Doug Loves Movies - John Gabrus, Amy Miller and Baron Vaughn guest

Episode Date: September 28, 2020

Doug welcomes John Gabrus, Amy Miller and Baron Vaughn to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug, and I love maddening technical difficulties. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you once again from sweet Jesus, how long is this going to last? With another Homes Alone edition of your favorite comedy movie game show podcast. It's Sunday, September 27th, 2020. And my guests today are Amy Miller, John Gabrus, and Baron Vaughn.

Hello, everybody. Woo! Hi, Doug. Hello. Hi, Doug. Love you, Doug. A very polite group, everybody. It sounds like you went in alphabetical order, but I'm going to change it up and say hi to you individually, starting with Amy Miller. Hello, Amy. Hi, Doug. How's it going?

It's going good. You sound crisp. I'm so glad. I'm staying at your pad. I sent you a picture of that last night. Oh, my God, yeah. It said something about Doug's. I'm just in, like, an Airbnb in the desert, and the sign outside the house says Doug's Pad. Doug's Pad.

There's just like a painted plaque. Yeah. He knows. Doug's Pad. I hope that the house is as nicely appointed as that sign. Oh, it's lovely. Was it good inside?

Is it nice inside? It is is nice there's a lot of really hilarious tchotchkes uh it's hard for me to not steal them i will say that for sure but i don't do you think for them it's kind of a lost leader they get a lot of cheap tchotchkes and just think you know if people take them they'll think they're doing something sneaky but we don't care i don't know i think they probably just hope that people will be decent enough not to be adult kleptos which i'm not but in my former life i definitely would have taken several ceramic turtles by now i take a pillow from every hotel room i stay in and i've never complained and i have the best pillow fort you'll ever see where do you keep all the pillows I gotta walk through them to get from the bedroom to the

kitchen it's gonna be nice if you ever fall down oh my god I don't fall down it's you know it's just a soft tunnel to get from one room to the other. I'm going to take it to Shark Tank. So shark. Old people need soft tunnels. Thank you

for being here. Soft tunnels is the name of my OnlyFans. Jesus. Amy, it's Sunday. Come on. Well, I mean, he has one hole. That's where my head went.

All right. So, yeah, John Gabrus is here and just contributed that. One hole Gabrus is here and just contributed that. Oh, one hole Gabrus. Yeah, and Amy, thanks for presuming I only have one hole, and that's why we get along.

I don't mean to assume. No, no. You only have one hole that you would like to have punched. You're one hole punched. Yeah, I'm a one hole punch kind of guy. Just one soft tunnel. The other one's a little bristly. Same tunnel, different bends.

I actually have written here, John gave us a little same question. Like, did I just ask Amy a question? I think it was, you sound crisp. Where are you? So for me. Hey, John, you sound crisp. Where are you? So for me, Hey John, you sound crisp. Where are you? I'm in the spare bedroom in my apartment. AKA my desk. Yeah. I don't, I'm in no place special. This is,

this is John's pad. All right. You're not going to give us anything geographically. Oh yeah. Just give my address. The bathroom window doesn't lock. No, I live in, I live in West Hollywood. I'm almost 40. I live in a apartment and I'm living the dream here doing dishes. You know, the standard pandemic vibe. Yeah. I think a spare bedroom. That's pretty good.

Yeah. Now that is tight. I will admit I've been practically living here. All right. And also joining us and very patiently waiting for me to find out about the crispness of the other guests. Hey, Barron. Hey, how you doing? Can you hear me? You can hear me, right?

Yes. I just want to make sure. Yeah. No, I have been patiently waiting. I don't want to step all over the, you know, the bits, jokes, and gags of... I got no problem with that, as you can see right now. Yeah. Hot riffs. Riffy long stocking no I'm not I'm coming into this world I don't know I'm saying anymore uh how you doing Doug so do you do you think you're saying like that you could tend to hang back in these uh are you getting used to to these zoom shows yeah because i i really i mean as we all know uh comedy is about timing

and because we live in a country with the worst internet in the quote-unquote developed world um we all have very different wi-fi situations and so so when I do shows, like, I don't care if people are laughing or not, because the only thing it'll tell me is how fast their Wi-Fi is. Like if someone's laugh gets to me before someone who's on HughesNet, you know what I mean? So it's kind of like, I don't care. Like, it's like, I'm just used to all the timing being off now, is what I'm saying.

Yeah, it's like everything is that just used to all the timing being off now is what I'm saying. Yeah. It's like, everything is that joke, the knock-knock joke where you say interrupting cow and they say interrupting cow who, but before you get to the end of it. Yes. The old premature cow. Yes, exactly. Moo! You just feel this are mooing immediately without hesitation.

I'm over here tagging, you know, jokes jokes but i don't want to you know there was already gold to be in mind you know what am i going to do come in there and get a couple pieces of bronze no let the people who are in their pan that's what scared me off of uh i wasn't excited about doing shows it in a situation where everybody's in their cars at a drive-in or a parking lot. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because I just thought, what is going to stop people from just honking all the time? Even if it's meaning they like it, I still don't. How do you interpret that if people are just honking?

They just honk. I've been to several, and they just fucking honk. They just do it? They just do it. That's part of the laughing, though. That's part of the laughing, amy isn't it this is gonna sometimes it's a heckle this is gonna blow your mind amy god they have a no honking rule at the magic castle one and people really don't honk or maybe they're not laughing at you doug no they

give out this is the craziest part i'm gonna whisper this part. They give out little clapper toy things to every car. And when they like a joke or when they're responding like applause, like it would normally be used, they clap those things. And it sounds weird, but it's very clear where they are with you during your act. You know, you can tell when you're killing. And I think they also clap and you they just use them more because it's fun for them to participate so it's it was fun to do how does that feel to you like rhythmically like it you know you can't ride that like a real it

doesn't bother me because you know i you know i my timing is sort of my own so like that's a way to phrase that the name of my only fans the laughter itself the clapping noises isn't loud enough it's not louder than me like it would be in like in a club situation sometimes you know like it's i can just do it i can just do the delivery because also you can't really look at anyone because it's all windshields i you know i tell him it looks like i i'm a comedian that the the city in the pixar movie car is hired to come and do a show for all the cars because there's no people just it's just like standing in a car lot doing your act and uh and while locusts are going crazy but the thing is that in the Cars universe,

you would be, I'd call you, I'd probably call you Doug Bentley. That would be your name. And everybody'd be like, he's a Bentley? It's like, this dude works very hard. I don't know anyone's surprised. Here's a question I have a pitch for the group about standup comedy.

And so once I was in South Africa hashtag worldly and I was being driven I was like on a freeway with a or highway if you will with a with a driver and he taught me this thing I'd never seen this because obviously I'm not from South Africa so it was like it was like a highway where you have to pass people but you have to you know you can only pass at certain places so whenever you pass you would pass a person they'd slow down for you to pass and then you'd flash your blinkers and he would flash his blinkers every time he he like passed someone he like double flash him i'm like what is that he's like oh that's how we say thank you that's how we say thank you for letting us letting me pass oh shit whoa weird and he's like yeah and

if you don't do it people will take it very seriously you know it's it's just a simple simple courtesy and i was like interesting so i was wondering like what would you think at comedy shows if people were like flashing their like headlights and blinkers maybe that might induce some very bad states for some people so you know let's let's i like the light flashing light flashing hmm yeah you're kind of a real mr holland's opus kind of comic aren't you yeah i don't think i'd mind it it's funny you you have some headlights on anyway because some cars you got to have the you know it's got to be turned on so they can listen to the radio they have to leave the engine running basically they don't have to leave the lights on they're just being dumb okay i'm gonna i'm gonna tell him that tonight

how do you guys feel about if you let someone in on the road and they don't wave thank you back? Like I'm with that South African driver. If I let you in, you don't give me a wave or like a thumbs up or something? Oh, I hate it. That's very infuriating. And I don't know why. It just really upsets me. I'm like, you gotta say thank you.

Then you're getting a special wave from me with only one finger involved. It's very small, but it is the tallest of the group. It's the biggest I got. The tallest group. I love that. It's so sad when I flip people off. Cause I have like toddler hands. It's very unthreatening, but I feel good. That's right. You do have very small hands. Don't you? They're so freakishly tiny. I have small hands too. I'm assuming they're bigger than yours because I'm

starting from a larger frame. But I have like surprisingly small hands for my body. I love that you had to pause to think of how to describe yourself physically. And I love that comparison to me. In comparison to everyone on

this Zoom and possibly most of the listeners.'m well not podcast listeners so probably a few guys hanging around my size uh i'm a big boy and i have tiny little hands yeah something i've been dealing with for years i apologize that's got a lot of big boy fans and it's one of my favorite things about his shows i'm often the one of the thinner ladies in the room. I adore them. They couldn't be sweeter.

It sounds like it's just my voice. It's not insulting. I love them. And these are reasons that I hang back, Doug. I just always notice like a lot of chubby people and I feel so grateful. Oh yeah. Anytime I do a podcast meet and greet, I'm like, well, this is where all my twins are hanging out.

It's just like cargo short modeling session. It's like a double whammy for me because I think podcast listeners sit a lot and you know, don't move around as much as maybe they should. But then also people who love movies spend long periods of time barely moving. And then pot smokers. You got to try that. Yeah, that's a whole other thing.

But it's interesting, though, that when you think of a stereotypical pot smoker, you kind of think of Shaggy. You kind of think of the skinny, when you hear the word stoner. Oh, you mean Shaggy from Scooby-Doo? Yeah, you think of a skinny person. I thought you meant Mr. Boombastic for five seconds. It wasn't him. Hannah, how could I forget that I had given you an extra key,

like just a straight opening for that freaking joke? Hannah, how could I forget that I had given you an extra key? Like just a straight opening for that freaking joke. That's where my spare key went. Oh my God. That dude, that song, he's in such denial. No, that's the national. He says it so many times. It makes you think it probably was. That was a hit.

I think it wasn't him. It's like the national anthem of gaslighting. That's the whole point of that song. It wasn't me. Yeah, but it wasn't me. The shaggy doth protest too much. He thinks he doth gaslight too much. Yes, what were you saying, Doug?

Do you love movies? I think so. Talking about high metabolism stoners. Yeah. I've dated a lot of them. I would kill to be one. Yeah, I know. It would be so, so, so, so awesome.

But I think I'm getting there. I think I'm getting, I finally may be able to manage it a little bit um you know like when you eat foods that aren't good for you eat the ones where one bite the flavor is going to stay in your mouth for an hour you know what i mean so don't you don't have to eat the whole thing because you're gonna have the flavor anyway is that gross can you give me an example of what one of those foods is uh pumpkin pie your health plan is to eat pumpkin pie got it it's working john i know that's what's killing me

moderation i just mean moderation i just i just had to really like be like just stop eating just because you know i love food obviously so you know just eating for the sake of enjoying the food and same thing with uh drinking now i don't drink i don't drink vodka anymore because it doesn't it what's it doing you know it doesn't it's not a flavor that i crave so now i you know just have wine you know a little bit of wine each night and even that i pour wine into water i water down my wine and i still like it i still like it you know so it's like well then why you know why go full wine if you can get by with this other crap well doug have you ever heard of calamucho

no someone once told me about this drink that they have in spain and it's red wine and cherry coke oh yeah that's like a basque drink they love the uh the basque people like to mix red wine and coca-cola i might also be saying it wrong but i heard that from like someone like some european person that wasn't from Spain. Hashtag worldly AF. Yeah. When it comes to metabolism, I'm not a, I'm a, I can't control my portions. I have to control the content. So I have to like make myself something big and semi-healthy and that way I,

cause I just can't stop myself. So I just limit, like I'm not allowed to have ice cream cause I'll crush a court, but I'll have like sweet potatoes and like chicken breasts by like the fucking Tupperware full. That's like my health plan, which is not, it's not full of salad. I got so high. And if you look at me, you know, it's not fully working, but I'm trying. Y'all I have the, I feel like I should almost write a book right now because I am technically, I guess you could call me a high metabolism stoner.

Hell yeah. You have like crazy allergies, right? Like there's not even that. You can eat like two things. Well, that's because my metabolism is so damn good. My body shuts me down when it's like nah son do you want to stay alive at night out your body that shit is so very naughty you know it always sings to me but the hell is the thing i'm trying to say is um yeah i'm allergic to a lot of things but that's just me

but i think it would still work for a lot of people you don't have to stop eating like you know dairy or gluten or any of that shit. You know, I'm just saying like add other things into the rotation. Because for me, like cooking when I'm high is the dopest. I'm telling you, you because your senses are like at least mine are on fire, you know. So like when I smell like a spice it's like i've smelled it like i've never smelled it before you know it's like the same thing as biting into some nice cheesy pizza except it's just the oregano bruh

i'm just saying i love coming on doug loves diets yeah i'm over here i'm over here kicking myself because i uh you know didn't eat before doing this show and that all sounded so good um but i'll get through it you know what's gonna get me through it i'm gonna give you a simple stoner recipe bro i'm gonna give you i'm gonna give you that for reals oh yeah man it's, super quick. And you'll be like, Oh, I ate. I eat whatever I want and it is working. No, no, no, no shame. No shame. It's going great.

I don't want to shame mofos. You know, no. Okay. Oh, I know you're not. I'm upset. None of us has good advice. It all involved getting really high. Yes, including my advice. Somebody with legit ways of being healthy is shaming

the rest of us, in my opinion. Say what? Just having a legitimate way to stay healthy, that shames a lot of people because we all convince ourselves what we're doing is going to work out and uh some cases it does you just never know i just think that whole one size fits all thing is dumb you're so dumb that's it all right we out just zoom zoom zoomed all up in this subject's boom boom That's it. All right, we out. That's the deal.

Just zoom, zoom, zoomed all up in this subject's boom, boom. So somebody, I'm doing, you know, cameos on the Cameo app. And, you know, I'll appear briefly from time to time for a little little cash and um somebody wants me to wish their son a happy birthday and their son's a movie buff and you know this always puts me i don't know what to say when they're like rec please recommend a movie that's those are the parameters is it just has to be a movie not even a genre no just please recommend... How old is he? Please recommend a good movie. I forget the age, but... Fatal Attraction.

Let's say 42. Does anybody have a movie they saw recently that's kind of a foolproof recommendation? Like you think it's something for everybody? I mean, I re-watched Detroit Rock City last night and I think if the kid is like above seven or eight, up to any age,

I think it's pretty surefire hit. It's very fun. Okay. All right. I don't know. This could be a toddler. They didn't even say the age? I think they might have, but I forgot that part.

Because to me, the most crucial part was that they didn't really narrow it down for me in terms of any kinds of movies or anything. And I just feel like they just want maybe something that's kind of current that they just haven't seen for one reason or another. Like a hidden gem. Because I always say palm springs right now because i love that movie oh yeah but i don't know if that's something you recommend to you know anyone a child yeah or or anyone that's easily triggered by i mean it's that movie is funny but it's also it's upsetting yeah i haven't seen it yet it makes you think about some shit it's weird it's a weird pandemic watch too because it has

some sort of like uh you know a little bit of commentary to that yeah living what are you talking about yeah everything's a weird pandemic watch everything i watch people are hugging without masks and i'm like the fuck is this um wait gabriel's were you going to suggest something? Oh, I was recently, my friend had a birthday, like a social distance backyard movie screening birthday for his like 10 year old son. And we were brainstorming like a movie that would go like keep kids entertained.

And, and we landed on Peewee's big adventure. Now I'm sure maybe this movie buff kid has seen that, but that's sort of universally enjoyed and kind of it's short. It's got a lot of fun stuff happening. This, it looks beautiful on screen and there's nothing too weird, but there are some like large Marge scares and shit.

So, and you know, kids of any age can get a little thrill. That's a great, that's a great recommendation. Yeah. If I didn't know the kid's age, I mean,

I mean, that is not something recent that I enjoyed. It's fun to watch again now after, you know, many years of it being in existence and just marveling at the fact that the score from that movie is in a million things. It's like they're using commercials all the time. I'm always like, oh, peewee. And the fact that that movie just got made that they were like yeah do you guys see this guy's grounding show it's like well we have a movie idea based off

that and it's this insane fucking adventure it's so fun the whole story of all of that is insane like just kind of where his career went and the whole the kids show and lawrence fishburne and what is happening and phil hartman was a writer on the movie dude like that's the fucking prestige shit right there ah yeah recommendation larry fishburne is would be i i think they should do it before he dies because i'm tired of these people dying and then they make a you know awesome movie about them how cool would it be for an old person to see a movie about how awesome they were and uh and in his case they should make it now. He was like 14 years old when he was in, you know,

freaking wherever they were shooting Apocalypse Now. Apocalypse Now? Yeah. Yeah, he was like 14 years old, and he lied to them and said he was 18. And, like, he got in the – like, he's one of the stars of the movie, and he has this big part and uh and it's just and you know of course he was also larry fishburne and then years later he said you know hey everybody i'm lawrence but to go from apocalypse now to peewee's big adventure uh you know that'll that transition alone is just an amazing career. He was Playhouse, right?

He's not in the movie. Oh, yeah, yeah, right. Sorry. He was in the Playhouse. No one else is in the Playhouse so, so small as Natasha Lyonne. She's like six or seven. Oh, wow. She's one of the three kids who comes to visit.

That's so cool. Oh, that rules. That's really amazing. And, yeah, of course the late great phil hartman was the sailor dude that came by in the uh he's a lot he's in the uh you know the original special that they did at the roxy on sunset strip merrily hinners in that too right i think so that that when you see that it's like i always love watching like a movie from that era or you know especially a comedy and you see all these people who are so influential you know i mean i'm i'm a true comedy nerd unlike most comedians but like uh unlike most wait do you like the simpsons

no i hate it no i liked it better when it was on the tracy olman show now here's the thing No, I liked it better when it was on the Tracy Ullman show. Now here's the thing. Wow. See? See? Okay. Oh, Doug, you know who's in Detroit Rock City as a stripper slash bartender?

Aaron Berg. Who? Aaron Berg. Canadian slash New York comedian Aaron Berg. berg really slash alt-right sort of friend of ours just kidding um yeah yeah he's like the bartender that also enters the stripping contest wow billy buff at that time also he's still ripped oh my goodness he's he's super alt-righty now well i mean there's a lot of comedians that are yeah well i tell you what it's a great way to juice your patreon i know they're making some way to show people i was, I don't know, a proud boy.

I have some recommendations. On what other ways to juice our Patreon? Is that how you say it? Patreon? I was going to say Patreon. I was going to say it like I'm Antonio Bambini. Patron. Yes, please subscribe to my Patron. Yeah. What do you got for movies baron yeah i mean um you

know first of all i've i've worked i work with martin sheen and i've recently worked with larry fishburne hashtag worldly as fuck and bragging as fuck um so no martin sheen brings up apocalypse now a lot he brings up laurence fishburne a lot it's actually kind of surprising i think it's because i'm black he really does yes but i also want to talk about it i also want to talk about it so i'm like cool with it uh okay so here's my suggestion i am going to go animation but i'm going to go a little bit off the beaten path because i would assume that this parent who is asking you for a recommendation for their child is probably well versed you know because they're asking you they're a doug benson fan and uh i would go with animation but something that's like kipo in the two strings oh yeah uh that is a good one that's from the coralline

animation people the that high- end claymation animation company, which name? Yeah. Kubo in the two strings. Yeah. Kupo or Kipo. There's Kipo in the wonder beast and Kubo in the two strings. You're right.

You're right. Yeah. Kubo. Um, they also did paranormal Norman and, um, and Coraline. And, um, there's one other one that they did because all of those movies are also great recommendations as well yeah they're just they're like works of

art those things and it's just the amount of work that goes into them it's really it's really something i'm glad they still pop one of those out every few years. Don't really feel like I need to see Chicken Run again. Did you hear the remake of Chicken Run? That Chicken Run was already a remake of The Great Escape, but with chickens. Oh, my goodness. I had no idea that they were doing that. And it's already perfect.

Yeah. I re-watched it again a couple years ago and it was so good it's it was actually a lot darker than i remembered and my niece was kind of horrified because the chickens were being slaughtered and i was like oh yeah sorry yeah that reminds me of like i showed my little brother goonies like when he was like 10 and i was like you're gonna love this movie and he fucking was like when sloth came 10 and I was like, you're going to love this movie. And he fucking was like, when sloth came on screen, he had like a meltdown. And I was like, Oh yeah, I guess I forgot that that's kind of scary.

And there's like dead bodies and all this shit in the beginning. And I was like, really never had thought about it like that. You just remember that we had absolutely no supervision and whatever we want. And we were scared, but it just felt like a normal way to live. Yeah. I was like, i watched shade when i was eight we've also we've also learned that what like you know white male directors thought was okay in the 70s it turned out to be just awful so many things that happen in movies that during a time when there was you know you know I always thought a pretty

radical turn towards the better rather than worse but boy there's some weird shit just a lot of peeking through a hole you made to see naked ladies laughter whatever we repress we suggest

laughter did you say a movie Baron or we did did uh kubo and the two strings oh that's it that's it yeah i thought you had but i wasn't absolutely sure um gosh i'm still also trying to think of the name of the company that makes those movies because they are really cool isn't it dreamworks maybe they might distribute them but who's oh yeah yeah oh you mean like the the studio yeah and there's no way any of us can find out i know i'm sitting at a computer i don't like the listeners to think we're all like looking things up as we go because then the games seem staged you know oh ryan says like laika laika That's right. That's why we don't remember it.

It's a tricky one. Who said that? Some sort of high metabolism stoner? Oh, there's a ghost on the show. Don't worry about it. I thought you were at Doug's pad. Now Ryan is a ghost that lives in Doug's pad.

It's getting complicated over there. It's the weirdest thing. My friend died. He's really good at movie trivia, so he used to do it to me during shows. But through me, for some reason. Now all the women haters know why I have to have you on

so much, Amy. I can hear the spirits of stoners past. Alright, so thanks for those recommendations. I can hear the spirits of stoners past. All right. So thanks for those recommendations. I'll just give a blanket. I'll just name all three of those movies in this cameo and they'll think I

really thought about it. Mr. Bean's holiday or. Is that the best Mr. Bean though? No. Bean is probably the best, right? Just straight up Bean? Yeah, regular Bean.

Not refried. How did he not call the next movie Refried Bean? Oh, maybe because he's British. Yeah, the British were scared of cultural appropriation a long time ago. Oh, their beans aren't made good the first time around. But do you guys know who, what's his name? Eugenio Derbez is? You ever heard of this dude?

That's the dude that was in the Overboard reboot, right? Yes, with, was that Anna Faris that was with? Yes. Yeah, there's this movie um how to how to marry a latin lover or something like that yeah it's like how to make love like a like how to something how to marry a latin lover or something like that yeah yeah it's brilliant it is brilliant that guy is incredible but he's like a very in like he's a physical comedian i think at the level of rowan atkinson that's why that's why i thought of him so you said refried beans and i was like well eugenio derbez is a is a very good you know he's different

than rowan atkinson obviously but like he's just a really gifted comedic actor also one question is laika that made kubo and the two strings the same as like the lens no that's l-e-i-c-a right nobody okay correct, that's L E I C A. Right. Nobody. Okay. Correct. Yes, that's right. I confused myself there for a second. I was like, wait, what's the question? Wait a minute. Let's spell something. Yes, that's right. Nobody check. Nobody check. I'm obsessed with spelling spelling hence the magicness of

myself i do like to when i don't know how to spell something i do like to take a swing at first just because then it's satisfying that ultimately you you were right or spectacularly wrong um i've spelled asphalt wrong for forever you know what i can't spell the word diarrhea i've got it every fucking day and I have no idea. I finally figured it out. I finally figured it out. You take the, let's say you're at the Denver airport and you see a Rhea Perlman, then you have D I A Rhea. So it's D I A R H E A.

I thought there were two R's. That's not even correct. That's not even correct. That's not even right. No, you actually are. I think you actually are correct. Is it? That's the trick of it is it's got less R's than we think. You know, like in that commercial for Pepto-Bismol, they go diarrhea.

It just sounds like a lot of r's it has the word rhea at the end of it which um as we all know rhea butcher has a joke about that but it is a good way to remember how to spell it as well rhea is at the end thinking that dire in the front ryan's not sending me any messages about the spelling of diarrhea i don't know i think oh it's D-I-A-R-E-A? Yes. I did a category on this game show one time, Diarrhea Pearlman. She's rude.

I hope she didn't hear it, but everybody found it very amusing. It's a really good pun. What are people's problems? Exactly. We should play some games. Yes. We're way behind at this point.

I know. I hate enjoying people's company. You go on. I know, right? It's terrible. We must compete. Well, it's funny you say that, Amy, because I do have a few guests on the show so our first we must compete well that's you know

it's funny you say that Amy because I do have a few guests on the show in the last few weeks and coming up that they prefer this

over a show where it's more freestyle everybody just saying you know talking about whatever like they like the fact that there's a game

because you just you just show up and play the game and you don't have to really you know say things that are going to and you don't have to really say things that are going to get you 50 horrible comments on social media. You might get one comment saying, why didn't you know how to spell diarrhea?

I know. That's why I'm already worried about the Aaron Berg fans. That's why I go quiet. I've probably blocked them all already anyway. I do have a philosophy to offer about that though oh yeah yeah it goes like this i fucking love a short philosophy with no vowels well i hate to interrupt how much fun we're having but i'm gonna throw to a quick commercial break we'll be right back we're back the first game we're going to play today is called how long is it um and in this game i name a thing and then each of you guess how long it is and the closest without going over his right style is the winner. Great. Here we go. How long, oh I should say also I

should establish an order. Let's go alphabetical on this. So we'll go John Amy Barron. Last names I guess? Last name. Oh. Yeah. Are you listed by Amy in the phone book? It's the only example I have of lists of names. Let's go in order of metabolism. All right. Turn your cameras on john gabrus will be on next week's episode john gabrus has been bumped to a different division

his body is larger than other people's smaller than some how long in years has it been between or was it i should say between the release of the tom hanks movie splash and the tom hanks movie you've got mail i was surprised by the answer. That's why it became a question on my show. Okay. Now I, I guess a number now, right? Yes. You're first. Okay. I'm going to say 12 years. Okay.

Oh man. It's without going over. Shit. 12 years in a day would be a hilarious bid at this point. Just like they do on Price is Right. Oh, we can do days and weeks? I think it's only fair. Okay. Okay.

What do you think baron i thought was i thought amy was after yeah i'm just curious before she answers about what you're no i was i got it wrong amy um oh man i wish i was last. I'm going to actually go nine years. Everyone can change their answer at the end. You just have to lock into something. Okay. So Amy says nine and 12 from John Baron Vaughn answer the question. Oh, okay. I couldn't tell if you were talking to me or writing something down.

Your prescription is ready. Thank you very much. I got that ADD or all. My answer is, what were the movies again from splash to you've got man splash okay yeah you don't get any wider than these movies yeah yeah yeah well i was thinking apologies for that well sleeplesspless in Seattle and You Got Mail I believe are the same director But Splash is not But I also could be wrong about that

Splash is much earlier than Splash I think was before Sleepless in Seattle I think Splash maybe is in the mid 80s I'm going to say Eight years Six months Three days So let's recap six months, three days.

Late. So let's recap. What's your final answer, John? I feel bad changing it, so I'm going to stick with 12 years. I love that. I think I'm aggressively wrong now, but I'm sticking with it. I'm calling you Johnny Fairplay. Amy? I'm going to now, but I'm sticking with it. On you, Johnny. Fair play. Amy? I'm going to stick with nine years.

All right. Wait, what was yours again, John? Twelve. In the same amount of years, someone could be a slave. If that helps you remember it. Usually I do love numbers in movie titles,

but for that one, I make an exception. And I don't, I don't love it. Thank you. I think it's not good. Slavery. Yeah. Well, there goes your Patreon. I know.

I don't want to piss anybody off, but it's not nice. Now I got to mute those replies. I welcome them uh okay so there it says eight well now i'm rethinking it because i'm thinking trying to think about when splashes because uh i mean i did see 12 years a slave one time i saw um i'll never see it ever again but uh it was great in that sense of seems accurate. And then I don't want to ever have it in my head. Oh, yeah. Anybody that's like got that in their collection, I don't know what's up.

You pretty much get the gist of it one time. I do have a really controversial opinion about that film, though, that like literally nobody would probably ever think, which is that she would tell a G of four is not good in that movie. Okay. So my answer, I'm thinking splash is about bosom buddies era. Cause he was still doing like movies when he was on bosom buddies, what was like splashing some of those things. He was still on that show.

And you got to figure it out. Yeah. I think all you got to do is say a number. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just trying to figure it out yeah i think all you gotta do is say a number yeah yeah i'm just trying you said eight years six months and three days yeah but now i'm rethinking it because i think that you've got mail might have been like more 97 ish so i'm thinking maybe it's actually 10 years. I'm going to say 10 years on the dot. Whoa. Alright, so you've got 10. John has... John has how many?

12. Okay. John wins. What? Wait, so is it like 83 and 96 or something? it's whatever two years uh that they made these movies that are 14 years apart you didn't look okay i didn't write down the years i just wrote

down how many years apart they are but but yeah baron was starting to figure out that like you've got mail was made made way later than they made movies like you've got mail like it was his next movie after saving private ryan like yeah i think some of the most realistic yeah he went from horrifyingly realistic war footage to like arguing over a bookstore with meg ryan Well, wouldn't you? There's so much texting and emailing in that movie, it's infuriating. I know people still love it, but it's one of my least liked, you know, everybody loves it movies.

Ooh, everybody tell me a movie everybody loves that you do not like. Anyone can go first. Ooh, interesting. Annie Tarantino oh snap yeah sorry no sorry trolls how much of it how much tarantino have you had to watch just to get finally give up and say just say blanket don't like him um a lot and i still watch them and i do like a couple but i just i can't stomach like a lot of violence so when people talk about pulp fiction like it's this fun rewatchable movie i'm like i don't know it just it's not that for me

i can recognize that it's very good but i don't ever want to see it again yeah sometimes it's weird sometimes it's weird in an enjoyable movie that's got fun stuff happening in it that it's also like there's like real human suffering going on that like you know can kind of be brushed over especially if all the characters are criminals yeah but i love that mail and i will watch You've Got Mail about four times a year. Right. But isn't it crazy corny for like how late in their careers? Like it's similar to Sleepless in Seattle, but so many years in between the two, you know? Yeah, they should have matured a little more before this movie. Well, it seemed they matured backwards. I mean, to me, it's just the movie just seems like they're both like i don't know

it's just very maybe i just don't like the structure of people being in each other's orbit and not knowing you know not knowing who they're talking to and it's late in their career but early in email career so i think they just wanted to jump on that that's it definitive aol movie yeah that's that's what it ended up being that's why i don't like it i think is that it's it's just too much it's too much about early uh emails and it's definitely not uh it's not predicting what's gonna you know where emails and and and the internet is gonna go oh those are my favorite kind of movies. Things that like badly predict where technology is headed and how we're going to integrate it into culture. That's my shit.

Along the same lines, I like when someone hears a term that has to do with like the internet and then someone makes a whole movie about it. And then that thing, like Firewall is an example. And like they made a Harrison Ford movie called Firewall because it sounded cool, but really it just means you can't get through to the website. And it's like,

they made like a 90 minute action thriller called fire. It's like a modem. The movie just feels weird. It feels like that sounds cool. Let's make a movie about it. And they got, they got Mary Lynn Rice cub good to be Chloe from 24. Like they didn't even have any,

I mean, she's great, but like the lack of imagination to be like, let's just slap that character in there and get that actress to do it. Yeah. Well, it's like Jexy. It's like, I mean, I adore Adam Devine and like Funches is in it. It was a fun movie, but as I was watching it, I was like, Ooh, this is not going to age good. And probably, you know, a hundred scripts about, like, Alexa Siri becoming a romantic comedy got, you know, didn't get through, but this one did, and it's like, ooh.

I tried. Yesterday I put, you know, a speaker, you know, that you don't have to plug into your computer. I set one of those up and now it'll just turn itself on and say stuff and it's really

tripping me out. You started writing a romantic comedy about it already? It only talks to you while you're jerking off. Seems to know. Yeah, it's really, it is a, it's a, it's a bummer. Wait, wait. Are you saying her was a romantic comedy?

I hate the movie Her. Fuck that movie too. Oh, do tell, why? It's like nothing that dudes love more than a disembodied woman. I hate to quote people. Like what if it's just nothing that dudes love more than a disembodied woman what if it's just a voice that's the thing amy is i i think a lot of guys especially myself i know i have enough confidence to be like you know watch that movie and go oh that poor guy has to resort to that you know but i think a lot of guys have misplaced confidence that would make them not feel like that would be you know i mean i don't think they're thinking of it as good get rid of

the uh girl and just give me the voice. I don't know. You know, I thought it was, I remember watching it and thinking like, I mean, there's, there's a lot of different ways it could go, but, cause I didn't think it made that situation look good or fun or in any sort of way. Like I thought it was a trend. No, it's very sad. The romantic,

the montage where they're out doing stuff together is you know pretty pretty sad but it's funny that that's that's joaquin phoenix because i feel like her like that that character is the prequel you know it is like the that's the great grandson of joker isn't it like it's the same incel yeah exactly yeah he made an incel series yeah yeah because also you were never really here i get all these titles that sound sort of like that it's not the bob dylan movie but it's like the joaquin phoenix revenge thriller movie uh that he's like a weird incel in that movie too it started with his role in parenthood when he was a child addicted to porn yeah what kind of crazy kid would watch porn that is you know doug i'm gonna pass on answering this question i think i think i think

you know what i i'm pretty sure parenthood is not an r-rated movie the steve martin movie is it's promoted i guess something for the whole family. But Steve Martin gets into a car accident because Mary Steenburgen is blowing him. It's so funny. And then the cop is like, how did this happen? And he goes, show him, honey. I forgot about that part.

I think it's PG-13, but I definitely watched it a lot. That could be a good recommendation for the kid. Something for everybody. Yeah, it does have an amazing cast, you know. Peek, die, and waste. It's not a kid's movie, though, parents. No, it isn't. It's not a family movie and i don't think yeah

yeah it's like ron howard was like you know showing it how it really is but there's some rough stuff in there oh that's right i forgot that that's ron howard and then they made the tv show version of it too only a couple years ago uh yeah yeah the tv show was like let's all cry about you know dying it's mostly unrelated to the movie maybe for like the first few episodes but yeah no it's the same title and producers yeah and it was good though it was a good show it was just like one of those shows though like you don't flip it on when you just want to you know have a nice time you want you need to yeah you need to schedule a cry or two that kick off like the this is us like like that was era yeah

well like you know 30 something cry porn yeah what kind of kid isn't addicted to tv cry porn well and they well you know that's it i feel it's creeped into every show like i think every show that's got really cool action scenes really slows down to let all the actors cry for a while before the next action scene. Are you talking specifically about CW shows? I'm over that. Yeah, all of it is just like, we've got to really delve into these characters. And it's just sort of like, well, I mean, they have bigger emotions than everybody.

Can't she cry while she's fighting somebody? That is an issue of vision though that's an issue of how seriously i think sometimes the people who create these shows actually take their characters or the people who would be watching these shows so it's like that whole balance where the can they are people going to get this or is it insulting people's intelligence like for us it like, this is assaults my intelligence sometimes because I I'm already watching this. So it's kind of like, I know, I know how people are, but not when they're wearing green with a bow and arrow bro. Thrill me.

Yeah. I don't mean to go for a rant, but. Well, right now. And if you ask me grace and frankie not enough action scenes okay let's have some car chases every once in a while he um talk about like when you were talking about like being around worldly people like everyone on that all those actors on that set is just like insane the amount of knowledge and worldliness they must have oh absolutely and they the because i get to hear them because they were all on sets before phones in our pockets existed right they still like to just talk to each other

they still come in and they're like hey how, how are you? Like they're, they talk about the news. They talk about politics. They talk about like, they are always telling stories and, and just having a good time and it translates to the show. I mean, you can see, you know, I think that's one of the biggest reasons the show works is because we genuinely like have a good time when we're making it. It's true. It's so good. It seems like you guys are having so much fun. I'm glad that you like it, you know the other thing i love it

i love i just start weeping i love tv what podcast is this the thing is also like i always try to think about i've been thinking a lot about but you know we're we can feel free to move on because this is like super philosophical. I'm about to say, what do you think, Doug? Go for it. Well, you know, I just think about the eras of filmmaking, right? Because all of those people that you're talking about on my show, they came up in a very different Hollywood than they, the one that exists now they predate it.

So it's kind of like they're literally grandfathered in because that's how that like, and so it's like they were around before this streaming age and there are people who became stars in the 90s and thousandies or oddies whatever the hell they're called that were around before the streaming age but it's like they predate a lot of the things that are now required to be in the industry and like it's the same movement with comedy as well you know but it's like now we're moving into this weird algorithmic decision era you know we're already in it and i overheard the story on set once a crew person who was like oh yeah his friend his friend like uh sold a movie to netflix and she was the writer and director and you know did all these auditions to get some actor that she thought was the perfect lead for her film. And apparently they said,

you know, Netflix said no, because the algorithm doesn't really understand her in that kind of role. It has to be something that we've already seen her do. So it's kind of like people are getting typecasted by a computer into like a structure that feels like the old school RKO paramount contract star kind of structure. And that's the way that we can write direct and make movies. I will put the gavel down, down, down. It's like how a Byer keeps hosting things when she should literally be able to do whatever she wants and just act.

Like, she's not just a host. She's hilarious. Put her in something. People get, like, typecasted or stuck or it's very – but, you know, you're going to take whatever the work is that you can get because you've got to pay these bills. But's like, it affects the way that people think about what even to make in the first place, I guess, and how to make it. The key word in typecast is cast.

I'll take it. Put me in it. John Gabrus, he is available. Yeah. Perverted janitor number four. Like that's a, you know, that's on all over imdb typecast me i'm fine new york blank that's usually what i get uh he says i'm walking here i'm sorry go ahead no no it's i i'm loving all this i'm loving all

this so much that i'm just like i'm gonna going to declare John is the winner today, but we're all winners. I feel like I won. Because we had so much fun and, you know, I managed to have some real conversations in the middle of my game show. And, you know, that's very much appreciated. Let's go through everybody starting with our winner, John Gabrus. that's, that's very much appreciated. Do you, let's go through everybody starting with our winner, John Gabrus, plug all your things, please.

I have several podcasts, but if you're a movie fan, I have a movie podcast called action boys. It's a Patreon podcast, but we have like six or seven free episodes listed at action boys.biz. Give it a listen. It isn't for everybody. Most likely not for you, but if it is pay $5 a month and enjoy a few more. Thank you. All right. Thank you. Amy Miller. Oh yeah. Just follow me on Instagram. Amy Miller comedy. I'm verified now so you can trust the account. It's all safe.

I mean, that means you have to be real now. When you get the checkmark, it means you have to be real. I was being so fake before, and it's all changed. And then listen to my podcast, Who's Your God? We talk to comedians about religion. Doug won't be on it. I mean, we can talk about absolute disinterest in it

if that is something you want to do. It feels like anybody who listens to your show has some religion in their life. I don't want to be insulting to people. Not always. It's also just funny so it's

a lot of people that are just oh okay and a lot of your um doug loves movies fans i'll do it then if it's just if it's if it's funny i thought you really got into i thought your show was like pete holmes it's both because he doesn't say any jokes his show please don't ever say that to me again or anything like it don't help me if you ever compare me to pete again our friendship is over wait pete doesn't have any jokes in his podcast yeah no i was trying to make a joke that his is serious that amy's is it's a comedy show to get people over to Amy instead of Pete. But it backfired. Now people are dying to hear this guy that's terrible, according to Amy. I didn't say that. Oh, okay.

I did not. At all. He plays, when he's on my shows, he plays a character where he just acts like a terrible person and he thinks it's really funny so that's why i also don't feel bad about uh because it's a weird because he even says out loud to people after the show's over with i don't know what comes over me when i'm on one of doug's shows i just become terrible it's like well you're aware of it it you can't stop it i can't have it on a zoom show because nobody would get a talk

oh because zoom just defaults to the loudest person and that's who you hear kind of yeah those just pete the whole hour i would love to just, I should ask him to just record himself talking about movies for an hour and then put it out and just tell people, yeah, I just couldn't get a word. Baron Vaughn waiting patiently again. What, what's going on with Grace and Frankie?

Are they back for like one more season? I think I heard. Impatiently again, what's going on with Grace and Frankie? Are they back for like one more season, I think I heard? Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I was enjoying the roast of Pete Holmes. Yeah. All the Grace and Frank-ophiles out there in Doug Loves Movies land. No, we were supposed to do one more season.

We shut down because of, you know, Pantyy d yeah um which is also my new hip-hop name but like um we you know we were like five episodes into a 16 episode final season um and whether or not we're gonna do that you know remains to be seen so you know people are opening up here and there i know that our show is like we don't want to be first you know they're old well i love that show but i support the shutdown because you got a lot of american fucking treasures walking around that are elderly like let's just not risk it no no no and they have to really take care of themselves and they take very good care of themselves and like they get sick like it's not a joke you know and you know so it's just kind of like wanting to be very very considerate and safe but you know so there's been plans and we've been in discussions you know i don't have any hard you know evidence of when we're going to go back or

anything like that you know hard facts i mean to say But like, you know, I hear 2021, but we'll see. Because, you know, every single day, something else horrible is happening. It's just impossible to plan around. So, you know, who knows? Even though I've said, you know, you know, like, you know, a bunch of times. That's the best we can hope for.

But what, do you have anything cooking in the meantime that's people can check out uh yeah great debate is out there on sci-fi um also if you want to check out a show i did with my good friend open mike eagle called call and response uh you can go to our website it's uh google.com and then put call and response in the search. And if you see my face, that's probably it. Great. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having us. Thank you to all of my guests. It's been so pleasant. And thank you, Doug.

My plug is it next Saturday. So only five or six days from now now if you're listening to this right away um on october 3rd at 4 20 if you go to rushtix.com slash doug benson you can get a ticket to see me amy miller uh jeff tate and destiny barra all doing stand-up and then I'll hang around after my set and interact with everybody and smoke. It's called Doug Benson's Comedy Sesh.

A one-time only event that might be on sale for 24 hours after it happens if you can't watch it live. But I hope you can be there for the live thing. Whoa. Thank you again to John Gatrys. What?

What, Amy? I said, so fun. Can't wait. What, Amy? What? Screaming at me. I can't hear you when I am yelling. Are you doing an impression of Pete right now?

No, I'm just, I was like, that was going to be, you know, you do kind of excited voice when you're saying the last thing at the end of the show. And so I accidentally, I did that while you were trying to talk and I apologize. I always do a line from the end of a movie as the closing line on this show and I forgot to do a little of that simple research before the show. Does anybody know the last line of a movie?

I wonder what the last line is in Pee Wee's Big Adventure. I only know famous last lines. Yeah, that one didn't really end on a famous line. It's probably just like, alright, let's go. Oh, yeah.

Does anybody have a famous one? I think he says, leave it alone, Marty. It's the future. Oh, yeah. Oh, good one. I think I did that one before, but it's always good. Wait, which one? I just conflated like four, I think.

Yeah, because the first one he says, where we're going, we don't need roads. Right. And then the second one says, oh, Marty, the third movie's Western bullshit. Alright, let's go with that. As always, the third movie is Western bullshit. All right, let's go with that. As always, the third movie is Western Bullshit.

Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.