Doug Loves Movies - Jesse Joyce, Dale Cheesman and "Mark Wahlberg" guest

Episode Date: December 5, 2016

Live from the LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio, Doug welcomes Jesse Joyce, Dale Cheesman and "Mark Wahlberg" to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Matt Damon returns to his iconic role in Jason Bourne, now available on 4K Ultra HD and Blu-ray. Experience Jason Bourne in DTS-X technology for the most immersive, lifelike audio experience available at home. Join Matt Damon for the next chapter in Universal Pictures' Bourne franchise, which finds the CIA's lethal former operative drawn out of the shadows. Get it on 4K Ultra HD and Blu-ray with DTS-X sound today. Rated PG-13. Enjoy the show. Enjoy the show. Hey everybody My name is Doug and I love movies This is I Love Movies!

Coming to you for the first time from San Antonio, Texas! To prove it, I've got queso and cheese all over my stomach and dick area. Welcome to the front row. It's Saturday, December 3rd, 2016. We're at the LOL Comedy Club, and so far you guys seem to get how that works. I've heard some laughter out loud. And you also seem to have some name tags. Let me take a peek. Oh, man. This is a good one. I should periscope during the selection process today so that people,

especially in Los Angeles, can get their shit together. The Carlos boys. Because your name is Carlos. Boys? Your last name is Carlos. Boys? Your last name is Boys? That'd be awesome. Carlos boys.

Tenacious D in the pick of Destiny. Very good. That's a big one. People aren't going to be able to see the show if you don't put that down. Now what's this rogue one i instagram this one today or something today i think a rogue one and it says starlina wars and what's your name your name is starlina awesome that sounds like the name of a character in Rogue One. But I don't think Jeff Tate's in Rogue One.

Graham Elwood is, for sure. And there's a lightsaber. It's too bad Jacob Searoff's not here today, because he always picks something Star Wars. What does this one say? Mark? Mark Bigelow, Mel Gigolo. Mark Bigelow, Mel Gigolo.

You changed Deuce to Mark. You know, that guy should, it's nice when he has a more respectable name now. Mark Bigelow. Ghost Justers? What does that mean? Your name's Justin? Justin makes you feel good? Justin?

Talk about chaff. Shut your mouth. The Britennant. What was that? The Bretnant instead of the Revenant. And that's your face though instead of Leo, right? Yeah. It's like what movie The Reddent? That's pretty good. And 27 Jesses instead of Jesses? Jesses. Jesses. Glory Days. Oh, my God. There's so many good ones.

Thank you guys for bringing all those wonderful signs. There's some light-up ones in the back. It's funny. When it's dark, the lights on the sign, all I can see is just lights all around the edges. I can't see what's in the middle. It's interesting. but I like that people do that. And I knew that you guys would be good. I did a stand-up show

here in January and I said, if I come, I'll do a Doug Loves Movies here and everybody went apeshit and about 70 of those people didn't bother to show up today. Only the best people showed up today. Doug Plugs, Doug Loves Movies, 12 Guests at Christmas, East Coast Edition,

should be available in the Comedy Album section of iTunes any day now for a mere two bucks. It's a perfect stocking stuffer, and it's also available, I think, now already at douglasmovies.com Doug Las Movies is making its triumphant return to Fort Lauderdale on Saturday, December 17th at 420.

And, oh yeah, maybe back in Texas on Monday, December 12th at Cap City Comedy Club in Austin so some of you will go to that one too I bet totally different guests like I would promise but I can't promise but totally different guests

let's see what else is on here that I got to talk about I think that's yeah that's good. For more deets on all of my upcoming dates. What are you laughing about? I'm just going to say,

be sure to go to find them at douglosmovies.com. Woo! I'm sorry. That's douglosmovies.com I don't know how long I'm going to be able to keep doing that. I brought a prize bag. Got some exclusive shit in here. First of all, the bag itself. What does that say on it?

I don't even know what that's about. Splendid. Is that a thing? Yeah, I don't know what Splendid is. But I got my hands on this bag. I also got my hands on my flight here. I got a cookie that I didn't know what Splendid is, but I got my hands on this bag. I also got my hands on my flight here. I got a cookie that I didn't eat. It almost didn't break. And my good friend that you know from when I do shows in New York and Philadelphia,

and he was also recently on in Portland, gave me an extra copy of the Die Hard Authorized Coloring and Activity Book by Doogie Horner. Available wherever you get your Authorized Coloring and Activity Books. A pipe from Peacemaker.

And remember recently I gave away my Deadpool glasses because they broke? I forgot to give away the case that they came in. And it's really nice. It's a really nice case. It's one of those ones that makes a fun noise when you just snap it shut. Probably doesn't sound like that when you're not holding it up to a microphone. And finally, this is, I had a bunch of these

t-shirts and I got down to just one left that I wore a couple of times and but I just want to give it away because I'm so proud of this one small aspect of this last election that we had in this country and that's how many more states legalized marijuana. So this is the Doug Benson pot the vote tour T-shirt. From six, seven, eight years ago, I think it was, I went on a tour to places just to remind people to vote for pot. And, you know, everybody should, and every chance they get. All of that, plus

stuff brought by my three fabulous guests. Let's get them out here now. Gentlemen, start walking. It's a long trip up to the stage in the big, beautiful LOL Comedy Club. Check this shit out, too. There's a wall back there. Please give a big, beautiful LOL Comedy Club. Check this shit out, too. There's a wall back there. Please give a big, warm welcome

to Jesse Joyce, Dale Cheeseman, and Mark Wahlberg! What's up, dude? All right, let's meet them individually. Starting with the man directly to my left. He's headlining all weekend here at the LOL Comedy Club, so we're lucky that he's in town to participate. This is Jesse Joyce, everybody. What's up, gang? Hey, how are you?

I haven't seen a single one of these people at my show so far this weekend what's that these people they're coming to one of your shows tonight great that's awesome that's what I just heard from them it's your job over the next 90 minutes to win them over and sell some more tickets

you don't want to be the guy they saw plenty of at the end of this But it's a fun club though right It's a great club man I think it's really tasteful By the way that they decided to Leave up their tribute to Siegfried and Roy

I like the beaded Chain wall It's like a muted grey I just wish you could enter from behind that. I know, wouldn't it be fun? Right? Like a hypnotist? Just to fucking wall there, I found out the hard way.

Yeah. Took a run at it one night. All right, so thank you for being here. And I forgot what else I was going to ask you. Oh, this is your second appearance on the show. It is. How did you do in second appearance on the show. It is. How did you do in the games part the last time you were on? The worst, because there's a bullshit thing that you do, right?

There's some nonsense where you have to buzz in. You can't just shout out the answer, which... Oh, well, that's just in one of the games. Right. You could have excelled at the other games, just because you're bad at being shouty is not necessarily being bad at all of them. No, but I assume like my brain works quickly and i just assume that there's also the other games there's some dumb stop gap well you still got like uh when you're on at midnight

which you do quite well on i think you're the reigning uh top poobah champion on there or something well well i mean you but i've done oh yeah no i lost to paul f tompkins but that's because he cheated. That's why I keep saying you won it. Right, because I did. Everybody who watched it knows I won, but he fucking cheated. It's fine. I knew there was something going on there.

You're the best at At Midnight. You have to buzz in on that. You have to take that moment to buzz in and then give them your answer. Right, but we don't have to say it. Provide us with buzzers. Well, I don't have buzzers Because now I gotta go like Buzz Mel Gibson Do you understand how dumb that is to say that?

I get it, but that's an extra skill That you have to have to win at that game Well, I'm just explaining why Plus, we all like to laugh at people When they yell out the name of a movie Before saying their own name It's like Simon Says It's funny when people are shitty at it.

That's the dumbest. I gotta say my own name. I can't just yell Buzz. Fuck. I'm fine with you yelling Buzz but we're not even playing that game today. Oh yeah. Yeah we are. It's the first game. Okay so Son of a So you can say Buzz. We'll all come up with different

things to say. I have a safe word on the show. When everybody's talking and I want to get something in, I go, Donnie. And that's the signal for everybody to be quiet. Okay. And we'll talk a little bit more about Donnie in a second, I'm sure. But first, let's say hello to Dale Cheeseman, everybody. The Cheeseman is back.

Thank you for having me. Oh, no microphone for the Cheeseman? Give. Thank you for having me. Oh, no microphone for the Cheeseman? Give it a... Oh, no. We got a microphone situation. People are running in to fix it, though. Thank you. Honestly, almost dodged a bullet there.

Yeah, I got to participate. Just borrow one for a second, but maybe... Is there something that can be done about it, maybe? Yeah, thank you so much for having me. Good to be here. Nobody here knows who I am. Is it on? Great question. I'm going to murder you. I now have double the mic power.

Here, pass it over here. I'll fix it. Do not encourage me to do what I was probably going to do. Did you give him the working one? I told you I could fix it. Yeah, you gave him the one that works. No, no, no. Yeah, they're both working. All right, great. Give it up for the tech.

We did it. Next, we're going to put a man on Mars. How are you doing, Dale? I'm doing good. It's good to be here. Thank you for being here. You drove in from Houston, where you are a comedy phenom. Yeah, you throw that word around each time, but...

I love it. I love it. You're my Houston comedy phenom, Dale Cheeseman. Go ahead, make a plaque that says that. And you did pretty good in the games in your first time there in Houston, didn't you? Yeah, I had a fun time. We did the one where you have the category, you name

a one word title and a two word. I went up to eight on serial killer movies. Yeah, that seemed like it was... Recently we got kind of stopped up pretty fast on holiday movies, but serial killer movies, we went nuts. We went very far with that. I went nuts.

My girlfriend's super into murder. And that just rubs off. Yeah, she just drags you along to all those girly murder movies. All those murder rom-coms. Speaking of murder, my third and final guest today O.J. Simpson

murders it every time he appears in a motion picture. It's Mark Wahlberg! How you guys doing? You doing good? Fucking A-right you are. What's up, San Antonio? How you doing, Doc?

I'm doing all right. Why are you in SA, SA? Making another fucking biopic. You are? Yeah. About who? It's called Don't Talk to Me, the Greg Popovich story.

I play pop, baby. I play pop. I'm popping that shit, dude. Crush it. So how long are you going to be in town for that? At least another, I don't know, what's it take to make a great fucking movie?

Two and a half days? At least two and a half days. That's weird that you don't know how long it takes to make a movie. You've made so many of them. They all fluctuate. Yeah, they mostly take three or four months usually. Yeah, but how long is a basketball game? Like three hours? So if we get it in that amount of time, we could be out of here in a day.

Oh, so it'll be like a movie that takes place in real time? Yeah. Over the course of a game? Yeah, that's what they told me. I'm like, let's fucking do it. Maybe they just invited you to come to a game. I mean, I don't think so, but either way, let's just film that. People will go see that in theaters. Yeah, they saw Deepwater Horizon.

Fucking A, dude. Why wouldn't they watch you watch a basketball game? Hell yeah That's a great fucking point I don't know why you go to all the trouble With all these special effects and whatnot You should just film everything you do And make each event into a movie

Yeah, I'm just going to periscope that shit Keep all the money I don't think there's any money I'm just going to periscope that shit and keep all the money. I don't think there's any money that would come in from periscoping it. Then what are people doing it for? I don't know, man. That's weird. Well, either way, I'm either going to a Spurs game or I'm going to be Greg Popovich

in a movie, but it's a success for America. Alright, Jesse, I saw your gift for the prize bag. It's so valuable, it fell out of your lap on the floor, and then you left it there. It's a paper coonskin cap that I got today at the Battle for Texas, the Experience San Antonio. Yeah, it's basically a Burger King crown for people who hate the king.

But it's not... This is probably as big as it gets. Yeah, yeah. It doesn't come close to getting onto my... No. It just sort of sits on top. Yeah, and if you don't put the paper coonskin part, you look suspiciously Middle Eastern,

which I don't think goes well when you're wandering around the Alamo. How does this look? Oh, shit. By the way. Oh, shit. It's so valuable. I don't know if you've been to the Alamo so far.

It's pretty neat. I went to the Alamo a long time ago. I played the River Center. Back when I was a feature act, I played that club. And the when I was a feature act, I played that club. And the headliner was Pat Hazel. And I played there, and I did all the downtown stuff. I even saw a Burt Bacharach concert that weekend.

I actually saw... With the local Philharmonic or something. One of the times I was in town, I saw Cosby. It was the only time I saw Cosby. And it was there. And at the time, was in town, I saw Cosby. It was the only time I saw Cosby. And it was there. And at the time, it seemed like a good idea,

by the way. Was he sitting down the whole time? Yeah, yeah. Why do you think you have to at least get up to put something in somebody's drink? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he had just had his, like, 19th glaucoma surgery,

so he had, like, an eye patch making him look more sinister in hindsight. Would he say a lot of pirate stories? He had a parrot. Arrgh, I like that sleepy booty. So, thank you for bringing that. I'm sure anyone who lives here

finds that to be an amazing gift. They can't possibly get one for free. But I thought it was a neat experience having gotten to go to the Alamo, and it does strike me that Donald Trump doesn't remember the Alamo because you learn, second one, that walls do not keep Mexicans out. That's what I learned

right off the bat. Immediately. Doesn't work. It's just an obstacle. It's not a... It slowed him down. It's not the end of the world. It slowed the Mexicans down.

All right, Dale, what do you got for us for the bag? I got a bunch of great stuff that was in my car. I got some Christmas poinsettias.

Or, if you're not Christian, just a give-it-a-shot poinsettias. You can just check it out. Good for your home. I also got two bravado spices. I don't know if you like hot sauces, but these are a really cool Houston hot sauce company. Ghost pepper blueberry. We all know what that goes on, so make your favorite

blueberry ghost pepper dish and just top that off. Pineapple, or jalapeno green apple. Like, say you're watching a movie and you got your toasted bread with pineapple and cheese slices.

Just give it a little topping. It'll blow your mind. For the Lesser at Home, Doug just redesigned the whole stage. And it's perfect. Too much stuff. You said you had a... This is shit you had in your cart? You had a poinsettia in your cart?

Yeah. Why was it in your cart? I do a lot of charity work work and they pay you in flowers. And then I re-gift those flowers so I can tell people I do a lot of charity work. Hey. Between that and the ghost pepper shit, that would kill any dog who sits in your car

immediately. I also secretly hate dogs What the fuck did you just say? Dog owners Sit this one out today Or just Give away that stuff Before you leave today

What did you bring for us Mark? Two things Blu-ray Two guns two things. Yes, dude. Blu-ray, two guns. Me and that fucking dude who's on fire just tearing it up. You're going to love this for two reasons.

One, because it's a perfect fucking movie. Two, because every time you watch it you think to yourself, Donnie's probably looking for his copy of

Two Guns right now. And you haven't. There's that. And then, since it's the holiday season and at least compared to me, you people are all poor, I brought a non-perishable food item.

And it's New England clam motherfucking chowder. You're welcome. Just trying to get back, Doug. Some of these motherfuckers don't even have 401ks. All right. It looks good, don't it? Yeah.

Probably kill a dog as well. The great thing about that is even if you don't open it, you can throw that at somebody. Oh, this bag, like now, with all these bottles in it and stuff, it's really heavy and, yeah, it's perfect for swinging at somebody. Sounds to me like it's perfect for working out. Somebody comes at you. Yeah, yeah, switch arms every few minutes.

Yeah, that's a good idea. It's a helpful tip. I know, Jesse, you're busy, you know, losing to cheaters at midnight and doing your stand-up, but do you, have you seen any movies lately?

Like, what was the last movie you saw? Oh, the last one I saw that I really dug was On Demand. It was Anthropoid. Have you seen that? With Cillian Murphy. I've heard of it, but I have not seen it. The Handsome Irishman, whatever the fuck his name is. Yeah, yeah.

Jamie Cilliam, whatever, that guy. Oh, oh. It's about, the dude who was in Fifty Shades, that guy, he was in, right? Okay, sure. Anyway, it's about the Czech resistance during World War II, and it's really badass. Oh, it's people like, they don't want to pay for their bills, so they. No, no, no, like the Czechoslovakian resistance. Oh.

Like Donald, half of Donald Trump Jr.'s nationality. Why do people owe that? That's a fact. I don't know. Because they were just learning it. Yeah. Oh, right. His mom is Czech,

and his dad's Donald Trump, which means he's half Czech and half bounce Czech. Boom! Come on! Yes! See what I did? You did it.

Fuck him. Fuck him. Anyway, he's a greaseball. The point is... Dear LOL Comedy Club, I gotta write a letter real quick. Dear LOL Comedy Club, may I have another Cheetos and soda? Sincerely, Doug Benson.

P.S. No rush. Can I do that too? Can I get an orange juice with some of Grandma's medicine in it? A.K.A. Buck, motherfucker. Thank you. What was the last movie

you saw, Dale? I saw Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Yeah. You know, Dan Fogler is quite good in that and he's been on

Doug Lo's movies. Great story. I'm sorry. Did you like it? Yeah, it was great. I saw it was Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find It, and it was that Oliver Platt documentary on Netflix.

That joke just bombed so hard. Go back to the original. I saw the real Fantastic Beasts. I don't think it bombed, because for a joke to bomb, people have to think a joke just happened that no one liked. You could have just kept talking. Can I try again? You could have just kept talking. I'm going to try again.

You could have just kept going and be like, what was that Oliver Platt thing? I don't know. Let's not worry about it. Let's not call it a bomb. Just get deep into the description of a documentary.

Made up on the spot. No, so we saw Fantastic Beasts. That's not the last. After that, we saw Harry Potter 1 through 8 again. Oh, you marathoned that shit? Oh, yeah. Did you wear diapers or how'd you do it?

We did it over a week and a half. Oh, okay. Always, whenever you have a spare moment, more Harry Potter? One or maybe two a night if we're pushing it. I just think it's odd that Fantastic Beasts has adults in it. All adults. There's a few Find Them, Fantastic Beasts, has adults in it. All adults. There's a few kid characters,

but they're not central to the story. It feels like more of a kids movie than the Harry Potter movie with that bunch of little fucking kids running around. Is that weird? Maybe they'll learn lessons about what it's like to be an adult and then they'll have some closing thing where they get reverted back

to kids and just Benjamin Button the Harry Potter series. That's not what they're going to do. That's a dumb theory. I would like to Benjamin Button the Harry Potter movies, but I'd like to die around part two. I'd like to speed up the process. Just get it over with.

I don't need to. I did see some of the first two Harry Potters recently in a TV marathon, and bits and pieces of it, in between jerking off. Not to Harry Potter. I got porn on my computer. I don't know what point I was trying to make,

but yeah, I don't like those first two Harry Potter movies. Yeah, they're kind of campy. It gets dark at the end. It's just a little nice kids movie, and then everyone just starts dying left and right. You're like, oh, shit. Also, the Fantastic Beasts are in his suitcase the whole time. Yeah, it's all entirely his fault.

Yeah, there's never a search. Nobody's ever like, where do we find fault. Yeah, there's never a search. Oh, so you're implying you know where to find them? Nobody's ever like, where do we find them? No, I got them right here. They're right here in this bag.

Mark, did you see Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them? I did. I did not like that movie. I thought that movie was horrible. Why?

Why didn't you like it? I just, I love Dan Fogler. I wanted to see more of that guy. Instead, I get like, I get, what, that dude from In Bruges? Who the fuck's his name?

Colin Farrell. Okay. And so, he's supposed to be the bad guy, I think, or something. But instead, I'm like, this dude's a fucking badass. He's handling shit.

I like that guy. And there wasn't enough of him. I just, I didn't care about anybody. And obviously, if you go see him in movies, it's all about how much you care about me.

So one, if I'm not in it, who do I care about? Two, why do I like these people? This guy just seems dumb. I'll tell you, I'll put it like this. I've never gotten such a lengthy review from you over a movie. I know, I couldn't.

Here's the other answer. Did I like that movie? Donnie loved it. There you go. What was the last movie you saw? Was it that one? No, actually I saw... We talked about this recently.

We did? Girl on a Train. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Why didn't they just call that movie Commuter That Won't Mind Her Own Fucking Business? Or Last Train to Snoozeville. Oh my god, seriously.

Literally, I think I woke up twice and I didn't even know I fell asleep once. It, uh... I thought it'd be more, you know, I guess there's no reason for it to be like Gone Girl just because it's got the word girl in the title and, you know, came out around the same time of year and just had the same kind of buzz.

But yeah, I thought Gone Girl was a much more entertaining experience. And it doesn't say Emily Blunt on a train. It just says girl. 20 minutes into that boring ass shit, I'm like, can we pick a different girl on this train? There's a lot of girls.

They might be having a much more interesting day. I can't wait for the porn world to get a hold of it and make girl pulling a train. So the girls in the porn won't be as drunk. Holy shit, man. That was a fucking dark. My wife and I are both... My wife! We were both sober for many years,

and we shut it off at one point because we were like, it just bummed us the fuck out, you know? It's too dark if you're an alcoholic. And slow. It's just slow. It's just like, somebody stop this train. I want to get off. Oh, wait, I could just jump

because it's so slow. Billy Crystal could get on and throw his mama off it. That was terrible. There's a new beverage sitting there. I didn't even see them bring it to me. They have, it's the holidays, elves work here.

Just because that guy has a British accent doesn't make him an elf. It's really, that's super rude. By the way, it sounded like this podcast was brought to us by the BBC this time. All British people are elves or gnomes. Every single one of them. I've seen all of Martin Freeman's work.

Backs it up. All right. I saw two movies today. Because it was raining and there's a channel on my hotel room that when you land on, it says in the corner HBO,

but you know, sometimes they'll pull a fast one on you and it won't be HBO, it'll be something else. And this was HDNet Movies, which is a channel I've never experienced, I don't think, before. But I watched a couple of movies, completely uncut.

Every once in a while, they have their little bug in the corner, which is annoying, but with the name of the channel. But for the most part, it was pretty cool. And looking at movies they're going to show, this isn't an advertisement,

but they're just showing an odd assortment of movies. So today, and I'm also stalling because I can't think of what the second movie was. Oh, I got it, I got it. The first one I watched this morning was Dunstan Checks In. Oh, shit. Does it hold up? It does.

It does hold up if you like, you know like an orangutan doing a lot of really hilarious things in the part of his life before he gets super strong and angry and starts tearing people's faces off. And so I enjoyed that. And then a movie that I think is a gem that

launched a career of a young director named Jason Reitman and it's called thank you for smoking like a lot of great actors and Eckhart right moves really fast Aaron Eckhart's the star of it yes and I enjoyed it very much like it was on I was like oh I like this movie when I saw it when it came out. I'm going to check it out again. Is it going to hold up?

Not that it's been that long, but I really enjoyed it. I watched the whole goddamn thing. I'm not going to lie to you. During Dunstan Checks In, I watched some Harry Potter and jerked off. Is it safe to say Dunstan's dead now? He's probably dead. Oh, he's so dead.

I don't know what the life expectancy is. They should have just put dedicated to Dunstan at the end. Don't do that, dude. That hurts my heart. Don't do that. Because how long do they generally live? Do you know? 20 years? I don't know. I don't know about movie apes. He's certainly...

If it's the same as in the wild. He's retired. But one of my favorite touches in the movie, because it's pretty clever little kids, you know, for a kids movie. He's certainly retired. He's retired. But one of my favorite touches in it, in the movie, because it's pretty clever little kids, you know, for a kids movie it's watchable. And one of my favorite things in it is when Dunstan is watching Planet of the Apes on TV.

And it's the scene where Charlton Heston is saying goodbye to Zira and he says to her, or whatever her name was in that one, he says to her, I want to kiss you on the mouth or whatever and she could they kiss on the mouth and she goes oh you're but you're so disgusting humans are so gross and she's grossed out by kissing him on the mouth but she does that line and then they cut to dunstan clapping one of the four moves apes can make in movies

one of the four moves apes can make in movies. He had a lot of fucking moves. Put the hand over the eyes. Because once Dustin checks in, he starts stealing stuff from all the other people in the hotel. So there's lots of scenes of him climbing just the sides of buildings. And it's much more hardcore than even Jason Bourne because there's nothing to grab.

I don't know how fucking monkeys do it. They've got Spider-Man hands. So anyway, I enjoyed seeing those movies in my hotel room on a rainy day in Houston. But more importantly, Burt Kreischer has to turn this show off right now because I'm going to say

let the games begin! Bring on the games! People made some name tags you guys another guy just brought a Star Wars lightsaber that he bought in a store and you have to go out there into the void and select the person you want to play for

and bring their name tag back to your seat now nowish while you guys do that we're going to do a brief commercial message. We'll be right back. Today's episode is brought to you in part by Squarespace. Oh, Squarespace.

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Just go to CISO, S-E-E-S-O dot com right now to sign up for two months free with a promo code DLM at checkout. That's CISO dot com, promo code DLM. Back to the show. We're back. Great job, everybody. I think my guests did a good job of selecting. You want to save that for the end?

The shit heads on back. But just tell us who you're playing for, Jesse Joyce. Jessica Black, is that you? Yeah? Okay, cool. Jessica Black. She did 27 Jesses, which I was cute. No, Jesses, right? Well, your name is Jesse. I had it spelled that way.

But then she also put Jesse Ventura. But she corrected me earlier that she's Jess. Okay. Right? Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm going to call you. Because the other people, there's Jesse Case, Jesse Ventura. But look, it's even Adomian. Adomian as Jesse Ventura.

But then that's it. Then it drops off. Then there's no more. You couldn't think of 24 other Jesses? Because there's only three listed here. You know, Jess is a tough name to come up with alternates.

Well, there's two Uncle Jessys. Like, there's Full House Uncle Jesse and Duke's a Hazard Uncle Jesse right there. That's another cover. Yeah.

I also like how, let's see if I can get a shot of that. You look close enough to her high goal. You're pretty as well. So it's just kind of... You know, you glance at it, it just looks like the poster.

Yeah, look at that. Good job. Dale Cheeseman, you got a crazy, crazy thing there. I'm going to come over to you. Yeah, this is Bio Dominique. Biodome diorama. Is this your job? Like, do you have a

failed store that has, like, two weeks to make rent and you just need to sell this one? This is awesome. Well, there's your drink, Mr. Wahlberg. It's here for the staff here at LOL Comedy. Working hard. By the way, this is the kind of thing

that would totally get you stopped at the airport. Some sort of sphere with wires. Can't really fly in with it, yeah. Alright, and I saw this one on the internet because it's a great diehard poster, but my face is too happy about that building

exploding. Yeah, dude, you're way into it. Super into it, yeah. But, dude, you're way into it. Super into it, yeah. But that's, what's the name of the person? Brian? I hope so. Brian?

Yeah. Bri-hard? All right. Good one, Mark. You don't have anything to say about it? No. No. I just liked it.

The guy put, you know, there was another diehard out there, and I'll be honest, I didn't No. I just liked it. The guy put, you know, there was another diehard out there and I'll be honest, I didn't see his name worked into it. If it was,

that's your fault, not mine, for not seeing it. But you always try to pick a diehard poster? Is that your favorite movie that you're not in? Oh, shit.

I turned down the role of the limo driver in that movie. All right, goodbye, Periscope. Thanks for coming by, everybody that watched that. Let's see how many it was. 945 people. Oh, Jesus.

I know, right? All right. And then I delete it right away, because that's not worth looking at later. No reason for that to live in the world. All right. We're going to play some games starting, I believe, with the one

that is your nemesis, Jesse. All right. It's Jason and Deb's IMDb game. Would you like to buzz in with the word buzz? Yeah. Okay, so you're buzzing in with buzz. Dale, what are you going to buzz in with the word buzz? Yeah. Okay, so you're buzzing in with buzz. Dale, what are you going to buzz in with? Jesse.

Jesse. Fuck you. Fuck you. I'm going with cheeseman. And Mark, what's your buzz in word? Cardio. Cardio. Cardio.

All right. I'll name the top four and somebody's most known for on IMDb, and of course, IMDb. And you get one point if you get it right, and a negative point if you miss.

Bonus points for additional movies. Here we go. Who's best known for begins with not a movie but WWE Raw Dwayne The Rock Johnson or Jesse

yes Jesse Dwayne The Rock Johnson that is correct, Dale. Why are we wasting our time talking about this guy? I never figured it out from watching it. Did you play Payne or Gane? Which one were you? I'm Payne and Gane.

Oh, okay. Payne and Gang, co-starring Dwayne Johnson. No, there's no co-starring. Was he still the... What'd you call him on the set? You call him Rock? No, I go, you. Actually, a lot of times I call him Hulk Hogan just to piss him off. I go, Hulkster,

let's go do this shit. Who do you like better, Vin Diesel or The Rock? Oh, The Rock. Oh, you like him more than Vin Diesel? Yeah. Okay. Vin Diesel steals all those cars.

I'm like, fuck you, dude. Yeah, why does he have to go around stealing cars? Exactly. He's a hero in that movie for stealing cars?

Right, exactly, dude. Not cool. Right. He did help save Private Ryan. That was a noble endeavor. Spoiler alert,

he doesn't get anywhere close to helping save Private Ryan. That was a noble endeavor. Spoiler alert. He doesn't get anywhere close to Hell Pigs. Private Ryan. I'd tell you more about that one movie he was in, but it would be a boiler room alert. All right, here we go. That movie's actually fucking great. You like that?

Oh, my God, yeah. You got your series seven? Get the fuck out of here. That was a free line. You're welcome. Is that your favorite movie that you're not in? Ooh, shit, that's close, too. Alright, keep thinking on it. Okay. Dale

Cheeseman, you gotta name three more Dwayne Johnson things that you think are in his top four. Shit. Yeah, right? There's WWE, Moana, The Rundown and

now I just can't even think of one oh Scorpion King Scorpion King how do you not say Tooth Fairy how do you not fucking say Tooth Fairy the answers are actually WrestleMania x 7. WrestleMania x 7.

I don't know how they number those. 17. 17? Wow, that is a very special kind of nerd. I'm not joking. That's the one he got over on. That means it's like a Ten in Roman numerals

But then just a number seven That's how they do that shit? Seven is what How I saw it written on IMDB Wow that is dumb Yeah Seventeen

And then he's in They also named Fast and Furious 6 God damn it Yeah And G.I. Joe Retaliation. I know, weird, right? That's what makes this game fun, is how stupid it is, how weird it is.

All right, so Dale gets the one point for that. We're going to play three rounds of this, and then we're going to move on to games where you don't have to yell out your own name, or what are you doing, cardio? Jesse and Cheeseman. Alright. Next round

starts with the motion picture, the theory of everything. Cardio. What do you got? What do you got, Cardio? Eddie Redmayne. Eddie Redmayne is correct.

I need three more Eddie Redmayne titles, and I'll be impressed if you can even name three Eddie Redmayne movies, but maybe they'll match up. Jupiter Ascending. Okay. I don't know why they would already put this in there, but we'll go with it. Fantastic Beasts, so I'm going to find out.

Are you clapping because I'm right or because of how fucking good I look right now? The answer is both. One more, one more. Earth Girls are easy? The Wiz? Don't think he's in that. There's so many kids

in that film. Yeah, I mean, usually we can rule out movies that are in theaters now. Like, for some reason, they don't pop up quickly on this, but today, you lucked out because Fantastic Beasts is in his top four.

He might have got in there and engineered his own top four because, you know, the actors can do that now. For real? Yeah. Shit. Yeah, you gotta get on it. That's when you should figure out what your top four is Well, Boogie Nights Departed

Fucking A Go way fucking early Go fucking Renaissance Man, dude Alright, and then finish it up with I Heart Huckabees That's a solid fucking call, dude I like that a lot Although Three Kings, I like that a lot. Oh, fuck, Three Kings. This is, you know what?

You really want to fucking hurt yourself? Try to think of only four good fucking movies up in here. Are you a contraband? Oh, no, it hurts my head, so I'm going to stop doing it. Max? Okay. Yeah, it's very painful. Alright, so you got Fantastic Beasts correct,

but then they listed Danish Girl and Les Miserables. So you are up to two points, Mark. Dale has one, and then there's Jesse. Yeah. Buzzing in as Cheeseman. Round three. The Imitation Game.

Cheese Buzz. What do you got? Benedict Cumberbatch. That's correct. Cheese Buzz. What do you got? Benedict Cumberbatch. That's correct. I feel like this one's a lot easier than it was last time. It wasn't usually the lead guy. Alright, so that's

one for you, but can you name three more? BC movies. Doctor Strange. Sherlock. Sherlock. Sherlock's in the top four, for sure. For Sherlock? Sherlock, either way.

And, shit, what's another Benedict Cumberbatch thing? I got two. He was in August Osage County. I will have to take your word for that That is the clunkiest set of words Benedict Cumberbatch Osage County

That's too many syllables It's a good thing they didn't have to include his name on the market Ever Shit, yeah, I'm out at those two That's what I got Sherlock and Doctor Strange I mean, it's not enough But yeah, I'm out at those two. That's what I got. Sherlock and Doctor Strange. I mean, it's not enough. And Imitation Game.

But yeah, Doctor Strange is in there. So yeah, so you managed to get two points. The other two that they listed that you didn't mention were Star Trek Into Darkness. Ah, shit. And Black Mass. Oh. Black Mass.

Where I think he had to try very hard to have an Irish accent. He was technically like that. Yeah, it didn't really work out. Alright, so that means that Mark and Jesse are tied with two points each in this game so we have to play the tiebreaker. Let's do this, Chuck.

Cheeseman sit this one out. The Cheeseman stands alone. Oh, man, you've heard that a bunch of times, haven't you? Yeah, since like three years old. But that was my first time. It was my first time, too, which is why I enjoyed it so much. But then I felt guilty.

No, no, no, it's fine. It's what I'm here for. All right, so Jesse and Mark, get ready to buzz in as Cheesebuzz and Cardio for the following top four best known for Man of Steel is the first title. No takers. Cheesebuzz. You don't want to get that negative one, do you? Oh, shit. Then no.

I'm rescinding my Cheesebuzz. I't want to get that negative one, do you? Oh, shit. Then no. I'm rescinding my cheese buzz. I forgot that you got dumped. You know, sometimes I get really high and I wish I could rescind my cheese buzz. All right, the second film is Enchanted. Oh, shit. Man of Steel and Enchanted. Oh, shit. Man of Steel and Enchanted. You want to see that one?

Shh. I do not want to say this answer. The third film is American Hustle. I'm no closer to this. And the fourth title, for the win, for the win... Cardio. Oh, he's coming in. What do you got?

Amy Adams. That's correct. Oh, nice. I swear to God, if you would have said Poison Ivy 2, I would have known it first. She kills in that fucking movie. I liked her a lot in that movie Junebug. I thought she was very good in that.

She got nominated for an Oscar for that and it put her on the map. But would you want to guess what her number four is? Her fourth one? Mark Is that that alien Lost in Translation fucking movie? Arrival? Is that how you describe Arrival?

Yeah, is that a sequel to Lost in Translation? Did the alien whisper in her ear before it left? You know that's how they pitch that shit, dude. It's like aliens pitch laws in translation. I wish I knew what the alien said to her. If I ever meet that alien, I'm going to ask him. God, Bill Murray must get that question way too much. Oh, shit.

Dude, her last one. Fucking A. The Fighter. What? The Fighter? Oh, of course. I would put it in their top four. I think it's a great movie.

She's great at it. But they went with Superman V, Batman V Superman, Halls of Justice, and... That's how much people don't even give a shit about that movie. No one's upset that I said the title wrong.

It's Dawn of Justice. But Halls of Justice sounds like, you know, you get a nice cough drop while you watch it. All right, so for winning that game, Mark gets to go first in the next game. That's all he wins, Jesse. He Mark gets to go first in the next game. That's all he wins, Jesse. Okay. He just gets to go first in the next game.

Great. No presh, no presh. And it's a game of ABC Deez Nuts. I'll tell you what word we're spelling today, and then we just go a letter at a time. And when it gets to you, whatever your letter is, you have to just name any movie that begins with that letter. And, you know, T, the, begins with T. None of that shit where you're like,

Clockwork Orange is a C movie, man. I won't put up with it. Not tonight, that's right. Not on December 3rd. Of all nights. All right, so... I've got a new program that's going to premiere in 2017 on Comedy Central called The High Court.

Okay. Okay, thank you. program that's going to premiere in 2017 on Comedy Central called The High Court. Welcome back. Thank you. Would you be a bailiff on The High Court, Mark? In a fucking heartbeat, dude. You need me to fucking regulate people and beat some fucking ass? I will do that shit for you. No, there's very little ass beating in it, but you would have to smoke weed with me in the

deliberation room. I'm in. It's just funny. It sounded like you took it in. I'm in. It's just funny. It sounded like you took it in. I'm in. All right. So we're going to spell the high court. And so the first letter B-T,

we'll start with Dale, then we'll go to Mark, and then to Jesse. And, you know, just pretty easy. But if you match, this is the important thing, if you match the movie that I wrote down ahead of time

on this piece of paper, then you automatically win the whole game. If you can't think of a movie that begins with a letter, not only do I feel very sad inside, but you're out. But not for the whole show.

And all you win in this game is get to go first in the next game. So very little pressure. It's about consistency. And luck. And knowing shit. Okay, here we go. The letter is T.

Literacy. The Avengers. Not Marvel's The Avengers. The Avengers. Not Marvel's The Avengers? Not Disney's Marvel's The Avengers? Not Disney's Marvel's Avengers brought to you by Starbucks? Did I miss out on why Dale gets to go first? Huh?

Oh, you won the last game, didn't you? Okay, it's fine. Don't go with The Avengers. You're right, you're right, you're right. I'll defer to the normal people. Dale, you're off the hook the Avengers. You're right, you're right, you're right. I'll defer to the normal people. Dale, you're off the hook. Dale, you're off the hook. Mark, you get T. Shit.

All right. The Avengers. I think this place is haunted. T, so like anything that begins, like the, gets the job done. The Grapes of Wrath. Good one.

Good one. I went with the verdict. H is the next letter for you, Jesse. Oh, for me? Yeah, we're going to go around this way Alright Hidalgo Hidalgo?

I'm a little surprised myself That came so quickly to the front of my brain But I'll tell you why I don't know why they just call it horsey I don't even Yeah I know Viggo Mortensen's in it But Hidalgo is some Mexican character Who had something to do

with the Alamo. Oh, okay. And I just saw his name written on a thing. So you were stepping in pain without even knowing it. The Treaty of Something Hidalgo is how we got California.

It's a long story. Anyway, it has nothing to do with me liking horsey movies. I just want to make that clear. I don't know why I feel like I need to defend myself. I don't know.

I went with Hollywood Homicide. All right, so we went with Hollywood Homicide. Alright, so we went with different ones then. But Cheeseman gets to go for E. Oh, do you get more points if you just, because that's a double H. Yeah, I get, I got more points on that. No, but I'm saying like is it beneficial? Should I be trying to like... No.

You should just be trying to say a movie that begins with that letter. You really fucked into Hidalgo. E. Dale. Ella Enchanted. Oh, okay. Just that these double points rule flies. I didn't see where we landed on that.

I went with Erin Brockovich. Being Erin Brockovich? Erin Brockovich. Don't just Aaron Brockovich. Being Aaron Brockovich? Aaron Brockovich. Don't just Aaron Brockovich. Now I'm starting to wonder, were there any courtroom scenes in Hollywood Homicide? Okay. H is the next letter for Mark.

Hung jury. What? Hung jury. Hung jury? Isn't that that John Cusack movie? Oh, a John Cusack movie called Hung Jury? Isn't that that John Cusack movie? Oh, a John Cusack movie called Hung Jury? Isn't that what it is? No, don't say it.

Thank you very much. Okay, I got another H if that wasn't it. Yeah, give me an H. Hell or High Water. What? Hell or High Water. Hell or High Water. Very good.

That's a double. One of my favorite. That's another double. So you get two points. You should be getting points. Hell or high water. Very good. That's a double. One of my favorite. That's another double. So you get two points. You should be getting points. Okay, I took it. I went with Halloween 2 because I couldn't think of any

courtroom movies that started with H. I is the next letter. Is that me? Mm-hmm. Invictus. Ah, good. Yeah, I went with Inherit that me? Mm-hmm. Invictus. Ah, good. Yeah, I went with inherit the wind.

Mm-hmm. G, Cheeseman. Get short. T. No, it was T. Get smart. Get smart. T.

Stop helping the contestants. Or maybe you just loudly ordered tea What's it called? Get smart Yeah, okay I thought get short myself I'm sorry, it's get smarty and get short

I thought he was I thought he was doing some kind of meta joke Where he shortened the title Get shorty And I was like, what's happening? Is this too smart for me? No I thought he was doing some kind of meta joke where he shortened the title get short D and I was like wait what's happening is this too smart for me no

yep he's definitely too smart for you did I name a movie I was just giving myself advice yeah that's fine Mark

you got the letter oh did I say mine my G is Ghosts of Mississippi H for Mark Hellboy Hellboy good Hellboy? Good one.

I went for Halloween 3, Season of the Witch. C is the next letter. Yeah. Cutthroat Island. Okay. I went with Class Action. Starring Gene Hackman and Lawrence Fishburne. O is the next letter. I want to think of a court movie like... Class Action starring Gene Hackman and Lawrence Fishburne.

O is the next letter. I want to think of a court movie like Out of Line or something. Out of Order. Yeah, that'd be a good one. Cheese Man. I'll just go... Cheese Man. Oculus. I went with an Italian courtroom movie

called Open Doors. I've never seen or heard of previous to trying to find a fucking courtroom movie that begins with O. U is the next letter for Mark. Unbreakable. What? Unbreakable. Okay, great movie. I went with Under Suspicion.

God damn it. Hackman again. R. Oh, it's Hackman again. R. Oh, it's me? Yeah. All right. Shit, this shouldn't be hard. Why is this hard?

This shouldn't be hard at all. It begins with R. I know. I know how this works. Renegade? Is that the name of the movie? It sounds like the name of the movie. Probably. Probably. Sweet. It probably is. Let's go with Renegade? Is that the name of a movie? It sounds like the name of a movie. Probably. Probably. Sweet. It probably is. Let's go with Renegade.

I went with Home Jury. I mean Runaway Jury. Oh, nice. And the last letter is T. This is like lobbed up to you. It's all been set up. Anyone? No, it's G. Smith. Oh, the Lincoln lawyer. It's pretty good. Got close?

I went with 12 angry men. And that's ABCD's notes. Good job. No official winner, so that means that Mark gets to start us off again in a mini-tournament of Last Man Stanton. First round's going to go like usual. I'm going to get a name from somebody in the audience who's been pre-selected via Twitter,

and then I am going to go to Mark first, and then we'll switch the order around, and then we'll go to Dale and then Jesse. And you just got to name movies that person was in. I'll play along because it's fun. But you get one lifeline each round. That's the person whose name Taggy Pooks picked. So Jesse, you get Jess, and Cheeseman, you get? Dominique. Yeah, and?

Are you good? Mark, it's Brian. And so get your thinking caps on, you guys, and try not to cheat. Try not to get the answers from other people at your table or from your phone, but if you do and get away with it, good for you.

Yeah. Yeah, and what else do I have to say about this game? Oh, first one out in the first round gets to pick any actor or actress for the next round of play. So you can pick somebody that you really could school everybody on. Don't be afraid to make it super difficult

if there's somebody whose work you know. Let me think. If I drop out first in this round, when it's my turn, I'm going to say Vincent Schiavelli. And then you guys are going to lose to me. Can't wait. He's in the Italian

courtroom movie that you just mentioned a minute ago. Who's the person I picked? Where's Marty underscore Farty? Where are you at, Marty underscore Farty? The mayor of San Antonio. Yeah. Do you have a voice?

Oh, hey, dude. How's it going? Good. Good. Why is your name Marty underscore Farty? I mean, I assume your name's Marty. I don't know. You don't know? Yeah. Marty, no underscore F farty. I mean, I assume your name's Marty. I don't know. You don't know?

Yeah. Marty, no underscore farty was taken? Yes. You still decided to run with it, though. You were determined. Just throw a little

underscore in there and you still got a real fun name. And who are you suggesting for Last Man Stanton? Ray Liotta. Ray Liotta. Ray Liotta. Oh, boy.

We're all going home early today. I'm thinking of... Some Liotta's are coming to mind. I'm thinking of some Liotta's. But we start with Mark. Give me a Ray Leota. Good, fellas. Oh, you took the best one.

How dare are you? Dale Cheeseman, you got a Leota? It's never too early to use... What? It's never too early to use a lifeline is what I was trying to say while you were giving an incorrect answer that I did not hear. I didn't hear it because I was talking. I apologize for that. Do you want to use your lifeline?

Do I want to use my lifeline? Do you want to be out right now? Yeah, what do you got? Yeah, that's right. You do get to pick in the next... Something Wild. She's going Something Wild with Melanie Griffith

and Jeff Daniels. First time really seeing all three of them. They made them all stars. And that is correct. I'll check it out. My turn? What's happening?

No? You writing a thing? What's that? Who goes? Me? My go Narc Narc

You know that? Yeah, right? That's one I did it You did it You're good at this I'm going with Heartbreakers

Oh yeah Gene Hackman again Alright, so we're still in the Ray Liotta one, right? Yeah, we are Breakers. Oh yeah. Gene Hackman again. Alright, so we're still in the Ray Liotta one, right? Yeah, we are. So you can't think of one, but you've got a lifeline. Mark? Sabrina, Sabrina.

What? That's right. That lady out in the audience said, what? I agree with her. What? Alright, he's not in that? Fuck. Well, I didn't say.

I mean, you gotta... I thought he was in that movie, Sabrina, Sabrina. There is no movie called Sabrina, Sabrina, first of all. Maybe I'm just thinking of a couple of chicks I hung out with. Yeah, with the same name. I'm not with Ray Liotta. All right, I'll use my lifeline. He's going to use his lifeline. Hannibal.

Oh, nice. Nice, good pull, Duke. Hannibal. Hannibal, yeah. Hannibal eats his brains out of his head. That's correct. With him just sitting up there, all sitting up, all being all Ray Liotta. His head cut open.

He eats his brains. I love it. Feel the dreams. No, sorry. It's my turn, right? Oh, you're not out. Did Mark just go? I was just going to let that happen.

No matter which direction we're going, you're not next after Mark. Oh, because you've got to go. Mark said handle. But it's Dale's turn now. All right, it's Dale's turn. Do it. I'm going to ask, was he in Contraband?

Or I'll ask Mark, was he in Contraband? You think I pay attention to who else is in the fucking movie? Yeah, so Contraband. I don't think he's in that. Someone yell out, yes he is. Yeah, yes he is. Are you the person whose name tag he chose? Was that Dominique?

No. I don't think he's in it. I'm going to stand by that decision. I'm a judge now. So I stand behind these decisions, and then we'll drag the corrections department into it later. But you get to pick first. You get to pick who we do in the next round,

so that's exciting. You got that going for you. Jesse? Okay, so now me. Feel the Dreams. Yes! Right? Surprised that, so now me. Feel the Dreams. Yes! Huh? Right?

Surprised that, because I said it out loud already. He plays a friendly character, but I find him so scary, I wouldn't go into that question. I wouldn't do that. Okay, fucking Ray Liotta. God damn it.

He's been in so much stuff. But it's sad that I'm completely blank on it. Ooh. Oh, he was in that one where he was like, and everyone was like, all right. All right, just for the sake of time, I'm going to tap.

Mark? Fuck, I know what movie he was into, and I cannot think of it. Okay, just say it. Part of me thinks he was in the Lego movie. What? Fuck. He was in... me thinks he was in the Lego movie. What? Fuck. He was in...

Shh. He was in... God, I've never said this before in my life. What are you going to say? Will you edit this out? What? Just edit out the next thing I'm about to say. Why, what is it?

A tan. You're out? We don't got to be so fucking clear about it. I'm just... Yeah, dude, I don't know. Why don't you just say JFK? That's always worth a shot. Easy.

We're in Texas. Chill out. It's not worth a shot. I'd be a dick. It was like fucking two. Go ahead and guess it. You never know what'll happen. The anniversary was like two weeks ago.

Finally, assassination puns. Let's do this. Fuck yeah, dude. I got one. All right, so it's Jesse. Flock of Dudes. What? The one that we know everybody in.

Yeah. What's it called? Flock of Dudes. Flock of Dudes? Yeah, it's a new movie. Chris D'Elia's in it. Did you use your lifeline yet? No, I haven't used my lifeline.

Well, let's go to Jess. Why? It's a movie. Flock of Dudes. There's no way that's in it. Did you use your lifeline yet? No, I haven't used my lifeline. Well, let's go to chess. Why? It's a movie. Flock of Dudes. There's no way that's a movie. It's a fucking movie. No fucking way that's a movie. Flock of Dudes.

Chris Talia's in it. Fucking Hannibal's in it. And Ray Liotta. Yeah, and Ray Liotta's in it. All right, shush. Thank you. I don't want her help. She just thumbs up to me.

Listen, if I can turn down contraband, I can turn down a Flock of Dudes. Flock of D dudes is legit. That is a legit call. It's probably in far. All right, but you're the winner anyway of that particular round. Let's hear it for Jesse.

He did it. I did it. Oh, man. This feels better than I thought it would to win one of these things. Okay, now tell us all the ones we missed. Oh, turbulence, turbulence. Karina, Karina. That's right. I was thinking of Karina, Karina.

That's right. I was thinking of Karina, Karina. Whoopi Goldberg. Karina, Karina. All right, now hold on. Shut your mouth for a second, normal people. The movie with James Gandolfini and Brad Pitt, it was like he died before it came out.

Mexican. No, that's a fucking Mexican. Killing Them Softly. That was the fucking movie I was trying to think of. Oh, Killing Them Softly. Sin City. Date Night. Sin City, Date Night.

Slovener Port, B-Movie, Casino. Casino? Casino. Get Smarty. Blow. Identity, yeah. All right, that's enough. He's been in a lot of movies good for him good job ray leona's scaring children for four decades like when he laughs and he smiles it's scarier than when he's looking angry. Scarier looking.

All right, so Jesse has one point, and now we're going to start with Dale, and we'll switch the order around, so it'll go the opposite way. So Dale will go, then Mark, then me, and then Jesse. And Dale, you get a pick. Any actor or actress? Let's go with Michael Shannon. Michael Shannon? Thank you. I like it.

Holy shit. God damn it. Don't start saying names of movies. Alright, so you start us off there, Dale. Batman v Superman, Dawn of Justice. Okay. Do not laugh. there Dale Batman V Superman don't justice okay I'm just gonna write it I'm sorry BVS BVS mark mass deal what man of steel yeah I thought you said may may I steal? I don't ask. I would not expect you to.

I would not. I'm gonna go with a mud. A mud. Jesse? Iceman. Iceman? Yeah.

It's the serial killer guy. Okay. I know what I'm talking about. All right. Dale? Midnight Special. Mm-hmm. Yes.

Back to you, Mark. 99 Homes. Yes. He was really good in that one. He's really good at everything. Yeah. I should work with him. I should let him work with me.

You know what? I'm going to let him work with me. Yeah, you should totally be in a Michael Shannon movie. You guys could just stare at each other. That is not how you would describe it if we were in a movie together. He should be in a Mark Wahl room. There you go, dude. You're right.

Whose turn is it? Mine? You. Me. Bug. He was in mud and bug. I'm not going to figure this one out. It's that movie.

Well, to have Jess give you a little help. Jess, what do you got? The Young Ones. What's that? I don't know that one. Okay. Okay. Is that the one you were going to say?

I don't know. I wouldn't know the title of it. I can think of the movie. What's it about? Am I allowed to do that? Because you seem to, you know, We already accepted your answer. Okay. I already't know. I wouldn't know the title of it. I can think of the movie. Am I allowed to do that? We already accepted your answer. I already say yes.

Yes to The Young Ones. Great. Starring Michael Shannon. Supernatural? Supernatural? The TV series? No, it's on his IMDB page and I've never seen it. I'm just throwing out what I think I saw the title was. Wait, so you picked Michael Shannon because you are a...

I did not expect you all to do this good on Michael Shannon. You are an expert. I thought we'd go one round, and everyone might have won. He took the Iceman from me. Bullshit. All right, I'm going to take Supernatural, but... Maybe you just guessed it on the TV series. Oh, yeah, they show that on IMDb?

It shows him in a field that's pretty. It's not that dark. All right. Mark? Brian, what you got? Revolutionary Road. Revolutionary motherfucking Road. Nice.

The little Revo Road I'm going to write down. He got nominated for that. What? I think he got nominated for that. Yeah, he did. For a Cable Ace Award. Now it's my turn. I'm picturing him.

I'm scared of what he's going to do. And I'm going to have to say... My 10. Your 10? Oh, okay. 10. Jesse? He was on at midnight.

Does that count? I can't. No. It's on his IMDb page. He's a really... I did meet him. He's a really fun guy, actually. He's shockingly funny for somebody who...

Who's always so serious. Carries himself like an autistic refrigerator salesman. He's surprisingly quick with it. Oh, I got one! God damn it! All right, go ahead. I mean, whose turn is it, Dale? Is it Let's Go to Prison?

No, he's in that? Yeah, he plays the head of the Nazi guy. Okay, it's perfect casting. That's one of those ones, if I saw that movie again, I'd be like, oh, yeah! That's because I forgot he did comedies, and you reminded me of that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, I helped. What do you got there, Mark? Fuck. We're going to have to edit out another tab. Maybe I'll just go down swinging on this one. Oh, I like that. JFK?

It's always worth a shot. It's not okay. I'm going gonna go with He is in Fuck it's animated I think he's in an animated movie Oh yeah By the way when we get done If he's in movie 33

And someone yells it out, you need to reevaluate your fucking life. But I am going to go with It's so hard to know you're going to lose. I don't know how you people deal with it every day. You can still stage

a big comeback in the next round. You'll be the first one out, so you get to pick the next name. Alright, cool. Sharktail. Yeah, he's not in there. Jesse? I'm out, but there was that one. You're out? You're already out? Yeah, I've been there. And I did already, yeah.

You got another one, Cheeseman? You're out, You're already out? Yeah. And I did already, yeah. You got another one, Cheeseman? You're out, Cheeseman? Whatever. What about... Cecil B. Demented. She has so much confidence when she says it. You've got such a good... Such a good...

name tag person. What was that other yell happening over there? Do what on the stage? Is everybody out? No, Dale's the only one that was left. He wins the round. Shocking. Yeah, you did it. But I was going to add that I thought of

Freeheld. He was in Freeheld. Dr. Rambles! What? Did I ask yet? Free Held. He was in Free Held. Groundhog Day. What? Did I ask yet? Premium Rush. Vanilla Sky? Really? Groundhog Day.

They came together the night before. Take Shelter, of course. He's in every Jeff Nichols movie. before. Take Shelter, of course. He's in every Jeff Nichols movie. Mud, take Shelter. Midnight Special, he's in Loving, too. He's in 8 Mile? Bad Boys 2? God damn it, this guy's been working.

I just thought he was Zod. Alright, so the point there goes to Dale. So Jesse's got a point, Dale's got a point. And Mark gets to pick the next name that we play. And we'll switch the order around again. So Dale, you're up next. And I go first? Huh?

And I go first? Yeah, you get to go first. Bob Euchre. What? No. All right, go. No, shh. I want to go with

Bob Barker. Wait. I got my bobs wrong. Oh, go with Bob Barker. Wait. I got my Bobs wrong. Oh, you met Bob Barker when you said Bob Uker? Yeah. Oh. I know, because I could come up with like four Bob Ukers. I don't know which of those two gentlemen would be more sad by that.

But I'm sure neither of them listens to this podcast. So you want to go Bob Barker, because to the best of all of our knowledge, he's been in one movie. And you get to go Bob Barker because to the best of all of our knowledge he's been in one movie and you get to go first so go ahead and let us have it alright what was the name of this fucking movie Happy Gilmore. Okay, that's correct.

Dale? Come on, Dominique, don't embarrass yourself. Yeah, he hasn't been in anything yet. Price is Right, 3D. The movie. Faces of Death, weirdly enough. Yeah, the new to your pets edition.

Yeah. All right, do you have one, Jesse? Face, that's what I was going to say. No, I don't. Jess, Jess? I got nothing. But your lifeline, Jess.

Oh, yeah. No, I'm not expecting, you know, I wasn't even going to waste her time with this. Yeah, going to waste her time with this. Yeah, don't waste her time with this. She's got other things to do sitting over there. Jess, when you made this poster, why the fuck

didn't you put Jesse Spano on there? I can't think of one. Hey, that's a good one. That's a good Jesse. I can't think of another one, so I'm pretty sure that puts it to bed, and mark gets a point so whoever wins the next round wins the whole shit and match and uh Dale you were the first out you're the first one you're the first one to fail to think of another Bob Barker movie

when you said Bob you were I was kind of excited because you know we could at least go Major League Major League 2 and Major League 3

I know but I you go a little further with his name and then Mr. Belvedere and that's it but Dale you gotta pick another name

do you have another Michael Shannon like name that you've studied no nothing Michael Shannon like nobody else you've studied we have like nobody else will go Aaron Eckhart try that you want to do Aaron okay take thank you for smoking I like him yeah so this is that was

already brought up yeah that's good good strategy and which way were we going this time which way do we go last time? Last time we were... Mark's turn. So it's Mark's turn? Okay, go Mark. The dark night rises. Or the dark night, Jesus Christ. Hold on.

What do you say? Wait, is that not it? Just say it. Lifeline. Brian, give me your fucking thing. What? What's happening? I don't know.

Everybody start fucking yelling at me. You're going your Lifeline already? Why not? The dude gets to feel special. All right, Lifeline. What do you got for Mark? It's the Dark Knight. Yeah. I do not think it Mark? It's the Dark Knight.

Yeah. I do not think it's called It's the Dark Knight. You know what? Fuck him. I'm not using him. I'm going The Dark Knight. It's a dark night. Such a dark night. On a dark night. We got to fight.

That was a great fucking song, dude. We could sell that. Alright, The Dark Knight. Jesus Christ. God, he's been in so many things, but I just start totally going blank on him, because he's Joe character actor. But I'll say

another one that was mentioned earlier, Aaron Brockovich. Aaron Eckhart's a kind of tough one, I think. Yeah. You already out? Yeah. He's got a giant chin.

I know that. That's okay. Battle LA. What? Battle LA? Okay, settle down. Battle LA. What? Battle LA. Battle LA? Yep. Okay, settle down. Fucking director of Battle LA sitting over there.

Dale. Meet Bill. Okay. Smart people are clapping. Most of y'all watch me, Bill. That's a great title for your next special. Smart people are clapping. And make sure you tell the audience beforehand.

It sounds like how you audit a butcher. Meat Bill, come on. Mark, how you doing over there? I don't know anything about this guy. I'm going to be honest with you. The reason I let Brian go is because I don't know who Aaron Eckhart is. You saw Dark Knight, right? I did.

I know he's the guy with the chin, but I don't. Yeah. That's all I know about him. Then you do know who he is. He's the giant chin. The guy with the chin. Yeah, he's got a... He's got a butt chin.

He's memorable in anything. He's been like, oh, okay, there's that chin guy. He's always handsome. He's always got his butt chin. It never occurred to me to hit record on this moment in my life. Like, oh, I should retain this performance. Anyway. What happened?

You're out, Mark? Yeah, I talked to him. Maybe it's something about San Antonio or something? Like, you're just not on your game today. I think I am pretty much on my fucking game today. It's just, I don't know who Aaron Eckhart is, and I'm not gonna... I let Brian say his piece. He yelled out the wrong title. I had to fix it.

I've already dropped a Poison Ivy 2 reference. What more can I do? You've done it all. You've done it all. We don't have time for lines. And also, no donuts made it to the stage, so we don't have to take time to throw some donuts either. I know.

It's weird. Is it my turn? You're out. I'm out, too. Alright, so it's on me? That's where we're going? That's how we're playing this? Shit. Oh, the Company of Men. Is it in the Company of Men?

I fucked it up. I'm out. I got one. Jesse? I just thought of one. The guy with the chin. Yeah. Jane's got a gun. He's in that. Okay. Yeah.

Fuck yeah. I pulled it off. Thanks, Jess. Thank you. In the company of men. That's what it's called, yeah. In the company of men. Damn it.

Dave, I'm going to tell you you right now I don't know you I would look down on you If I met you in any other scenario of life You're a scrappy motherfucker, dude It is an honor sitting next to you And you know the thing I said About looking down on you? I would do that anywhere

In any scenario of life You're welcome Oh my god, he's touching me right now. Wow, Dale wins a prize too tonight. Real quick, Dale. The Wahlberg touch. Did you come? For the first time in a long time.

And it was glorious. Do you have another one? There was that thing he was in with Jennifer Aniston. I can't think of the title of that. It was like a romance thing. Probably just called Poor Jennifer Aniston. He works a lot. He works a lot. We're going to get, in a moment, not yet,

they're going to yell titles at us. But for right now, I'm going to say Dale Cheeseman is our winner. He did it. No one saw it coming. Thank you. So, where's your, where's Dominique? Where you at? Right over here. Oh, that's right. Of course. There are great answers over there.

Come get your stuff. This one's really heavy and full of bottles. And this is, yeah, like a beauty pageant winner. Good for you. There she is. Oh, you want your name tag thingy back? Yeah, you might as well get that back. Do you want to keep that?

No, you don't get to keep it. Mark almost curb stomped her name tag. That'd be funny. All right. When's your Patriot Day movie coming out, Mark? It's coming out later this month, I believe. This month? It's a Christmas release?

Yeah. All right. It's going to be really fucking good. And as I've told you, I just saw another edit of the next Transformers. The question is, how many Oscars aren't we going to fucking win?

Yeah, where is Donnie? What time is it? It's almost 6 o'clock. Yeah, then he's probably started up the car and waiting out front right now. Yeah, you can't get your hair rained on. No, fuck no. Yeah, you gotta just dive right into that thing, action movie style. Yeah, I told him, I go, Donnie, if you don't have an umbrella, I will carry you over my fucking head, but I am not gonna do it.

if you don't have an umbrella, I will carry you over my fucking head, but I am not going to. Dale Cheeseman, what do you got coming up? Going back to Houston? Yeah. Hanging out in Houston?

Coming up on the 22nd, we're doing a Christmas show at the Rockefeller Hall. No, Rockefeller Hall. It's a historic venue in Houston. Supports a good cause, dogs for veterans. There's more to the dogs. They're not regular dogs.

They're like special dogs for veterans. So buy tickets for that. Keep your regular dogs away from our vets. So then again, I ask, why do you have poinsettias and chocolate in your car? I told you, because I'm a great person and people give me gifts. Okay.

Also, wait, I think there's a thank you card in there. You're going to kill a PTSD service animal. Come out to that and just follow me in general. Yeah, just follow him around. Where are you going tonight? Are you going over to Twin Peaks for a little bite? Because I'm hungry and hungry.

No, I'm... I have another show in town that I can't mention because it competes with this club's show, so... Oh, that's sweet of you. Follow me. The craziest thing to me

about that Twin Peaks restaurant chain is they don't have cherry pie. It makes no sense to me. Like, it's the one thing they gotta do. I mean, I guess maybe they get sued or something over the name if they do that. So they just went with tits. Jesse Joyce, what do you got coming up?

Where can people go see you? On this stage, in an hour and a half. And then again in three and a half hours. And then beyond that I'm doing New Year's in Richland, Washington in a club called Jokers. So, Washington State.

Yeah. Cool. Thank you for being here. Thanks, man. It's always fun with you. Thank you to all of my guests. Jesse Joyce, Dale Cheeseman and Mark Wahlberg.

And thank you to LOL Comedy Club and all of you guys for showing up on a rainy Saturday afternoon. I really appreciate it. I hope you had fun. Should we do it again sometime? All right, I'll take that as a maybe. I understand your reservations. Oh, I got one more plug I want to throw in

while I'm at it, because I got my holiday tape shows coming up. December 26th, San Diego. The 27th, Irvine. 29th, Sacramento. And New Year's Eve, 420 in Tempe, Arizona. The final Douglas movies of this year will be on New Year's Eve in Tempe.

And as always, Jeff, Jeff, there's only one number to remember, and that's 4-Davis-4-4-4-4-4-4-4 is a shithead. Now I'm thinking I should have said that one second. So that's like a local ad that's stuck in your brains.

And people who say Die Hard isn't a Christmas movie are a shitload. The King's eyes are open, viewing prowess makes it foggy. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!