Doug Loves Movies - Joe DeRosa, Chris Cubas and Adam Ray guest

Episode Date: February 3, 2019

Live from Hyena's Comedy Club in Dallas, Doug welcomes Joe DeRosa, Chris Cubas and Adam Ray to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, candy babies, sticky seeds With Bindi as a pop-up, curdles in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves foodies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is I Love Movies. Coming to you once again from my favorite comedy club named after a maniacally laughing mammal Hyena's Comedy Club in Dallas, Texas!

Oh my gosh, look at you guys. We're doing it, we're going strong. It's been about 13 months since the last time I was here. We did the Tate Crazy Nights show. Is the lady that won that night, Kat, is she here? Shit, maybe she's passed away. I really did hope that she would come out today so we could acknowledge her because she was on stage with Jeff Tate and Dale Cheeseman. And she won.

She was the winner that night. And that night I said, whichever city has the biggest crowd on this tour, I'm going to go back to, like, almost immediately. Like, I'll come back in, like, three months. And, you know, I'm going to go back to almost immediately. I'll come back in three months. I said that to you guys. This place was sold out, but unfortunately, there was another city that had a bigger

club. Exactly. Boo. It was total bullshit. I'm super happy to be back. and I'm glad you guys are here, and we're going to have a really good time today. It's Saturday, February 2nd, 2019, the day before the Super Bowl,

but what I'd like to see is some super name tags. Dallas always kicks ass in the name department, name tag department. Except for that one guy right there. Oh, I love how you took your design down. Like, oh. I saw that one on the internet today, and that is the most basic Photoshopping I think I've ever seen.

Oh, you blame it on the wife? Yeah, of course you do. Son of a bitch. Wow, there's one white in the back that is beautifully lit up. That's a good job lighting it up. Still can't read it, but boy is that good. And then I saw this Jesse boy, saw that on the internet. He took Tommy boy, changed it to Jesse boy, put my face on Chris Farley which is just like a real good you know like hey Doug watch your watch what you eat it's bad enough as it is don't get don't get that size but I was very excited to see a Tommy boy reference because I'm gonna do a thing with Paramount and a company in Canada where there's gonna be an opportunity for you to watch Tommy Boy with me live on your computer. We'll all watch it together and talk about it, I guess. I've never

done it. I haven't done it yet, but I'll be promoting it like crazy over the next few months because it's in April. But anyway, so many great name tags. Thank you guys for bringing those. You can go ahead and put them down now. You changed eighth grade to eighth George? Oh, Jeff. Well, that's not so bad. Eighth Jeff. It's a woman who's been with too many Jeffs. Doug plugs. Be sure to check out my three other podcasts,

Doug Loves Minis, Dining with D&K, and Getting Doug with High. You might be glad you did. Next Saturday, February 9th, I'm doing stand-up at 420 at the Punchline in Sacramento. And then the next day at the Punchline in Sacramento, the old sack punch, I'm doing a Doug Loves Movies. Both shows are at 420.

And then I'll be in Raleigh, North Carolina at Good Nights at 420 on February 16th. For all of my dates, go to DougLovesMovies.com. That's DougLovesMovies.com. That's DougLovesMovies.com! Yeah! You guys are doing everything perfect today. I don't know what's up. I brought

some fun stuff for the prize bag, I like to think. I got somewhere along in my travels, I got a bag that's got a ghost on it. Don't know why. Oh, the last show from Los Angeles, there was a lady that was on that had donated a lot of money to save the Yorkies. And so she got to be a guest. Her name was Rebecca Laws. And for the prize bag, she brought a copy of Scavenger Hunt. And then after the show she came up to me and said and I brought a copy of Scavenger Hunt

for you. And I took it and I was like in my head, that's going in the next prize bag. And now she's going to hear that and I hope she's alright with it. I'm in trouble next time I go to Seattle.

A Douglas Movies T-shirt. Those are hard to get through customs. Oh, this is fun. I got this from the Funko Pop people. It's like a really, I mean, I don't know why you'd ever wear this, but it's a little baby Pennywise with fucking scary teeth.

And so that's a pretty good shirt, too. And then, oh, got room service today. Didn't use the ketchup, so it's an adorable little ketchup. I mean, because they'd have to throw it out, right? They wouldn't give it to the next person. Or maybe they would.

It's unopened. Oh, I know how to open things and make them look unopened. I've been smoking weed for more than 15 years. And a Doug Loves Movies sticker. All of that from me, plus stuff from... Holy shit, are we happy that all of these gentlemen are in Texas right now? Because these are three of my

favorite guests and very funny men. Please give it up for Adam Ray, Joe DeRosa, and Chris Cubis! Hey. Hey. Yeah, you can share my table. I'll share my table with you. Go ahead.

What do you got there? What is that that just a little uh a little coffee okay that's not a little coffee yeah that's a big one it's a serious amount of coffee I have a heart attack up here there was a bigger option they offered me you know what I know let's table that we'll talk about that in about 90 minutes. That's probably a good call. But let's introduce them individually, starting with the man I've already been speaking to.

It's Adam Ray, everybody! Hey! I'm laughing because I already feel bad for these people seated against the wall over here. Because at best, they get my shoulder and part of your face. And then the other guests are just a mystery. So I always feel bad. So I always try to go as close to the back as possible. But also, there's a crack between the stage and the wall.

So if you go back too far, your chair will fall into it. So be careful, gentlemen. crack between the stage and the wall. So if you go back too far, your chair will fall into it. So be careful, gentlemen. Adam is headlining two shows here tonight. You've been here all weekend. You having a good time? Having a great time. A lot of fun people come into this club. A lot of fun people. And some really

fucked up ones. People like to, you know, when there's a train station outside, people can get shit hammered. Yeah, you're going to get every type of person getting off that train. It's almost like, it's like the train station is like very Walmart-esque. Where you just, you see a type of person, you're like, oh, I forgot we had that guy just roaming the earth. He's probably got a debit card and teeth. There was a guy here last night, he had a american flag tie on his uh on his shirt and uh wait you

mean he was wearing a tie and a shirt or there was the drawing of a tie on his shirt the second one yeah that's what i thought that's what i thought yeah oh that's a good look. Yeah. That guy, you know, he's tired of coasting on the fake tuxedo t-shirt. Yeah. He decided to switch it up a little bit. Yeah. It was funny, too, because I asked him, I go, you for sure have more of those shirts, right? And he was like, no, man, just one.

Just one's all I need. And I was like, I kind of gave him like the Larry David, like, for real. And then he was like, all right, man, I got like six. I was like, why did you lie him like the Larry David like, for real? And then he was like, alright man, I got like six. I was like, why did you lie about that? It's a cool shirt. I don't have to do laundry for six Saturdays. You said he wore it to church. I stand corrected.

Six weekends. Yeah. Also joining us today is Chris Cubas. Hey! You guys are loud. That's fun. Yeah, you get a better reaction here than in Austin.

Those people are very high. They're sleepy at the moment. Yeah, nothing like the straight edge crowd here in Dallas. It's a different kind of drunk. I went to the Irish pub that's over here. What's it called?

I don't know. Trinity Hall. What did you call it don't know. Trinity Hall. What did you call it? It's called Trinity Hall, but Adam before the show tried to call it by something. Tranny Hall? Yeah. What'd you call it?

When you were saying that pub right there. Oh, the People's Pub. Yeah. I was like, I don't think that's what it's called. And then you go Trinity, and then he's looking at me like, I'm fucking crazy.

He's gastropubliting me. There was, oh. Come on! Come on! God damn it. Burn. It's not going to get any better than that, you guys. It doesn't have to

I certainly hope it does Jesus These people paid money to be here We can't just leave them with that There was a guy I was sitting outside having a cigarette Or having a vape, sorry And this guy walked up

Leaned next to the door of the pub And was just like, hey, you know if there's a bar around here? Nice Yes, I think there might be one Pretty close This guy walked up, leaned next to the door of the pub, and was just like, hey, you know if there's a bar around here? He's like, yes. I think there might be one pretty close. That's a hall, dummy. Oh, sorry. And there's three of them. It was weird, because I've never been in an Irish pub

with actual Irish people. I walked in, and I heard just a thick accent. I can't do accents, but this guy was like, if that guy keeps talking shit, I'm going to feed him his teeth. And I was like, that is an Irish thing to say at 3.30 in the afternoon. Even at 10.30 at night. Yeah.

You can get his teeth for half off at happy hour. And also joining us, Joe DeRosa. Hello. Hello. Hello. Doug, good to see you. Dude, so lucky that you're in town.

We're not going to name the other club because, you know, we're at Hyena's. Yes. No, the improv over there. It's a nice room, right? It's very nice. In Addison? It's very nice. There's no, yeah, in Addison.

Did I sound condescending when I said it? Yep. You sounded like a real prick. No, I played there a lot of times over the years, and then I met a hyena. And she just made you laugh and laugh. Yeah, and we've just been inseparable. There's no fun cartoon animal drawings at the improv, are there?

No, and nobody's laughing either, but that's probably my fault. Oh, that's not true. But yeah, it's nice to be here. I've never been to Hyena's. This is a nice place. It's nice to be here. I've never been to Hyena's. This is a nice, it's a nice place. It is.

And they've got, you know, several locations throughout Texas. And yeah, everybody check them all out. Wow. Support live comedy. I think you won the job for the spokesman for all the clubs. I think I really do. I speak well for them. You do.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm psyched that you're here, man. What are the chances? Hyenas, come on down and laugh like a stupid animal. You know, I gave them that slogan. They did nothing with it. That's on them. Yeah.

That's a freebie. But yeah, it was great timing that you were here. A fan that's probably somewhere in the audience. There he is. Yeah, where were you last night? Yeah. I knew that Chris and... What's your name, Adam? I knew that the two of them were going to be on the show.

And so I wrote a tweet saying, two of your favorites are going to be there. Because that's true, right? And then this guy over here wrote back, does his name rhyme with Mo Mimosa? And I was like, fucking Mo Mimosa's in town? And I was very disappointed to hear he met you. But still excited,

because it's great that you're here and can do this. I never realized my last name rhymes with mimosa. Mimosa, right? I smell a comedy club menu drink. Coming soon. Dude, the king of brunch, mimosa. Oh my God, the DeRosa mimosa. Ah!

Make it happen! What is it? Extra bitter? It could be. Well, congratulations, Joe, on still being alive on Better Call Saul. He's the veterinarian on that program. Thank you very much. Doug, you're the biggest fan I've ever met on that show. I you very much. Doug, you're the biggest fan

I've ever met on that show. I'm dead serious. For reals? Just because I watch every episode? I mean, I don't go any deeper than that. No, but you, well, you're the only person I know who is a fan

and also knows that I'm actually on the show because people come up to me after my shows and they go, Better Call Saul, it's my favorite show. Who are you on the show? And I up to me after my shows and they go better call salt it's my favorite show who are you on the show and i got on this vet and they go oh that's my favorite and i'm like get the fuck out of my face asshole you're the one person that actually knows you know but that as a veterinarian and as a as a you know your role in the show is to be a guy that's

you know doing all this fucked up shit for people, but keeping it crazy low key. Yeah. So, like, you're not flashy, so you're not memorable. No, I'm not one of those flashy vets. But those are... Like in the soap operas. You know what I mean? They could have cast a guy that was more distracting and memorable.

Were you up for that Kevin Hart role in the wheelchair Brian Cranston movie? What's it called? I don't know what it's called. Yeah, that was originally a crime thriller. It was originally Bone Collector 2. That's why I had a heist. Right under his nose.

That movie's called The Upside, and I think it's called that because The Upside is once you're done watching it, at least you're still alive Oh my god You can go out and continue living your life Oh boy You know, Brian Cranston and Kevin Hart are great That's just a generic burn

I haven't seen the movie It was released in January So so it has to fucking suck. It was a weird pairing. I saw the trailer, which shows you every beat of the movie. The fucking poster is a spoiler, because it shows him happily pushing the white guy in the wheelchair, and they are not friends at the beginning. They're not.

My favorite giveaway in the movie, because what happened with these movie scripts? Oh, you've seen it. No, no, no, no, no. It's in the beginning. They're not. My favorite giveaway in the movie, because what happens with these movie scripts... Oh, you've seen it. No, no, no, no, no. It's in the trailer. It's in the trailer. But these movie scripts,

sometimes they get written like 30 years ago and then they finally get produced. They get shelved for a little bit. And the giveaway that this was written 30 years ago,

Kevin Hart, who's like 38, at one point goes, man, why can't we listen to some Aretha? I'm trying to honor the dead. What the fuck in here was this written? It's weird that Kevin Hart says no homo

every time he gives him a bath. That's unfortunate. He could have been an Oscar host. I don't know. Doug, did they ask you to host the Oscars? No, I'm waiting for them to finally turn to the world of podcasting. To find somebody to host an international celebration of movie stars. I think we should start a GoFundMe

to get Mo Mimosa to host the Oscars. I'm serious. I said that as a joke, but now I mean it. It's also what you say when you need another. Mo Mimosa. Yeah, and if you say More Mimosa They kick you out Of the restaurant

And the Joe Mimosa Is a mixture of coffee And What's in a Mimosa Champagne Orange juice and champagne That's disgusting Yeah it's not good

Most of the people That grossed out by that Drink both of those things Regularly And they just know How horrible It would be together. What do you got for the prize bag,

my friend Adam? Oh, boy. What do you got for the prize bag, my friend Chris? I have a mild theme. I got the soundtrack to Pretty Woman. I got the soundtrack to

Working Girl. And I have the soundtrack to Working Girl. And I have the soundtrack to Boys on the Side. Oh! Which, by the way, whoever gets this, you need to tweet me when you listen to it, because Whoopi Goldberg has a song on it called You Got It,

and I need to know what the fuck that means. Three minutes of Whoopi Goldberg. It's her just reciting lines from the movie Eddie. It's actually just three minutes of her talking about the Knicks starting lineup. It's just like, you know, Charles Oakley is a real, that's how old I am. I went to Charles Oakley as a Knicks reference. That's a good pull.

I got to shut up. Who's in boys? Those three movies are like a triple bill that doesn't stand up to time. But the songs from it, from them, right? Are those the movies or the songs? Those are the movies. I got, what? Wow.

You brought the soundtracks from those movies. The soundtracks of those three movies. Yeah, yeah. I was trying to say they're all extremely dated movies, but I'm sure the music is as modern as it ever was. Yeah, yeah. Everybody in the audience collectively just thought, does Doug love movies? Well, just the songs from them.

What do you got for us, Adam? Oh, boy. I got... Oh, look at that. So, I got real high last night. Went to Kroger. I got a nice bag of... Got a nice bag of cashew-almond mix.

By the way, a... It's a big old bag of nuts. Yeah. A clerk came over to me at one point. I got a little too stony last night. And I was definitely in that nut cracker aisle. They have the dispensers. You can get lost there.

When you said nut cracker aisle, I just imagined crazy white people. Yeah. I was told... This is where the nuts and the crackers go. Nut cracker is what I search on Pornhub. That's my... That's a good category.

That's my category.'s a good category. I was asked to, I knew I was too high because I just kept taking a few out of each thing and then I just heard a voice go, do you need some help? I'm like, you should never need help filling a plastic bag with... You know.

Nuts? I'm sure that guy was like a part-time life coach. Working at Kroger. And then I got a sweatshirt from my merch. Free hoodie. Wait, you go full sweatshirt with a hood in your merch? Yeah. God damn.

I love owning this. Wait a sec. It's for men and women. What size did you bring? damn. It's comfy. I love owning this. Wait a sec. It's for men and women. What size did you bring? XL. It's mine. You're in Texas. Good call.

Yeah. We were driving here on the highway, and there was a sign that had a picture of a hamburger, a cartoon drawing of a milkshake, and then the words health camp underneath it. Good job, Texas. And also, just some cash, 20 bucks. Yeah, Jesus. Come on, dude, everything's bigger in Texas. Well, I mean, as long as I'm hanging on to stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll trade you back my sweatshirt for that cash. Okay. I'll give you the cash for the sweatshirt. What a great deal we've brokered and Joe I know you were already in Texas when I reached out about being on the show

today what have you come up with for the prize money I got somehow magically without knowing Chris was going to be here or speaking to him I brought a soundtrack even weirder than the three he brought this is a soundtrack to weirder than the three he brought. This is a soundtrack to a movie called Uncle Drew.

Oh, my God. Wait, the first one or the remake? This is brand new. I just bought it at Urban Outfitters. It's on cassette. Cassettes are back in. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah, if they've got them at Urban Outfitters, they're back in.

They just need to fix their windows. I feel like Urban Outfitters, they're back in. They just need to fix their windows. I feel like Urban Outfitters doesn't know its demographic if they have the soundtrack to Uncle Drew. Well, I don't know what demographic this is for. This is a movie that pairs Shaq and Old Man makeup with Nick Kroll. So I don't know who they were going after for this. But here's the funny part. It was marked $13.

I was like, I'll pay the full $13. It's worth it for Doug Loves Movies. And I went up to the register. This movie bombed so fucking bad, the guy goes, that'll be $2. It was $2 brand new. Wow. I'm like a clerk that brings their own opinion into it.

Their own taste, and they knock a few bucks off. I heard it was alright, that movie. I don't know. There's a guy over there. No! So defiant. I thought Ready to Rumble looked like the most ridiculous movie ever. That movie was really funny.

So maybe Uncle Drew's funny. Also, the trailer to Uncle Drew. I'll watch a little Rel dunk on, I don't know. Kyrie? Somebody, a famous basketball player. That's what I'm saying. I don't know who that is. I know Ready to Rumble is a reference.

I'm a wrestling fan. That's what I know. Ready to Rumble's great, and it's got Martin Landau in it, which is odd. That's very weird. Yeah, yeah. It's an odd piece of casting. Everyone's got your back on that. I can feel the whole room going, oh, Martin Landau.

What were they? Those Landau casting discussions. What was that about? May he rest in peace, but... He's dead? Yeah. I'm guessing. Oh, yeah, he's super dead.

Basically, in our country, he's either dead or in Congress. He's an old white man that's doing one of those two things. You know who's still alive that I didn't... This is a fun game. Yeah. It is. It's a great game. You know, you're just like, you assume...

Like, I thought Bob Barker, for sure, had died, but he's still kicking it. Why do you think he died? Because he retired? No, just that you haven't seen him in a long time. Yeah, because he retired. Yeah, but dude, post a couple selfies every now and then. Let us know you're still, you know, get on Instagram. Right?

Yes. Like, I would love, like, selfies of him holding up items in a grocery store. And the caption just saying, I don't care what this costs. He does try to do pricing games on Instagram he comment below how much you think it is i mean he's gotta yell he's gotta yell plinko every once in a while when he's making love to his lady he has to right it's in his contract all right all that stuff is in the prize bag. And, you know, normally I'd move on to the question I always ask everybody. But since Adam Ray is here, and since we invented this on his podcast about last night with Brad Williams,

let's do some first impressions. Fuck yeah. Now this is all of us together trying to learn to do some impressions. So Chris and Joe and Adam, but Adam already knows how this works. Just think of a person that you think is either easy to do an impression of

or maybe people don't do enough impressions of that person. easy to do an impression of, or maybe people don't do enough impressions of that person. And, uh... Sorry, I got scared of doing this bit. I'm not good at impressions. Or some... No, that's the idea. No, I get it. I'm going to be embarrassed.

I understand that scene. No, that's not it. You can circumvent embarrassment by just being clever. And... Because each impression, you can set it up with some sort of lead-in or whatever. And the impressions are

short. Just one word or a noise. Um... Yeah, go noise if you're not confident in the voice. You know? Chris, just name a famous actor. Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. Alright, this is my impression of Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. All right, this is my impression of Tom Hanks. I can't wait for this.

I mean... Oh, boy. This isn't problematic territory at all. You do. I have a no-word Tom Hanks impression. Oh, I love it. Great. You got me off the hook.

I swear to God I have this. Oh, you got to hold my mic. Let me set it up. This is Tom Hanks angrily agreeing with somebody. Oh, shit. All right? So you have to go... Do you mean there's no crying in baseball? Yeah. Whatever. You know what I mean?

Oh, Adam's going to play the other part? Yeah. Or do you mean to tell me your girlfriend's a mermaid? You know, some Tom Hanks movie plot. But I have to agree with you angrily how about i'll play denzel in philadelphia well that's the worst choice how could he disagree with you angrily no no agree with agree with agreeing with well how can you agree with you angry it's like be like i have aids say oh i forgot part of it is you got to be like you got to make it sound like i've been trying to explain this to you for a while.

Okay. So, so, now I gotta do it in itself. Fuck. Just do any, do any, do any other Tom Hanks movie. This is Gary Sinise. Gary Sinise. Every other Tom Hanks movie, he doesn't die of AIDS. Um, so I need to set you up so that you agree with me.

This is Tom Hanks naming his favorite cheesesteak. So I'm going to play left field tonight. That was really good. By the way, that was Rosie O'Donnell I was doing. Thank you.

That was a great exit. You did the Hank Spanx, too. I knew it would come in handy one day. It's a useless bit. And then everywhere else besides right here, right now. I think you could close on that. Hey, let's do it again, but I'm going to be better at the other part. Okay.

Stand up. Good luck. First, I'm not going to do Philadelphia. Serious movie. That's another serious one. Yeah, I know. What's that 9-11 movie he was in? Sully?

He really goes after all the big ones. What's happening to those buildings? I better land this in the Hudson. Just flies right by it. Oh, that's so fucked up. That's so un-Hanks of him. Is he in a 9-11 movie? Yeah, extremely loud and incredibly close or whatever. He's got an autistic kid who loves 9-11 movie? Yeah, extremely loud and incredibly close or whatever.

He's got an autistic kid who loves 9-11. Is that the plot? Is that how it was pitched? I should say the child, I think, was on the spectrum, but also, you know, I'm not trying to make fun of autism. Yeah, yeah. All right, so this is... All right, so who are you?

This is a better setup for him angrily disagreeing. Angrily agreeing. Yeah. All right. Oh, shit. Okay, here we go. So wait a second. So you're trying to tell me that you only have the one red shoe?

See, that's how you do it. That was good. That was good. Let's do one more. Let's do one more. Can you do it, please? The Da Vinci Code. No, I was going to say, so you're serious. You really fought

a volcano? Joe versus a volcano. Thank you very much. All right. Thank you for coming. Thank you for being here. Thanks for sitting over there. All right, so the idea is each of you are going to name a celebrity. I can't believe we haven't done the game yet. Each of you is going to name a celebrity,

and then we'll see. We'll all try to do impressions but you don't have to try to do it if you don't think you can. After the count of three. On zero.

Okay, what? That's always, how many times does that happen in movies where they get the countdown mixed up? It's hilarious.

Because lives are at stake. Three, two, one. Bill Cosby. Morgan Freeman. What? Why didn't you say anybody, Joe? I got confused. I thought the crowd was saying it.

We say it. What, the whole crowd's going to yell names at us? Look, that's overwhelming. I didn't think it made any sense either. We get enough of that at the end. Alright, sorry. I would watch a biopic of Morgan Freeman playing Bill Cosby. I would watch that movie

for sure. Sam Rockwell. He's already been in jail! Alright, so we have... Shawshank? He's been there before, yeah. Sam Rockwell. I mean, if I were a filmmaker in jail with Bill Cosby, I would say, let's do this.

Let's make the sequel. I'll change mine to Christian Bale. That's easier than Sam Rockwell. That's a good one. Sam Rockwell was an interesting one, because he's in that character actor zone with you

of... Where he's been on character actor zone with you. Where he's been on one TV show ever in his whole life. Can't get arrested on anything else. I'm sure that's, yeah, we're just the same. He's always getting that flashy vet rule. Wait, who'd you change it to? I'll do Christian. Christian Bale's a little... Christian Bale as Batman?

No, as Bruce Wayne. Oh. Or, you know, one of those... What about as Chaney? That counts. And so does American Psycho. He only has one voice for a normal, like a seemingly normal person.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he has his Batman voice. All right, this is Dick Cheney eating a particularly pleasing bowl of cereal. Yum, yum. Well, now I want to know what cereal it was. Fruit Loops. Oh, shit.

Dear Hyenas, may I have another Tito's and Soda in this giant glass? I mean, it's not giant, but it's bigger than the one you gave me yesterday. I came by the club last night to see Adam. They gave me a drink in a tiny-ass glass. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

Which one do you want to do, Adam? This is Christian Bale. I'll just ride that Bale train. Realizing that he got the times mixed up for the movie he was going to go see. And so he missed the movie. Okay. Oh, fuck! And then...

Oh, there's more? And then there's this Christian male. There's more to it? Yeah, and then he realizes, oh, wait, I can still go see Sully. All right. Yeah. I knew there was a payoff coming. It's amazing that he's a movie star and nobody knows his real voice

except for when he accepts awards or yells at a guy on the set. Those are the only times he uses his real accent. Welsh, right? Is he Welsh? Australian. Is he Welsh? Australian. Is he Welsh?

I don't know. One of us is way wrong. Yeah, I think he's Australian. Yeah, yeah. No, he isn't. Wow, this is a Christian Bale fan club that just... Okay. He's got some accent going on.

Who do you want to do, Joe? Do you like any of those? Was Christian Bale, Morgan Freeman, who was the other one? Cosby. This is Christian Bale's in The Machinist, right? Yeah. This is Christian Bale in The Machinist. Could you eat? I could eat.

I could have a sandwich. That's great. Does he say that in the movie? No, certainly not. No, he's just very skinny. Oh, wow. He hasn't eaten in a minute. Oh, I get it. Sorry.

Sorry. I'll do... What are you doing? I'll do Christian Bale as Dick Cheney and Morgan Freeman. Wow. Just as Morgan Freeman. Being told by a prostitute all the services they can get.

Like she's going down the menu of like, if you pay this much, you can do this. If you pay this much, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's probably like three things. It's three things, but there's a big price jump in each. So, Christian Bale as Dick Cheney. Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. And then Morgan Freeman. Oh, I thought that was... I thought that was both of them taking turns. Then Morgan Freeman. Sounds good to me. That was great.

Which was kind of Cosby. I thought I... I couldn't remember what Morgan Freeman sounded like at the very last second. All right, here's Cosby at Urban Outfitters finding out that they sell the Uncle Drew soundtrack. Ooh! Yeah!

Oh, that's exactly what I wanted. Oh, man. Selling cassettes to a blind man. That's Urban Outfitters' new slogan. I love how people went, oh, it's sad that Bill Cosby's blind. Wait, what were you lying? In both eyes.

What's that, a Phil Collins song? A Phil Collins new single is Bill Cosby blind in both eyes. I'd probably listen to it just to see what it was about. Do they tell us through the lyrics? Doug is going into something. I thought we might get into

some weird areas with Bill Cosby, but who was the one that you said, Chris weird areas with Bill Cosby, but... Who was the one that you said, Chris? I said Bill Cosby. I'm the worst at changing the subject. Chris, who did you say? Do you have a Bill Cosby? No.

But apparently Bill Cosby is pretending to be a doctor in prison. Has anyone else seen that headline? Apparently he's just diagnosing people in his prison cell because he played a doctor for a while on TV. That's my favorite thing that's ever happened. Yeah, a gynecologist actually. So I don't know what the men are, what kind of advice they're getting from him. Wait, so he's walking up to people? Yeah, his advice is take these pills and call me in four days.

You've got an athlete's foot! All right, man. We're in jail. Chill out. Can't probably do anything about it. No. All right. I like it. Morgan Freeman was the other one, don't you? Morgan Freeman was the other one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't think I have a good Morgan Freeman line. His voice is... Wait. In Shawshank, he's like... When I first met Andy Dufresne. Yeah. That's it. That's Morgan Freeman trying to remember his lines in that movie.

That's Morgan Freeman trying to remember what Morgan Freeman sounds like. Okay, this is Morgan Freeman second-guessing the name of another character in a classic movie while it was being made. Andy Dufresne? Was that his name? Yeah.

I'm not a huge Shawshank person. Some people watch it over and over and over again. Yeah, that one didn't strike me that way. I was like, okay, I know the whole story. Yeah. I think it's an awesome movie, but it's like The Godfather. You don't just throw it on. Like, you're sitting down for a while.

Okay, well, we're going to throw down, because you do just throw The Godfather on. If you meet a person who hasn't seen The Godfather, they need to see The Godfather. If you meet a person who hasn't seen Shawshfather, they need to see The Godfather. If you meet a person who hasn't seen Shawshank, they are living a good life. Fair enough. Because they didn't watch two hours of fucking prison drama. I just mean in the middle of the day if you're alone. You're not like, I'll throw on The Godfather. Sit here for four hours by myself.

It is a commitment. You're talking about the whole saga now. No. You're talking about one and two. The first one's not four hours long. It's like three and a half hours, isn't it? Mm-mm. That's a commitment.

What's your favorite long movie ever? Oh, great question. Too bad we don't have time. This next game we're going to play. Wait, can I do one more? No, I want to answer his question. I was just joking. But yeah, you can also do another

impression after that favorite longest movies really that is a good question i wasn't well you're just like i'll do uh mine's malcolm x i'm like i'll put the time in right now i don't care it's what is it three plus or just three it's about three or maybe three i think it's a pretty lean three though because i you know i only saw it the one time, but it's very incident. There's a lot of incidents. Yeah. It's incident heavy. Yeah, Malcolm X's life was pretty incident heavy. He did some shit.

He did some shit. It's incident heavy is how we describe it in the community. It's three hours of him going, Malcolm A? No. Malcolm B? No. No. No. Deer Hunter is an interesting long movie because you could just start an hour in

and be like, okay, so some people got married and now the story starts. Yeah, that's got a long lead in that one. Way long. Way too long. I mean, it's good. Maybe Zodiac? That's not that one. Way long. Way too long. I mean, it's good. But, um, shit. Maybe Zodiac? That's not that long. How long was that? I think it was like 245

at least. Right? Am I crazy? That movie's real long. It's really long. I like that you were like, I have no idea, and then also nodded yes immediately afterwards. Just like, I don't know. Yeah, that sounds right. Sounds right. Sounds right. You bring up something vague, she doesn't know, you give her a number. Mm-hmm. Sounds right. Sounds right. You bring up something vague, she doesn't know, you give her a number.

Mm-hmm. Sounds right. But yeah, that's a great question, favorite longest movie. Gladiator is a good one. That's not that long. Yeah, it is. Settle down. It's like five hours.

No way. It's like 220 maybe. Which has become a thing that I don't like i don't like that superhero movies are all 220 230 it's just like it's too much you know it's like come on you're making a million you're making so many of these movies why they have to be so long i hate it this is 220 we had to get the paul rudd scene in there what if he's the lead of that movie Joe I don't know if you understand they have to let Paul Rudd be an Ant-Man I just mean like

I'm not picking on Paul Rudd I just mean like these Marvel movies are like well we have to get the scene in where the fifth lead from Doctor Strange 2 shows up just cut a couple fucking characters this thing's 90 minutes we're in and out it's too long

I didn't say it was a funny opinion No, but you could run for mayor on that platform Yeah That's Mo Mimosa as a veterinarian Talking about too big of a dog dick Just cut it out It's too long I felt it got a little Seinfeldy You did, yeah You big of a dog dick. Just cut it out. It's too long.

I felt it got a little Seinfeldy. You did, yeah. Can we cut a few people out of this movie? Nobody cares about Ant-Man. Why are you running? Have you seen these superhero movies? We're doing 220 now? I'm going to do 220? Watch a guy in pajamas throw webs around?

And Bill Cosby's telling people they have athletes put in prison. This game might become the whole show. Or maybe it's time for a spinoff podcast. First impressions. And I just force people to try to do impressions. It's fun. I like it. I got a Morgan Freeman.

I love it. There we go. What's the setup? So the setup is Morgan Freeman is about to watch Home Alone 3. But he thinks Macaulay Culkin is in it. So you can only imagine the disappointment that Freeman endures. And by the way, Freeman Endures is a movie I'm trying to get going. It's actually a documentary about him being disappointed.

All right, here we go. So he thinks Macaulay's in Home Alone 3, here we go. God damn it. It's a quick one, but you get what's happening. Alright, now here's my Christian Bale that I like to bring up every time Christian Bale comes up. All right, now here's my Christian Bale that I like to bring up every time Christian Bale comes up. In Dark Knight Rises, there's a scene where he's talking to Catwoman and she's suddenly not there anymore,

which is something Batman does to people all the time. And when she disappears, he says to himself, So that's what that's like. He says the fucking voice to himself. Oh shit. Yeah, somebody pointed out a couple scenes to me in Dark

Night. Oh, it makes no sense. They're like, he's just with Alfred. Why is he still talking in that voice? They're like, he's just with Alfred. Why is he still talking in that voice? I know that you're Batman. Bruce Wayne, do you know who the Batman is?

I've got no idea. I mean, it could be anybody. How many versions of that Batman voice do you think he went through? I don't know, but what's his name? Nick Cage's Adam West impression in Kick-Ass is the best Batman. It's so good. Do you have any more? Anybody else?

Joe's got another one. For these three? Oh, yeah. Morgan Freeman. This is also Morgan Freeman, again, with the prostitute he's by himself this time she runs down her menu of things

dandy oh fuck dandy that's good that's real good that's a word he'd say when she lets him pull over to pee.

In Driving Miss Daisy. I need to make water. All right, go ahead, dandy. What was the last movie you saw, Joe? Well, funny enough, I think the last movie I saw, Joe? Well, funny enough, I think the last movie I saw was The Perfect Bid, which is a documentary about The Price is Right. Yeah, just watch that.

Yeah. So good. Which Bob Barker gets interviewed in, and I also was like, holy shit, Bob Barker's still alive? He's like way in his fucking 90s. But I was surprised, too. When you said that, I was like, when you said that I was like that's weird I just watched that movie but it's a documentary

about a guy that was so obsessed with The Price is Right he would watch it every day and then he started to notice that products would be repeated so he started to create a data bank of the products and the prices and he eventually amassed every product and every price they were ever

going to run on the Price is Right. And then he created a computer game for himself so he could remember the prices where he'd quiz himself. Then he would go to the show and the thing would come up, the washing machine, and you can bid from the audience

for the people competing and he'd be like, $787.85. And the people would do it, and they'd be like, you got it right on the nose! Because it's not illegal. It wasn't illegal. But then they eventually figured out that he did that,

and now they made it so you can't do that anymore. Who can't do it? There's an audience yelling the whole time, or they just yell higher or lower? They don't repeat the products anymore, so you can't memorize. Because they figured out finally the guy that got in all the news stories that beat the prices right did that because he listened to this other guy in

the audience and it was like a scandal they thought they were like cheating and so they yeah they just changed it cheating yeah all right but it's a cool documentary i don't want to live in a world where you can beat the prices right i don't want to live in a world where you can beat the prices right. I don't want to live in a world where you can't cheat on game shows. What am I doing? I mean, it comes down to two people at the showcase showdown. So, like, somebody's got to win. That's my motto. That's your philosophy?

Yeah. Give it to one of those two. You know I rushed the stage during a taping of The Price is Right? What? Yeah. My sophomore year of college, it's a quick story. I went with a big group from acting school. And if you go with 20 or more people, you're guaranteed to get one person

called to contestants row. And our friend got called at the very end. So we only had one chance to get up there. And it was like these primetime shows. All the prizes. Instead of like a dinette set right out of the gate, it was like a trip to the Bahamas in an Escalade. and it was like these primetime shows all the prizes instead of like a dinette set right out of the gate it was like a trip to the bahamas and an escalade and it was like the 8 30 on a tuesday night and barker was uh still hosting and so he gets one chance and he doesn't get it he gets one dollar and uh my buddy's like dude you know we were at multiple pot brownies and bottles of jack daniels and so i was real fucked up sitting there and he's like you should

rush the stage whoever wins the showcase showdown and it was this big black dude named Derone and this little old lady named Ethel or some shit. And Derone won. And all his friends are on the other side. And we're on this side. And my buddy pushes me out of my seat. And I run down the fucking come on down lane. Which, by the way, that was just so exciting in itself. I definitely took a moment to be like, it's fucking my turn.

And a little double dick action. Real quick, though. I can't send you back if you double dick. Real quick, one question. This is a short story? My bad. Anyway, I run up to the top of the stairs and there's a security guard right there you can't see on TV. And all she did was say, what are you doing? And I go, that's my best friend

in the whole world! And she was like, sounds good to me! And I ran through and I started hugging the dude and I sat in his escal world and she was like sounds good to me and i ran through and i started hugging the dude and i sat in his escalade and did that and uh it's on youtube you should try that same thing with the rolling stones you know like mick jagger's my best friend in the world yeah yeah but that's cool i mean isn't it weird when you go to prices right how tiny that room is so small it looks giant on tv it's like when you're a Price is Right how tiny that room is? It's so small. It looks giant on TV. It's like when you're a kid and Toys R Us feels so big.

And then you grow up and you're like, you know, first of all, you're like, why am I at Toys R Us? I'm an adult. But that stage was so, the energy though. Why am I at Toys R Us? I'm an adult and they don't exist anymore. Oh, this is a quiz nose. Oops. But yeah, the energy in that taping was like fuck dude it was you know and this was still

when barker was hosting so it was and rod roddy was there who hey listen you're gonna be impressed when you figure this out the announcer was there he was there the guy who announces the show was there and he announced it remember the guy that was come down! This other guy is just saying come on down as a cheap rip-off of Rod Roddy. Rod Roddy had such a unique... Learn your history, man! He had such flashy

jackets. What was the last movie you saw, Chris? So I've been trying to catch up on Best Picture nominees. Oh, I like it. This last week I saw The Favorite and Aquaman. Wait, you don't think Aquaman's a Best Picture nominee? Nominee? No. Best Picture? Maybe. It's pretty good.

Is it good? No, it's terrible. It's actually fine. It's fine until... You guys have seen Aquaman It's a movie that makes you so schizophrenic Because you don't love it or hate it So it's hard to be passionate one way or the other But you still want to talk about it

I do because it's actually pretty fun And then Manta Whatever that villain The guy that looks like a mighty morphin Power ranger villain that shows up Halfway through the movie And he jumps down and stomps the ground And goes a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger villain that shows up halfway through the movie. And he jumps down and he just stomps the ground and he goes,

and I was like, your arms can't move. You are in a children's Halloween costume. Why is this happening in a multi-million dollar film? Sorry. Apparently you guys love Aquaman. I apologize. I'll shut up. The favorite is awesome. I think they saw Aquaman and didn't pay attention

to anything that was actually happening. They were just like, this seems alright. This seems like they're underwater. It's pretty fun. I watched it with Korean subtitles because I stole it on the internet. Whatever, it's fine. Momoa is like the new rock.

No, he is not. No, I mean he reminds me. No, I mean, he reminds me... Sorry, I cannot abide this rock slander, sir. I can't stand for it. He reminds me of early rock. Go back and watch some early rock. He wasn't completely... Charles S. Dutton.

Completely rocking it right away. That's who I think. Charles S. Dutton. One person clapping for Charles S. Dutton. Yeah, there's a TV show called Rock and it starred a man who was a murderer. That's a stone cold fact. He was in jail for murder.

He really did murder somebody, did some prison, came out. Got a sitcom. Maybe in prison he learned some acting skills and they got a TV show. You guys don't believe us. It's fucking true. That's what I would say whenever somebody brings up Dwayne Johnson now.

It'd be like, oh, you mean the second rock? You mean backup rock? And then you watch that show, The Titans, and they call him DJ. They call Dwayne Johnson DJ. Can you imagine? I wouldn't call him that in a million years because as soon as the camera stopped rolling,

he might fucking beat me to the ground. No, that sucks. Seriously, it does. I would call him The Rock if I met him. I call him Sir if I met him. I'm just trying to live. Does he hate when people call him Rock Dog? Is that what you said?

Be careful? Hmm? Does he not like when... I think he's moved on. He likes DJ and Dwayne and... He likes Dwayne? Johnson. What's up, Johnson?

He knows the line between the two because there was a WrestleMania two years ago where he came out as Dwayne Johnson and his whole thing was like isn't this great gang we've got 300,000 people it's the largest attended

and we were watching it like this fucking sucks fuck you Dwayne Johnson fuck you and then this guy Bray Wyatt came out

and challenged him and he ripped Dwayne Johnson this is the awesomest thing I've ever seen he rips off his pants and he's in the rock tights

and he transformed like that into the rock. He went from like, alright shucks to, I will shove it up your ass sideways! I was like, this guy fucking rules. It was awesome. I just got chills telling that story.

I'll never say another thing about Rampage and Skyscraper being the same movie, but one of them has an extra monkey. What was that kid movie he did? He did a kid movie? He did a couple. Tooth Fairy? Tooth Fairy, that's right. And Witch Mountain. Nice.

He's in Drive to Witch Mountain, whatever the fuck it's called. Oh, Escape from Witch Mountain. No, it's Drive to Rich Mountain. But they did an interesting thing with the reboot. They spelled it W-H-I-C-H. And it was a mystery of where they were coming from. Witch Mountain. What does Witch Mountain even mean?

Like, witches live on a mountain? Seems like weird. Seems like weird to see witches who hike. Witches who love the outdoors. Witches Who Hike sounds likees Who Love the Outdoors? Witches Who Hike sounds like a reality show waiting to happen. The Witches of Witch Mountain is a great, let's call SNL. Did I ask you what your last movie you saw was? No.

Give it to me. I took my nine-year-old nieces to see Mary Poppins. Returns? Yeah. Okay. How'd that work out for you? It was pretty good. Yeah?

What was your favorite part? When Dick Van Dyke danced. Yes. Spoiler alert. Yeah, he's old, and he comes out, and he dances. Yeah, and then we had this debate whether or not it was CGI or if it was really Dick. I'm afraid it might be. I had a nickel for every time I had that debate.

How much would you have? 45 cents. Sounds about right. One of my nieces thought it was fake. Wait, how old are these kids? Nine. Big diagnosis murder fans? Why do they know who Dick Van Dyke is? Because I told them.

Okay, that makes sense. After I showed them Two Girls, One Cup. Look, you need to show them what's popular. How old is that, the Two Girls, One Cup? How long has that been a thing? Great question. At least ten years. Yeah, it's gotta be ten, right? Yeah. More than a decade?

We're coming up on the anniversary of it. I mean, why are we celebrating? Why are we every year doing a nice two girls, one cup? I get starstruck when I meet someone that hasn't seen it. Did you ever see one girl, two cups? Yes. Wait, what?

You just might say yes, you totally stepped on my punchline. But Poppins was okay. She did a good job. Wait, what? Mary Poppins. Oh. I'm glad we put a little bow on that. I'm glad we put a little bow on that Did you think Poppins was the name of the actress

In Two Girls, One Cup? I was like, she was pretty good Her name was Poopins, folks There it is, there it is All weekend at the improv That's what you'll see in Addison They used to do that They used to do that with pornography That's what you'll see in Addison. They used to do that.

They used to do that with pornography as there was always all these movie parodies that had like dirty puns of the titles. And they don't do it anymore. Now they just go, hey, it's a Star Trek parody. And then they just do Star Trek. Some of them are so funny. They were so great. Like it was such a great well of comedy.

My favorite whatever is... Let's each do our favorite. My favorite whatever is Bright Lights, Big Titties. Yeah. Michael J. Fucks. Oh, what? He did that movie, right? Oh my God.

Would that come out around the time of Back to the Future or something? A little post, right? Yeah. It came out right when Bright Lights, Big City came out. Seriously, no, when the movie came out of it. Oh, I see. I thought Chris was saying another one, but he was just saying. No, Michael J. Fox is in Bright Lights, Big City.

Exactly. Now I get it. There you go. God damn it. Do you know one? Do you know one of those old porn title parodies? I'm trying to think. Oh, I watched

the comedy show in Austin called Peep Show where we watched old pornography and joke over it. And we watched Edward pornography and joke over it and we watched Edward Penis Hands. Oh my god. Points. Points. Adam?

Wasn't there one called Jurassic Cock? If there wasn't there should have been. It seems like maybe that might have been a little late because it just suddenly stopped happening. They stopped doing those titles. But the one that I enjoyed a great deal

was The Poonies. I've watched that. Oh, that is good. That's just so dumb. So great. Alright. Can I get a single vodka soda With a lime

And a tall glass Thank you Can I have a water And a diet Just a water It's a good idea Joe You gotta dial it down a little I gotta do two shows today

You were drinking coffee And now water Yeah I was drinking coffee Not water And you know I'd love to have a real drink But you know I gotta get on stage tonight

with these puns, and it's hard to remember a lot of puns. It's hard to fill 60 minutes with puns. I don't know if you've ever tried to do it. Talk to my stepdad. That guy is just pun city, man. This is the point of the show where I say Turn it off Bert

Let the games begin Everybody's been waiting so patiently Like Doug you're gonna run out of time With all these bullshit impressions And terrible rock jokes. Oh, I like that one over there. We'll be right back.

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promo code dlm to try it free blue chew thew, the better, cheaper, faster choice. Back to the show. All right, we're back, and that was very civilized. Oh, there's a gentleman leaving. His name tag didn't get chosen, so he's like, fuck all y'all. Fucking out of here. That's not the guy with asthma, is it?

Yeah, there's a guy going, I thought he was going to die. All right, so who are you playing for? I'm playing for Madison-in-law. Why'd you pick that one? Because I fucking love this movie. Do you love the entire Pauly Shore oeuvre or just that one? Because I'm not going to lie to you.

I love Encino Man. Encino Man is probably the king of that ship. And then there's... Biodome's great. In the Army now is a sleeper. Just because it's got the girl from A League of Their Own in there. What's her name?

It does? Lori Petty, thank you. Gina Davis is his buddy. But yeah, you look good as Pauly in this. Oh, I do look good as Pauly. I'll take his career. Great. Who are you playing for, Chris?

I am playing for Tinker Taylor, T-A-Y-L-O-R, Soldier Spy, because it's a fucking painting. This is a full-on, it's on canvas and framed. And it's already got signatures by me and other guests. A bunch of grandmothers signed it.

Apparently I've signed it at some point. I'm always drunk, so I don't remember. But also, yeah, a lot of people signed it. So yeah, it's very good. Good job, Taylor. That's impressive. Good job, Tinker. Who are you playing for, Joe?

This is Creature from the Blake Lagoon. You're Blake, right? I assume, yeah. And it's a cool poster. I took it because, man, you looked like you were going to be real sad if I didn't take it. And I felt bad, man. I was like, I've got to take this. It's very good.

Yeah, it's good. Oh, you did it. Okay, okay. He didn't mention that. Notice how he didn't go, she did it. He just goes, thanks. Oh, no. He said she did it when I was pointing out how shitty I thought it was.

You think it's shitty? I mean, look at it. Yeah, it's pretty bad. But good for them, I say. Oh, they included Donetti's. Oh, Jesus. Came with a bribe, so. That explains a lot. Crack those open.

Yeah. Good job, Chris. Get into the Donetti's. Because this audience looks like they're hungry. I've wasted so much time this show. Might as well waste some more time. looks like they're hungry. I've wasted so much time this show. Might as well waste some more time. I just saw a flash like 20 years from now and this is how you close your show.

Who wants a chocolate donut? Where's that first guy? There he is. You, you, you, you. I didn't come up with that. If you do that again, I will murder you. I'm putting it right in your fucking hands. That was a fastball. He's throwing some dartsarts This guy just opened his mouth

Are you kidding me really Alright dude I'll give you A nice lob Take his glasses off I'll keep doing this all fucking day Yeah Oh No he missed it

Come on dude I'm hitting his face Yeah. Oh. No, he missed it. Come on, dude. Oh. I'm hitting his face. Getting real close. One more. Here we go. Oh.

All right. It's not meant to be. Just eat it off the table. It got where he needed to go. It's not you judge who's cut off in Texas. You can't catch a donut in your mouth. No more drinks for you. Earl, you couldn't catch a damn donut now. Going home to your wife now.

You can keep them over there. I'm not going to do that. All right, you guys. Let's do this. We're going to start with a game. Oh, wait. Everybody said who they were playing for, right? Okay, good. I thought I skipped that part. That's bad. Let's start with a game called Live, Die, Repeat.

I'll say the name of a motion picture. The first one of you on stage that repeats it back correctly is the winner. It's that easy. Anyone can win. Have you played this game before, Adam? No. You haven't? No.

Okay. I'll figure it out. Joe, have you? I don't think so. Chris has Yeah Sounds like you love it Alright here we go

North North Oh that is a movie That's a movie right? Am I not crazy? Elijah Wood right? Yeah That's not the one he thought of

Not the one I'm looking for Oh North Dallas North Dallas. North Dallas 40. That is it! All right. Good job. Starring Nick Nolte and singer Mac Davis

as professional football players who take a lot of drugs. Yeah. I haven't seen it in a long time, but I bet you nothing's changed. The Percocet game is still strong amongst people who smash their heads into each other for a living. And let's smash our heads, you guys. Let's get crazy. Let's play ABCD's Nuts!

It's fucking Groundhog Day. Not only a great movie, but also a day where a thing happens that's all made up and doesn't matter. I guess he didn't see his shadow, Pakistani Phil, so spring is coming any day now. In fact, here in Dallas, it's going to be 79 degrees on Tuesday.

It is, it is, yeah. That's one of the things I love about Texas, just weird hot days in the middle. In the fucking middle of winter, it'll be 80 one day, and everybody will be like, all right, we'll take it. We heard the rest of the country is freezing, so we're good. And we're going to spell Groundhog Day. We're going to start with Chris, who won that game,

and then we'll go to Adam and then to Joe. And all you've got to do is I'll name a letter from the words Groundhog Day, And all you've got to do is I'll name a letter from the words Groundhog Day, and you just name a movie that begins with that letter to stay in the game. But if you match the title I wrote down ahead of time, you win this game. Which I'm hoping will happen. That was Adam for the listeners. Which I'm hoping will happen because we've got to move along to our last game.

So do good on this, you guys. Yeah. The first letter to Chris is G. That is correct. Our next game... Is that for real? Did I get it? That is what I wrote down

for the letter G. Wow. What did you say? Which one? U.S.! U.S.! U.S.! Did I write it down? U.S.! U.S.! Wow.

Which year? It's real. Oh, shit. That's a good point. Which year? Oh, fuck you. Which year, Chris? Yes. Do I have to know the actual year can i pick the film

say old or new old that's the one because i mean he was he was in the new one too but i think of bill murray is the star of ghostbusters yeah i went down the line just named it's all movies that feature that are feature someone that was in groundhog day so it was rock the casbah osmosis jones unstrung heroes nothing lasts forever uh you get the idea wow sorry had a look for going short tonight it gets into some obscure shit, like Bill Murray was in a movie called A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan the Third. I'm a huge Bill Murray fan, but I had no

idea until I did a little research. But no, Chris, you've got us right back on schedule. Now we're only five minutes behind. Okay. Yeah, and thank you to everybody who wrote to me saying you had suggestions for Last Man Stanton. But today, the final game is going to be a round of Bennington.

Where... Super fun game if you're on this side of the crowd. That side didn't care so much. Oh, that one guy. That one guy's into it. I'll name an actor actress and then you uh who chris won that last game too so chris you get to go first and then we'll go to joe and then we'll go to adam and the idea is and i'll shift each one of you get a chance to go first in this game

because that's really the the pole position i'll name a actor. You say what you think is in their top three movies of all time according to box office mojo after adjusting for inflation. So like if I name somebody from Gone with the Wind, that's going to be fucking number one because that movie is huge, but people only paid 15 cents a ticket. Of course, also I should mention I will not be mentioning anyone from Gone with the Wind because that's some old ass shit. Now, just human actors, not animal actors.

Oh, that's a great idea, though. All right. Fongo, it's Fongo, right? That might happen. Bongo. It's Bongo, right? That might happen in the future. Because, you know, as much as I don't like animals being forced to do anything, I do love animal actors. I love that we call them actors. They are. They're so good.

They're so good. The dog Marley and me was great. They do a good job. Man, I watched the trailer for that new dog movie. What is it? The Dog's Purpose? Or no. Yeah, we were going to see... Dog's Way Home? The Dog's Purpose, right?

Dog's Way Home, is that it? They're going to make a movie called Dogs, apostrophe, whatever. They're going to make as many of those as possible. They're all just called... Because people are fucking suckers for it, even though you're going to have to watch a dog die. Yeah, they're just called Make Chris people are fucking suckers for it. Even though you're going to have to watch a dog die. Yeah, they're just called Make Chris Cubist Cry.

That's what those movies are called. 12 o'clock in the afternoon on a matinee. The next one in the works is A Dog's Dog. And it's about a dog's friend. It's about a dog dealing with the loss of another dog. Finally! His pet dog dies.

How rich do you think the Air Bud dog is? Oh, he's dead as shit. Wait. From like 1990, that dog's dead as fuck. We still have Bob Barker, but we lost Air Bud. Yeah. Alright, today sucks.

Guess Air Bud's age without going over, I say. He's gotta be still alive. He's got to win the badminton tournament. All right, Chris, there's no wrong answers, just ones that don't get you any points. Okay. What do you think is in the top three,

hopefully number one, because that's worth the most points, of actress Rashida Jones? Ooh, movies. Everyone's like, oh, she's in movies, but more known for TV.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, she's in that movie with Jim from The Office. Oh. That I can't remember the name of. Oh, she's in that movie with Jim from The Office. Oh. That I can't remember the name of. Oh, I'm having a baby, and you're wearing a jacket from a thrift store. I don't remember what it's called. Rashida Jones is...

Is that your final answer? Yeah. No, it's not. Rashida Jones is... The audience has a lot of ideas. They're saying words, and I'm trying to shut up. A lot of chatter. I can't words and I'm trying to shut up. A lot of chatter. I can't think of a single Rashida Jones movie.

That happens sometimes. I'm out. I got nothing. I can't say I blame you. Shut up! I don't like this lady whose picture I took giving me shit. I just won that game in one. Give me a goddamn minute, would you? Come on, lady.

It just sounds like you're chanting U.S. Which, yeah, I like it here, but... Can we steal? No, you get a turn. Okay. All right, but it's Joe's turn first. The only movie I can think of is the one with her and Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. What's it called?

My New Best Friend. Don't tell him. Don't tell him, you guys. Hold on. The New... Hold on. The Best Man? Not even the person whose name tag he chose.

All right, we're going with The Best Man. Adam? The Social Network. Okay. That's a good... That's probably right, we're going with the best man. Adam? The Social Network. Okay. That's a good, that's probably it, though. I feel like it. That's got to be. That movie made a lot of money.

It's definitely made more money than the best man. Coming in at number three, The Muppets. She was in The Muppets. Okay. Yeah. But number two, good job, Adam, The Social Network. Finally. So you get two points for that, Adam.

And then number one was Dr. Seuss' The Grinch. Yeah. That one that just came out made so much money. Oh, the 2018 animated Grinch. Yeah. It made so much money. Oh, the 2018 animated Grinch. Yeah, it made so much money. It's her number one movie. That's crazy. The one you were thinking of, Joe, was at number four.

That was Broke Man. Oh, that's right. All right. I love you, comma, man. Here's Morgan Freeman finding out that he lost a voice role for the new Grinch. Oh, come on. He lost out to Rashida Jones. This is Morgan Freeman's reaction to your impression of him.

Oh, come on. That was good. I felt like he was here. All right, so... What happened? Adam's got two points, and Joe and Chris need to get on the board. And we'll start with you, Joe,

on this next one. And then go to Adam. The films of Benedict Cumberbatch. Okay. Doctor Strange. Okay. Fair enough. Adam.

Adam. Fuck. What's that one where he's... This isn't... That's not how this works. What's that one where he's, uh... This isn't, that's not how this works. What's the one where he's like, uh... Because someone in the audience will tell you. He tries to fix, like, the spot.

Exactly what you're looking for. He's not a spy, like, there's a polygraph or some shit. No, uh... Um... I mean, you could pass, you know. Chris passed on Rashida. No, um... Uh... I mean, you could pass, you know. Chris passed on Rashida. No. The Post?

The Post? I mean, maybe one of those fuckers was British in there, but I doubt it. Not true. New York Minute with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen? That's a better guess. Allsen. That's a better guess. All right. That's a better guess. I'm going with that.

A young, unknown Cumberbatch probably showed up in that movie. Joe, what do you think? I already went. Joe already went. Okay, but seriously, what do you think, though? Chris? The porn parody of New York Ben.

Ben the dick cumter snatch. That deserved more. That was great. Also, it's got to be Doctor Strange. It's one of the other one is the

Star Trek one, but I can't remember the full title. Oh, okay. Sounds like you're out then, dude. Yeah, 100% it sounds like. You're right. You know how they have those porn movies where the lady's pretending to be asleep?

Yeah. I don't know that. Serial killer. What porn do you watch? You know those porns where a girl doesn't move? Do you hear Chris's reaction right now? watch? You know those porns where the girl doesn't move? You're lying. Do you hear Chris's reaction right now? That's the reaction of a man that only

watches those videos. Exactly. What? I was not watching it! Yes, you were. Oh, shit. I mean, I don't really love getting into politics on this show, but who the fuck, who has something on their page in the high school yearbook that they don't know was there at the time, right?

Like that guy's like, oh, that's not me in the picture. And I didn't know they put that picture on my yearbook because I didn't buy a yearbook that year. As a man that didn't go to college, who knew they had yearbooks in college? That's his med school yearbook? What world do you live in? I think the people in the college are aware of the yearbook,

especially when he has his own page and he's asked, what should we put on your page? And he chose a picture where somebody's in blackface and another guy's in a Ku Klux Klan thing. Yeah, it's rough. I don't know. He's like refusing to resign. I'm like, just, dude, do everybody a favor.

Are you poor? Are you poor? Will you be destitute if you're no longer a governor? Is he a governor? I don't know. Did you governor? Is he a governor? Yeah. Did you say, is he a veteran?

No, I said, is he a governor? He's a governor. Yeah, he's a governor. Nope. He judges all governors. You were kind of right. All right, did you guys all guess on Slumber Snatch?

Yeah. By the way, if it's New York Minute, You were kind of right. All right, did you guys all guess on Slumber Snatch? Yeah, yeah. Okay. By the way, if it's New York Minute, I'm buying everyone in here a shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop cheering. I love how excited you guys are for the fact that a British actor

who came to prominence in the last few years is in a movie a couple of decades ago about a couple of children running around New York. Is that what it's about? That was number one. Just kidding. Oh, man. What an emotional roller coaster. Yeah.

His number three is The Hobbit, The Desolation of Smaug. is The Hobbit, The Desolation of Smaug. His number two is one of my top three favorite superhero movies of all time, Thor Ragnarok. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and his... God damn it, I'm... Fuck! Fuck!

It's like Avengers, right? It's got the Avengers. I forgot he's in Infinity War. God damn it! Yeah, number one is Avengers Infinity War. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, I forgot that entirely. Obvious.

That's so obvious. Yeah, that's obvious. You still got a shot of this, Joe. Don't panic. Yeah, tell Joe DeRosa not to panic. Good job. Who went first? Joe, be calm.

I was first that time. You're right, Joe. You don't have a chance. No, you actually might. It could be anybody's game. But we start with Adam. Then we go to Chris and then to Joe. The films scored by Danny go to Chris and then to Joe. The films scored

by Danny Elfman. That is bold. What do you think, Adam? Oh, God. Everybody's muttering. He's done the score for 50 films at least. The Dark Knight?

Okay. Did he score that? I don't think so. The Dark Knight. Let me finish my sentence. Was a great movie. Danny Elfman. Oh, we can't just talk about movies mid-game?

Well, you already guessed. That's your guess. Fuck. You have two points, so you still could win this. Great. Joe? Oh, sorry. Is that the right order?

I don't know the order. No, you're next. Am I? Sorry, Chris. Go. I'm going to... Oh, sorry. No, no, no. Is that the right order? I don't know the order. No, you're next. Yeah, I was... Am I? Okay. Sorry, Chris. Go. I'm going to... Oh, boy. Batman?

The Tim Burton Batman? The fuck is that? Fucking Tim Burton's Batman, man. Oh, yeah. He's a Burton guy. Yeah, yeah, man. Oh yeah, he's a Burton guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe?

I'm going to throw a wild one here. Nightmare Before Christmas. Oh, that's a good guess. That's a good guess. I was... Oh, so he's strictly Burton. It's adjusted for inflation, right? Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Now that I know it's Burton,

can I give another guess? What? No. Just asking. What's your other guess? Oz. The powerful. The Mila Kunis Oz. That's not a Tim Burton. The Mila Kunis Oz? Didn't he do that?

Danny Uffman did. Tim Burton did not. I don't know how you got that. Who did it? Danny Elfman did score it. Tim Burton did not direct it. Oh, okay. Sam Raimi directed that. But you go, can I guess now a Tim Burton movie?

And you manage to say a movie that's not Tim Burton, but Danny Elfman did score. I don't know how the fuck that just happened. That's very impressive. Yeah. How was that? Also Also Does not count as your guess Also he scored a lot of movies that aren't Tim Burton Yeah I know but I just went No Adam thought he had to name a Tim Burton movie

You guys both went Burton So I was like alright I mean chances are good if it's a Burton movie He did it No no no yeah But Adam thought Oz's a Burton movie, he did it. No, no, no, yeah. But Adam thought Oz was a Burton movie, and it's not. Well, not with that attitude. The Elfman's Gordon.

It feels like it because of the Alice in Wonderland movie. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. All right, so that doesn't count? Nope. All right, then I'm going with New York Minute oh what if he just

did score that for some weird oingo boingo art credit that he was trying to work on he's like it's Cumberbatch's first film I gotta do it coming in at number 3 the forbidden zone no number 3 is Spider-Man 2.

Okay. Yep. That's a good one. Guess what number one is. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. Sure, no one guessed it. The first Spider-Man.

But coming in at number two is one that was named by someone on this stage. Okay. Joe, how confident do you feel? What did you even say? I forgot. I'm thrilled. Here's why I feel comfortable or confident in it.

I just saw that movie with a live orchestra and Danny Elfman at the Hollywood Bowl. That was great. I was there too. That makes sense. And it played for several nights.

Number one, Batman! I'm confident. I feel confident that I beat Batman. You should, you should, you should. Adam, how are you feeling? I mean, just, you know, in general, pretty good. Your final answer was New York Minute? No, I'm going to go with Oz if I can really get a real answer.

Yeah, you can't even name the title of the movie. The Powerful Kunis Oz. No, the Rich and Powerful Richie Rich 2. What the fuck was it? No, it's The Great and Powerful Oz. Number two is Batman! Oh, fuck. Woo! Damn it. applause. Number two is Batman! Oh, fuck.

Woo! Cubist! Cubist! Cubist! Cubist! Good job, dude. Let's wrap this up. I gotta pee. Good job, dude. Alright, so we've got a tie between Adam and Chris. Two points each.

Oh, okay. Sorry, Joe. You have to sit this next part out. Two points each. Sorry Joe. You have to sit this next part out. But hang out because we want to talk to you a little bit at the end. Okay. Adam and Chris. Yeah. Let's do it.

I'm going to name another actor. You're each going to name a movie. Alright. At the same time. If you say the same movie, whoever said it first gets that time. Got it. If you say the same movie, whoever said it first gets that movie. Whichever movie between the two that you say

ranks highest in the top ten of this actor's list is going to be the winner today. I know. It's fucking tense. It's super fucking tense. You guys can do this. I need you each to name a film

from the career of Jim Carrey. The Mask. Dumb and Dumber. Great job, both of you. That's a good head-to-head right there. I like it. You both went super fast. Should have said Bruce Almighty.

Super fast. Coming in at number 10, Lemony Snickers. Can we jump to three? Why are we starting at 10? Guys, it's a great list. I think you're right. You know? Number one.

It had cameras. How the Grinch Stole X-Men. God damn it. Yeah. Yeah. Number two. Batman Forever. Oh!

Not Batman for, you know, for the time being. And guess who did that soundtrack? Seal. Elfman lost that one. Number three, Bruce Almighty. Yeah, should have gone with that. Not Bruce, he's alrighty. Yeah.

Number four, liar, no comma liar really that's crazy that movie was huge but coming in at number five and creating a winner for us today is a movie

called Dumb and Dumber USA called dumb and USA USA USA USA when you're chanting against the black guy that feels uncomfortable it feels uncomfortable in this day and age come on they're not against you they're just just for Adam. Yeah, yeah. And you picked the movie that came in at number six. Oh, wow. Yeah, you were right there. Wow.

You were right almost on it. A $1 due. Yeah. Where's the person you were playing for? Where is the... Madison and Law. Madison and Law. Come get your prizes.

Who would have thunk it? It all fit in one bag this time that's very exciting congratulations Madison good job good job yeah there she goes she waved like we were on camera. Like this is a TV show. Great job, Madison. So you don't need that anymore. You can get your name tag back if you want it. And pass me those other name tags. And Joe DeRosa, tell us what's going on.

Are you shooting the next season of Better Call Saul yet? I don't know that yet. I don't even know if they announced if it's renewed or not, so we'll wait to hear. I think it's renewed. Yeah, I think I saw that. I don't know until they bring me down. I think you also won an Emmy.

You might not have gotten the call. If I can plug my podcasts, We'll See You in Hell movie podcast on the Starburns Network. Pat Walsh and myself reviewing movies. And then also Bill Burr and I do Uninformed, which is Patreon only. Patreon.com

slash Burr for Uninformed. Two episodes a month. Thank you. That's neat. Yeah, it's nice. We don't ever have guests on either, or I would have had you on by now. Oh, no, no, that's cool.

I figured that immediately. I thought, oh, they must not have guests. Yeah. If my friends have a podcast that I'm not on. No, we literally never have guests on either. Chris Cubis. All my dates are on chriscubiscomedy.com, so they've got a bunch of dates showing up.

Oh, I just booked. I'm in. Where am I? Oh, Go Daddies. Go Bananas in Cincinnati in April. Go Daddies. Go Daddies. A great club. A great URL.

And then. I love Go Bananas. Go Bananas. You're going to have a great time. And then check out my podcast, Canceled. We watch TV shows over the last one season. Thank you. We just

finished The River and we just started 1996, it's called Profit with Adrian Pasdar. If you haven't seen that show, it's on YouTube. It's fucking wild. He fucks his mom in the first episode. That show's crazy. It's on Fox.

You know how far ahead of a curve you had to be to be into incest porn in 1996? That's impressive. It's very impressive. Adam? My podcast is called About Last Night. What the fuck?

Chris with the ill-timed mic drop. I voice She-Ra's sidekick Talking Horse on Netflix's She-Ra right now. Nice. And then I'm doing another cartoon

with Seth Green and the Robot Chicken Guys on Hulu coming out soon called Crossing Swords. It's like a claymation R-rated medieval times show which is hilarious.

And then my tour dates are AdamRayComedy.com. Yeah. And I'm going dates are AdamRayComedy.com. Yeah. And I'm going to Firefest in 2025. Chumbawamba is headlining. Doug Loves Movies is coming for the first time to Comedy Off-Broadway in Lexington, Kentucky on Tuesday, May 7th at 7.15 p.m.

Thank you to Hyenas. Thank you to15pm. Thank you to Hyenas. Thank you to you guys. Thank you to all of my guests. Joe DeRosa, Chris Cubis, and Adam Ray. And as always, Tom Brady is a shithead. This will be interesting, because I picked this other one

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See you later. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of Gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you cause Doug loves movies.