Doug Loves Movies - John Hawkes, Alison Rosen, Dan Schechter and Dustin Ybarra guest

Episode Date: December 11, 2019

Back home at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes John Hawkes, Alison Rosen, Dan Schechter and Dustin Ybarra to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming, taking sticky seats with 50 ads in popcorn journals in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. We love movies. Coming to you once again for the last time this year.

Oh, God. I didn't mean to be so dramatic there with that. For the final time of December. Yeah, we're going to wrap it up here at the UCB Theater, Franklin location, Los Angeles, California.

It's Tuesday, December 10th. And are you guys too busy with the holidays the holiday season to make name tags I think we've got I like I like your initiative you clearly put that together a few minutes ago. Yeah, but you know what? Good for you and good luck being chosen. All right, so I count at least five. So good luck, everybody.

You're going to regret not bringing in a name tag because that magical butter machine right there is on the line tonight. not bringing in a name tag because that magical butter machine right there is on the line tonight. And I'll tell you about the rest of the stuff I brought in a minute. But first, and thank you for bringing in name tags. We should give you, we're going to probably talk about these again in a minute.

Casey, no evil. Here, no evil. And feudal and stupid Jason. Wordplay is not Jason's thing. Doug plugs. You want to do one of my plugs? Sure. You did one before.

I think you did a great job. Do number one right there. Okay. This Thursday, December 12th at 8 p.m., Doug Loves Movies, 12 Guests of Christmas at Largo on La Cienega. Probably. More than

12 guests. Yeah. Yeah, that was in parentheses. Although I was going to say it. I just didn't mean for you to say it. But you gave it an extra level of excitement because you clearly are excited there might be more than 12.

So you're coming? Yes. Okay. That hesitancy has me concerned, but maybe we'll see you there. Let's go back here. Do you want to do one? Absolutely. Here's dude number two. Monday, December 16th,

Doug Loves Movies is back at the Neptune in Seattle, most likely at 420. No, why would you? That's not good branding to give everybody the wrong time when many of my fans are stoners and they're going to get it all fucked up now.

That's a Monday, lady. You can't do a 420 show on a Monday. People have jobs. There'd probably be just as many people there. Plus, Doug Loves Movies is back at the American Comedy Company. Caw-caw! On Saturday, December 21st at 420. For all my dates and deets and links, go to DougLovesMovies.com.

That's DougLovesMovies.com Yeah! Come on! Wallet! Ted dances? I mean, it really does feel like I'm in Los Angeles. That was a very professional

professional rundown. From the corrections department, the movie I was talking about the last time I was sitting right here that has Ellen Page living in a forest is called Into the Forest. That's what I couldn't remember. Into the Forest. I just kept saying forest over and over again.

Just had to get in there. All right. Oh, the prize bag. In addition to a wonderful Magical Butter machine that you can find out more about at MagicalButter.com. Chelsea's over there frantically trying to come up with some sort of name tag, I think. Just to win that shit. But I got a Doug Benson pin from Rockin' Pins.

A Kind bar that they gave me on an airplane. I don't like those at all. And they gave me this cool, it's a sleep mask, but it's in a packet that says Star Wars Rise of Skywalker on it, only in theaters. I held up this, when I got it on the plane, I held it up in front of the screen at my seat and took a picture of it and said, holy shit, they're going to play, they're going to show us the new Star Wars on this plane.

People lost their minds on Twitter about the possibility of that happening. That's not the right format! That's not the right format! I would be tempted to not watch it, to be honest with you. But I'd probably watch it because what the fuck?

They're showing it on a plane. All right, so, oh, and a Douglas Movies t-shirt, of course. All of that, plus stuff brought by my four guests. Three regulars

are here on the show. They've been on a bunch of times. And one newbie I'm very excited about. And I think they're ready back there. Please give it up, everybody, for Allison Rosen, Dan Schechter, John Hawks, and Dustin Ibarra. I have a feeling they might be back there somewhere. Hey, everybody!

Just sit wherever you like. I hope you all got any kind of beverage that you might enjoy during the proceedings. And let's say hello to everybody individually, starting with first-time guest john hawks is here everybody just grab your microphone there sir hi hey hi hello is it hot hello good okay there you go okay how's it going well how are you i'm great. I'm so excited to meet you and then also have you as a guest on the show. My friends here that come to these tapings, they are well aware of my love of the Peanut Butter Falcon. Love that movie.

Best, you know, I'd say best overall movie of the year in terms of everything that you'd want from a movie. Thank you. What do I owe you? You don't owe me anything. I just, you know, I saw it early on and just was very excited to tell people about it. And when I get messages from people saying they're happy, they saw it, you know, that makes me happy.

It's a cool movie. It works out pretty nice. And you're also very scary in it. Thank you. I was planning to be intimidated by you, and then you show up, and you're a perfectly nice guy, and clearly not a method actor

continuing to play that particular role. Unless he's preparing for a role where he's supposed to be nice right now. Some nice guy role. That's the thing is he does both, Allison. Let's say hello to her. It's Allison Rosen, everybody. Now, John, I loved you in...

What? How's it going, Allison? Good. How are you doing? I'm doing good. Everybody knows, of course, from Allison Rosen is your new best friend. Did I emphasize the right word in that long title? I think so.

Is your new best friend. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Not mine, because I am me. But also, I have Childish with Greg Fitzsimmons. With Greg Fitzsimmons. Fitz dog. Yeah.

We should have figured this out before right now, but I have a couple dates to plug at the end of the show. Sure. Okay, that feels good. I got plugs, too. I think we all do. I don't, actually. We'll do it. Do you want one of mine?

Yeah, sure. Okay, perfect. Yeah, it's never too late for your plugs, John, and I am a big fan of your work in the motion picture called Too Late. Thank you. Right? So good. It's one of those movies where they have crazy long takes that are

very impressive. Thank you. That you're able to act in those, because stuff happens in those takes. It's not just sitting around talking. Yeah, sure. A lot of folks are performers here that do live work, but it was more like doing a stage play in moments almost because takes were 18 minutes long, shot on film,

and sometimes involved moving from one location to another within the take. So there was no flunky anywhere on the set. Everyone had an important thing to do, even people who didn't know quite what they were doing yet and were new to the set. Everyone had an important thing to do. Even people who didn't know quite what they were doing yet and were new to the set. It was a perfect storm of abilities. That's exactly what I was going to say. I'm just going to sit here and reference your movie

titles the entire show. But speaking of movie titles, our friend on the end there is Dan Schechter. And Dan Dan wrote and directed a movie I'm quite fond of that is now available on demand called

After Class. I'm so used to the original title. We changed the title from Safe Spaces because they made us. Because movies with an A make more money on VOD. Isn't that crazy? They want movies to begin with the letter A. So you just have to be like, okay, made us because movies with an A make more money on VOD, which is a little inside story for you guys. Isn't that crazy? They want movies to begin with the letter A, so you just have to be like, okay,

I guess I'm going to call my movie Asshole. But with two A's at the beginning. Aardvark Asshole. Like, ahhh, asshole. Aardvark Asshole totally sounds like a Johnny Depp character. Asshole.

Hard work asshole totally sounds like a Johnny Depp character. Unbilled, of course. He shows up in full makeup. He showed up. He's in SAG, let him in. Yeah. But Dan,

our friend Justin Long. You got it on the ground floor of this movie because you were the one who introduced me to Justin because I know you did the podcast and I was like, Doug, man, would you consider trading us some numbers? And you were nice about that. Yeah.

I said to Justin, will you read my friend's script? And this is how nice Justin is, or how much Justin likes me. He said, OK. But not only read it, but loved it, and then ended up starring in the film. Yeah, he's super good and it's like, yeah, VOD, iTunes, all that stuff.

It's in some cities but I don't think that'll last long but if you're interested in checking it out that would sure mean a lot to me and Justin Long.

Yeah, get out and see it but if it's in your town see it before Friday because that's when it might switch to some other indie movie that needs eyeballs. Fran Drescher's in it,

Richard Schiff's in it, Kate Berlant who's super funny and amazing. So yeah, I highly recommend my own movie. I actually,

I recommend it too. And if you know me on this podcast, you know I'm terrible at games involving movies and knowing movies and seeing movies, but I'm a lovable presence,

which makes up for it. But I did see After Class because I just had Dan on my podcast, and it's so good. I want to cry it in a good way at the end. Oh, that's nice. I'll take it. Thank you.

A happy cry at the end. Yeah. It is very sweet concerning family, and Richard Schiff is the patriarch in the movie, and he, of course, was Toby Ziegler on West Wing for many years and is a really good actor. Toby Ziegler on West Wing for many years and is a really good actor. Yeah, Ziegler.

Right? And I got to meet, I'll get to you in a second, and I got to, I just have to drop this story because it's so funny. Dan had Richard Schiff at a Q&A the other night for After Class here in L.A., and I went to it, and then afterwards we were all going to go get drinks and Richard Schiff just gave me and two other people that were complete strangers to him not only gave us a ride in his fancy

car but he also just told us fascinating things the entire time. It was very open and that's the weirdest first meeting of a celebrity I've ever had. Do you remember a fascinating thing that he shared with you? It was mostly stuff about his wife,

but she looks like naked, so it was like... It was a little rough. There was three of us. There was a woman and another guy that I didn't know in the car. It was weird. It was like a strange... It gave me the idea that celebrities should just, on their days off, just for the fuck of it, just Uber.

But only picking up fans. Like it has to be people that request that celebrity because then that way, you know, you could tell them stories and stuff and they'd be into it. Great idea. Speaking of great ideas ideas Dustin Ibarra is here everybody yeah great idea I know

that was a nice second it was a great idea to finally introduce my my fourth guest thank you for being here Dustin thanks for having me man always nice to see you

you're running off to Texas this week I am running off to Texas this week to do some shows off to Texas this week. Do some shows. Do some shows out in Hyena's old Randy Butler. He booked me, man. So I got to do Dallas.

Okay, we usually don't get into specific bookers of the clubs. Oh, no. I want to know, was it an email or a text? Oh, this is something, dude, I've known forever. And he's one of those country, like, hey, man, just come out, do the show. Dustin, don't get drunk on stage, man. I'm like, all right, chill, dude. I'm not going to.

Kick back, Randy. It's interesting. It was very interesting. I was going to ask a little later if anybody had some impressions to do, but you've already given us one. Oh, but no one knows Randy, by the way. It was a great impression. I know him. It is Randy, right? Is that not point? No, you nailed've already given us one. Oh, but no one knows Randy Butler. It's a great impression. I know. It is, guys. Is that not point?

I know you nailed it. That's a good impression. It's America's Got Talent type shit. Let's talk. What's up? Prize bag. Oh, and mine? Do you want to go first? Sure. I want to. Okay, cool. What has Dustin got? Alright, well, let's just bring the big thing out first.

Bam. It's a football made of chocolate. What? Yeah, I bought it at Ralph's. That is so strange. Right? It looks real. Christmas. What the fuck?

It's got like real football bumps on it yeah it's like bumpy like a real football very insane the threads are like white chocolate is that the deal yeah laces out lace ventura but it's hollow or that's where they get you you know it's a hollow chocolate i want a thick oh i want a chocolate i like a nugget of chocolate that's solid how do you think maybe like if you went to the park you could slip it into somebody's um slip it into somebody's game mid-game just watch them the first time somebody throws or catches it they just just implode. Go along! It's a diabetic and hits them in the teeth. They die.

It sucks! Come on, man. Doug, I once worked with an actor named George Clooney. And he... I don't know if any of you have heard of him. He's a practical joke. I mean, he's no Richard Schiff, but go ahead. Well, it relates

is the only reason I'm piping in. I don't know your show, but I'm piping in. And anyway, he... John Hawk's coming in hot. Don't mind if I pipe in, do you? No. Okay, I'll continue. So I was on the ER set,

and every morning there was a bowl of hard-boiled eggs, and I watched George come in one day and take a couple of of hard-boiled eggs and I watched George come in one day and take a couple of the hard-boiled ones out and put several from his pocket into the bowl

and then stand back a few feet, walk up when people got near the bowl, take out one he knew was real, crack her up, and start,

how's it going today? Several other people, they got hollow eggs, so this is the thing. Fucking hollow Clooney eggs. Hollow eggs, man. Good night and good luck. Good looking people are dicks, man.

I must say, George is an amazing human being. Yeah, full of practical jokes, though. And espresso. Yeah. He got me several times, too of practical jokes though. And Nespresso. Yeah. He got me several times too along the way. I think he did that commercial as a joke. Oh.

Yeah, like the money went to some very specific thing he wanted money for. He's like, oh, I'll just do this dumb ad and then I'll get the money. I thought it was a Game of Thrones episode. I thought it was like a spin-off type thing. Give me the ball. Pass the ball.

And what else? I have a t-shirt and kettle corn. So there you go, guys. Doug Loves Movies gift bag. Oh, it's like microwave popcorn. Why'd you call it kettle corn? Because it is, man.

I thought that I was going to get popcorn, but call it kettle corn because it's because it is man because the flavor i thought that i was gonna get popcorn but it was kettle corn and i don't like that shit when you want to eat popcorn you want to eat popcorn you know what i'm saying so where does it say kettle corn on this thing exactly they need to like change that because normal people like me see it it's like oh i'm gonna use some popcorn then it's all sweet and you're like what's what is this shit so anyway yeah, yeah, there you go. Yeah, and the shirt says I heart nuggets on it. Yeah, I've been tracking this.

Because he's a big sports fan. Or Chicken Mick. Yeah, yeah. All right, Allison, what do you got for us? I have all sorts of things. How much of them are edible? Three small ones. Okay.

Let's see here. First of all, it comes in an ARIYNBF tote bag. In the font of friends. That's right. For Alice Moses, your new best friend. Thank you. Let's see. A candle.

May I smell it? Please. I would be insulted if you didn't. It's Votivo. Yeah. That's a good brand. I think this is going to be good. That's nice. Anybody else want to hit?

Pass it. Nice. Those shoes? They are. Nice. Those shoes? They are. Yeah. Would you like to unveil the shoes? Let's unveil the shoes. Yeah.

Are they boys' shoes or girls' shoes? Let's do a gender reveal. Oh, they're girlish. They're girly, yeah. Whoa. They're some little... So soft. It's a spa-like slipper things that you can wear around your house.

They're so soft and fuzzy. Unworn. Oh, if you like things that smell good, this is some Joe Malone English Oak and Red Current body cream. Unused. Doesn't smell good to you? Is that the problem? Why are you getting rid of it?

Well, look. What's wrong with it? I don't think, much like Dustin here doesn't love kettle corn, but there's nothing wrong with kettle corn. I don't love this scent. I do like it. It's just not something I would use. Joe Malone sounds like a fake video game boxer. The guy he got a beat on Mike Tyson punch.

Joe Malone. Come on in. Yes. The guy, he got a beat on Mike Tyson punch. Joe Malone, come on in. Yeah. Fighting and great sense. That's what Joe Malone is known for. Here's a couple books. They're both good. They're just books you like that you're just passing on?

No, Adrienne Brodeur, I had her on my podcast and I received two copies of her book. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's renowned and well-regarded, and they're making a movie of it. What's the title? It's called Wild Game, My Mother, Her Lover, and Me. Oh. Yeah.

That is a wild game. It's quite assorted. It's assorted tale. What do you think they played, chutes and ladders? And then here's one called Consent, and I also received two copies of this oh i did not agree to have that book on that table here's another tote bag because you can't have too many oh wow yeah backup tote bag yeah that's good here's the edible put your chocolate football in it some fruit gummies which my two-year-old son calls yummies.

Because that's cute. And then look, an ARIYMBF pop socket. Oh, those are very nice. You can't sell these. Those only go to my highest level Patreon people and some lucky winner here. And then, wait, what is this? It's like clowns coming out of a box. Some stickers. This is a lot of stuff you guys are doing.

Are you moving? some stickers this is a lot of stuff you guys are moving I mean I did consult the giveaway pile but this came straight from my personal collection and then look

one of the dates that Dustin is going to plug for me later so I'm doing my show live at Sketch Fest and my old band is reuniting to the musical guest

and here's one of our CDs oh what's the name the Angoras yeah you do is reuniting to the musical guest. And here's one of our CDs. Oh. What's the name? The Angoras. The Angoras. Yeah. You do? I feel like, would I not?

It's possible you would. We're active. You might be thinking of the Cardigans. Yay. A lot of sweater bands. 97 to 2002, 2003-ish. We were down in Orange County, and we toured a bit. Yeah, I think so.

And the cashmere's are excellent. That's all my stuff. Beat that, you guys. Well, it's not a competition. Don't feel any pressure, fellas. I mean, I can't wait to see what's in your bags, guys. We discussed this earlier today when I saw you, and you were like, I don't think I'm going to,

I don't have anything. You kind of like faked me out. I know. I'm a competitive person. Yeah, that's what she did. Who's next? I don't have anything. You kind of faked me out. I know. I'm a competitive person. That's what she did. Who's next? I don't know. Would you like to do it, John? I'd love to do it. Thank you very much. Doug's eating these

yummies. What do they call them? Oh, there it is right there. Those are box flavored. It's hard to find. There it is. Alright, first is the re-gift because I feel there should always be one re-gift in the bunch. It's like when you get married. It would be the Waylon and Willie album, simply called Waylon and Willie, given to me by my niece, and if she's listening, I already had it.

I did not have the Townes Van Zandt, so thank you very much for that one. I've got a serious book, Letters to a Young Poet by Raniere Maria Rilke. I don't know how to make jokes about this. It's pretty amazing, though. There we go. That's very nice. And finally... Two buttons.

One that says, with a man going like this, which is easy to see from home, I guess. I like sight gags on the radio. Who doesn't? This one is a man with his arms out exclaiming, why God, why? And then this one, this one here

actually says, these are little rock and roll badges for those listening at home. This one says gang member. In kind of funny writing, so it won't be taken very seriously, hopefully. These are little rock and roll badges for those listening at home. This one says gang member. All right. In kind of funny writing, so it won't be taken very seriously, hopefully. Try it through the airport. I did.

There you go. Enjoy. Thank you so much for all of that stuff. And a Sammy's camera bag. Yeah, I've got too many Sammy's camera bags. Yeah, I think we'll need to bag. I think we'll need to re-bag this. Allison, can you help out with that?

Yes. Dan, what do you got? All right, I got some stuff. Oh, can you help out with that? Yes. Dan, what do you got? John passes that bag there. I don't live here, so I didn't have stuff from home. So I went to Amoeba Records and I got a fresh Prince of Bel-Air air freshener, which I thought was kind of fun. All the prices on it.

I got to take that price off. Although I thought it was reasonable. It's still on there. You'll know. Okay. For our friend Alex Brightman, I got Beetlejuice Playing Cards. Did you hear he's going to play John Belushi? Did you know that, Doug? That Alex Brightman's

going to play John Belushi in a new biopic that I read years ago that's really good and Todd Phillips is directing it, I think, if I heard correctly. And you're going with biopic? Thank you. I do like biopic, yeah. We've argued about this before once.

There's a couple different schools on that. There's the ones that are right and then how you say it. Sorry, guys. I got a joint, a pre-rolled joint that I didn't know. Oh, that's a lovely gift. Yeah, it seemed pretty good.

I'll hang on to that. Let's see if I can roll it. Roll it know. Oh, that's a lovely gift. Yeah, it seemed pretty good. I'll hang on to that. Roll it. Let's see if I can roll it. Roll it down. Oh, it's sticky. And if you like that, you'll probably like these Fun Dip candy canes, where you can dip the candy canes into the Fun Dip. Oh, weird.

And I got that on Walgreens on the way over, and I hope someone enjoys it. God, I've never, with candy canes, I've never thought, oh, it needs more. I mean, can I dip it in something? Right, but don't you think the candy cane is like the milky stick? I would assume that would be the flavor of it, and then you would dip it in. Oh, no, it's still going to taste like a candy cane. It's going to taste fucking awesome. Where's that one from, Dan?

That was from CVS. No, Walgreens. I just love that you sourced every gift. I want to make sure we know exactly where they're from. I love that he described it as a milky stick. Isn't that what the thing is? No? Did I make that up?

Oh, the liquor stick thing. The stick that comes with fungal. Yeah, I think it's like just sugar flavor. Yeah, the licumade or whatever that's called. Those have a really weird flavor to them. I love it. Yeah, this is very Big Lots Christmas right here. All right, well, I can verify that these Mott's fruit things are yummy.

Yummies indeed. So you get one empty bag on that. Two full ones, though. And then I won't even touch the Fun Dip and the candy canes, even though I'm very curious. I'm helping you bag. I'm like an eager grocery store clerk. Thank you so much. We've got an errant bag.

Do we need to handle that? I'll just put that in the bag. Oh, that's a Ralph's bag. They have good bags. Go to Rouse for the bags. So good. Alright. Now that we got that out of the way,

let's start with you, Allison. You know this is where the hard questions start coming. I have seen some movies. Is that what the questions are? I just want to know what the last movie you saw was. Oh, just, you don't want to hear all four that I just saw?

Mm-mm. Okay, the last one was Crazy Rich Asians. I was just on a plane, which is where I caught up on some movies. I enjoyed all of them. I'll only talk about

Crazy Rich Asians, though, because that's the one I saw right before I landed. And? I liked it a lot. So good. Yeah, it really, I was fairly captivated from the beginning. I expected it was going to be sort of a slow rom-com

that it was going to take a while to draw me in. But no, right away. Can I just say really long straps for a tote? Yeah, I sewed it myself. I guess I didn't follow the pattern correctly no I actually like it

you do okay good because I don't like when I put on a tote and like the it's right up in your armpit yes like this one is

like yeah it's it gets some distance exactly a shoulder bag yeah it's kind of a shoulder bag rather than a tote

that's right it's not a it's no clutch but anyway um crazy rich Asians congratulations thank you It's no clutch. But anyway, Crazy Rich Asians, congratulations. Thank you. You did it.

I hope it does well, this movie. Yeah. This little indie that I saw. I'm pretty sure Crazy Rich Asians 2 is a go, right? Yeah. You got a figure? I think so, because... So I was like, who is this woman who played the lead character?

And that was Constance Wu who had that whole scandal because, you know what I'm talking about? What was her scandal? When it was announced that Fresh Off the Boat was doing another season, she tweeted something about how unhappy she was. And she came off kind of like a diva because she was really ungrateful. But she just talked about how this was really awful for her. And the speculation was that because she wanted to be free to do Crazy Rich... The sequels. Yeah.

But instead, now she was going to have to do Fresh Off the Boat. Yeah, you give them a taste of the big screen. They don't want to go back. She didn't want to go back. That's what happened to me. You were in some movies. Then you did TV. Can't not go back.

Everybody does everything now too though. There's not any kind of stigma anymore. Especially now that like you know fucking Apple TV makes a show and they're already winning awards. Jeez. Not nominated I should say. Good for them. What was the last movie you saw, Dustin? I saw

A Star is Born. Which one? Oh, the new one with Bradley Cooper. Were you on a plane? I was on a plane, dude! How did you know that? We didn't even talk about that. People are going to be confused what year this is when they're listening to the podcast, don't you think?

Yeah, all of my guests are just catching up on movies from last year. I know, right? No, I did. I did see it on a plane, yeah. I wonder if it was, because I think that's one of those movies where they have like, did they drop out the F-bombs?

I don't think so. I don't know. They might have. They might have. I was impressed by Bradleyombs? I don't think so. I don't know. They might have. They might have. I was impressed by Bradley's acting. I couldn't think of any other profane. His nose was so alcoholic, bro. It looked like a fucking orange peel, dude. Yeah, he really did.

I could just see him sitting in the makeup chair. Like, I look like shit today. Don't do anything. Leave me alone. Don't do anything. Leave me alone. Don't touch it. It's perfect. And then Sam Elliott comes in.

Get your shit together. Get your shit together, son. You're my little brother. I like how they have a heart-to-heart 10 feet from where someone's the musical guest on SNL.

Goddamn it, you're embarrassing yourself. Oh, fuck. I was in Tombstone. I got shot. I can't use my arm. Fucking the cowboy was my arm.

Do you like that movie, Tombstone, John? Which one? Tombstone? Which one, one or two? I'm not seeing either. two? I've not seen either. Really? I don't watch a lot of movies. You don't? That's why I'm here. That's why you're here, to represent the people who don't watch movies.

Well then what am I doing here? But you've been in so many of them that that makes up for it. I've seen a lot of those. Not all, but a lot. Tombstone, I think, you know, is I'd imagine some people involved in Deadwood have seen Tombstone and think of it as an inspiration

in Tombstone or in Deadwood I believe I think Paula Malcolmson might have played Sam Elliott's wife in Tombstone I'm not sure if only we had a device in our hands that we could look up and try to find an answer to a question I'm your huckleberry I like to go old school with it.

I like to think you were right about everything you were just saying. You want to go old school, baby. Pick up one of these. Look at that, son of a bitch. How long have you been a drug dealer? That's the smallest phone that's suspenseful I've ever seen in my life. When are you going to throw that burner away?

That's a Nokia 99. Does that have an antenna that pulls up? Please enjoy, it says. Jeez, man. It says please enjoy on the back. It says please enjoy on the back of it. Please enjoy. That's like Russian spy technology. It certainly is.

It's the new wave. We're all going to get them now. So you watch a lot of movies and content on that thing? You know, people send me photographs. I can't take pictures, but people send me photographs and it's the size of a postage stamp. Yeah, it's tiny, but you can look at it.

Is that the Grand Canyon? No, it's my grandmother. I'm like, oh, she looks good. Which part of her? It's confusing. I can't really see much of anything on it. I ask people not to send me... My dearest friends who know my phone doesn't work send me lots of pictures all the time. Emojis

don't work either. They're just little rectangles. I just have to guess. I had that when I wasn't updating my iPhone. I was just getting the newer emojis. I was just getting question marks. You just go like, what the fuck am I missing out on? Is it bad that I don't care?

No, not at all. You're smart. You're the smartest person here. The irony being, you said if only we had a little device in our hands where we could look up the answer, but you don't have one. No, but someone always does. This is the great thing. I don't need to watch anything anymore. I can just walk around and ask people about things. Do you recall the last motion picture you watched?

Yes, it was last night. If I'd forgotten that what was it i wouldn't be here ishtar i'm kidding i just i i didn't see it i just like saying it that way sorry ishtar um i want to say it again but i'm not gonna uh i saw a parasite last night oh cool yes good movie right yes maybe overhyped uh for me i expected too much i did Parasite last night. Oh, cool. Yes. Good movie, right? Yes. Maybe overhyped for me. Maybe. I expected too much. I did.

I expected too much. It does happen. That's a movie where expectations in any direction are not great because it kind of plays with expectations. Yeah, I was lucky to know nothing, I would say. And I think it's a pretty great movie, but I wonder if it's the best movie of the year like like it's winning a lot of things yeah maybe maybe peanut butter falcons people are best movie might be the best movie i peter butter falcon is just unbeatable in terms of emotionally for me i just like i just dig everything about it like there's parts that make me laugh so hard and then you come in scare the fuck out of me. That's my job.

That's like my stepdad. Minus the laughing. Nah, he would laugh. He does the laughing. He was the joker, man. He was a weird guy. Oh, shit. All right, Dan.

It's on you now. Well, I watched Dolomite again the other night just because I just, I don't know. They've already made a sequel? No, no, no. I wanted to watch it over time. I don't know. There's something about that movie that's just infectiously positive. That Eddie Murphy performance just has so much fucking heart in it,

and it kind of made me feel good, and I like those writers. And I watched the original Dolomite again, and I understood a lot of the jokes that I didn't before. That's my answer. Yeah, I think there's definitely layers to it, because if you haven't seen the Dolomite, the original... Anyway, what you just said. Thanks.

Are there a lot of Easter eggs at the end? Dolomite? Of Dolomite again. Yeah, does Thor show up? Are you bringing up easter eggs just because you're in the movie hop yeah i know

residuals what are you gonna do come on rent it it's still good celebrate easter i don't care what religion you are

just do it okay well so the next thing i wanted to do before we get to the uh the game part of the show which i should be getting to but but this is so fun, is start with you, Dan, because you're making a face.

Do you do any impressions? No, I've been thinking about it since you mentioned it like 20 minutes ago. I got nothing. As a director, don't you sit there and watch the performances and kind of get used to their cadences and stuff? You and your editors always kind of quote people in your movie because you kind of start to fall in love with the shit they do. I was thinking maybe I would try to do Let the Games Begin. Like, you know, your impression of Tom Hardy doing Bane doing Let the Games Begin. I was thinking maybe I would do that.

High concept. You know, like, just do that. That's all I got because that just seems like maybe, I mean, no offense to you. Probably not difficult to do. But I bet i've never attempted it out loud so it might not be good at all and also i don't want to like kick that off yet because we're not up to that well you know everyone knows that this is just a false uh let the games begin that it's not really beginning uh all right well maybe maybe we should both do it and people see people home can see which one's doing the real one alright no I'll do mine I'm just kidding

he was like it's like right away he's like that's not it shit can you do yours one more time well that's the thing it's funny you should say that because I don't put a lot of the Bane I don't put a lot of the juice into the let the games begin because I say it on the show every week so it's more like I just yell it

and he doesn't really if I was show every week, so it's more like I just yell it. And he doesn't really, if I was doing it as him, it would be more like, Let the games begin. Oh, I'm not going to follow that. Whereas when I'm doing it at the show, it's more of a

Let the games begin. And it doesn't sound as much like him. Just to put myself, I'll do it, but I'm not going to. Okay, do it. Let the games begin.

You can't laugh at this. See, that was good. That was good. You nailed it. If I had like three more, I think I could have gotten there. All the games begin. See, that was good. That was good. I think I could have gotten there. Thanks, guys. John, what about you? Are you a mimic? I got a couple. They show my age, though.

Oh, perfect. Here's Thomas Edison. I'm joking. This one is they're both from 60s television and one's from 70s. Oh, these are both brilliant already. They're both very short. From the original series Bewitched. Wow.

Darren speaking to his wife. I would say actually Dick York, Darren. Not Dick Sargent. And you know that Dick York was Darren. Not Dick Sargent. And you know that Dick York was in no time for Sargent. It's very confusing. But anyway, it's true. So this would be Darren calling out through his wife, Sam.

Sam? It's a little strident. Hang on. No, wait a minute. Sam? Yeah, that's it. That's it. That's a little strident. Hang on. No, wait a minute. Sam? Yeah, that's it. That's it. That's it. All right.

The first time was him going through puberty, and the second time was when he was very dumb. This next one's going to be harder because it's a very similar impression, but it's pitched higher, so I don't know if I'll be able to do it. Good luck, everybody. I understand. This is Barney Fife in the beloved Andy Griffith show. Bonnie Fife and the beloved Andy Griffith show. Now, man.

Almost. You don't have to try. I get two shots. Yeah. Now, man. Pretty close. Pretty close. I like short impressions.

I really do. Dustin? That's all I got, Dustin. I'm going to stand up for this one. Oh, no. This is Aquaman. Oh, shit. I forgot about your classic. Oh, shit. I forgot about your classic. Hey,

Shroff. You guys ever finger a jellyfish? It'll sting if you fuck. Alright. Alright. That's a good facial transfer. Here's Jack Black.

No, no, nah. You ever fuck a jellyfish? Wait, all your impressions talk about the blessing jellyfish? Yeah. You ever fuck a jellyfish? You ever fuck a jellyfish? Who was that one?

I don't know. I just do impressions until people tell you don't know. Hey, yeah. You just do impressions until people tell you who they are. Yeah. Christopher Walken. Oh, yeah.

That did sound like Christopher Walken. He fucks jellyfishes in the 80s before the laws. I made out with a jellyfish. That stunk me.

Hey. A jellyfish with your shine box. Two different movies combining. Wouldn't you want to say like a jelly fish? There's always a pause. Yeah.

Hey, Jellyfish, get your damn hands off her. That's Crispin Glover and back to the... Oh, very good. Get your damn hands off her jellyfish. You want to fight a real man?

Well, that was a great round of impressions, you guys. Don't you want to hear my electric guitar mouth noises? Are you the new Michael Winslow speaking of older references

yeah I don't get the reference but maybe he's the guy from the police academy movies that makes noises with his mouth he invented making noises with your mouth

oh well then I don't want to do it tours with Jimmy Walker does he yeah that's a fun show yeah dude right

one guy talks about dynamite the other one makes the noise I saw Michael Winslow one time his closer is he just plays clips from Star Wars and makes all the noises and you're just sort of sitting there going well if you just played the clip we would know the difference

because he's so good at making the noises pew pew or whatever so it's like Star Wars karaoke what? like Star Wars karaoke

it kind of is yeah because I mean especially he was really good at Chewbacca I can't get it I feel like you did it I feel like I'm sitting next to Chewbacca That was Baby Yoda

Does Baby Yoda make noises? I think so Oh no Sure Does he? He's becoming increasingly so Oh no Sure Does he? He's becoming increasingly verbal I think Oh he's verbal already?

No like you know Omitting noises Oh he might be racist actually We gotta watch that That's a problem It's not easy being green Alright so As aforementioned,

this is a part of the show where I say, let the games begin. And people, and when I say people, I mean five audience members, I think. Possibly six. Made some sort of name tag. Thrown all of the small variety.

Ooh, somebody just scribbled something on a piece of paper. I always love that. So if each of you could just go, and John, what we do here is physically pick the person whose name tag you like the most for whatever reason, and then just bring it back to your seat, and then that's who you're going to be playing for tonight.

Thank you. You're welcome. Everybody's so nice and calm. There's no sponsors for this episode, so we don't need to go to a break. You get to hear all of the name tag selecting action. John's really surveying the room. There's only a few left for him to choose from

because everybody else grabbed theirs so fast. Nobody went for yours? Nobody went for a bag that he's gripping? The fool had a Ralph's bag with a marker on it. No, I think he picked a good one there,

John, based on what's taped to it. I think you're going to be happy because that's yours to keep. You can keep the manila folder. Really? You can keep the scotch tape.

And you can keep that little tube, whatever. I don't know what's in that tube, but you can keep that as well. And you're playing on behalf of a futile and stupid Jason. It's our friend Jason in the audience who comes to the show a lot. And, yeah, that's who. So if you win today, he's going to get all this stuff. All of it? Yeah.

Jesus. Yeah. You really are hoping he doesn't win, to be honest. I hope he didn't walk. I'm hoping you don't win. That's a lot to carry. Yeah, are you going to be able to carry all this stuff, Jason? Yeah.

We parked close. We parked close. It's a team effort. Did your name tag get picked, too? Yep. They both got picked Two name tag household? Woo!

I like this movie The National Lampoon's movie I don't know if you saw it on Netflix I haven't seen it yet, I do want to see it Will Forte is a great With the pun of the contestant's name changed As you'll see in all of our posters Let's see yours Dan

Mine is Home Alone 2, which at first it seemed there was no Photoshopped on, which is why I didn't immediately accept it, but upon closer look, it's Home Alone 2, Lost Ian, New York. Ian. Yeah, Ian. Lost Ian.

Yeah, yeah. So, you know, no facial work. I was just Ian, New York last week, yeah. That's right. Great. So, yeah, I chose that. All right. That's a fun way to pronounce that.

Dustin? I got singing to Lorraine. What is that? I'm singing to Lorraine. That was my favorite movie as a kid, man. Yeah, you know. I like seeing my name in the font there instead of Gene Kelly. You're in a yellow slicker.

You look so adorable. It looks good. Yeah, I like it. Make him laugh. Make him laugh. That was a Singing in the Rain song. I always, whenever I'm driving down Sunset and I get to Camden, I always go, Sunset in Camden, like Debbie Reynolds says in the movie. When she drops him off, she's like, Sunset in Camden, I always go, sunset in Camden! Like Debbie Reynolds says in the movie.

When she drops him off, she's like, sunset in Camden! My mom made me watch that movie too much. That was weird, man. She didn't let me watch violent things, so when I wanted to watch something violent, she was like, it's not sound. But you learned all about how sound got introduced

to motion pictures. And Lena Lamont. Yeah, it's just not real, but yeah. I can be a star. You got so many impressions tonight, but she looked like, she still looked like Jason Momoa when you did that. Lena Momoa. Who do you have there, Allison?

I have Casey No Evil, Here No Evil. Okay. Casey No Evil, Here No Evil, yeah. Who's here with Jason?. Okay. See, no, no evil. Yeah. And who's here with Jason? There's you up there. There I am. Instead of, uh, either Richard Pryor or Gene Wilder, I guess Richard Pryor.

Cause yeah, I don't have black hands like I do there. What did you, did you change the color a little bit? You have orange hands, orange hands. We were trying to make me look like Trump. Small orange hands. Oh. That's true. Alright. Dan's getting some gum.

Uh-oh, where are you going? I'm just worried about John's phone. It's just sitting here. I'm just going to put it back. That's a very expensive device. It's from Narcos 90. Nearly. Okay, so now that we know who you're all playing for,

we're going to play some movie trivia games. And at the end, we're going to have a winner. Let's start with Characters Welcome. This is a game where I name the characters in the end credits of one particular motion picture and you all just guess as often as you like as I say these characters listed in the

end credits until somebody gets the right answer. You've done this before, Dustin. Have I? I think so. Wait, do we answer in order or are we just... Just shout out. Just pipe up.

See that this guy, he doesn't know movies, but he came to play. That could very easily be the answer because it is the holiday season. Okay. That's not right. No, but it will be Christmas, yeah, I bet. Which year did you mean? Because there was the old one and then a newer one, right? John Hughes made one.

An older one. Yeah. Neither, actually. The 99 version. But I like a good pre-guess. Do you have any pre-guesses, Dustin? Home Alone 2. What? Full title is lost in new york lost in new york oh yeah okay no incorrect okay i like to say full title then when you finally say it that still say it's wrong

yeah you knew like there's no reason Why would the wrong answer need to be expanded upon? You're a bad person, Doug. Whose voice was that? That's not right. You're a bad person. You're a bad person. You're a bad person. Whose voice is that?

Here are the names of the characters. There's a character in this movie that they just refer to as Teacher. Christmas Story. The Faculty. Great guesses. No. Dangerous Mind.

Not a great guess. He's a teacher in that movie? Christmas. Oh, okay. Yeah, they wouldn't call Michelle Pfeiffer in the credits Teacher. Well, maybe there was... Okay, fine. There was someone called Curtis.

There was a lady, rather, probably, named Carol. It's a Wonderful Life. No. Cupid is in this movie. Oh. Oh. There's someone called Bernard. Fuck, what was that movie um i know the movie i think i just i think you just gave me a new title for this show fuck what's the name of that movie

there you go it's like new year's day it is no no is there even a movie called that there is yes there is there's a there's a who what Henry Jugglum oh okay yeah but also Gary Marshall

there you go that's the one I was thinking of he thought that was a movie he thought of the cool one every famous person was in it for like

10 minutes right yes yeah yeah and what's her name which one there's somebody who's in Valentine's Day

and then they were in New Year's Day also. Is it Jennifer Goodwin? Playing a really different character. Oh, that's like being in Marvel and DC. How are you going to be

Batman and Spider-Man? Is that possible? Has anybody done that? Mother Nature. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Frosty the Snowman. See, I like what he's doing over there. Hercules.

He's putting it out there. Jack Frost. There's someone listed. There's someone in this movie listed as Elf Quarterback. Frozen 2. Elf. No. Oh.

Goddamn. There's also someone named The Santa Claus Santa Claus 2 Santa Claus is coming to town Santa Claus Tim Allen Hey I'm Tim Allen I'm Santa Claus

Dan was right It's Santa Claus 2 You are welcome Was there not a No subtitle The escape clause? That wasn't part of it? That's part three.

Ooh, good. I'm glad I didn't say that. Yeah, they made part two and they're like, the only thing we did wrong in part two is no subtitle, so we're going to add one

to part three, give Martin Short a call, and all our problems are solved. Yeah. Sorry, Allison. You got, like, prices righted.

That's all right. It's okay. But, Allison. You got like prices righted. That's alright. It's okay. But it means hardly anything. It only means Dan gets to go first in this next game. Yeah, and it's a new one. It's basically an old game, but

it kind of got a slightly new twist on it. For now, I'm calling it Three Hoes. You know, ho-ho and another ho. And it's the actors Tim Allen, Ed Asner, and Billy Bob Thornton have all played versions of Santa in motion pictures. So I'm going to go to you one at a time. I'm going to name a movie,

and you tell me if it featured Tim, Billy Bob, or Ed. That's Tim Allen, Billy Bob Thornton, or Ed Asner. I'm going to start with you, Dan. The motion picture is JFK. Which one of those gents found a space, a little piece of real estate in that long ass

Oliver Stone film? Oh, man. I mean, I've noted down to three people for you. I know, but I really don't, I genuinely don't know the answer. I'm going to guess Ed Asner.

That is correct. Thank God. All right. It's hard enough. I can't believe you didn't remember. He plays JFK. I can't believe that slipped your mind. But now you see how this works?

John? Yes. Which one of those dudes was in a movie called The Satan Bug? Ed Asner or Tim Allen or who's that? Billy Bob Thornton. The Satan Bug. The Satan Bug. I think it's like a flu that was going around.

And bug like... I've got the Satan Bug. Like you're like you're doing to me right now bugging uh let's i'm satan bugging you satan bug um that sounds like a b movie uh let's see they were going to call it the asshole bug just to get lower on the alphabet but then they just sometimes they get stuck in the T's because of the thou part. Then they should go to an asshole bug.

That's just what I think. I'm going to say that that was the Satan bug, that that was Billy Bob Thorne. No, I'm sorry. That's not right. See, now here's your chance, Dustin. You can jump in.

You only have to choose between the other two names. Between two people. Yeah. And it's called the Satan Bug? The Satan Bug. Well, and the two choices are Tim Allen and... Satan.

Satan? Satan. No, Tim Allen's the villain guy. Satan. No. The Satan Bug. Which one? That sounds like a...

Tim Allen might be... No, I... What did you guys build up? Billy Bob Thornton. All right, I'm going to guess Tim Allen. Is that? No. No, are you serious?

Now does it pass to me? Allison. Ed Asner. That's correct. Knew it. You did it, Allison. You're on the board. Tim Allen would be great in the Satan bug, man.

I could see him as a little Satan-y guy. Tim Allen is the Satan bug. What year was that movie? Oh, forever ago. We're talking 50s or something. That's crazy. But he's still got Al from Tool Time in it, too. But I'll give you something more modern to start us off this next part, Dan.

You ready? Yeah, yeah. Who was in Going Overboard? Not to be confused with Overboard. Going Overboard. Starring Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn. Amazing movie. I'm going to say...

Oh, man, what if you're being a jerk and they're all at Asner I'm gonna say Billy Bob Thornton that is correct wow how did you do it is that the Adam Sandler movie

yeah yeah I just happened to watch I have no idea you did yeah it was like a blockbuster like back in the day

it was like Adam Sandler's in this but it was like the thing he did before SNL. Yeah, it was early, early, early Sandler. Okay, we're back on you, John. Jesus. Which one of those dudes was in a movie called For the Boys? I know for a fact. Ed Asner was in For the Boys.

Oh, I wish that fact were true. It's not a true fact, Dustin. I know for a fact Tim Allen, Tool Time. That's not true, Allison. I know for a fact. I know for a fact. I know for a fact Is that Tim Allen on the toilet?

Allison's gonna win now I think it was Billy Bob That's correct Billy Bob Knew it He's in For the Boys With uh I gotta

Bette Midler. I got to throw something in. One of the first cops I ever got when I moved to Los Angeles in the early 90s was in a movie called For the Boys. Don't know who's in it. No, same movie. You're in that movie? Well, yes and no. I got paid to be in the film.

But I'm in some crowd scenes and kept having to tell the people at craft service, I'm really in the film but i'm i'm in some crowd scenes and you know kept having to tell the people at craft service i'm really in the movie don't kick me out because you're not really in the movie but i was cast in the movie like read for the director uh and and the whole bit yeah and then you didn't have lines uh i don't think i ended up with any lines yeah they there's like three guys that they liked, I guess, that they couldn't cast elsewhere. But I saw the movie, and I don't remember any Billy Bob Thornton. So I'm filing an official protest, actually.

Well, Billy Bob really is. Having been in the movie, I should know. Yeah, I didn't think you were in any movies with any of these three guys. No, they made me get a bad haircut, I remember, because it was the 40s. And now that's in, but at the time was not a good thing. Okay. Well, Allison, you got the point. Yes.

This is unexpected. It's like a standoff millionaire. This is how it works. Anybody could win on Douglas movies. Dan, it's your turn again. You're doing great at this. I think I got kind of lucky. Let's go up in time

to present. Which one of these people was in? If it was a present movie, how hard would that be? Alright, sorry. Also, is there such a thing as present movies for these guys on deadly ground Jesus

oh yeah right on deadly ground fuck is that is that like Under Siege 2 is that what we're talking you're not gonna give me

anything huh probably not am I wrong okay Billy Bob Thornton that is correct yes Probably not. Am I wrong? Okay. Billy Bob Thornton. That is correct. Yes.

You did it, Dan. That was my guess. I don't know if that was my guess. Did you know that Steven Seagal saved Alaska in that movie? Okay, we're back to you, John. Yes. The motion picture is called Leave It to Beaver. I was not in that one.

Are you sure? I'm absolutely certain. Leave It to Beaver. Between Billy Bob Thornton, Tim Allen, and Ed Asner. Leave it to Beaver.

I mean, I should give you a point just for remembering the three names. I've got it written down. That's the only way I remember. I've committed them to memory. In order to play the game a little better, I'm going to say that it would be

Tim Allen That is correct! I thought who would be the least possible? Who would be wrong? Take his bait, that's so good. He's a trickster. Dustin? Big trouble.

Big trouble? Not in Little China. In no specific place. It's just big trouble. I forgot something. It came after Big Trouble in Little China, actually. So once Little China was taken care of... Big, there was a Big Trouble after Little China? Yeah.

How are you going to do that? I don't think it's right. No, someone actually went Big Trouble in Little China. No, that came out, and someone in the meeting was like, no, that's cool, we'll just be called Big Trouble. I mean, don't even waste your money on In China. That movie's terrible. In Little China.

I fucked it up, but it still got a laugh. In Little China. Little Trouble in Big Trouble. Big Trouble in Little China. I fucked it up but it still got a laugh. Little China. Little Trouble in Big China. Little Trouble in Big China. Let's go with Billy Bob Thornton. Oh! No! No!

Sorry. This episode's a challenge to the listeners constantly reset your volume all right the movie is big trouble and it is not sorry you just guessed billy bob thornton so it is between Ed Asner and Tim Allen and I'm going to say Tim Allen.

That is correct. Big trouble. What was that movie, man? It had a bunch of people in it. It was like Janine Garofalo and Tim Allen and Janine Garofalo and maybe Stanley Tucci.

Throw in a Tucci. And it's, it was about an airport. Maybe there was a bomb or something. And it came out right after 9-11. It was directed by

the Men in Black guy. But do you know what I'm talking about? That's the movie that came out right after 9-11. So it was like, because I remember

there was a comic, Flip Schultz, and he was a buddy of mine. He was like, man, I got this big movie coming out. And they're like, tanks. it was like, because I remember there was a comic, Flip Schultz, and he was a buddy of mine. He was like, man, I got this big movie coming out, and it like tanks. He was like,

what's it about? Bombings and fucking planes. I don't think it's going to play right now. Okay, Dan, I don't want to put any pressure on you. But?

You'll win this game if you get this next one correct. I'd like to apologize to Jason and just get that out of the way. Sorry. Go ahead, Dan. We still got one more game after this so you could still take this home, John. Oh, okay. Good.

Yeah. What? You still have a chance. I do? Yeah, it's not over. Oh, I would win this particular game. Yeah, all you win is you get to go first in the next game. That takes a lot of pressure off. It's still exciting though.

I'm into it. Which one of those three dudes is in Cars? That's really fucking tough. Ed Asner, he's in Up. He's the guy. I think you're trying to throw me off to that or something. I don't know what I'm trying to do.

Billy Bob doesn't seem like he'd be in that world. But maybe he would. It's kind of a southern down south thing. I'm giving other people too much of my thought process. I'm going to say Billy Bob Thornton incorrect I don't think so Tim John's turn between Ed Asner

and Tim Allen is that correct? in Pixar's Cars is that an animated thing? Mm-hmm. Oh, shit. I didn't know. I didn't know.

It's like planes, but better. I said Billy Bob. You said Southern, though. You said there was a Southern world. Yeah, it's kind of like, it feels a little, like, what's his name? Like NASCAR?

No, who's the guy who's on it? Larry the Cable Guy. Larry the Cable Guy, yeah. Plays Mater the Tow Truck. Right. Tim Allen. I had that one. Correct.

I figured Larry the Cable Guy is in, Tim Allen's in. Thank you. Thank you very much. Yeah, because there's a Buzz Lightyear moment in Cars, and so his voice

is in there briefly, so is Tim Hanks. I love when that happens. Isn't that cute and fun? But also, we've got a tie in this game between Dan and Allison. That was your chance to take it, Dan, but you blew it.

So now, it's just between Allison and Dan. Can we go? No, no, you don't want to leave. We still need you here. We need you. First one. This is just a coincidence. I didn't plan this.

First one to finish the title, I'm going to start to say wins. Ready? Ready? Ready. The Santa Claus 3. The Santa Claus. The escape clause. That's correct. Oh, God damn it. The Santa Claus. The escape clause. That's correct.

Oh, God damn it. Oh, Jesus. It was already. Wait a minute. It wasn't supposed to come up already. Did you write down a backup? No, I didn't write down a backup because I thought that was pretty funny. I mean, I knew I risked that it would come up.

All right. So that means, Dan, you did it. You get to go first in our concluding game tonight. I still keep thinking it's the end of the game every time you do this. This game is for reals. Okay. I'm not going to, at the end of this one, go, no, there's one more game. Because UCB has seven more shows here tonight.

And we've got to turn over this house. Whenever we sell out, we've got to make sure we're on time to turn over the house. This game is called Last Man or Woman Stanton. It used to be called Last Man Stanton, but we've got to change these things, you guys. Yeah. Yeah. And also, people always suggest male actors all the time.

And that's fun. That's cool. But I would like it to be an actress tonight. And so what we're going to do is we're going to get the name of an actress. I'm going to play along because I don't know who it's going to be. And we'll take turns saying movies that person has been in. If you can't think of one,

that's the end of the road. You're out. But you got one lifeline. John, you can go to Jason once. It might be a stupid and futile Jason, but it's still there to help you. Well, we've got a stupid and futile John right alongside, so this should work out well.

Buddy, here we go. This sounds like a buddy movie. One of you could be stupid, one of you could be futile. John was telling an anecdote about Harry Dean Stanton that even Harry Dean can't seem to remember the movies that they've been in together. So apparently that's how this game got its name, that he wasn't great at remembering his own movies.

Is that correct? One of the first times we played it, Harry Dean Stanton was on and he barely won with the films of Harry Dean Stanton. But he did win. He did pull it out. It was a squeaker, but he managed to do it. And it was a lot of

fun having him on the show. Such a great actor. Wonderful actor. Mildly disagreeable guy, but a great actor. Exactly. A great actor. He would not yield when he was on this program. He was not willing to play along as much as you are, John.

Okay. So the person, this is a fun coincidence, the person whose name I chose, because he was the only person who reached out on Twitter suggesting a name for tonight, is Jason, whose name tag you chose. So I don't know if that's going to give you any extra advantage. I don't know if Jason knows what would be a good actress to choose for John Hawks to play. How many times can I go to Jason?

Just once. But he is going to provide the name, so I think he'll be a good person to go to. An actress, specifically? Actress, please. Drew Barrymore. Drew Barrymore. Some want less. I want Barrymore. Some want less. I want Barry Moore.

Dan? You start. We'll go the other way. We'll go around this way. E.T. The extraterrestrial. And his adventures on Earth. I'm going to say let's go early I'm going to go Firestarter

I've never been kissed Now Allison this isn't the part where we open up about ourselves Oh shit did I say that out loud? I need the title of a Drew Barrymore movie But two kids that's impressive Dustin more movie but two kids that's impressive Dustin the wedding singer

ooh that opens up a whole can of worms John don't go to Jason yet I got an arrow in the quiver what does that mean

sounds dirty I've got I've got one that I was saving but I couldn't you know I got an arrow in the quiver. What does that mean? It sounds dirty. I've got one that I was saving, but I couldn't, you know, I've waited an obscure one. Anyway, a motion picture. Well, if you have a non-obscure one, I would use it first. I know, but I don't have an obscure one. Jesus, Dan. All right, I'm trying to help. Dan, don't direct John now.

Actually, I could use it. You're not on set. Which, by the way, these two gentlemen, did you first meet because of Life of Crime? Yeah. If you haven't seen Life of Crime, it's really good. It's Elmore Leonard and John Hawks is great in it. And Dan, that was the first thing I saw that Dan did. All right.

Anyway, go ahead. What's your... Life of Crime. No, I'm kidding right, anyway, go ahead. What's your... Life of Crime. No, I'm kidding. We just talked about that. She's not in that one. I will say Home Fries. Yes, I was feeling Home Fries.

It's the only one I know. I was feeling that. I was in that. That's the only reason I... I'm so vain. I'm an actor. I only know what I've been in. This is hard.

What else have I been with Drew Barrymore? Wait, you work at the fast food place with her? No, no. I played a guy who Luke Wilson worked with. I took her for a fake little ride in one of the planes when she was pregnant. Come on up, little darling. I was throwing a cigarette. Oh, God.

Sounds terrible. I was wearing coveralls. Oh, wow. You really sound like a freak. I was. That's what I'm meant to be. Yeah. All right.

Well, I'm sorry you weren't in more movies with her because then you'd really walk away with this thing she's a deer by the way but anyway go ahead Charlie's Angels oh okay we're going to do that is that what we're going to do in that case I'm going to have to say

Irreconcilable Differences Mad Love oh irreconcilable differences. Mad love. Oh. Charlie's Angels. Full thrive. Yeah, look at you go. My favorite movie and energy drink combined.

Okay, we're back to you, John. Jason. I'm not asking you what's the name of the film. I'm kidding, no. Jason, please. What do you got, Jason? Duplex.

He's going duplex. Duplex. With Ben Stiller. Done. 50 first dates. Blended. Poison Ivy. Oh, man.

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Dustin. Dude, I know this one. You know it? Yeah, he's trying to. Just say it. Just go Drew Barrymore in... Cinderella?

Oh, no. Oh. You are... I mean... You're not out yet. Do you want to go to your lifeline? Yes. Can I go to my lifeline, actually?

Lorraine? Lorraine? She says ever after is what you're looking for. I don't think she's right. No, you're right. I'm just kidding. Ever after. Let's do it.

You can disagree with your lifeline. It's true. John, we're back to you. Is this the end of the road? Gone with the wind. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It's a joke.

That's made in 1939. Give me a chance here. Give me some credit, people. There might have been a Barrymore in that movie. Give me some credit here, people, please. Lionel was in It's a Wonderful Life. Let's do the films of Lionel Barrymore. That's right.

I would do better. This is the sad part. You think you'd have two of those? You get an older gentleman in, he's at an immediate disadvantage. I'm telling you. You kids with your long hair and your videos. I've had about enough of it. All right.

I'm going to say... Videos. Poltergeist. Damn videos. What? That's a good pull. Wrong, but... There's a little blonde girl in there.

Sure was. Not as lucky as Drew Barrymore as it turns out, though. Can I go? No, you don't have to leave, just hang out. Definitely take that joint off. That's a legitimate question.

Definitely take your souvenir there. What is it? leave, leave, just hang out. And definitely take that joint off of that. It's a legitimate question, really frankly. Definitely take your souvenir there. What is it? It's one of those fun... Are you ever outside... Are you tearing up? The greatest gift I've ever gotten. Outside about to go to an event, wish you could get high really quick and wanted something that was

just two hits. That's what that is. It's just a tiny... It's funny how we can't like have straws we're gonna be big ass one containers of plastic and shit yeah the packaging is a little troubling on okay yeah we'll share it well depends on how the game goes really two hits you hitting me me hitting the floor damn I'm using have you been talking to me for like five minutes

I've been trying to think of titles during this downtime I just saw on TV because I love watching stuff with Justin Have you been talking to me for like five minutes? I've been trying to think of titles during this downtime. I just saw on TV, because I love watching stuff with Justin, Going the Distance, which is a funny movie. Oh, Going the Distance, yes. Okay. Cake. Oh, so I should just say he's just not that into you. No.

Yes? Yeah. Allison? It would be nice if that was a Drew Barrymore movie. Well, now I need... I'm going gonna pull a Dan and reveal the thoughts in my head

there's one that I'm thinking of that I'm surprised no one said and so it's making me wonder was she not in it so I don't know whether I should say that one

possibly you could go to your lifeline and save that for next time yes I'll do that Casey Donnie Darko

Casey says Donnie Darko are you confident in that yeah oh we all are Donnie Darko yes Donnie Darko are you confident in that oh we all are Donnie Darko yes Donnie Darko thank you very good um well Doug you know amber is the color of your energy 50 first dates it already happened yeah man I was saving that like three minutes. He gave that whole setup. God damn it. The most embarrassing situation ever. Ironically, a movie with someone who has no fucking short-term memory.

55 first dates? A sequel? 5X? Yeah, we already did the whole Drew Barrymore trilogy. We did the 50 for every Adam Sandler. We did the whole Barrymore verse. They're like Rod Hudson and Dorothy Day or whatever her name was. Yes, Dorothy Day. Whatever, yeah.

Let me give you an extra point for that. Dorothy Day and Rod Hudson. Dorothy Day. Doris Day, young man. Jesus. Chelsea's necklace is lighting up, which means it's time to go. I got nothing.

I'm out. I mean... You're out. I'm out. Dan? Am I positive? It's not riding in cars with boys? Yeah, okay.

Yeah, that's a good one. Oh. I just thought of two oh music and lyrics oh boy allison well here's my one that i don't know if she was giving a go scream give it a shot she's the first to die and scream. I thought a parade was going to come through. I just saw the new Charlie's Angels and she has a cameo in it where you can see

that she was an old Charlie's Angels that preceded them. So I think, should that count? Like Charlie's Angels? We already said Charlie's Angels.

We said the other Charlie's Angels. Did you say the year when you said the other Charlie's Angels? No you say the year when you said the other Charlie's Angels? No, do I have to? I can say the year of this one. You sure can. Charlie's Angels 2019.

All right, I'll accept all of this, even though it's ridiculous. I'll accept it. And in the interest of time I'm going to tap because I can't think of anything right away do you have anything

Allison I'm guessing she really did a good job she was actually she was they showed footage like remember

last year the Charlie's Angels defense yeah they showed footage of the first one so scream too I don't think they did no I think they

Dustin I think they did yeah they were like man remember that chick that got killed last year that was fucked up man yeah Jamie Kennedy come here

what the fuck happened well let me tell you a story flashbacks flashbacks yeah it was all these bitches kidneys were on the ground

weird yeah yeah that's not true what's the one what's the one she's in where she's a Red Sox fan did you guys Oh my god

I knew that the whole time And I don't know The fucking title Oh You gave me one though I love it too Where you say She's the Red Sox fan

It's like That's totally not What it's about No the Red Sox Won the World Series They did Yeah But he

Her boyfriend's a fan She's just fucking sad. She wants to go hang out with E.T. Well, someone please tell me... It's like a happy ending that his team won, but it's just like, no, he's just going to be terrible to her still. They're going to lose the next few years.

Yeah, they're going to lose again. When the Cowboys lose, domestic violence goes up in Texas. That shit happens in Boston too, I bet, you know? All right. Well, thank you happens in Boston, too, I bet. You know? All right. Well, thank you. Thank you, Dustin, for that. Okay, so where are we at, Dan?

Yeah, well, I know the name of that one, but I feel like maybe it's... Do you know the name of the one he's talking about? The Fan? Yeah, yeah, it's called The Fan. Then no, I don't. I feel bad using it. Should I use my lifeline

well I mean I think you won regardless yeah but let's see what your lifeline wants to say no I have used mine

she did okay sorry you were too busy thinking fever pitch but I don't yeah yeah yeah

but go to your lifeline oh yeah Ian you got something Whip It Whip It that's a great one I was going to say Whiplash

but I knew it was wrong that's good yeah she's Crash Lee Simpson in that or something like that. She's got a fun name. Like the Devo song Whippet? It's like a roller derby movie. Ellen Page.

I could go for some Whippets right now. Short term, but very enjoyable. Well, let's call it. It's official. It's official. Dan Schechter is our winner, everybody. Hey, Ian. That means, Ian, come get all your

stuff. It's a lot of stuff. Do you have... Can Casey help you with your stuff? If you want to split that chocolate football later, too. I'm telling you. It's a big football. You cannot pass up the opportunity to just go to a park

and say, hey, go long to somebody and when they run, just throw a fucking chocolate. Hey, kid! Charlie ate the football. Where did you get that? I want one so bad. I was at Ralph's and I was like,

I knew I had to come and do a prize box. I was like, alright, this will be goofy. This will be enough to riff on. I mean, it's brilliant. Right? It's hollow. It looks like a football. I mean, you know, even if you think it's just a little toy football, it's still something

you could throw around. Anyway, I'm way too excited about that. Congratulations, Ian. Good luck. Yeah, you could just sit there for the rest of the show with all your riches at your feet. Enjoy your ladies shoes. I can't believe how much shit this is. The 12 guest show on Thursday night is going to be like this time 15 or something.

It's like Ellen's days of giveaways. Oh, my back. Alison Rosen, plugs. Oh, yes. Come see me live at Sketchfest January 26th Allison Rosen is your new best friend the day before I'm doing a live childish my podcast with Greg Fitzsimmons January 25th

come sfsketchfest.com and listen to my podcast bye Allison Rosen everybody Dustin Ibarra plug away dude Texas I'm going to be a hyenas, man, this weekend. Hopefully it comes out this weekend. You're doing a domestic abuse benefit there, right?

Yeah, you know, for my stepmom. Anyway. I still have that. Yeah, I'm going to be out there, Hyenas Comedy Club, and just add me on Dustin underscore Ibarra with a Y, Ibarra. Ibarra. Ibarra. You know, I'm very Hispanic.

Ibarra. Yes, I'm very Hispanic I'm very diverse Alphabetically you're always at the end But you're first in my heart John Hawks What do you got to plug dude? What's coming up? What do I have to plug? When will this air? Tomorrow-ish This is going to be a little later tonight

Too late for that Too late I was going to be a little later tonight. Too late for that. Too late. I was going to plug this show. No, that's all I got. No, I'm kidding. Let's see. I play music in a combo called Rodney and John.

Dan has seen us play. Please say something nice, Dan. Besides, so good. You guys play like every few weeks at that bar. Is that a thing? Well, this is funny you should mention because it's December 22nd at the Bronson Bar in Hollywood, California. December 22nd, something called Sunday Songs.

Bunch of great artists will be there. Andy Clockwise and Rosa Pullman, many others. And Rodney and John will play at the Bronson Bar on December 22nd. And it's free, so you're on the guest list. Come on down, you guys. Thank you. I think almost everybody here

is probably going to show up at that. Hope so. It's fun. If he finds a place to put all these prizes, he might come too. Bring the chocolate football if you can. That's not making it until the 22nd. And Dan Schechter,

safe. Shit, I almost said it again. Afterclass. I thought you did. I thought you did as a joke. Yeah, check out, look, I know there's a lot of fucking amazing movies

out right now. I think it's like the best year ever, but if you guys want to check it out, making a stocking stuffer for somebody on iTunes or whatever,

I would appreciate or appreciate any thoughts you had in the movie you can find me on Twitter at Dan Schechter dot com it's been a fun movie to chat about with people and I'd love to hear

your thoughts is anybody here seen it all right so chat with them after Dan Doug I didn't I didn't tell people how to follow me

oh okay I have a feeling this is... Go ahead. Subvert expectations? From a safe distance. Yes. Thank you very much. You don't fuck with social media at all.

We saw your phone. No, no. I don't like being followed is the whole thing. Yeah, it's terrible. I didn't like junior high that much the whole thing. Yeah, it's terrible. I didn't like junior high that much the first time. Ooh, okay, here we go. Hey, easy.

Come on now. I'm going to be doing stand-up in San Diego on December 23rd and Irvine December 26th. But you know where all of my dates are, and we'll see you this Thursday night at Largo if you're in the LA area and want to see a massive crazy ass show one more time for all my guests Allison Rosen, Dustin Ibarra John Hawks and Dan Schechter

as always positive energy now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie eyes of gold his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Duck loves movies.