Doug Loves Movies - Jimmy Dore and Stef Zamorano Guest

Episode Date: October 20, 2010

Doug visits his "Comedy and Everything Else" pals Jimmy Dore and Stef Zamorano for another special "studio edition" of Doug Loves Movies.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody, it's Sunday, October 17th. My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug. There's still smoke. There's still smoke coming out of my mouth. After all that talking, I still haven't exhaled all of that hit yet. Oh my God. That's crazy. This is Doug loves movies and you're listening to another podcast crossover event

because I am recording this app from the studio where comedy and everything else is taped, a.k.a. Jimmy Dore and Stephanie Zamorano's house. That's correct. Living room. That's correct. We're also joined by, you may hear on occasion, the engineer for comedy and everything else, whose name is Paul.

How do you say your last name again? Bartunek. Okay, I'm never going to try to say that. Okay. I'm just going to stick with Paul. Bartunek. I can do it. I can do it.

I can totally do it. He has a nickname also, Beardo. He's known on the show, but he told us today he doesn't want us to call him that. I believe you offered not to. This is the perfect time to introduce it on another podcast, is to let everybody know that you're not calling him that anymore. We're not going to call him that anymore. It's over. It's over, Beardo. Doug, you have some announcements you have to get out?

You're just Paul. I was just going to say, first of all, that the show everyone's listening to right now is free. This is the free one of the week that always comes out. And I was hoping that

Jimmy wouldn't just walk away while I was doing this part of the show, but he's going to get some more of that delicious pizza that Stephanie cooked up for us. Yep. Got a big carbon footprint, that pizza. Let me paint a picture for everybody. Jimmy just went to get some pizza on a paper plate

that's Halloween-themed. And we have wine, we have kettle corn, we've got the aforementioned microwave, not microwaved, but heated up pizza. Yes, yes, all the way from Italy. It comes from Rome. And yeah, and we're

smoking a little, having some wine. Paul is not partaking of anything. He's just sitting there doing his job. And then there's a dog on Stephanie's lap. Bubba. Named Bubba, who's just an adorable... What do you call it? What kind of dog is it?

Chinese Crested. No, ask again. What kind of dog is it? Show dog. More specific, please. Chinese Crested. Very good. He's the guy.

Now walk in a circle. The most Chinese Crested, people will think that most of them are hairless, but he is what they call a powder puff. He has hair. He's a hairy one, yes. Which makes him adorable. Yeah, exactly. If he didn't have hair, he'd be horrified.

Right. Who wants a hairless dog? And some people might say that he has white or light hair. He's Palomino, actually. Okay. I had a great time in Portland, Oregon, as I always do, last weekend. The Helium Comedy Club there is a new club, and I had a blast. So I'm definitely going to do a podcast taping there sometime in the future.

No promises as to how soon, but I'm thinking 2011 for sure. I will narrow it down to a year for you since I was just there. I got away a little while before I come back. I still got two more. It's not a two more. I've got two more Pot the Vote shows in Sacramento and San Francisco coming up on October 30th in San Francisco, 31st in Sac, and Graham Elwood and other special guests are going to be there. Do you want to know who the special guests are going to be?

I can't wait. I also call them dudes who happen to be in the area. No, Doug, what happens on these... When we're in Sacramento and San Francisco. Now, what happens on these pot-to-vote shows, exactly? Do you come out and you... It's just a regular show, but if it's happening in a state like in California

where there's a sort of ballot initiative coming up on November 2nd, it's just sort of to help put the word out. Awareness? Awareness. Like my big pitch is that if you're between the ages of 18 and 21 in California, you know, you can vote, but the law is going to be that you've got to be 21 to smoke if it passes. So that's kind of a conundrum for some of those young people. They might think they're going to blow off voting and, you know, just kind of put their foot down and say that's not fair.

Well, how about planning for your future, young man? That's my point. You know, even stoners can plan. Might not get on the ballot again. Although now, and we'll talk about this, this is going to be a crossover event, you guys. Right after this taping, we're going to tape an episode of comedy and everything else. And then we'll really get into this pot talk if you want to hear more about that uh but it's uh the whole situation in california is pretty interesting right now like stoners are arguing with each other now so that's

that's great that's a really focused argument uh to stoners that can't agree on uh legalization um but maybe they aren't stoners you can't agree on legalization. But maybe they aren't stoners. You might have some conspiracy theories, as you always do, Jimmy, that you would like to share about who it is exactly that's stirring things up. I watched Freddy Got Fingered on the plane home from Portland today because I had promised to watch it when I was talking to Nathan Rabin, the author of My Year of Flops.

He said it was a secret success. And I said, well, I'll watch it again and give you my new assessment. And my new assessment is, no, it isn't. It's not a secret success. Well, maybe it's still a secret that it's a success but it didn't it still didn't work for me i love when he's on the piano and the sausages are hanging on strings and he's going daddy want a sausage daddy want a sausage that that part makes me laugh i still just awesome part didn't see it, we didn't see it. But what would make a secret success?

That nobody knows it's that good? Ever? No, that it was just like, the author of this book, it's an A.V. Club book, you know, The Onion. So I read it. It's a good book.

But he goes through and just watches movies that were flops and then he assesses if it was a fiasco, a secret success, or there was a third one, I can't remember. But he gives them these ratings andco, a secret success, or there was a third one that I can't remember. But he gives them these ratings, and that one was secret success.

And it's because he's fond of the movie. He thinks it's a funny movie. So I told him I'd give it another try, because I didn't remember it being particularly funny. It's a weird movie. It's totally watchable. Because from scene to scene, you're like, really? Okay, so... Is that, you're like, really? Okay, so.

Is that what you're like, really? Yeah, you just sit there the whole time going, really? This was a movie that Paramount made and that people paid to see. Who was in it? Where a guy jumps out of his car and grabs a giant horse cock and starts jerking it off. What? And yelling, I'm a farmer, I'm a farmer. Like, as I was watching it,

I thought, if you describe any scene from this movie, people will laugh. But watching the movie, it's not funny. It's not enjoyable to watch. But if you hear about it,

it sounds hilarious. That reminds me of my favorite, one of my favorite, biggest laughs for me when Kingpin was when he said, I was milking your cow this morning. Took me a while to get her going, but once I did she didn't stop.

And he's got like a milk mustache. Yes, of course. We don't have a cow, we have a bull. That's pretty funny. That's pretty good. The milk mustache too. Why would it, no matter what he was milking

or thought he was milking, why would it even if no matter what he was milking or thought he was milking why would it hit him in the face why would it just go into a bucket kind of weirdo oh that movie's so gross i don't i don't that's the thing about like i like kingpin i saw the new jackass movie and um i love the stunt stuff, but the gross stuff, it just makes me... It's just kind of gross. It makes me unhappy. Yeah, I just get grossed out by it. I'm just like...

It kind of makes me laugh that they're willing to go so far, but... Just thinking about it. There's stuff about you, and then you can never get it out of your head. You know, like when they fart into a gas mask. You're like, what? What? What? What are you doing?

That's like going into emotional scar territory. Yeah, then they just throw up immediately. And it's just like, of course. When we said the first jackass, I told Jimmy, I think they're just sadist masochistic. And he goes, you think? Do you really think so? Did you figure that out, Dr. Zamorano? Hey, Columbo.

Do people still say Columbo? Who's the new Columbo? I really thought I had... I don't know. What do you do? You say, hey, Castle. Yeah, I know. Who's the new gumshoe that you would go to

if you wanted to make that kind of a good one? Kojak. There used to be so many great names you could pull. If there's two guys standing there you go starsky and hutch there's three ladies you call them angels you know it was easy hey banachek oh hey streets of san francisco did we already say quincy oh no that's what you say whenever it's even if it doesn't even have to be a coroner it could be any kind of doctor yeah yeah right if he's not gonna wipe whatever quitsy way to go oh man so i've gotta um make an announcement about next week's doug love movies uh podcast taping it's gonna be at 10 30 after uh the comedy death ray halloween show which is always a lot of fun so if you have

tickets to the comedy death ray halloween you can stay and watch doug loves movies at 10 30 or if you just want to show up and try to get in for free to doug loves movies there'll probably be some seats because some people might have jobs or whatnot so you can slide on in there and that's october 26th oh my gosh sounds crazy right yeah here's another announcement that's going to blow your minds at cinefamily uh i'm going to be screening the movie link on wednesday october 27th and that movie is a terrible terrible monkey horror movie has there ever been a great monkey horror movie i don't think so i think once you have a monkey involved it might be kind of scary but it's not going to be a great horror movie so link is

going to be the movie this time i do these movie interruptions where i play a whole movie and we sit on the couch in the front row and just uh say whatever we feel like saying about it i try to get people that are in movies to participate. And so in this particular case, Elizabeth Shue, who's the star of Link, she might actually be there talking wise about her own movie as it unspools. So did you guys see Waiting for Superman? No, we haven't seen it yet. Did you see it?

We're going to go. Did you see it? Yes, go did you see it yes yes yes you did Doug he saw what why are you so upset we went and saw

a different movie we were gonna go see it and we were like well why don't we see a movie maybe it's too political and maybe we thought well we don't wanna do this thing

to like oh education oh they're fucking everything well I don't wanna bore the listeners with this story a million times but I'm friends

with Elizabeth Shue now, kind of. She was on the podcast because Adam Scott dragged her on because they did Piranha 3D together. Anyway, she invited me to the premiere of... She invited me to leave Las Vegas. She invited me to...

That's another one of her films yeah certainly is so um i get it certainly is uh but she's gonna be now i've coerced her to maybe come to link and uh which is would it be amazing to me if she shows up because um you know her husband made this incredible movie that uh i bet you he's probably spending day and night every day talking about it to some media outlet somewhere in the world. Like he's become the guy about how messed up education is. Well, I'll tell you, I haven't seen the movie. God damn it. I can't believe that I haven't seen it.

So what did you see? What did you see that you thought I would have seen? We saw Zach's new film. Zach's movie. Oh, see, that's great. So you can talk about that. I haven't seen it. So what did you see? What did you see that you thought I would have seen? We saw Zach's new film. Zach's movie. Oh, see, that's great. So you can talk about that. I haven't seen it. So, you know,

we'll trade stories. It'll be fun. I think the... Do you want to talk... Can you tell us a little bit about Waiting for Superman? Because... I didn't know

that was her husband. What do you want to know besides 40% of our children right now in high school don't graduate? Right. 40%. I'm so curious where they are in the society.

Just that alone, I was bawling in my seat and just like, what can I do to make children be able to learn? It's such a heartbreaking move. Well, you know what I do is what they never ask the right questions, though, Doug. And those people, these reformers like Michelle Rhee and Arne Duncan. She seems a little intense, that Michelle girl. You know how many years of education? Jimmy, tell them.

Of teaching experience that both of them have? Three years combined, and it's in second grade. So I don't really take their opinions that seriously. Because when they talk about reforming education, what they're really talking about is breaking the teacher union and privatizing education. And that's not going to work. But anyway, that's what they're talking about. Right, right. But those charter schools...

Charter schools are not the answer to our problem. But that one dude that runs those schools, he seems like a smart guy and he has some great ideas about how to... Yes, there's some great charter schools. Well, the point with a charter school would be that you're supposed to model. So you have a great charter school and whatever they're doing that's so great. So whoever that man is who has created a well-working machine as a charter school, well, then they're supposed to be the model, the prototype. And then all the other people that are looking to develop charter schools, they use those models.

That should be the model. It's not just one charter school after another is the answer. The idea of a charter school is that they experiment, you see what works, and then you copy it and apply it to the rest of the public school system. You don't have a system of charter schools where everyone gets to do their own thing. And when you say charter school, you think, oh, it's going to be great. Most charter schools suck. And they just close another one down. You know, that's just really the privatizing of education with no real way to do... Anyway, so we'll move on.

You guys are so high. That's awesome. But anyway, that's the truth. Well, you know, as in... It's a left... You know, the whole... What's happening right now is the diminishing of the classroom teacher brand.

They keep saying that the problem of education is teachers, and that's not the problem. The problem of, and teacher unions, because the great schools, the best schools in the country also have teacher unions, and the worst schools in the country also have teacher unions. They also have horrible neighborhoods. They think that if you have a failing community,

somehow the school's supposed to work for them. That's not how it works. You have to fix your community, and then you fix your school. But let's go. But you know what? I wanted to say also... How did there were cases, though, where a school becomes great within a terrible community?

Yes. It can work, but you're just saying that the more common sense approach would be the other way around. But they do in other countries that beat us in education. Nobody says, like, well, why don't we study some of the other countries? Like's go to the netherlands you know what they do there finland actually is the the rated number one right now in math and science why is that so what they did was they

decided to have uh 20 to 1 teachers uh 20 class sizes of 20 students and then three teachers per class and they all have master's degrees wow nobody's proposing anything like that in america all they're doing is we have to break their teen union get charter schools and then tie the teachers paid into students performance but only only math and only math and english teachers no other teachers are tied to their performance you know a french teacher or an art teacher or a gym teacher. Nobody else's pay is tied to their performance. Don't get me started on those French teachers, Jimmy.

But anyway. Son of a gun. But I want to weigh in, too, because you're probably one of the only shows that actually is having an educator on it to speak at the point. And I am an educator, believe it or not. Oh, I thought you were going to say Paul was an educator. No. A little embarrassing.

But I think the whole idea is if we follow that line of thinking that it's a bad school, dot, dot, dot, that that must mean that the teachers are bad and therefore the unions are bad, then let's just use that type of thinking. And every time I see a sitcom that's shitty it must be those goddamn shitty writers the right that are union writers also the bad films it must be those shitty union writers again who've written a bad film plus those horrible union actors shitty actor unions they make shitty films so i guess they're right when it comes to something bad it must be because of the union anyway nicely put that was fun that was was well. I really enjoyed that.

That was well done. But you guys, you should definitely see this movie. Why are you wasting your time with Zach Galifianakis in a psych ward? How crazy that you saw that movie. I've been dying to see that movie. I just interviewed a guy for my radio show who was in that movie. But it's the thing to me about the movie is it's boosting the conversation, which needs to be front burner.

Well, Arnie Duncan is not a proponent of strong, progressive educational ideas, nor is Michelle Rhee. She's very punitive in nature. She's a chancellor with hardly any experience in the classroom. And Jimmy, ask me how many kids I teach every day. How many kids do you teach every day? Over 180 students every day. Every day? Every single day. So every 55 minutes, there's a break, and then I teach a new group of kids. And I love them. So when somebody says, you know, these teachers aren't doing their jobs, they're

thinking they're only affecting the lives of 30 kids every day. I actually, as you know, when you teach middle school and high school, you're teaching a lot more kids. And I teach at a school that is always in the top 3% of the nation on our test scores. And test scores aren't that important. They're just some way that it's an easy way to gather data and be able to spend money on schools that are doing well. And Georgia, recently, their test scores came out.

They found out that their teachers or administration erased all the kids' answers, and there's a high rate of erasure marks. Erasure marks on the tests. I like to say erasure. Because their pay is tied to how well the kids do. So they just take their tests, they erase the wrong answers, and put them in because their pay is tied to it. Do we really not think cheating is going to accelerate?

I would cheat. I'm a comedian because I'm basically a to it. Do we really not think cheating is going to accelerate? I would cheat. I'm a comedian because I'm basically a cheated heart. Well, that's true. We don't have to really work. That's right. We sort of pulled that off. We're basically con men. Yes.

We're like traveling salesmen with no product. We're just selling ourselves. Pay money to listen to me talk. Here we go. My ideas will trick you into laughing. You had a great time, because I told you you did. Good night. Yeah, and you've been entertained.

How do you know I said so? All right. Well, let's see if I got any more announcements. I'd love to talk to you guys after you've seen that movie, because it's going to make you very angry, considering your position. But you'll also be... I know you're human beings

and the stories that they cook up of the individual girls, it's kind of like watching that Brian Gumbel HBO sports thing where they're just heartbreaking. Sure. These moments of triumph and these moments of being beaten down when you're already suffering from.

Yes, Jimmy? Has anybody, did anybody in that movie suggest that we cut the class sizes in half and add a teacher to every classroom? No. No. So when they say. That's a logical solution, by the way. Decreasing class size. Just me even saying that.

And increasing jobs. Yes. Yes. And by the way there's not let's make some calls let's make it happen there's not a line of people standing out of my school every day hoping to get a job as a teacher there's there's no line happening to apply as a teacher by the way the whole idea of if we fire these bad teachers there's some there's some there's some room full of great teachers out there waiting to break when you see the movie though they got footage of these fucking teachers that are like you know who knows what percentage of all teachers they represent

uh however minuscule it's just horrifying like you know well let me be perfectly clear that teachers didn't hire teachers teachers don't evaluate teachers who are the fucking administrators who hired this without so they interview them they hire them then they go ahead and evaluate them and continue to employ them so those people weren't once a time fabulous those people weren't very good in the first place but nobody was around to take their place oh i feel so much better thank you doug i'm glad you got off your chest that's really you know that's just you don't't hear... It's a hilarious topic. I know.

I know. We're having a lot of fun with it. Here comes Ben Zalavansky. Oh, I was wondering... What? Come on in, Ben. Do you have people coming by while we're doing this? He's my...

He's on my... I'm going to be on our show next. Oh, really? With you. Oh, okay. We're doing Doug's show right now How's it going? Good to see you

Oh my god Just hang out You could have some There's some pizza over there There's some kettle corn In the middle of the table Possibly You know Bub already

There's still some wine right? There's a little bit left Doug's not even finished His announcements We're already talking about Waiting for Superman I'm practically there Doug saw it

so yeah I saw it so we can catch him up on stuff later the listeners know everything up to this point there's only one person involved in this podcast who doesn't know what happened up to this point and it's your friend Ben I'm going to be at the

St. Louis Funny Bone November 8th and 9th and that's that what were you doing to his microphone trying to keep him from speaking she's afraid I'm going to eat

kettle corn kettle corn into the microphone oh I like I think that'll be a fun sound for Doug Loves Movies it'll sound like

we're enjoying a movie and eating some popcorn but man I go crazy with the chewing with their mouth open people For Doug Loves Movies, it'll sound like we're enjoying a movie and eating some popcorn. But man, I go crazy with the chewing with their mouth open people at movies lately. I cannot handle it. People that eat popcorn without closing their mouths or even... Popcorn's noisy if you try to eat it quietly in a movie. So the people that just chomp away are starting to drive me nuts. Like that, yeah, nuts. Like that.

Yeah, exactly. Like hearing that through it, it's just like, you're like watching the scene going, there's nobody, like if it was a movie about people sitting around

eating popcorn, it would be perfect. See, I always try to sit in the back row. Like we went, we saw the movie yesterday that Zach Galifianakis,

but we sat in the back row. And I was a seat away from a very, an older, older, older woman, and I kept having to squirt banaca in my mouth because the woman smelled like mothballs. So to have something good to smell. If you had a nice thing in your, banaca in your mouth.

It would overpower the mothball smell coming from the lady. Well, sometimes I would squirt it right under my nose so I could only have a various banaca scent. But, you know, going to the movies is a nightmare, Doug. But that must have given the movie kind of like a... Authentic. It must have felt real.

Like a hospital. A psych ward would smell like that, too. Yes. I couldn't smell the lady, but Steph said she could smell the lady. All right. Zach Galifianakis was great in the film, by the way. Of course, he's amazing, I'm sure.

But the thing about That's the problem with going to movies That's why I Netflix everything now We very rarely go to see the movie When it comes out Oh because of the other people and stuff It's hard Yeah we'll go see Jackass

Because it doesn't matter if someone's I like going by myself Because then I'm like If something's bugging me It's easier to make the move Like when you're with somebody Yes You have to confer And something's bugging me, it's easier to make the move. Like when you're with somebody. Yes.

You have to confer. And something's bugging you, it's got to bug both of you equally. And you got to figure out where you're going. And if I'm there by myself, like if I'm in a theater and there's no good empty seats away from people that are doing annoying things, I'll change my mind and see a different movie or just go home. Like as soon as I feel like anything is going to be distracting from watching the movie, because I go into every movie hoping it's going to be the most amazing experience of my life, and I'm more often than not disappointed,

but at least I want the situation to be as optimal as possible. Yeah, but you go to see most of the movies during the day, right? Well, I used to, yeah, but that's been harder to do, so now I have to suffer through the conditions of watching a movie on an airplane, because that's where I see most of the current releases, is three months after their current releases. Why is it that on a plane, people don't annoy me as much as in a movie theater? Is it because I don't care that much about the movie on a plane?

What is it? I don't know, but it bugs me. If people are having a loud conversation while I'm trying to watch some horrible Jennifer Lopez rom-com, it drives me nuts. Loud talkers on planes are just ridiculous. I don't get that at all.

Especially strangers that hit it off. I want to hear both of your life stories and I don't get to at all. Especially strangers that hit it off. I want to hear both of your life stories and I don't get to contribute in any way. I have to just listen to it. It's brutal. One time I was on a flight and a son and a mother combo, teenage boy and his weird mother,

read to each other. They took turns reading chapters from Chronicles of Narnia. What? Yeah, it made me insane. Because I had to listen to muffled, can't make out every word Chronicles of Narnia being read aloud.

And no one else even sitting closer to them was even flashing them dirty looks or anything. It's like everybody thought it was fine. Yeah, it's what you do. I had the two women talking too loud about their personal lives behind us, and the comic I was with turns around and goes, hey, you know we can hear everything you're saying, right?

And the woman's like, yeah, so? He goes, that doesn't bother you? And then just turned around, and that was it. They talked a little softer. But yeah, people are not good with the public space do you ever have a kid banging on your tray who's sitting behind you oh that's just that's insufferable i always try to get that exit row seat where the seat is too far away for them to have a tray they have the thing they pull out of the arm because that is i that is my nut because i i'm good at

falling asleep but uh staying asleep is only going to happen if no one's fucking with my chair. Like anything touches the chair, I wake up, you know. Yeah, yeah. But I'm a good sleeper on a plane but I'll tell you what. You get a kid banging on the tray and he has to lay.

But can you stop? The kid stops. He goes, what am I supposed to do? What are you supposed to do? I don't know. Give the kid a pill. He can't bang on my chair. Put the tray up. Put the tray up.

Put the tray up or push the kid back in the seat. There's solutions. You didn't buy the seats ticket. Anyway. I hope you said that. Overhead bin is another option. Oh, no. Cough syrup isn't a bad idea sometimes.

Oh, you know, you're going to blow smoke on your kid's face. That's what you're going to do. Yeah, I don't have any. I have a dog. No, I don't get him high. Does the dog know? The dog gets high, though, for sure. Just hanging out in here.

Look at the dog right now. The dog looks so high. Oh, yeah. He's just relaxed. We've got gotta have the dog in the picture with you guys I always take a picture of the guests

to send out on Twitter yeah we do too the day the episode we started doing that too we're up with you yeah we're taking pictures too we're all about pictures it's you know

that's the great thing about podcasting I don't care if we're all doing the exact same show because it's it's a different show when we just sit down and talk like this. I think I know what you're talking about.

I'm not sure. I'm saying we're not really in competition. You and I? Anybody. Anybody in podcasting because... Don't fucking fool yourself, Benson. Because you're the only Jimmy Dore there is out there, man. Oh, thank you.

If somebody did an impression of you, then you'd have a reason to get upset. You and Mr. Rogers told me that. But everyone else just doing podcasts. What are you going to do, you know? Are you high and drunk? I did have a few sips of wine that I brought over that I forgot. Oh, shit, I put a roofie in there.

Is that what's happening? I think, doesn't a roofie in there. Is that what's happening? I think, doesn't a roofie make you sleepy? It doesn't make you dumb, necessarily, does it? I think it makes you like who you are right now. Makes you like, yeah, okay, go ahead and put that in me. Doug, I have a question. What is your favorite scary movie? Oh, because it's Halloween. Yeah, it's Barack October.

That's Barack October. My favorite scary movie is probably, I'd say maybe Halloween or The Exorcist. I would go with Halloween. Yeah. Original Halloween. Jaws in its way is a good scary movie. What do you think, Jimmy?

The Squid and the Whale is a real cautionary tale. Well, yeah, that's a horrified movie if you're about to go check a book out of the library. Remember that scene? I didn't see that movie. Oh, there's the scene where the kid jerks off in the library and puts his goo all over some books. Oh, no kidding. Yeah.

It's so funny that you pulled that out as your example and you haven't even seen it. I just remember... So the references and the tags are going to stop immediately. It looked like it was about family problems. It looked like it could be

you know like a family Right? Right. But it sounded like I just said Joss you're like the squid. I get it. That was fun.

We have fun when we get together. That's for damn sure. I like I like coming over and hanging out with you guys and your dog so doug we're not uh no it's how many shows have you done uh with not in front of a live audience it's a thing i do whenever there's like a paid episode coming up i still want to have the weekly free one because tomorrow night we're recording a show at the Irvine Improv. Oh, really?

Okay. And people have to pay two bucks to get that off of iTunes or $1.99 which, you know, as you know, in our business is our way of tricking people

into thinking that it's, oh, it's only a dollar. Yes. $1.99. Mm-hmm. That anyone still thinks that works is amazing. So it's $1.99

to get that episode. It works for me. There's some shit for two bucks. I just won't pay. I just won't get it. So it's $1.99 to get that episode. It works for me. There's some shit for $2. I just won't get it. So this will come out around the same time as that. In the past, I went to the Sklar Brothers studio where they do their show.

I went to where Never Not Funny does their show. Oh, really? Okay. That's the idea. Just do it on your turf. I'm going to do one with David Feldman where I go to his theater in front of his audience and do my show for them. Gotcha. With him as one of the guests along with some of his other regulars.

I mentioned you as a possibility because you go down there and do his show. Sure. It's pretty much every Thursday night, right? Let's get a plug in for that. He does his show twice a month right now. Twice a month. That's a fake gallery. it's a fake gallery it's at the fake gallery do they have a website that keeps people yes it's very easy to know it's

fake.com.com.com so it's spell it out yes right spell it out up until the.com i know it's pretty stupid.com.com spell it out and then.com anyway i'm not f- spelling it. F-A-K-E dot C-O-M dot com? Yes. Oh, God. But you said dot, so you still have to spell it. So this will drop tomorrow? No. This will be out next Friday.

Oh. Yeah, so. Can't plug my Thursday date. We'll try to remember we'll try to remember what happened here you know in case we have to go back in and edit some stuff out because of current events

like if somebody we talked about dies in the next few days or something well let's not even say that I went off about Michael Jackson one time on the podcast and the podcast plopped around the same day that he died. And so we had to go in and say...

We had to go in and say... Matt put his voice in right before I launched into this story. Matt's voice just goes, record it on, and a date that predates it. Because I didn't want to cut the thing out entirely because I still stood by my initial assessment

that he was up to some weird stuff with kids. But the Michael Jackson Auditorium, the high school near where I live, you guys have been to my place, the high school near there has, it used to be the Michael Jackson Auditorium, and then all those allegations came out and stuff happened. So for the longest time, they had Michael Jackson covered up with boards.

Then I was driving by today, and I noticed that it's back down again, like Michael Jackson. He's back up? Like Captain EO's back at Disneyland, and he's got his auditorium back at that school. It's probably an elementary school. But whatever kind of school it is, he's got his name back on there. It's almost just like allegations never occurred,

and no one's even remotely worried about it anymore. Because he died? Because he's dead. He's dead. He left a legacy of great music and things, and now he's gone. And now he's gone and so what's the point of making a big deal out of potential?

I think he was just a weirdo. I just think he was a weird dude that liked kids more than adults and thought that sleepovers weren't that weird. I don't think he had sex with them. I think he might have had a boner while he was laying next to them. Maybe. There's something inside me. I don't think he could hurt a kid that way, even sexually.

I don't think he thought he was hurting them. And he was a weirdo that he liked to hang out with kids. Yeah, and he just didn't know how to spin it. He didn't know how to say to Martin Bashir, you know, like, oh... You remember that it was him that interrupted you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so funny. That sort of put that guy on the map for me. Martin Bashir? That was the first time I

really noticed him, and then he started subbing on Nightline a lot more after that. Yeah, he just left Nightline. Oh,ir? That was the first time I really noticed him and then he started subbing on Nightline a lot more after that. Yeah, he just left Nightline. Oh, really? Yeah, I follow his career. Anyway, I'm a big Martin Bashir fan.

Not a lot of people. Well, he really went for it with Michael on that thing and he got, you know, what he wanted. He got weird answers

like, you know, isn't sharing your bed the most loving thing you can do to another person? No, they're children that aren't your own. That's not, it's not, it's just not cool, man.

You know, like, no one ever, but the fact that he was so, no one would explain that to him. All of his brothers and his sister wouldn't just go, hey, you know what? You should chill with that. Not do that. I'm with you. The dog, nothing to add. The dog fell asleep, though.

Nothing to add. We lost the dog on that. So, okay. It's kind of a funny story. You guys saw it. Your thoughts? Oh, the movie is kind of a funny story. I saw it. Boy, you did it so casually. I thought it was just a conversation. I thought you had a story coming. I'm like, Doug, you could really

do some serious acting. The way you did that? Smooth. Did you see that? I think we studied with the same teacher at one point. A lot of practice at selling this stuff. Plus, I really do want to know,

you saw it, what did you think? It was great. It was a great movie. I want to break it down. First, I think it's great casting. Couldn't tell you anybody other than Zach Galifianakis.

Of course, there's lots of... Well, the main kid's name is Keir Gilchrist. He's terrific. He's on United States of Terror. He's very good on that. Oh, really? He's so solid.

He's gay on that show, but straight in the movie. Is he gay or straight? I don't know. It doesn't matter, right? That's how good he is. He is a good actor. The movie was funny when it was supposed to. Zach is really, really good in it.

Jim Gaffigan is also in it. Jim Gaffigan plays the dad, the kid's dad. It's a coming-of-age tale where the kid goes into the hospital. Are we supposed to say what it is? No, it's just... Most people listening to this are probably pretty aware of what it's about.

Yeah, and this is going to drop next Friday, so they should have seen it if they're going to see it. Well, no, I don't want anybody giving anything away. Spoiler alert. People get mad at me when I give away stuff when a movie's already out on DVD. It's funny how long people think

they can just wait. I might be one of those people, Doug. I think it's fair if you always go spoiler alert. The end of the movie is this. But can we... I wonder what the twist was At what point can you talk about it?

What do you mean? Like you're saying. Well, that's the thing. The Statute of Libertations has gotten really fuzzy because some people are like, you know, oh, he's waiting for the Blu-ray or whatever. So you have to give him all this extra time. And I think it's just more like

you should just be sensitive to the idea that... Because even to this day, if I was talking to somebody who hadn't seen Citizen Kane, I wouldn't talk about the ending. I would i would just think well maybe it's missed them somehow and they'll be blown away by it or as it's happening they'll go i remember people talking about this you know what i mean yeah but like it's kind of fun like have you ever watched a classic movie and when one of those classic lines comes out that you didn't even necessarily know was from that you've never seen it like it's it's pretty cool to uh discover those sometimes well i'd never watched old movies until you know i

started dating steph and uh so uh she would like make me watch them and then i was like wow these are good some of them are really good well yeah like if you just see um mr smith goes to washington oh you know to you know with jimmy st It's a great film, and it was the first film that I ever learned anything really about government because he does a filibuster, and he's trying to stand up for the underdog, and he's being smeared everywhere. It shows how powerful owned the media even back then.

And it's very, you could watch the movie now, and it has. It certainly would inform, people should watch that movie of facing the Crowd and Network. And that's all they need to know about what's happening in America right now. Are you holding one of Patton Oswalt's Halloween cards?

I wrote all the movies on this. But isn't that what that is? Yes, it is. Yeah, Patton and his wife send out a Halloween card every year and no Christmas card. That's their annual holiday greeting is Halloween. Oh, spooky. Patton and his wife send out a Halloween card every year and no Christmas card. That's their annual holiday greeting is Halloween. Oh, spooky. He always gets some cool, the artwork on there is really cool.

It's really cute. Yeah. I'm honored to be on his mailing list for that. Yeah. Okay. Put me down as honored too. Okay, cool. As long as we're, I'm not going to let you out.

Scribble notes all over that cherished keepsake. Pat and Liss is this podcast, man. You are busted. It's on the back. It's on the back. It doesn't mar anything. You kidding me? He also doesn't care.

You guys are getting all defensive about it. You're panicked. Oh, no. This is going to be another... This is Jimmy ruining another perfectly good friendship. You know, I... With his weird candor. Ruining another. This is Jimmy ruining another perfectly good friendship. With his weird candor. Ruining another. His weird candor?

Is that what you just said? Yeah, because he says the wrong thing, even though he means the right thing. I do have a penchant for unwittingly saying, with the best of intentions, saying the wrong thing. Yes. Well, the perfect example is that time that you asked a woman, this beautiful, beautiful woman who's married,

and you just said, are you happy being married? Because he was thinking about getting married. I was thinking about getting married, and the club owner thought I was hitting on his wife. And I was just thinking about, I was actually thinking about getting married. Anyway, so go ahead. How long do you think we've been going? Do you have a time gap? 40 minutes.

40 minutes? Holy crap. So we have five minutes left? Well, we'll probably go a couple minutes over because we've got to play. We can't let you guys go without playing a round of the Leonard Maltin game. Okay.

Do you guys know how to play it? No, go ahead and tell me again how to play it. I'm all about rules and making sure I do this right. Awesome. Because the listeners'm all about rules and making sure I do this right. Awesome. Because the listeners are all about hearing the rules every time. You can pause it. We can pause it. You can explain it to them.

That's a great idea. I don't want your listeners to be so mad at me. That's a great idea. And we'll be right back after I tell them the rules. And that's how you play the Leonard Walton game, you guys. Oh, got it. Got it. Okay, it's a little complicated.

It's four hours later. Okay. They finally think they might kind of get it. We already played three rounds. Failed every time. I did go in and out a couple of times, as you were explaining. I'm not going to kid. So I got most of it, but not all of it.

There might be a couple of turns. It's complicated. I'll talk you through it. Let's start. That's a movie. The important part is to play quickly. Okay, so we'll start with stephanie how would you like to do you the categories you can choose from are uh actors directing movies directed by actors uh glengarry glenn ross that's movies that have

actors from glary gunn ross in them oh or uh i was just at helium in port That's movies that have actors from Glenn Ross in them. Oh. Or I was just at Helium in Portland so movies that take place in Portland, Oregon. I'm going to go with your first category. Directors, actors directing, actors in movies directing. Yeah, something like that. Actors directing. And of course

there's actors in it. They don't direct anything that doesn't have actors in it. I know what the movies are. 1980, 1989, or 2000? Straight up. I'm going with 1989. Okay, 1989. This movie was given three stars by Mr. Leonard Maltin. I disagree. I like it more than that, but I'm weird. Like I said, it's from 1989.

The word spectacular is in Leonard's review. And he also says the special edition includes 27 more minutes of footage. Okay. So am I guessing the director or the name of the film? You're guessing the name of the film, but hang on. We got to bid first because you get to get help in guessing the name of the film

by the actor's names. And there are... People are already thinking he must have not done a very good job of telling them the rules if she just asked that. Okay. Ten names. There just asked that. Okay. Ten names. There's ten names.

Okay. How many names do you think you can get it in? I think I can get it in... Okay, how many times can we go back and forth? Do I have to agree? I'm going to go with five. Jimmy will either say, name that movie, or he will bid lower. I'm going with five.

Name that movie. Okay. See, that's a good strategy in this game. You really don't have to know anything. That was the problem. That one time I had Todd and Jimmy on together. They both didn't know anything. I know.

Didn't they keep saying the same movie? They both didn't understand the rules or where they were at the time. We were all very high. Okay. Here's your five names. And people listening are gonna know see my problem right now is that i think i've already decided what it is so i have to be open okay yes it's spectacular leonard gives it three stars it's from 1989 and it's a uh what was the category it was directors and actors actors actors directing, directing, actors, directing, directing.

That's totally not what this is. Hang on a second. How did that get in there? That is so funny. A movie that totally doesn't belong in there got into that category. Well, can I guess that one? I screwed up. Yeah.

Do you think you know what it is? Yeah. Let's go. Give me the name. Give me the names. All right. The names are Chris Elliott, Jimmy Ray Weeks,

Kimberly Scott, J.C. Quinn, and John Bedford Lloyd. Those are the top names in the movie? No, no. It goes from most. That's from the bottom. So Chris Elliott has a small part in it.

In this spectacular movie that's not directed by an actor. Oh, is it Groundhog Day? No. But that's a good guess. But that's totally unfair that that happened. Because I was thinking that's the reason why that category got in there. Oh, because he is an actor.

The guy who directed it. Rambis. Ramos. Harold Ramos. Ramos. Harold Ramos. Yes. Is an actor, yes. That's what I thought. He's really good when he acts and stuff.

I liked him a lot as the dad in Knocked Up. Not the dad of the baby, but the dad of the man who has a baby. Right. Well, I totally screwed that up. That's the first time that's happened in the history of the podcast. I guess I get 10 points then. I had a movie that's totally not in the right category. Because the other movies in Actors Direct, because I'm going to throw out the category now.

Yeah, because it's painted. The other movies are Ordinary People, which is Robert Redford directed, and Spaced Cowboys, which Clint Eastwood directed. In 1989? I don't know how James Cameron and the Abyss got in there. Ordinary People is from 1989? No, that's from 1980. Oh, that's what I thought.

Remember when you picked from the different years? Or, that's from 1980. Oh, that's what I thought. Remember when you picked from the different years? Or when she did? When she did, yeah. All right, so we've got to start from scratch. We're going to start over. Oh, my gosh. Because that was... Do you want to back it up?

No, no. You know what we're going to do, though? Let's play another round right now. But then we'll wrap up my show, and we'll finish the game on your show. So people have to listen to comedy and everything else to hear the conclusion. Okay. Sounds good. This game.

Okay. We're on board. What did that post-it say? He gave me a signal and I looked right at it. I'm like, I have no idea what that means. He must have given you like how much time your show has been. That's correct. Oh, okay.

Thank you. 55 minutes or something. Yeah, no. It's been too long, so we're going to wrap it up, but let me do one more. Okay. Give Jimmy this one. Let me wet people's whistle. All right.

Didn't know what you were winning. We'll start with Jimmy this time. Hopefully, it'll work right. Would you like a movie? The Glenn Gary, Glen Ross category? Yes I left that one for you Moving it along

Okay, see that's why the fuck up happened The Abyss was supposed to be in this category Because Ed Harris was in Glengarry Glen Ross And he was also in The Abyss So that's what that was about So I'm going to take that one out of contention. So you could depict between 1995 or 2006.

For an actor from Glenn, Gary Glenn Ross, goes on to be in a movie in 95 or 2006. Which year would you like, Jimmy? Six, 2006. Okay. Leonard Vaughn gives this movie three stars. I don't know if I agree, and I don't know if I like the use of hand signals

while we're playing this game. We're sitting at a round table, and there's someone behind me, so cheating might be going on. This is from 2006. I already told you that. Three stars. Three stars. this is from 2006 I already told you that three stars three stars let's see

a dead person acts in it because of through movie magic they make a dead person alive and wow everything else gives it away

really there's a there's a newcomer in the film who is appealing Wow, everything else gives it away. Really? There's a newcomer in the film who is appealing. Come on, Doug. Give me a real clue. Those are the real clues. Newcomer that's appealing and a dead guy. And a dead guy appears in the film? Yeah.

Is it that JT Walsh? No. Did he appear in a lot of films after he died? One. Really? You mean he had filmed it before he died? Yeah, and then died and then it came out. I'm talking about they repurposed some footage of this dead person

and put it in this movie like it was new. That's what he means, Jimmy. That's a clue if you recognize that had happened to a famous actor a few years ago, back in 2006 to be specific. actor a few years ago, back in 2006, to be specific. Yeah. And there are 15 names.

You start the bidding, Jimmy Dore. I can name 15. I'll start with 15. Okay, he says 15 names. Stephanie Zamorano. I say name that movie. With all 15 names? I don't think he can do it.

I'm telling you right now. That is the worst strategy. Only the great Matt Myra tried that strategy and it blew up in his face. I don't think he's going to get it. With all 15 names? Yeah, with all 15 names. You and Matt Myra

are a lot alike, Steph. A lot alike. Wow. If I had a nickel for every time all you had to do was say I can get it

in 15 names you'd have to I'm playing smart let's go give me the names I mean 14 you should have said 2006

he was gonna make me do it okay 2006 and then he was gonna make fun of me for not giving him 14 she knows that I don't know the movie

in the first place so why let her throw it back on her is what she's doing. I'm not going to steal 14, 13 names. It's pretty gettable. I was going to make her do it. Okay. All right.

Noel Neal. Jack Larson. Got it. Peeta Wilson. James Caron. Don't know any of those actors so far. Sam Huntington. Still in the blood.

Here's a clue. Cal Penn. He's one of... Is that Chris Penn's brother? No, no. He's Harold Orkumar. Oh, really? Yeah.

I won't tell you which one, though. Parker Posey. You know her. Parker Posey? Eva Marie Saint. Great, great older lady actress. Frank Langella, also a great actor. James Marsden,

Kevin Spacey, Kate Bosworth, and Brandon Ruth. I think it's pronounced Routh. Ruth! And you really don't know what it is. Everyone listening to this podcast right now knows exactly what it is. listening to this podcast right now knows exactly

what it is oh thank you from all those names you guys don't know what he knows Beardo doesn't know either yeah so all those listeners we show them alright so the wait a minute

can I phone a friend no cause he knows it I know he knows it. It's so ridiculous. It's so funny right now that you don't have no idea. I don't either. You gave me all the names. Parker Posey. Everybody that was in it.

What was the 13th name? Just tell me the 13th name. Come on. Because that would be the one that I should be able to. Peter Wilson? Oh. She has a cameo in it, I guess. Tell me the name of the goddamn movie.

It's called Superman Returns. No, I didn't see Superman Returns. But it's not always about necessarily having seen it. I actually see a thread here. We didn't see Superman. Waiting for Superman. And then you picked Superman Returns. That was diabolical.

But Stephanie gets the point. She's on the leaderboard. She played it smart. Going into your show. That was diabolical. But Stephanie gets the point. So she's on the leaderboard. Ding! She played it smart. Going into your show. So I'll just wrap it up by saying this has been Doug Benson over at the household of Jimmy Dore and Stephanie Zamorano

hanging out also with engineer Paul... Bartunek. Bartunek. Bartunek. Bartunek. We also know Joe Bartnik. Yes, different guy. Bartunek Bartunek Bartunek Bartunek We know Also know We know a Joe Bartnik Yes

Different guy Bartunek Yes Oh different guys Oh interesting But Joe Bartnik Lives close by Do you have anything

You want to plug Any dates coming up Or anything Yes You sure do Yes I sure do They can come I'll be in Ventura

At that Ventura Comedy Club The 29th and 30th Of October Oh that's a fun That's a Friday and Saturday It'll be a Ventura at that Ventura Comedy Club the 29th and 30th of October. Oh, that's a fun weekend. Like, if you want to get away from all the trick-or-treat nonsense, come here. That's where I'll be. Lay down the truth about some shit, you know. Yeah, in a fish restaurant.

I think so. If it's fun. Yeah, I love it out there. You go out there, don't you? It's a good vibe out there, yeah. I haven't been there. This is my first time out there since they changed owners. I've played out there a million times over the years

and I always like going out there the people at Ventura are very nice I wonder if there's any podcast listeners in Ventura California I'd like to hear from them if there are so yeah go see Jimmy Dore there and listen to comedy and everything else especially the episode that I'm about to be on

because then they're going to finish out this exciting game of Leonard Maltin. And as always, Jimmy Dore is a shithead, and Stephanie Zamorano is a shithead. Thank you. Now it's time for Doug to

watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!