Doug Loves Movies - Jonah Ray, Chris Cubas, Rory Scovel and Geoff Tate guest

Episode Date: January 6, 2016

Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in Los Angeles, Doug welcomes comedians Jonah Ray, Chris Cubas, Rory Scovel and Geoff Tate to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Tonight's episode is brought to you by Colony. From Carlton Cuse, executive producer of Lost, comes USA Network's new original series, Colony, starring Josh Holloway of Lost and Sarah Wayne Callies of Walking Dead. I've been telling you about this show for a couple weeks now. Imagine an occupied world where everyone must choose a side. If your city was no longer your own, who would you trust with your life? Where would you run? And what would you risk to save the ones you love? Colony, a new original series, Thursday, January 14th at 10 o'clock, nine central, only on USA Network. Enjoy the show. Doug hates candy wrappers screaming,

maybe sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see because Doug

loves movies. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. I was a little worried about that one, but you guys pulled it off by the end. And we're coming to you again from Nerd Melt showroom

in the back of Meltdown Comics in Hollywood, California. It's Tuesday, January 5th, 2016. Let me see your name tags. Get to your seat and pull out your name tag. Do you have one? No? It's okay if you don't. Me and Earl and

what girl? Andy? Andy Dying Girl. Oh, because you're Andy. Me and Earl, Andy Dying Girl. Oh, because you're Andy. Me, Andrew Earl, Andy Dying Girl. Got it. What's that big one over there? John of the Dead. And it's my head instead of a zombie head.

Right? Yeah, something like that. Yeah. And then what's with all the Snickers? It's a bribe. You just blew a bunch of Snickers to it. Snickers. And then what's with all the snickers? Brides. It's a bride. You just glue a bunch of stickers to it. Snickers.

You stick a snicker. Sticker snickers. All right. Fair enough. What does this one say? It's colorful. Is that like, how did you make that? Paper.

Paper. But it's like, what do they call that when people cut out pieces of paper and tape it all together collage and what is it for what movie is it for the carad kid the cara d kid because your name's cara okay that works you guys are the ones who got we didn't get yelled at but you walked in before the audience was let in. Where are you guys from? Fullerton. Fullerton. Okay.

That's a lot of effort. I mean, was the traffic super fucked up because of the rain? It was good. It was good, right? Because the rain kind of tapered off this afternoon. But I think a lot of people are not here right now because they thought it was going to rain all night. This guy's getting a great seat. Last minute great seat. What's your name? Noah. N-O-A-M.

N-O-A-M. Sure. Noam. Alright. Welcome. I'm delighted that your name's not Noah because with the weather outside I would have made lots of Ark jokes. But Noam did not do anything that I know. Or I can't make reference to other than Noam Chomsky but that's not even the right pronunciation. Doug plugs!

Getting Doug with High goes live this Friday, January 8th at 12.15 Pacific Time at youtube.com slash Doug Benson. CineFamily members, be sure to come to the Benson Interruption of Television this Sunday. It's some award show that

people may know about. I don't know. We're going to have a potluck that starts at 3.30. CineFamily.org to become a member. And speaking of Cinefamily, the public can get tickets to my interruption show there this Monday night, which I can't say what the movie is.

But we voted at the last one, and the audience picked a movie, and that's the movie we're going to show. We just couldn't get the rights to show it. So if you heard rumors about what the movie was going to be, those are correct. All of my dates and deets are at douglosmovies.com. That's douglosmovies.com.

Also, be sure to start watching as many movies as you can if you're taking the 366 Movies in 366 Days challenge and I'll track your progress on Doug Loves Minis. Next Doug Loves Movies taping in LA is one week from tonight Tuesday, Jan 12th

right here at Meltdown Comics. You guys ready to check out what's in my prize bag? It's a beautiful 7-Eleven bag that you have to pay an extra dime to get that when you buy items at 7-Eleven. I just did At Midnight. It's Benson Bowl week on At Midnight. So one of the things they gave me for being a guest on the show

is a fancy stainless steel water bottle. Yeah. And I took one look at it. It's the H2Go Force. And I was just like, that is a really neat thing for someone that's not me. We got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. We got some delicious, again, I'm not going to eat these things, so I'm going to give them away. They gave me these at AdMonkey. They're little ding-dongs and ho-hos from Cake Monkey. So it's like fancy ding-dongs and cocos, like red velvet in the inside kind of thing. Maybe some cream cheese, I don't know. A Bonnaroo t-shirt.

Yeah, it's got my name. My name is one of the hundreds of names on the back, so why would I wear that? A copy of Doug Diggs' this movie, The Visitor, starring the great Richard Jenkins, on DVD. A VHS copy of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode called Earshot. And a CD called My Job Sucks

by somebody called Donnie Baker. I don't know who that is, but I hope he quit that job. And I hope you enjoy hearing all of the tracks that are on here. It's a three-CD set. Yeah, he had to quit more than one job, or he has to suck at more than one job, whatever it was.

All of that's in the prize bag, plus the prizes brought by my guests. You can see we've got four chairs here on stage at the Nerd Melt showroom. Please give a big, warm welcome to Jonah Ray, Rory Scovel, Chris Cubis, and Jeff T. Hello. Hey, guys. What's up? Not much. I'm going to do an episode of this podcast.

Whose phone is on? What was that ringing? That was an interesting ring going on there. Hi, guys. Hi, Doug. That's Jonah Ray, everybody. Hello. Hi, guys. Hi, Doug. That's Jonah Ray, everybody. Hi. Who I must begin tonight by apologizing to him

for letting him win yesterday on At Midnight. You did good. It made me feel like a real winner. I know you took it easy on me. Oh. But yeah, I appreciate that. I wanted nothing more than to beat you, and I did not succeed.

You even tried to help me out with that last question. I do. Well, you know, I think if Aziz Danzari gets another white friend that's not Eric Wareheim on Master of None, why not? Jonah Ray or Doug Benson. I think so, but I could play Eric Wareheim's brother. Well, that's true. You probably have more of a Wareheim vibe than I do, but, you know, whatever. You got plenty of shit to do, Jonah.

You didn't really need my help. He's the new host of Mystery Science Theater 3000. What's it called? Are they going to stick with the 3000 or000 or change it to 6,000? No, we're going to stick with the 3,000. It's not twice as good as the old one? No, no. In fact, it'll be half as bad.

But I guarantee you this. I will be the third best host of Mystery Science Theater 3,000. You're definitely in my top four. So, what? Can we expect a similar... I mean, I know it's you and a couple of robots watching movies. And you, are you going to show like public domain movies? Or is it going to be more movies that people have seen before? No, it's going to be the same kind of movies that were shown during the original series.

Just they find super shitty turkeys. Yeah, just, you know, if there was a sci-fi movie made in 1959 in Italy, we'll probably find that and show it. It's just the same kind of weird shit that no one's really seen before. Because with the newer stuff, Riff Trax

does a great job with that, and there's really no need for us to do that. Just the weird movies no one's seen. Yeah, yeah, and then also, I mean, I'm proud to help you practice a little bit yelling at the screen because you participate in my events and movie interruptions all the time. Yes. And, you know, the guests are a secret, but you might be there on Monday. Yes.

Yeah, you might be. Yes. Let's not get crazy. Yeah. And what'd you bring for the prize bag, Jonah? Yes. Yes. Let's not get crazy. Yeah.

And what'd you bring for the prize bag, Jonah? I brought a limited edition poster for this past Fantastic Fest, which is a really awesome film festival. It's a fantastic festival, yes. From the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas. Very cool poster. Really cool poster. And then I also brought, that's pretty cool, huh?

Right? That's nice. Oh, good. And I also brought a shirt that was a prop on a show I'm making right now called Hidden America with Jonah Ray for CISO. And this is from a sketch where Dave Koechner plays a guy that's been running for mayor of Chicago since the 60s and has never once won. And so that's one of the shirts that has been made for him. That's nice. Yeah. That'll be a fun thing to wear around

and have to explain every time somebody... It's the worst in viral marketing. All right. And what's this CISO all about? I just heard about it, I think, for the first time earlier today. Well, Roy can talk about it, too. Matt Besser has a CISO project. Yeah, UCB.

Coming out soon. There's a UCB show on CISO. Wyatt Cenac is going to do a show. Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher are going to have a show. What CISO though? Is it like Hulu or something? It's a new comedy digital platform integration thingy. Yeah, but basically

it's NBC Universal's digital comedy platform and they've acquired a bunch of great British stuff like you can see you know Monty Python. Thank you. Monty Python, Garth Merengue's Dark Place, Nathan Barley, Alan Partridge.

You can see Kids in the Hall of Stars. Do you have to subscribe? Yes. I love that. Rory has Kids in the Hall of Service. Do you have to subscribe? Yes. I love that. Rory has a special. The infomercial delivery. But now how does it work? I'll tell you, Doug. Well, it's an easy, it's a cool $3.99 a week.

I don't know what makes amounts of money cool, but it's a cool $3.99 a month. But now, Jonah, here's my question. If I'm not home to watch CISO, does it still exist? It sure does, R here's my question. If I'm not home to watch CISO, does it still exist? It sure does, Rory. Good question. Entertainment can be sentient if you don't keep an eye on it. Okay. Don't leave an eye on it when you leave the house

because it could easily influence your children and dog. Chris Cubis is here, everybody. I do not have a CISO project, but they came to Austin and did a bunch of market research so they had two people come to my house and ask me questions about comedy because I'm on TV tomorrow

but I really needed $150 so I did the shit out of that they flat out came to us and they were like so what do you like about comedy what don't you like would you watch this thing and then they sent us a screen grab of what the app would look like. A bunch of names. I did not vote for CISO, but there was like a bunch of names to choose from.

Yeah. It was $150. Why is it called CISO? It doesn't make any sense. That's why. But none of the other names were good. They were all like Waggo Waggo. They were all just horseshit names.

Waggo Waggo. How did that lose? How did that lose? Yeah. I think they just thought like, what would a clown sound like if it fell down the stairs? And then they're like, well, we'll just call it that. Yeah. And what did you bring for the prize, man?

Hi. I brought the original motion picture soundtrack of The Mirror Has Two Faces. We should be clear, this is on cassette tape. On cassette. The original motion picture soundtrack of Club Paradise. A lot of Jimmy Cliff on that one. And Dangerous Minds. Hey, all right.

I'll put those over there for you. I think those are in the bag. Those are terrific. Did you spend all your focus group money on those things? That's about $6 worth of prize bags. Were those yours or did you get them on the way? I went to a thrift store. Okay.

I don't still have my cassettes. I wish I did. They'd mostly be because singles. Yeah. so were those yours or did you get them on the way i went to a thrift store okay yeah i didn't still i don't still have my cassettes i wish i did they'd mostly be because singles yeah yeah i love that they had to spend money to go to someone's house in austin to be like do you like wagga wagga as a thing like they didn't they couldn't eliminate that one on their own well they had to find it down to fucking seeed it down to fucking CISO, and I still don't even know how it's spelled or why anyone would call anything that. You guys have shows on it, and you don't even know how to explain it.

Rory Scovel's here, everybody. Yay. Yay. So tell us about your Sosso project. Okay, well. What kind of... What's involved? I got involved specifically because of the name. That's what drew me in. I have a special coming out on Thursday, this Thursday,

the 7th of January. Just now occurring to me. I do not know when people will hear this. So it may already be available to you. It's on CISO TV. Great first take, Rory. Can we do that again? Can we cut that out?

The full name is CISO TV? S-E-E-S-O TV. Wait, it's not dot TV? I do not know. You're sure it's not CISOTV? Cubis is the one that named it. He's the one who voted. I don't have all the information.

It's Will Sasso TV. Just remember, if you see something, say something. Yeah, we're just going door to door. Would you watch squiggly wiggly television or C-SOT-V? It was always a horrible option and then CISO TV. Would you rather watch Fur or CISO TV? I guess the second one. I don't even know.

Jeff, I'm going to need you to take a seat. I don't know why you're standing. And I'm going to get to you in a second. But what did you bring for the prize bag, Rory? Well, I brought a few things here. First off, I have my first CD, Dilation. It's signed, Who Cares, Rory Scovel. And then I have my first CD, Dilation. It's signed, Who Cares? Rory Scovel. And then I have my

vinyl from Third Man Records signed, Not My Best, Rory Scovel. And then Jeff... I was there when he recorded it. He's not wrong. I'm not lying. But the special will be good, honestly. And then Jeff and I went in

together and got a Southern pecan pie for whoever wins. That's so nice. No! $15.95. That's right. Yeah, you guys went all out. I could have gotten like 24 cassette tapes for that. And this is a theme show.

I will be competing with Chris Cubis on At Midnight tomorrow night. And I will be against Rory Scovel on Thursday. Good luck. And Jeff will be watching from home. Jeff Tate is going to check it out on TV. CISO.com. It's not on CISO. It's on a real channel.

It's a wave of television's future, Doug. Okay. Doug, this is what people said about Netflix. And now look at them. Making a murderer, thank you very much. Wait, that was you? I was in making a murderer. I auditioned for making a murderer.

You auditioned for King Kranz? I tried to be King Kranz. Who they cast was very good. It was very good. Fair enough. You do kind of look like the lower half of the face on that DVD cover, honestly. The baby?

The baby? No, the bearded sad half. Oh, not the baby. The bearded sad half. Oh, not the baby. The bearded sad half. So my wife calls me. Well. Why do they let people from Austin choose the names of things? It was a mistake.

They're trying to get real America involved. And Austin texts us. Austin is pretty cool. They should decide the names of everything. They just went to comics, because they went to one comic, and they're like, do you know anybody else who likes comedy? And he's like, no, but I know a bunch of people that need $150. So the whole marketing was just comedians. That's who we're looking for.

Hey, Rory, this part fell out. Do they need this part too? I don't think so. Can I have that back and use it at a later showing? And finally, Jeff Tate is here, everybody! Hello. Hi, thanks for... Four shows in a row Jeff has been on.

Have you been enjoying Jeff's residency on the show? Yeah, it feels 50-50. Seems like they like it. Well, some of them are probably not caught up. Like, you probably haven't heard the last couple episodes, right? Well, I'm not going to spoil it. I might.

I don't remember what happened. Well, you just did. Who in the audience tonight is still not seeing Force Awakens? Oh, just me and that dude. Hey, what's up, brother? How you doing? All right, so it's just that dude and Chris are the reasons why We're not going to say any spoilers tonight

Get out Get out so we can talk If you guys really want to hear us talk about it You know what to do with those people I mean, mob rule Yeah, valid point Let's take a vote I mean, honestly, I don't care. You should see it

tomorrow morning. Yeah. You know what? Go now to the dome. We'll wait here. Come back and tell us what you think. Okay. That works. I'd love to hear all about it. You spoiled it already. Who did what? Bobby Lee said a fake spoiler.

And everybody got mad. Not everybody, but a handful of people got mad and I was like, it wasn't even a real spoiler. Jeff, what do you got for the prize bag? I have the Entertainment Weekly I read on the flight here. Doctor Strange is on the cover. You want me to pass that down?

He'll pass the whole bag down once he's... I have a choco pie that I got. I went with Doug to at midnight tonight. It's like a TV show. You stole that from catering? I got it from catering. Is that the same? Are you involved in the show in any way?

Yeah. A guy came to my house and asked me if they should call it roundabout 12 o'clock. No thanks. And I got Fletch's Fortune, the book, and a Butch Coolidge pop vinyl thing, because that'll be three episodes in a row.

I gave away one of these, because I'm really hoping someone hears it and then gives me a bunch. You want the pop vinyl people to give you a bunch of them? Yeah, and I want them to call me up and ask me what the next round should be, and then I can just start picking who gets pop vinyls made of them

so I can get all of Cheers. You think they'll catch on that that's what you're doing once you say a few of the names from Cheers? Sam Malone. Woody Boy. Oh, it's going to be the characters. Yeah. Wait, what did you think I meant?

This really wants a Shelly Long pop vinyl? Are pop vinyls always characters? They're never a person? Ever? Well, I mean, this is a person. I know, but... It's like a... It's from a movie.

Right. It's like a... See, I'm not the pop vinyl expert or enthusiast that you are. What I'm trying to drive at is they make pop vinyls of celebrities also. Or it's all characters from films. I think it's all characters from films. Anyone in the room can answer this question, just for the sake of helping us to move on. It's all from movies and TV.

They're all pop culture characters. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, they don't just make like a William Henry Harrison. Fine. Why was that my question? Well, trust me, they will not be making...

That was a great question. What do you mean? Trust me, Jeff, they will not be making Sam Malone or Woody Boyd or any of those. Hey, hey, hey! I'm sorry'm sorry i'm sorry it's all right bud i'm sorry i didn't mean to bring you down buddy they'll send you a bunch of free ones now we gave him such good promotion you just said butch coolidge like who's that that's bruce willis from pole fiction that's his name was butch Coolidge? Yeah. I never knew that.

Yeah, I just Butch was the only name they say out loud. Butch. Oh, okay. Yeah, because when you were like, this is Butch Coolidge, I was like, what? Who? Yeah, I got really confused. From Pulp Fiction. Is that why you meant people? Which other characters do they have from Pulp Fiction? The character

Samuel L. Jackson plays. The character John Travolta plays. The gimp. For plays, the character John Travolta plays, the gimp, for real, the gimp. I'm pretty sure there's a Jimmy, because I'm sure that Tarantino was like, make one of me, too. And I don't know. I don't remember.

It'll show it on the back. If you look at the back of that box, it'll show the other one. It's got every single one? It's got the other Pulp Fiction ones. This episode of Douglas Movies brought to you by Pop Vinyl and CISO TV. Almost. Television. Wacky, wacky, wacky TV. Wow.

But you're right. Vincent, Jules, Mia, and Butch all got Pop Vinyls. Fascinating. I would like some free vinyls. Fascinating. I would like some free ones, please. Alright. Mission accomplished. What if he just kept the ones that you're... Yeah, I haven't understood that either.

That he's buying them, giving them away, and hoping to get free ones. And not only to get free ones, but to have them also start a line of cheers once, right? Yeah, oh. We can do this. Like, if you don't, they sell them out front here at Meltdown, and if you don't go out the front door,

they don't think you're stealing it. Interesting. So I'm just stealing the store. You just grabbed it and walked it back here? Yeah, yeah, whoever wins. So whoever wins, it's going to set off the... And that's the gift that keeps on giving. Right? We all get something out of it. Yeah. We're going to watch

someone try to run with a pie. This summer on CISO TV. Running with pies. It's CISO.com too. I googled it. Just so you guys should know that. Yeah.

Sex. Been to the movies lately, Jonah? No. No, I haven't. Chris, moving on. I haven't been to the movies. I've seen movies. What'd you see? My most favorite movie of last year, What We Do in the Shadows.

Best movie of 2015. Pretty damn good movie. Pretty great movie. Very funny. Yes. I enjoy it a lot. Jemaine Clement. And Taika Waititi.

Also, his other movie, Boy. Highly recommend it. Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah. Where'd you see Boy? I think it was on Netflix for a while. It was? Yeah.

Wait. What's this thing that's coming out like the next week called Boy? There's like a horror film starring the girl from Walking Dead. Oh, the boy. That looks real creepy. Yeah.

So you're talking about something called Boy. Yeah, he made it a couple years ago, like after Eagle vs. Shark, but before What We Do in the Shadows. Is it about a boy? No, no, it's not about a boy, but it's about boyhood, but it's not boyhood,

but it's... Boy, oh boy, i can't wait yeah all right yeah what we do in the shadows uh doug digs it jonah loves it chris cubis what was the last thing you saw we know you're star wars deficient i am i just watched uh well i fell asleep during 20 minutes at sicario but it was still pretty good. Wait, you? I watched it, and in like 20 minutes, I fell asleep, and then I woke up, and I didn't, I feel like I got it. How is that possible? That movie is made of adrenaline.

I feel like just a good 20 minutes where they're like, her and that black guy are talking, and I didn't really care about that. Whoa. It didn't matter. Yeah, he didn't matter. He showed up to the gate, and they were like, not you, and then he left. And then they're like, okay, you this time. And he's like, all right, I guess I'll stick around. He didn't really matter. So whatever.

I watched the end. I watched the beginning and the end. And that's fine. And I watched Creed, which I actually really liked. I thought Creed was really good. Cool. Yeah, that's all I saw. A buddy of mine fell asleep during Snowpiercer once.

And he fell asleep in the middle. And he woke up. and he's like, I get it. They went through the rest of the train. I mean, he's not wrong. He's not wrong. What happened? Rory,

what have you seen lately? I saw Trumbo! Oh, Trumbo! You have to say it like that? Trumbo. Oh, Trumbo. Sure. You have to say it like that? Trumbo! Almost what they went with for CISO TV, but they didn't. But I saw Trumbo. I liked it.

I'm not good at watching movies like that. I get bored pretty easily, but I thought it was pretty good. What I liked is that Louis C.K. was in an episode of Louis during the movie Trumbo. I agree with that Louis C.K. was in an episode of Louis during the movie Trumbo. I agree with that. Yeah. Okay.

But I thought it was good. Did you see it? Well, I don't understand what you just said, Jonah. Well, it's like everyone has these affected accents of the time, you know, the 50s. And then it's everyone going like, well, sir, I'm not a communist. And then you get Louis going like, we're not communists. Like, he just. I have one loan. What do we get?

I guess so. I guess that's a. I thought he fit in. I thought he had a good, you know, vibe of the time. Especially because they gave him the outfits. But. But, yeah, it's an interesting movie, just because Trumbo, it's just such a crazy thing

that a guy won Oscars for best screenplay under fake names, and yet some people knew, some people didn't, but it was like, just that that all happened is pretty crazy. I thought it was pretty interesting. It was very educational. I also saw Straight Outta Compton, and that was also very educational.

I didn't know really much about NWA. That was the first time that was also very educational. I didn't know. I didn't know really much about NWA. That was the first time I had anything on it. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't really understand it. And you still don't know all of it. I don't know. They left out some of the... Thank you.

Yeah. I don't want to answer your questions. No, some of this stuff, they're going to do another one with what's going to concentrate more on Suge and on Snoop. Back to Compton. Yeah. Is that really what they're calling it? I don't think so. Right back to Compton.

Here we go again. Miss us, Compton. Back to Compton. Back to Compton. Welcome back. Welcome back, Compton. How many singles... How many singles do they have to make before they show Dr. Dre beating up that lady?

I don't know. As in a director's cut. Those are some of the unanswered questions I was talking about. That's what I was referring to. It was something that didn't get into the movie somehow. Well, not everything makes it in. Yeah. When you produce a movie about your life,

you're going to probably leave out the part where you beat somebody. Yeah. Bill Cosby's making a biopic, and it's just Jell-O related for an hour and 40 minutes. That's why it really focuses on the pudding pops. It is the warmest, fuzziest, sweetest biopic. It just goes up to 2012

and it goes, and everything else after this was fine. And they all lived happily ever after. Hannibal Buress shows up in a post-credit sequence. Trouble's ahead. It's like a Marvel movie. The very last scene just has a title card that says, Hannibal Buress

quits comedy in 2011 and never says anything. I haven't seen anything since the last day of last year. This year I might see no movies. I saw The Hateful Eight.

Yeah. Oh, did I forget to ask you? Yeah. When did you see it? A couple ago oh okay but we you and i have talked about it yeah we've talked about it okay cool um are we not allowed to do that i don't know how is it i don't know i don't know how spoilery we want to go on don't spoil it's pretty fresh i haven't seen it it's fresher than force awakens and we're not gonna spoil i saw the force awakens yes i don't know, man. They were both good.

Thankfully, it was super long. It was great, though. That intermission, I think more movies should have had intermission, no matter how long. I didn't see the one with the intermission. I don't know if I need an extra 12 minutes of standing around with a bunch of strangers. You stand during movies? It's not like you even need... An extra 12?

No, during intermission, you gotta get up. You don't just sit in your goddamn seat staring at the word intermission for 12 minutes. Don't tell me what I do during intermission. I mean, I guess a lot of people go to the bathroom, but I can do a three-hour movie without having to go pee. Or I'll just go pee, because it's a three-hour fucking movie that probably has some boring parts. But how do you know if you haven't seen it yet? How do you know what the boring part's going to be? Yeah.

Shit gets really boring. Yeah, but... And then you run to the bathroom. I mean, you don't leave for an hour and hope that it stayed boring for that long. How long would things stay boring? Tarantino always holds those boring scenes and then something super brutal happens.

It just waits for it, waits for it, and then pow. So it could be like, this is super boring, and then you come super brutal happens okay just like waits for it waits for and then pow all right it could be like this is super boring and then you come back and it's over yeah okay the whole movie got up for the last you can do a Christian Sicario and sleep through any of the first 90 minutes and the back half of the movie will still make sense smart sentient smart, sentient individual. I just wish if it was three hours, I wish I had seen the one with the intermission. I still don't know what the difference between 70mm and digital is. I know the one is film and it looks

different. One's cooler. That's what I hear. Yeah, one's much hipper. Yeah. And the other one's like something George Lucas is into. Oh. White slavery or whatever the fuck it was he's into? No, that's Disney's deal. Oh, okay. People are keeping up with the trades like us, Chris.

They don't know it's Boffo at the box office. White slavers. Boffo.com, that's where my special is going to be out. Is everybody good? Are we good with this Rift Train? Yeah.

I slept in the middle of it. Watch me. If I look at a piece of paper and act like I'm going to move on to the next thing, that's a good time to go ahead and pull into the station

or run to the bathroom. Does a train pull into the station? A train? Yeah. Pull into a station? I don't even understand the question

because it's clearly what trains do when they Pull into a station? I don't even understand the question. Because it's clearly what trains do when they arrive at a station. They pull up to the station. They pull into. They pull in? Yeah, a lot of stations, there's a roof, and they pull in. Ever been to New York City? New York City!

Golly, one day, Mr. Benson. Yeah, not all train platforms are out in the middle of nowhere. Remember that time we went the wrong way on a train for a while? I do. That was a fun day. We went to another town. Why? We shouldn't be the town.

We went to a town where we were supposed to be in Boston. Train stops. We're like, this doesn't look like We put on a show anyway I guess we time traveled Alright, let's do some If you guys can think of any fake Star Wars spoilers If you got any fake Star Wars spoilers

You can go ahead and say them I can only do real ones It's hard to get the real ones out of your head Mine was that Lightsabers double as fleshlights On lonely nights I can only do real ones. It's hard to get the real ones out of your head. Mine was that lightsabers double as fleshlights on lonely nights. That scene where the lightsaber's in the box and you see it in there

and all the nerds start clapping. It looks like a fleshlight. When the lightsaber part isn't out it just looks like you can fuck it. Buck says that about most things, though. You don't know that. It's true. It looks like you can fuck that.

It's true, especially when there's a pie right there. Do you guys have any fake Star Wars spoilers? I know I didn't tell you about this in advance. Well, it's crazy that when you find out Chewbacca's a lady because he has a baby, it's a weird scene. It's a real weird scene. And a fake spoiler. And no one else fucking had one.

No. I had one about Luke fucking something, but I couldn't complete the thought. Luke fucks somebody. Luke fucks somebody. Luke fucks somebody. It's very graphic. It was a five minute spoiler. Yeah, it was a five minute scene. Very graphic.

Oh, I wish I hadn't gone to the bathroom during that. It looked like it was going to be boring. It's pretty incredible. Yeah, it was on Hoth, so it was a snowpiercer. Bang! There's even an app now that for all the, you know, whatever movies are out, will actually lay out for you the best times to take a bathroom break. Like, we'll tell you ahead of time, like an hour in is a good time to go,

and you won't miss anything for whatever the particular movie is. That's the kind of app where if I'm in a movie and I have to go to the bathroom, I forget that I even have that app. Yeah, why would you? Yeah, no. And That's the kind of app where if I'm in a movie and I have to go to the bathroom, I forget that I even have that app. Yeah, why would you? Yeah, no. And what's the app? That's on that like sixth or seventh page

of apps on your phone. It's just like, why do I have so many fucking apps? Why do I have this app for finding other apps? It's ridiculous. All right, I got one serious question

before we get down to the game portion. The game portion of the show. Jonah Ray, answer me honestly. I'm serious. Tell the truth. What's your favorite Will Smith movie? It's Independence Day

tell the truth Chris Cubis what is your it's unfortunate that I listened to the most recent episode on the plane on the way here

but I would say my favorite Will Smith movie is probably Six Degrees of Separation tell the truth! Rory Scovel, do you have a favorite Will Smith film? Independence Day.

Enemy of the State. Tell the truth! Jeff Tate, one more time. Has it changed since the other day? No, it's still concussion. I accept that answer. Let the games begin! Let the games begin!

Gentlemen, there's a handful more name tags than there are you on the stage, so go find one and bring it back to your seat. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. This delightful program is brought to you by Squarespace. Beautiful websites for beautiful beverages like kombuchadog.com. I guess kombucha means black mushroom tea, but it's much more fun to say kombucha. Like chicken chimichanga.

I never really wanted chimichanga, I just like to ask, how's the chicken chimichanga? Hey, thanks, Alec Baldwin. I like Squarespace, too. We've got to get you on the podcast soon. Back to the show. All right, we're back. Great job, you guys. Who do you play for here, Jonah? to the show. All right, we're back. Great job, you guys.

Who do you play for here, Jonah? I'm playing for me and Earl, Andy Dying Girl. Andy Dying. Is your name? Yeah. Andy Dying. And how come no shit on the back?

All right, we'll fix that right now. Fuck. Okay, good. I saw that movie recently. It's a real bummer. You saw it on a plane? I watched it on a plane, which is a bad move, because I cry easily to any movie on a plane. Most notably, Swing Vote with Kevin Costner.

What? Yeah, I was bawling, and a lady looked at me. Is it the altitude? Like, why are you no he's just his daughter cares so much about this country i i was watching uh the warrior on a plane and that uh final uh fight scene when uh when he's like i love you but he's like locked up i am crying but if you can't hear hear him saying that, people think I'm just crying to an ultimate fighting.

Like, oh, look at him! Yeah, with mine, people think I'm just crying to Bull Durham. That guy loves fighting. It's very emotional for him. Chris, who are you playing for? I'm guessing it's Willow. Is your name Willow? I'm playing for Willow, and this is the movie poster of Willow with your face, and then a bunch of Willow Smith Is your name Willow? I'm playing for Willow. And this is the movie poster of Willow with your face

and then a bunch of Willow Smith's face covering all the other characters. That's right. And I got a lollipop beard. A Santa Claus beard lollipop? Yeah. Have respect for this. That's what I think of.

Unnecessary. Yeah. Let's break all the name tags. I don't need you to hand that to me. He gets to keep the thing. His has a shithead on the back, so he's all good. I was just squaring that away for you. And then we got the one I was talking about earlier in the show,

the John of the Dead. And you're a big Snickers fan, Rory? I am drawn to candy. As soon as I saw it, I said, good for this guy. You can pull those right off of there. You can pull these off? You can eat them if you want. I won't, but I can because I did.

Or you can throw them at the audience. Didn't mean to do that. John, would you like one of these? No, he's all right. Fuck you, John. Now I'm going to be bad at movies. at the audience. Didn't mean to do that. John, would you like one of these? No, he's all right. Well, fuck you, John. Now I'm going to be bad at movies. Anybody?

Anybody want a Snickers? Who wants a Snickers? Nobody? Snicker here? Snicker? I love that there's a light. There's a light involved. I think John really

went the extra mile. Clearly, it wasn't a sacrifice to get rid of the Snickers because he fucking hates them. I don't even know what the point of that light on there is. It doesn't relate. It's a joint. It's because you smoke joints, Doug.

I see. The way it's drawn on there, I couldn't tell what was going on. It's a joint. Doug's gone full circle pot smoker. He's forgotten that he smokes pot. Who are you playing for, Jeff? Corey. The hateful Corey.

It's a hateful... As puns go, it's not good. It's just for a racist guy named Corey. That's all that is about. The hateful Corey. Yeah, I thought it was going to be better, too. I saw it from a distance, and I was like, that's the movie I just said.

And then I got it, and I'm disappointed, too. And now we're all caught up. We're all caught up. Corey and the hateful eight. There you go. Okay. We did it. We can actually start the games now.

And we're going to start with a new favorite called Live Die Repeat, a.k.a. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, a.k.a. The Imitation Game. I'll say the title of a movie, and the first person who repeats it back wins. I remember listening to this podcast, and being like, oh, these games are kind of complicated, but I figure if I pay attention and listen enough, I'll understand how the game is played.

And now it's literally just, I say a thing, you say a thing. I try to make it as simple as possible, and still guests get confused. Rory already has a question. I have a question that I think is valid. If we know it before you finish saying it, can we say it?

Yes. That's the idea. That's a good question. You can jump in and say it. That's a good question. John, you heard it. That's a good question. I might have a chance here.

I tend to say some pretty short titles so that your strategy probably won't pay off. CISO TV. Just practicing. I'm ready. First of all, it's CISO.com. Oh, yeah.

I don't know where my special is going to be. And your special is going to be there this Thursday. This will come out tomorrow, so plenty of time for people to check,

to figure out what the fuck CISO is, and to get it, and then watch Rory. Google. And then eventually watch, when's your thing start on there? I think June. Yeah, so you got plenty of time to get your CISO shit together.

So don't muck up the channel, Rory. $3.99 a month, folks. Here we go. Really? It's $3.99 a month. Sounds like a great deal. It's a fantastic. Does it also make Julianne Fries?

It's a bargain. Julianne Fries is one of those British shows they air now. I'm sorry. Okay, ready? Yep. All right. I have to be able to see all of your mouths. The... The I'm leaning in like somehow if I'm closer to him

I'll hear it I am too It's like turning off the radio to park the car Doesn't make any sense but it helps The It doesn't make any sense, but it helps. The. Yeah, the first noise you should be making is the. Yeah, so I'm getting ready to get it out of the way.

It's not like you're making an F sound. No, no, I'm not. The. Revenant. The Revenant. I had the the before any of you motherfuckers that seemed like everybody was at the exact same time

I don't know John what'd you think let's ask the revenant Corey yeah the reva Corey the coronant alright let's try

another one Here we go Look good feel good Room Room I think Chris was the fastest How do you know? I think he was That was pretty quick You want How do you know? I think he was.

You want to do one more? Yeah. Roger Dodger. Roger Dodger! The other three people didn't even try! I didn't know that was a movie! I didn't know that was a movie! It's a good movie.

And it's also a game that I just won. Jonah's our winner. Congratulations, Jonah. You get to go first in this next game. You guys tied and Jonah gets to win. America. Jonah didn't win. He was going to take over a fucking bird sanctuary in Oregon.

I love you. It's just the way. Let me burn my leaves. But Chris gets to go second and then we'll go to you and then we'll go to Jeff and we're gonna play a round of Build a Title

nice yeah it's one that I can only play with the seasoned guests because it confuses the hell out of everybody else

and we're gonna start this Build a Title with a movie that I enjoy a great deal and since it is Benson Bowl week on At Midnight, I decided to go with Midnight Run. So Jonah Ray, you need a movie

to build on this title. You need a movie that ends in midnight or begins with run. Midnight Run, Fat Boy Run. That's interesting. It's like you changed nothing. So, Chris Cubis?

Midnight run, fat boy running scared. Rory. Do I have to remember it from the beginning? You don't, but we can walk you through it. It's Midnight Run. Midnight Run. Fat Boy Run.

Fat Boy Running. Being Scared. Running Scared. So you need something that starts with scared. Scared. Or ends with midnight. So you're probably going to tap out, and we'll move on to Jeff. Scared Straight.

Is that a TV thing? Wow, you really took me quite seriously that you were going to be next. Give me any chance to tell Rory whether he's right or wrong. I think when that happens, you just keep, you flow. You flow through. Well, let's ask John what he thinks.

I can't think of one for scared, so I was really hoping to get that one out so that you would just be like, yeah, it's probably right, and then we could just keep going. So now just start one with Compton. Compton 2, back to Compton. Yeah.

This time we're taking a 110 south. But Jeff, the point I was making is I was telling Rory that he was wrong when you added to the title. Yeah. So... You're out and I am in, that he was wrong when you added to the title. Yeah. So. You're out and I am in, I guess, still. Yeah, that's how it works.

Yeah. Jeff is out and Rory is still in. Back to Jonah. Here we go. Round two. So where are we at? Scared Straight was a televised documentary about teaching children how awful prison is. Yeah.

Idiot. Yeah. But that means Jeff is still in it with the existing title, Midnight Run Fat Boy Running Scared. Waku, waku. No, this is very... Please don't ever whisper that again.

That felt real gross. It just went, Wahoo, wahoo. Rory didn't mind it. Is there a movie called Near Midnight? Oh, there should be. With Tree Williams

in a haunted boat? What? With Tree Williams in a haunted boat? Is that With Treat Williams in a haunted boat? Is that enough detail to believe me? No, no. That detail's made it worse. Yeah, it did. The detail's made it very clear that you're just making something up. Yeah.

So we come back around to Jonah. Permanent midnight run. You're good. You're good at movies, dude. So, Chris, can you come up with something that ends in permanent?

Or perm? Yeah, I'm sure one of the barbershop movies sequels has a perm in it somewhere, but I don't know. Permanent Midnight, permanent. Nope, I got nothing.

I got nothing. Interesting. Rory? I'm still in. Nope. I got nothing. I got nothing. Interesting. Rory? Am I, I'm still in? Nope. Nope. Good. Jeff?

Because I had one. It would have really changed things. No, this one came to a close pretty quickly with Jonah's, our winner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Winning never felt so horrible.

I guess Jonas is our winner. Way to win, jerk. Yeah. I would have gone with like the pay-per-minute midnight. Something like that. The what? What one? Paper.

Remember the paper? The paper midnight. Oh, boy. Yeah. Pay-per-minute night. one one paper remember the paper the paper midnight the paper oh boy yeah pay permanent night do you have one that starts with scared night no i couldn't think of any yeah scared straight so the obvious toilet pops into one's head yeah matt bellowed up in the booth has one Ed TV. He thought he had one. Scare Ed TV.

There is one other. There's an ABC Family Halloween movie called Scaredy Cat. You announced that it's on TV. No, but it's a movie. It was an ABC Family original. We all know where we were when it premiered. So they showed it without commercial breaks.

9-11. I already walked in. That's what they do. It was the night of 9-11. I remember that. Yeah, I remember that. I know where I was that morning. I know where I was that night.

Yeah, running Scare-Ed TV only works if you pronounce the word scared, scared. Scared. I'm so the word scared, scared. Scared. I'm so scared. I'm scared. Do you remember, have you ever seen that? Good evening, Mr. Kubrick. It's a guy that sent a video audition to Stanley Kubrick.

If you look it up online, it's just this guy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and he goes into a model. He goes, good evening, Mr. Kubrick. I am an actor. And you Kubrick I am an actor and you should play in here yeah Juilliard actor and he does this horrible monologue but he goes this is how he says scared and he's like I'm scared yeah he did he did the outsiders yes that's right he was auditioning for 2010 right yes yeah that's a. And he was auditioning for 2010, right? Yes. Yeah. That's a great... Wait, what?

I lost everybody. That guy was so crazy, he thought he should send an audition tape to Stanley Kubrick for a movie he had nothing to do with? Yep. Oh, okay. Because Kubrick took a line of... had videotape auditions from all over the world

for Full Metal Jacket around that time. So you're not sure that that's not that? No, he says to... Oh, no, it probably is. But he says, why are you not directing 2010? That's right. Yeah, there you go.

He brings up 2010. Because he's not directing 2010. That almost made that guy seem way crazier. Yeah, like, oh, I want to be in 2010, so I'm going to send you this video of me doing a monologue from The Outsiders. Yeah. But no, they had a kind of an open audition

because I sent in a tape. Did you? To Stanley Kubrick. Do you have that tape? No. Doug, you've seen it. He said, that's the truth! Of course I recorded it, took it out of the VCR, you know, took it out of the thing, put it in a package and mailed it to Stanley Kubrick.

Like I didn't make a copy. Do you remember what you did? Yeah, he said, I'm scared, Doug. Oh, God, what if it was Doug? What if that video you guys are talking about is Doug? That was you. Let's try to track down that audition. It wasn't me.

I didn't say that thing. Say I was scared. Just say I was scared, and then if it doesn't sound the same, we'll move on. I'm not going to justify it. Just say the line. I'm not going to. Say the line, Doug. It's like if you say the line the way you would normally say the line which is apparently nothing like that guy. I was

scared! It is you! I knew it! Let's play Last Man Stanton. Yes! Let's play Last Man Stanton. Yes. Who did we decide won that? Jonah? Yes. Jonah won that one.

All right. So we'll switch the order around, and Jonah will go first on the Last Man Stanton, and then we'll go to Jeff. Or no, I'll jump in. Then Jeff, Rory, Chris, and a gentleman in the audience tweeted at me today. Several people did, but this is the one I stumbled across. John Layton 187. Are you here?

Hey, there you are. John. Cool screen name, man. It's the guy with the name tag I picked. That's great. Fucking Christ, that's so crazy. Now, why John Layton 187? Because you've murdered someone?

Or you're a big fan of that movie? A couple of cops. Oh, you're a cop? No, no, I murdered a couple of cops. You murdered some cops. Well, John, I'm up here trying to win for you. Maybe you should take the pie. Do you think anyone didn't

go see Hateful Eight because of that thing where the American LA cops were saying don't go? I bet you it didn't change anybody's... That's what motivated John to kill cops. Because everyone sees it. That's not right. That's terrible. That's why I went to see it. I wasn't going to see it.

As soon as you heard the cops were against it, you're like, I'm in. I like to not do what cops say when they can't murder me for doing that you and me both brother look at us laughing at this horrible thing it's really great in our country yeah good for him can we switch name tags i'm like you didn't like your beard from the start. You threw it on the ground.

Looks tasty. White chocolate. John wrote to me... Saying that angrily just really makes me laugh. White chocolate. It does taste a little bit better. It's a little better. That means serious. It costs 30% more.

So John is going to suggest a name for Last Man Stanton. And then we're going to do it no matter what he says. So John, give us a good one. Fuck. Jean-Claude Van Damme. Jean-Claude Van Damme. I'm into it. Fuck you, dude.

Oh, shit. I feel like me and Jeff are going to rock this one. I don't know. No? I don't know. Jeff might be a little bit before his time. Seems unlikely. Oh, okay.

Well, fuck you guys. I got this on lock. Yeah, I think you might. I have a lot of confidence right now. I cannot compete with that. Jonah's probably got a few kicking around. Jonah, what do you got? Are you starting with Jonah or are you starting with Jeff?

I'm sorry, where did I say I'm starting? I said I'm starting with Jonah. I thought you said we're going to switch it up. We are. The order. Yeah. Oh, there to here. Jonah's going first, then me, then Jeff. Oh, so I'm still third. Got it. Okay. Alright. JCVD.-C-V-D. Cut.

What? J-C-V-D. Wait, I'm just still writing down Jean-Claude Van Damme. You can put J-C-V-D in. That's what it stands for. I like to write it all out. All right. Okay.

You went J-V-C-D? J-C-V-D. J-D-C-V-D. J-V-C-V-D. J-D-C-V-D. C-C-V-D. J-D-C-V-D. C-D-C-V-D.

You're going J-D-C-V-D. C-C-T-V. D-V-com. You're going JV, CV, CCTV. JCDV.org. GKT. I'm going to go with Hard Target. Because little known fact, he has an erection through the entire film. It's not because he's difficult to shoot.

It's because he's running around with a boner in New Orleans. Who, what'd you say, Chris? It's not, it's Jeff's turn. What? It's my turn. It goes you, you, Jeff. Oh, yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

Time Cop. Ooh. Yeah. Okay, now it's Rory's turn. Is Bloodsport one of them? It is. Okay, cool it's Rory's turn. Is Bloodsport one of them? It is. Okay, cool. Kickboxer.

Okay. Cool, cool. Street Fighter. Holy shit, Jonah. Cool, cool, cool. Shit. shit I think I might be out already I know it's sad he's made so many great films

I think I've seen every one of these almost once. I don't want to give you guys any clues by saying too much about the ones I'm trying to think of, but I'll just say double trouble. Nope. Absolutely not. It's not? Okay.

There's a double kicking around. Hey, don't say anything. Let's just continue the game. Okay, hot moment here. This is hot. A hot moment happening. Let's just continue. I'm out. Jeff?

Sudden death. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, I should have thought of that one with the hockey arena. Yep. What was your double guess? Die hard in a hockey arena. What? He said double trouble. Yep. What was your double guess? Die hard in a hockey arena. He said double trouble.

Oh, that was a Mary Kay and Ashley Olsen movie. And Jean-Claude Van Damme. It was a weird casting move. I thought that was the third Olsen twin. Wasn't that Orlando Jones and Eddie Griffin? Why are you looking at me when you ask that question? Answer him, Cubis! You're a big Orlando Jones fan. I am. People know that about me you love seven up i'm not this right um fuck he was

i'm gonna go with and call me crazy if you want to i was gonna go with blood sport two incorrect oh yeah well maybe that's they made but i've gotten in some people i mean just look at this guy's list of movies. He's not the kind of guy that makes sequels. He just makes the same movie and gives it a different name. That's a good point. Lionheart. I would never have come up with that one.

Jonah. Double Impact. Yes, that's what it was. He was so excited for me when I said that. Double impact. All right. Jeff. Predator.

Nope. He's the predator. No, like a seven foot tall black dude is the predator. That's 100% true. He's dead now. No, that's racist. It was Jean-Claude Van Damme. Rory?

I am out. Also out. Definitely already out. Death warrant. Death warrant. Correct. He has to go undercover in a prison, fight a dude. You're right.

He does make the scene. There's always a dude. You're right, he does make the scene. There's always a fight. First scene, he opens his door in his underwear and the guy goes, here's your warrant. And then he looks at it and the camera goes in and that's the opening title, Death Warrant. And then the fun starts from there. To his boner.

Jonah's thinking real hard. It hurts. Yeah. I think Chris is going to take this one down. I think so. Unless he's in Expendables 2. I think that's true. Is that correct? He's in one of them. 2 seems like when he'd jump on.

Yeah, nailed it. That's what was going through my brain like when he'd jump on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nailed it. That's what was going through my brain. And they don't have any subtitles on the Expendables. It's for sure, too, because I think

Mel Gibson was the bad guy in three. Yeah. All right. Universal Soldier. Ah, fuck! Fuck! No more, Jonah?

Robot jocks? No. He's in a movie called Replicant where he plays clones and one of them is kind of retarded. It's one of the greatest movies I've ever seen. Oh, multiplicity. That's interesting that he would finally find a role that's only kind of retarded.

What else has he been in, Chris? Maximum Risk, Universal Soldier... Two? No, three. Three? He comes back in three. Did that one have a subtitle? Yeah, it did, and I can't remember what it is, that's why I didn't say it.

Okay. And then like a bunch of horseshit I don't remember. I ran out of titles. Predator 2? Stop saying that. Cyborg. A guy died making that movie. Good work. Cyborg. A guy died on the set of that movie and said What do you know all, everything? If you don't get the fucking JCVD

monthly newsletter, that's your fault. I'm studied up. Think of the conspiracy had you picked John Sting and he and you know all of them. Studied up. Think of the conspiracy had you picked John Stagg. And he... And you know all of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, wait, something's going on.

Something would have been fishy if something fishy had happened. That's right. Anybody else? Super fish. Imagine if people were doing something underhanded. It would be so underhanded. That's right. Is Cyborg the only one?

Did anybody else in the audience have one? Welcome to the jungle. Oh, yeah. It just came out, man. JCBD. That was the first one. That was the first one out of the game. No one listens to me.

That often happens. That was John. It often happens by the end of the game. Somebody in the audience yells out one of the first ones we said because it's hard to remember. That was John. He's the one who gave us the name. John.

Claude? Dan? Double team? We didn't say double team. Yeah, with Dennis Rodman. I was also thinking that's what I was talking about. Oh, what's the one with fucking Rob Snyder? Surf Ninjas. Nope.

Good toss in. There's one with Rob Snyder. Deuce Bigelow. Good. Good toss in. There's one with Rob Schneider where they're like Judge Dredd. Demolition Dredd. Deuce Bigelow, European Gigolo. Yep.

There's one with Rob Schneider. That's all. I got nothing else. There's no riff on that. I gotta tell you, I find it very satisfying that a room full of people that would come to

a Doug Lowe's movie saving aren't yelling out Jean-Claude Van Damme titles right now. True. Because he doesn't count, I don't think. No, he's making shit up. right now. Because he doesn't count, I don't think. No, he's J.C.V.D. He doesn't have any place in cinema history.

J.C.V.D. Just because your audition tape to Kubrick went unnoticed. You gotta bring Jean down. He said it's tape to Kubrick because he really wanted to get into Bloodsport. He just didn't know what movie he directed. Why aren't you directing blood sport?

I should just say that I almost got into a fight with Jean-Claude Van Damme once in a bar. Hot scoop. And I prevailed. I was the winner. He backed down.

And so, you know. Well, he probably had to back down. He's like, he's a lethal weapon. Yeah. No, he said. I'm a lethal weapon.

He said, have you ever seen Con Air? Can I say what he said... I'm a lethal weapon. He said... He says, have you ever seen Con Air? Can I say what he said? I got a great thing that he actually said. Make the next game guess which... The next game is guess which... Start with Jeff. Speculation went into hour three of what John Codd Van Damme said.

What did John Codd Van Damme say to me when I said, all right, dude, let's go right now? I'm scared. I think he said I will, if I fight, I go all the way, bro. If we start this, I finish it.

He fights you. That's closer. If he fights Doug, he's gonna fuck him? Yeah, I think that's what he's suggesting. That's how fights work. He didn't say anything. He just did the splits on two bar stools. That is the most impressive thing he's ever done. He didn't say anything. He just got an erection.

Had. He already had that, Jonah. If I was closest, can I have maybe a point? I'm trying to get John back in there. Get that pie. No, you still have a shot at winning for him. Fuck yes. Yeah, yeah.

He's still in this. He said. Why, you still have a shot at winning for him. Fuck yes. Yeah, yeah. He's still in this. He said... Why would you like my ring? It's time for the big reveal. Why am I the asshole for... I don't know why you're still talking. I don't know what's happening over there. I'm about to say the thing he said to me

after asking each one of you. You each got a turn. And then I'm going to say the answer. But now I don't even want to say it. No! Yeah, I'm going to honestly... I'm going to tell you, I'm not going to say the answer. But now I don't even want to say it. No, don't! Yeah, I'm going to honestly, I'm going to tell you, I'm not going to say it. Maybe for the rest of my life I won't tell anybody

what Jean-Claude Van Damme said to me. I kind of like that now it's more interesting than you don't know. I got to like never revealing it. Yeah, yeah. I think you forgot it during that whole time. I think, yeah, my mind went places. Let's play reverse malting, you guys.

Now this is tricky, so good luck. I am not going to participate in this one after you're shitting the bed on that. I mean, I can't participate in this even if I wanted to. Is that what he said? Yes, I said, let's fight. He said, I can't participate in this even if I wanted to. Is that what he said? Yes, I said, let's fight. He said, I can't participate in this even if I wanted to. All right, so who do we say won that last thing?

This guy. Chris. Chris, yay. And what order are we going in? We're going this way? We were going that way. So, yeah, come right back at you, Rory. Thank you. Yeah.

In Reverse Malton, Chris Cubis gets to pick between three movie titles, and he gets to decide which one we're going to play. And he's going to pick the one he knows the most actors from, or it could be some strategery happening, where he picks one where he only knows like one actor and then fucks over the guy sitting next to him.

Would you like, Chris, 12 Angry Men or All the King's Men or Monuments Men? The last movie Leonard ever reviewed on his app. Oh, boy.

Let's go. 12 Angry Men. Okay. Leonard lists. Let's see if he lists 12 names. I would hope he lists at least 12 names. 12 names. He just lists 12 names straight up.

How many can you name? I can name two names. Well, that's interesting. Rory. Twelve Angry Men from 1957. Brilliant film, according to Leonard. I would say

that you have a beautiful gaze name those names George C. Scott Jack Lemmon wait what just happened I said name it and I think are in that movie

I might be wrong but I'm pretty sure. Yeah, neither one of those people is in this one. No? Are you sure? I'm thinking of the HBO remake from like the... From like 1990. I was like, I got two, no doubt. I know these two.

I got this. Amy Schumer. Nick DiPaolo. Oh, wow. I'm sorry, Rory. I was real angry. Top billing. Amy Schumer. Nick DiPaolo. Oh, wow. I'm sorry, Willow. I really thought I had that. I was about to say it with a finger in Rory's face, like, George D. Scott. You almost bluffed without even knowing it.

Yeah, it was remade for TV in 1997. That's what I'm thinking of. Candlefini. Wow. Who was it then? It started as a television play, then became a movie, then became a TV show. Who's the? Henry Fonda, Lee J. Cobb, Ed Begley, not Junior.

Sure. E.G. Marshall, Jack Klugman, Jack Warden, Martin Balsam. All pretty famous actors. Sure. So when he said 1957, that didn't tip you off? Didn't do shit. Didn't do a thing in my head. You're not affected by it at all.

No, I was fucking, once I think I know a thing, no more input. I'm like every Republican voter. John Claw. Boom. Politics. Slam. All right, Rory has a point. Fuck yes.

God, that feels good. Donut, though? Donut? Next round, we start with Jonah and head towards Jeff. And Jonah gets to pick between these three movies. Fried Green Tomatoes, A Clockwork Orange, or... You want to guess what the third one's going to be? No.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape? I'll go with What's Eating Gilbert Grape. All right. Leonard lists a lot of names. He's got six, eight, ten, eleven names. I can do... How many people can you name from What's Eating Gilbert Grape? I can do...

One of the best movies with rape in the title. Yes. Oh, God. Shit, I'm blanking on one person's name who I really enjoy. I can do four. Four names, Jeff. Name those names. All right.

Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, John C. Reilly, Mary Steenburgen. Correct. There you go. Julia Lewis. Julia Lewis, George McFly. I'm blanking on that. Crispin Glover. Crispin Glover.

Fuck. Yeah. All right. So Jonah's on the board. What? Jonah got aver. Fuck. Yeah. All right. So Jonah's on the board. What? Jonah got a point. Yeah. Yeah.

I said Jonah's on the board and you went like. No, I was just like. I am? No, I was like. I was like, cool. And then, of course, the audience clapped even less than last time. I won a round. I don't know why people hate me so much.

Jonah. All right. So Jonah has a right, so Jonah has a point, and Rory has a point, and Jeff just challenged Jonah, so we start with Chris and go to Rory. And Chris, would you like... Please guess the same two names, no matter what the movie. It doesn't matter. The Predator, Jack Lemmon, George C. Scott.

George C. Scott played the Predator. Predator versus Alien. You matter. The Predator? Jack Lemmon. George C. Scott. George C. Scott played the Predator. Predator versus Alien. You heard him say Predator versus Alien. What's happening? All right. Pick between these three.

Would you like... Just three Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. Just give me three Jean-Claude Van Damme movies. I wish I could do that. I could name one person in any of them. You can name two if it's double impact.

Let's go with Tightrope, A Few Good Men, or Robin Hood, Men in Tights. Yeah, full circle there in those titles. Got a lot of rope and a lot of men. And some tights. I am going to say a few good men. Okay, from 1992 and Leonard Liss.

14 names. What year was that? 92. 14 names. Okay. I'm going to say... Oh, I'm... Three names.

He says three names Rory Do you have to name the names in order? No Thank fucking god You just have to pull out More names than three if you want a bid higher I am gonna go

Five Names Five out of 14 names. Oh my God. I have a feeling I know what Jeff's gonna do, but... I'm gonna say six. Oh, I did not feel that.

I did not feel that at all. Jonah. Jeff, we're gonna need you to name names. Yeah, and if you do not succeed, Jonah will be our winner. Okay. It's also a Trumbo reference right now. Give us those six names.

Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, Kevin Bacon, Kevin Pollak, Kiefer Sutherland, and Jack Nicholson. That is correct. There you go. Well done. Well done. Well done. We just met tonight, Jeff. And you fucked me.

And you fucked me. Like, fuck me, Jeff. It's called a one-night stand, Jonah. Oh, God. A lot of hot moments happening here. A lot of hot moments happening here. A lot of hot moments. All right. So that means that we're going to start with Rory and go to Chris.

It's anybody's game at this point. Yeah, it's me. Trying to add some drama. It's me. It's so trying to make hot moments, Rory. I just want to be in a hot moment. There's never had a hot moment. No one listening knows, has any

idea what's happening right now. For the listeners, Rory was banging his chair needlessly against the back wall and then that's what we've been talking about for the last two minutes for no reason. Yeah, it's called a hot moment. At least you got your hot moment.

Hot moment. That might be a good name for your next album. See So TV. All right. This is the one, man. This is Chris's chance to get in here.

That's what I said, right? That Chris is going to go first? Me. All right, Rory. Men, men, men, men, men, men. Okay. Were you just singing the theme song from Two and a Half Men?

Yes. That's how I prepare for everything. I thought you might be. Which one of these, Rory, do you know the most actors from? The Matrix The Matrix Reloaded Or Matrix Revolutions

Fuck Fuck me I'll do The Matrix Okay Leonard only lists Fuck me. I'll do the Matrix. Okay. Leonard only lists seven names. Whoever they are. From the 1999 Matrix.

How many do you think you could come up with? I was going to say ten, but if he's only listing seven. I'm going to do... I think I'm gonna go two names sure he says two names Chris I feel like he's probably got those

or do I I don't even know what the matrix is I don't even watch movies that's a pretty good bluff you got a real poker face that bad at bluffing I'll go

I'll go four names what's Jonah gonna do would Shundus go Jeff huh he goes to you bluffing. I'll go four names. What's Jonah going to do? Huh? What a hot moment it could have been. I don't know any more than that. Yeah, so this is going to be terrific because if Chris

can name four names, then we're going to have a four-way tie. Yeah, we're going to have a Jean-way tie. Yeah, we're going to have a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie. Keanu Reeves, Carrie Ann Moss, Laurence Fishburne, and I just had it. You were weaving.

Yes! And don't forget Joey Pants. Joey Pants. I wasn't sure if he showed up in the second one or not. Joe Pantoliano. No, he's like in the first Matrix. He's the reason that he forces Keanu to be up in the second one or not. Joe Pantoliano. No, he's in the first Matrix. He's the reason that he forces Keanu to be stuck in the Matrix. What? Some people might not have seen it.

It's been out for two weeks, Rory. How's, when does it, okay. So we got ourselves a four-way tie, which I'm very excited about that. And Tiebreaker is a movie that I've selected in advance. Nobody gets to pick, but we do have to figure out who starts us off. Who challenged who on that last one? I challenged Chris. Jonah challenged me.

Okay, so we start with Jeff and go to Rory. And here is the movie. It's going to surprise me as well. Oh, from 1977? Star Wars, Episode 4, A New Hope. Choo, choo, choo. Hot moment.

Leonard Liss. Wagyu, wagyu. Eight names. Hot moment. Eight names Hot, hot moment Eight names, Jeff Six Whoa That's the end of that

Yeah Dad, really Say seven more Dad is quite a bit I'll give you a mustache lollipop If you say seven names Well Never had that kind of an offer.

I've never tried that sexual position. The old mustache lollipop. Trust me. It's one for the books. Sounds like a guy that hasn't tried many sexual positions at all. Mustache lollipop. mustache lollipop I don't know if Jeff knows six

I feel like he's playing hardball here with Jean-Claude Van Damme I mean it is Star Wars Rory what does that mean it means I don't know why you wouldn't know six people from Star Wars

I don't know fucking two people't know six people from Star Wars. I don't know fucking two people. Oh, shit. Yeah. You're so cool, Rory. I don't give a fuck about Star Wars. Holy shit. This is hot. You finally got your hot moment.

Here's the deal. Here's the deal. If I say seven, then it's going to go to you. And I just get a point. That's what's got it. But if I challenge him, I have a chance. Sure. You do, yeah.

And you should. I'm going to challenge him. You should fight hard for John out in the audience. He's killed all those cops. All right, Jeff. Jeff, name those six names. All right, Jeff. Any six from the eight-letter list.

So it's a little treacherous. I know I meant to say that. Nope. Slightly Rocky Waters. Mark Hamill. Nope. Nope. You get the first one wrong? George C. Scott.

Jack Levin. Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Alec Guinness, Peter Cushing, and James Earl Jones. Is. Rory, what do you think? I don't think that's correct. Why? Because I think someone has a different name. I think someone also...

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Is it an uncredited thing? It's an honest mistake. If it is, I don't mind. No, it isn't! No, it's not! It's not okay! It's not like I said, Billy D. Williams or like really fucked it up. I mean,

everyone I said is in the movie and probably should be billed. We also didn't think you threw it on purpose. It was an honest mistake. I don't think it was. I think there's something going on here. Imagine if it was, that'd be pretty fishy. You're playing for Star Corey. Star Corey, you do Corey.

It almost works. Are you implying that the name of the actor who plays Darth Vader should be the guy in the suit rather than the guy whose voice it is? Me? Am I implying that? No, but now that you're bringing that up, sure. What were you thinking you could have gotten wrong with those things he said? Do you say Alec Guinness or by then was he

Sir Alec Guinness and that has to be his title? I wouldn't force... I will do anything to win. I wouldn't... You've seen my performance. Rory isn't here to make friends. I don't recognize the Sir.

I don't recognize whether people have been knighted or not. Oh, that's like saying you don't care about the the in titles. Sir is very important. Full title. He's right. Sir Alec Guinness.

National Lampoon, Sir Alec Guinness. Thank you. So let's clarify. Jeff wants to change his answer and I'm going for very specifically what Leonard has written. You want to change your answer to Sir Alec Guinness. Oh shit. You seem to be

leading him in a certain way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It looks like you're leading the witches here. Is it Jeff Bull? No, Jeff already said it. Maybe he wasn't knighted at that point. I mean, I don't give a fuck. All I do is mime cigarettes, bro.

That's true. I wish the listeners knew how many mime cigarettes you've gone through. I've gone through three packs this whole podcast. The entire time. Two cigars while cigarettes are happening. You also did one of those old timey pictures with a ton of cigarettes in your mouth.

Jeff Tate is our winner! The other two names you missed were the you didn't mention because you didn't have to are the robots, Anthony Daniels and Kenny Baker. Peter Mayhew doesn't make the cut for being inside the Darth Vader costume. Or David Prowse.

I mean David Prowse. Peter Mayhew's in Chewbacca. Right. Which he gives a performance. The guy in Darth Vader just goes... He just sort of does pretty generic motions. But Chewbacca has a lot of emotional... I'm not going to spoil it.

Don't spoil! You can see really well when he dies. He did a spoiler on At Midnight last night. I told everybody that Chewbacca dies in Episode 7. Did it make the cut? Yeah, they beeped it out. What? Yeah, they beeped it.

That is the nerdiest thing I've ever heard. Good for them. Thanks, by the way. That is so... That's worse. Yeah. They beep out the name, so you're like, oh, who died?

Well, it was pretty bad that he did that. Pretty badass. Yeah. Oh, all right. Maybe they beeped out dies. It is just Chewbacca beep. So, hateful... What was his name?

Hateful Corey. Come and name? Hateful Corey. Come and get your prizes. Corey. Hateful Corey. Got that motherfucking pie. Southern pecan. Pretty good. Don't be afraid to share that.

Eat the pie in front of us, Corey. Stay on stage until the pie is gone. Oh, you forgot the beard. Oh yeah, Gabriel. That's not part of it. That came with the name tag I got. Oh, it should go to Corey.

Let me see it. Just throw it at Corey as hard as you can let me try to get it in the bag I'd fool I missed Jonah Ray let's do some end of show plugs this year I'll look forward to a third season

of The Meltdown with Jonah Kumail on Comedy Central on CISO I'll be doing to a third season of The Meltdown with Jonah Kumail and Comedy Central. Yeehaw! On CISO, I'll be doing Hidden America with Jonah Ray. And then there will also be, towards the end of the year, Mystery Science Theater 3000. Woo! Yay! Chris Cubis.

Check out my podcast, Canceled. Me and a guest watch TV shows that only lasted one season. We're in the middle of Cowboy Bebopop and I think we're doing Eerie Indiana next. Nice, that's a good one. You should get Joe Dante. I'll just do that, Jonah. I'll just get Joe Dante. Thank you very much.

I see him watching movies by himself on the reg. I think you can get Joe Dante. And then I'm at SF Sketch Fest the 22nd and 23rd and Riot LA the weekend of the 31st.

So come to that. Nice. I'm going to be on At Midnight tomorrow. I mean, we're taping tomorrow. Thursday. At Midnight on Thursday with Doug and I'm going to be on Conan on Thursday and also my special comes out

on Thursday. Starting to see a theme here. Special comes out on Thursday on CISO. Rory's going to kill himself on Friday. Friday. I did all I said I'd ever wanted to do. You put everything in order. That's your moment.

That's your hot moment. To be on CISO. That's how a hot moment happens? Okay. I'll do it. I'll do it. My pact with this audience is I'll kill myself on Friday.

His blood is on your hands. Jeff, what are you doing Saturday? I mean, besides Rory's funeral. That's quick. Go bananas on him. We already know he's killing himself Friday. Let's start planning all of it. The funeral's also Friday.

I'm going to kill myself at the funeral. I'm just going to get into the box and then shoot you head off. I love consolidating events. Death at a Funeral. Yet another remake of that movie. Jeff, what do you got coming up? Justanotherclown.com is my website. Lots of tour dates and whatever.

JeffTate96 on Twitter. And speakersilence.org if you want to help out a good cause. That's it. But what's happening? Nope. Fucking Saturday. We're all done. Yeah, we're all done.

I'm all done. Jeffrey? I'll probably, I'll be at Go Bananas in Cincinnati. Hanging out? No, I'm doing stand-up. I already plugged

all this shit the last, this whole show, bro. You gotta keep on plugging, man. Keep on, man. I'm plugging, dude. Plug, plug, plug. Dude, goddamn plug. You know You gotta keep on plugging man. Keep on plugging dude. Plug a plug a plug. You know how we get on that midnight overtime? We plug. Oh my god.

Every time I do it you yell at me for how long my plugs take. I yell at you because when I try to move on you still have more plugs. I tried to move on. And today I'm like making sure you've set all your plugs and you haven't. You left some out.

What did I leave out? You just said that you were, you're going to be in Cincinnati on Saturday. Yeah, but it'll be the fourth time the listeners have heard that. Not necessarily. People don't just listen to every goddamn episode. No bananas.

I made up my plugs. I don't even do stand up, you fucking asshole. I'm on at midnight all week when Chris starts to say my plugs at the beginning. I say, no, Chris! People have heard it all before! Never speak of me or what I'm doing again!

I got one more plug. I'm at the comedy store in like ten minutes, so I gotta dip. Chris has gotta go. Thank you, Chris Cubis. Bye! And Jeff, are you riding with him? So Jeff has to go. Thank you, Chris Cubis. Bye. And Jeff, aren't you riding with him? So Jeff has to go. Jeff Tate, everybody.

Giving out hugs on his way out. Except for Jonah. Nobody likes Jonah Ray. Sorry. Our jackets are so similar. Yeah, you guys really look like... We don't have anywhere to go. Can we just stay?

Yeah, you can hang out. I'm just going to read the shitheads in a second. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, I just have nothing in my life. I don't mind you hanging out. Okay, I'm going to sit. It's just weird that you don't have anything you need to do.

I mean, don't you have a funeral arrangements to make? I've had that ready for years. Do you have affairs to get in order? No, I've got it all covered. I knew this was happening. Oh, I see. It's a joint. I am going to leave. I'm going to leave on that.

I can't tolerate that. What just happened? She threw her credit cards at you. Why did you do that? She just happened? She threw her credit cards at you. Why did you do that? She just suddenly dropped a bunch of credit cards? Okay. See you guys later. As always, cop killers are a shithead.

The person sitting next to me is a shithead. That was on this one. People who stare at me in my parked car are a shithead. And people who don't like Star Wars are a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess

makes him foggy. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies. Once again, today's episode is brought to you by Colony from Carlton Cuse,

executive producer of Lost. It's USA Network's new original series, Once again today's episode is brought to you by Colony from Carlton Cuse, executive producer of Lost. It's USA Network's new original series, Colony, starring Josh Holloway of Lost and Sarah Wayne Callies of The Walking Dead. Imagine an occupied world where everyone must choose a side. If your city was no longer your own, who would you trust with your life, where would you run, and what would you risk to save the ones you love? Colony, a new original series, Thursday, January 14th at 10, 9 central, only on USA Network.