Doug Loves Movies - Jimmy Pardo, Kumail Nanjiani, and Randy Kagan Guest

Episode Date: September 30, 2013

Doug welcomes comedians Jimmy Pardo, Kumail Nanjiani, and Randy Kagan to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, green and baby sticky seeds With 50 azotop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody! My name is Doug and and I love movies. We love movies! All right, so we got some things to talk about, you guys.

First of all, that sucked. You're terrible at that. Week after week. And, um... One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine... I see at least a dozen 14 fourteen, fifteen empty seats, so hate to start the show off on a bummer but you guys have got till the end of October not you guys that are here, you guys that are here

I love you, but the people that are not here this is free every week and I'm gonna get emotional, when I go out on the road there's like, theaters have like 400 seats are full of people that are excited to be there, that paid money,

and all brought name tags. Let me see your name tags. Yeah. Fucking five of you brought name tags. So fuck you, Los Angeles. I will walk off this motherfucking stage right now if it wasn't for those five people that did bring name tags. Like, why?

Jordan, you're excused, but why come and not bring name tags? And now that all the lights are up, I see even more empty seats. So, it's over. You guys have three more weeks and if it's not full every week for the last three weeks of October, starting in November, the only way you can see

Douglass movies in Los Angeles is if you pay to see it at Nerdist or Largo or wherever I decide to do it. And yeah, that's what's going to happen. I'm sorry. I feel bad for Jordan, but I feel bad for most of you. But that's what's going to happen because it's like it's aggravating, you know. And also, I get it.

You have to stand in line. It's only 45 minutes long. Comedy Bang Bang doesn't exist anymore. But you know, put your hands together. It's a good show every week. And so fuck it. I'm not gonna, I'm not coming back here for free every week anymore. Oh my god, there's even more. This is the

smallest attended show in like six or seven years. And two weeks ago was the best fucking show we've ever done practically. So I don't know what's up. The weather's pretty nice. Coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles on Tuesday, October 1st. 2 Oceans 13.

A.K.A. Brie Larson's birthday. Happy birthday announcement after that tirade. Brie Larson, who doesn't even listen to this. Because she's busy working with foster kids. I confused the movie she's in with what she really does. Tomorrow, October 2nd, it's happening. My first web series, Getting Doug with High. 415 PST.

That's 715 East Coasters. At youtube.com slash Doug Benson. Yeah, come on. Let's get Doug. Now it's time for Watch This, Not That. The number one movie in the country is Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 and the number two movie is Prisoners 1. It'd be weird if they made a sequel to that.

I haven't seen either. I'm still waiting for a sequel to Ransom. I haven't seen either, but I'm wary of any movie that has the words Meatballs 2 in the title. So watch that movie about abducted children that looks like a complete bummer. Not Meatballs 2.

This has been... Watch this, not that. We have a winner in the Intentional Mistake Contest from the Benson Interruption Podcast Watch this, not that. We have a winner in the intentional mistake contest from the Benson Interruption Podcast number 23 at parallax underscore error, which I think is a Twitter account he started just to answer this question,

figured out that in episodes 22 and 23 of the Benson Interruption Podcast, I said the same joke as the example joke at the top of the show. And yeah, that was a tough one to spot. I knew it would take a while, but Rob, he figured it out, and I'm sending in the mail to him

three of my comedy albums. Oh, and now it's time for a not for metaphobes. I'm told that one of the race drivers, race car drivers in Rush, throws up before every race. Or after every race. I haven't seen it, so I forget what it is. But it sounds like he throws up a lot. So don't see Rush, emetophobes.

Don't rush out to Rush, you emetophobes. Prize bag. It's a bag that I acquired from the nice folks at Fantastic Fest. Gave everyone who attended Fantastic Fest a nice bag that you could hold all your crap in. It's kind of like all the men had a purse for the nine or ten days of the festival, which is nice. I went to the premiere of Eastbound and Down, the HBO program. And, yeah, I'm going to try to get people from the show on this show. But in the meantime, one of the prizes, not prizes, but one of the things that they gave everybody,

if you went to that, was a baseball that's like, oh, baseball Jordan. It's one of those stress balls. Oh, I needed that. Oh, settle down. Also, I was so angry, but I'm also very high. So it was interesting that I could get that angry while also being high. But it says on it, I retired my glove, not my balls. It's a picture of Kenny Powers.

And then I played in a poker tournament, the Hollywood Poker Tournament, hollywoodpoker.com, so I'm giving away the hat that they gave because I did terribly in it, so I just don't want to have to look at myself ever in a mirror wearing that hat. We've got something from somebody and another thing from some other people.

What's this? Oh, okay, it's another one from him. Jesus. And my CD, of course, Gateway Doug. They also gave away a bunch of ladies' underwear at the Kenny Powers thing. away a bunch of ladies underwear at the kenny powers kenny powers thing and uh yeah oh and a uh eastbound and down lighter as well so that's all in the bag and um i think there's still something else that's gonna be put in the bag as well please give a big

warm welcome to my guests randy kagan jimmy pardo and k Kumail Nanjiani. I did clean the seat off for Jimmy Pardo with my tongue. My pleasure. My long way to return to the UCB. Did you guys hear me yelling at them? Why were you yelling at them? Look, there's empty seats. Yeah, what the fuck happened? What was the excuse for that?

Why are you mad at them? But it's hard. I'm not mad at them, that's the thing, but there's people listening to this that could be here, that were like, we don't know who the guests are going to be. But how productive is it to yell at an empty seat? It's not, but, you know. I don't know who the guests are going to be. But how productive is it to yell at an empty seat? It's not, but, you know. I don't know your business, but I mean, if they're already gone,

they can't be double gone. That's first-time guest Randy Kagan, everybody. Thank you. I'm not good at math. Finally a guest on the show. Longtime friend of mine. Jimmy Pardo is also here, everybody. Jimmy.

Jimmy Pardo at his most casual. I'm wearing what they call a hoodie. Yeah. And a blue jean. I still have a dress sock on, though. I've got a jacket on. It's like we did a Body Switch movie. You look like you're trying to be in disguise

for someone who belongs at the UCB. I try to fit in with these young people. And that's Kumail Nanjiani, everybody. Kumail Nanjiani! My favorite reason to watch Rizzoli and Isles. Okay, couple things. Couple notes, Doug. Appreciate the sentiment.

It's called bangers and mash. You brought your CD-DV DVD combo called Beta Male that's in the prize bag Jimmy Pardo's latest is out on the CD format this came out just last week

it was number one on iTunes for four days now it's plummeting it's like number 40 I don't know what the fuck happened what did Gaffigan get I don't know Gaffigan's always in there I don't know what Gaffigan. What did Gaffigan get in there? Gaffigan's always in there.

People never tire of food jokes. He went from 50 to 1 and 5 at the same time with the same album. I don't know if that's possible. He's doing the hottest pockets now. They've gotten hotter than ever. Tignotaro's got her bullshit on there. There's lava pockets.

What did you just say? Whose bullshit? Tignotaro's bullshit. I thought you just say? Who's bullshit? It's not necessary. Tig Notaro's bullshit. I thought you were still talking about Jim Gaffigan's album. Like there's Tig Notaro bullshit on that album? I'm mad at everybody else that's there. She hasn't been through enough already, Jimmy.

Take her down a peg. She's moving products. She's moving products. We all have her hook. I love that. She deserves permanent top five status. And if she were here, I'd be embarrassed about the empty seats. There wouldn't be. But you never say who's going to be on the show, right? That's the idea.

Yeah. You guys can't take the empty seats personally. I don't. Actually, my imaginary friend and I are going home and have an imaginary foursome. Wait, foursome? Well, five, six, sevensome. I don't. Actually, my imaginary friend and I are going home and have an imaginary foursome. Wait, foursome? Well, five, six, sevensome. I'm not in. Minus one.

I'm not good at math, but these dorks look like they are. I mean, your fans. Don't attack the ones that are here. I know. You can see why

I don't have a show. Don't attack these dorks, Randy. I heard inside. I just don't hear the word dork enough. Only a dork. A turbo dork. I've heard it enough tonight.

Dork moving products. Great frithology. Outnumbered. Jimmy, what is this album called? It's called Sprezzatura, Doug. I was afraid of that. I mean, I was afraid I'd say it wrong. Can you explain the title without

going too much? Tell us how it ends. With a standing ovation. Damn it! It's too bad you can't hear those. You can hear the feet. People stomp. The cast of Stomp was there. They brought garbage cans.

You hear a lot of trash can lids. Yeah, the whole shot. Sprecitor is the Italian word for... Rehearsed. What's yours called? Pretensial. Feta jagoff?

Kumail, you are not sitting next to Marc Maron. I'm practicing. I'm going to use the same keybounds. You don't need to. Marc's very sensitive. We're friends. All right, go ahead. Sorry.

No, that's all right. Do your jabs, Kumail. No, no, no. All right. I'm sorry. There'll be one empty. I have one more empty seat if this keeps up. I think it's the Indian word for asshole.

Yep. Interrupter. Indian. Anyway. It's rehearsed to look improvised is basically what it is. Rehearsed spontaneity

is what it is. So I was right. He just worked. He's just telling the people what they're going to get. Is that important to get the laugh? Yeah.

It's all I have. Got to be hurtful? What are you talking about, Jimmy? No reason to get. Is that important to get the laugh? Yeah, it's all I have. Got to be hurtful? What are you talking about, Jimmy? No reason to hurt. I told you, I saw Jimmy first time. Don't touch my DVD, please. Don't miss Kumail on Laverne and Shirley on TBS. Turner and Hooch.

Oh, I see what you said. When you said you brought Three of them I thought you meant Three different ones But you brought Three copies of the same No I brought the trilogy The redundant trilogy

Randy Kagan Randy by nature Nobody gets lost By the first To the second Or the third Because they're all synonymous Which is similar to the same

Who's this guy on the cover? That's actually That's my uncle That's one of the top five funniest things you've ever said Why do you hurt me? You look like Bruce Fine in that picture Even Bruce isn't happy with that But how old is this?

It's like three Mississippis Who's Bruce Fine? Bruce Fine is a You can wear him as a brooch. He's little, but powerful. He's a funny comic out of the valley. Oh, okay. His opening line was,

how did Bud Bundy get up here on stage? Yeah, he self-deprecated. And the audience doesn't yell out, you walked up there. He looks a little like Bud Bundy. Yeah, he looks like Bud Bundy. See, that's why I get upset about the empty seats.

It's a numbers game. The people that weren't here would have thought that was hilarious. It was really funny. And you guys just weren't that into it. Like when people are

sitting on the floor, they laugh more. Because they're sitting on a fucking floor. They've got to act like they're into it. Why do you think it's like this?

I think it's gorgeous weather. I mean, it's literally only like 10 more people and it'd be packed. I've been on and off for a few weeks, so it's like people

might get confused about the schedule. Can't you get fillers, you know, like those mentally challenged buses that come by and they fill to the section there? No, we just want people

that want to be here. And I agree that it's a lot to go through for a 45-minute trip. I love the idea that you could just call a number and get a mentally challenged bus. That's how I got here.

It was a lot easier. All I said, I'm going in dogs. And the whole thing, you know, like the guy from Breaking Bad. Why didn't they kill him? He's not, first of all, he doesn't have doubts. By the way, they just doubled their number. I know people were shushing. It's even more annoying.

You really are still waiting to see Breaking Bad? Like, that's what these empty seats are fucking doing. Is they're getting business done, son? They're not shushing people in public for talking about the greatest finale that happened two days ago. Let's get it together. Put some headphones on if you're, you know,

don't go out in public until you've seen it. Yeah, they're generally agoraphobic anyways. Plotot listeners. I thought you meant dorks. I don't know. Yeah, what are you going for? They hate you. Yeah, why do you want them to turn on you?

They already have. I know, I like these guys. I just heard inside. That relationship is one-sided. Their fault. It deserved a bigger laugh, too. You're not wrong. These people suck.

I don't know. I think they're great. Don't suck up to these people. Because you're an ass kiss. You're not wrong. These people suck. I don't know. I think they're great. I don't suck up to these people. You guys are awesome. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. You pointed to guys.

Yeah, that's okay. I love them. I'm not afraid of that. I love you. I love you. How are we doing on time? I love you. I love you. There's an empty seat there. I need a tweet follower.

I need a tweet follower. I can see it on iTunes now. At Fartfuck McGee. The latest Douglas movies didn't have any movie talk. So I'm only giving it three stars. Three brown stars. Not on this show.

Not as good as Bangers and MASH. That was a great porno. MASH especially. It's the show MASH. Graham. Jimmy. I don't know how to distance myself. Jimmy, what do you say when you hear... Don't get me high and wonder

why I act stoned. I want to drag you into it, Jimmy. Come on, man. But what do you think when you hear the word MASH or the TV show MASH? The TV show MASH? I think of the Korean War and the great people we lost. a gaggle ass kisses is that what i i really respect our military and certainly in that war that war really changed our country but you're probably one of the

few people that knows what mash is really about mobile army surgical hospital yeah that's what i was looking for yeah i love that show too i thought masturbation, all, we surely, hey. Wait, what was the third word? I don't remember. Masturbation, all, surely, hey. Hey, okay. You know what? It checks out. I thought it was masturbation, all, with Shirley Hemphill. I think it's a good call to have a really depressing

TV show and then just say suicide is painless in the theme song. That's a good suggestion. When you hear that Colonel Blake died and you're crying your eyes out. They think suicide. These guys haven't seen it yet.

We've got no rendezvous yet. They were over at a Margaret Cho show boycotting. They thought the war was still... Ellen's gay? What? Here's how Randy wins over some people. Randy, for as long as I've known him, has been anti-SeaWorld. I have.

And I fucking saw Blackfish. I know. And I'm on board with that. No, Kirby's a buddy of mine. I, of course, know obscure tree bangers. And this guy, David Kirby, is a... Well, I don't actually...

I fuck trees because I won't tease a tree. If you're gonna hug it, you gotta... You know what I mean? I don't... A lot fuck trees because I won't tease a tree. If you're going to hug it, you've got to, you know what I mean? A lot of these non-committal liberal types. Yeah, because you're right, all hugs should lead to intercourse. Right, thank you.

Why do I waste so many words? I keep teasing Grandma with all those hugs. She's giving her blue balls. No, it's blue cones. They're cones. It's coniferous. If you hug it too long, the cones will glow blue. But just say out loud, Randy, yes, SeaWorld is bad,

and we should stop it. Well, yeah, not to mention Shamu. It's cruel that he's got to kiss spoiled brats all day. You know, he's tonguing them. They don't do that anymore. Did you see blackfish? No, they...

I... No. It's black and white fish, so first of all, which is delicious on Sunday when you go and there's the white fish and then you got the

you got me high on some shit you're wondering why am I asked everybody I asked everybody before the show except for Jimmy

I said do you get high before a show and Kumail said it's not the time not the time but you're down with getting high.

I didn't even say that. Cut! Because everyone can hear this. Embellishing. Then he said please grease me and shave me.

No, I had to go pray and I had to read the Quran so I wasn't under You think the title characters on your show especially one of them doesn't smoke pot

all the time? Which one does? The one that's not the other one. Oh, the one. The one that's not from Saved by the time. Which one does? The one that's not the other one. The one that's not from Saved by the Bell. The little one? The little one. He's a total pot smoker. No, he's not.

Used to be. He is a total like nothing now. Are we talking about Royal Pains? Yes. I wish people watched that show. No, Franklin and Bash is the name of the show. What is it called? Kumar and Kumar? I'm not familiar with it.

I think he just lost all your SeaWorld points. I know, I know. I have SeaWorld points. I'm trying to give you some SeaWorld points. Who kissed a SeaWorld? Was he black or white? Yeah. Now, Randy, you have a chance.

You're like a low-energy Robin Williams. Low career. You're like a low-energy Robin Williams. Low career. You're like half a Robin Williams. Isn't the energy the part that makes him likable? Yeah, thanks, buddy. I'll live with that. You've heard the show, Randy. What?

This show, Douglas Movies. I love this show. Because we're going to find out if you can win everybody over through your Leonard Maltin game play. Are we not going to talk about movies we've seen? I want to hear about some of the ones you've seen, Doug. What have you seen? The Stephen Chow movie.

There's a clock right there, Kumail. Tighten it up according to my... I saw Meatballs 2. You mean also? Oh, yeah, you did like it. I did. No, no, no, no, I did not say. My son loved it, and therefore I liked it.

You said it had fun puns. Wasn't there a... Ah, yeah, there was one fun. There's a leak in the boat. They did that one a couple of times. That's a solid pun. Yeah, it was really nice. There was an actual leak in the boat. A leak in the boat? He peed. No, there was a leak.

No, no, it was like a vegetable. Like a vegetable. Oh, that's good, too. In the boat. I thought it was a urination reference. You know, that's good, too. Yeah. There was a person in a coma in the boat, and they called it a leak. Yeah. That's a fun pun. Worst panel ever.

You're in the middle of it. And I'm part of it. You're a part of the panel. Well, I'm including myself. That's going to get quoted. This is definitely in the outliers. These guys thought it was a learning annex on masturbation. And by them, I think, I thought it was.

Those guys all have girlfriends, I bet. Yeah. They're in imaginary seats. I masturbate, I'm married. Yeah, everyone masturbates. What does girlfriend have to do with it? Okay. I'll get it.

Is there any way to start over? Apologies to him. Put your hands together. From birth? That seems like too far back. How far back? No, we gotta wrap this up because the gentleman that comes all the time

and is another great audience member in the second row, he clearly has, he's gotta go play cards. Oh, yeah. He's got his visor on, so he's got a card game to get to. He looks like he's in the World Series poker.

He doesn't want to drag this out all night. So this is the part where I say, let the games begin, and we're just going to play the one game. And to do that, we need you guys, gentlemen, select your name tags. And we're back!

Hey, you guys have your name tags! Yeah! We've got your name tags. And we're back. Hey, you guys have your name tags. We've got Kumail is playing for Half-Jaked, which is a half-assed name tag. But a name tag nonetheless. It's just written on a piece of paper. That's my feeling. It's just like, do that, you guys. Just have a name tag.

You know, what the hell? It's a total Half-Jaked name tag. That's the new rule. Every seat has to be full and everybody has Just have a name tag. You know, what the hell? It's a total half-jig name tag. That's the new rule. Every seat has to be full and everybody has to have a name tag. So next week's going to be my last show here, because that's not going to happen. Some defiant hipster is going to show up. What about a smaller venue?

By the way, I don't know if you heard, when you said every seat should be full, some guy over there was like, good luck with that. Did you hear that? I don't know what that's about. Anis is never going to like you. It only happened, I don't know where you've been,

but it's only happened for the past four years in a row that every seat is full every week. Why do you do this in a phone booth every night? Oh, you just made that up? No. Oh, he did say that? Yeah, someone said that. Don't piss off Jimmy.

Oh, okay. I that? Yeah, someone said that. Don't piss off Jimmy. Oh, okay. I meant the name tags. Not everyone's going to bring a name tag. And you know, you are right about that, but I kind of said it in my tone, so I thought it was settled. Dorky. I think you upset this entire crowd.

No, I think we're good. It was a bad starting point for laughter and fun, me yelling at everybody. Yeah. But the listeners are going to dig it. Who are you playing for, Jimmy? I think we're doing great.

We're doing fantastic. I'll help you, Jimmy. I'm playing for Justin. Is it Justin? I'm playing for this young man, Justin. You're a show, everybody, except for yourself.

The poster does say what about Justin, so if his name isn't Justin, that's a terrible poster. I already signed it. Narcissism removed it. It looks like Pete. Is it Pete Holmes

that signed it as well? You're about to add a part to this. And Jeff Garland ran out before that show ended. That's right. That's the one where Jeff Garland walked out.

I'm going to say ran. Jeff Garland and ran. Randy. What I'm saying if there was a subway open late. Randy, half of the listeners like him. And who are you playing for?

Hold up your name tag. Oh, Inside Dan. on One Can Only Dream. Inside Dan, okay. That's instead of Inside Man. Or is it instead of Insidious? You said that word weird. Insidious? Insidious?

No, it was like incestuous. Insidious? I don't know how to say it. Insidious. It's insidious. Did you see it? I haven't seen it yet. It's really incestuous.

I saw the first one, but I didn't see... I liked the first one. I didn't see two. Yeah, I thought it was fine. It was fine. I just don't... PG-13 horror is not scary ever.

I just saw this. I thought it was really good. Your next was really funny. I haven't seen that yet. It's really funny. That's R-rated horror, as it should be. It that yet. It's really funny. That's R-rated horror as it should be. It's great.

It's really underrated. People are going to find it on DVD and be like, I wish I'd seen it in the theaters. All right, Randy, I'm going to let you go first. Okie dokie.

You get to pick between three categories. Would you like... I said okie dokie. I heard it. So I out-dorked everyone. Yeah, you're the winner. You are in a whole... Yeah, do you feel like a winner?

Not really I hope this isn't what it feels like Okie dokie At bottom of queue Suggested France says ha And that is A movie that starred Jerry Lewis.

Wow. That's good. Because I was in France. And they love him. Thanks for backing up that premise. Really great story. Thanks. At Net N.

Story's a strong word. Daimler. N. Daimler. Like a chicken. Suggested. Beat me up, Scotty. And that's movies where our friend Simon Pegg hits someone.

Beat Me Up, Scotty. Okay. Yeah. Or, at Evan Dubs suggested 310 to Puma. And that's movies where there's a cat on a train. Love. Mobile.

Any kind of cat. Mobile pussy. Could be a big cat. Yeah, big. Any kind of cat. Mobile pussy. Could be a big, big cat. Yes. Big, big pussy. Big pussy. Which one of those would you like to play, Randy?

I would go with the Puma one. Okay. Then we're going to go to Jimmy and then Kumail. Okay. What do I say? You know how this works, Jimmy. You say you love young boys.

For now, you just sit back until the part where you know it's your turn to jump in. And now's the time to tell the world. The year is 2011, Randy. So don't blame the pot smoke if you don't remember this one. Two and a half stars from Leonard.

He says this movie is about someone whose parents are killed just before his final exam. And yeah, I saw it. I don't remember anything about that. And he also says that it's based on a best-selling novel. And he lists... Books. He lists nine people. Dreaded books.

All the books. And nine people is how many he lists. How many do you think it'll take you to discern the name of this movie that has some sort of cat? Some sort of... Locomotive cat. Cat creature on a train. Like a circus, you'd have a tiger.

But I would say nine. This kind of speculation helps the other players? I know, I'm just thinking out loud. So you should probably... I mean, it makes you seem like a very generous... It's also nine names, nine lives, cats. I mean, what? Good night! Doug just quit. what? Shit. Good night.

Duck just quit. He just quit. Great show. How many names? Nine, you say? Yeah, I think it's a smart opening bid. Jimmy Pardo, can you go less, or do you want... I'm going to go less.

I'll go with eight. He says eight. Oh, God. I knew this was going to be a good Leonard Maltin game. You guys all know what you're doing. Why am I so bad at this game? I've seen so many movies. I never win.

Yeah, I'm horrible at... Okay, I'll go seven. Yeah, that's perfect, Randy. You can make Kumail name it after that statement he just made. I would do it because he sort of waved your you don't know what's going on flag. He did, a little bit. A little bit, you kind of showed your hand.

Yeah, he said I'm terrible at this. A little bit, I said I was terrible. A little bit, I said. I was terrible at. Yeah. I got that subtlety. Yeah. I picked that up. I think you should give it a try.

All right. You have to say, name that movie. Name that movie. Okay. I'm changing it to, give it a try. No, yours is better.

It's so much friendlier. It's like T-Ball. Hey, give it a try. Come on, you guys. It can't hurt. How many names do you get? Seven? Seven.

All right, here's your seven names. I'm not even going to read the clues again. That's the kind of confidence I have in you. You might need the clues again. Ask for them if you need them. James Frayne, Richard... Brake? Richard Brake?

Richard Brake. B-R-A-K-E. On a train movie. Yeah. So we know it's not unstoppable. You know. Mark. Okay, so we know it's not unstoppable.

By the way, we didn't know that. That's a good one. Mark Povinelli. Jim Norton. Not Jim Norton of comedy. Not the guy that rapes nuns. Totally different Jim Norton. Paul Schneider. You know who that is? Yep. Totally different Jim Norton. Paul Schneider.

You know who that is? Yep. Okay. Hal Holbrook. You've heard of him. You've heard of Mark Twain. 2011? Mark Twain's in it?

And your seventh out of nine names is the great Christoph Waltz. What is the name of this movie from 2011? Kumail Nanjiani. Shit. If that's seven, Christoph Waltz, 2011. I'm just going to repeat some things. That's what they do on Jeopardy.

Is it Inglourious Bastards? No, it is not. It's Water for Elephants. You know, a movie with a circus and a train. I've never seen Inglourious Bastards. There's trains. The Jews went up. Oh, here we go.

Oh, there it is. But they were cool cats. They were jazz players. Jews can be cool. Randy Kagan is on the board with one point, ladies and gentlemen. What is Water for Elephants? Have you seen this movie?

I did see this movie. I believe I mentioned that I saw it and didn't remember that his parents died right before his final exam. It's a terrific book. Not a good movie. I didn't care for it, but I saw it on a plane. It's a good book.

Yeah, but you don't get a paper cut during a movie. It was watchable, you know? I'll tell you that. Screw books. Reese Witherspoon, you know? She's good. Yeah, she's terrific. She's fun to look at.

Just that name. Like certain names like that movie that was called Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. I'm never going to see that movie. You're trying really hard. Well, you got me at salmon and then you never left. They lose most people at salmon. Salmon? I'm there.

Most people probably couldn't even tell you that there's no salmon in the Yemen. Can you imagine spawning with a hard-on? No. What are you talking about? I can't imagine any other kind of spawning. Nobody gives salmon credit. You've got to do all that with a boner. I can't even do this with a boner.

I'm kidding, I can. Am. You know what we should do? We should not talk for the rest of it and just see what happens. We do have to play this game. You know what's going to happen. We are just it. And just see what happens. We do have to play this game. You know what's going to happen. We are just quiet and let's see what happens.

It's going to be awkward yet pleasurable. I'm going to get together with these guys. I already regret my decision. You can't help yourself. I was about to be funnier. History's on our side. Alright, so... The guys that aren't here would have loved me.

Those guys were my people. The energy definitely comes down when there's a lot of empty seats and also when I yell at everybody. Yeah, the references to the empty seats. When I yell at them about it, that brings the energy down. The people that aren't here can't even feel the shame because they're not here.

They're feeling it in their earbuds. And they're going to straighten up and fly right next week. Jordan's going to bring, he's going to find a school somewhere and he's going to pretend to be their bus driver when all the kids get on.

He's going to kidnap them and bring them here. And they already have name tags. Very nice. Good, healthy form of carpooling. Jimmy, you get to pick a category. More than happy to do it, Doug. What are my two options, please?

And then after you do that, it's coming right back at you, Randy. I'm ready. What about this guy? You had your chance. You just blew it. Yeah, you didn't do well. And you called yourself this guy.

I'm bad at this game. Actually, you're horrible. That was your quote. Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter if you win. The guy wrote his name on a piece of paper. I really want to win. I really want Jimmy to win. I've got've got justin posters back here great keeping it off the table so it doesn't get moist my pleasure just as an arts and crafts project very proud i don't know where the noodles

and the glue all right let's go jimmy your three categories are at errant paradigm suggested smog life, which is a pun on my album Smug Life. Which is another pun. On Thug Life. Yeah. Smog Life is, of course, Kumail.

Hobbit? Movies with dragons in them. Okay. Great. I'll save us the time. It will not be that way. Okay. Let's narrow it down together.

Really? There's not that many movies with dragons in them. There's more than I know. I know how to train. He's like Kumail lobbying for a category. Come on. He might actually prevail.

Dragons? Let's do, yeah, dragons. You're like a knight. The ones that talk are fine. The ones that... Is it Peach Dragon? Wait, what year is it? Give me the year.

Let's not pre-guess. No, no, no, go ahead. Kumail, who else is celebrating a birthday today? Who else? Did you pick up a USA Today? Today? No, no, no. Go ahead. Camille, who else is celebrating a birthday today? Who else? Did you pick up a USA Today? Today? No. I missed one.

I missed it. Is somebody else's a big birthday? Yeah, Zach Galifianakis. Oh. Birthday to Zach. Our buddy's sad. So it's his birthday, so the films of Zach Galifianakis. Oh, okay.

Nice category. You might know. Okay. Do you want to? I feel like there's no one. You're considering that one? That's in consideration might know. Jimmy, do you want to... I feel like there's no... You're considering that one? That's in consideration out of the two, yes.

And then, at Dead Spoilers, suggested Dutch Oven Lovin'. Yeah. Right? I didn't think you'd care for that. And that's a category where someone farts in bed.

No. You know me. And not necessarily in a motion picture. This is just personal anecdotes. I hate the word There's a bigger overlap Between Zack

And those movies Than Zack and dragon movies And I don't think Anybody farts in a bed In any dragon movie Dig this baby You don't want a dragon fart Although that

The Hobbit had a lot of Like fart and burp jokes Can we stop with the word But they weren't in bed They were all a bunch of dudes Which weren't They were a bunch of dudes Which were dragon No yeah So we're going with Zack No But they weren't in bed. They were all a bunch of dudes. I hate it. Which were?

Dragon? No, yeah. So we're going with Zack? No. What? We're going Dragon. Yes! Oh!

We're going Dragon. Bob and Weed. Because, you know, Zack probably made some indie film that I would not know about. So, Hangover 3? Yeah, I think the one I picked was The Hangover. God damn it.

Very indie. Then I'm back in. Would you like 1981 or 1996 for the year of this show? Give me the years again, please. 81 or 96? Dragon movies. That's 81 or 96. I'm going to go 1981, the year of our Lord.

Yay. And by the way, everything Jimmy's doing now has been improvised. And you can get a whole album of it. Aha! Called Spatula. Nope. Nope. It's called Zarathustra. Nope. Nope. Nope.

Zippity-doo-dah. Nope. Nope. Nope. Randy by Nature? No. That's a DVD. Three stars. This movie got three stars. Sprezzatura has five on iTunes. This wasn't from the people.

This was just from Leonard and his minions. 1981. Right? 1981? Yeah. Okay. The year of his life. He calls this movie an enjoyable fantasy adventure, but we knew it had dragons in it, so what kind of clue is that?

Yeah. Well, it might not be enjoyable. It's worthless. Gave him three stars. This is a drama about two people and their love is dying. He says it has a fine score by Alex North.

Was this a North? Yeah. It's a North. Fine. Totally a North. Not a compliment. He's not as acclaimed as Williams, but North really knows

how to deliver the goods. Mostly British cast, except for the lead. Yeah. That's a good clue. It is, but was it 81 knows how to deliver the goods. Mostly British cast, except for the lead. Yeah. That's a good clue. It is, but was it 81 the one I'm thinking about?

Maybe. We'll find out together. He lists five English people and one American. And then that American. Or maybe more Americans, I don't know,

but he says it's mostly English actors. Most dragon movies are English actors. Yeah, right. They cast dragons, eat English people, they find them to be delicious.

Kidney pie-ish. How many names did he say? Six names. Six names. So I start. Yeah. Six names. Six names.

81 dragon. I'll go nickel. Five. I got to write something down. Anybody write down nickel? Okay. He did write down nickel. I can see it.

He's gonna steal that. Randy? Steal that, you son of a bitch. That's mine. Always has been. I saw Don John. They call hot girls dime. That's a dime because she's a ten.

Yeah, dime. I'm gonna write that down. Yeah, this is nickel. What if someone's an dime because she's a ten. I'm going to write that down. This is nickel. What if someone's an eight? Is it like nickel and a couple pennies? That's yours for the taking. You could coin that one. She's a quarter.

Oh, man. That's why the seats are empty. Hey, don't worry. I already minted it a while ago. Really? One more? I thought we were... After the applause,

that's when you walk away. Nah. Randy. I wanted one more. Jimmy said six names? I said five. Nickel, baby, nickel. That's right.

You didn't say nickel in another? I did start that. Nickel in the penny. You said you could do it in five. That's right. That's pretty confident. Five dollar foot long. That's five Brits without the American,

by my guess. Yeah. I don't trust the English. They make pies out of kidneys when you could use a blueberry. So I don't know a lot about... You don't have to make a statement at this point. I know.

I'm saying my inner thought is I don't watch a lot of English movies because of my bias. Sure. That's your excuse for saying name it Jimmy Pardo? Yeah, I'm going to give it to Jimmy. Give me the five. You can win this whole thing right now if you can't name it. Really? It's over?

It will be because Randy will have two points. I think Jimmy's going to get it. I don't know about that. We'll find out. Here's your five names. The one I'm thinking of is 77. Albert Salmi was in this movie? Andy. It's Albert.

Albert. You should know this about me. I call Albert's Andy when I see him. All right. And it makes everybody uncomfortable. Peter Ayer, as in Jane Ayer. That's how you spell that. Mark.

Peter. John. John Hallam was in this? Jason Idiot Idiot So confusing now It's not helping me

I don't know what you're going to go with this one Ralph Richard Margaret Ralph Richardson you know Yeah double R The King Henry the Crazy or whatever that was called And Caitlin Clark would be the female lead.

Second build. Second in command. One name missing. Possibly an American. For the win for Randy, say I do not know it. I will just... Or take a guess. Is it a movie that you think has a dragon in it?

Is it Peach Dragon? That had some names you might have recognized. Really? Wasn't that a cartoon? That was hell already. It was, but there were people running around. There was? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So who is it? Give me the last name. The reason I wrote down Nickel is because the last name is Peter McNickel. I thought that was a fun coincidence. That is very fun. And, of course, he was in Ghostbusters 2 and Ally McBeal. And the motion picture is called, you were halfway there with the category title,

because it's called Dragon Slayer. They always put the dragon in the name if there's a dragon in the movie. And that means Randy did exactly what I thought he would. He won you over by winning the game. There's a difference between winning them over and winning the game. Come on. People respect good players in this game. Why do you urinate on my parade?

I'm taking a leak. I'm going to go with... And you put a callback on my parade. Which is worse than a leak. I'm going to go with Beach Dragon. Okay, let's take a look once again and see how that plays out. Actually, can I give me a guess?

Dragon Heart. So close, Kumail. It turns out it's Dragon Slayer. Okay, that's another edit we're going to want to do in the show. Where we drop in. Don't trust the dragon apartment 23. I'm just going to tell him now to cut it

but I like to guess dragging my balls on the ground. Slayer. I love the slayer. I think the slayer was necessary. Comma slayer. Slayer. It's a message to the band Slayer. Drag my balls on the ground. Slayer.

Comma slayer. It's amazing what happens when you re-emphasize a different word. Yeah, no, I love it. It Slayer. It's amazing what happens when you reemphasize a different word. Yeah, no, I love it. It is amazing. It's worth it. It's amazing what happens when we have three of the best

Leonard Vaughn game players. And I look forward to doing that in a few weeks. But tonight, we also had a great competition. Now Randy's spanking it

because a lady walked by. Oh, that's a lady? My bad. Is that movie Don John? Is that based on you? Spankers and Mash, my friend. Is that your story? Okay, so an attractive woman walked by and you literally mimed masturbating.

No. Oh, I'm sorry. I just want to make sure the people at home know what happened. You know, so hard that the table was shaking. You can call me anything, but never call me a mime. That's fucking mean. I didn't call me a mime. That's fucking mean. I didn't call you a mime. You said mime. Don't do it again.

Also, it's like on your thigh. I was gifted. I mean, you get what you get and you don't get upset. It's on my thigh. It comes out of your thigh? Is that a gift? That girl's definitely not coming back next week. No, but she will be arriving soon.

We're going to have one more empty. Who are you playing for again, Randy? Inside Daniel. Inside Dan. Where's Inside Dan? Come get your prizes. Good man. Congratulations, Inside Dan.

You did it. Good job. Oh, he wants his sign back. Way to go, Dan. Sorry, he's got some artistic pride there. Yeah, they take the signs back. Somebody else will probably take it. Justin, I'm sorry. He lunged at it. We have time for another game, right? We don't have time for shit. No, we take the signs back. Somebody else will probably take it. Justin, I'm sorry. He lunged at it.

We have time for another game, right? We don't have time for shit. It's over. We're one minute over. A minute ago, we ended. Apologies to put your hands together. Kumail looks so hurt. This is the most devastating episode. You had a chance to win and you missed it. Is there a shithead on the back of the What About Bob poster?

Are they going to go out and losing? He's going to come write one down for me. And he's going to take his poster back. He can play it again. He can play it again in case Richard Dreyfuss is a guest sometime. Hey, Dan, if you want me to sign the DVD, I'll do that for you.

You want me to sign your chest? I'll do that for you. Why are you looking at me? Look at the guy you're talking to. We have negative chemistry. Oh, yes. You guys should think about getting a job at the cemetery, because you're busy digging holes.

Oh, hey, go, go, go. The same woman walks by again, and you do it again. Did you finish the first time? Now I think she likes it. I don't think she's aware of it, but now she is. She's blissfully unaware.

Let's not tell her. I don't like my seat. Why don't you take your seat? I don't like the middle of where I'm at tonight. Oh, really? I'm uncomfortable. Like physically? My hand hurts. Get Kumail's album. Get Jimmy Pardo's album. Like physically? My hand hurts.

Get Kumail's album. Get Jimmy Pardo's album. Thank you so much for coming, you guys. Thank you. Randy Kagan has a... What's your movie? We didn't mention your movie. Oh, Jewphoria.net.

It's Jewy. It's a whole thing about Jewishness. Jewphoria.net. Yeah, it's very funny. It was in the Austin Film Festival. 17 minutes of pure comedy pleasure. A lot of graphics, breasts. Is Jewphoria spelled exactly

how you think it would be? Yeah. J-E-W-P-H-O-R-I-A? Yes. Okay,.org? .net. And yeah, so go get Randy's thing. It sounds racist, but he is Jewish.

No, it is racist. Oh, okay. It is racist. Yes, tell your friends. Be sure to check it out. Thank you guys for coming. Thanks, everybody. Thank you. And as always,

the guests have never been more anxious to get off the stage. to get off the stage. I think that's going to be fun to listen to. That's my opinion. People love it when I get mad at TJ and P. Why wouldn't they like it when I get mad at them while they're listening?

John Balcomus? How's it pronounced? John Balcom. Oh, okay, you wrote is, so I thought that was more of his name. John Balcom. Good old, good old,

sure, yeah, let's do a picture at the end. The guys are back, everybody. No, I take the pictures. You gotta just go ahead and take a seat, Jimmy. I appreciate you coming back for that, though.

You know, we could have done it backstage. Is this still gonna be on the podcast? Is this part still on the podcast? Yes, it's still going! Alright, well, I'm gonna plug my... I'm trying to wrap it up. I'm gonna plug my podcast, The Indoor Kids. It's a video game podcast on the Nerdist Network.

Yes. It's a podcast where you talk exclusively about Wreck-It Ralph. Just Wreck-It Network. Yes. It's a podcast where you talk exclusively about Wreck-It Ralph. Just Wreck-It Ralph. And just Sarah Silverman's performance. Have you done a Wreck-It Ralph episode? Yeah, we talked about Wreck-It Ralph. But for a whole episode?

I love that movie. We talked about it. Especially King Candy. John Balcom. Did you hear this guy John Balcom is a shithead? Did you hear that, Kumail? No, what's this? It's a true story.

Tell me. There's some guy named John Balcom. He's a shithead. What did he do? I'm guessing he's a Republican. What did he do? Yeah, I'm guessing he's part of the whole shutdown. He's a Tea Party.

Who is he? Racist. Oh, he's a racist? Mild racist? Wild racist. A wild racist. I like mild racist. Yeah, I like free range

racist. Just like he's not going to say anything to somebody when he might refuse a loan. Alright, but seriously, after this next shithead, then the theme music comes on, so don't talk anymore. Lock it down! And this person wrote

lest we forget Donald Trump is a shithead yes