Doug Loves Movies - Jon Hamm, James Urbaniak, and Bryan Bishop Guest

Episode Date: April 22, 2014

Doug welcomes actors Jon Hamm and James Urbaniak, and author Bryan Bishop to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky baby sticky seeds With 50 acid pop-up kernels in his teeth They're still not warm, then he won't see The Doug Loves Movies! Hey everybody! My name is Doug and this is Doug Loves Movies and this is Doug Loves Movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. That's what I just said.

Coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles on Tuesday, April 22nd. 2014 Wolf of Wall Street Fight Tournament Air 2 Judgment Day of the Dead Men Walking Tall and President's Men in Black Fisher King Ralph a Dog Day Afternoon Delight Sleeper Light Sleeper

Yeah, Paul Schrader Woo! He might be a guest on the show someday. Possibly in New York City at Irving Plaza on Monday, June 2nd I had a fantastic time at Wow Hall in Eugene, Oregon last night doing my fourth annual 421 show,

and I look forward to the fifth annual next year. Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. Past and future guest Craig Bierko tweeted, really enjoyed Mother, Jugs, and Speed last night, which I understand is also a movie title. This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about movies.

He's very funny on Twitter, at Mr. Craig Bjerko. Saturday, May 3rd, Doug Loves Movies returns to Madison, Wisconsin at the Comedy on State Comedy Club. And Sunday, May the 4th be with you, stand up at the Zany's in Chicago at 420. Lots of crazy fun things in the gift bag, including not only Gateway Doug and a Douglas Movies T-shirt,

but also a gentleman gave this to me out on the road. It's a Douglas Movies logo artwork. It's a more realistic depiction of my beard than the actual logo because it's a fucking mess. But the rest of it's very nice and I can sense you guys are very excited to possibly win that.

Very excited indeed. Oh, and somebody gave me this cool tie-dye shirt for some reason. I don't know what, I don't know why tie-dye and me some reason I don't know what I don't know why tie-dye and me would be necessarily connected and and some other cool things that I'm going to tell you about once I get the guests out here please give a big warm welcome to bald Brian Bishop James Urbaniak and John Hamm The famous actors always grow a beard

when they're not shooting so they don't get recognized. Yeah, what's up, Jon Hamm? I like to spend my hiatus in peace so I get fatter and I grow a beard and everyone leaves me alone. You change your voice and your whole demeanor. The whole everything. You're a completely different dude.

Yeah. That's amazing. They use really good cameras. This is actually my friend Jeff Tate, who's hanging out. He's going to do Put Your Hands Together later tonight. Yeah. And...

We just cleared that up for everybody. Well, Jon Hamm texted me saying that he was running late, but that he's on his way. And I thought it'd be fun for you to walk out instead of him, just to create a massive disappointment amongst 100 people. Everyone was so excited. It worked. Yeah.

But two out of three awesome guests isn't bad. amongst a hundred people. Everyone was so excited. It worked. Yeah. But two out of three awesome guests isn't bad. No, Jeff, you're awesome too, dude. You love Cheers. Yeah. We know that about you. What'd you tweet about it today? You had a Cheers tweet today.

Oh, I got to the end of season three and Coach died again. And he's going to die every time you watch end of season 3 and Coach died again and he's going to die every time you watch all of season 3 every time I get to the end of season 3 he dies and every time I feel like I'm surprised by it and I start to cry a little bit this happened 6 months ago

and 6 months before that and a lot, I do it a lot it's kind of a problem actually but you tweeted that Woody is a nice replacement Woody is a nice replacement. Woody's a nice replacement, and Frasier starts being a real character. Season 4, Episode 1, you guys.

Netflix it. Well, hang tight, Jeff, and don't make, like, if Jon Hamm runs in, don't make faces like you're going to fight him for the seat. Just, you know. No, I'll leave. Just get out of the way just let the transition happen like Woody replaced Coach

just let it happen that is first time guest James Urbaniak everybody thank you thank you for having me it's the best podcast it's exciting to be on the best podcast oh well thank you very much.

There it is. There it is. We got a seat for you right here. This gentleman's going to get out of the way. Hi, I'm sorry I'm late. It was the valet's fault. I mean, right? You guys know.

This seems like orchestrated by a publicist. This extra round of applause you got for coming in late. And the scarf like you ran here. From the 30s. And the baseball hat. You were scouting. This is actually part of the gift. Oh, it is?

That's part of the gift? It's been on your head? No, it's that it doesn't fit. It's just way too big. Oh, okay. But you didn't sweat it up or anything? No. It's brand new?

Brand new. All right, so you got a... What team does this represent? St. Louis Cardinals. And what else is in the bag here? Season 6 Mad Men thing. There you go. Season 6 of Mad Men.

What did I miss, Doug? Look out. Harry's growing mutton chops. What did you miss? We just sat down. We were talking about Cheers and the transition between the old guy, the young guy,

the bartenders. Nick Colasanto and Woody Harrelson. Yes, all right. You get a point. Thank you. You're on the board. No, we were just discussing James, this is his first appearance

on the program. James and I discussing, James, this is his first appearance on the program. James and I actually have worked together, kind of. Well, we have a tenuous connection, which is related to one of my gifts. Okay. I will bring up. Okay, one of your gifts. Can I assume which one? It's like a six degrees thing.

Is it the Venture Brothers? No, that's not. Alright, so that's in the bag. Don't wait. A Blu-ray of Venture Brothers? No, that's not. All right, so that's in the bag. Blu-ray of Venture Brothers. Season five. We've both been on Adult Swim. And then a copy of all of the Legally Blonde films. Did you know there were three?

There are three, I guess. That third one is really a head-scratcher, though, because neither of those girls look like the girl that stars in the Legally Blonde movies. I saw this in the store the other day. I had no idea there were three. The third one apparently stars twins. They're not the Olsen twins. No, it's Arnold Schwarzenegger

and Danny DeVito. Because you can't replace Reese Witherspoon with just one actress. You've got to have two. I am in Legally Blonde 2, red, white, and blonde. I know you're into full titles on this show. Yeah gotta have two. I am in Legally Blonde 2, Red, White, and Blonde. I know you're into full titles on this show. Yeah, I am.

And that's directed by Charles Herman-Wornfeld, who directed Kissing Jessica Stein, that Jon Hamm is in, written and also starring Jennifer Westfeld. And I was cut from that film. Yes. And that's our connections from 2001. Because of me.

It was just, he was like, there's too much handsomeness in this film. Way too much. No, it was actually an excellent, excellent scene. One of the first scenes we shot of the film, if not the first. Were you there that day? I was. That you shot that? In a boat.

I'm in a boat, and I had trouble, like, rowing the boat. Navigating said boat. In Central Park. You can find it on, I think it's on the DVD. Well, it's on the deleted scenes. Yes. And Jen and the other girls

say very nice things about my performance. Which would be a good category. Jon Hamm films that James Ravaniak was cut from. Only one. There's only one movie.

Bald Brian Bishop is here, you guys. Yay. Of the Adam Carolla Program fame And not involved in this movie But you brought a blu-ray of Liam Neeson in the grey No no I'm a wolf

Oh you're one of the wolves It's amazing what they're doing with special effects And then you brought You're running around doing lots of promotion right now for your book that is coming out. This is,

for the prize bag, an advanced reading copy. Yes, it is not, as we're taping this, it comes out a week from today, but it will be available if you're listening

to this at home. See what I'm saying? It comes out a week from today, but today, I don't get that at all. I think this episode is going to come out tomorrow

so oh shit comes out in a week there you go it's an easier way to look at it and the book is called Shrinkage by Brian Bishop

Manhood, Marriage and the Tumor that Tried to Kill Me yes it's an advanced reading copy it is a week before it comes out so hope you

hope you enjoy yeah whoever wins tonight, I'm going to expect a review on my desk. An essay about Brian's book. And then, of course, let's give it up to him one more time. John Hamm is here, everybody. Yay!

Sorry for being late. Bless you. It's okay. Were you at the movies? I was not. Oh, because that's a great excuse for being late. Bless you. It's okay. Were you at the movies? I was not. Oh, because that's a great excuse for being late. I was watching the Cardinals play baseball. Oh, okay. And I totally forgot, and I told you I would do this tonight. We texted, like, this morning.

It was early. We emailed. It was early. It was before. He parked at the Elf's and ran over. It was before cocktail hour. When I got that text, I almost said, you probably should text me to remind me again later this afternoon. And you didn't I got that text, I almost said, you probably should text me

to remind me again later this afternoon. And you didn't get my imagined text and therefore you didn't imaginarily remind me. And so that's why I was late. Do you think when Don Draper

is like stuck in a meeting that's really long and boring and he wants to have a cigarette, do you think he'd use Snooze, that product that you can just put underneath your tongue and just sneakily have a... Have you ever tried something like that? use snooze, that product that you can just put underneath your tongue and just sneakily have a...

Have you ever tried something like that? A snooze? A snooze? Yeah. It's sun spelled backwards. It's just weird. It's like, I don't know why they asked to be advertisers on Doug Loves Movies. This is the best I could do at working with them into the conversation.

Also, in the 60s, Don Draper wouldn't have had to done the disclaimer. No, that. Also, in the 60s, Don Draper wouldn't have had to done the disclaimer. No, that's right. About the mouth issue. Yeah, the mouth cancer. At the end of every time I talk about snooze, I have to go, warning, mouth cancer.

That's just fair. It's totally fair. But they don't have to say at the end of a movie trailer on TV, warning probably sucks. It's deeply symbolic of the issue of sustaining podcasts and the necessities of commercialism. Yeah, thank you for that. Have you been?

So the listeners know even better idea who James is. He's been on Review, the awesome new Andy Daly show. I'm on the new Andy Daly show, Review. And you're the lie detector guy on Homeland. There were like a couple episodes where I was the lie detector guy on Homeland. You're Captain Junk Science on that show. Do you believe in lie detectors? Do you think they really work?

No, I think they're probably very flawed. That's how good an actor you are. You really sell it on that show. You seem like you know... Well, the character has an inner tension. He doesn't believe in what he does.

Oh, okay. I think as plot devices they work amazing, though. I was just disappointed in like, now it's just all done on a Mac. It's not like the

film-worthy machine with the needle that moves and stuff. Oh, really? Yeah, it's all digital and uninteresting. There's an app for that. He's doing it on an iPhone now.

You use your ways to get to the place and then they just lie detect you. It's called Snap Lies. Your lies are only on there for 10 seconds, but somebody's going to get a screenshot of it. John is the current super champion of the Tournament of Championships.

Wow. He'll someday compete, I hope, in the Super Duper Tournament of Championships. When will that be? I should probably plan it. That's way down the road. That's way down the road. I'll get back to you. I'm excited.

I'll need more than one text. I'm just glad Sam Levine's not here. For my premiere. For what reason? Because that would be too intimidating for me as a newbie. Because he's like Rain Man. It's so not intimidating when you sit next to him. See, that's how you beat him.

It's like the opposite of intimidating. The least intimidating. Jon Hamm has to him. That's how you beat him. It's like the opposite of intimidating. Jon Hamm has beaten him, so that's interesting that you're still more scared of Sam than you are of Jon. Totally. I think Jon just is a more lovable player. That's true. Somebody you're happy to lose to. Jon doesn't seem like he would get pissy when things don't go his way.

Very true. Whatever gets me out of here. He's never played poker with you, right, buddy? Yeah, exactly. Holy shit, we used to get so mad playing poker, because we used to not be able to afford it, you know, and we'd play with guys who were working. So, like, you know, when a really huge pot would build

up and you had a lot of money in there, boy, it'd get... Well, we also played with people who smoked a ton of weed, and so it would tend to, like, hands would take 45 minutes, because people would forget where they were mid-deal. I don't know what you're talking about. I run a fast game. You were fine. I run a fast game.

And there's no way Sam Levine would forget he was doing the show. Oh, don't play poker with Sam Levine either, you guys. Don't do that if you get the chance. This episode should just be called Things Not To Do With Sam Levine. Do

give him a hug when you see him. It's a great feeling. Compliment him. That always goes well. Lift him. Lift him up. Carry him around. Carry him one block. Doug's passcode, everyone. Six five one three three. Write it down. Six five one three three. Write it down. Six five

one three three. Oh, this just in. Jon Hamm is five away, you guys. Five away till Jon Hamm. Glad I saw that now. Yeah. Have you had time to see movies at all lately, Jon Hamm? I saw the Lego movie.

That was not too long ago. Enjoyed it. I saw The Frozen. It was not too long ago. Enjoyed it. I saw The Frozen. It was on a little bit of a children's movie kick. I saw all of them by myself. I just saw that today by myself. Most of them during the day. Nothing like a 40-some-odd-year-old person

strolling into a near-empty theater in a West Side. Singing a song. Singing a song on the west side. Singing a song. Singing a song on the way out. We'll be back with more of Doug Loves Creeps right after this message. It's like a more benign Pee Wee Herman and Fred Willard story.

You were just at a kids movie. By the way, those of you who have not seen it, I couldn't wholeheartedly recommend the Lego movie more. It was excellent and funny and cool. Yeah. And then two documentaries. One called An Act of Killing, which is devastating. I haven't seen

that because I'm scared of it. Arrgh. And the other one is called Afternoon of a Fawn about a ballet dancer. Yep. What? Also saw that by myself. Had a lot of time on my hands during the hiatus. Saw a lot of movies that not a lot of time on my hands during the hiatus. Saw a lot of movies that

not a lot of people saw, and some that people did. So you're there. It made a movie that everyone should go see called Million Dollar Arm. Yes. Yeah. May 16th. Everyone go see it. It's a good movie. You can take your children, if you have them. Can you go alone? Or just snatch up some children.

Only if you have them. Kids, can I take you to the Million million dollar arm that doesn't sound shady at all no it's got that guy that plays the philanderer in it I'm sure it's fine for all ages it is it's PG it's Disney it's wonderful it's a wonderful movie based on a true story so if you like baseball and families and feeling good.

Brian, have you seen the trailer for it? I have. No, no, no, no, I have not. I'm sorry. I take it back. I have not. Pick a side. Do you know what the story's about?

It's about an arm that's worth a million dollars. Sort of. Yes. Baseball and families. They want to find a million dollar arm. So he's a guy looking for players and he goes to India and tries to get some guys who are great at cricket to adapt to baseball.

He has to teach them baseball. He has to say wax on, wax off. All the things you do when you're training somebody. That's not baseball. Oh, sorry. That's not anything. That's karate. That's just made up for that one movie. That's karate fighting, I'm pretty sure. Jacket on, jacket off.

Nope, that's a different thing too. So, did I ask you if you've been to the movies lately? You did not. Okay, let's do that. Go ahead. Let's run with that. I saw Draft Day. There you go. Don't fucking cheer for that. There you go. Sports movie. We're talking sports movies.

No good. I saw Captain America for that. There you go. Sports movie. We're talking sports movies. No good. I saw Captain America. I'm mostly caught up. I saw Captain America, The Winter Soldier. Pretty good. I liked it. You liked it? Yeah, I would put it in the category of good movies.

Best Captain America movie yet? It's in the top two for sure. Great. Without a doubt. Is that counting Avengers? That is... Oh. Okay. Well, it's I can confidently... Is that counting Avengers? That is... Oh. Okay.

Well, it's in the top three no matter what. Iron Man 3 is my favorite Marvel movie. No, it is not. Yes, it is. Iron Man 3. I love Iron Man 3. I can't get enough of Iron Man 3. Is that the one where he fights Don Drago?

Yes. Christmas Day. These mics are working. But I also like the Avengers a great deal. And then Captain America, Winter Soldier, probably fall after that. Okay. Maybe about third. You said top three of all Marvel films then Captain America, Winter Soldier, probably fall after that, maybe about third.

You'd say top three of all Marvel films is Captain America, Yeah, how many have there been? Like a hundred? No. Come on. We're talking about all the way back to the X-Men movies and the Spider-Man movies. Those were Marvel movies? All right.

Spider-Man 2 is probably up there pretty high. X-Men 2 is up there too. I saw a documentary that came out last year that didn't get a lot of attention. It was very, very good. It was called Let the Fire Burn. And yeah, get a lot of attention that was very, very good. It was called Let the Fire Burn. And yeah,

one person saw it and it was very, very good. And it didn't get any attention in terms of Oscar love or anything. But check out Let the Fire Burn streaming on Netflix.

What's it about? It is a really interesting the way it's done. It's about this is a horrible elevator pitch. It's about a sort of Waco, Texas-style siege in Detroit of a group of black people that were living there. Sort of hippies, but sort of militants, too. And the police sieged their house and burned it down.

And there was a whole investigation. But the documentary is done entirely out of source footage, out of news reports, out of council, city council, you know, tape and stuff. It's all really interesting but it's done. No interviews today.

It's all source footage from 1985 or whatever it was. Interesting stuff. Sold. I'm going to watch that shit. Check it out. James, sir.

It's been a few weeks since I've been in a movie theater but I did see the Lego movie and The Wolf of Wall Street. Which I, they're both, they're very good doubles. Those would be fun to watch back to back.

They are, they're both sort of about corrupt capitalists. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good double feature for the new Beverly. Lego movie and Wolf of Wall Street. Let's make that happen, you guys. Now's the part of the show where I say, let the games begin.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I've done very well at home listening to this. Oh, good. And I know I'm just going to fuck up big time when I'm actually on the show. Everybody comes on cocky. They leave with a lot of regrets.

But, yeah, you know, it's not as easy as it seems. It's not an easy game. But you got to just look at this guy. Just relax and just run with it. And for those listening, I was pointing to Bald Brian. Okay. I've been on the show twice, and I've lost both times in ridiculous and bizarre fashion.

Do you think it was because you overreached? Your reach exceeded your grasp? I've been on the show twice and I've lost both times in ridiculous and bizarre fashion. Remember? Yeah, no. Overreached? Your reach exceeded your grasp or it was because you did not have a firm understanding of the rules?

Or were you outplayed? Far from either one. I was robbed by a couple... Was that a line from Million Dollar Arm? I wish. I was robbed by a couple of boobs.

One named Bill Burr and one named Adam Carolla. I had victory in my hand, and they guessed an absurd guess and took the point away from me. Right, well, that's the thing. Strategy can fuck you over for sure. Or the lack of it. But to determine who's going to go first today

in the Leonard Moulton game, let's play Doing Lines with Mark. Yeah. How you guys doing? You want to do some lines? Wow. Somebody in the audience just reminded me

to have you guys pick name tags. We'll do that after we do this. So go ahead, Mark Wahlberg, pre-recorded line from a movie.

First person to guess what the movie is wins. The way Crumb draws you, you look like a hairy ape. American Splendor. Wavy, stinky lines. American Splendor. That's right.

Paul Bryan beat James Urbaniak to a movie where they're talking about his character in that line. You did come ready to hunt bear today. I didn't hear the first phrase because his indecipherable Boston accent was confusing. I also agree with that. But I am in the film American Splendor.

Let's hear it again. The way Crumb draws you, you look like a hairy ape with all this wavy... I didn't hear the way Crumb draws you. I heard the white crown draws you. With all these wavy? I didn't hear the way Crumb draws you. I heard the white crown draws you. With all these wavy, sticky lines. For those who don't know, I play the character of Crumb.

You play Crumb brilliantly in the movie. So if I heard the character name, fair enough, I didn't get it. First fuck up. There's really no one disputing it. We all know you didn't get it. It's your cute thing where you do a movie someone's in and they don't get it. It's better if I didn't get it. No, Kristen Bell recognized the movie she was in.

It was even a line that was cut from the film and she recognized it. Was it her line? Yeah, yeah. That's not my... By the way, I want to say something. Wow, she got that? This is how out of the zone I was when you guessed American Splendor. In my head I heard American Beauty.

American Beauty. That could have been in there. But let's do, as the gentleman in the audience politely suggested, and select name tags for who you guys are going to play for tonight. You guys are very efficient at picking out your name tags. No theatrics. I jumped over that step.

You did. Took my life in my hands. Who are you playing for here, John? It looks like someone named Jonathan. Or Jonathan Jr. Or Junior Jonathan. Or just Jonathan. But it is the movie Junior. Yes. Which apparently

stars a pregnant person whose name is not on the above the title. Or is that? No. Oh, it is. It's Arnold Schwarzenegger but with Jonathan's face. The tagline? Pretty good. Nothing is inconceivable. Yeah, you have to say it

as Wallace Shawn, though. Nothing is inconceivable. Nailed it. Nailed it. You're a big Princess Bride fan Look at this Grand Buda Chris hotel That's a diorama He made a diorama

Out of a box Good for him So proud of him Good job Buda Chris And who are you playing for James? I'm playing for a young lady named Allie and she made a poster that says Allie Hall, a play on the film Annie Hall,

and it's also decorated with starbursts. Starburst memories. Oh, my God. Maybe. You just won the game. Well, I'm going to steal a starburst, though. Yeah. Starbursts are perfect.

And Dan Keaton's face has been replaced by Ali's face. Wow, that was a ballsy... Crazy. Dude from the audience just reached forward and grabbed it like he was... just took my Starburst.

He took that like it was off the craft service table at a caveman commercial. There you go, buddy. Go nuts. Can I tell you something, sir? I respect the hell out of you for that.

Now get the fuck out of this theater. Brian's also in charge of security here. And he's not out on his book tour. Oh, that Starburst tastes delicious. It's delicious. Am I wrong? That should be your next sponsor. You could put it, like, right under your tongue

and just, like, for a quick hit. You can just let it go. Yeah, it's amazing. Did Kristen Bell just let it go? Nobody knows what you're doing. Kristen Bell wasn't the greatest at the games, but she was a good sport. And five foot one of adorable.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, nobody complained. The Grand Budapest Hotel, by the way, does have a back door. A lot of people don't know that. That's the service entrance. It's like a mouse hole. Maybe that's the garage where they keep their little model cars.

I don't know. All right, Brian gets to go first. Yay. First person to two points is going to win all the prizes in the prize bag for your person whose name tag you chose. Brian gets to pick the first category. Okay.

I picked some special ones just for today. And then this old one. Blueberry Johnson submitted Oh no, I'm sorry. Sorry, Blueberry. No, it's still Blueberry, but it's an old category but I changed it up and you guys will understand

why when I tell you this. It's called You're In This. And this is movies that people on this panel are in. So I think, Brian, you really lucked out that you don't have to pick this category. Josh underscore O suggested

Christopher Waltzen. That's movies where Christopher Walken dances. And Koji Werner suggested Barton Stink. And that's John Turturro movies that got less than two stars. Two stars or less from Leonard Maltin. Which one of those would you like to play? I think we can rule out the first one.

I do not want to do the first one. I will do Barton Stink. Bad Turturro movies. Okay. And so the movie someone was in was Across the Universe. Which one of you guys was in that? Not me. Not me.

Julie Taymor, Beatles movie. Yeah, what did you do in that? I play the manager of a Janis Joplin-type rock singer. But it's all singing, right? Do you sing some... I do not sing, unfortunately. That would have been great. The guy

singing like Dr. Venture. It's been a hard day's night. Which could have worked. Which one did you pick, Brian? I'm just enjoying the shit out of this Starburst. She loves you! Okay.

I'm done. I'm done. No, that was great. The year... The year is 1985. One and a half stars from Leonard for this movie. I think that's low. I think that's low. I think that's unfair. He calls this movie gritty.

And he also says that one thing that's good about it is not enough to counteract the bad taste the film leaves behind. And he lists nine names. And is it one and a half stars? Mm-hmm. Yeah, because it's John Turturro movies that got two stars or less. And there's nine names.

I'll go with seven, because I don't know what this is right now. Okay, well, I didn't need to give that away. Or do I? You don't. Okay. Let's go to James.

This is a very early Totoro film. Early Turt. Early Totoro. Uh... It's... Wow. Because Do the Right Thing is like 89 so it's even pre that but it's post Raging Bull

I'm just showing you what I know but I don't know what this is I'm just going to go jump into the deep end and go five names name that movie Jon Hamm did not hesitate to challenge you I have no idea I'm not guessing four.

Here's your five names, sir. Dwyer Brown was in this movie. Robert Downey Sr. Dean Stockwell. The great Dean Stockwell. Yeah, he's great. Darlene Flugel. Darlene Flugel.

And he's in the category and he's fifth billed in this movie, John Turturro. Am I allowed to hear the couple descriptive words you used before? Gritty, one and a half stars. Wow. And one thing that's great about it, it's not enough to counteract the bad taste the film leaves behind. Good Lord.

Yeah. Well, it's not Tucker, the man in his dream, because that has Dean Stockwell in it, but that's not greedy or badly tasting. And Turturro probably isn't in Tucker. He might be. Maybe. Doug, in your opinion, does this movie

deserve one and a half stars? No, no. I said that it's unfair rating. I think I know what it is now. I really like this movie. Oh, shit. Does anyone in the theater have any idea what this is? I think somebody does. Paul Bryan knows it. I have an idea. A couple other people

have an idea. Alright, my mind's a blank. I knew this was going to happen. But the movie I'm thinking of is a four-star movie. Is it Blood Simple? No. Okay. Good. Wow. Good. No, I mean, no one else is going to have the same enthusiasm for this movie as I do, but I'd give it more than one and a half stars. It's To Live and Die in L.A.

Ah. Yeah. I think you're right. That is not a one and a half star. It does have a spectacular car chase. I mean, that chase alone is worth it. Directed by Michael Mann. Is that correct?

No, no, no. It was Friedkin. Oh, there you go. Friedkin. All right. All right. So Jon Hamm's on the board. Well played.

Don't mess with the ham. You'll get the horns. You'll get the snout. Don't mess with that wild ham. You'll get the spiral tail. I would have gotten if it was Raging Bull or Do the Right Thing.

Right? The film's had bookended that movie. Sure. Well, see, you're channeling Sam Levine right now a little bit. How far off of John Turturro's head do you think his hair stood in 1985? Does anybody remember him in that film? Because I'm guessing it was about a four inch... It's pre-Proto-Barton Fink.

Big hair. Way pre-Barton Fink. That was in the 90s, yes. You know, I don't really know that much about movies. What's next, Doug? Don't know why you're throwing all these hardballs at me. It must be to promote your new film, Million Dollar Arms. I mean, the theater is May 16th.

Starring myself, Lake Bell, the kid from Life of Pi, and the other kid from Slumdog Millionaire. Whoa, that is so racist that you only know the girl's name. Is it a remake of Million Dollar Legs, which is a Jack Oakey comedy from the 30s? It's the name of... yes. Is it a sequel to Million Dollar Legs, which is a Jack Oakey comedy from the 30s? It's the name of... Yes. Is it a sequel

to Million Dollar Baby? Well, every Million Dollar Baby has two million dollar arms, so you make the call. This time, the baby's just an arm. Million Dollar Baby arm, however,

is a very different movie. The joke's been made a million times. Nothing is inconceivable, Doug. Brian gets to pick inconceivable the next category.

Would you like, and then we will go right back at you, John, because we changed the order around. Would you like The Nut Job? That was submitted by Syntrix and then we will go right back at you, John, because we changed the order around. Would you like The Nut Job? That was submitted by Syntrix Phone. And that's movies where a woman dresses up as a man. It's The Nut Job.

Full Metal Jacket. And that's movies where a robot has sex. As suggested by David K. Ashton and at Sleepy Geppetto a charming handle yes because you know when Geppetto went to sleep that's when all the shit went down and if he'd have been awake maybe he'd be able to stop that stupid puppet

from going with all those donkeys and non-stop is what Sleepy Gepp. And non-stop is what Sleepy Geppetto suggested. Non-stop. N-A-A-N. And that's film set in India. Coincidentally, we're a million dollar armistead opening May 16th. That's an incredible coincidence.

Starring myself, Lake Bell. The kid from... And a couple of foreigners. And the other kid. Not the tiger from Pine. No, not Richard Jenkins. Parker. What is the first category again?

Nutjob. Woman dresses as a man. I'll do that. Nutjob. Okay. Would you like a Nutjob movie from the year 2000 or the year 2011? 2000. Oh, interesting.

You just passed up on Albert Nobbs. Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie from the year 2000. He calls this movie frothy. He says it's a great showcase for its sexy stars. And he lists... 12 names? Can I say 12 names?

Maybe 13? Let me double check this. 12 names. Okay, if I... If I... God damn it. If I guess this on zero and don't get it, if I If I God damn it If I guess this on zero and don't get it If I miss it, who gets the point?

If you say zero? If I guess and I get it wrong It goes to me and I challenge you You got a bid John can either challenge Or you go to negative names Two and a half stars? Yeah Okay challenge or you can go to negative names. Two and a half stars? Yeah.

Okay. It's not Albert Knobbs or to live it down. Zero names. Yeah, we've narrowed it down. It might be American Splendor. Oh no, you're saying name it with zero names? Alright, what do you got? I think it's

Charlie's Angels. That's correct! Yes! Impressive. alright what do you got I think it's Charlie's Angels that's correct yes wow impressive which one of those ladies was secretly a man she dressed as LL Cool J I endlessly

well she dressed first in the first scene Drew Barrymore looks exactly like LL Cool J and pulls the rubber mask off and it turns out

it's her well that's my thing it's like why would Charlie's Angels, why would they do that every time and look like somebody else? And then later in the movie, she and, what's her name, Cameron Diaz,

they dress up as men, but they wear these shitty glued-on mustaches and toupees, and they, like, why don't you do the same thing you did with that little cool J and transform yourself entirely into a man instead of a

Drew Barrymore looking man. Was that like part of the Charlie's Angels mystique that they would don costumes?

I don't seem to remember that being part of an undercover kind of jam. I liked that first movie but just because it was so silly and Bill Murray

was in it. By the way, I auditioned for that and didn't get it but one day I was walking down the street in New York and Drew Barrymore stopped me and said how much he liked my audition. So it made it kind of worth it.

I never got stuck by her. By all accounts, she's a total sweetie. Maybe you just need to get in her face. Brand new mom. Yeah, go over there and just bang on the door. Bring her some muffins. She'll probably say something nice to you. Got another movie with Adam Sandler coming out Did you see those two back together?

It's good, it's really good And Godzilla 50 dates was not enough I want more dates With them James, you get to go first You're not on the board yet But you have a chance here

Because you get to pick a category And then we're going to go at the other direction. Go at Jon Hamm once again. Squid Eye suggested Howe Doug as a category title. And that's movies that have the word jump in the title. Jump. Yeah. Yeah, Denver suggested The Girl with the Pearl Necklace.

That's movies where Scarlett Johansson has sex. Denver suggested The Girl with the Pearl Necklace. That's movies where Scarlett Johansson has sex. And celebrating a birthday today, Jack Nicholson. Yeah, the great Jack Nicholson is celebrating a birthday today. So the films of Jack Nicholson. Which one of those would you like, James? Holy cow.

All right, give them to me once more really quickly. Jump is in the title. Scarlett Johansson has sex or Jack Nicholson has sex because let's be honest Five really easy pieces One flew over the cuckold's nest I'm not going to go with jump, but if it was white man can't jump,

I'd just totally fuck myself. So I'm going to go with the Nicholson one. Oh, let's see what it was on the jump thing. Nope. It was the film adaptation of Van Halen's jump. Yes. Which one did you decide, Scarlett Johansson? Nicholson.

Oh, Nicholson. All right, Nicholson. All right, Nicholson. This is a Nicholson movie from 2007. Two and a half stars from Leonard. He says that a character in this movie is philosophical. He also calls the movie contrived. And he accuses Nicholson of mugging, which how dare he? Nicholson has never mugged a day in his life.

The man, has this man not seen Tim Burton's Batman? And he lists seven names, seven names. What year? The year is 2007. Okay. Seven names. I'll go with... There's no shame in taking them all.

Yeah, all right. Yeah, I'll go with seven. All right. Jon Hamm. Oh, the timing may be off, but I'm going to go with negative two. Holy cow. I mean, maybe off, but I'm going to go with negative two.

Holy cow. Does he have to get it? All right, Brian, this is for the win here. You're in a position where if he gets it wrong after you challenge him, then you get the point and you have the win. But if he... I'm most likely going to get this wrong. Oh, listen to that. Does he have to get the names in order?

You're getting leveened all over the place. It has to go kind of from top down order. Oh, listen to that. Does he have to get the names in order? You're getting Levined all over. It has to go kind of from top down order. I know what it is too. I know the top two names, but I can't remember who's third in this movie. I'll say go ahead and name it. Well, do we both think it's about Schmidt? I'm sorry, say it again.

What he said about the movie? I don't know why this discussion is happening. Give me your answer, sir. I just want to say I thought about About Schmidt, but there's no way that he mugs it about Schmidt. Yeah, I thought it was anger management. Oh, well, if it is, then I'm fucked.

Go ahead and do your guess, John. Well, if it's About Schmidt. That's not how it works. You don't just float an idea out there. Hey, Alex Trebek, I'm thinking it might be along the lines of something like this. Could everybody just jump in and help me get this answer? Let's crowdsource this.

Well, it would be about Schmitted. It would be Jack Nicholson and Kathy Bates, but that seems to be wrong. Unfortunately, congratulations to Brian. You took down the mighty Jon Hamm. It's the bucket list. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman, yeah. I knew the bucket list. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman.

I knew it would be a recent Nicholson movie and I'm not good at recent movies. And who can name the third person in that movie? In Anger Management? In the bucket list. In the bucket list. Sean Hayes. One guy out there knew it was Sean Hayes.

Sean Hayes is one of their sons, I guess. Who are you going to say is one of their sons, I guess. Who are you going to say is the bucket? It was the bucket. It was the bucket. Oh, he's their lawyer? Okay. Nicholson's lawyer.

Wow. So I guess you could cross that off your bucket list. Getting to talk about it in public so knowledgeably must have been important to you. I like the idea that that Maltin would actually accuse Nicholson of mugging in About Schmidt though. Yeah.

He's like one of his most famously restrained return to the form. Then at the end he cries and Maltin goes Mugging! Enough with the goddamn mugging! Enough with the face pulling.

I didn't mug him in that movie. Sorry. That's okay. You don't have to love everything that Nicholson does. Thanks. You're a real pal, Doug. What's going on with,

so Mad Men is in It's up to episode two of the First half of the last season Answer it Oh so you're talking to John You won Popular knowledge anybody could answer it Yes it's

Last Sunday was the second episode of seven Those will be the first Half of the last season And then the first half of the last season. And then the final half of the last season will air in 2015. We are just now shooting the second episode of the final Seven. So we will finish shooting sometime in late June or July. And then they will be locked away until they air in April of 2015. I can't wait to get you back on the show.

And maybe you'll say something you're not supposed to say. I've't wait to get you back on the show and maybe you'll say something you're not supposed to say. I've never done that on this show. About what's coming up on the show. It gets better all the time. I like the whole look of it now. The time period is awesome. Brian?

Yes, sir? The book is called Shrinkage. Yeah. And it's fun. It's a fun book about the tumor in your head. It's as fun a book as you'll ever read about a guy with a brain tumor. I promise you. It's, yeah, it's out

in a week, and I worked really hard on it, and I'm really proud of it, so consider checking it out. It's on audiobook, too. I know, obviously, people, the world that we live in. Did you read it? I read the book. Oh, you should have got Dame Judy Dench to read it. Well, that was our first choice. She passed, and they came to me.

But obviously, if you're a fan of podcasts, you like listening to shit, so check it out. If you ever can't get Dame Judi Dench, Dame Rudy Dench is often available. It's a beautiful voice. I'll get her number for me. Wait for the Mets in the 70s, Rudy Dench. James, what's going on with you? What can we check out? Very quickly, though, to make myself feel better,

was the Scarlett Johansson sex movie The Man Who Wasn't There? Oh, she had sex in that? Yeah, she blows Richard Jenkins. Oh, she doesn't? What's the one where she blows Richard Jenkins? She tries to blow Richard Jenkins? Seems like that would be easy to do.

All right, anyway. I'm on review. Now I want to look it up. Yeah, but while you're looking it up, I'm on the Andy Daly show review. No, that's not the one. All right, good. That's good.

I feel better. That I didn't pick one I didn't know. A review on Comedy Central, and I'm recording the, yay, and I'm recording the sixth season of The Venture Brothers, the beloved cult show. Yay. Oh, some of the kids know it.

Oh, and I have my own little podcast. It's called Getting On with James Urbaniak, and it's like little radio plays, and it's on ferroaudio.com. Well, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. All of you, please come back again. And can you pass me your name tag, James?

Because it should have a shithead on the back. If it doesn't, we'll have to rectify that. Oh, it does. Oh, more Starburst for John. Who knew you were so into Starburst? Okay, that's interesting. All right. I've got some plugs.

I must, right? Oh, apologies to put your hands together. Shirts are available at dougloveshirts.com. And Brian, you won. Can you come back next week? I would love to. Defend your title? All right, Brian's going to come back.

No! Good job. Wait, you can't? Book tour. I'll be in New York signing books. Oh, what a shame. I'll have to book a famous film star. Sorry, everyone.

Yeah, I think we're going to have somebody that's in two of my favorite film comedies of all time. Hey, guys, producer Ryan here. Just a quick correction. There will not be a Doug Loves Movies taping on Tuesday, April 30th. The next one will be on Tuesday, May 6th. Hope to see you there. And thanks again to everybody for being here. And thank you guys for coming and watching. And as always, job interviews are a shithead.

Sorry, telephone job interviews. Wait, so that's interviews for telephone jobs? We don't have to read that one because they won, but I agree, patent trolls are a shithead. And the Motion Picture Association of America is a shithead. Yay. Yay. Mother Pocky, eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!