Doug Loves Movies - Jonah Ray and Matt Mira Vs. Dallas

Episode Date: July 22, 2012

Jonah Ray and Matt Mira play the Leonard Maltin Game against audience members at Hyenas Comedy Club in Dallas, TX...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug Loves Movies! Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, a mini boner episode coming to you from a hotel room in Dallas, Texas on Sunday, July 22nd to Oceans 12. We did two shows today at Hyena's Comedy Club. One at 4.20, which was a stand-up show, and we played some Leonard Maltin game at the end. And then at 7.30, we did a Douglas Movies, which you will hear soon in its entirety, but in the meantime, I thought you'd like to hear the Leonard Maltin game from the stand-up show,

because a lot of my stand-up shows these days, we play a Leonard Maltin game at the end, and in this particular case, the winner got to be the third guest in the Doug Loves Movies taping that we did later the same evening. Make sense? I hope so. And I hope you enjoy listening to this, and I hope you come out to see me and Graham Elwood at Helium Comedy Club in Portland on Wednesday, July 25th, and at the Pittsburgh Improv on July 28th and 29th. Both of those shows are at 420.

And we will play the Leonard Maltin game at the end, just like you're about to hear, with my special guests, Jonah Ray and Matt Myra from the Nerdist Podcast competing against audience members. So if you like that sort of thing, keep listening. And if you don't like that sort of thing don't don't listen I'm sure you got other things to do alright Matt Myra

like flipped the dude off and then took his name tag and it's Wade's world cause your name is Wade yeah could have been world so it's important to me to ask there's a banana? world? Because your name is Wade. Yeah, could have been world. So it's important for me to ask. There's a banana?

A guy just fucking wrote his name on a banana. With a smiley face. Oh, and a smiley face. That's a bit redundant, though. And what is the... The banana's already a smiley face. You don't have to put a smiley face on a banana. See? And what is the... The banana's already a smiley face. You don't have to put a smiley face on the banana. Good, good. Visual humor.

I love visual humor. Oh, he's sad. Sad banana face. Now put it in his butt. And it says Luke on the banana because that banana is our only hope alright so I should have just had you do this one at a time

instead of both at the same time oh I like that one what does that say? Santanalisa? Santanalisa because your name is Analisa? there you go. I thought her name was Satan.

I thought her name was Issa and she sat on anal Issa. Issa, she's just way into Santana. Yeah. Santana the band or Santana the character from Glee. All right. So I should

have had you go one at a time, but let's start with Jonah. And Luke, can you come up here? Do you want to play the game? Do you want to play and let them all go? And step right on up. Just get past Wade there. Just Wade through Wade and make your way over. Just stand next to Jonah over there. You guys will share a microphone. Let me ask you this. Luke, can you appear later tonight in the show? Yes, I'd be happy to. Okay, good, good, good. I'm looking to. All right. If you win, if you beat Jonah, then Wade's not even going to get a chance.

Okay. You know what we'll do? If you beat Jonah, we'll let Wade go up against Matt, and if he also beats Matt, then we'll do some sort of tiebreaker thing that I'll make up off the top of my head. How's the view back there? There you go. There you go. Alright. Let's open up the Leonard Maltin app. And you guys in the audience, if you think you know the answer at some point during this, please don't shout out.

It's just between Luke and Jonah. And Luke gets to hold up a banana and pick from the following categories. Would you like Lord of the Rings, which is films that take place at or about the Olympics? Or Moonrise the Rings, which is films that take place at or about the Olympics? Or Moonrise Condom, which is movies that feature people having sex in space at some point?

And today, celebrating a birthday, lots of good birthdays today, but the one I chose is the great Albert Brooks is celebrating a birthday today. And so the films of Albert Brooks. Which one of those categories would you like to play, Luke? The first one. The first one, Lord of the Rings. That was the worst category. Sorry.

Well, it might be the best for him, Jonah. So he's playing... Sex and space movies. Strategically. There's just a scene where they have sex and space. Oh, it's not exclusively? It's not all about... It's not an entire movie about... It's not just sex in space. Oh, it's not exclusively? It's not all about... It's not an entire movie about... It's not just Emmanuel in space.

Emmanuel in space. All right. Leonard gives this movie that has Olympics in it three stars. The year is 2004. Again, please don't yell out if you think you know it.

He says this movie is the story of some people he also says about this movie that it's oh okay it's a waitress I was going to yell at

someone for talking waitress explaining to people how bills are paid Leonard calls this movie exciting even though the conclusion is a given. Yeah, yeah. I don't remember a lot of the Olympics movies where the characters and the lead characters, like, lost. They at least tend to come in second, right? And then, yeah.

So that's enough clues, I think. 2004, and Leonard lists nine names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Luke? Negative one. Negative one, he says! What do you say to that, Jonah? Name that movie. All right, what's it called?

Plains of Glory, Will Ferrell. Oh, shit! It's Miracle with Kurt Russell. Oh, man! If you want to play some Miracle, then the answer's given with this one. Oh, no, both girls did this. It's like a connectable comedy.

Yeah, yeah, all right. It's one of the historical moments. But thank you for playing Luke Let's hear it for Luke, everybody I could have done it a negative one Kurt Russell I was prepared for that Were you?

Yeah But you couldn't go negative two, right? Because you don't remember You don't remember who played his wife No It's Patricia Clarkson Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah Exactly And then his I guess his co-coach You don't remember who played his wife? No. It's Patricia Clarkson. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. And then his, I guess his co-coach or whatever was Noah Emmerich. Is that Michael's name? He doesn't get a mention out of the nine names. All right, let's get Wade up here. Here's your chance, Wade.

Going to go up against Matt. There's his name tag. There Matt. There's his name tag. There's his Wade's World name tag. And you get to pick from the following categories, Wade. Would you like... Would you like Kangaroo Jack City? That's movies where Ice-T played a kangaroo. Or... Or Ghost Propofol,

which is films that have a Michael Jackson song in them. Or Mad Props, a film in which someone at some point is killed by a propeller. I thought it was going to be Carrot Top Movies. Not Carrot Top Movies, because there's only the one. Chairman of the B-O-R-E-D.

Which one of those do you like, Wade? The Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson. All right. There's a Michael Jackson song in this movie from 1981. Yeah. Quite a bit of a Michael Jackson song plays over one particular scene. I will tell you that it's a very funny scene.

Leonard gives this movie two and a half stars. I beg to differ. I like it a lot more. And he says that a director plays a director, a real director plays a director in the movie. Yeah, that's a pretty good clue. That's exciting for Leonard Maltin. And he also calls it alternately obnoxious and hilarious. So there's a lot going on there.

And he lists six names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Wade? Six. Six. Smart opening bid. We go to Matt. I'm going to go four. Matt says four names, Wade.

I'll go three. Oh. At least I named that movie. All right. What? No? Here you go. Your three names are... I'm going to sign. I'm not going to get it. Your three names are George Kennedy, James L. Brooks, he'd be the director I was speaking of and Jane Halloran yeah I think you're in trouble Wade you got a guess? oh that is a good guess this is a very tough one

you really stepped in it and I apologize the motion picture is called This is a very tough one. You really stepped in it, and I apologize. The motion picture is called, and it's just funny coincidence, it's also his birthday today, it's the Albert Brooks movie, Modern Romance. And he gets into his car to go out on a date, and he's upset because he broke up with his girlfriend,

and he's going out to go out with somebody new, and the Michael Jackson song, She's out of my life, comes on, and he's driving and listening to it, and all he does is just drive around the block, and then get out of his car and go back inside the house. It's fucking hilarious. I'm sorry you lost Wade. Let's hear it for Wade, everybody.

We got to get a third guest for the taping later tonight, so Jonah, pick somebody else. Jonah, pick somebody else. There's somebody on his iPad. He's got Teddy instead of Ted. And then it says Rubskin. Rubskin. Teddy Rubskin. That's a joke they make in the movie

Ted, right? No? They don't say that? Seems like something they'd say. I'll do this for you, Doug. I think I see a Ghost Protocol poster. Oh, Ghost Protocol. Get up here. Let's do it, Ghost Protocol. Oh, and he's got cookies also, so keep that in mind, Matt. I've made my choice.

Matt, if you get to pick, we'll go to him, maybe. Maybe, I don't know. His name's Jimmy. Jimmy! Ghost World Jimmy. and you're Ghost Protocol, and it says Doug Benson. Yeah, and it's got my face in the hoodie instead of Tom Cruise. There's one guy

in the back just clapping gleefully about that. I don't know why it's so exciting. Okay, which category would you like to play, Jimmy? Would you like Fuck Sting? That's like instead of Fuck the Police, Fuck Sting, and it's movies that feature police. It's movies that have police in them.

That's a little wrong about Way of Gettler. Yeah. Or Dead Horse category, which is a movie that's had four or more sequels, so it's like beating a dead horse. Or I'm So Thor, which is movies in which someone has a lisp. I'm So Thor. I'm So Thor.

Really quick, I do want to point out that you do have a comma on your shirt. What? Wait, whose benefit was that for? Like, why did you have to point that out? Because it was really distracting. Talking to the microphone. It was really distracting. There was just white substance on his chest. So you narrowed it down to...

Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Jonah. It's distracting. I can't play the game when he's covered in jizz. Maybe that was his strategy. Not in your head, y'all. Which category do you like, Jimmy?

Jimmy Jizz? Awesome. Dead Horse. Dead Horse. Okay. This movie had four or more sequels. It's from 1987. Wait.

Yeah. 87? Yeah. One and a half stars from Leonard he says this movie is about someone who's obnoxious he's throwing that word around a lot he says it's about someone who's obnoxious and he also says it's unfunny and it's aimed at children who aren't very bright

and he lists six names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Jimmy? Six. Six, he says. Jonah? Are you still thinking about the jizz on his shirt? He touched my hand. This is weird.

I'm going to go with three names. He says three? Yeah. Jimmy J? I'm going to make him name it. You're going to make him name it? Okay. Here's your three names.

Gaylord Sartain. Oh, fuck. Lyle Alzado. and Iron Eyes Cody. I think we might have a winner, Jimmy. I think we might have a winner. Is it... Say something. Come on! Spin it on! Spin it on his shirt! I got it, I got it. He wants to guess. Land Before Time? No. Way too many of those. They made a lot of those Land Before Times? They were all directed video though. Oh, okay.

Now this had many sequels, and they always had the name of the character in the title, and the first one was Ernest Goes to Camp! Ernest Goes to Camp! Oh, Ironside! Hey Vern! Hey Vern! Hey Vern! And Jimmy's our winner everybody! Yay!

Hi guys! This is what's Williams, everybody. And did Jimmy come back for the show tonight? Did you already have tickets to see the show? Yeah, yeah. Okay, good. So you could have gotten in for free, but I'm excited that you paid and you're going to be on the panel. And what's your actual last name, Jimmy?

Thomason. Thomason. Thomason. Okay. And so anybody that works here, jot down that name or just remember that he's going to have stuff on his shirt. Because I'm sure you're going to need some time to go do some more masturbating. Or however it was when it got there in the first place. Thank you so much, Jimmy. We'll see you at the next show. And thank you to my guy, Ray. See you guys later.

and thank you back always do well and see you guys later now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie Eyes of Gold

is viewing prowess makes him cocky there's no room in his heart for you cause Doug loves

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