Doug Loves Movies - Jim Gaffigan, W. Kamau Bell, Pete Lee, and Graham Elwood Guest

Episode Date: April 2, 2013

Live from the Gramercy Theatre in NYC, Doug welcomes comedians Jim Gaffigan, W. Kamau Bell, Pete Lee, and Graham Elwood to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Great Candyman The Great Candyman was taking easy, He sees with empty eyes A pile of kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug Bones, who he is Hey everybody My name is Doug And I love movies Hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies.

That's as far as I can get without having to look at the script. But that was pretty good, I think. And we're coming to you once again From our home in New York The Gramercy Theater On Tuesday, April 2 To Oceans 13! Yay! Let's see your name tags

I want to see those name tags If we can get the house lights up a little bit. That'd be awesome also, because I'm going to make a vine of all... Oh, that's haunting. That is really... If you guys could see what I could see right now... Oh, my God.

That's a really interesting look. Let me get a crazy vine of that. As soon as I open my phone put in my coat all right oh no that's amazing here we go I just took a vine and showed the audience the vine for the listeners now I have to hit next and then I type in what should I say about how it's going so far

tonight awesome that's a fun word What should I say about how it's going so far tonight? Awesome. That's a fun word. NYC. Mother... Fuckers. Suggested era. Yeah. Errs.

No, it suggested era. Yeah, I wanted to talk about, I wanted to write about the motherfuck era. Remember when that was going down? I've been swearing a lot on my Twitter lately. I just feel like people need to grow up. Not worry so much about swearing. There's so much evil shit going on.

People care about swearing. Let's get back to the script. I don't know where that was going. Tomorrow night, right here in New York City, tickets still available. The greatest movie ever rolled Is playing at the Friars Club Comedy Film Festival Are some of you coming to that?

I hope so I'll be there answering audience cues With some A's Yeah, you throw down some cues I'll dole out some A's So come on down, it's only $10 Yeah, I wrote it, that's what I wrote $10 $10 yeah I wrote it that's what I wrote $10

$10 make you holler and is that racist and I'm happy I think I was quoting somebody and I'm happy to say that I will be back here at the Gramercy Theater

for another Road Douglass movies on Monday July 1st. Yeah. Some of you have tickets already? Holy shit. I love that you guys fill this place

every time and it's always so much fun and I try to bring you the best guests possible and tonight I got four people, but since last I spoke and you possible. Tonight I got four people. Since last I spoke and you listened, I did a show at Northeastern

University in Boston. Oh, shit. Did you road trip in from there? Holy crap. Oh, wow. I had so much fun that I'm going to be back in Beantown in May and I'll be at a place called the

Brighton Music Hall I didn't write it down, that was from memory I almost said Brighton Beach Memoirs I'll be at Brighton Beach Memoirs with Jonathan Silverman as Matthew Broderick. Before the show yesterday in Beantown,

I saw G.I. Joe Retaliation. Yeah. Now I guess G.I. Joe is even with me for not seeing the first one mission accomplished G.I. Joe you retaliated now it's time for tweet relief

tweets about movies on Sunday my friend at Dave Anthony tweeted family tradition we eat a nice ham dinner, then we watch an old VH copy of Caligula together.

This has been Tweet Relief, Easter edition. Let's look in the prize bag, you guys. Let's see what's in the prize bag. You brought a lot of great name tags that I just find, so you deserve a lot of great prizes, starting with...

Nabisco's real chocolate chip cookies. What real? Can they put that on the package? These are real. Signed by one of the guests. So that was, like like food that was backstage and we just improvised. But it's appropriate.

When you find out who it is, you'd be like, yeah, he'd sign some... I mean, she or he might sign some. Then we got a couple of CDs that I'll tell you about in a second. My CD, Smug Life. New one's going to be available soon. I'm recording it in San Francisco

on April 20th. Oh, we got a book that you guys may have some familiarity with. We'll talk about that in a second. And, courtesy of the Friars Club Comedy Film Festival, where my latest opus, greatest movie ever rolled, will be playing tomorrow night at 9.15. We have four passes,

badges, they're hanging on a thing, they're on a lanyard, to the Friars Club Comedy Film Festival. And it goes, it rages on through Friday, I think, or Saturday. It goes through

Saturday, so these passes are good for, I think, or Saturday. It goes through Saturday. So these passes are good for, I think they're good for everything over there until the festival's over. I also have a T-shirt that we'll talk about in a second because it's from one of my guests. And I think that's everything. There might be one more thing in here if I can find it and then tell you about it.

Oh, there it is. It sinks to the bottom because it's a it looks like a magnetic bracelet that's got a Douglas Movies logo on it. It's very attractive and you could just wear it like this. You could just be like oh, look at that. That's nice.

See? It's nice. But no, it's also you can wrap it around the base of your bong and then stick your lighter in there and it'll keep your lighter right there. So that's from my friends at Bong Buds, B-U-D-Z. That's in the prize bag. And none of my guests have anything to do with that enterprise. Please give a big warm welcome to my friends Graham Elwood, Pete Lee, W. Kamau Bell, and Jim Gaffigan.

Thank you. Yeah, the throw them out there. Hello! Look out! Throw them your jacket. Throw the jacket. Come on! I did pretty... I did good this time, right?

That's pretty good. Pretty sweet lineup of fellas. All with snacks from backstage. They're so gracious with the snacks here at the Gramercy. Are you going to throw those into the audience? Yeah. Can I? Wait, wait, wait.

All right. Let me. Sorry. What are you gonna do? Do you wanna vine at Graham? No, no We could I just, you know

I don't wanna see chips get wasted Why would they get wasted If you threw them into the audience? Look at these goddamn savages They're gonna fucking eat it like cannibals On The Walking Dead or something Those chips have eights on them anyway Oh

Should I come in there? Let's do it Let's throw them into the crowd. Get ready, everybody. Guard your faces. Light up the crowd. That guy, see? He just stole it from a baby.

You know what I mean? There's a refugee baby over there that could have eaten and he doesn't care. The person that got that's gluten-free. Gluten-free. Here, I'm going to vine this. I just vined that same thing. I thought you were going to vine

W. Kamau Bell. Kamau, we call him. Throwing chips into the crowd. Alright, throw another bag of chips. Well, then he'd have to take Chip Gaffigan's chips. Which he is opening. Alright, throw another bag of chips I didn't come with lots of chip bags He'd have to take Chip Gaffigan's chips Which he is opening

And then throwing on the crowd Oh shit She caught one in her mouth She caught it in her mouth Oh, those are the ones with AIDS on it. That's how a headliner does it, everybody. That was actually less messy than

eating one Doritos Locos taco from Taco Bell. Alright, let's go down the line. That's Pete Lee, ladies and gentlemen. Pete Lee is here. He brought in a t-shirt that, if you have heard his stand-up comedy act, makes more sense than just to read it just cold. Do you worry that people that you sell it to or that have it

are going to have to explain why you would write, you look fat when you cry on a shirt? Yeah, I've actually had several people, when I say several, I mean three. I don't know if that's several, but they've said that they met their wife while they were wearing that shirt, and then the girl walked up to them and said,

what the hell is that? And then they fell in love. Because it's a good icebreaker to have to explain a shirt worn by a man that references fat women? Well, yeah, make sure they're not fat. I hope the audience knows that that's not where my heart was. You sounded like a Dana Carvey character when you said that. She's fat.

Isn't that special? See? I was right. Well, thank you for bringing that shirt. And, I mean, can you quickly do the bit? So people understand? Hey, do the bit. Do that thing.

Say something funny. Why don't you do your thing? Do it. Go ahead. He's funny. This guy. Do your fucking bit. I'm sick of getting... You're probably going to use us in one of your skits, aren't you? You don't seem that funny to me already. Don't do it. Don't do it.

Come on, go ahead. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. You don't have to do it. Don't do it.

Don't do it. Act it out. Mime it out. It happens to all of you, right? You get peer pressure from Jim Gaffigan, like, all the time. No, well, it's basically just like a tagline that like if somebody's being mean to me in my act then i'll say you look fat when you cry but like the reason why you should remember it is because it's not like offense you don't like say it to

somebody like offensively it's supposed to be a good comeback like a defense system because like somebody can be mean to you and then you'll be like you look fat when you cry and then they cry and then you get to say it again. Totally did it, Jim. That was good. That was good, I think. Can we give him a round of applause, huh? He's also in the service. Let's hear it for him, all right?

He's in the service. He knew it was good before he said it. He sells a shit ton of shirts. Well, I'm not criticizing it. People love this shirt, Jim. I like this shirt. What, did I come across as a dick or something? I mean, I am a dick, but I didn't mean to there.

I like that we get, Jim Gaffigan, everybody. I like that we I like that we get the darker version of you on this show. You know it is a podcast, right? This is a podcast. People will listen to it. So maybe, I don't know, less AIDS jokes maybe?

Hey, hey, you know what? It's real. If you can't deal with the truth, I know that you want to just gloss it over, but it's a real issue. Those chips had AIDS. it's a real issue that those chips had AIDS that's a real issue I'm just glad we give you that this show gives you a place to bring your AIDS humor because you can't normally talk about an old reference right we were talking about that backstage AIDS is becoming an old reference yeah there was some baby with AIDS that they cured baby AIDS. Right there. Right there on the spot.

Makes it really funny now. I don't even know. Is baby AIDS like HIV Junior? I mean, who's having sex with a baby and giving it AIDS? Wait, you just tested that on me. You laughed and I was like, alright. I feel so dirty.

If it can make it past him, it's okay. Jim Gaffney tested baby age jokes on me. If W looked at me like, then I wouldn't have said it. But you laughed, and I was like, all right, I'm safe. I feel bad. I was just being polite. You were just being polite. Oh, great.

Are you preparing to be on the... Are you preparing to be on the... Are you going to be on the Jesselnik Offensive? Have you seen that show? Like, the first segment is AIDS babies, let's go. And then it gets worse from there. Then it's people who fucked on a horse. He's my son. He's my son.

He's very funny, but I can't picture you on there. I mean, I can right now. But that's not what this is. Well, I can't picture you on there. I mean, I can right now, but that's not what this is. Why wouldn't I be on there? Because I think you have a reputation to protect. Because I'm a born-again Christian? Or what? I can't

imagine you, Jim, being on a television show that was a reverend. You don't swear at all in your comedy, right? I swear. You can't even do it here. You can't even do it here. AIDS is just not a swear word, so that's why you're throwing that around.

That's just God's pun. I can swear would you stop it it's not like every joke you say well every joke you do say is about pot but come on you should sell a t-shirt that says age is not a swear word are we all cliches aren't isn't there some complexity

maybe not isn't there come on come on oh not. Isn't there? Come on. Come on. Oh, that feels good. What are these, pimples on back there? Jim Gaffigan is handling W. Kamau Bell, ladies and gentlemen. Whose show, Totally Biased on FX,

not only got picked up for more, but more nights a week. That's my section right there. That's my people. And a little bit here. But mostly there. Is that weird for you to throw a bunch of chips into screaming white people?

Just people... You know, my eyes can see that there's not just white people? Just people... You know, my eyes can see that there's not just white people here, Doug. It would have been easier. That dude. Her. Okay, just those two. It would have been easier if they were crap.

Okay, right there. Black man. Miniature black power fist. Miniature black power fist. It's when there's too many white people around You can't go full I'm selling these after the show Miniature Black Power Fist I am so with you

I'm so tired of saying Do people tell you that we look like each other? I get that a lot I get that all the time People think that we're twins. When you guys walked in tonight, one behind the other, I thought you were

Russian nesting dolls. Well, I was carrying you to the baby set. Because one is a lot bigger. What? That is a fact. That is a fact. One of us is a lot bigger than the other one?

Yeah, right? Well, I don't know I mean, I don't know if you've seen it But it is bigger, probably Taller, taller, I meant Are you tall? How tall are you? 6'4 I'm more or less not that tall and

you brought a couple of albums I can say face full of flour but how do you say this one out loud it says one nigg only wow that really shut people down they don't know what to do I don't know what to do say it

one nigg only what's a nigg They don't know what to do I don't know what to do Say it One nig only See there you go What's a nig? It's a unit of measurement I don't Of racism I don't know what that is I mean it's like

It's a visual pun Which is hard But yeah The premise is If you're looking at the album It's like neon And the H and the T Dro out, just leaving a nigg behind. Which nobody wants a nigg left behind.

Like a New York City cab driver. Leaving niggs behind since the dawn of time. Oh, would you prefer AIDS jokes? Is that what you prefer? Sorry. Dude, Nick AIDS? Oh my God. Oh no. I'm ashamed of myself. Do not put my name with that

and a hashtag on Twitter. I do not want to be associated. Please do, please do. want to be associated. Please do. Please do. And Jim Gaffigan signed the Chips of Hoy. I made those. Chips of Hoy, I just

called them. They're good on boats. And Graham Elwood is here, everybody! Yay! Yay! Quite possibly has not been in a New York Douglas movie since the

epic drunk episode. Oh, yeah. Where I ordered everyone off the stage because they were all drunk and you were you because you weren't drunk. You were just being you. I was like, everyone get the fuck off the stage. I've got a show to wrap up.

Got serious. And I was drunk too. That's really weird. It's weird when you're drunk yelling at other drunks for being too drunk. That's like being in some white trash bar where they're arguing about something like, I do not use a shoehorn. Like it's this fucking crazy AIDS baby. And then they fight

and run out and hit each other in the head with cans of beer. You brought a copy of... Good night, thank you so much. I tried to move on, buddy. You brought a... And then there was one AIDS baby reference too many. There was never too many. It would be so awkward if there was an AIDS baby

in the audience. Who got up and walked out? Covered in the chips? Fuck this! That can talk coherently as an infant. Remember that movie with six you get AIDS baby? No, egg roll. So

that was one that was two too many AIDS baby references. I would go three. You brought a copy of Comedy Film Nerds, a book about comedy and film and nerds. Yeah, it's in the bag. Appropriately named. And you want to say anything else about it?

Yeah, Comedy Film Nerd Guide to Movies. It's available on Amazon and comedyfilmnerds.com. There it is. It's out. You go see lots of movies, Graham. What was the last movie you saw? I think I know the answer. You and I saw G.I. Joe yesterday.

Yeah, we did. Why are you fucking cheering? I'll cut off your hands for clapping at that movie. G.I. Junk. But at least it was $16 to watch it. G.I. Chip. I support the troops. I don't know about you guys.

G.I. Jingoism. You guys are, you know, letting the terrorists win. Go ahead. Are the troops even in that movie, Graham? No. I didn't understand any of it. It has nothing to do with any of that.

I like the ninjas hanging off the mountain, but none of them were any of the characters that were in the film. They just suddenly go to, now let's go to a cool ninjas hanging off a mountain sequence. What happened to Bruce Willis and Adrian Palicki? So wait a minute,

you saw a movie called G.I. Joe and you're disappointed at the storyline? G.I. Joe retaliation. Oh, retaliation. If.I. Joe Retaliation. Oh, Retaliation. If you don't mind. Okay. Yeah, we speak in full titles on this show. Alright, sorry. It's all good. Sorry. It's all good. Oh, you gotta plug my book, too.

I gotta? You have to. Let's try not to. Let's see if we can get through the whole show. Let's see if we can not mention it ever. Oh, that's alright. It's called My Dad is Fat. No, it through the whole show. Alright, alright. Let's see if we can not mention it ever. Oh, that's alright. It's called My Dad is Fat. No, it's Dad is Fat. Oh, okay. Dad is Fat.

I'm such a fuck-up. No, it's good. It's a good book. Everyone here is going to buy it, right? Yeah! You know what? If you buy it, I'll give you some chips. He will throw them at you. Or I'll throw them at you.

Yeah. Graham still has a bag. I'm waiting to see what's going to happen with that. Because he's not going to eat those. Those aren't gluten-free. Yes, they are, Doug. They are? You got some gluten-free lays down there? They're just fucking corn chips. They're zero-transfret, gluten-free,

no preservatives, all natural. Why would this thing lie? They're called deli rounds. Wow. So fancy. Those are good if you're at a deli. Yeah. Alright, well definitely. That's just like they make them at my deli. They make them rounds.

I don't care if you laugh. We'll sweeten them later. I love that you're doing Foley work right now. It doesn't sound like a bag of chips. It sounds like the theater's on fire. Go for the exit! Everyone's too high.

They're just going to sit and laugh until they're gone. They died doing what they loved. Dying in burning fire. But no more joking around about that because we are in a theater. But AIDS babies, let's keep that going. There are none here tonight.

None will get trampled if there's a panic. Four too many AIDS baby jokes. Keep a running tally, folks. Yeah, we'll go back to the tote board in a little while. What have you seen lately, Jim Gaffigan, movie-wise? Watch a lot of shit with your kids?

Well, I watched Cloud Atlas. You did? From beginning to end? I got all these screeners, and I saw that. So you had two hours and 45 minutes. Yes. Uninterrupted by life or family.

Yeah. Well, it was late at night. Okay. My wife and I watched it. Oh, together. Yeah, no, in separate rooms. I was in one room. I'm like, you watching?

She's like, I'm watching! And I'm like, all right, I'll keep watching. Let me know if you pause it. Hashtag mansion life. I live in a two-bedroom apartment with five kids, so it's not a mansion. No. I do.

No. I do. Why? That's inappropriate. You should get your kids to the other rooms. So I saw Silver Linings Playbook, too. And what else did I see? I saw Lincoln for the tenth time.

I love that. I wasn't really looking for a list as much as just a fun comment. In 1999 I saw a fun comment. In 1999, I saw a fun comment about the most recent, and Cloud Atlas is fascinating to me that you watched it all the way through. Why? Is it that bad?

People disparage it, but I enjoyed it. Well, I think it's those brothers, right? The crazy Wachowski. They're not brothers anymore. Well, they're brother-sister. They're siblings, the Wachowski siblings. I like their thinking. It's pretty interesting.

It's out there. All right. Okay. I guess this segment's over. I thought you'd have a lot more to say about a two-hour

and 45-minute movie with six different plot lines, most of which involve Halle Berry. It was an actor's fantasy, right? It's like you get to play all these... Yeah, it was.

But it seems like you just watch Tom Hanks and you're like, he's having a good time. Yes. I get to talk like this today. I will throw you off for the side of this balcony. Then the next day I get to talk like... And then at the side of this balcony. And then the next day, I get a talk like, oh, fuck it.

And then at the end of the movie, yeah, I knew that was that person. I knew that was that person. It is the reveal at the end of the movie. Everyone laughed. Did you see Cloud Atlas come out? I did see Cloud Atlas. And did you enjoy that part where they showed

all the characters that they played? Or did you get up and leave right away because that's what black people do in movies? Why? So wait, that whole thing was a setup for black people leaving movies. You did not actually care about what I thought about the movie. It fell in my lap.

It landed in front of me. Because I'm obsessed with it. I'm obsessed with, like, no matter what's happening, outtakes, more movie, the second you show a credit, every black person jumps up and leaves the theater. I'm thinking about leaving this early.

I should probably get going. I get it. I get how this is going to wrap up. Racism. Can I have your stool for my water? Yeah, white man. Yeah, take what you need. Can I have your stool for my water? Yeah, white man. Yeah, take what you need. Also, I have some questions about Django, so answer this one.

W. Kamau Bell, every white comic's black friend. How many phone calls I get, is this joke racist? Tell everybody the name of your movie review show that you did with Kevin Avery. Siskel and Negro. It's the greatest title of all time. Yeah.

So I knew you'd be great at this because you're a big movie fan. And in addition to Cloud Atlas, what have you seen lately? Have you been to the cinema or are you too busy? No, I've been to the cinema. I saw Oz, the Great and Powerful. How'd that work out for you?

Not very well. I'm not eight years old, so yes. 3D, the whole shot? 3D's a scam. It's the worst. It's the worst. 3D's a scam. Finally.

Yes, finally. Of all the things I've said in my career that's the one that gets applause stand up for yourselves we didn't land on 2D Malcolm X reference that's also an old reference for the record Jim nodded

yeah I thought that movie was... It never made sense to me for a second. No, I feel like James Franco, they need to give you a rating for if he actually gives a shit about the movie or not. Because sometimes he's great, but then sometimes it's like, ah, Green Goblin, you know.

And that brings us to Spring Breakers. Yes. Didn't see that. I want to see that one. He is brings us to Spring Breakers. Yes. Didn't see that? I want to see that one. He is really good in Spring Breakers. He's really good. It's a weird ass movie. And I felt like a complete creep watching it.

You know. You were talking about that back stage how you felt like a creep. You have a lot of creep moments. Yeah, I know. It's like, you know, it's all normal. Pete Lee!

Hi! What did you... That was the weakest. Nobody else is going to do it. I forgot to mention a couple of things about you. That you are on Best Week Ever, Friday nights on VH1,

and repeat it throughout the weekend whenever people are on their treadmill. Yes. It's perfect entertainment for that. Which you were on as well. What? I used to be, yeah, back in the day. And it wasn't even that long ago. But I was sad to see it come back, and then happy to see that ultimately it didn't bother me

that it came back. Like, if they had done a really shitty job with it and hired a bunch of people I hate, I'd be like, what the fuck? But I like it. That made you not hate me? No, I don't hate you. I've always liked you. You know that. You opened for me, like, years ago somewhere, and you were

playing way below your station. You should have been headlining at that point. And then we never worked together again. Yeah. Until today. I requested it. No, I'm kidding. I was emceeing, but I was supposed to feature, but you brought Rob Cantrell and then I got

bumped down and I was like, can I still sell t-shirts? Of course. And you sold a shit ton of that t-shirt that says you're fat when you cry. You're a fat fuck when you cry. Because they're green and your fans thought there was weed inside. Oh, that's smart. That's tactical.

And you just got the news today that you're going to be on The Late Show with David Letterman next Tuesday. Tuesday, yes. Yes. Yeah, he finally got the audience tickets that he requested. You're all coming with me. Yeah, everybody.

I'm going to put you on stage, so it'll be like, which one's Pete? Oh, but seriously, you guys, go get in line on Tuesday. Can you do that? Can you just get in line for Letterman, or do you have to sign up months in advance? Yeah, you can totally do that, Can you just get online for Letterman, or do you have to sign up months in advance? Yeah, you can totally do that, and I have no authority or knowledge. Yeah, just storm the place.

When they booked you for the show, they didn't give you how the audience gets in and all the requirements for... Yeah, I was like, do I have to wait with them and then go in? I don't know how this works. That's awesome. Congratulations. Thank you.

And have you been to the movies lately, or are you too busy working on your Letterman set I watched a movie called Look Who's Talking to AIDS Babies I thought of that one a minute ago no actually I watched This Is 40 I'm a big fan of

Judd Apatow I don't want you to boo me but that story had no story. Right? Like, do you agree with me? I was watching it, and, like, a movie is a series of conversations. But all I noticed is, like, now they're sitting down and having a conversation. And now they're in a car having a conversation. And now the little girls are having a conversation. Hey, they're at that same table again having a conversation.

It was the worst. I'll tell you what the story was. I'll tell you. It's like you're not getting hired on a Judd Apatow movie. I'll tell you the story. Here's the story. A couple is a little unhappy with how things are going in their lives

and they talk it over and feel a little bit better about it. And now that's the end of the movie, but then we'll probably feel like shit about it again in as soon as a day or a week or a couple of months.

It's about how hard life is, Pete. Do you know how we're kind of saying these things and we're not getting a whole lot of laughs? That's symbolic of that movie. People don't even want to enjoy talking about it, is what you're trying to say. Well, I agree. You are out of the

Apatow universe, and that includes really fun movies like Anchorman. So, congratulations. I know. If you guys ever, like, if you've ever tried meditation where you just clear your mind and it's just nothing, if you ever don't know how to do that, just rent that movie and then you'll get that experience.

You're like starting a comedy rap battle with Judd Apatow right now. Go forth, young man. Has anybody heard of Mark Brazil lately? Or even get the reference? I know who Mark Brazil is. Right? You remember that shit, right?

Yeah. Yeah. I wonder what he's up to Let me ask you guys one more quick question Before we play some games And it's this A gentleman wrote to me on Twitter today And I'm sure you all get this kind of stuff Being film buffs and comedians

On Twitter He just wrote to me, what's your top five Spielberg movies? And I wrote back, dude, I don't even really have time to think about it. But then, once he put that shit in my head, then I thought about it.

Because it's more fun to think about than stuff you need to get done. And so I devised, I don't even have, in no specific order, I have a top five Spielberg movies. But do you guys even have like a... Are we talking about Steven Spielberg?

Yes. That's the one, Jim. I wasn't sure. Okay. Not Bob. Not Bob Spielberg, right? Huh? Not Bob Spielberg? No, just Steven. All right, because he's got some good ones, too. They're mostly home movies, but yeah.

Steven Jedediah Spielberg. Jedediah. And these are movies he made, right? Yeah. Okay, all right. I mean, you could go into movies he produced. Not the movies he owns. You could go into stuff he produced if you're, you know, really into the burbs.

Or the cuties. What is that, Slavic? Or young Sherlock Holmes. Applause for all of those. That's awesome. There's somebody out there for every movie. Let's see. Applaud if you're the person.

If you are the person who enjoys Steven Spielberg's hook. What? A lot of people. Wait a minute. A lot of people. You like it too? Hold on. Hook, hook, hook, hook, hook, hook.

What the fuck are you doing? What is going on? Rufio, Rufio, Rufio! Rufio! Let's all leave! How are you going to put down a hook? There's no way you're that excited. All of you are that excited about it. No way.

That's amazing. That's amazing. Because it's a good movie. That's amazing. It's a great movie. The fact that Rufio didn't go on to become one of the biggest stars in Hollywood is only proof of racism.

That's all it is. Dustin Hoffman is a villain in a Steven Spielberg movie and doesn't get any award. It was not recognized at its time. But I guess you guys know better. And I'm going to re-watch it and tell you how wrong you are.

I'm going to write an essay and put it on a bottle and send it to Kevin Costner. Do you guys like AI? Okay, because if you all liked AI, I was going to fucking set this theater on fire. Graham, don't sprinkle your chips again. No, it's...

That sounded very Southern. Don't sprinkle your chips, Graham. Don't wrinkle your chips, Graham. Why does Southern sound vaguely black? You will give me the vapors if you wrinkle your chips. Is that southern? I don't know what that was. Or is that a racist accent?

It's very racist. I apologize. I'm terrible that way. It's like when I have a dwarf on the show. There's no reason to finish that. I bet dwarves on this show. How crazy is that? What's going on with

the chips, Jim? Nothing. I'm just eating. Thank you, Jim. I'm really regretting throwing those chips. Those are the worst of the three bags of chips. Yeah, these are like... Those need something on them. Those were Doritos that I threw. Doritos send me money.

It's good. These are good. You want one? You can't have any. I think we've fallen way behind schedule. I was going to give these chips to the crowd until they fucking cheered for Hook. Yeah. You know what you did?

Oh, yeah. Way to fucking sell out. That was beautiful. Someone needs to be liked. Yes. Five days a week starting this fall on FXX. So like I was saying, we've fallen terribly behind schedule because I've been having so much fun.

Thanks for coming, you guys. So I got to just quickly... I brought up Spielberg. We should finish it, I guess. Does everybody have a favorite Spielberg movie? What's your favorite, Graham? I know it's not A.I. I'd probably go E.T. Okay. Less than hook!

Go fuck yourselves! Go fuck yourselves! Go fuck yourselves! Jim, what do you think is the best Spielberg movie? You haven't been in any, have you? Steve Spielberg. Yeah. Have you been in any of his motion pictures?

You know what? I should get him on the phone right now. No, I loved Lincoln. I watched it like ten times. I like Lincoln a lot, too. I watched some of it on a plane again the other day. And I just, I don't know. I find it really fascinating.

But I could see where... Where... I could see where some people would find it boring. Oh, absolutely. I could totally see it. But I'm fascinated by it. It's not an entertainment. It's...

Yeah, it's like, you know, they're going to show it to kids in high school. And they're all all gonna roll their eyes like oh this bullshit and I'm like these are like a lot of my most favorite actors all just running around in crazy wigs and you know fighting for something important you really should have gone a Tarantino direction

and not freed the slaves at the end wouldn't that have been amazing if at the end of Lincoln I guess we're just not gonna do it in the credits roll that would have been amazing that was the problem with that, I guess we're just not going to do it, and the credits roll? That would have been amazing. That was the problem with that movie. You kind of knew how it was going to work out.

Because you're sitting next to black people in the theater. Well, Lincoln is kind of black on the penny. Copper, yeah, copper. It just came out of me and I regretted it. Copper is very... Beyonce's copper, right? I don't think that Kamau is going to be my friend anymore. I'm going to delete you on Facebook right now. I was going to say something else terrible,

so let's move on. These are amazing. They're so good. terrible, so let's move on. These are amazing. They're so good. They're like the hook of chips. Do you want a chip? Might be my friend. I mean, you guys know Julia Roberts is in that, right?

You still like it. At the height of her powers, yes. She gets turned down. She gets turned down. That's why you're fighting hard for hope. She got turned down. It's like Mr. Pizza, but on a boat. Nice catch, nice catch.

Tip your weights after working very hard for it. Tinkerbell knows that she's like this big, right? And that she's trying to get some human dick. She knows that she's really got a lot of mountains to conquer Most specifically That dick Oh who wants that human dick

Yeah Get on it Tinkerbell I feel like she could just do fairy dust And make it smaller for her Fairy dust Doesn't Tinkerbell have fairy dust? Yeah, but how's that going to help her have sex with him if she sprinkles fairy dust on him?

That's a gay slam right there. She'd make it the perfect size. Like, my wife lies to me and says, mine is, and then she would... Alright, I'm going to stop talking. Kamau, what's your favorite Spielberg movie? I feel like I need to pull up IMDb. I'm having a hard time thinking of a lot more.

I guess Amistad. I've never seen it, but I assume I would like it. Seems like a safe answer. Well, how do you feel about, like, you know, boating adventures? I'm good with it. Yeah. So, like, did you like Life of Pi? I haven't seen Life of Pi.

I saw that. Because Amistad is Life of Pi without a tiger. Or Master and Commander. Okay, forget it. What? What'd forget it. What? What'd you say? What'd you say? What movie was terrible?

Master and Commander? Oh, thank God someone's finally spoken out against it. Yeah, I know. More importantly, are you holding a pizza right now? Oh, that might be the name tag you picked, Jim. Because we're coming dangerously close to that might be the name tag you picked, Jim. Because we're coming dangerously close to that part of the show where we will select some name tags,

but I'm dying to know what Pete Lee thinks is the greatest Spielberg movie. I was going to say E.T., but because Jim's from Indiana, Indiana Jones. That's fun. Thank you. You know what?

How you doing? I appreciate it. I didn't know I was going to cry. I wish that he made a movie that was called Indiana Jones, but that answer is incorrect, so I'm going to have to dock you a point, even though we're not playing yet. No, him and George Lucas did that together.

Yeah. Raiders of the Lost Ark? Yeah. There's George Lucas did that together. Yeah. Raiders of Lost Ark? Yeah. That's what you meant. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I figured some of those people would jump in on that one. You think it's Jaws?

What? He's made so many good ones. Is it him or is it like the Shakespeare thing? Who the fuck said Goonies? Kick this guy out. Kick this guy out right now. Schindler's List. Schindler's List.

Who? Schindler's List. It's no hook. That's true. That's actually very true. We're not opening the floor to favorite Spielberg movies. The Flintstones. Jurassic Park, because that shit was real.

That's the appropriate applause. I don't know. I like it all right. Are you guys going to go see it in 3D? All right, let me know Tweet at me how it was Let me know if the dinosaurs seemed like they were coming at you I'm pretty sure they stay in the screen the whole time

Is that your favorite though Jurassic Park? I love Jurassic Park Only one person made my list Two people Jurassic Park. Only one person made my list. Two people. In no particular order, my Spielberg top five are 1941, Raiders of the Lost Ark,

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Catch Me If You Can, and Lincoln. It's a weird list, right? 1941. That's a good pick. I like that. It's a sleeper book. I like 1941. It's nuts.

It's just a movie where from beginning to end, everyone's like, They're all just panicked the entire time. And I think when it came out, everyone was just like, What the fuck? Why has everyone just flipped out? Because they were all on cocaine. Yeah, but they also thought that they're... They always thought they were about to be attacked.

And it's insanely racist and really good fun. Really good fun. For the people not watching the video podcast, Pete Lee looked at me. I heard racist and I was like, I'm going to pass the ball to you. Yeah. Bounce fast because I'm white.

Hey, Jim. You're in a movie called Kill a Manjaro? Yes, I was. What is that? I have no idea. Is it the sequel to Jumanji? It actually is.

No, it's an indie that I did that I shot here in Manhattan. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, it's in IMDB, and I was just looking at it because IMDB what? It was at South by Southwest. You don't mind if I eat while I talk to you?

Not at all. When you're out in L.A., you've got to come on Dining with Doug and Karen sometimes. Yeah. All you guys do, yeah. It's fun. Okay, so let the games begin. We're going to try to fly through some games here.

We spent a lot of time on the chat portion, and so let me double check and make sure that Gramercy is cool with us going to midnight. Midnight? Cool. All right, let's tear it up. The bars are open, you guys. Yeah. And I don't know why I'm looking at my phone,

because this game is written down. Piece of paper. Old school style. All right, so we'll start down on the opposite end there with Graham, because he's the most familiar with everything. And then we'll go to Jim, who's been on the show. This is your second time, Jim? I don't know.

But I know nothing. And then our two newbies here on the end, who I'm very happy to have here. This particular game is called How Much Did This Make? There's no reason to be insulting. But Jim Gaffigan, you were in a motion picture called The Love Guru. No judgment here.

It was a job. I think, I believe I even remember you being funny in it. And we'll start with Graham. Everyone has to guess how much movie did this money make? Money make, money make. How much did it make at the North American box office according to boxofficemojo.com? And it's close without going over, right?

Yes. Price is right style. Next up is Plinko. I will go with $13 million. Oh, that is a guess. Oh, that is a guess. Mr. Gaffigan? We're talking domestic.

What'd you say, Graham? I said $13 million, Doug. Is that American currency? That is American currency, Jim Gaffigan. Yes, it is. What do you think, Jim? I'm going to say 7.8 million. Come on.

Come on. What? Did you have fun making it? Yeah, it was a good time. Shot it in Canada I'm guessing No I shot it here Right here in this building No I don't know

You're like a skating coach in it No I'm an announcer Me and Stephen Colbert are announcers Oh you announced the skating The game, the hockey game So I was close A lot of people would have guessed that you had something to do with a guru

or love but that had hockey in it can I change my guess do you think that was where they went wrong a movie with hockey in it because I love movies with hockey in it I don't know I read the script

I didn't see it, the movie. But he was a delight to work with. Oh, the nicest guy, right? Yeah, he was really nice. I feel bad that went so badly because I just think he just had an off movie and he should do another one. Yeah.

That's my feeling. How much do you think it made? 11 million. Okay. Kamau, what do you think? I'm going to take Jim's first guess, 7.8 million. Just felt like he maybe, that was actually, he had insider knowledge. Yeah, maybe he, you know he really kept close track of it.

That's so racist. Totally knows. Everything is. What was Graham's? What was yours? $13 million was my bid. What do you think, Pete? We have 7.8, 11, and 13.

I'm going 13.1. Oh! You 7.8, 11, and 13. I'm going 13.1. Oh! You fucking $1 Price is Right bidding motherfucker. And that would make you our winner because... It made $32.2 million. Yeah, karate punches, yeah. It had an opening weekend of almost 20, I think. It came out of the gate pretty good.

Wow. The old tricked you 20 million. Maybe 12 million. I don't know. Don't quote me on that. Let's play our next game. But since Pete is our winner, we'll start with you, Pete. And then we'll go to Kamau and then Jim and Graham.

And this is a little round of what I like to call ABCD's Nuts. This is where we are going to spell an expression that I have chosen ahead of time. Your next letter will be the next letter in this expression.

All you've got to do is name a movie that begins with the same letter. The counts as T. You can't drop the the. And you have a few seconds to think of your answer. And if you match what I've written down prior to the show, you automatically win.

And not to brag, but Colin Quinn and I matched on Amistad. Any movie that begins with the letter A, and he picked the same one that I did, and it was that one. So, I don't know what that means. So we'll start with you, and we're going to spell tonight, in honor of Totally Biased, we're going to spell Totally Biased. Aw, thanks. to spell tonight in honor of Totally Biased. We're going to spell Totally Biased. Thanks. I still don't understand how this works.

You'll get it in a second. And wait, for tease, I can go with a the movie? Yeah, you can. If you want to be a pussy about it. No, I'm going with the movie that I smoked a drug cigarette and I cried my eyes out in Ramada Inn.

This is boarding. The Notebook. The Notebook is a terrific answer. I went with Three Kings featuring Jim Gaffigan as king number two. I was king number two. I love that movie, man. I think I've told you this before.

Yeah, it's a great movie. It's so good. It's awesome. Were you there for any David O. Russell outbursts that were inappropriate? I was there when there was a little bit of a... When Clooney and him went at it? I was on a helicopter. I was flying a helicopter.

And, you know, saving some villagers. They were Asian. Anyway. No, I... They were good people. They were third world people.

I'll let them know at the minority meeting. Who do you like better, me or Jim? He thinks I'm being serious. But what were we talking about? Three Kings, great movie. Oh, Three Kings, it was fun. Yeah, I was sitting on a helicopter

and everyone started running and there was a fight. So you saw the scurrying? I saw it break up. It's a scurrying aftermath? I saw it break up. Yeah, okay. I saw it break up. It's a good story, right? I love it.

Probably that should be made into a movie. But talk about turning shit around, because he had that incidence on that movie, and then he also had on Huckabees. I Heart Huckabees. There was that whole thing with Lily Tomlin, Dustin Hoffman. But, you know, in retrospect, he was probably just yelling at them because they're a couple of dumb

old actors. Oh! I know you guys love Hook. Don't make fun of any actor in Hook, you guys. This crowd will lose his shit. Or anyone from nine to five. I love Lily Tomlin and Dustin Hoffman, but I just think it's funny that David O. Russell

now is like actors De Niro and Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence all fucking love him and it was the opposite of outbursts on the set it was like they all just fucking fucked each other I don't know if they did that

but yeah no I mean I didn't know if they did that. But yeah, no, I mean, I didn't have a problem with him. I'm very easy to work with. No, I don't know. I don't know. It's weird. It's like also there's just stuff that gets out and there's probably stuff that didn't get out, like back in the day, right? I think he's mellowed, I think is what's happened.

But, you know. God bless him. Your letter, Kamau, is O. So you just name any movie that begins with the letter O. And maybe we'll match. I doubt it. Can I say Oz the Great and Powerful? Yeah, you can. Oh, that was a good one.

The whole time I was going, I hope that's okay. I hope I'm right. I'm so confused. No, that's perfect. I went with One Night at McCool's. So close. Which is set in St. Louis, where I will be at the Firebird on May 4th. Wow, that's great. When would this, because I'm going to be in San Diego in July

at the Humphreys by the Bay in July. I think it's July 5th or 6th. Not to be confused with my Pechanga date, which is in Temecula, California. And then I'm heading up north. I'm going to be... I tell you what, Jim, any city that I mention, feel free to tell us that you're going to be there soon.

Yeah, that's great. And you'll probably be right. Yes. Your letter is T. I'm about to win this game right now. Totally biased. T. Terminator.

We just went through this a couple days ago. Wait a minute. I did this wrong last time, didn't I? Full title. We need the full title. Full title. All right. Wait a minute. I did this wrong last time, didn't I? Full title. We need the full title. Full title. All right. Fucking weirdo.

Full title. Full title. Full title. Full title of Terminator. What other words could you put on there? The Terminator? Yes. Are you...

Oh, my God. There was... It's like nerd camp here. He didn't say the. Let's whip him with our nerd team. Graham was there. Graham can back me up on this. There was legitimately an argument

about whether or not it was The Terminator or just Terminator. It's amazing. That was in Portland, I think. I went with Tiny Furniture. Not The Tiny Furniture. Okay, we're back to, or we're down

to Graham with the letter A. And Justice for All. I think that's I think you got A the other night and said that same thing. That's my go-to A. It's your go-to. I went with Away We Go featuring Jim Gaffigan. Oh, yes.

That's great. I was the away. Did you enjoy making that motion picture? I did. That was a great time. While you were making it, were you like, this guy's going to direct a James Bond movie? I was thinking that.

But he was great. He was a really good guy. He's made like four or five movies and they're all a completely different kind of tone to them. Yeah, he directs opera. What? Yeah, all those British directors, they do everything.

Jesus. Makes me sick. It's amazing. What just happened? L to Pete. Is this a panic attack? L. L. Lost in translation.

Lost in translation lost in translation oh very good very good that's totally what it's like in Japan I went with it's totally like that I went there and it's totally like that that movie is so

I went with we're rich white People from America? That's what the movie was, right? All right. I like him better now. Me too. I went with Little Miss Sunshine, which was shot in Arizona,

and I'll be in Phoenix on Saturday, April 13th at Stand Up Live. I'm going to be in Phoenix doing a casino in July. I think it might be like Littlefoot or something like that. I don't know. Look it up. Also in Tucson at a casino in July.

I think you're at the Hot Toe Casino. I don't know. Littlefoot? I don't know. It's like Crazy Stick. I'm not kidding. It's like the name of it. Go to my website. Jim Gaffigan.com But you know what? If you buy my book

it's a good... If you buy my book don't worry because I'm going to have a lot of different material that's in my book that you can get at Amazon or Barnes & Noble. Of all the comics on the stage that need plugs. No, it's interesting.

I don't want to plug my book too much because it's coming out May 7th and it is right before Mother's Day and then of course a month later is Father's Day. But you know what? Are you saying this part...

You can't cut this part out, can you? Is this book perfect for dads and grads? It would be good for dads or grads, but also for moms. Also your dads. Your mothers against drunk driving would like this book. For moms.

You know what I mean? And it's also a great beach book. If you're going to the beach and you need something to read and you want people to think you look smart, I'd grab my book. Oh yeah, and they're like, what are you reading? And they go, oh, Dad, it's fat.

I heard that guy. I heard him on Doug Loves Movies. You listen to Doug Loves Movies? That conversation is not going to happen on a beach. I think that's how it'll go down. You listen to Doug Loves Movies? Would you like to make love? That's how I met my wife.

All right, we have the second L for Kamau to come up with an L title The second best romantic comedy of all time, Love Actually What's number one? When Harry Met Sally What's that? What's the first one?

You said that very matter-of-factly even though that movie is stolen from other movies What's that? When Harry Met Sally Dude, you just lost your crowd in your podcast though that movie is stolen from other movies. What's that? When Harry Met Sally. Dude, you just lost your crowd in your podcast. I don't know how I lost a New York crowd talking about Woody Allen.

Oh, I guess I did. I just saw Annie Hall again recently and it's almost fucking perfect. If he didn't like stick it into his own stepdaughter, he would be really respected still. And if he put Billy Crystal in it,

then it would be really... If he what? If it had Billy Crystal in it, then Annie Hall would be perfect. One clap, one clap. We found him, the black Billy Crystal fan. Some burning stereotypes, that's what I'm all about. Wow, I'm burning.

He is a funny dude. What movie did you say? Love Actually. Love Actually, okay. That's like a chick flick, Christmas flick that a lot of dudes actually can tolerate. Not real dudes. Not real men. up Graham again why I like to attribute it to the wrong person it's fun why oh my L was legally blonde which

was filmed in New England and I'll be at the Brighton Music Hall in Boston on May 18th. It's interesting, New England. I will be in Detroit in August. But, you know, Detroit is not far from Chicago, where I'll have

four shows, April 19th and 20th. Do you think this will air before that? Oh, yeah, 420 with Jim Gaffigan. He'll talk about bacon. Yeah, we're going to do that. We're going to smoke some bacon. You should do all food humor on 420. There's the Bacon Fest in Chicago that same weekend.

Oh, that's perfectly timed. Yeah. Your letter is Y, Jim. Y. Y. Do you want the full title? Um. Uh.

Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Ah. Young Frankenstein? Did I appear smart? Did I appear like I know a lot about comedy movies?

That was an excellent choice. I went with Yellow-Faced Tiger. I don't know what that is, but it was set in San Francisco, where I'll be at Cobb's. I'll be at 4, mentioned April 19th and 20th. That's so weird, because the Mountain Winery is near San Francisco, and I'll be there in July.

And also in Freon, California. And also in Sacramento. That's so weird, because in Sacramento they have televisions, and I'll be on TV starting May 9th. Until he dies. That's totally weird. And what time is that at?

11 p.m. That's perfect. That's the perfect time to sit down. FX. I watch it. I love it. It's so good. Can we give him a round of applause? I like those commercials too.

Anyway, back to your show, Doug. Gram your letter. Thank you. Gram your letter as B. Big Trouble in Little China. I will be doing the Shanghai Funny Bone July 3 through 7. July 3 through 7 July 3 through 7 yeah they don't celebrate the fourth so you fucking clean up as a comic they love you we're probably the

only country that celebrates the fourth yeah it's chance. Your letter was B, and I chose Bronco Billy, which was filmed in Idaho, and I'll be in Boise on May 11th at the Knitting Factory. Oh my gosh, I'm going to be in Boise also on late July sometime. Just go to my website.

And you know what they have in Boise? Televisions. You can go to my website. And you know what they have at Boise? Televisions. You can go to my show on Boise, get home, and still watch Totally Biased. It's pretty amazing. For free, no extra charge. It's amazing. All the shit we do, they can be home by 11.

This show tonight, you guys, if Totally Biased was on tonight, you'd be set. Oh, you can go watch Dress on the Convensive at 10.30. I don't know who's on this week, but I like those guys. Or ladies.

I, Pete Lee. Inception. Oh. I should have, I should have, I should have tried to do some suspense. No, I like the way you're moving it along. What Jim did was amazing, and I was just like, title!

Should have been like drumroll. Everybody has their own way. And I went with, it's kind of a funny story, featuring Jim Gaffigan. I was in that. I've seen that movie, that was great. I was in that, I played the dad. Okay, Kamau, you have the letter. A.

Anger Management. Which is also a television show on FX. Starring Charlie Sheen, who I've never met. Team player. That's right. You don't get five days a week without sucking a few Charlie Sheen dicks. That's all I'm trying to say

A few, a few Because he has more than one I picked Anchorman The Legend of Ron Burgundy Which took place in San Diego Where I'll be on April 7th At the American Comedy Company What city is that?

San Diego That's right, I'll be there at Humphreys. I remembered that. I think you mentioned that one already. I did mention that. Double pump. San Diego, great place to jump off to Shanghai to see me July 3 through 7. How far is San Diego from Anaheim where I'll be on July 15th, I think.

San Diego to Anaheim? Yeah. About 90 minutes. Good, because I'm doing two shows in Anaheim. I feel bad, Pete. Do you not do anything? Do you have any dates coming up? Do you have any...

Is it Letterman to be retired? I feel like I bragged too much earlier. No. He's been on Letterman like 25 times. You can go more than once I know but I have hair oh snap Jim Gaffigan I just was in your face

I don't care he's like I'm rich Jim has hair I don't have a lot of it I wouldn't have said that but you said it before the show. You were ripping on yourself. I know. So you took his weakness and then...

Have you been around human beings before? Well, she called herself fat, so I called her fat. Oh, so you're touring with Mencia? Wow, Graham, that was crazy Well, he had it coming Settle down, Graham We gotta go to Jim Gaffigan, letter S S You can do it

No, I can't. The sun also rises. What's wrong with that? Oh, alright. You're out. You're out. You're out. But his suspense was amazing.

It also doesn't matter, really, that you're out. But his suspense was amazing. It also doesn't matter, really, that you're out. You could have gone with a movie you were in called 17 Again. Yes. I liked that movie a lot. You did? Yeah, you're great in it.

You have to play the gym coach, the basketball coach, at two different... You play them at two different ages. I did. You have to play the gym coach, the basketball coach. It's actually myself. You play them at two different ages. I did. 15 years apart or 20 years apart. It was a lot of concentrating. I played me with a redder beard and then with a grayer beard.

Well, you did a great job in it. Thank you. Graham's letter is E. Elvis, The Way It Is. Documentary about him on the road right before he died. And we will be in Nashville to see it. You know, it's interesting.

Elvis, I was thinking of Vegas where I'm going to be in. I went with Existence, which took place in Toronto where I will be on June 1st and back to Pete for the last letter D the only fallen soldier is Jim Gaffigan

first of all I want to say that I think that my smack talk about Jim's hair really, it got under his skin and that's why he's out. So in your face, Gaffigan. I'm going with the movie Dogma. I went with Dan in Real Life, which is set in Rhode Island and I'll be in I'll be in the feet ballroom in Providence on May 18th.

That's ABCD's Nuts. That's perfect. Let's quickly get into the Leonard Maltin game. And to do that, we need to see some name tags. Oh, wow. And each of you go out and select the name tag you'd like to be playing for. Spuds McKenzie's been in the

front row of every show except for one. He's always there. First in line. And Jim grabbed it. Jim took him up on it. Is that the first time it's been picked? First time. That's exciting.

Paul. Paul. Paul is his name. Oh, I like what Kamau picked. Graham is still looking around. There's a lot of great name tags out there. There's Hillary's Peeps. I'd like to eat one of those Peeps. I would like to take this time

to say that I'm sorry to Jim Gaffigan. What I said was hurtful and it was cheap and I'm sorry. Don't worry about it. Believe me, people get bumped from Letterman all the time. Wow. That's literally one phone call.

That's one phone call. That's wonderful. I almost picked snakes on a bane because that was really cool. But then I went with the Boba Fett helmet because it's fucking bad. Yeah, put it on. Does it fit on your head?

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's good. And can we still hear you?, yeah. That's good. Can we still hear you? I'm Gotham's record. It just makes your voice change. I don't know. Who's the name on that thing?

The name on that is Billy Fett. Nicely done, Billy Fett. I love his shithead. That's a good one. Who are you playing for, Jim? Are you in the middle of a call or something? I'm doing an Instagram. I'm playing for Paul.

Good job, Paul. And he made a... He brought us Bud's McKenzie. That's an old-ass reference. Doll, I guess you'd call it. Stuffed animal. Companion. He's a friend.

And he put Paul on it. I mean, there's nothing wrong with a grown man having a stuffed animal. You know? Yeah. I'm coming to every Doug Loves Movies and sitting right up front. It's totally, it's normal behavior, Paul. I love you.

What do you got, Kamau? Wreck-It Diana. Wreck-It Diana. Because I wanted to have white hands and see what that was like. Yeah, you got two big white fists. And you still managed to hold your microphone between them. That's amazing.

That's a serious statement. So then hold it up and do the white power fist. No. If he did that, he'll drop the microphone. So he'll say that right after a really good snap. And it makes noise. What? It makes noise.

What makes noise? The hands? These are like Hulk hands. If you tap them, they make noises? What makes noise? The hands? These are like Hulk hands. If you tap them, they make noises? You want me to hold you? We gotta hear it. Stop making noise. He keeps punching Pete Lee. Ow! Ow! There's nothing. You have to hit from the bottom.

Like Hulk hands. Like Hulk hands. That guy just explained. You know, like Hulk hands. Get your shit together with your Hulk hands on. This is like behind the scenes footage with... What's his name? This is April Fool's Jake that's joked it's a day late. This is April Fool's Jake.

All shit. He just changed name tags. We have a name tag change, ladies and gentlemen. That has never happened here at Dog Loaf Movies. We have a name tag change. I was fine with it until all the yelling and... Oh, he's disappointing us. He doesn't know how to use the hands.

Oh, Diana is out. Who do we have now? You gotta wonder what's going through their head right now. Viv Business. Viv? Viv. Viv Business.

Keira Knightley. It says something on the back. That's a shithead. If she loses tonight or if you lose tonight on your and her behalf, I will read that. It's a good one. I will call that person a shithead. If she loses tonight, or if you lose tonight, on your and her behalf, I will read that.

I will call that person a shithead. Oh, good. I hope you lose. That might be the case with every name tag. Jim is looking in his dog's butthole. Delicious. Just to make sure. Is there a shithead on the back of yours, Pete?

A shithead? Don't read it out loud And who are you playing for, Pete? I'm playing for Alyssa She made her own Star Wars dress Which I think is very great Yes, stand up, please Give her a round of applause

Is that made from Star Wars bed sheets From Graham Elwood's bed? Those people are weird. That's what that looks like. How did you get a hold of those? Oh, this is kind of a crazy night. All right. So her name is Alyssa.

Thank you, Alyssa. And thank you, Pete. And who won that? Nobody really won that last game. Jim got knocked out. I won. Jim got knocked out but let's we'll start with Graham

and then move across towards me to give the two fellas that are new to the game a chance to although Pete's listened to the show. Let's start with Graham and go to Pete then we'll go to Kamau. Hopefully this will make sense. There's start with Graham and go to Pete. Then we'll go to Kamau. And hopefully this will make sense. There's been a lot of debate

on the internet about whether or not my guests should know how to play the games before they get here. And my argument is why the fuck, you know, like I'm happy that they're here. Why should they have to learn that shit? And just listening to one episode might not even be enough.

And people are like, you should write it down and give it to them. Oh yeah, that's a good idea. Give a page of instructions to comedians before they come on the show. This kind of talk is upsetting the dog. Spuds doesn't like this kind of negative energy?

Alright, I will make it very positive and just say that the point is to have fun, and if they don't understand how the games work let's just laugh at them and with them she just said Graham's good at explaining it yeah just cause that one time

he yelled at Colin Quinn who Colin Quinn is like he's been around game shows. He got it really much faster. You've heard guests that won't get it that fast. And you know who they are. I'm not going to name names. But the whole point is to just have fun.

Put the hands back on. Put the hands back on. Somebody just yelled. That's what lost you hand privileges last time. All the instructions. Oh my god. Hand privileges. Put your hands on me.

Okay. What did we say we were going to do? We're going to start with Graham? Yeah. Okay. You get to pick a category, Graham. I'll give you three categories you haven't heard yet. At in the glass hole on Twitter suggested Boba Fetish.

Oh, shit! Yeah. And that's movies that have bounty hunters in them. Oh. Because, of course, that's what Boba was. That category is your destiny. At J. Onrate, O-N-R-A-I-T, suggested, based on something that happened to me today

that I tweeted about, he suggested steaks on a train. And that's movies that have a dining car scene in them on a train. Oh. And at all... Are you allowed to Google? What are you doing there?

He's cheating. He's cheating. He's still trying are you doing there? He's cheating. He's still trying to take a photo. He's cheating. I'm not a tattler, but he's cheating. I'm not Sam Levine. The dog says he's cheating too. What did he say? Or your third option.

At Alana Alana Alana A-H underscore lawn underscore A-H suggested Dolphin

Lundgren. And that's movies with Dolph Lundgren, a dolphin, or both? As great as that last category is, and I know all the Dolph Lundgren movies that have ever been made. Yeah, this guy in the second row. Time to take off. Alright, good luck, buddy.

Because I picked the Boba Fett helmet I gotta go Boba Fett-ish let's fucking do it alright, Boba Fett-ish this movie has a bounty hunter in it Leonard Moulton gives it three and a half stars the year is 2007 Leonard calls it

a crackling tale yeah and he also says about this movie that it won some Academy Awards. And it features a bounty hunter, and Leonard lists 13 names. So now Graham Elwood gets to tell me how many names,

reading from the bottom of the cast list up, of those 13 names, he can get this movie in. He can discern this movie in the category Boba Fetish. Stop playing with spuds

and tell me a number. Alright, ten. Ten names. He says Pete Lee. You can go less. You can say name it. I'm going to say... I'm going to go conservative because I know what the movie is

but I can't think of the title. I'm serious. I have it in my head. Okay, poker face. Poker mouth, I meant. That's what I call people that tell the next person in line where they stand. Okay, I'm going six. Unless I call people that tell the next person in line where they stand.

Okay, I'm going six. Unless you're lying, unless you're strategizing. All right, now you're going to come out, and you can bid, like, less names or ask Pete to name it. If he fails to name it after you ask him to name it, you get a point. If he names it, he gets the point. If you bid less, then Jim might bid less than you or ask you to name it. Name it. See how fast he picked up on that?

All right. Some people are better at it than others. I swear to you, right when you said name it, it popped into my head. I hope I'm right. You're the worst. Alright, so you get... How many names do you get? I get

six. Don't lie to me. Six. Alright, I'll give you the six names. Okay. And then you tell me what the name of the movie is that just popped into your head. The six names are Gene Jones, Beth Grant, Anna Reeder,

Roger Boyce, Stephen Root, and Barry Corbin. What do you think the movie is? I don't know any of those people. Do I just name them? But you still might get it right

just based on the clues. True Grit. Oh! 2007? Shut up, Grant. Was it re-released? No Country for Old Men! Yeah!

I'll put on a hand for that. Yeah, with... No, I'm still playing for this person. With Javier Bardem as, you know, I'll put on a hand for that Yeah with No I'm still playing for this person With Javier Bardem as You know serial killer Bounty hunter Anton Chigurh What did you call me? Shut up Anton

I gotta leave soon anyway Do you really? Cause I'm black. But did you just get a point? Yes. Yeah! See, this game isn't racist. I was never accused of it being racist.

That means we're going to start with Jim. Alright. You ready, Jim? Are you ready? Yeah. And then we come back around. We'll go to Kamau after Jim, so get ready. And you get to pick a category, Jim. Would you like at Matt Drury

D-R-U-R-Y 1 suggested... Oh, he's here? Holy shit. Here's your dumb category you suggested. Chariots of Firecrotch. And that's movies where Lindsay Lohan is in a car. You did it! Also, celebrating a birthday today,

the great Sir Alec Guinness, so the films of Alec Guinness, or at the Unreal MC suggested Right to Bear Small Arms, which is movies that has a Tyrannosaurus Rex in them. We're out of time. All right, I'll do that guy's one. Chariots of Firecrouch?

Yes. All right, this is movies where Lindsay Lohan is in a car for some reason. I'd imagine it's most of her movies. Maybe not in Prairie Home Companion. Would you like a Lindsay Lohan movie from 2005 or 2004? You get to narrow it down further. What does Spud say? He says 2004. Four. Here we go. Leonard Maltin gives this movie

two and a half stars. It's from 2004 and he says that it is that it reverts to formula but is still a cut above the norm. Yeah. He also says that it has sharp, funny moments.

And he lists 12 names. Yeah, 12 names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Jim Gaffigan? Oh, let me... Just discussing it with Spuds McKenzie. Can it be 13 names? How many can I say?

I can name it. You can start at 12. You can get all the names. I'm going to name it in five. Okay. I think get all the names. I'm going to name it in five. Okay. I think Spuds is drunk. You think we can do it? People think

I'm crazy, but the dog says. All right. Well, we go to Kamau, who can, you know... Win the game. Yeah. If he says name it and Jim fails to name it, then he's our winner and I'm terribly excited because the show is already running long. And it would be fun to have an exciting finish like that.

But it's up to you, Kamau. What do you think? Name it. Okay. I respond with great pressure. If he gets this, everyone's going to be very excited. You get five names, Jim. Yes, let's hear those names.

Let's hear them. Neil Flynn was in this movie. Remember him. Danielle Francesi. Yes. Francesi. Lizzie Kaplan. The capper.

Oh. Oh. Stop thinking about her naked in True Blood. Okay. Jonathan Bennett? Is that with one N or two Ns? Two Ns, two Ts. Yep, that's the one.

And Amanda Seyfried was in this movie. Oh, yes. Don't yell out, you guys. It's so great. All right, you know what? What is this movie called? Do you want this whole thing to be over, is the question here? A little bit of both.

But you know what? I will bet my dog on this. That it is Herbie the Love Bug First of all It's called Herbie Fully Loaded And this movie we're talking about Is called Mean Girls That was Mean Girls?

Oh shit I never saw Mean Girls Really? You know why? Because I'm not a 13 year old girl That's why I didn't see it Be sure to tell They're turning on me You're booing Jim Gaffigan

For not seeing Mean Girls The booing of Jim Gaffigan This fall Jim, I am so putting you in my burn book. What's that? You know what? You guys are all upsetting my dog. Jim needs to do a trust fall right now.

That was awesome. Alright, so the prizes have to go to the second name tag you picked. And they don't get to name a shithead, unfortunately, even though you said it was a good one. Let me see what it is. Maybe I'll say it anyway.

Oh, yeah, Keira Knightley is a gerbil-faced shithead. Where you at, girl with the sign? There you are. Come get your prizes. Congratulations. Is there a shithead on the back of your Boba Fett? Okay, good. Is there one on spuds?

I don't know. I don't think so. Okay, so we'll... Paul, right? Do you want to do this person's? We'll need you to come up here, Paul, and give us a shithead. Okay.

Here, write it down on this. Oh, yeah, we'll read the Hulk hands shithead since you freaked out on them. Who is Francisco as a shithead? Someone you know? Okay, Hulk hands. Way to waste your opportunity. Who is Francisco as a shithead? Someone you know? Yeah. Okay, Hulk hands. Way to waste your opportunity.

Aren't these technically Bruce Banner hands? Wait, why would his hands be big and white? Well, they're white. They're not green. Is that the halfway point? Like he gets big and then changes color? Yes. Okay. Fair enough. And is there a shithead on the big and then changes color? Yes. Okay.

Fair enough. And is there shit on the back of that, Pete? Yes. Yes. Pete Lee, everybody. What do you got to plug, Pete? You got anything to plug? David Letterman on Tuesday.

And I do tour. I will be in Houston. Houston, Philly, and then Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Bitches. Nice. I hope you don't need an abortion while you're there. I'm just saying, you know, schedule accordingly. That's going to get you a lot of people coming out to your show.

I don't know that that would be my destination abortion place. No, of course it wouldn't be. But if you need one. When I want abortions, I go to Mount Rushmore. That was a geography joke. Kamau, when does it come back? Totally biased on FX? May 9th on FX.

May 9th. Monday through Thursday. 11 o'clock. On May 9th, it'll still be weekly for seven episodes, but I also do live shows, too. Oh, where are you going to be? I'll be in Oakland on April 7th and 8th. I'll be in Washington, D.C. on April 21st. I'll be at Caroline's here in New York

on April 25th through the 28th. Cool. Jim. Hi. JimGaffigan.com. Let's just cut to the chase. You know what? You could go there.

Kilimanjaro. You're going to be on Kilimanjaro. Well, yeah. I mean, for, I don't know, a minute. What else? Dad is fat. May 7th. I'm glad you got one more in.

Thank you for being here. Thank you. Oh, this is such a warm panel. Graham? I'll be headlining the improv in Hollywood, California, April 12th. Oh, I'll do a set on that show. Yeah, yeah.

Doug's going to do a set on that show. A bunch of Chris Mancini and other comedy film nerds are going to be on it. We're also doing a live comedy film nerd recording at the Nerd Melt in Los Angeles May 16. All my tour dates are at GrahamElwood.com. And, of course, the Los Angeles Podcast Festival, year two, October 4th through 6th. Doug is doing his show along with a bunch of others.

Those are at LAPodFest.com. Check it out. Thanks to all you guys. Thanks to everybody coming out to the Gramercy. We'll be back July 1st. Maybe before then. I might do something here before then. But yeah, July 1st.

Oh, and come see Greatest Movie Ever Rolled tomorrow night at the Friars Club Comedy Film Festival. Graham and I will be there and we'll answer questions after the movie. Like, questions like, what did we just watch? What just happened? And as always,

Han Solo is a shithead. He's such a shithead. And he shot first. Boba Fett, can it just not let that go? Just get over it. I don't even know. Okay. Phil Hartman's wife is a shithead? Why are you looking at me?

I didn't write it. Not cool, Jim. Not cool, dude. I don't even remember writing it. That cool, Jim. Not cool, dude. I don't even remember writing it. That's actually nice. Like, she killed him. Like, oh, you shithead. Yeah, finally. Finally some revenge for that senseless act

where she took her own life. So hear that? Hear that? Hear that? Don't know where she is. Buried downstairs? That's what I'm saying.

Like, she could be underneath this building. And New York City post-college internships forever? Why is the word forever in there? Forever is a shithead?

Is that how you wanted me to say it? Okay, let me try it again. Because it didn't work. I should have saved Han Solo for third. Sometimes I get the order wrong. New York City post-college internships forever are a shithead!

Music! Now it's time for Doug to watch another hockey. Eyes of gold, his viewing crowd was fixing hockey. There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies