machine gunning of gorillas and stuff. It's very unpleasant. Well, the guy who made the stickers is called ThatAgent7 on Twitter. And then, this is a cool thing I pulled from a loot crate. It's a figure fantasy, the pop culture

photography of Daniel Picard and like on the cover here You can see he's got Yoda fucking up a couple of stormtroopers and it's got fun things like This one you probably seen on the internet spider. I'm not spider-man Totally Superman you guys My superhero comprehension goes out the window when I get too high. No, it's

Superman, but he's using his x-ray eyes to make graffiti on a wall that says Bruce Wayne is Batman. So fun stuff like that in a coffee table book format. Plus all the stuff brought by my three guests guests I'm very

happy to say that in town at my request our three regular guests on the show please give a big warm welcome to Jared Watson Sean Jordan and who else is back there Jacob Searock! Hey. Hey. What's up, fucking Doug? What's up, fucking Doug? What's up, fucking Doug? I like it.

Let's end this year aggressively. Yeah, we had a kid at the last one we did. Couldn't cuss. It was all G. Yeah, yeah. Let's introduce you to the crowd before going into reminiscing. Whatever. From the band Dirty Heads, It's Jared Watson, everybody! Dirty J is in the house.

Yeah. Yeah, I like saying that. That's fun. And you guys, the Dirty Heads are playing a show in Tempe tonight. The Marquee. At the Marquee Theater. Is it tickets still available? Well, there's 200 tickets left.

Oh, okay. Alright, and I think there's 300-something in here right now, so, uh... I'll just put you guys all on the list. Counting on... Oh, you're doing a little shit for unaccompanied. I'll put you on the list. That's how it's done. That sounds like a terrible thing to do right now. You just don't seem to have the authority

to do that. But, uh, yeah, go to that show tonight if you can. There's a bunch of bands before that, but obviously we'll be done here pretty early. Applaud if you're just gonna go home after this show's over. I love that. I started doing these 420 New Year's Eve shows because I thought, there's some people who'd love to be done like drunk and high and home at like 7 o'clock.

Fucking losers. But then there's other people, you know, that are here, they probably have parties and things they're going to go to, go see the Dirty Hits. So it's like, you know, you can do whatever you want. Do what you will. But yeah, the last time Jared was on, he was on with Sarah Shahi, who had her little boy Wolfie was in the crowd.

And boy, did he, he got a lot of attention. He really stole the focus. Did you win the games that day? I did win. Yeah, I thought you should have, considering she was trying to get help from her five-year-old child. And then who was the third person that was there?

It was another lady, I think. She was on... Was it Andre Vermeulen? Yeah. There you go. Cool. She's on Angie Trivedi. I mean, she was.

That's what I was looking for. How do you feel about your chances today against two veterans of the show? Good. Look at me when you say it. Good. Also, real quick, are you gonna pull some second story jobs tonight while you're in town? Because you have a perfect burglar out there. You're a fucking head to toe burglar.

I thought this was professional. We were only going to talk about Natalie Portman movies. We could do that. I could totally do that. We could do a whole Natalie Portman episode. You know, so many great people died this last year. I'm thinking about starting to do tributes to people

in case they might die. Because it seems like a waste to talk about how great people were when they're dead. Like all those tweets. Who's reading tweets from the grave? Who has access like that? I'm pretty sure they have Twitter in heaven. If there is, then I want to go to hell.

Dying is supposed to be sweet relief from social media. Just get away from Twitter. Yeah, you're going to finally get off it once and for all. Let's meet our other players today. Play us, as my friend Sean Jordan might say. Hey! Hi. I like texting Sean something like,

fuck off, and he'll write back, all right, plan. He texts me that a lot. Because I know you're not going to get mad at me, and it's just fun to get that out, you know, just be aggressive. All right, I will do, dog. I'll go ahead and fuck off. Yeah. Yeah, you're so chill. Yeah, I'm pretty calm.

Yeah, and you don't even smoke weed, but I hear you're trying to get into it. I'm going to dip my feet in the bathtub this year. That's what I'm gonna do. That's your year's resolution? You're gonna get into a bathtub full of weed? I think that's the best way to start smoking it. Yeah, just immerse yourself in it. If I were in an entire bathtub. Learn, like,

become it, and then smoke it. Learn its ways. That makes perfect sense. That's not how everybody else did it. Zen and the art of weed smoking. Yeah, I'm in. And then smoke it. Learn its ways first. That makes perfect sense. That's not how everybody else did. Zen in the art of weed smoking. Yeah, I'm in. Yeah, okay. Chalk it up. And how do you feel about your chances today?

I know you're a little shaken by the time zone change. You came here just for... Do you want to go excuse us? I don't know if I'm shaken by the time zone change. No, but you're very confused by it, because Arizona plays by their own rules. Yeah, no, sure. You wouldn't like it if you didn't live here. So for half the year, you get a lot of people

from California showing up late to things. I don't even know. I have to check on, like, Google it. Like, what time is it in Arizona right now? I can't even figure it out. Or text my friend that lives here and ask him. You can also just look at where it says the time on your phone. Yeah, but if I'm here, like, I came here from South Dakota,

and if I look, it's giving me South Dakota time. It won't switch over? Well, no, it does when I get to Arizona. It's the conversations I'll have next year when I start smoking weed, and I can't wait? It's gonna be a blast. Can't wait, playa. I don't say it like a cop like you do.

Hey, playa, you got some cocaine for a playa? I'm gonna need you to put your hands behind your back, playa. I'm gonna need you to put your hands behind your back, player. And speaking of players, Jacob Searoff is here! What's up, Almost Phoenix? So close to Phoenix. Like, on the balcony, you can see it.

Are we not in Phoenix? I mean, isn't it kind of in the same place? It's the greater Phoenix area. Don't yell at me. Yes! Now I gotta leave. I'm gonna go cry. That's that big scary lady from Monsters, Inc. Yes!

Isn't it like a 1093 or something? The human code? What? 2319. 2319. Oh shit. These people here know their numbers. I appreciate it.

Thank you. 2319. That's a dude that does that voice. I was watching it this morning on Stars. You're watching Monsters, Inc. this morning? On Stars. Play that. Yeah. I just watched everything that was on Stars today, so it was a real weird mix of shit that I was watching.

Don't mess with the Zohan. God is not dead 2, or whatever the fuck that's called. I think it's Ebon Almighty. Might have been the first one. How are you doing, Jacob? You had to drive into California. Yeah, I literally drove. I got here less than an hour ago. Why is that, by the way? Because I didn't plan.

I forgot that you guys don't fuck with Daylight Savings and I've only been here during those months and I totally planned to get here at 2.30 for a 4.20 show and I got here. You've been more of a summertime Tempe kind of guy? I summer here. I like to count when it's a gentleman's 120 degrees out. Fuck, man.

The weather's a lot more pleasant when you guys have the fucked up time thing happening. They don't have snowbirds, they have glowbirds. They'll come here to get fucking super glowy tans. I have to say, Arizona, you guys have some great comedy writers writing the sign, the don't drive drunk on the freeway sign. In California, it's just like, I was driving this drunk driving,

here it's like, drink hammered, get nailed. They have a staff, a comedy staff of writers. So if you drive hammered, you're gonna have sex that time? Yeah, apparently. They're in the double entendre. Another one I saw just said, it's no burn day and I was like, joke's on you, I'm gonna hang out with Doug Benson. It's burn day. It's fucking burn day Arizona. What's no burn day? What does that even mean? It's like a fire outside.

Oh, okay. But you can still flick cigarettes out the window in the tent, right? I think flick a cigarette to the window is just like, you can do that anywhere, anytime. Yeah, that's legal. Anytime you want to look cool. That's the move. No, I won't pick you up. Flick a cigarette. Jared, what do you got for the prize bag today, my friend?

I got some Dirty Head swag from the merch table, because I forgot where it was. You say swag, not swag. I just had this debate with you. Swag? Bad weed. I think swag is swagger, though. On a right plant? Yeah.

Am I the only one that knows how to say this stuff? I thought swag was... You're probably right. And then I have Firebrand Infusions, which is a dispensary out here. I think it's out here. So I have some cannabinoid healing. It's like weed balm. You can't get high while masturbating from this weed lotion. Trust me. You can't just

lotion up and... No. I never thought about that, but I've been... Well, you can wear the bathtub. You can just try it then. But you can smoke a joint with the other hand. I've done that. Cry, smoke a joint, masturbate. I'm going to pay somebody to stand there and hold a joint in my mouth while I jack off the weed lotion.

And my bathtub's full of weed. That is some rich people shit. That is some rich white people shit. White people who are coming to America. Just hold the joint where it is while I masturbate with my weed lotion in this bathtub full of marijuana. Please.

I'm an hour late. We did it in Arizona. Play it. What do you guys have against daylight savings and Hillary Clinton? Seriously, what the fuck? Stop! I didn't hear that.

Let's not talk about it either. Yeah, I don't like either of those things. You know, came close to getting the weed passed. That didn't happen. I know. I know it's not you guys that are the problem. How do you think Sheriff Joe voted on marijuana? Same way he voted on MLK Day.

Yeah. They want to make it... Have you guys heard of MLK Day? That's a thing that everybody else fucking says. They've got it now. Because we're not racists. They've got it now at Takeover. They have it now?

They've had MLKK for like 20 years. Do you guys have Malcolm X Day yet, though? Because we do Malcolm X Day. No, we don't, you liar. I fucking do. Me and my children do. Is it the 10th of some month? The X. The 10th of every month should be Malcolm X Day.

Roman numeral 10. Why don't we just get one? I get it. I smell should be Malcolm X Day. Roman numeral 10. Why would he just get one? I get it. I smell it when you're stepping in. I'm into it. Okay. So, anything else you want to bring up to upset people, Jacob? Just try and have another one.

The show is gone. Sean, what do you got for the bag? I brought some candy and some popcorn. I brought some Tower Patch Kids because it's the best candy in the world. That's what you do every time. I know, I'm so excited that people dig it. And some popcorn. Now, you're such a kid too.

You literally just went to CBS. Well, the listeners didn't know that. I think they can tell funny prizes. Yeah, this shit has to come from somewhere. The listeners thought I made all this stuff. I made this iTunes gift card

for 15 American dollars that I'm giving away. That's always a Desperate Douglas movies prize when you spend money. And then an Arizona shot glass with like a buzzard in it

that says dry heat this way. You know, funny Arizona stuff. There's a little buzzard right inside there. Yeah heat this way. Funny Arizona stuff. There's a little buzzard right inside there. He's sitting on a sign. Every time you take a shot of liquor, you can look and be like, that's what I'm going to look like if I keep living this sinful life.

Because what people in Arizona love are Arizona souvenirs. I mean, South Dakota souvenirs aren't much better. Wall drug is our big deal. I'll put this on my fridge. It's great that somebody's dad brought some gifts for the band. I don't think that was...

But also, play out, slow your roll a little bit. You said buy a movie with this iTunes gift card. No, buy... Buy some comedy on it. Buy seven episodes of Douglas Movies premium episodes. That's what I meant to say. You can buy some Dirty Heads music.

You can buy a Dirty Heads album. I could just hang on to it if you guys would prefer. I need, either way, I need to make something off of this. I think I get 30 cents for every $2 thing, something like that. So it's not a great deal, but...

It's like $2.50. I'll be all right. Yeah. Boom. What did you bring for the bag there? Jared already told us. Jacob? Did you really forget I was backstage?

Was that a bit? I had a moment of like, you know... It's my fault. I smoked you out. I have like three, four, 12 guests standing around backstage every show I do. So, you know, I've got to get a teleprompter. That would really help. No, you trump it.

You don't need it. I bought three things I don't need because I have them all tattooed on my body. This is a t-shirt from the box. You have a t-shirt tattooed on your body? Yeah, I do. I have this t-shirt tattooed on my body. No, my other obsession that never gets talked about on the show, because it's not, it doesn't,

it's not about movies, is professional boxing. I bought this at the Boxing Hall of Fame. It's a show, the, the, it's a t-shirt. The fucking boxing outfit. I have this logo tattooed on me, and it's not my size, so I never wear it. I also have Root tattooed on me, and this is a little mini Groot keychain. And I would, I'm, you know, if you listen to the show you know that I kind of like Star Wars.

So I brought this belt buckle that I would never wear myself, but I'm sure one of you guys might. Because it's Arizona and you guys are behind the times fashion-wise. What a dickhead. Pass. Oh, can Jared, can you put your stuff in his bag and then pass it over? Oh yeah, and you also get this awesome Los Angeles by Chloe douchey vegan restaurant bag. I keep it local. I got a CVS. What's your favorite boxing movie? My favorite boxing movie?

Yeah. Fucking Rocky IV, dude. Why the fuck would you even ask? Because I wanted you to swear to me. Yeah, what are you up to, Sean? The most accurate boxing movie ever made is Girl Fight. As far as real boxing and not dumb movie boxing. Yeah, what do you want to, Sean? But the most accurate boxing movie ever made is Girl Fight. As far as real boxing and not dumb movie boxing. That's the most accurate technical boxing movie.

Why is this? You fucking massaged this. Why are you laughing? I don't think that's why he was laughing, really. I think there could be a lot of reasons he was laughing. None of them make much sense. He was kind of on his own on that one. But I might be just laughing about movie boxing in general

because it is kind of funny how if you're watching real boxing, it doesn't sound like they're slapping ping pong paddles against a Naugahyde couch with every punch. Very few double knockdowns in real boxing. I wonder what it sounded like when Ronda Rousey was getting hit in the face last night.

Fuck, man. It sounded bad enough on YouTube. Everybody lost money on that. It was just weird, right? I guess she's done. That's what MMA is kind of about, is there's so many disciplines mixed in there, mixed martial arts,

that that woman was just great at punching and her face was not great at punching and she was not ready. Her face was not great at being punched. It's a lot easier to punch than to be punched. How many fights did she win before she finally lost one? Like eight or nine?

Eight or nine. Twelve? Twelve. And most of those she won on the ground with an arm bar. Yeah, all of them. And she couldn't arm bar somebody that's just punching her in the face immediately. They crack her code. Or armbar. Yeah, all of them. And she couldn't armbar somebody. It's just punching her in the face immediately. They crack her code. Yeah. Real tough.

But why isn't she, you know, cracking back code-wise? Like, why did she expect that? I think that she went through... I think she's going through some Rocky III shit, where she's kind of caught up on the fame. Sure. And, like, you know, she's... Figuring herself out.

And fucking this other chick's clubber lagging it, you know? Like, she's hitting the gym, and Ronda Rousey's posing with babies. She's got some family stuff going on. Yeah, exactly. A drunk bunk. That's Rocky II. That was Rocky II.

They're all the same, Rocky. Except for the last one. That's blasphemy. They're very different. They're all very different in tone and structure. Rocky V is my favorite movie of all time. I fucking love Rocky V.

I went to see that. My mother and I chose to see that instead of Fantasia. My brother and my stepdad saw Fantasia and we were like, fuck that, Rocky V. Your brother and your stepdad went Fantasia. And we were like, fuck that, Rocky V. Your brother and your stepdad went to Fantasia and you and your mom went to Rocky V?

No, Rocky V, homie. I mean, player. I mean, player. You nailed it. You got it right that time. If you put the R on there, you're a square, dude. You'd be a square. Yeah, man. You want to be buff like Sean.

That was pretty accurate. Right? So dank, dude. He doesn't even smoke weed and he's dank. Seems like unfair to me. You could say, what's a skateboard word?

You don't skateboard, you can say like gnarly or sick or whatever if you want. Permission granted, my friend. Thanks. Whenever I say gnarly or sick or whatever if you want. Yeah. Permission granted, my friend. Thanks. Whenever I say gnarly, people just look at me like, what? I think people stopped using it.

At some point. Not me. All right. What else do we got to do? What was the last movie you saw. Start with Jared. Watching stuff on the tour bus? The Hunt for the Wilder People.

Right? I think it's written by the guy from Flight of the Conchords, right? Yeah, you'd think wilder people's hard to pronounce. His name is Taika Waititi. And it's true. Why are you laughing?

Yeah, and that movie's great. I love that movie. Yeah, very cool. Jacob? I saw Rogue One for the third time, most recently. Shocking. You know what that is? That's a real Star Wars story. True Star Wars story. True Star Wars story. I like it more every time I see it.

What I like best about it at this point, because I need to see it more. But there's stuff I hate about it, but I want to hear yours first. What I like best about it is just how it's just fun that they made a movie that solves the dumbest thing about A New Hope,

is that the Death Star is so vulnerable. Yeah. And they showed how hard it was still to get that information. It didn't look as easy as it, you know, it didn't end up being as easy.

Yeah, I saw a great meme, though, that was like, it was her dad, Jyn Erso's dad saying, I'll do anything to protect you. And then, like, the split screen with her getting blown up

literally builds the thing that kills her. I haven't seen it. That was way more of a bummer than I thought it was going to be. Well, the whole movie's a bummer. Rogue One's a bummer. It's funny because people always feel the need to tell me what they feel about Star Wars. It's amazing how many texts I got when the movie came out.

I said, the new Star Wars is a bummer, dude. Right, but also, it's a movie where... Everybody dies, by the way. If you haven't seen it yet, the way. It's funny that... If you haven't seen it yet, everybody dies. It's funny that... Great. Just shut up, Donnie,

for just a minute, for fuck's sake. Donnie, me without Mark here. You gotta just blurt that shit out before I can stop you from just blurting that shit out. I was gonna say it in a much better way.

If you have any kind of brain and know how this movie is right before the beginning of The New Hope, a few minutes in, you pretty much know where the story has to go. You know what has to happen. And you know that what Jacob just said,

so bluntly, kind of needs to occur. So it's not as sad as... You know what I mean? I don't feel sad watching it. I mean, I will now, because of the very ending and who you see at the very ending. Which, let's as sad as... You know what I mean? I don't feel sad watching it. I mean, I will now because of the very ending and who you see at the very ending. Which, let's keep that as secret. Okay, sure.

Just for the fuck of it. I think everybody knows, but sure. No, they don't all know. That's why they're groaning with the idea of you possibly telling them. Do not fucking say it. I won't say it. You are making an I'm about to say it face. I won't say it. Come on, playa! But, if you don't know, you don't deserve to know at this point. It's been out like a... You know what I wanted't say it. Come on, playa! If you don't know, you don't deserve to know at this point.

It's been out like a... You know what I wanted to say earlier and it'll drastically change the subject is that that guy laughs like M. Bison when he just beats him. What were we talking about? We all forgot. Great job. M. Bison dies at the end of

Street Fighter Vizong. Spoiler alert. Every fucking time I play it he does Ryu, Merkson, right at the end Last level Here's what I don't like about Rogue One I don't like all the on the nose corniness I don't like all the talk about hope I don't like Vader with the choke on your aspirations

Punchline Luke is corny But he has a very specific brand of corny. That's just regular Hollywood corny, and I'm not... It's amazing that you're saying that to me, because... The things you liked. No, I didn't really like those things you're mentioning,

and I don't think also that those were supposed to be necessarily hard punchlines. Like, I saw it with a, you know, pretty full room of people who all knew Star Wars, and they, you know, didn't laugh much. There's much to laugh at in it, but it does have some humor. But what I was going to say is that it's the

first Star Wars movie that doesn't have any cutesy bullshit in it. There's nothing cutesy in it. It's an adult movie with adult characters. The little guy walks in and he's like, and he gets the fuck out of there. He's not like Salacious Chromeumb, where it's a stupid puppet jumping around.

Cutesy bullshit's part of Star Wars, though. What? Cutesy bullshit is part of Star Wars. No, I know, and it's great that they found a way to move away from that. I think we'll get cutesy bullshit in episode eight. Maybe, yeah, absolutely. And, you know, the one robot, the one droid

is supposed to be mostly for laughs. Yeah. The Alan Tudyk's droid. It's a very fun movie. Yeah, that's another thing. It's not really. I thought it was fun. It's more of a war movie. It's not like a fun swashbuckler movie.

The heroes are more dogged than swashbuckling and... You really pissed Doug. I've never seen his eyes this fucking open. In the years that I've never been around. You've never seen him fucking, I've never seen his eyes this fucking open. In the years that I've known him. You've never seen him fucking actually open his eyes completely? No, because it's like, it's like if I say that water's wet, if I say that water's wet,

Jacob goes, no, that's the driest water I've ever seen. We never agree, we never agree on anything, so I get real animated about it because... Green eyes? You're actually like, I've never noticed. I've never seen him that huge. He's usually just a red weird... Shit, I gotta reload. If you can see my eyes, something is very wrong. It's a good thing I have this tincture.

Put some of that in my beverage. I didn't even shoot some. I've never been in the same room with these two and, uh, they do, they go out right? It's sick. It's nuts. Okay.

Is that the, is that the... So I shouldn't start with that kind of weed, I said. Not that one. That's not what you started with. Looks like me, like nobody's done that before. It doesn't taste great before it doesn't taste great it doesn't taste great that's why you just want to put

like a couple drops in your drink or whatever you know or someone else's drink and they're not looking you're just a drink you know it's fine

I've roofied Jacob a couple times so he gets tired of arguing with him just finish your drink. But yeah, we really do come out having seen two different movies. I'm not...

But we both liked it. I do like the movie and I'll see it again. But that's the thing. I've watched Deadpool a million times and I've just started now on my quest to watch La La Land a million times. And in both cases I can pick them apart if you sit down and really talk about you know moment to moment

It's just the overall enjoyment that I get from them absolutely that really you know and it's fun to also Picket things by the way. I forgot to do it. I did some we're talking about Rogue one over talking about Star Wars rather I've never dedicated a performance to somebody before. What is happening? But I wore my special Barry Fisher t-shirt. I'm dedicating today to the memory of Barry Fisher and also Debbie Rowe. Debbie Rowe is a good guy. You gotta take the top shirt off completely. I don't know. I don't like the way the neck fits. He has a bacon neck. There's bacon neck on the t-shirt.

Old James Dean over here worried about looking cool. Take that button up off. Target circa 2009. I think you don't want to take off the top shirt because you cut that thing into wife beater. That's inappropriate. It's a shitty neck though. It's a shitty neck. Some girl help me on this. It's a shitty neck. It looks bad. What's wrong with it? It's too wide. though. It's a shitty neck, right? Some girl helped me on this. A shitty neck situation. It looks bad. What's wrong with it? It's too wide.

My clavicle situation. Nobody was gonna leave this show being like, you know what was fun except for Jacob's weird clavicle. You suck. I was. I almost threw up when I saw that clavicle. Did you notice Jacob had WCS? Weird clavicle situation.

And that's code for the kid because I don't want the kid to think that people just have weird clavicles all the time. I love that silence of, what does he mean by WCS? Can we get it just sitting here in the audience? All right, Bert Kreischer, turn the show off because I'm Bert Kreischer, turn the show off

because I'm about to say, Let the Grimms Begrim! I saw Miss Pendergrass. I was just thinking that. You saw Miss what? Miss Pendergrim? Miss Peregrim? Peregrim.

My mom wanted to go see it, so we went. Miss Peregrim's School for Unusual Nitwits. And Where to Find Them. Yeah, something like that. There's some long ass titles on the marquees this year. I do want to say this, that my sister, I didn't see this movie but this is so funny, I wanted to bring it up, my sister gave a white elephant gift at Christmas this year and it was a DVD and it was called

PMS Cop and the whole thing on the back, I swear the whole reason they made the movie, the quote was, it's a bloody period piece. It was hilarious to me. Sometimes you build a movie around a timeline. Hilarious to me. Somebody just said that and they're like, well, we've got to make a movie called PMS Cop.

Anyway, I'm sorry I interrupted. No, but I had not asked you what the last movie you saw was. And so you're correct to throw that in there. Yeah, we can just edit it out later. What if I just throw it in? I'll just throw it in sometime. Well, don't keep talking about it.

It's more for us to edit. Tomorrow's a holiday. Give my producers a break. Gee whiz. And gentlemen, pick your name tags. Lots of great name tags. While you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back.

Today's episode is brought to you in part by Lost in London. Academy Award nominated actor Woody Harrelson will direct and star in an unprecedented live comedy feature film event, Lost in London, live on January 19th. Harrelson, who wrote the feature film Lost in London, will also co-star with Owen Wilson and Willie Nelson. I like that lineup. This first-of-its-kind film event will screen live in select cinemas nationwide, giving audiences the unique opportunity to watch a film shot in real time.

Based on a crazy night full of real-life events, the comedy Lost in London follows Harrelson playing himself as he struggles to get home to his family. Run-ins with royalty, old friends, and the law all seem to conspire to keep Harrelson from succeeding. Following the feature presentation, Harrelson will participate in a live Q&A. Woody is quoted as saying, No one has ever shot a movie and live broadcast it into cinemas at the same time. No one's ever been that stupid. Until now.

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Squarespace. Make your next move. All right, we're back. Great job, everybody. That's douglosmovies.com. And Jacob, who are you playing for? You got a Millennium Falcon? I got a Millennium Falcon drone that was having trouble flying.

I guess it's the problem with the hyperdrive, I assume. And there's kind of a post-it on it that says, Return of the Jason. Super clever. But there's a J. We had a lot of fun During the break Like playing with the falcons

So but Yeah It was flying all over the place Until I wanted to film it Same problem That Spielberg had with Bruce So Warner Brothers Frogs and Millennium Falcons

Alright Who are you playing for Jared? Gordy Gordians of the Galaxy Yeah that's a nice That's good What kind of material is that? It looks almost like a throw rug or something.

It's paper. Like a match. It's just paper? Yep. And it's got me instead of Chris Pratt. You do look pretty good right there. That's good. I gotta get me one of those jackets. That's the key. I gotta get me some headphones and I...

Wear your Blade Runner hat. What's that old old timey thing he listens to music on? Walkman. Walkman. All right, what do you got there Sean? I'm playing for Brock and this poster is the Brock. I like that movie. And it's dope. And you are... Nicholas Cage? I think you're Nick Cage, maybe?

I don't know. Or Ed Harris. You look better on that one. Yeah. You can't look great on every poster. No. But really good job, everybody.

I appreciate all the name tags. Seriously, they're all fucking great. Very good. Very nicely done. Let's start off with a game that I call Characters Welcome. Guess as often as you'd like, you guys. I'm just going to start naming roles that one actor played.

And the first person to get it right wins. Sean is going for beer number two out of the bucket. I have to go to the bar real quick? The bucket bar? Take my ass to the store. I gotta say, I haven't seen this in many clubs. When we do Douglas movies, a whole bucket of beer is like that. That's a great idea.

Yeah, I'm excited about it. Better than one beer. But I need another Tito's. It's working. The drone just turned on. Oh, shit. I knew it was going to do it. Oh! Get your car out.

Get your car out. It went into the space slug that they have here in the comedy. It crashed right into that car. Fucking taken down by old-timey Scottsdale? Is that what that is? Those are my knocks, though. Chewing on the power cables. I deserve more.

Yeah. Watch your faces. I bet the manager's just in the back like, he's a fucking asshole. I bet the manager's just in the back like, he's a fucking asshole. Oh! Holy shit. Not even Han Solo could pull off that move.

Holy, that was going like 15 or 20 parsecs. That thing was really cooking. All right, so... Are you going to eat it back? Did a mean dad catch it? He's gonna keep it? Almost made the bucket of beers. You can have it back when you win the game. That's what I'd say.

Bumming me out. Little lead, now win the goddamn game. All right. Who played the following roles? James West Deadshot Will Smith Will Smith

Legend William J. Smith Yeah, that was a fast one. Will Smith is correct. I don't know how I knew it, but I thought we'd be running late at this stage of the show, so I made it a quick one. We are, right? I mean, Jacob's beer is going all over the place.

What else is new? You got it under control? Back in press, I used to call him beer all over the place. Don't pour beer on the Millennium Falcon. All the Star Wars stuff, my beer came. People begged me for it, so we're going to do it. Let's play Build a Title. You know how this one works, Jared?

No. We take a title, and then you guys just add another title to it through sound-alikes. It could be a very punny game. And we start with Jacobs, because he won that last game. And then we'll go to Sean, and then you, Jared, so you'll hopefully get the hang of it by the time it gets to you. Any movie. What? I can start with any movie movie. No you can't start with any movie. Oh, sorry. I've only played it once, the last time I was on the show. Oh, okay. Now you have a one-time advantage over Jared. Good luck.

Sure. Sorry, Gordy. We have to start with New Year's Eve Because it is It's on the early tip, but it is So you need a movie that ends in new Or begins with Eve People in the audience, what?

People in the audience, what? How about New Year's Evil Dead? Yes. But then I'll add something onto it. Yeah. So clever. New Year's Evil Dead. Good job. Be clever. Focused on you right Man. Good job. Be clever.

Focus on you right now. Yeah. The other game? Boys, boys. The game's going to keep going now. New Year's Evil... What the fuck? New Year's Evil Dead Man Walking.

Is it an ass-to-the-movie? Yeah. It's so interesting. Anything that ends with the word, like, if the second... New Year's Evil... No, just any words that come to mind. New Year's evil death man walking tall. Walking tall.

There you go. I fucking got it! You guys' jobs are easy. You guys get paid every four. What? Okay, it's Jacob's turn. It's so much harder to be in a band than what we're doing. It is.

I'm dead serious. I don't think so. You write songs and Jacob came up with New Year's Evil Pet. What do you got? Begins with tall, Jacob. Tall is tough and so is new. New is tough.

I thought of one for new. That's why I went with it. But it is tough. You thought of one? It is tough. That's all I got to think of. To make it legit. Oh, it's last call, everybody. Not if you were smart. You got a bucket. If you got a bucket of beers. Fuck last call everybody not if you were smart you got a bucket

if you got a bucket of beers fuck last call how about New Year's Evil Dead Man Walking Tall Tales with Patrick Swayze

and remember with the with the Paul Bunyan Tall Tales I don't remember the shitty kids movie but that's definitely with the Paul Bunyan? Tall Tales. The shitty kids movie. That's definitely the first word of the title. Tall Tales. New Year's Eve.

Bold Dead. Man Walking. Tall... What? Tall Tales from the Crypt. Bordello of Blood. Wow, you opened it up. You opened it up. Cracked this fucking thing wide open. Yeah, dude.

Alright, so you just need one. We need one that starts with blood. Yeah, so New Year's Evil Dead. Man. Walking. Tall. What was it? Tails. Tall tails. From the crib.

All you need to do is go from blood. Blood sport. You got through it. Blood sport. Easy. I'll just say that. I don't need to go through the whole thing. You got it. Makes it more fun. I like to think you've been thinking about blood sport all day and you finally got an excuse to say it.

Well, it gives Jacob a moment to achieve the impossible. I would like, uh... Yeah, I would like to ask the Tempia Prof for another, um, Tito's and soda, please. I wouldn't mind another Jameson on the rocks. Please. Anybody else?

Jacob. What did he ask for? A belt lifter? A belt lifter? Yeah I mean if I gave a shit I'd ask but Do you got anything Jacob? Does anybody else need a drink?

You could have ordered something. No, I'm just way too drunk at this hour. We've got a long way to go. It's a long way to Tipperary. We're going to get drunk all the way to next year, buddy. Somebody made a great mouth fart in the audience. There's not enough heckling. I wish Thor heckling was just mouth farts.

What if that was a real fart and now they're embarrassed? That was a loud real fart. Oh it was. That you did in a room of 300 people, that was crazy. Very rude of you to do. You did in a room of 300 people. That was crazy. Very rude of you to do.

You're stuck, right, Jacob? Knee-ears. Evil dead man walking. Tall. Tails from the crypt. Bordello of blood. Sportello of blood. I just more wanted to show off that I had the thing memorized.

Yeah, I'm done. Sportello of blood? I think Dennis Miller's brother Rich Miller was in that one. What's Joaquin Phoenix's name in Inherent Vice? Is his last name Sportello? It's something like that.

Doc is his first name. Can you do anything with this, Sean? You got anything that begins with sport? I mean, if TV was allowed, you could go Sport Charles. Sports Night. Or Sports Night. Is it

sported here's a who? You're out. Way to do my joke with different consonants. Jared, you want to take a swing at it? Sported people. He says he's good. He's not even going to speak into the microphone. As a singer, he gets

tired of making noises into microphones. He's taking the afternoon off. Oh, here comes some beverages. Thank you so much. There you go. Thank you so much. Yeah, you got a serious drink there, friend. I thought you were going to say serious drinking problem is what...

You would have nailed it. I can't. You know, I have to take a month off from drinking once a year to prove to myself I'm not an alcoholic. I haven't done that. What's the one that ends in new that you thought of? Oh, uh... what Maisie knew yeah it's on Netflix every time I'm trying to look for something

it's not about a missing child or whatever happens to Maisie I don't know what the fuck fucked up shit happens to Maisie but I'm not gonna watch it poor Maisie let's play Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game.

It's been a minute since we played this one. It's super fun. Jacob gets to start us off again because he... You were the last person to say something correct, weren't you? I think I won this.

Bloodsport was you? I was just trying to cheat but I'll take it No you won Sportello That'd be good Make Bloodsport those fellows Alright Here's how this game works I'm going to name an actor

You have to name a guest What might be in their top three movies, according to Box Office Mojo, adjusted for inflation. So chances are... Chances are it's not a recent movie, because unless it made a ton of movie... I'm saying too much.

No. No, you're not. I have no fucking idea. I'd love it if I could go study for a while. If I said to you the name of an actor, all you gotta do is think of what's in their top three money-making movies. You don't have to worry so much about adjusted for inflation, but that's just their idea, because that's how they

list things on there. Usually it's also just the ones that actually made the most money. You know, Gone with the Wind doesn't come up a lot. That's a classic example of a movie that would be one of the top ever if it was adjusted for inflation but it isn't so it only made $45

when Gone with the Wind came out they gave you a penny for going to the movies it's back when you had to work for a dollar god damn it people paid in verb pelts at the box office thanks son that really got me enough for the whole room People paid for pelts at the box office. Thanks, Sean. That really got me.

That got me enough for the whole room. Still getting me. And we take turns on this one. And you get to go first, Jared. Then we'll switch the order around. We'll go... Which way were we going last time? We'll go to Sean and then to Jacob. And then we actually

move it over one each round. So don't answer these until I ask you to answer. Don't be blurting out your answers on this one. Jerry. If I'd never played this, I'd be really confused. Yeah, it's confusing but you just gotta get in.

Someone can't just explain Monopoly and then you start playing. Doug, I think what you want to say here is, fuck off, player. Play on, play on. Fuck, fuck, so wait. Arizona's rubbing off on me. And if you get the number one movie, you get three points. If you get the number one movie, you get three points. If you get the number two movie, you get two points. If you get the number three movie, you get one point.

And we're going to play a few rounds and then see who has the most points. First actor. This is just for Jared. The only person in the room who gets to answer this. Here's my pen right there. Justin Timberlake. Top. The Facebook movie. Justin Timberlake. Top Facebook movie. Justin Timberlake.

What the fuck is the name of the Facebook movie? That would be what you need to say in order to make that your answer. The only other movie I could think of. That would be funny to buzz in on Jeopardy! He goes, what's the fucking Facebook movie, Alex?

What? It's in the form of a question, my answer. Because you definitely run as tight of a ship as Jeopardy, Doug. Jeopardy standards on DLM. He would fucking explode if somebody did that. I would love to see Alex Truback

do that. Okay, so do you want to take another guess or are you going to stick with the what is that Facebook movie called? Was it Connected? Don't you dare say anything, any of you. This is going to be my answer. The only other movie I can think of was

the Mike Myers movie that he was in, right? That's also not the name of it. I'm fucking sucked. Gordy, I'm so sorry, dude. And then that one thing with the chick. Yeah, the one with the girl. Since this is just the first round and you're new to this game, Jared, I'm going to give you, And then that one thing with the chick. Yeah, the one with the girl. Since this is just the first round and you're new to this game, Jared, I'm going to give you,

it's called the social network. Oh, wow. Is this going to give it to him? I'm just telling you. Seriously, I take this? I'm just telling you that's what it's called. I appreciate it. And then what we do is we proceed

and eventually you figure out why I would allow that comes to focus instead of complaining about it immediately. Sean. You had all that time to think of another Justin Timberlake movie. I was trying to be witty for the podcast so the listeners would have fun.

The Love Guru? Okay. I mean... He's in that. Jacob. Jules. Fuck. Okay. He's in that. Don't boo me. Who the fuck boos? Jacob. Trolls. Trolls is number one. What?

Word up, man. Trolls is number fucking one. That's right. Coming in at number two, Yogi Bear. Starring our friend T.J. Miller. Trolls. Denver. Yeah, Denver. Yogi Bear, starring our friend TJ Miller! Denver! Yeah, Denver!

It's so great that doing that is a Pete Holmes or a TJ Miller impression. They boosted our back. That's what it's like. My throat would be so sore if I were them at the end of the day. From all the alley blowjobs they give out. People don't know that about those two guys. They love black alley, pack alley blowjobs. I don't know Pete.

Or black, black, pack alley blowjobs. I don't know Pete well, but TJ, that's true for sure. Number three for Timberlake was Bad Teacher. And the Love Guru was... And coming in, Love Guru didn't crack the tongue. It totally did. I wrote down number four because I thought it would be of interest and that somebody might guess it.

Number four, and not worth any points, The Social Network. The fucking Facebook. Yeah. So, Jacob's out of the game with three points and the other two fellas have none. Here's the next round. Oh, and by the way, I picked Justin Timberlake because Sean follows Justin Timberlake on Twitter.

I love Justin Timberlake. That's one of the best things about getting older is I can say that I fucking love Justin Timberlake. Dude, I love Drake. Drake's the shit. I don't care anymore. I would love it if Justin Timberlake. Dude, I love Drake. Drake's the shit. I don't care anymore. I would love it if Justin Timberlake

and Drake, where they were like, hey, we're both gay, we're gonna get married and we're gonna have an amazing music for the rest of our lives and be happy lovers.

And I'd be like, I'm a huge fan of them. All of them. And then Drake could move to the States because he'd get that visa. Yeah, I'm sure he's struggling with his citizenship issues.

Drake. Hey, you know, there's a podcast now called Julian Loves Music. I should try to get you on that one. Yeah, so I can talk about it. You suddenly have a lot to say. Nobody's ever brought up Justin Timberlake and Drake on a podcast at the same time before.

So we can talk about that. Alright, so you get to start this one. Jacob. Sean. All by myself Huh? We were going to go Yeah, we're going to rotate So he first gets a chance to go first

And it's Chris Evans this time What do you think is in his top three, Sean? Captain America Civil War? I imagine. Would be the first one. It's with the lights mattering. Don't we all not agree that's the fucking... Jacob,

it doesn't matter what anybody thinks. I have the actual answer. We're going to know it very soon. Maybe I looked at it because you're holding that list so close to my face just so great I think obviously a Marvel movie something what would be civil war answer the question I'm gonna wow that's very fuck of you definitely not rise of the Sun That's very fuck of you.

That's definitely not Rise of the Silver Star. Definitely wasn't badass porn. I'm going to go with there's no way, but Captain America, Meredith's First Avenger. The First Avenger. Captain America, The First Avenger. I'll just be safe and go with Winter Soldier,

maybe for some reason. Full title? The fucking Winter Soldier. Captain America. That's it. And then the rest. The Winter Soldier. There we go.

There it is. What one did you say? Civil War. And Jacob? I said the first Captain America. Number one. Marvel's The Avengers. Fuck!

I figured Civil War would have blew that up. That movie was pretty huge, you guys. That's why they keep making them. And then coming in at number two, Avengers Age of Ultron. It wasn't even that good. Why did you guys all go see that? It wasn't that good.

I like that one. That one grew on me with multiple viewings. And then coming in at number three, Captain America Civil War. Here we go. There you go. On the board. Sean is on the board. Race at the table.

Yeah. All right, Jacob gets to go first on this one. And I pick Chris Evans because Jacob follows Chris Evans on Twitter. I do? Oh, yeah, because he's really... I just started recently because he's very political and cool politically. Who would you like Chris Evans to go with? Evans on Twitter. I do? Oh yeah, because he's really... I just started recently because he's very political

and cool politically. Who would you like Chris Evans to... I mean, not for you guys, because you live in Arizona, but for normal people who live in the civilized world. Is there a Canadian that you... Who aren't racist, fascist assholes. Not you guys, your parents. I can't do it three times. Who wants to vote? Not this young crowd.

Yeah, when Jacob's talking, it's tough to get in there. It's called Passover for fucking 40 years. You get trained. Passover at any Jewish household. Jews are this thing that live in other states. We have a whole thing. They have this holiday. It's around Easter. Everybody talks loud.

Jacob, did you see up on the hill over there, they've got a huge menorah. I know, I didn't see it. Yeah, and it's properly, because wasn't it about the last day of Hanukkah? Tonight is the last day. Yeah, and all eight of the candles on the menorah were lit. That's what happens.

Jacob, will you explain the house over in detail to me real quick? Big shout out to all the Arizona Jews. So it's like Easter with no Jesus. There are, at Scottsdale, a lot of Jews in Scottsdale. I didn't know they were allowed outside of Scottsdale, but apparently they let them come to Tempe for Dougloves movies. All right, here we go. Tucson?

All right, here we go. Any part of that you're not getting? All right, here we go. And you talk again. She was heckling. All right, here we go. And then you talk again. She was heckling. All right, here we go. She was heckling. All right, here we go. Yeah, fucking Donnie.

I didn't say Donnie, because I don't think Donnie would even know what I'm doing. You know that Donnie's the safe word, right? Yeah. Okay. You're first, Jacob. The films of Jaden Smith. Number one would be...

Did they rename it? I think it's just called The Karate Kid. Motherfucking Karate Kid. Even though he was in China doing Kung Fu. Who's next? Jared is. Jared. What's that fucking movie?

With him and his dad. And there's another Earth or something. After Earth. It was the year... Yeah. After? Yes! You guys. I'm definitely going to give you the title because I made $3. All right.

He's going to go with After Earth, but that's funny how the audience gets to cheer him into a correct answer. Thanks for helping us. I like that you guys have my back. I appreciate it. You guys are good. They don't want you to rob their house. They don't want you to rob their house.

They don't want you to rob their house. They don't want you to rob their house. He's already stolen their hearts. What are you, a comedian? Come on now, that was perfect. This was New Year's, not Valentine's Day. That was perfect! I'm going to say... Laser!

Are we done? Yeah, what do you got? Pursuit of Happiness. Full title? And how's it spelled? Is that not the full title? What'd you say? The Pursuit of Happiness.

Okay. I thought you dropped the the. I did, but also, don't ask me to spell pursuit in front of all these people we know it wouldn't work but you know happiness is spelled unusually correct? no I didn't know that I thought Sean was worried about pursuit

boy I'm dumb boy I sure am a dumb kid from South Dakota that is weird that any one person could spell pursuit but not happiness. They should fuck up every word in that title to make it more accurate. I can spell Will Smith. Alright, so...

Coming in at number four, After Earth. Number three is The Day the Earth Stood Still. Yeah, he's in that. And then number two is The Karate Kid. Two points for Jacob. Brings him to five points.

And Sean has one point. Wait, what was number one? The Pursuit of Happiness. Still not enough to get Sean to catch up to Jacob. Are we done? Still a fun finish. Yeah, that's it with that game.

That's crazy I made that much money. Let's go fight. I had a tiebreaker. All worked out, but we don't need to play it. Can we do it anyways? All right. Thanks. Oh, there's a gentleman in the audience

who would like us to have some fun. I'm going to need a gallon of Jameson up here. All right, so let's do this. Who are we starting with? We'll start with Jared. Mark Wahlberg. You guys want to do some lines? Look good, feel good, Look good, feel good.

I'm sorry I couldn't be with you guys today, but I'm saving the world. He was fucking funny all week. That movie's gonna suck so bad. What do you got for your top three,

for his top three there, Jared? Any, just name any Mark Wahlberg movie. We're just doing this one for fun, so I'd like it to be over a week. I just saw the Deep Horizon one, and it probably wasn't that. Do you think it could be the Planet of the Apes?

No, right? Those are the only two I can think of. We've got one more game to play after this. Let's get out of this habit of involving the audience and helping you to determine the answer, because that's not how this works. You said play of the age. Moving on. Jacob.

Sean, either one of you. I don't give a fuck. I think it's Transformers Age of Extinction. Sean, what do you got? Since we're playing for fun, I'm going to say fear. Because that's the best part. Now look at the bucket house! Number one, The Perfect Storm. Number three, Age of Extinction.

And number one, Planet of the Apes! That's number two. That was number one? That was number two. Did you say the number one? It's his number two movie in War Ways to One. I yelled number one in my excitement and repeated seven or eight times number two, number two,

and then you asked me and I said number two, and then you just asked me again. Did you say number one? No, did you say what number one was? Did you say what number one was? Did you say what number one was? I said number one was Perfect Storm. Oh, you did. My sister gave a Christmas present.

It was a white elephant gift. It was called PMS Cup. I think the whole reason is so they could just say the bloody period piece. It's really, I like that. That's gnarly, Cleo. Wait, to cleanse our palace, you just use the same story every time?

Whenever things get tense, Sean goes into his fucking hilarious period story. It's not so much me as the director and producer of PMS Cop that made it a hilarious story. I just convey it. I'm just a messenger at this point. Everybody calm down. everybody calm down. Everybody calm down!

Everybody chill out. Cause we're gonna play Last Man Stanton! But guess what? It's the new twist to Last Man Stanton. Last Mash Stanton. You guys are going to take turns. I already know who it is, so I don't get to play. But I mashed up two names together.

So it's the films of either of these people that you have to name in order. You know how Last Man Stanton works? It's like if you had two names. Yeah, I got it. So you made it easier. It should be easier, but it won't be. You both have to be in each movie. It should be. No.

That's the only way I can think that it would be harder. Yeah, that'd be really hard to think of those. Because their names mash up together. You'll see. In my experience with this game, it's much harder. There are two names, but they're much more difficult names. Let's save all the comments and questions for, like, the parking lot. What?

If you just let me finish describing how this works instead of taking turns interjecting with more shit. Instead of taking turns interjecting with more shit. Yeah, do a lot of the things that the podcast listeners can't hear. Totally douchey hand signals. Yeah, Jared, chill out. You each get one lifeline.

That's the person whose name tag you chose. So use it wisely. Yeah. Those gestures you were doing were like threatening that person. Yeah, have a fucking answer. Come on, Brock. Get it together, Brock. I've got my eye on you, Brock. All right, so here's what we're gonna play. Who won that last game? Not Jared, he won the tiebreaker.

Jacob won. Okay, so we'll start with Jacob, and then we'll go to Jared, and then to Sean. And you guys have to name films featuring one of these two actors Jennifer Lawrence Fishburne this is just between the gentlemen on stage starting with you Jacob the matrix so fuck you another person. Yeah, there's two people, and between the two of them there's probably about 50 titles to choose from.

They won. Passengers? Yes. Yeah, okay. Has anybody seen Passengers? Motherfucker. Is it good? The word is kind of mixed. I was fired up for it

and then I just heard it wasn't that great so I lost. I had the same thing happen to me. I was all ready to see it and then I let the critics and reviews get to me. What? Stop. I win. I fucking win. Fishman's fucking in it.

I win. I'm out. I'm out. Thank you guys. Arizona's fucking in it? I win. I'm out. Thank you guys. Arizona will be in the marquee tonight. Gordy, come get your shit. You guys are great. Thanks for having my back. Fuck you, fuck you. I love you, Doug. I'm gonna show up to your show tonight and run up on stage and sing a song.

He's really leaving? I think he won, though. I don't believe I said that he did. Oh, he's coming back! That was so baller! I get extra points. That was so exciting that you were really leaving. Every time that happens to me,

the person comes back, and it's disappointing to me. I should have just... No, I'm excited. I'm glad you came back. There was an episode of Getting Done with Hyde where David Cross got up and stormed out of the room

and I was like, please don't come back because I'd just be so fucked up a few minutes into the taping to just leave and not come back.

But then he came back. So it wasn't as funny anymore. I like commitment. I agree. I enjoy commitment. I was like, I can't believe he just declared himself the winner and left. It's like those,

you gotta wait till after nightfall to rob those places anyway. It's probably dark out by now, you guys, with that weird hour that we're missing. I think it's like the guy that Superman and the first, when he's climbing up the side of the wall, you know, the cat burglar in the first Superman movie the first guy Superman busts it's your turn right?

you should go yeah what the fuck is happening it's on Sean now Winter's Bone you're god damn right I have a tattoo of Winter's Bone on my inner thigh I don't I don't.

I don't have any tattoos. How about The Matrix Reloaded? Yeah, sure. You're pretty much handing those out. The first time you said The Matrix was a good clue. Jerry? Hunger Games. Let's go with Mockingjay. What? Is there another one? Should I start at the beginning? Hunger Games, let's go with Mockingjay. Come on! What? Is there another one? Should I start at the beginning?

No, I'm just trying to think of which one was called Hunger Games, let's go with Mockingjay. That was a prequel when she was in kindergarten. They're like, come on, Mockingjay. You're gonna do something. She got her Mockingjay pin on her little Girl Scout uniform. Just pick one where it's easy and you know all the words.

With Lawrence Fishburne. I bet his friends call him Larry. He used to be credited as Larry Fishburne. Did he really? Yeah, and then one day he woke up and it was Lawrence. Shit got real serious. He woke up and he's like,

I don't work at a steel mill. I'm not going to be named Larry anymore. He told me to call him Fish. He was Larry Fishburne in the credits of Huey's Playhouse where he was Cowboy Curtis. Curtis. Yeah. All right.

Do you have one, Jared? The Hunger Games? The Mockingjay? Just fucking say the Hunger Games and stop talking. Jared? The Hunger Games? The Mockingjay? Just fucking say the Hunger Games and stop talking. Okay, the Hunger Games. So easy. Jared, come back.

Jared, I don't want you to be done. I don't want you to be out of here. Now after telling him he has to commit, we'll see which way this one goes. He's working his way through the crowd. I want you to be out of here. Now after telling him he has to commit, you see which way this one goes. He's working his way through the crowd. He's drinking somebody's drink. He's the people's player.

Jared, army crawl back up here. While you're making your way back up, I'm going to say Mystic River. All right. I love Jennifer. You guys don't like super depressing movies? Mystic River. I love super depressing movies.

That's why I'm going with The Matrix Revolutions. Yeah. Glad we banged all those out. Sean? No, Jared. Oh, he's out. Oh, I didn't notice he came back. Jared?

Gordy, you got anything? Oh, we're going to the lifeline. Yeah, don't forget your lifeline. Boys in the hood. He's going boys in the hood. Furious Styles. That's a name right there. Do you want to do that?

Boys in the hood? Okay, good. How do you want to do that? How do you spell all the boys The OIC is you guys actually there's three of these I did huh? There's three things. No there isn't Bunch of squares up here ice cube did later have three X's. Triple X, yeah, he was a Triple X. He was Triple X for a while there, but now Vin Diesel said, I'm taking it back. Vin Diesel's like, I took my Bane coat out of the closet, and I'm ready to be that Triple X guy again.

Look at that fur coat on Winter in Russia. No better way to spend Winter in Russia with a fur coat and a wife beater on. And no hair. I'm going to say The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1. That's why you're doing it. Oh, there's two parts to it. Okay. I get it now. I get it now. Yeah, it's not about Mockingjay.

I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it why you told me to do it. Sean, how do you spell part in that title? How do I spell part in that title? Yeah, it could be...

D-A-N-K, or if it depends on what part of the country you're from, the other way to spell it is B-U-C-K. Dank or buck is what I just did. Slang terms that I use a lot. I was just kidding. But there is a specific way to spell it. P-L-A-Y-A.

True. That's a weird way to spell it. Which way do they spell it? P-T period. That. Yeah. That's a weird way to spell it. Which way did they spell it? P.T. period. Yeah. That's fun. So I'm gonna go with The Hunger Games Mockingjay P.T. period too. Don't bring up periods around Sean. It's funny that you should mention that. My sister gave

White Elephant a PMS cop. She got it with sabers in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. There's a quote on the back, it said, a bloody period piece. What a genius. Who is the genius? Jared just left again. Alright, it's back. Jared, it's nice to see you again. Hey, what's up?

What's that fucking movie with Christian Bale? Wait, is it your turn? Jennifer Lawrence. It's his turn? Is that in the 70s or something? What? Thanks for my right answer. Yeah, I know.

Everyone knows what you're thinking, and they all want to say it. Yep. I'll say it in a second. Don't worry. All right, go ahead. Sorry, Gordy. No, you can't be out. Oh, you out? I can't say it. I'm say it in a second. Sorry, Gordy. You can't say it. You guys make me so nervous.

You look super nervous. People really lean back in a chair like that. Like this, right? This is what happens when I'm nervous. What? Alright, so we'll move on to Sean. American Hustle.

American Hustle. American Hustle. Oh, he finally thought of it. He finally thought of it. Okay, good. American Hustle. Good job, Derek. Wow. I almost gave it to you.

Great job. Great job. Okay, Sean. I'm going to hand it to you now. Oh, way too easy. Now I can't think of one. Of either? Hold on. Hey, I robbed you of that answer.

Use your lifeline. I made a joke. About my clothes. I'm going to hop on stage and sing a song today. You might be able to go. The Brock might be able to help you out. Yeah, Brock, what do you got? I'm not trying to rush you along on my show.

What do you got? He's going Hunger Games Catching Fire. That better be the right title. The Hunger Games Catching Fire. I like it. Yeah, let's do it. I like it. Alright, Jacob. How about Joy? How about it?

Back to you, Jared. Don't you almost get an answer again and then I'll get it. What's that? Don't do it. I have nothing. I'm out. Sorry, Courtney. I tried my best, buddy. You did great.

Thank you, guys. I was all I got so far. Sean, I have a whole lot with both. Silver Linings Playbook. Yes. I'm just going to write down people for the sake of time. Jacob? How about Deep Cover?

Yeah. Deep Cover. Have you ever heard of that? Oh, it's right. Black people are in it. Never mind. Arizona. Larry Fishburne and Jeffrey Goldblum.

Jeff Goldblum. There's a black and a Jew. Arizona didn't even get that movie in the theaters. Saying a black sounds a lot worse than saying a Jew. Easy to say for a Gentile. Yeah. Depends on which one you're looking at when you say it. Sounds so harsh. Yeah.

Snoop Dogg's first appearance was a soundtrack of it. Like, people say, you say, I've heard you say this phrase, I'm a Jew. And I've never heard a black person say, I'm a black.

But gays say, I'm a gay, with that ironic cute shit they do. Yeah. They're just having fun. Yeah, they're fun. Gays are these people

that are scared to come here, Arizona. If you've ever heard of them before. They're long like blacks and Jews. Do you think of one yet? Nope.

It's not happening. It's tough, right? Yeah. Well, I mean, it's not tough. Plus, Jacob just said he's got a ton of them over there.

I know. That doesn't help. That's some of that mental warfare. No, I don't have one. All right. Sorry, Brock. That's good timing.

I suck. Jacob's our winner! Can we do more? Yeah, you can say some more if you want. Apocalypse Now Now The Fish Girl Event Horizon The Hunger Games

Nobody said The Hunger Games Yeah, we did The first one? Yeah, yeah X-Men First Class Any of those other shitty new X-Men's? Oh yeah, all the X-Men's that have her in them, sure She's in Apocalypto Now Any of those other shitty new X-Men? Oh yeah, all the X-Men that have her in, I'm sure.

She's in Apocalypto. Now. Alright. I think we did pretty good. What did we miss? Oh, it's Jacob. We missed Man of Steel and B.V. Superman. Yeah, he's Perry White in those.

Predators. Predators. By the way, the guy that gave me the Star Wars belt buckle directed the movie Predators. Quick name drop that nobody cares about. My buddy Nimrod Antal directed that movie. What? Nimrod Antal.

Our kids went to kindergarten together. He's a director. His name is Nimrod Antal, and he directed Predators. I met that guy. He gave me that Star Wars belt buckle. It's a present. What? What do you have to say?

You like him. You like Nimrod. He made the movie Control with a K. Hungarian movie. Very good movie. It's a weak name drop, but he's a good friend of mine. You're an interesting man. Yeah, but you lose everybody on Nimrod and just go. I know. That's his name.

He's just talking, talking, talking. It was like, Nimrod? I know. That's his actual name. It's a bummer. You know what's funny about that name? No, really. It's fascinating. There's things that are funny about that name. No, because he hates the name because Nimrod has become a

synonym for idiot. What kind of Nimrod would want to be called Nimrod? Let me explain that. Nimrod is a character from the Bible, I believe, and he's actually known to be a great hunter. And the only reason it's known as an idiot is because Bugs Bunny used to call Elmer Fudd Nimrod ironic. Because he was a hunter.

Yeah, he was a hunter, but a shitty one. He's like, what a real Nimrod here. But he meant it ironically, but it became synonymous for an idiot. But Nimrod Antal, the guy who gave him the Star Wars belt buckle, hates the name. See what I'm saying? How you could have said all that right away? That was the interesting part. Well, I'm new to the show, Doug. I'm learning.

What do you got to plug, dude? January 20th, I'll be in San Francisco doing a show called Siroth Bentley. I always plug it on here. My friend Cassine Bentley and I, he's a black, and we do an hour of racial crowd, racist, racial, what's the difference?

Crowd work together. That's going to be part of San crowd, racist, racial, what's the difference, crowd work together. That's going to be part of San Francisco Sketch Fest, January 20th. And then March 2nd, I'll be at the American Comedy Company without a black, just by myself, in San Diego, California. What was the name of the dude with the Millennium Falcon? Jason. Because he wins the stuff. Yeah, come and get it dude Congratulations

Oh yeah we should give him his His drone back Can I have this or do you really want to keep this I think he'd want to have that Is he going to throw it to him again It's always fun Nice By the way I didn't win today Carrie Fisher won throw it to him again? It's always fun. Nice.

By the way, I didn't win today. Carrie Fisher won today. That was nice of us. Very sweet of us to do that dedication. Jared, go see the Dirty Heads tonight. And go to, I'm guessing, DirtyHeads.com for tour dates.

Yep. Lock your doors. See you in your house later on tonight. Yeah, that's right. God damn right you will. It's hard to walk across all the non-wands, which is rocks. If you happen to know a house where there are children sleeping, do you give them a little kiss on the forehead? Are you more of a kissing bandit or a wet bandit? Bye.

Don't walk off again. And Sean Jordan, what do you got coming up? I'll be at Healing Comedy Club in Portland, Oregon January 5th through the 7th. And then I'll be at Sketch Fest in San Francisco a week before

we can friendship but I'll be there the 13th, 14th, 15th I think something like that so fucking go to Portland, San Francisco

everybody take a little vacation one more time for all of my guests Jacob Stiroff Jared Watson and Sean Jordan. Now it's time for Sokio Watch. I'm Dr. Pocky. I suppose this viewing power is made to seem cocky.

That's not at all the cue that I said. We've discussed the two shitheads. There will be two of them. And after the second one, go nuts. Thank you to the Debian Prom for having me. Thank you to all of you for listening

and coming to the show today. And as always... Oh, wait, I got one more plug I want to get in. I'm doing an offensive movie interruption of Fifty Shades of Grey at the Castro Theater in San Francisco as part of the aforementioned sketch fest on January 15th at 420. Alright, here we go. As always, Betty White is a real

shithead. I don't know why the real shithead, like real. I'm not fucking around. She is a shithead. And the Arizona Wildcats are a shithead. Once again, thanks to Lost in London,

Woody Harrelson will direct and star in an unprecedented live comedy feature film event. Yeah, I don't get it either. That's going to be interesting. Lost in London Live on January 19th. Do not miss this cinematic event. Yeah, I don't get it either. That's going to be interesting. Lost in London Live on January 19th. Do not miss this cinematic event. Tickets are on sale now at fathomevents.com. See you next time. No, I won't. I won't see you. This is an audio only podcast. now it's time for doug to watch another talkie eyes of gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky there's no room in his heart for you