Doug Loves Movies - Jay Chandrasekhar, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter and Erik Stolhanske guest

Episode Date: April 9, 2015

Doug welcomes Broken Lizard members Jay Chandrasekhar, Steve Lemme, Paul Soter and Erik Stolhanske to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, hey, hey everybody! This episode is brought to you in part by our friends at Squarespace. Squarespace is the easiest way to create a beautiful website, blog, or online store for you and your ideas. Squarespace features an elegant interface, beautiful templates, and incredible 24-7 customer support. Try Squarespace at squarespace.com and enter the offer code DOUG at checkout to get 10% off. Squarespace. build it beautiful. Enjoy the show. Doug hates candy wrappers, creamy babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepam or kernels in his teeth.

There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug loves movies. Hey, everyone. Schmovies Oh, you caught it. You guys are quick on the uptake. Good job. Yeah, today somebody is going home with a schmovie. Somebody's winning a schmovie. We're coming to you once again with the free monthly show at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles on a rainy Tuesday, April 7, 2015. Next show here at UCB will be on May 12. Athens, Georgia.

I'm doing stand-up this Thursday at the Georgia Theater. And Atlanta, I'll be at the Improv Sunday night. Bring your name tags to both of those shows because a game will be played. Last weekend in Portland, some people won the prize bag just for being the only person who brought a name tag. Now it's time for Tweet Relief Treats About Movies. IamReeseKern tweeted, a name for the next Fast and Furious? How How about eight is enough? This has been a Tweet Relief 789 edition. Also in the prize bag today, we've got a Douglas Movies T-shirt, a scarf from Hitman Glass, a lighter from Chameleon Glass,

and whatever my guests brought, I just raced in here, so I didn't really have time to chat with my guests about what they brought. And also, I think, I'm pretty sure only three out of the four of them are here at the current time. But we'll see what happens after I introduce. Everybody, please give a big, warm welcome to Broken Wizard. Yes, it's the stars, writers, and producers of Super Troopers 2. Coming very soon. Jay Chandra Sarkar.

Steve Lemme. Is Steve here? Steve's not here. Eric Stolhansky. Paul Soder. There he is. Hey, buddy. Nice to see you. All right. It's quite a polite group we have here. You guys, you haven't even picked up your microphones.

You've got to crack your beers open. We know our priorities. Get those going. Traffic was a bitch. Right? That was a problem, wasn't it? It sure was. Let's introduce you individually.

Steve Lemme's here, everybody. Hello. Hello. And, yeah, what part of town were you coming over from, if you don't mind saying? hello and uh yeah what part of town were you coming over from if you don't mind saying Woodland Hills

oh no you did not try to do that I did oh no I did my ways told me I'd be here at 645

and I usually believe her she's usually pretty reliable not tonight your ways is a lady she is okay she's a hell of a lady? She is. She's a hell of a lady. Oh, it talks to you?

Oh, she talks. Waze? Yeah. Because you can also just look at it on your phone, can't you? It's less safe, though, right? Yeah, I don't like to look at it. I did the... I didn't know I was signing up for Safe Waze to get around town. I want the fastest and most dangerous way.

That's what I've got. I put it on the Terry Crews feature. When there was a movie, he... You put it on Terry Crews control? Enough said. Enough said.

But Terry Crews isn't as friendly as the regular ways. Alright. Eric Stolhansky's here, everybody. But Terry Crews isn't as friendly as the regular ways. All right. Eric Stolhansky's here, everybody. Am I saying that right? Yeah. Well done. Stole your house key.

What's that? Stole your house key. No. Phonetically, I can remember it. That's how you say it? Yeah. But then that's wrong, right? Sort of. If I said stole your house key, I'd be wrong in several points of it, right?

That's how you remember your own name? Yeah. The mnemonic device is harder than the actual name. That's Paul Soder, everybody. Hey, how are you? And let's give it up for Jay. Everybody knows Jay. Hi, Jay.

And let's give it up for Jay. Everybody knows Jay. We just this afternoon did Getting Doug with High together. And that was fun. I feel like for me the third time was a charm. The first two times I didn't really know how to get high with you, and I learned the hard way. But this third time,

I felt like I figured it out. Is there a secret? Is there a... Be careful. Be careful. That's the secret. Don't smoke too much. I've enjoyed watching you on Getting Doug with High

quite a bit, Jay. You know, my first plan was to outsmoke him, and then midway through, you're like, I need a new plan. So I did the show a second time and tried to do it again. And then needed a new plan again.

This time, I executed a new plan. And how'd it go? What was it? I feel good now. Did you submit? I submitted. I did. It's funny, because that's what you say

every time you hang out with Willie Nelson. You're going to try to outsmoke him, and halfway through you start to panic. I did try that, too. That didn't work out either. Yeah. But you have smoked with him. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, all you've got to do is be near Willie, and you're going to smoke with him.

Yeah. Yeah, I got to corner him in a corner. I'd pin that old man down. You did? In his trailer, his tour bus outside of

Jimmy Kimmel Live in Boston, Texas. His famous honeysuckle rose trailer. No, no, this was a blank one. This was one that

doesn't get pulled over when they're driving through Texas. So, yeah, so that was neat. So I crossed him off of my, I don't know, bucket list is not the right word.

Is it a written list? Nope. It's real simple. We call it the Mount Cushmore. I've smoked with Snoop, Cheech, Chong, and Willie. Nice. Yeah. And hopefully soon all of Broken Lizard.

Right, that sort of smaller Mount Rushmore What do you guys think? Yeah, you're just like five weird on the sides. Like are those faces or just a coincidence

that there's look like faces? Hedges. They're not carved into stone. It's just hedges. The hedges around? By the gift shop. Yeah, behind the gift shop.

There's some bobble heads over at the side. Oh, I like it for the podcast. The visual I like it for the podcast. The visual humor. Visual is always good. But also, if people know what you and your head look like, that bobblehead thing you did was so subtle

because you already look like a bobblehead. I don't know if that's a compliment or not. Doug, you know what? We're getting off on the wrong foot here. Bobbleheads are an incredibly beloved toy. That's a compliment or not. Doug, you know what? We're getting off on the wrong foot here. Bobbleheads are an incredibly beloved toy. That's a compliment? Yeah, yeah.

Looking like a bobblehead is awesome. Thanks a lot. Thanks. Don't you agree? You got there, bobblehead. But the rest of you guys, Paul and Eric and Steve,

would you participate in getting Doug with High at some point? Because it would be fun. And of course, we should mention that Kevin Heffernan isn't here. No, he's not. So rest in peace. Yeah.

It's a real shame that he's gone and couldn't make this show. Yeah, the timing was bad for him to die just before your show. No, Doug, my idea was that we were gonna kick off our Super Troopers crowdfunding campaign by doing getting Doug with High as like a

telethon and that we were gonna do it like all night long and have people and have a big tally board and a timpani

and live acts I was I pushed that and I got the blankest fucking looks from these guys but your Indiegogo is done in like 13 days or something like that live acts. I pushed that and I got the blankest fucking looks from these guys. But your Indiegogo is done in like 13 days or something like that?

17. We could do the final countdown. Well, I don't know, man. I mean, I'd be happy to get involved, but that's a little tight to put on a show like that. You know, I'm not Mickey Rooney or Judy Garland. Don't tell yourself that.

Are they known for full-scale telethons? You know, I said the word show, so I was making the leap to a show in a barn. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I couldn't think of... The only thing I could think of was from Justin to Kelly, and that's a current reference

of young people getting something done. And that's not current at all, and they didn't get something done. And that's not current at all. And they didn't get it done. I have to... So, have we... Jay is terrible at promoting your thing, you guys, by the way. I mean, I know we were getting high. But every time I bring it up, he just doesn't add to it.

He doesn't say where people should go to contribute. Like, look at him. He's just hanging out. Well, here's the thing. He wants to be aloof like a chick. No, no. A chick? The chick people?

Like a chick. Oh, okay. The Czechoslovakians are also very aloof. I sat there thinking after I'd smoked that grass, I'm like, is it

twosupertroopersmovie.com or movietwosupertroopers.com or supertroopers2movie.com and I couldn't figure it out. So I just sort of sat there

and looked around while you talked about it. Do the rest of you guys know? Yeah, it's supertroopers2movie.com Okay. I knew it.

I knew it. Why would the two come any earlier than right after Super Troopers? When he says it like that, it's obvious. It's either

two movie or movie two, but it's not two Super Troopers movie. Although, we thought about calling the movie Super Troopers

for a long time. Right. Was it that? Maybe. Maybe. What about, you know, because the colons

are so popular in movie titles, why not Super Troopers 2 colon Super Troopers? Smart idea. That's smart. We've been thinking about calling it Super Troopers 2 The Edge of Darkness, which we think has a tough, catchy ring to it. Don't you agree? Right, right. It's a good thing you're crowdfunding it,

because any studio head would immediately be upset that you're giving it a title that already creates confusion. We did offer a couple of amazing new prizes today. One prize we offered for $100,000. The five of us will be the godfather

of your child. Wow. Wow. Five. That's pretty good. Like, only one of you has died so far. I know. I mean you. You're the fifth one.

Oh, okay. There's five of us here. I've been. Sure, I'll be the Doug father. Yeah. Of this child. Yeah, but so... Sad child. No, he'll be very happy with the five of us as godfather

because one of the perks in this prize is that we will give we are going to send that child a birthday present every year for 21 years. That's true. Yeah. And we're going to start a college fund for him as well. Yeah, $1,000 into the college fund. Okay. Pay $100,000

and we'll give you $1,000. Yeah, I mean, you're paying for it. Or you could just put $100,000 into his college'll give you $1,000. Yeah, I mean, you're paying for it. Yeah, why not? Or you could just put $100,000 into his college fund. That would be surprising. How could you not sign up for this? Jay didn't know the answer to this, but maybe you guys do. Is it tax deductible? Is it a charitable contribution?

Yes. You had to ask. Yes. Is it? I don't know. See? I could have said that. I'm so excited.

Yeah, he sounded like he meant it. We has to be. I'm so excited. Yeah. He sounded like he meant it. We have another great new prize that we're offering today. I can tell your head's going crazy. Yeah, yeah. Actually, I have Parkinson's disease, so shut the fuck up. Dick. Oh, wow. Dick.

Wow. Three people just bought it. This is the way, the last time I came on the show, this is the way Doug and I started, wow. Wow. Three people. This is the way, the last time I came on the show, this is the way Doug and I started, too. Really, I realized our personalities somehow, he likes to attack me, and I take it. I take it. That's why we've separated you.

I think I'm just most comfortable with you. And you are sitting, that is an interesting seat choice that you made tonight. Because you're like, I'm going to be over here because then Doug might not be able to lash out so easily. I know, I know.

It's like I came out here and this was the only seat available and I was like, all right, I'm going to make a choice here. I'm just saying, yeah, you didn't fight for the other seats. That's how badly you wanted that one. Because I was getting my gifts backstage.

What's in the gift bag? What did you bring? What did you bring? What did you bring? Okay, I brought a couple of things. And I don't know if it counts as one or if you can count it as two. Bring everything out. Give it up this early, huh?

Okay. Well, yes. We've got to know what we're playing for tonight. All right. Okay. A purse? I brought some leather. You're going to give away your own purse?

Very fine-looking leather. I brought some leather here. Hold on. What is... I like this. I brought some leather here. Hold on. What is it? I like this. Oh. Whoa. Nice.

So we got a vest situation. What's a vest? It's a Jack Daniels leather vest. You love that. I love this thing. I love this thing. Which you have worn. Yeah, quite a bit.

It's like a game-worn jersey. I have. I've worn it on stage. I've done stand- Which you have worn. Yeah, quite a bit. It's like a game-worn jersey. I have worn it on stage. I've done stand-up comedy in that. And then also, something else I've worn is I brought these. Yeah, people are guessing that it's a chap situation. How do you know which parts are okay to touch? All the nasty parts are cut out. It's just the legs.

Oh, yeah, your legs are nasty. Your legs are pretty nasty. Anyway, so I got some leather, a vest, and some chaps for anybody who wants them. Okay, that's... Might be the most interesting thing somebody's contributed to the prize bag in a while. And are you going to keep that bag that you brought him in?

The bag stays a while. And are you going to keep that bag that you brought him in? The bag stays with me. The bag is kind of nicer than all the leather. It's clever. It says, Papa's got a brand new bag. In the 60s, it was clever. Right? Yeah, but nobody had a new bag in the 60s.

Alright, so can I have that bag? My wife told me to bring it home. My wife! She really said bring back the bag? That's great. I was rushing out the door. I said, can I have a bag for these things?

And she said, she got it. And she said, make sure you bring that home. When you walk in tonight, she says, where's the bag? Say, Doug Benson says, here's your bag, and grab your balls. Yeah. I got your bag right here. Yeah, here's your bag, lady. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking bag lady. Full of leather, too.

Okay, so anyway, well then you just have to pass the leather down, and now it's going to become a prize heap. Oh, here. Here. Because I, well, I'm telling you, I'm going to give it to the winner. I'm not afraid of my wife Wow She's going to hear this podcast

I would not want to be you She's going to give you a Cuban necktie My wife is so terrifyingly tough She's Cuban from Miami Miami Thanks dude Miami. This is how we're going to... Miami! Thanks, dude. Eric, do you have anything for the bag?

Yeah, I do. I brought three things. Three things. That's exciting. I'm going to reveal them in order. Okay. He showed me backstage. I was blown away. How to belly dance for your husband.

Wow. Hey, can Steve bring that back instead of the bag? If he wins it. Here, I got something instead of the bag. What is this? These are all great LPs, by the way. Oh, I like what I'm seeing here. Village people, Macho Man.

He's wearing the leather outfit. You guys shop in the same garage, apparently. We're in the same wavelength. Did you get these next door? No, I got it in Burbank. Oh, okay. It's Steve's garage. Any comedy fans?

Oh, great. Great record. Great record. It doesn't have much comedy on it It's more like Straight forward singing Sure Rubber Biscuit Very

Rubber Biscuit Very comedy Are you not tempted To keep that for yourself I was Everybody Need somebody I'd laugh

All day at that Hilarious There you go I do love that Blues Brothers movie That was a classic movie. That album was fantastic. So many different moods in that movie.

Do you have to take this bag back to your wife? Yeah, you want this back? Or you can go over there. No, yeah, I need that bag too. And I've watched you have to put all those back into that bag twice now. And it's really tricky. That bag is just only slightly bigger

than those records. But you just did it. Nice. Just like that. Go ahead and pass the solution. Pass it over. And

Paul, it feels like you didn't know to bring anything. Wait, you do have something. No, no, no. I think it was lunch, I think. This, I feel

kind of shitty because I didn't know how nice... I would have got something nicer, but... Do you even know what's in that bag? Yeah, I do. My son's Little League had their all-star carnival last weekend, so I had to do a booth. Oh, I hope this is like an athletic cup. No.

It's just the shit that I couldn't give away to little league children so laser finger pointing lasers okay that one doesn't work but this one doesn't seem to work he brought some broken finger lasers there's gotta be a winner in there

hey finger laser there's like 40 of them so I guarantee you Finger lasers. There's got to be a winner in there. Hey! Finger laser. There's like 40 of them, so I guarantee you that five of them work. And a couple of Spongebob keychains. We all smoke and have a great time. I'll take the bag they came into unless the wife needs it. Hey, hey, it does work. It was a red one.

It was user error. The first time was more exciting. I think it's a great package. You're not getting a lot of fanfare, but I think it's a great package. Look at all this stuff somebody's going to get, and we haven't even gotten a J yet. I'm excited because it looks like a food product item.

It's a bag of powdered sugar. It says De Lauser on it, and then I tried to write what the slogan of the sugar company would be. In cursive. Oh, I see. Why don't you

say it? I think I I don't know I might be interpreting it wrong what does it say Delice hate the sugar their slogan could be Delice Delouse

Delish it didn't feel groan worthy but you know, I guess. What do you think about that? Well, I already wrote the lice ate the sugar on it. In a marker. Take it back to the store.

Next time. Next time. Yeah. Now you're after my shit, too? Okay, I'm a bobblehead. There's no wrong. There's no wrong. Oh, we're doing pretty good on time.

Let me real quick go down the line and start with you, Jay. Have you managed to see a movie? Like, what was the last movie you saw in any format? I like this movie. The name of it... It's a good movie.

Who's in it, Grandpa? The two people who are in it. It's a good movie. Who's in it, Grandpa? The two people who are in it. Saw it a week ago. Were you stoned? No. What format did you see it? At the Arclight. Ben Stiller? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

While we're young. Good, good. I really liked it. There's nothing like the opinions of a critic who doesn't remember anything about what he saw. It's not memorable, but I loved it. Take this all with a grain of salt.

I didn't remember anything. It's a funny transition into the last movie I saw because my wife and I wanted to go see While We're Young. I recommend it. Well, that's funny. It's a funny transition into the last movie I saw, because my wife and I wanted to go see While We're Young. I recommend it. But we couldn't rally to get out of the house, so we watched, that's Noah Baumbach, right? Yeah.

So we watched his last movie, Francis Ha. Oh, okay. Which we watched, yeah, two nights ago. Francis Ha is a little lighter, I think. A little artier. I didn't see that one. Black and white. Yeah, black nights ago. Francis Haas, a little lighter, I think. A little artier. I didn't see that one. Black and white. Yeah, black and white.

As far as I know. My favorite Noah Baumbach is Squid and the Whale. I like that. Squid and the Whale is really good. I like that. I remember that one well. I like him in general. Even when I don't like the movie overall, I like what he does.

He's a talented guy. I want to see more. He was a little rude to Steve and I when we were back when we were 22. Oh, really? Did you go to high school

together? Remember that party? I do. We were at a party on Christopher Street and he was his girlfriend you knew and we went up

to talk to him. He was just, you know, a regular guy. He's kind of rude, but good movies. It was a long time ago and it was one time. That might have been the only night in his life

he was ever rude to anybody. Could have been. It's not necessarily indicative of an ongoing personality trait. Every time I see his movie, I whisper to whoever I'm with, that guy was kind of rude to me. He was rude. Yeah. He was rude.

But in retrospect, I think it might have been, you know, the shy rude. Could have been. Which sometimes happens. Yes, shy. Shy, smart, rude. Aloof. Like the Czechs. Czechoslovakian, yeah, for sure.

He was rude to us. He was. He was rude to us. He was rude to us. He was not a filmmaker at that point? It was. He was. Maybe he's in the spectrum

Maybe he's the last burger I'm sure he's a wonderful guy I met him and he was so nice to me I'm sure he's nice now I'm sure he's nice I heard he got nice It was a few years ago He might have got nice, you're right

He changed for the better We were doing We were doing our shows at the Duplex, our sketch comedy shows that we were doing in New York City, and he had not made a film yet, and he was dating a girl that I went to high school with, and dated. And I had a crush on her, admittedly. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and she and I were good friends now.

It was totally fine. Jay and I went down to her house. She was having a party, and she and I were good friends now. It was totally fine. Jay and I went down her house. She was having a party, and we tried to get everyone to come to see the show, which was a block away, and he didn't like that, I don't think.

Oh, hey, everybody at this party where we don't know the guy throwing it, come to this other thing now. Yeah. Yeah, that. I don't know why

he would be bothered by that. What? Oh, Jay. We want your current girlfriend to come, too. Worst. Yeah, and to bring the girl. So that this guy can fuck your girlfriend. Yeah.

Like the old days. Yeah. Yeah. We had it coming, maybe. Maybe we did. You're being rude now, too, Doug. Let's all get out of here and leave Doug's place. We've got another show.

Doug didn't like that. If something walked through that door and did that, yeah. Okay, we're the rude ones. Fuck it. When I see Naomi Watts, I whisper to the person next to me, she juggled for a monkey. Remember in King Kong where she juggles for King Kong to make him not be mad and squash her? I kind of remember that scene.

She also falls down a lot, throws herself down a lot, and it makes King Kong laugh really hard. To make him not be mad and squash her. I kind of remember that scene. She also falls down a lot, throws herself down a lot. It makes King Kong laugh really hard. Then a woman is throwing herself on the ground really hard. It's so funny to him. You could say anything right now. Is that really a scene from the film? It really is. I don't remember anything about any movie.

It might be Naomi Watts films. That movie, it's been a while, probably. I love her, but... Okay. Who hasn't answered the question? Eric, answer the question. I just saw Going Clear. Oh!

And I'm right across from it. I'm afraid someone's in this room. It's all over Hollywood. They own so much real estate in Hollywood because the idea is to rope in famous people. That's been their thing from jump. But I haven't seen the movie yet,

but it's everything everybody's saying. It's fascinating. It's interesting. Mind-opening. I don't want to say anything. I'm too close to the slur. They'll get you. You'll probably hear it through the wall. Like tissue paper. They'll get you. You'll probably hear right through the wall. Like tissue paper.

They'll get you. They will. Can you imagine somebody watching all of Going Clear and then signing up for Scientology willingly?

I thought about it. I parked right by the entrance and I was like, what if I walk in and it's like, hey, just saw Going Clear. I'm in, I'm in.

Sign me up. I liked what I saw. I think I could be part of this. Musical chairs. Musical chairs locked in a prison cell. Where do I sign? What was the squirrels buster thing? That's when they sent the... A squirrel is somebody who

leaves and starts a bad mouth. So they have henchmen that put on those t-shirts and go around and harass people. It's fascinating. It's very weird. It's weird and fascinating. It makes me tense talking about it across the street.

It's so close. You're afraid. A little bit. I'm terrified. I can feel it. Sweating. Yeah, we should probably drop it. Who's next?

Who's next? Steve, Steve. They have people murdered, you know. I know. Yeah. For saying things not as bad as what we've said. We've really stepped over the line. What you three have said.

Steve and I didn't say a word, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd be surprised how you get dragged down with everybody in these situations. Guilt by social media. Yeah, collateral damage. Is that the last movie you saw, Steve? It was excellent. Schwarzenegger movie, right?

Collateral Damage. Or Tom Cruise was just collateral, right? And Clive Bowles was just damages. Wait, dude? But there was a movie called Damage that I forget who was in that. Was that the one with Kate Winslet and... Ask Jay. Christoph Waltz?

Yeah. Based on... Or was that Carnage? Based on the play Carnage of Garbage. I think it was a Jeremy Irons movie called Damage. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

That sounds right. Sounds right. Yeah. I'll go with that. Jeremy Irons. Terrible impression. Spot on. Not bad.

Uncanny. Not bad. I gotta just thank you guys for going to the movies and for making movies like Club Dread and Beer Fest and Slammin' Salmon and now Super Troopers 2. We have to move on to the portion of the show where I say, let the games begin. Some people brought some name tags that they fashioned out of items they found in Steve Lemme's

garage. Go ahead and, gentlemen, if you could just go select which name tag you'd like to play for and bring it back to your seat. And you could choose based on any criteria you have in your individual brain.

So I'm choosing who is my pride? Yeah, yeah, you're playing on behalf of this person, yeah. So make sure it's somebody you like. And while you do that, oh, that's a good one. While you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Once again, this episode is brought to you in part by our friends at Squarespace. Building a website can be tough, and even if you do know your way around coding,

creating something that looks good and works well is a time-consuming affair. If you're going to do something that's time-consuming, why not actually have an affair? Whether it's for a business site, a portfolio, a restaurant, or whatever else, in this day and age, you probably need one anyway. Well, lucky for us, Squarespace makes it easy to build beautiful websites without breaking a sweat. Squarespace provides simple, powerful, and beautiful website templates for you to work with. Not only that, those templates are part of Squarespace's responsive design, which means your website scales to look great on any device,

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Start a trial with no credit card required and start building your website today. When you decide to sign up for Squarespace, make sure to use the offer code Doug to get 10% off your first purchase and to show your support for Doug Loves Movies. We thank Squarespace for their support of Doug Loves Movies. Squarespace, build it beautiful. This episode is also brought to you in part by A24 presenting Ex Machina, a science fiction thriller directed by the writer of Sunshine and 28 Days Later. The Telegraph calls it bewitchingly smart science fiction,

and the Daily Mirror declares it an instant classic. I've seen it, and I've got to tell you, I enjoyed it a lot. Oscar Isaac is amazing in it. It's kind of a different character than you're used to seeing him play. Are we used to seeing him play anything? He's such a versatile actor. Domhnall Gleeson is in it, and Alicia Vikander, i hope i'm pronouncing

that right plays a sexy robot i've said too much ex machina opens in select theaters in new york and la on april 10th and more cities and theaters every week after that back to the show. All right, we're back. Hey, does somebody up close or even far away in Kistos have a pen I could use? I do. I didn't bring a pen. That's how high I got this. Did you guys have to take a nap today or anything? That's why I was running late.

It's because I just went home and just went right to sleep for, what's it been, like a couple days now? And I woke up and was like, I've got to go do a show. And it's raining and I'm in Hollywood, so it was rough. I slipped in and took a nap next to you just after you fell asleep and left just before you woke up. Who are you playing for, Jay? Alan in Wonderland. Yeah, so it's a big, stuffy, fluffy Cheshire cat. And it says Alan instead of Alice.

Not that he'd be wearing a tag that says Alice, but we get the idea, Alan. You see the connection? Alan in Wonderland? Mm-hmm. It looks like there's a shithead on the back. So if there's a shithead on the back of your name tag, be sure not to read it out loud, guys, because that's for the end of the show.

I think you have one on there. Don't worry about it. Okay, I'll leave it alone. Hey, Paul, what do you got there? It looks like a hockey mask. It says Carlos, so I'm playing for Carlos. What did he say? There's some shit on it?

Wait, wait, don't look on the back. Yeah, don't. But there's nothing on the front. It might be on the inside or something. Did you put a shithead on it, Carlos? My post-it note. I didn't realize that. Oh, there was a post-it note on there, but it fell off.

Should I go get it? We'll check in with him later if you lose. Which I won't. No, I have a feeling you're going to be the strongest player. But it's mostly just based on wanting you to not lose so we don't have to find out what his shithead is. Eric? I got a medical marijuana card.

Oh, you did? So now you can smoke it legally. I get to keep this, right? Yeah. It doesn't matter whose it is. You just got to have one. What's your ailment? You just got to have one in your hands.

Does it say? No, they don't put that on there. They don't care. No, but what's the name of the person you're playing for? It looks like they had to tape something on there. My Dinner with Andrew. I guess felt compelled to put something that sounded like a movie title on the medical marijuana license

or recommendation I should say it's huge, I thought a car would be smaller I got a tiny laminated one that I walk around with but this one looks like it might be a few years old that's why he's defacing it is it still valid, Andrew? It is? Sweet.

Need a really big wallet for that thing. My card is huge. Steve, who are you playing for? It says my name is Demi. I'm playing for Demi. Demi. No relation to Drake. I'm going to be honest, though.

In the dark when he was holding it up, I thought he was holding up a huge picture of Chandrasekhar. Turns out it's Drake. It turns out it's Drake. I wish. That's nice that that's the reason you would pick that. Yeah, I was going to try to arrange a swap with Jay or something. This is mine.

Yeah, you're really holding on to that thing. How else are you going to hold a teddy bear? What are you supposed to do? I don't know, but his face is saying, I can't breathe. Yeah, but that's the thing. They never say anything about it. Oh, no. It's not real, is it?

Yeah, that's a real bear. There's a cat inside the cat. I'll be nicer, all right? I'll be nicer. I'm sure apologies to put your hands together is back there going, oh, the Douglas movies

is back, damn it. Because this one might go a little long, but I think it's going to be worth it. To determine who's going to go first in today's game, we're going to play

a quick mini game called Do It Your Life. You guys want to do some fucking lines? To determine who's going to go first in today's game, we're going to play a quick mini game called... You guys want to do some fucking lines? Doing Lines with Mark. Mark Wahlberg is here. It's been a while, Mark. How you doing, dude? It's been a while, right?

Yeah, dude. It's been a fucking long time. It's been a minute since Mark's been here with his energy and his presence. I'm working on a new movie. Of course you are. You put out like two a year. Fuck yeah, dude. That's on a slow year. It's about the Boston bombing.

It's called Boston, the Edge of Darkness. It's gonna be fucking great. I don't think that's what it's called. Yeah, it is, dude. And you know it's gonna be like ten minutes fucking long? Because as soon as we start filming, I'm gonna go kill the fucking dudes. I already know who did it. It's the fucking Snarfs, or whatever the fuck. Snarves,

or whatever the fuck their name is. Right and fucking wrongs. By that theory, though, wouldn't every movie where you're the hero, why aren't they all shorts? Why don't you just get it done in the first few minutes and move on? Because they're always like, we need more Mark.

I'm like, all right, I'll fucking give it to you, then. All right, well, I'm sure they're going to ask for it again in this case. I don't think they want a short starring Mark Wahlberg about the Boston bombing. All right, well, they can fucking follow me around because I'm done 10 minutes in. I'm killing those fucking dudes. Well, you'll just be walking around in Boston bombing. All right, well, they can fucking follow me around because I'm done ten minutes in. I'm killing those fucking dudes.

Well, you'll just be walking around in Boston talking about how great you are. That's called a Tuesday. The whole thing will work, yeah. What's up, Jay? Hey, how you doing? Trying to get in on my stuffed animal game? That's me. That's my thing.

I have a bear that I hold. Oh, yeah, You're right. All right. So Mark is going to say a line. Microphone's up, Jake. You bet. Mark is going to say a line from a motion picture, usually one that Mark thinks is a classic.

Not something that Mark is in, necessarily. Damn it. We went through all those quite early on, so now we're on to... Make it more. This is just... If you have anything to say about this movie, we'll just do it. But he's going to say the line

at any point when you know it, just say the name of the movie into your microphone. First person to guess it wins doing lines. I turned down every role in this movie. Here we go. I said, let's not do a clue, and then you threw one in.

That's every movie done. Okay, here we go. That's not part of it. He has to psych up for this. You want me to punch-a-size your face For free Super Troopers

It is fucking Super Troopers See how that works Who said it first I didn't It was so fast I didn't even see That was tricky That was tough

You saw it You said it first Steve I did Jay's still thinking it over Are you sure Honestly I was embarrassed to call it out There must be a trick If there's a fight scene

I got it fucking memorized Alright Mark I gotta go pick up Donnie He's selling umbrellas at the metro I love that more than anything. More than anything. I could watch it all night long. I know.

Yeah, he's great when he comes by, and I just, you know, I'm so happy that he wants to be a part of the show. I have to pinch myself. Because he's just everything that you'd want him to be in person. Yeah, he's a huge star. Yeah, he really is.

He carries it well. Okay, let's play Last Man Stanton to determine who wins the prize pile. A lot of prizes today. I might take back the schmovie. There's so many prizes. Okay, I just need one person

at least to act sad about that. No, I got it. You don't have to do it a second time. Got it in the first take, didn't we, Jay? We nailed it. What was the last thing you directorated? The sixth season of Community I did. Episode eight.

Now on Hulu. Yeah, man. Yahoo. Community has never been better. Really? I mean, the writing's so fucking good. All right. Yeah, and now that they can do anything they want yeah they

make like 28 shackles are off yeah they're just like whatever yeah it's nice cool um i'm trying to decide how to get into a last man stand because we're going to need a subject who who's all right no i just thought you were yelling something inappropriate. But what did you say? I gave you the pen. Oh, I'll see now. This guy, he knows the way I think. And I'm so grateful to have this pen that I'm going to let him pick who we're going to play in Last Man Stanton.

No free lunch. And here's how it works, you guys. And we'll, Steve won that Super Troopers game, so he gets to go first. And then we'll... I'm going to play two, so we'll go to me second, then Jay, then Paul, then Eric. And we have to name films from this person that he's going to give us until we run out. So if you can't think of one, you're out. Jackie Chan.

Jackie Chan. Jackie Chan. Fucking pen guy. Oh, god damn pen guy. Classic pen guy. Piece of shit pen guy. Robin Wright pen guy. Robin Wright pen guy. Do you guys want to play that or do you want to toss it? Can I name my two if we... You have two?

You have two loaded up? I can think of probably a few. But it gets tricky with... Were any of his vehicles given two different names for different countries? Yeah, yeah. Like Rumble in the Bronx, what was that called originally? Was it always Rumble in the Bronx?

Maybe not. Rumble in the Bronx is, there are multiracial street gangs that ride motorcycles in the Bronx and there are mountains all around the Bronx of Vancouver. Yeah, it's Vancouver, the Bronx. Spoiler alert.

Yeah, I mean, I love some Jackie Chan movies. You know, Drunken Master, of course. Super Cop. Super Cop, yeah. That's a badass movie. All the Rush Hours, whatever. But I don't know. I guess there's a lot when you think about it,

but I don't think any of us are going to be able to come up with more than a couple each. Not anymore. Does the goddamn pen guy have a backup? The pressure's on, man. Because if I don't like this one, I'm throwing the pen back at you. You're taking your pen and going home. Give it to somebody else. Oh, give it to somebody else.

Alright, who else thought about throwing a pen at me but didn't do it? Dude's got a pen out. Do you have a good one? He thinks he has a good one. Sean Penn? No, I had Sean Penn on my name tag

so I had two pens. Penn Guy's buddy had Sean Penn written on his pen? On his name tag, so now he's got two Penns. You should throw the pen at him. Overhand. But no, who do you want us to play with, not Sean Penn? Have you done Drew Barrymore yet? Drew Barrymore?

We may have done her before, but I'll do it again. Yeah, I'm in. Steve, name any movie that Drew Barrymore is in. I'm going to go with E.T. I'm going to start at the beginning. All right, now you know I love full exact titles, so E.T. is not going to fly. E.T. the Extraterrestrial, Douglas.

Okay. I would have also accepted End His Adventures on Earth. Also, there's a great movie, little scene called E.T. the Extra. He's like in the background and you barely see him because he's so short. I'm going to go with

Firestarter. Nice. Because thinking of that scene in the beginning where once her name plays her mother, Heather Locklear is her mother, and she makes her oven mitts catch on fire.

It's so funny that she's staring at her oven mitts that are on fire and screaming, and it's like the oven mitts look like exactly the thing you'd put on if your hands were on fire to put it out. Jay. Poltergeist, his adventures on Earth. All right.

Now, if you're just going to do joke answers, then, you know, you're not showing the right amount of respect for the process. Also, if you're going to give dumb answers, you also... You think Drew Barrymore is in Poltergeist? He doesn't remember anything. Who's the little girl? Well, she's certainly not alive.

Heather something? Heather Rourke? Heather Rourke? Heather Rourke, yeah. The poltergeist curse. The curse of the poltergeist. A few people involved in that movie died. She's lucky she wasn't in that movie, I guess.

Now they're just dying off because they're getting old. Is it a curse or just old age? But Tobey Hooper's still alive, and Steven Spielberg, and Craig T. Nelson, and Jo Beth Williams. Everyone else, dead. And little boy, I think, is alive,

but I don't know his name. Is it Oliver in the movie? Sure. They're rebooting it, right? Exactly. With Drew Barrymore. As a little girl. Oh.

Too bad that's not true. Yeah. It is too bad. That would have been a good loopy hole. Too bad. Well, thanks for playing. Thank you. Sorry, Alan.

Scream. Oh. Okay. Good one. I'll write it down. Thanks. Present. What do you got?

Charlie's Angels. You guys aren't going to believe what I got. Steve? Boys on the Side. That is the first time in the history of everything that a man has said Boys on the side. That is the first time in the history of everything that a man has said boys on the side

and another man has said damn it. Not true. The year was 1970. That fired up about... I will go with irreconcilable Differences. Okay.

What the hell's that? The little girl who divorces her parents. Ryan O'Neal and Shelley Long. Is it Ryan O'Neal? And Shelley Long. And Sharon Stone is the mistress

character. First time we got to see her boobs. Never been kissed. Doug loves boobies. Yeah, the women all like never been kissed. I don't mind it. I'll watch it on TBS. Characters welcome.

Where we at? Please don't say me I think it's you there Damn it What's up? Charlie's Angels 2 The return of Charlie's Angels No, no You gotta colonize it, dude Colonize it Yeah, you gotta get it right Charlie's Angels 2, The return of Charlie's Angels. No, no. You gotta colonize it, dude.

Colonize it. Charlie's Angels 2, full throttle. Yes! You got to colonize it, baby. When in doubt, colonize it. Is that one of those weird ones, though, where it doesn't have a 2 in there? Yeah, but I'm gonna accept it, because that was still a good pull.

And I was afraid to say it, because I wasn't sure. Full throttle. Okay, Steve? Poison Ivy. Alyssa Milano? No, no. Alyssa Milano was like in the sequels.

The original one was Drew Barrymore. No, no. Alyssa Milano was like in the sequels, but the original one was Drew Barrymore. That was sort of her splash back on the scene after rehab and stuff. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back, Drew. Welcome back. Take your fucking clothes off. He's just not that into you.

Oh, nice one. We're in her groan-worthy period. I like that. Well, let me throw in the 50 first dates, as long as we're in there. Yes, of course. Ah. Yeah, 50 first dates.

Come on, Eric. If you say Charlie's Angels 3, so help me God. I was wondering if there was one. Charlie's Angels 3, so help me God. I was wondering if there was one. Charlie's Angels 3? No? I was making up Charlie's Angels 2. Anything?

It's okay to be out with Jay. It's not bad. He seems to be doing alright. I have one, though. The wild side. Maybe at the end. The wild side. There was a movie called that, but I don't think she was in it. be doing all right. I have one, though. The wild side. Maybe at the end. The wild side. No, I mean, there was a movie called that,

but I don't think she was in it. But good try. Thanks for playing. Steve. I'm going to thank Paul for helping me out. I'm going to say

The Wedding Singer. Yeah, that was very helpful. What did I say? It helped me to think of Blended. Oh.

So now we've done all of the Adam Sandler movies. Fever Pitch. Yes. The Jimmy Fallon movie. Okay. I think that's where he met his wife. I think his wife is a producer on it. They were a producing partner with Drew Barrymore.

And that was also, wasn't it amazing here that they just happened to capture where the Red Sox actually did quite well? They won the World Series? They were actually going to shoot it with a different ending, and Red Sox won and wound up being true to what the actual book is. Okay. Quit stalling. I don't know if that's what you're doing,

but do you have another one? I do. What do you got? Grey Gardens. Oh. With Jessica Lennon. Yes. What?

Yeah, I mean, I don't think it was, I think it's a movie. I mean, it was on HBO. I think it's a movie. I mean, it was on HBO. I think it's a movie made for HBO. Oh, does that not count? It does. If it had broken up into more than one part, I'd call it a miniseries like that Alice Kitteridge or whatever.

So I wouldn't count that if we were playing Bill Murray. Okay. Olive Kitteridge, goddammit. Leave the corrections department alone, you guys. So what'd you say, Greg Ardens? Okay, I'm going to go with... I'm going to say... Ever After. Sure, sure.

Full title, really? Is that really for true? Ever After Into Darkness? Edge of Darkness. Ever After Edge of Darkness. That's interesting. We'll see what happens. Oh, it's not very hard.

That's a clue. That helps. Yeah. I think I know. I think I know. I think I know I think I know I think I know A fairy tale? Closest Happily Ever After?

No A Cinderella story? Oh yeah Is it? I think so Alright Well then I'm out I'm out for not knowing that piece of information.

Down to you and me. We call him the subtitle kid in Brooklyn Lizard. Brought down by my own rule. But I bet you Leonard doesn't have it in there. I'm going to check it in a second. He loves Collins. I'm going to check it in a second. He loves Collins.

I'm the Colin kid. He's the Colin kid. All right. So do you have another one, Paul? All right. and kid. Alright, so do you have another one, Paul? Alright, it was the western that's

like Madeline Stowe was another one. And you might just be helping Steve. Fuck. Wild Girls. No. Steve, you got the actual title for this deal or a different title. Either way, you're going to win for this deal or a different title?

Either way, you're going to win. The Quick and the Dead. No. Motherfucker. I was so... Wow, you managed to make it so we don't have a winner. No, it would still be you because you still got the last correct answer. Oh. Yeah, you were still in it long enough, but

it was called Bad Girls. Bad Girls. Nothing but bad, bad girls. Yeah, so Crick of the Dead was Sharon Stone. Yeah. The aforementioned. That's what I thought it was. What about

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues? Was she in that? What about what other ones did we miss? Whip It. Of course. Was she in Whip It? She was in it and directed it, yeah. Home Fries.

Riding in Cars with Boys. Home Fries, we heard. Home Fries. Babes in Toyland. Babes in Toyland. How many then? I don't think so. Donnie Darko for sure. Donnie Darko?

Yeah. Batman and Robin. Alright, well congratulations to Drake. Steve was playing for. Come gather your prizes. Good luck with that. If the dude with the hockey mask

could come down here and write down a shithead for me to say here at the end of the show, that'd be great. Do I really get to keep this? I don't think you get to keep that, no. He said it was still his valid license, but is there a shithead on the back of it? No? Okay, could you come down and write one down too? Guy with the medical thing?

Here, just write it on there. Oh, what is this dental floss doing here? Oh, that's how she kept the sign on. Or is it hair? Is it human hair? this dental floss doing here? That's mine. That's how she kept the sign on. Yeah. Or is it hair? Is it human hair? I think it's a human hair. Aww.

Aww. Look at that. He's pussy whipped by Steve's wife. He left the bag. I was just thinking about how I was going to explain to her. Was it better to text in advance with an LOL at the end of it? That's why you lost. I think you'll find this funny.

All right. You really wrote out a whole thing there. Thank you guys for being here. Apologies to put your hands together. Oh, are you making a Vine or an Instagram? What is that? You know, Instagram, tweet. Okay.

I could Vine if you want me to. Well, it's probably too long for a Vine at this point. Do we get to go again? Like, I'm fucking, my juices are flowing now. I'm ready to keep going. Oh, are you ready to play the game some more? Yeah, like a lightning round or something? No. You sounded to be wrapping it up.

Yeah, we're done. That's it. Damn it. Yeah. Yeah. If anyone wants to play out it up. Yeah, we're done. Yeah. If anyone wants to play out in the parking lot, I'm just getting into it now. We'll stand around in a circle and play a game.

For sure. Thanks, you guys. Thank you, Broken Lizard was here let's do it again sometime get Kevin in here too I like to get all of you on Getting Doug with Hype

that's something you gotta work out with yourself he would have crushed Drew Barrymore I'm sure oh yeah we just have to we have to dig him up

and bring him I'm kind of I'm embarrassed by the number of ones I knew. Well, not embarrassed. I guess I know a lot of movies. Was she in Pet Sematary? I've seen all those movies. Was she in Pet Sematary?

I don't think so. No. No. Okay. I'm looking up this Ever After bullshit. You're thinking of Denise Crosby in Pet Sematary, right? See, I told you guys. We could go all night with Denise Crosby in Pet Cemetery, right? See, I told you guys. We could go all night with Denise Crosby.

Yeah, Leonard just calls it Ever After. So you're still in? Keep it going. Let me think of another one. Home fries. Riding in cars with boys. Thanks a lot, you guys.

As always Annie Chen is a shithead My ex-girlfriend And Marco Roman Marco Roman is a sports thing Just some guy Why do people laugh?

Because you couldn't tell it was Roman. You thought it was Bowman. Yeah, there's a hole at the bottom, so it's an R. Well, it's really curving back there, though, like a fastly drawn B. I see where you went wrong. An R is just a B with a hole at the bottom. I've never thought about that before. And also, what does this one say?

Kevin, for not being here. Is a shithead. Oh, our Kevin. Yeah, yeah. Once again, this episode was brought to you in part by A24, presenting Ex Machina, a science fiction thriller directed by the writer of Sunshine and 28 Days Later. I've seen this movie, and I recommend it.

You may have even seen on Twitter, hashtag Doug Dixit. It stars Oscar Isaac, Domhnall Gleeson, and Alicia Vikander. I think that's how you pronounce her name. The Telegraph calls it bewitchingly smart science fiction, and the Daily Mirror declares it an instant classic. It's in theaters in New York and L.A. on April 10th

and more cities and theaters every week after that. Check out Ex Machina. Seriously. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of Gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you

cause Doug loves movies!