Doug Loves Movies - Jon Dore, Chris Cubas, Nick Thune, and Scott Weinberg Guest

Episode Date: March 16, 2015

Live from SXSW in Austin TX, Doug welcomes comics Jon Dore, Chris Cubas, and Nick Thune and film critic Scott Weinberg to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screening baby sticky seeds With 50 acid popper kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody Hey everybody Hey, everybody. I feel so far away from my guests over here, but I think it'll work. I think we can make this work.

Probably a lot less light show behind me would probably be a good idea at this point. There's really no reason to have anything flashing around back there. It's pretty. It's really nice. It makes for a club vibe, a good club vibe. But we're just going to be talking about movies. Is there probably just a switch you can flip and turn all that shit off?

My name is Doug, and I love movies! My name is Doug and I love movies. Alright, so some of you don't know what's going on. That's cool. Coming to you once again from South by Southwest Film Festival in Austin, Texas. This time we're at Brazos Hall, which is a very difficult venue to get into. All of my guests had a hard time getting in here tonight. That's how tight security is. They're like, who do you think you are?

And they're like, I'm a guest on the show. And they're like, yeah, prove it. So then right there outside the club, they have to prove how much they love movies. It's very awkward. They put them through a very complicated test. This time we're, as I mentioned, we're at Brazos Hall. It's Monday evening in the year 2015 on March

16 Candles. Yeah. And did you guys bring name tags did some of you bring name tags you did badges don't count I want you to know that

I love this gentleman named Tim because he took the movie where Mel Gibson played a mentally handicapped individual named Tim and you just printed out the poster your work is done. You don't have to think of a clever pun. My name is fucking Tim.

No, Gibson played this idiot named Tim. I don't know if idiot's the right word. That might be offensive. What's the last movie you saw, Tim? The Imitation Game. The Imitation Game. Did you like that? I did.

He liked it. All right. Whatever. No, I liked it a lot, too. I was really quite moved by all that that gentleman went through to stop the Nazis and never got full credit for it while he was alive and gay. And never got full credit for it while he was alive and gay. Guardians of the Gal Lizzie? Because your name is Lizzie?

Nice job. And what are you drinking? You seem like you can't stop drinking even though I'm talking to you right now. I'm fucking down that Chardonnay like it's nobody's biz. And what's the last movie you saw, Lizzie seven last night i was there they made us promise to not say how they handled the paul walker situation in the movie but i will say that i think they handled it nicely i think they did a good job with it it was beautiful says Lizzie everybody so check out Furious 7

there's not a lot of movies where one of the actors died that has the word Furious in the title it's kind of interesting thank you to everybody who bought name tags and some of you will be selected tonight by my guests and they will play for you in some games of

movie trivia who here in the audience tonight is just a south by southwest attendee of possibly film or interactive and you uh have never listened to douglas movies applaud if you've never heard the show okay so there's a few of you you going to be confused and maybe get a little sad, but just power through it because the bottom line is we're just here to have fun and not to, not to confuse you. Um, a couple of plugs for later on in the week cause I'm here until Sunday. So, uh, you will of course need badges. Did anybody without a badge get in tonight?

That's awesome. All right, so that works. The system works. People without badges can get into stuff. So forget I said the thing about the stinking badges and come tomorrow night to the Master Pancake Show at the Alamo Lamar at 7 o'clock where we will be doing a mocking of

Leprechaun 3. It's the third year in a row and yes embarrassingly South by is great they're really on it but for some reason it pretty much all the written literature about this master pancake Benson Interruption mashup. They say that I directed Leprechaun 3. And that is absolutely, I'm almost 90% certain that I did not direct any movie, let alone Leprechaun 3.

So thank you for that, South By, giving me that new credit for my resume wednesday night at six o'clock i'm going to be doing stand-up with a bunch of other funny stand-ups at esther's follies and that of course is badges or or if you're uh you know if you stick to it if you have stick-to-itiveness badges or stick-to-itiveness is welcome. And on Saturday, March 21st, we're doing another Doug Lowe's Movies as part of South by Music, and that's going to be over at the Stateside Theater at 420-ish. So hope to see you guys again there. Now it's time for tweet relief, tweets about movies. At FatLip32 32 fat spelled with the popular ph spelling

tweeted women are like liam neeson movies all the good ones are taken this has been tweet relief tweets that are funny but not necessarily accurate tweet relief, tweets that are funny but not necessarily accurate. Addition. I said, can I have a table to put my stuff on and my notes and everything? And they gave me the weirdest, I mean, it's a cool table.

I don't want this table to feel bad about itself. But it really doesn't necessarily satisfy my needs. But I just had a great idea. I'm going to do the whole show standing up, hopefully. I've got a lot of Tito's and soda in me right now. And I'll use my stool as my

table. Nobody gives a shit. Some of you don't even know what's happening. I brought a prize bag. Let's look in the prize bag. We've look in the prize bag. We've got Gateway Doug 2, Forced Fun. My CD from last year.

New CD recorded. Will be recorded on April 20th in Denver, Colorado. I've got a, I think it's an extra, extra large Doug Loves Movies shirt. So whoever wins that can either wear it to bed. Or on their daily activities. I've got a little scarf from Hitman Glass. I've got a t-shirt from my

friends at Star Wars Minute, the very fun podcast that breaks down the Star Wars movies one minute at a time. We talked about I'm on this week talking about Return of the Jedi. A hat.

How often do you get to wear a hat like this in Austin? So maybe somebody visiting from out of town will win this. It's a stab life. That can't be right. Stab life? Slab life. But that still sounds like, I'm dead, I'm living slab life.

I saw a movie the other night called Deathgasm and they gave out some buttons. So there's a nice collection of Deathgasm buttons. I was in New York recently, I saw a Broadway show. Here's my sippy cup that they put my vodka in. The Schubert Theater Organization. And that's it that I brought, but all of my guests brought something.

So let's get them out here. Lots of talented and fun people and film enthusiasts are in the area for South By, and I got four of them for us here tonight. Please give a big warm welcome to John Doerr, Chris Cubis, Scott Weinberg, and Nick Thune. Hey guys, sit wherever you like.

Throw your prizes on the floor. Yeah, garbage anyway. Just dump prizes on the floor. Garbage anyway. Just dump it on the floor. I feel like if somebody walked in and didn't know what this was, they would think it was the Doug Loves Beards podcast. I really do. I've assembled four of the finest beards in the

city. Some visiting, some live here. We're going to decide tonight which one of you guys has the best beard. Which one gets to keep it. Good luck to everybody. I think he wins the best beard simply because he looks like Leonardo DiCaprio finally hit puberty.

Or if you just Google him like him right now. I like how all four of you have beards but have decided to go entirely different directions with what's on the top of your head. There could not be four more wildly different examples of

top-of-head style. I'm the only person I know who gets chemotherapy voluntarily, because I like the hairstyle. That's sad. It got sad quick, didn't it? There's nothing like bringing up cancer at the top of a show to really set the mood. No, that would be a bad idea.

I'm just going to go on board and say I hate cancer. You're really taking a stance there, Nick. Controversial. I'm on the fence. I'm going to go on a run against cancer. What is it? Is it a run for being against cancer? How do you describe it?

I run against cancer research no I'm for cancer research why would I run against it? I don't know just do the AIDS walk it's easier yeah say that to somebody who has AIDS anyone have AIDS?

wow that's an interesting question to throw to the audience. It is so early on in the proceedings. I wanted to carry through with it, you know? Yeah, no, you did a great job. Will you pretend you have AIDS for a second? Nobody has AIDS. Does anybody want AIDS?

Because I can... It's actually my gift for the prize bag is AIDS. Is that true? No, he just brought a copy of Philadelphia. It prize bag is AIDS. Is that true? No, he just brought a copy of Philadelphia. It's not exactly AIDS, but it's close. Yeah, that was the original title. That's not how it spread?

It wasn't because people just kept watching that movie? I don't know. It's not fair. I'm from Philadelphia, and when people think of Chicago, they think of dancing, and when people think of Chicago, they think of dancing. And when people think of Philadelphia, they think of people, lawyers dying of AIDS. Not fair.

This is fun so far. I'm having a good time. It's nice and light. I'm from the suburbs of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. We don't talk like that. Hi, Doug. Hi. That's John Doerr, ladies and and gentlemen let's introduce these guys individually give them the credit they deserve uh you got some stuff for the prize bag john i do yeah um

normally now i found out that i'd be doing this uh when i left home otherwise i would have brought something a little bit more personal. But I wanted something with a movie theme, so I brought a John Wayne lunch pail. That's pretty good. If you listen to the podcast, that's a damn good gift. Also died of cancer.

Does it go over here? The best gifts are the one where the person giving it has to explain what a great gift it is. This is a really amazing gift. Non-John Wayne fan. Oh, and also some prosciutto to go inside of it, I forgot.

Oh, okay. That's a cured Italian meat. It's a little salty. You may not want to eat that if you have AIDS or cancer. Now. Is that really true?

How long has that not been refrigerated for, by the way? It just came out of the refrigerator. It is from the minibar. To those listening at home, Doug is now opening the lunchbox. Doug's beating his meat. Putting the cheese in the lunchbox. That's a pun about masturbation. And now he's holding the lunchbox up. This lunchbox can be somebody's.

It will be. Yeah, if the price is right. Okay. Who was the next to speak? I can't even keep track of everybody. Let's go down all the way to the other end and say hello to Mr. Scott Weinberg, everybody. Hello! Movie enthusiast.

My name is Scott Weinberg. I write film reviews for a UK company called The Horror Show and, of course, the excellent excellent nerdist.com. And I'm basically, it's my 13th South By, and I'm just here writing about movies. I've written about 14 reviews, and and I got like 14 more to go.

I brought a local favorite ABCs of death part one. Blu-ray. Blu-ray. Weinberg don't fuck around. I saw you guys would fill that space where I was walking back. No, I think. I think the one again. You were doing a bit, man.

We're going to do it again in a second, but thank you for being here, Scott. And like he mentioned, he's from Philadelphia. That's where... Is that where we met? We met here in Austin. We met here. We met in many, many cities

and many dark corners. That's a weed-smoking reference, not a brain preference. It's whatever your listeners want it to mean, Douglas. All right. Nick Thune is here, everybody. Nick Thune. Thank you very much.

Nicky T. I'll fill the time. When you walk to get his gift, I'll fill the time. Okay, good. If you need some material, check out these socks right here, man. Bam. They're like... That's a good bit for the listener. You all have

interesting socks or no socks. That's what you guys have. This is exotic sock wear in Philadelphia. Nobody's just wearing a standard white. Nick, what'd you bring for the... Don't be so racist. Sorry. What would you bring so racist sorry what'd you bring for the prize bag nick i brought a couple of my favorite movies um copy of pain and gain

and the dictator i like how people don't know if you're kidding if those are your favorite movies or not they don't want to laugh because that'd be rude They were my favorite movies that were Buy one get another movie free at Vulcan Video this morning But they're definitely both tread the line Between great and awful I am a trained film critic Doug And I'll tell you they're both shit

Alright well you know But they're souvenirs From an awesome show Kind of hoping to get The Rock on this show Or maybe Sacha Baron Cohen, so thanks for your help. Actually, Painting Guinea is all right. They're both all right, I think. Anyway, they're in the prize bag,

so whoever wins them, please tweet at me and confirm whether or not they're all right. John Doerr is here. Again? You've done me already. But what'd you bring for the bag? Did we talk about that already? Cancer. Why is there a sweet...

This is my favorite because you've done this before. Why is there a bag on the floor in front of you that looks like it would have... It was housing the John Wayne lunch pail with the cured meat. A prize that has a handle on it, you needed to get a bag for it? Can I tell you why?

The lady I bought it from said the same thing and I said, I don't want to walk out with it. I want it to be hidden so it'll be a reveal for these lovely people. The best audience I've ever seen gathered after my entire life. For showmanship, ladies and gentlemen. And don't deflect that just three seconds...

I will never forget the moment when those people saw that lunch bill lifted out of that bag. It was like the briefcase in Pulp Fiction just got opened up in their direction. Don't try and deflect from the fact that you forgot that you introduced me

three seconds ago, Douglas. That's a good point, Doug. I don't deflect. I try to drag comedy out of the situation. Chris Cubis. Hey, hey. Is here, Doug. Local phenom.

What's the matter, Nick? I think you should have gone to me after that just to kind of tap that joke. I don't do that kind of shit. I only make those mistakes accidentally, not on purpose. But let's say hi to Scott Weinberg, everybody. Yo, so what's the deal with AIDS in Philadelphia? Chris, what'd you bring for the bag?

It's both. Besides the loudest voice in the room, what else did you bring? Yes, I'm not the loudest one. If you look inside, there is a copy of The Essential Earnest. You got the bag?

And that's six Earnest featurettes. But none of the ones you know. It's got Earnest goes to Africa, which I of the ones you know. It's got Ernest Goes to Africa, which I didn't know he did. Ernest Battles Apartheid is a good one. Ernest Goes to Africa, because we gotta

tie it back to AIDS. And then I also brought, really? They don't have? It's not a problem there? Thanks, white people. And then I also brought a copy of a video. I think it's called Diabetes, A Positive Approach. I think we're sensing a theme here tonight.

Well, it's a subject that's near and dear to my heart. I assume. I haven't been to a doctor, but I guess so. I should probably watch it. Gene Smart tells you how to not eat donuts. I didn't watch it. It was a dollar. Gary Owens is on here, and of course he's dead,

so that'll add an extra level of fun for you to watch him tell you how to take care of yourself. Sure. Yeah. It's such a morbid show. It says at one point it tells you something about how to live love and financial success or something i was like three c-list celebrities who are all dead do you save like financial success i guess you save money because you only need to buy half as many socks but like the host of the thing is uh looks like he's wearing bicycle riding shorts and a whole athletic outfit,

but he's enjoying iced tea while eating a banana under an umbrella on the beach next to his friend who's on a bike wearing a helmet. So, yeah, that's a really positive approach to diabetes. Live as if you don't have it and make a video in which you brag about not having it. Can I go back to something Chris just said? He said that you would only have to buy one sock. Because you get your foot cut off if your diabetes gets bad?

I would argue I would still wear the sock on the stump. Because my stump would get cold as well as my foot. I don't know if a sock will fit a stump. You should see some of the socks they make these days. Welcome to Doug Loves Socks. That felt like you were filling, but I was here ready to continue. If I could get somebody to bring a mock-a-tonic to me on the stage,

and maybe a little shot of Jason's. Oh, does that happen here at Brazos Hall? That would be awesome. if I could get somebody to bring a mockatonic to me on the stage and maybe a little shot of Jason oh does that happen here at Brazos Hall that'd be awesome if you just ask for a drink does it show up or does everybody stand around going what do you think he's doing there's literally like nine bartenders staring me in the face like eat a dick

you cannot tip me from the stage I ain't bringing you shit or one sock and a Christmas stocking. I don't know. He's holding on to that. You're waiting. No, I'm still thinking.

John Doerr is the star of a movie I saw today called Knock Knock. It's Tig Notaro. He plays the title character. Yeah. And it's a terrific movie about you and Tignitaro. She just called you up and said, will you go perform in people's homes with me? She did this campaign on social media

where she just said, I'll come to any place you want and perform a show. And then people submitted requests. And you went on that tour with her. I did. And made a movie of it, and it's a very, very entertaining movie, watching you guys perform in living rooms

and on the back of a truck and stuff. Thank you, yeah. It was fun. It was great. I love TIG, so that makes it easy. But what they leave out is all the nightmare moments. Like, we, Jenny and this movie... It looks like it's like

an absolute pleasure trip the entire time. Like, you guys had a blast. Yeah. Nothing went wrong. Most of the time, it was. But then, you know, there's a moment

where we're performing on a farm, doing stand-up during the daytime on a farm in the middle of Mississippi. And normally in a comedy club, I don't have to worry about, like, people saying, the dog does shit. And like, seriously, and children running around.

And I actually heard the words, there's fire in that propane. You don't hear that in comedy clubs. But so it was a bit of a nightmare, but they cut all that out. So yeah, the movie itself, like a movie, like they would. Cut their shit out and just leave the good stuff. Like pain and gain. Did they cut out all the times you guys went to the bathroom? Or did they leave that in? They left all of that in. I want to see this movie.

Robert Durst was arrested today. Did you hear that? La la la la la. I haven't seen any of it, so you can't talk about it. Don't spoil the actual movie. I want to watch the jinx from the beginning, and so I'm very angry at everyone for spoiling the ending. I didn't say a word. Of that true life story that's in the news today.

Yeah, you'll never find out. It's crazy. Let's say this. Knowing the outcome, or knowing where they're at at this point in the story, would it still be fun for me to go watch from the beginning is it that good? it has nothing necessarily to do with the doc like you

would have I guess they've arrested him but he'll still plead not guilty but I don't think it has anything to do with the documentary it's attached to it it's just amazing timing that the day after this thing had its season finale they actually arrest the man. The police were so captivated, they said, let's wait until this is over, then we'll go get him.

If he goes in, can Adnan come out? Is that how it works? You know he did that shit. Stop clapping. I don't know. How are we doing on time, you guys? We doing all right? I don't know. Maybe a beer? A beer? If that's too hard? I don't know. How are we doing on time, you guys? I don't know. Maybe a beer?

A beer, if that's too hot. Like, I don't know. Whatever. Oh, yeah, I think they don't have mixed drinks here. This guy's going to get him a beer. Oh, fucking do what he hates. He's going to get me a beer. That's awesome.

Don't sip from it, please. You can't sit around in a Pabst Blue Ribbon shirt if you're not ready to get somebody a fucking beer. Oh, the bar's closed, I guess? That's what it is. That makes sense. Sorry, folks, I appreciate it. The bar is closed. You did the best you could. Because we don't want a bunch of bar noise on this podcast.

You couldn't get a beer? No. Oh, don't give your beer here. Don't give mine. Have my beer. Oh, fucking, there we go. That's a fresh one. I'll drink that too. Give mine back. Awesome, thank you.

Bring all of your beers to Chris. Yeah. He wants all of your beers. Well, here's hoping there's no roofies in it. There isn't? Or there is? Did Bill Cosby just bring me a drink? One of us had to say it, you guys.

Yeah. Legally, one of us had to say it. Yeah. It's a little too soon, man. It's a little too soon since the last time Bill Cosby bought you a drink. About 36 years, you sure? I think it started in the 60s. I feel like it's not soon enough.

It's still too soon. He actually started out as a waiter, and I think waiter to rapist is a natural transition. Waiter to rapist, yeah. This is a service industry to have. Yeah, pretending to care about someone. I used to do the job. Serve. Not a lot of people call raping a job either, so I didn't really have to qualify.

Maybe some do. It's more of a calling. I think we should get back to AIDS at this point. A little lighter. Okay, let's lighten it up. Philadelphia 2, back to aids at this point a little lighter okay let's lighten it up philadelphia two back to aids with ronnie dangerfield back to aids legal aids uh chris cubis have you been to the cinema lately like what was the last movie you saw uh i saw a skateboarding documentary called all this mayhem i think it's called.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. About these two like Australian brothers skateboarders that then go off the deep end and fucking do a bunch of cocaine like skateboarders do.

But it's pretty good. You should watch this on Netflix. Starts off fun, but gets kind of... And then I saw Whiplash. No, I said that wrong.

12 Years a Slave. I mix those titles up sometimes. Someone did some prep. Yeah. I was sitting on that one. I was going to tweet that earlier. I was like, no, I'll save it. Save that shit.

John Doerr, what was the last movie you saw? I saw Whiplash. I mean, 12 Years a Slave. I saw Knock Knock. It's Tig Notaro. What did I see? I saw... What's that?

You saw Porno. Did you see Porno? I'd be surprised if this lady doesn't figure out a way to ruin this show. Are you yelling out a movie that I saw? Mom, I told you to wait in the car. Sorry, doctor. He even left a bowl of water and cracked a window. Uncool.

Are you yelling out a genre of film that you hope I have seen recently? No, but you've been in. Cool? Cool. See what I mean? Like, if this was a comedy club, I'd circle the wagons

to get her thrown out right now. Yeah. But considering none of us could even get a drink on stage, I bet you... Yeah. I bet you... Or get in the building.

Nobody's... Yeah. Just took John and I 15 minutes and eight people to get in. It was a struggle to get in. There's nothing better than when someone

thinks they've dropped something funny and they say boom and no one laughs because it's not funny. She was like, oh, you've been in boom silence. I think that's hilarious when that happens. She threw in a fool because that's you know, then you're dumb because you just said you're a fool. So of course you're stupid.

She got me. Yeah. Anyway, last movie I saw was Pump Fiction. You played right to her. She didn't respond immediately. She responded in drunk time. I should have said friction. See, there she goes. When you have too much alcohol, you don't understand when someone else gets to talk.

Also, I awoke the sleeping monster there, didn't I? I should have let it be, but I went back to it, and that's a problem I have, and I'm very sorry. Now, Doug, do you really bring wagons to your comedy shows? Yeah. Volvo wagons to your comedy shows? Yeah. The wagons? I circle them. I circle them.

Just fun. Last movie I saw, is that what you're asking? I can't remember the exact last, but I did see Imitation Game. I will only accept your exact last movie. DC Cab. Then I don't know. Yeah, when was it yesterday i got i i found out i had screeners in my uh po box from like months ago so uh so you're catching up on all the oscar bait i am yeah birdman which i did enjoy a lot of a lot of people did not like that film

you know what a fun thing to do is is to to watch Birdman, but play the soundtrack from Whiplash. Yeah. And it doesn't change a thing. It's the same thing. But I think Imitation Game was the last I saw. That's a great movie. I really liked it. I saw it post, I should say, not as much a great movie, but that story was very interesting to me.

The story's amazing. I wasn't a huge fan of the film, but yeah, it was a great story. It's interesting they left the whole part about leaving his wife for his nurse. Wait, what movie are we talking about? I have no idea. Imitation Game? Oh, I thought I was talking about the same movie. I thought we were talking about Chinatown.

You thought Imitation Game was Theory of Everything? Theory of Everything. Yeah, I have a kid. Pretty similar titles. They could swap titles. It would make sense. Right? We're trying to stop the Nazis. We're working on the Theory of Everything. Scott Weiber. Oh, Nick, what was the last movie you saw?

Focus? I would really appreciate it if you would. That's a Will Smith movie, right? Really? You're the one that saw it. Yeah, he's the one that saw it as well. Just him. I went for like a day movie solo. Did you like he?

Of course, yeah. What do you mean of course? He nails it every time. He's the fucking best. After Earth? After Earth? I don every time. He's the fucking best. Yeah. After Earth? After Earth? I don't know.

I walked out three quarters. It wasn't about the movie. It was just about getting away from my wife and child. Oh, yeah! Look at this! Brazzo's Hall delivers! Pornos! Pornos time! Thank you.

We got a big glorious bucket of nice cold beers on ice that only the people on stage get to have. There's nothing like rubbing it in the audience. This is how revolutions happen, Doug. I feel like I should at least give that dude his beer. The guy who brought me one. Pay it forward! We'll allow it.

Come on up, Mr. Cosby. You're not legally required to give him that. Yeah, but I'm a fucking gentleman. No one cares. Jesus. Mom, get back in the car, bitch. Yeah, but I thought Will Smith was the worst in one year. Get back to Will. I was going to say Will he played it very real

he's really good he's a great actor do you like Tom Cruise? yeah they're applauding her being thrown out by the way wow you know Austin Texas is my favorite place,

and so I was a little disappointed in Brazos Hall, but they've turned that around. 100%. Yeah, and this place is great. Doug, how do you get heckled in a dry bar? She got fucked up on all those free drinks around town and came in here to see, I don't know what she... I had like three monster...

Come on, let me laugh at you guys. I don't know if she even knew it was going to be a comedy show, but once it started, she was going to be a participant. I'm still not sure she's aware it's a comedy show. Yeah, and I'm not aware that the listeners heard a word she said, because that's how that works sometimes. It just sounds like we're all crazy up here, railing against some silent, made-up woman

and her stupid, drunken comments. I kind of miss her. I miss her, too. I totally miss her. There was something about her, yeah. I feel like she was turning a corner. She was about to circle the wagons she was turning a corner. She was about to circle the wagons

and become a better person. And we kicked her out before we let her reform herself. She might have been going somewhere with that shtick, Doug. You don't know. This might have been her first of 12 steps. And we just totally obliterated it. She was here to

apologize to all of us for how drunk she got before this show. And the only word she knows is porno. I'm porno with urine in it. I accept your apology. I want to put a black dick in your beard face. That's not on me, right? I don't have to.

All right. General statement. I'm just thinking that's the direction she was headed before Brazos Hall cleverly and quickly threw her out. So they're my heroes. And they brought us all this beer. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah. Brazo, Brazo.

You good, Scott? Do you need a beer? No, I don't drink, sir. That's right. They know what that means. Yeah. You only drink marijuana. I only... I mean, marijuana. I only, yeah. I mean, all right, really, seriously, show of hands or clap,

how many people smoke so much weed they just cut alcohol out of their life because they want to live 10 years longer? That sentence was weird. I'm a writer, bitch. I think, yeah, I think that those are two different ideas that one less vice one less vice that's all i'm you know yeah yeah that you get the 10 years by stop drinking but then you get 10 really high years by smoking the whole time obviously i'll get hit by a bus tonight so the point is all moot we're all good it's You know, for you, for me, for everybody that I know

that smokes a ton of weed, I just spend all day hoping that we don't die in an embarrassing manner. Don't die in a way that makes the other potheads look bad. If I get hit by a fucking bus at South By that has train wreck written on the side of it, I will be ridiculed mercilessly. And marijuana will be the scapegoat for 20 years, so watch your ass, Doug. Yeah, I gotta be ridiculed mercilessly. And marijuana will be the scapegoat for 20 years, so watch your ass, Doug.

Yeah, I gotta be safe. I'm representing safe marijuana use. Did you see a movie today, Scott? Oh, I've seen about a dozen films so far at South by Southwest. I know, but what was the one that's the most recent? You just saw it. I did see Furious 7 last night. How was it? It is... most recent. You just saw it. I did see Furious 7 last night. How was it?

It is... All right. I don't even like the first four movies. Oh, shit. I kind of like the fifth one. This one is fucking great. I'm not kidding. It is fucking...

You know how a lot of action movies, they stop for 28 minutes so you can fill in the time between the expensive actions? Furious seven takes like four minutes and then just cuts into it it's pretty relentless they don't exactly anytime they're discussing their next plan it's while they're also flying off a cliff oh you gotta love a movie where all the exposition is done while they're like in hang gliders like land there so we can find the drug dealer and the code to the girl and the hacker. It's really a lot of fun and I think you should go out and support independent film. April 3rd.

Do your part, America. That's the message, yes. The last one only made like 400 million dollars. I mean, it's not cool. Yeah, it's an underdog and I wish it luck. I should have let it go with the big laugh. It opens like... How's Brandon Lee? No.

Who died? Oh, two. They gotta put it like a... Did they CGI? Like, how do they... They asked us not to speak on that. But I will say that they handle it nicely. Yes, it's handled with class.

Is it puppetry? Do they just weekends at Bernie's and through the rest of the movie? It would be terrible if they did it like Poochie, where they just lifted the frame up and pulled him out of the movie. No, they handle the Paul Walker thing really classy, but they did ask us before the movie to not. I'll just say it. He suddenly at one point in the movie played by a different actor,

but Paul Giamatti. Kelsey Grammer. Paul Giamatti. God damn it. All right, you guys. We're running late. We're running hot. I want to throw some love

real quick to the Southpike programmers this year because I've seen a lot of features and... They're really all good, right? I am good programming this year. I really believe that. It's true.

Well done. A lot of good movies that you can just get drunk and yell shit at. Porno, porno, porno. Porno! Scott, come home! Freaking me out, man. I saw a really weird thing today where I saw guys

The floor is closed! I guess you don't want to hear about automatic rifles on the street. Oh, you said weird. This is Texas. That's not that fucking... It's scary. That's not that word. What happened?

Open carry, right? Yeah, I just got really scared. You should! It's fucking scary! I have never not been scared by white people with assault rifles. It's fucking terrifying. You know never not been scared by white people with assault rifles. It's fucking terrifying. You know what's scarier than open carry? Drew carry. Comedy jokes.

That was rough. I would have gone with Jim Carrey. He's scary. He thinks that autistic children are all. Where are you going with this, man? I don't know what he thinks now. Does he think that or does he just... He's not with Jenny McCarthy.

When he was with Jenny, he used to say that. I don't think he says it anymore. He's a Canadian. Let's leave him alone. What were you going to say? You saw a rifle on the street and you were terrified? Yeah, but like 30 Black Panthers with rifles. Oh, shit yeah that's awesome and then and then i saw the i didn't get the email the revolution started nobody

you know what somehow that's honestly what i thought was happening and there was the idea of 30 black men with rifles is less scary than one white guy with rifles i just realized that no one lets nick talk. I'm sorry. Go ahead, Socks. Please. Well, there was a cop on the other end of it. I was like, hey, is this like a thing with South by Southwest? Or is this some sort of cool new app?

And he was like, no, no, those are people that are going to hurt somebody. And they hate us, and they have guns. And I was like, oh, cool. I'm just going to go walk over to the festival side. Because I was on the other side of the bridge. I was like, oh, yeah, it's scary over here. Yeah, I saw them earlier today. I saw three of them.

They were getting out of their cars. I guess it was just starting. And I really just assumed Public Enemy was playing on the side of the street. There was a rap concert happening, like, loud. You could hear a mile around as they walked by me. And it was just like, no, it's not right. I pulled up on my Instagram and asked if I could buy some weed and they were not happy.

They chased me away. Now it's the part of the show where I say Let the games begin! Oh no! Oh no! Come out of the shadows with your name tags, Austin, Texas, and visitors from all parts of the world.

We got some name tags for you guys to choose from. And gentlemen, I need you to pick who you'd like to play for. Just go physically grab a name tag from somebody. And while they do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. And we're back! Who are you playing for, Chris? I'm playing for Guardians of the Gal Lizzie.

Spoke to her earlier. Very good name tag. You were Star-Lord, and then Groot, and all kinds of awesome shit. Yeah, for sure. Did you put a... She's got a shithead underneath and then Groot and all kinds of awesome shit. So, yeah, for sure. Did you put a... You didn't. She's got a shithead underneath under one of the flaps.

Yeah, good for you, Lizzie. Good job. Is it a good shithead, Chris? No, not really. Okay. Gives you more incentive to win today, so we won't have to hear it. What about you, John Doerr?

Who are you playing for? I kind of feel weird that i picked this one now um only because well actually i do but i do appreciate because it's my style because i feel like this was so last minute it says uh supposed it's an ad probably ripped out of a uh a south by book and it's it's for the last man on the moon, and they crossed out S-T, and now it says the laziest man on the moon. It works on two levels, because it is so amazingly lazy. Precisely, yeah. Good call, man.

But then what's the name of the person whose name tag it is? I need to do one more thing, though. It says, it's supposed to say one man's part in mankind's greatest adventure. He crossed out a letter, and now it says One Man's Fart in Mankind's Greatest Adventure. We still don't really have a name on that name tag, though, do we? Yeah, we do. I'm not supposed to read

the back, though, am I? No, that's a shithead. Okay, what's the name? Randy. Randy. Is that on there anywhere, Randy? No, it's not. Do you know what the word name tag? Or words, I guess. Because Spellcheck won't accept name tag one word.

Is he disqualified? No, he's fine. He's just Randy. Who are you playing for, Nick? There's no name on this one either. Oh, you've never heard of someone called Star Wars Star Wars Jason Aaron John

on sale January Marvel and it's episode JJ a new dope is what he added to it and I just was kind of lazy and just grabbed the closest one it's a pretty cool looking name I like it I like anything Star Wars themed.

Scott? I am playing for... Use your microphone voice. I'm playing for this lovely picture frame full of candy, which I want to eat, from this lady. What is your name? I'm sorry. Roxanne. Roxanne, of course. Yeah, her name's Roxanne because it says Roxanne on it, you dummy.

Sure, I didn't put it together, but it is the name of the film. You thought her name might be Candy. Yeah, good point. And this is a 1987 adaptation of Cyrano de Bergerac, which if you have not seen, I highly recommend. It's a good movie.

It is a very sweet, funny, well-written film. And Steve Martin is my all-time favorite celebrity ever born. I love him to the ends of the world. Interesting. Pink Panther 2? Horrible film, but it will take a lot of Pink Panther 2s for me to not love Steve fucking Martin. How about that?

It took two of them for me to be pretty unhappy with him. After that, he went on a banjo tour. That's how he knew. What did he know? After that, he went on a banjo tour. That's how he... He knew. He knew. What did he know? You can't idolize someone next thing you know they're going to be in a banjo tour.

I love the band, too. I do. I loved him. I loved him. Someone had to make those movies. Why not? Yeah, they were going to make them. Exactly.

I would rather see people make them than have to. Larry the Cable Guy. I don't think they would have made them with just anybody. I think that was... make a thing than have to. Larry the Cable I don't think they would have made him with just anybody. I think that was they had to have a name. It's not Steve Martin's fault that Hollywood has no use for older actors and actresses.

He was willing to desecrate the work done by the great Peter Sellers. Now let's be fair. A lot of those Pink Panther movies are pretty shitty as well. Let's be honest. You were not desecrating an excellent film Pink Panther 2 what is that even a remake of

there was never a Pink Panther 2 the first time around well yeah it was called Shot in the Dark but was the part second part with Steve Martin a remake of that no it's a sequel to a remake of an adaptation of a comic and we'll be back with more of the Pink Panther debate we need to take a break right now, but when

we return, we will get to the bottom of it. If this were Fantastic Fest, there'd be boxing. Me and Doug boxing would last about four seconds and we'd just leave and everyone would be like, yeah. No boxing. You know what? We should tell them, don't tell Fantastic Fest this, you guys. We should tell them that you

and I are going to box and lead up to it, jump around, and like we're really going to do it. And then fucking just pull out a couple of pipes and sit down in the middle of the ring and just fucking get high. And the punchline is box? We thought you said bongs. And then we do this.

I thought you meant hot box. Also, Roxanne has one of the most brilliant lines of dialogue, which is earn more sessions by sleeving, and you won't know what it means until you see the film. Does your dog bite? I thought you said your dog did not bite. That's not my dog.

That's not from Roxanne. Yes, it is. Peter Sellers did Roxanne. He did the remake. That's why Steve Martin decided to ruin one of his films. The first game we're going to play is something I like to call

How Much Did This Shit Make? Yeah. It's the 30th anniversary of arguably a classic, one of the greatest movies of all time called Breakfast Club, The Breakfast Club. Did anybody go see it today? They showed it today over at the Paramount, which is interesting because it was a universal release. Damn. I love that movie, but when it comes to the lesser work of John Hughes, some might argue that Baby's Day Out was his worst film.

Rest in peace. He only wrote that. I know it's his. To be fair to the deceased, he only wrote that. Who directed that one? That's the worst part of that film. I don't know. I want to be like one of those Brian LeVant.

I thought he directed that one, but maybe he didn't. If only I had a computer in my pocket that could tell me anything I want to know. Then you'd be cheating at all these games, so keep it to yourself. That's a good point. And in your pocket. But it was a crazy-ass movie. A lot of people didn't see it, but a baby lights a lighter to a man's genitals. A man

named Joe Mantegna, who deserves better as an artist and as a human being. So how much? We'll start with, Chris will be our first bidder. Wait, are we talking about Breakfast Club or Baby's Day Out? Baby's Day Out. Okay.

Yeah, because that's the shittiest of the John Hughes movies. Gotcha. And still a treat in parts. Especially when a man gets his genitals lit on fire by a baby. I've downloaded videos like that, but you've got to get them on a dark net. You've got to go to Silk Road for that shit. How much did Baby Stay Out, with multiple scenes of a baby crawling across a busy highway,

it's fucking horrifying, how much money did that movie make in its domestic tally, according to boxofficemojo.com? We'll start with Chris, and then we'll go down the line. $12 million. Price is right style. Close this without going over. Chris, you say $12 million?

I do. Okay. Okay. $12 million and $1. Boo! I hate when people do that. Wow, that is some shitty... I'm going to kick my television in and turn off The Price is Right forever.

Quite a maneuver you pulled there. I'd say $12 million and $2. No, but they shouldn't be allowed to do that. There should be a cushion that you're not allowed to bet within $25 because then that one woman from Poughkeepsie will never, ever win. Dude, $12 million and $25. Fine. Can I change mine?

Everyone seems upset with it. What do you want to change it to? $12 million million and 25. Fine. Can I change my name? Everyone seems upset with it. What do you want to change it to? 12 million and 2. No. You can't do that. Okay, then I'll stop with 12 million. Which was what I was going to guess before you even guessed anyway, so. Nick. What year was the movie made? Can we know that?

Can I get the origin? I can't know it? I mean, I don't have it at my disposal i don't really care what year it was um i'm gonna say 18 million dollars it might help you though if you knew what year it was yeah i think that would have been a big help yeah i don't know i don't know how these other people are bidding without that information. Some of us know that information. Scott. All right. We got 12.1, 12.9, and 18. All right.

Well, it's a terrible movie, but in its defense, it is more or less a live-action adaptation of that classic cartoon we've all seen where the baby ignorantly climbs across the girders in the construction. But it really is a wrong-headed, badly made film. I'll say it made $35 million. It's Mr. Magoo with a baby instead of a black cat. It's $35 million. It made a decent amount of money

and Fox just threw it onto a whole shitload of screens, so parents will take their kids to see anything. Alright, so Scott Weinberg, movie expert, says $35 million. We're all movie experts, Doug. Okay. I just get paid for it. Bam. I'm sad to say that our winner in this

particular game... Chris, you want to have another beer? What are you doing? Oh, I was just putting that down. I didn't think the audience needed to know at all. Now he's sitting back down. The listeners need to know that all. Now we're sitting back down. The listeners need to know that you suddenly stopped drinking. Taking this very seriously.

But unfortunately, John Doerr is our winner with the 12.1. Randy! What did it actually make? Because the actual amount was $16.8 million. Oh. That was so close. Oh, what a loser all I had to do was guess one more than you

hey Randy we're gonna do this alright so John gets to go first in this next game I'm lucky that I'm not booted just for being the most off of the number no but you said it with confidence he thought it made more money than that obviously because that was my answer

it's okay Scott it wasn't as good as my answer it was a good answer all you did was take his number and add one though yeah I used logic next question it's interesting like when you watch Price is Right good answer. All you did was take his number and add one, though. Yeah, I used logic. Next question. It's interesting, like, when you watch Price is Right, they don't discuss the games

at such length after they play them. They go ahead and move on to the next game. But that's the Price is Right. We all want to see it. Yeah, yeah. Is that wheel properly calibrated? This is peeling back the curtain to see how Plinko is really played. By the way, I did like your answer.

Yeah. 35? Million. Dollars. Everyone thought you were going to be right. John, you get to go first in this next game. It's something that I call build a title. Do you know how that works?

No, I don't think I do know how build a title works. All right, Chris gets to go first in this game. Son of a bitch. I can do it if he wants to. No, I know. Like, you'll... Okay. No, you can go... Oh, I see.

You can go first. We take a title of a movie, and then we add other titles to it using the beginning or end of the title. It's a sound-alike game, basically. Maybe Chris should go first. You'll get this, I think. Okay. Since we're in Austin, Texas,

a motion picture that was filmed a lot here and production was based here, called Boyhood, took the world by storm, and one person here is still excited about it. This whole town is fucking sick of hearing about boyhood. But we're going to build a title, starting with the title Boyhood.

So here's what you need to do, John Doerr. Name a movie that ends with the word boy. Yeah. Or begins... With the word hood. Now you're just putting words in my mouth. Yeah, that begins. With the word hood. Now you're just putting words in my mouth. Yeah, that's how it works. God, we're finishing each other's

sentences. Uh, Hellboy Hood. Did I do it? You've done it. Thank you. You figured it out and succeeded. I had a great teacher. Where many a man and woman have not in the past. This is a tough game to grasp and you're a genius.

Porno. All right. All right, so we've got Hellboy Hood. Chris Cubis. This is going to be. Drag Me to Hellboy Hood. Drag Me to Hell had its debut here at the South by Southwest Film Festival at the Paramount Theater, I believe.

It's what people have told me. I wasn't there. Scott Weinberg. You have to movie that ends in drag or begins with hood. Or boyhood, if there's a movie called Boyhood of something or other.

I have to movie that ends in drag or starts in hood. Mm-hmm. You can do it. Starts with hood or ends in drag. What did I say? Ends in drag. Or starts with hood. That's what I said the first time.

Don't confuse me. Ends in drag. It did, that's right. Don't confuse me. Oh, I got confused. Ensign drag. It couldn't be that hard, could it? Apparently it is. Ensign flag starts with foot. You can do it. I don't know, I have to pass.

All right, you're out. Not for good, just for now. How humiliating. Nick, soon do you have one? Yeah. I didn't nail one with the movie expert. I feel a little better now. Soon came in with fucking Drag Hood,

which is a movie, Drag Hood. And it's got the rights to it. Yeah. All right, so you're out. Yeah. I'm still thinking. John? Where are we at right now?

It's hands and drag. Begins with hood. It's drag me to hell boy hood. Drag me the hell boy hoodlum. Hoodlum. I'll take it. That's a good one. Thank you.

Wow. That does make me feel nice. Thank you. That does make me feel nice. I also would have accepted winked. Yeah, that's what I was thinking on that. Lum. All right, so Chris, can you think of one that begins with lum?

Lum or ends with drag. And we drop thes, yeah? Yeah. That's not going to happen. No thes allowed. Lum. No. No.

Lumberjack. I guarantee you there's a movie about Lumberjack. I've never seen it, but I promise you it exists. Who stars in Lumberjack. I guarantee you there's a movie about Lumberjack. I've never seen it, but I promise you it exists. Who stars in Lumberjack? Paul Hogan. Okay, I know that's absolutely not true. Let's go back to John, because the other two fellas are out. So we're counting Lumberjack?

No, he's out. Oh, so it's back to me with Lum or Drag. Yeah, ends in Drag. Tough spot. Yeah. I should have said Hoodwink, but I didn't. I said Hoodlum, and now I'm stuck with that. Oh, you think Winked would be better than Lum?

I think so. Nope. Yeah, I don't think so either okay so starts uh ends in drag or begins with lum i'm gonna say um too bad there wasn't a movie about vince lombardi just called lum bardi yeah well i mean what happens if I pass? I'm the last one in, or does Chris win? I think who was the last person to add to the title? You were.

Yeah, so you're still the winner no matter what. Okay, well, then I pass. No, he's the only one left. He already won. Yeah, he won. What the fuck are we doing? We're just having fun. Just if he could add one more to it.

We're trying to think of words that start with lumber and then drag. It's more impressive. Does anyone in the audience, am I missing? Drag net. Oh, no. You can't say that. I was going to say drag. Yeah, net drag would work.

Lumberjack is a movie from the 40s. Sure, of course. Okay, so he's still in. He's still in Lumberjack, right? Oh, is that how you want to play it? Jack Frost. Let's go. Now you're fucked again, Chris.

Wait a minute. No, you're going to tell me there's not a vampire movie called Frostbite? I promise you there is. I'm not enjoying the way you play. I'm not enjoying that your friend over here is looking up the titles. Okay, but would he not know that, man? John Doerr is our winner. John Doerr is our winner. John Doerr is our winner.

Randy! Randy! Let's stop it. My problem was I was trying to think of hood as a singular word, and I didn't put it together. I could have winked, but it worked, too. It's a tough one.

It's not easy. I couldn't think of anything for Lum. No one else could apparently, but people will tweet at us some for weeks to come. And we'll be happy to hear about it. You mean for weeks too, Lum. So that means that John Doerr starts us off again. This time we'll go to Nick Thune after John Doerr, and we're going to play the Leonard Maltin game.

Chris Cubis is quite good at this, so it's good for all you guys that he's fourth. I feel like Sam Levine was really mad at me in that Tournament of Champions episode. Because I was boxing him out. You got to play strategically when you play against Sam. Right, but he still won though, didn't he? Yeah, for sure, but he still got mad.

But he forgets about it all in the end if he wins. Those shoes are shifty like that, man. You got to be careful. Dude, this is... I know we're in Texas, but you got to knock that shit off. Did you say you have to knock that shit over? No, I said off. I'd like that if you did.

I'm stealing it. Knock that over. I'm porno. So John gets to pick the first category, and then we will go to Nick, who's dispensing some rubs. What? Hello?

I'm just checking something here. Are you texting? What are you doing there? I don't know if you noticed this when you've been on the show a couple of times. On the shore I have, yeah. No, when you've been on the show a couple of times, you surely noticed that when we play the Leonard Maltin game,

I'm looking at my phone the entire time because I use the Leonard Maltin app. I know, but it seemed to be going on, so I wasn't sure if you were doing something else. I'm sorry, by the way. I was getting ready to go, but I was also tweeting a lady about some smoking of marijuana. Was it the lady you threw out? And possibly... If you must know, right now I'm trying to find some suitable porno

that she would enjoy. No, I'm just trying to find the opening category to start us off. So what happens if you call this category and you have no Wi-Fi? This app, this Leonard Moulton app, may be a dead app, but everything's already loaded in.

So even if Wi-Fi's not working, I can still look stuff up. That's so great. It's so great. It is, though. John gets to pick a category between, at Benjamin Salas suggested,

Wahlberg versus Wahlberg and that's Mark Wahlberg movies that came out in the same year of another Mark Wahlberg movie. Or Nick underscore knack underscore no

N-O-E suggested that's what she said and that of course is movies that have female narration. no, N-O-E, suggested that's what she said. And that, of course, is movies that have female narration. Where you hear a woman's voice on the soundtrack. Or Carly Marie B

suggested Fast Batch Cumberbender. And that's movies with Benedict Cumberbatch or Michael Fassbender. But not both. I mean, I know I'm not going to win this category anyway, so which one? Maybe both of them were.

Yeah? I'll do the last one. Maybe both of them were. Cumberbatch or Fassbender. Okay. Let's do that one. Would you like a Cumberbatch-Fassbender let's do that one would you like a Cumberbatch Fassbender movie from 2007 or 2011

oh man I think we oh shit let's do 2011 okay two and a half stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie from 2011 he says this movie is about a ne'er-do-well farmer. And he also says that it's expertly made.

But the movie also leaves no room for nuance. And he lists... Couldn't have chosen female narrators, right? Eleven names. And one of those names may or may not be the chosen female narrators, right? Eleven. Eleven names. And one of those names may or may not be Cumberbatch or Fastbender. Well, it's got to be one of them, right? Are those categories a bunch of shit?

They could be billed low enough to not rank in Leonard's billing. A lot of new ones to this. All right. What do you think, John? How many names can you get it in? Alright, I can get it in I can get it in I can get it in eight.

He says eight names. Laughing. I have no idea what this is. Talking too much. Eight. Nick comes in. Probably seven. He says seven, Scott. No problem. Oh good he says seven scott no problem thank god oh he says no problem on seven you got a poker player here i'll go i'll go with five five names chris cubis you gotta say name it because i don't fucking all right thank god scott's gotta name

it if scott can't name it after i give him these five names, then Chris will have a point. And if Scott names it, he'll have a point. And you're on your way to the first person with two points. Or for two points. You just can't be against two points. We'll be our winner. Your five names are... Names are Liam Cunningham, Eddie Marzan, Toby Kebbell, Celine Buckins, and Benedict Cumberbatch. So that's where he's at.

2011, it's about a former. He's billed in like seventh position out of 12. 2011, it's about a farmer. He's billed in like seventh position out of 12. 2011, it's about a farmer. It stars Ben. Near do well, farmer. Aren't they all, though, Doug, deep down? Fucking farmers. That's how I feel about babies.

Every baby's up to something. They just can't act it out. 2011, I feel I know this, up to something. They just can't act it out. 2011. I feel I know this, and that will make it even worse when I don't get it, but can you give me the clues one more time? I won't be that asshole who makes people wait 30 seconds

for a question. Too late! Expertly made. Expertly made, okay. Yeah, leaving no room for nuance. Well, that doesn't sound expertly made. Okay. Yeah. Leaving no room for nuance. Well, that doesn't sound expertly made. No do well farmer.

You know the clues are supposed to not help. I know. Film criticism is all I'm saying. What do you think? Any idea? Expertly made. Eddie Marzan is one that I thought would would help me but i'm gonna guess no i'm not even i'm not even gonna throw a name out no guess 2011 two and a half stars but it's expertly made

the fuck you're gonna it's all gonna fall into place as soon as you hear the title. All right. It's Topsy Turvy. That is incorrect. The motion picture. John wants to guess. I think I got it. Just for fun.

Is it possibly Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy? No. No? Okay. No, it isn't. So Chris Cubas gets a point, everybody. The motion picture is called War Horse. Yeah, War Horse.

I make it a rule. Wait, that horse was a farmer? I'm confused. Yep, it's about a farmer horse who's a ne'er-do-well. He just wants to go fight in wars. He doesn't want to farm. Neither expertly made nor any good. I don't know. Oh them. Neither expertly made, nor any good.

I don't know. Oh, no room for nuance? That's pretty accurate. Yeah. I've never seen it. It's the only Spielberg movie I've never seen. You should get on that. Mm-mm. I make it a general rule to forget all films about horses

immediately after I watch them. Alright, so we're going to start with Nick and then move to John, and Nick gets to pick a category. I'm just embarrassed right now because I realized I said Tinker Taylor and it has nothing to do with farming whatsoever. I said Topsy Turvy, which is like...

I might as well have said Pinocchio. A lot of spy movies start out with a farmer. That Gary Oldman backstory. Signs up to be a spy. None of you guys are going to get ridiculed by 50 other film critics when you get out of this show. They're going to be like, War Horse fucker

couldn't get War Horse? They're going to kill me. No, no. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. War Horse is super forgettable. There was barely anyone in the audience who knew the answer, but there were some people. Film critics are little bitches, man, I'm telling you.

You're speaking of yourself now. Show some self-esteem. He's the biggest of all the bitches. Who gets the big category? Nick. Yeah. At Austin, New York,, Doug Day Afternoon. And that's movies that have daytime smoking in them. Weed smoking, I mean. Yeah. Dim and Tomstee suggested, this is a great one, Martin Scorsese. Martin Scorsese Martin Scorsese

and that's Martin Scorsese movies that didn't get an R rating so Martin Scorsese without an R is Martin Scorsese

the R is out of his name yeah isn't that fun and then K. Sarah Sarah, K. Sarah Sarah, suggested One Fine Day, which is the films of Rafe or Joseph Fiennes. I'm going to go with the first one, the Doug Day Afternoon.

All right. This movie's got daytime smoking in it. Two and a half stars from Leonard. The year is 2008. He says this movie he says it's audacious and he also says

that some silverware gets dropped. In a club that isn't even serving food, why would that noise happen? He also says it's uneven. And he lists eight, nine, 10, 11 names.

How many names can you get in, Nick? 2008? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'll do it in 8 names. Strong opening bit. John Doerr. Back to me.

Fuck, I think I might know 2008 so you could be zero you know how to do negative names I can't risk it though I'll do six names when you come to Austin you gotta try the brisket what'd you say?

did you say you can't brisket? I did say that and you said what six?'m sure i said that um i cannot risk it um i will say six i can name it in six i'll have a brisket for six chris i'm gonna say name that movie chris says name it with six names all right interesting 2008 two and a half stars from Leonard. Daytime Smoking. He says about this movie

that it's audacious and he said another thing. What was it? Uneven? Audacious as film critics speak for wacky. That's what that means. Sure. What word do they mean to use when they say uneven? Wacky. That's what that means. Sure. Keep helping.

What word do they mean to use when they say uneven? Half good, half shit. Okay. It's easier to just say uneven. Five names you get? Six. Okay. Okay.

I feel all right about this. Yeah. Did you say to name it? Here's your six names. Yeah, you said name it names you're a smart player Chris is going to take this whole thing down if John Dora can't pull this out and name this movie after six names

Randy we could be dead in the water my friend alright James Remar Nora Dunn Ed Begley Jr what? Nora Dunn, Ed Begley Jr., Amber Hurd, Craig Robinson, Oh, yeah, keep going.

Okay, six names. No, that's five so far. I'm giving you the six ones. Oh, sorry, I thought you said that was six names. Sorry. You know what? I'm counting A. Bagley Jr. as three names. No, your final and six

name out of 12 is Kevin Corrigan. Did you say Craig Robinson? I love that guy. Craig Robinson, yeah. Oh, it makes it easy. It doesn't. It can't be

what I'm thinking. Totally gives it away. Not me. I'm a film fool. Daytime weed smoking. I know. 2008. Yes. Two and a half stars. Correct. From Leonard. Audacious and uneven.

He memorizes those critic words. Ed Begley Jr., the only film I can think of but Craig Robinson wasn't in it. Just say it, man. Blow everybody away. I'm just going to give it away. Randy, I'm sorry, but I can't win this one. Blow it out. Just say it man blow everybody away I'm just going to give it away Randy I'm sorry but I cannot win this one

blow it out just say it kill it you got it I don't have it you know what it is hot tub time machine I told you

I don't know a film and I know that's not even the year he's probably like fourth billed in that and it was much more recent yeah I know it was more recent I don't know

this is as movies where people smoke pot during the day. Oh no, Pineapple Express? That's correct. It's unfortunate you already fucked that up. Why didn't I say

Pineapple Express? I don't know why. I kept trying to push you to say it. If you had it 12 mils in one of me, I'd let you have it. Do you know what's so bizarre?

And I'm so sorry to yell it out, but you know what's so weird? Before you even named the, before we even started the game, I'm like, I hope it's Pineapple Express. In my head, I'm like, that pop movie. You hoped for it so bad that it happened, and then you couldn't see it. But I couldn't even recognize it. Who is Ed Begley Jr. in Pineapple Express?

Why is it not clicking? It doesn't matter. No, I... Well, I don't remember what he did in it. Okay. It's not part of the game. That completely threw me. I couldn't figure it out.

He's a Chinese guy. He's a hell of an actor. But Craig Robinson lowly billed smoking weed during the day. That would have been... Might have got you there,

but... I'm a fool. No, you're not a fool. I'm a fool. No, you're just very stupid. For love. Please don't

sing on my podcast. ASCAP is going to come after us at some point. And we're going to have to pay for that shit. Look how messy this stage has become. Thank you for pointing that out. Again, the listeners need to know all this kind of stuff.

And who are you playing for, Chris? Lizzie. Lizzie, you're right there. Come grab your bags of fun. And do you want your name tag thingy back? Because you can have that too. It's in a nice folder. We're not going to say you're shithead because you're the winner.

Do you guys have shitheads on the back of your name tags? If you could pass them down to me, I'd appreciate it. Don't feel so sad. You'll all be back on the show again, except for one of you. Randy, I'm sorry. It doesn't even make sense. I fucking blew it. There really is a lot of candy on this thing.

I can see why you picked it, Scott. Alright. Oh, and there's a Snickers egg on the back. Don't fuck around with that. I don't think I've ever even had a Snickers egg. I tried to tear the shithead off and it just came apart in my hands. So, sorry, I can't say

your shithead. I'm kidding. Do you have any plugs? Scott Weinberg, what are you doing? You're here at South By for a few days writing about films,

seeing all the shit you can. Yeah, I watch as many movies as I can and hang out with some friends and then I go back and write all night and sleep for five hours and it's literally

the best job in the world although it is really exhausting and it pays like shit. But thank you for doing it. You're doing us all a service. You can find me on Twitter. Scott E. Weinberg on Twitter. And Nerdist and The Horror Show.

Thank you. Follow him if you want to hear way too much about every movie ever made and in a good way. Nick Soon, you've got shows coming up here at South By? Yeah, tomorrow 7 at the Hideout is actually my own festival.

It's Nick by Nick Thune. It's at 7 p.m. It's about time somebody started a festival within the festival. This is like a badge they'd give you for Xanadu screening. And I've got a screening and I've you know I've got a website

and I want to push it on people but it is my name and yeah T-H-U-N-E Nick Thune thanks for being here you finally started saying my name right I love saying it wrong

for so long and then Twitter came along and so whenever I say it wrong I get all these tweets from people trying to explain to me how it's pronounced so I'm just tired of fighting the system but thank you for coming Nick

thank you Nick John Doerr what do you got going on besides obviously starring in Knock Knock it's Tig Notaro which is showing maybe once or twice more here at the festival you should check it out it's very Notaro, which is showing maybe once or twice more here at the festival. You should check it out. It's very funny. Thank you. Yeah. What else is going on?

Just go to PearlJam.net. Check it out. Some good stuff going on there. You got a message board over there? Pardon me? You got a message board over there we can talk about? Yeah, they're a great band. They started in the...

Anyway, they're really cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they just... They have all your info? They just need some help. You know, I like to support them. Chris Cubis,

our winner tonight. Always. And our winner often. Very good player. He's doing all right. What do you got going on, buddy? Check out my podcast. It's called Canceled.

We watch TV shows that only made it a season or less. We're halfway in the middle of Cop Rock right now. Why are you clapping? You've clearly never seen it. Chris, did you ever do Fish Police? Not yet. We just started. We did Firefly. Now we're doing Cop Rock.

There's a song where someone sells a baby. This show is fucking insane. And watch American Crime. I'm not in it. You just like it? It's pretty good. It's alright. They shot it here in Austin. It's supposed to be Modesto, California.

But they shot it here. I'm like, oh, that's literally next to my house. I know that's not Modesto. It's nice when somebody uses a plug opportunity to promote somebody else's work. Yeah, it's really sweet. I mean, you know, it's not Pearl Jam or nothing, but... Pretty good.

I took care of them. No worries, yeah. Also, if you're into my stuff, check out Arby's.com. That's another good one I love your sauce Doug what do you got coming up I'm going to be at the Comedy Zone in Charlotte

North Carolina next week from Wednesday the March 25th and Douglovesmovies.com of course where you can go for all the dates and deeds and links and like I said earlier in the show I'm doing a bunch of stuff here at South by and oh yeah I'm doing if anybody wants to go to a show tonight 10 o'clock at Esther's

Follies I'm doing the roast battle saying horribly mean things about a friend of mine so it should be fun that'll be super fun yeah Ashley Barnell she's very funny but I'm to talk about her pussy a lot. So, Rose, I apologize. Can you give us an example of what kind of thing you're going to say about her pussy? Oh, no. Sure. Ashley Barnhill, no one knows who she is. It'll work anyway. Ashley Barnhill's

pussy is like spoken word poetry. College-age kids might like it it but it stinks I'm glad I got to run a joke before the show that was alright I'm just trying to think of one I'm terrible at those I can't think of one. I'm terrible at those. I can't think of one. Does anybody else have a... What's her name again?

Her name's Ashley Bardell. She's hilarious and a very funny comic. Let's do Ashley Bardell pussy jokes. Yeah, do another joke about her pussy. So we go down the line to an Ashley Bardell pussy joke. That makes me very happy. Ashley Bardell's pussy is so big. How big is it?

It's just a very large pussy. Ashley Bardo's pussy is so big, it's the only venue here at South By that never fills up. Hey, Doug. Knock, knock. Who's there? It's me, Ashley Parra's pussy. You've seen me a lot.

You know me. Doug, knock, knock. Who's there? It's me. I'm trapped inside Ashley's pussy. So many men have been inside Ashley's pussy. It should be Ashley Bardont. Hey, John, say knock-knock to me again. Hey, Doug, knock-knock.

Is there anybody else here who can answer the door? If I'd have said that the first time, that would have been amazing. Wait, hey, Doug. It's okay, you can edit. Say knock-knock to me. Knock-knock. Who's there? No, do the joke

I know this one Orange Orange who? Orange, you glad I didn't say John Doerr? Alright, we gotta wrap this up Thank you to all of my guests Scott Weinberg, Nick Thune John Doerr

Chris Cubis, and Ashley Bardot's pussy. First base. And as always, Tim Bennett of timbennett.com is a shithead. That was an inside personal one.

These other ones are vendettas. Last second guest list friends to a full house is a shithead. There's also somebody settling a score nobody cares about. And we'll see how this one flies. As Scott passes things out to the audience. Franklin Barbecue is a shithead.

You fucked up. Mixed feelings. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.