Doug Loves Movies - Jonah Ray, Dan Van Kirk and Jeff Garlin guest

Episode Date: August 19, 2019

Live from Flappers in Burbank, Doug welcomes Jonah Ray, Dan Van Kirk and Jeff Garlin to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody My name is Doug and and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you once again from Flappers in Burbank, California.

Right now I'm just doing my traditional rearranging of the stage. It's something I like to do here at Flappers, Traditional rearranging of the stage. It's something I like to do here at Flappers, because they like to, you know, put things up here that I didn't expect. As you can see, we've got some water drinkers on the panel tonight, so there's plenty for them.

But also, I like this table to be on the other side of this chair, so that my guests can't see the answers to the questions so I'm doing it myself you guys it's Saturday August 17th 2019 and I just need to see three or more name tags one oh you guys have two right there three boom we're good we've got enough name tags. Yeah. Let me get my script out of the bag and see what I have to say today. It's a surprise to myself sometimes. Oh, dugouts.

Dugout to everyone who attended the first ever Doug Benson Film Festival at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas. Especially Caitlin, who did not want to watch A Return of the Living Dead Part II, but watched it anyway. Because we surprised everybody.

We let them vote on which movie we were going to watch, and she wanted the vote to go another way, but she didn't leave. And also it dug out to our friends Bob Scratch, Goldfarb, and Dana Gould, who got into a car accident out there on the road, but they are fine. Don't panic, Chelsea. Just some broken ribs, but our thoughts are with them nonetheless. Let's look at the prize bag.

I brought some stuff. I think you might like some of it. Other things, probably just throw out. For instance, a copy of Houston Magazine. I don't know if you'll read that, but there it is in the bag. A shirt from Baked Brothers in

Tucson, Arizona. They gave me some shirts, so I'll give away some more of those. A Traverse City Film Festival hat. Some kettle chips. Avocado, oil, chili chili lime with circus infused, citrus infused, and then a game, this is hot off the presses, a new game, some sort of card game, I should learn more about it before giving one away, but it's called Unruly Bastards.

about it before giving one away, but it's called Unruly Bastards. Yeah, so that sounds intense. Get that wherever games are sold, I guess. All of that, plus stuff brought by three regular guests who you know and love.

Please, everybody, give it up for Jeff Garland, Jonah Ray, and Dan Van Kirk! Thank you! for Jeff Garland, Jonah Ray, and Dan Van Kirk. Come on up here, guys. They're on their way. Here they are. Parking is difficult in Burbank.

So is paying attention to when you're going to be introduced. It's hot out here, so people's heads get anywhere you like. Have a seat. Okay, tell the story on a microphone, please. No, you do. This is a podcast. But you're right.

Everyone that's in the room can hear you. I'm backstage with these fuckers. He's backstage with these fuckers. I'm backstage and I'm saying, they're ready for us, they're ready for us. And they're going, no, they're not. I go, let's go, come on. So that's all I'm saying to you, these fuckers. If anyone's ever heard you talk,

they know you're lying. That's the most bullshit thing. We were listening to you yammer on about who's a star in this town. That's right. I was. You guys know. You know who is.

Is my mic up? Yeah. Okay. We were discussing who was an actual movie star. Yeah. I mean, it's a... Oh, yeah, you were there for the beginning of the conversation. Yeah, people who listen to the show and attend it know that the guests tend

to all just start talking to each other backstage and not know they've been introduced. And then I awkwardly wait for everybody to come out. And then we don't edit that part out, because, you know, it's interesting. Sometimes you go a bit long in the intro, though. You never know, but it's usually not too long. You know I can't wait to see you up here.

Yeah. That's Jonah Ray, everybody! Hi. Dude, you have so many interesting things going on all the time. Whenever I catch your social media... My social medias? Your social medias are all about, lately I've been seeing something about

Weird Al Yankovic. Yeah, I did an EP where I took Weird Al lyrics and just made my own songs with them. For an EP I call You Can't Call Me Al. I got a lot of free time. My career... By the way, that is awesome.

Thank you. And Weird Al approved? He approved it. He mail ordered My career. By the way, that is awesome. Thank you. That is awesome. Yeah, and Weird Al approved? He approved it. He mail ordered the record. We had to send it to him. He's the best dude ever. He's the best dude.

He's the best dude ever. On my birthday this year, he sent me an email. He said, I got my friend Donny Osmond to. He sent me that too. He sent me that too. I He sent me that, too. I had friends. I swear to God. So instead of Doug, obviously, he just keeps singing Jeff.

I love it. By the way, that video was amazing. It's so good. It's so good. It's Donny Osmond dancing around. Also, Matt Bronger got one as well, and Bill Corbett got one. You don't have to make me feel bad about my relationship with Weird Al. I'm about to make my...

And then I was like, well, surely I'll have one. Oh, you didn't get one? Just like a keychain at an amusement park. I'm about to make my, it's like, and then I was like, well, oh, surely I'll have one. Oh, you didn't get one? Just like a key chain at an amusement park. Right. I did not get one. I just,

I just like those license plates in stores. Exactly. Sometimes they don't have your name. They never have my name. When you have an exotic name. Yeah.

Like Jonah. They have Jonas. I was like, fucking, what is this place? A Weezer fan? It's in the Bible. The Old Testament. So we can all get behind it by the way it is a great song

it is a really good song yeah but everyone calls me now it's like i go my name's jonah and they go jonas they go no no jonah yeah jonah when i was a big kid i knew i knew uh how about this to make you feel better i know i know a guy named j, and for the beginning part of knowing him, I only called him Jonah. Oh, that's so great. Oh, God, yeah, fuck that kid. It's a guy. What? It's a man.

Yeah, yeah, just that guy, that kid. You know, that cat. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm friends with other men. Yeah. I do have a good friend. He's seven. his name is Max

Okay, I really wasn't paying attention But I think even if I was That was probably out of nowhere Also joining us on stage Is Daniel Van Kirk Hello Hello How's it going, buddy?

It is going great. How many podcasts do you have now? Just two. Seven? Oh, two. Okay, two. Pen Pals and Dumb People Town. Yep, Pen Pals is Rory Scovel and I reading letters that anyone can send to us.

And then Dumb People Town is the Sklar brothers and myself doing three dumb news stories and riffing on it with a great guest. What happened to Hindsight, That show about sexy butts? It became problematic. Very problematic. Why? No, I'm joking. I would say I'm on a bit of a break from it right now, but it is a great show if anybody ever

wants to go back and listen to it. Comics come on, they bring three photos from any chapter of their life and we just talk about the context of their life when that photo was taken. Do you know what I find fascinating? That you actually got people to have photos of themselves. Some people can't help it. Most everyone's photos are in a phone.

It's on the phone. My mistake for mistaking photos. Every once in a while you'll get a glossy and that is a special moment. But usually it is just phone. A glossy? What are you, a 1950s agent? I'm working on it. Come down to the office. Bring a glossy. Bring a glossy.

Bring a stick. And I'll see what I can do. We're going to do a mailing. Bring your glossy. And that's the master of a million voices, Jeff Garland! Yes! Doug, it is so exciting that I'm here.

I came to downtown Burbank to be a guest on Doug Loves Movies, part of the Burbank Comedy Festival, which America's always talking about. Yeah. There's a buzz out there on the street about this comedy festival. Just right outside this street. It's probably the hottest, I mean, the best comedy festival in downtown Burbank. Yeah. Yeah, there's 14 others.

It's so weird. Yeah. I was in the mall going, wow, this place is crowded. They must all be here for the comedy festival. Everyone walking around with their comedy festival credentials. Food court was crazy, man. Yeah. Well, if you hear this Before the weekend is out

I don't know if you will or not But please come check out Flappers and their festival But come to Flappers period It's a great room It's a great room You have a show coming up here I am

I walked by your glossy On the wall My glossy Yeah Which my agent put up I sent your glossy To Flappers To promote your shows

At Flappers You tell your shows at Flappers. You tell me if William Morris is out here putting up photos. Yeah, just I do it. It's just me and the wheat paste. I'm here on August 31st. What is? Me. Labor Day weekend.

Yeah, I'm closing out the month of August here. That's how you look at it, that everybody previous to you opened for you for the comedy that's how you look at it that everybody previous to you open for you for the entire month and you're finally closing the calendar closer yeah flapper says we got the last day of the month for you we held it that's that's quite an honor i didn't know that it worked that way yeah um but uh do you guys ever use the word dabble? Yeah. Yeah, you can dabble in this, dabble in that. Do you use it? Yeah. Oh, I don't. You just did. Well, I just dabbled in dabble,

but I don't really use dabble. What do you say instead if you're just trying something out? Cock. I cock in that. Yeah. I cock in that. All right, Doug, go ahead with your show. Okay, thank you, Jeff. I love how he always throws it back to me.

I do. You're the man. It's you who loves movies. It's my show, but it's almost like you're like, let's go back to Doug in the studio. You're the field reporter on the other side of the stage.

Let's go back to Doug in the studio. Oh, hey. Thanks, Jeff. Oh, thanks Jeff. Yeah. Looks hot out there. Well, it's downtown Burbank. Yeah.

We'll get back to this when there's more. Okay. Um, prize bag. Let's talk about it. Jonah's got a bag. I got a bag. What's in it?

Uh, I have a, uh, some records that I put out. This is a Matt dwyer's record inside looking out on my label it's a very it's on the a side it's uh it's he did a set of stand-up that is great and it's also he did it in the bar that he used to bartend at downtown uh bar 107 so he basically did a shift and then he went up on stage and we recorded it

and then that b-side is like uh awesome like dwyer i've known since he's 14 years old he was like an old second city guy in Chicago, right? I met him. He was a 14-year-old kid hanging around Chicago. Did you hate him? I loved him. I always loved him. He's a great guy.

You started out in the box office, right? Who did? You. Yeah, me and Steve Colbert. Yeah, he told the story where you would just clear all the lines. You would hang up on every single person wanting to come to the show. Because I shouldn't be allowed to work in a box office. I also have the 7-inch I put out of Paige Weldon, one of my favorite stand-ups.

Phenomenal. This is her EP, Uncomfortable at Best. I put that out on a special thing. You have your own label? I got my own little label. You do? Yeah. I hate money.

And then I got a pen that my wife designed from Good Good Pens. It's a derpy looking cat with some flowers. So that's some stuff. That's awesome. That's perfect. That's good merch. Here, let me put it all back in the bag for you. Thank you, please. DBK, what do you got?

I made sure it worked, but it's all here. That's a cat. I know. Arclight here in Los Angeles does things, promotions every once in a while at their Instagram, where if you can say how excited you are to see a movie, they'll send you a fan pack of all their stuff. So I pretended to be way into Littlefoot or Smallfoot,

whatever it's called. You get the game. You get the Smallfoot game. Is that the Zach Galifianakis one? Yes. I don't know. He's that... Oh yeah, he's the one with Wolverine.

No, he's like a prehistoric man. Hugh Jackman's one of the voices as well. Yeah, the Yeti or something. Yeah, yeah. Right? Okay. There's a very small t-shirt in voices as well. The Yeti or something. Yeah, yeah. Okay. There's a very small t-shirt in here as well for it.

So I've also... Surely this man is just doing this for his son. Oh, I was excited for the enthusiasm. You kept this. For this moment. I have stuff in my garage too. So you'll get it. And then I think I have... I put it somewhere.

I don't know where it is. Well, Jeff, you know you were inspiration for this part of my show because you used to do the combo platter and you'd open the show by bringing crap from home and just handing it out to audience members.

And I was like, oh, we should do that on my show. I still do it, by the way. Of course. And then from when I did shows at Team Cocoa House from San Diego, there is like a battery pack for your phone or other electronic devices. That's probably the thing that'll work the most.

Oh, yeah, 100%. Who gives a shit about the other things? Hey, give your nephew crap for this Christmas. Yeah, so some lucky winner today, I'm hoping isn't going to be riding the bus or something. It's a fun game. It's like Hungry, Hungry Hippos. And I went into my storage, my garage. This is beautiful. It's a fun game. It's like Hungry Younger Hippos. They've got a lot of stuff to carry around. And I went into my storage, my garage.

This is beautiful. This is a brand new, I want someone to eat cheese with DVD, and I got it signed by me. How'd you pull that off? I waited outside my house for me to leave. You can't open it, Doug. It's sealed. Oh, okay. Did your agent facilitate this?

Yeah, he saw me and goes, look, I got these cheese DVDs sitting in the office. We gotta get rid of them. You got this Doug Benson Burbank Festival thing. And I know he likes Hazarai.

Give him a DVD. People love DVDs. It's the wave of the future. All right, that's the prize bag. You forgot to throw it back to Doug at the end of that. Oh, hold on. Doug, back to you.

Thank you. Jonah. Douglas. I got a really serious question for you. Jonah. Douglas. I got a really serious question for you. What was the last movie you saw? The last movie. In a theater? Because you have to have that shit.

No, it could be in any format because we're all on the go these days. Well, the last movie I watched, I finally got around to it. I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did, but it was on TV. It started, watched I finally got around to it I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did but it was on TV it started so I just kept on watching it and I'm surprised how much I loved it Beach Bum

I fucking love Beach Bum the Harmony Corrine movie I was like I'll see this bullshit I didn't like Gummo and I'm finally okay saying that out loud by the way, movie star. McConaughey. Oh, my God.

Big bowl of movie stars. He's great. He's a freak of nature. He's so good. Just watch a Lincoln commercial. Sahara? Yeah, come on. That's all you need to see.

You want to see if he's a movie star or not, just put other people in that drink car. Failure to launch. That voice, and you're changing the channel. How many times Matthew McConaughey comes on in the Lincoln commercial, and you're like, I'm going to watch this whole fucking thing. Yeah. I bought a Lincoln. It's Matthew McConaughey comes on in the Lincoln commercial and you're like, I'm going to watch this whole fucking thing. Yeah. I bought a Lincoln. Matthew McConaughey, I'm in. Well, right now people are even like, there's that movie, is it

Serenity or something like that? Where everyone's like, this movie is trash, but you gotta see it. It's a McConaughey. Yeah, you gotta. He's magic. Same with Nick Cage. Nick Cage. Oh, Nick Cage in anything. Anything. Yeah. Did you see Mandy? I wrote it, but I did not see it. Back to you.

But I will see it, by the way. That is a purchase on iTunes coming up very soon. I'm not even going to wait for it to get to Netflix. I'm fucking buying that motherfucker. I might not even rent it. I might buy it for constant enjoyment. Mandy? Yeah.

It's on Shudder right now. My favorite part is when Nicolas Cage says to I might not even rent it. I might buy it for constant enjoyment. Mandy? Yeah. Yeah. It's on a shutter right now. Yeah. My favorite part is when Nicholas Cage says to Mandy, the title character. Titular character. Titular. He says, knock, knock. She goes, who's there?

And he goes, Eric Estrada. And she goes, Eric Estrada who? And he goes, Eric Estrada from Ch she goes, Eric Estrada who? And he goes, Eric Estrada from Chips. Can I just tell you something? That alone is worth a purchase. That alone, and you watch it over and over and over again until you're beaming. You're so fucking happy, you can't even fucking move.

You don't even need weed when you just watch a segment. Okay, all right. Settle down. Calm down here. Did you see Peach Pop? Knock, knock. Who's there? Eric Estrada.

Eric Estrada from Chips. That is as awesome as... Boy, I got to tell you. Have they ever done a movie together, McConaughey and Nick Cage? Oh, shit. I don't think so. That's, by the way,

not in a sexual way, but I would masturbate out of excitement. You know what? I would masturbate out of excitement. I'd come for the rest of my life if you add in Sam Rockwell and make that a trio. Oh, Goodnight Nurse. Yeah. That's what they'd call it. Yeah.

That's the name of the movie, Goodnight Nurse. It's basically a remake of The Disorderlies. Back to you, Doug. Back to you, Doug. Back to you, Dan. The same question I just asked Jonah. What was the last movie you saw? The last movie I saw, but I would like to mention two, because I recently watched it.

But the last one I saw was Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Oh, how was that? I enjoyed it. You could really see how Guillermo del Toro elevated it beyond what it could have been. And it was enjoyable. I liked it a lot. So he elevated it beyond words on a page? You know when you see like PG-13 horror? Yeah.

And you're like, okay. And then you're like, oh, wow, he can make that. Made it scary, but still kids can check it. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm definitely going to check that out. The best PG-13 horror movie is, and tell me if this one's better or equal, Drag Me to Hell.

Ooh, I love that. Oh, my granddaughter. Ooh. That's close. That's really, really, really close. Drag Me to Hell is great. Okay, good. So that gets me excited, because Drag Me to Hell is one of the few PG-13s that I found

genuinely scary. Usually, once you've got that PG-13, there's no bloodshed. And that really kind of hurts when you're trying to make... They do some very creative stuff with not having that. I'm sure they do.

I'm sure they do. If I really can, I didn't know this until you got here today. A movie I just watched on VHS is the early, I think, 1983 classic, Spring Break. Oh, good God! I don't even knowHS is the early, I think, 1983 classic Spring Break. Oh, good God.

Where you, I don't even know if you're credited, but you were in the belly flop competition. Yeah, I played crazy. And you like chug a beer and then crush it on your head. And shoot a moon. Yes, you do. At 19 years old. You were so good. I'm watching it.

I'm like, is that Jeff? I kept on going up to the director, Sean Cunningham, Friday the 13th. Kept on going to the director and the writer. Write me lines. the 13th. Kept on going up to the director and the writer. Write me lines. Write me lines. Kept on saying lines. What was your name? Like Crusher or someone?

Gut-Gut. Crazy Gut-Gut. Yes. But the joke of it is, years later, it comes out on DVD. There's no way that's on DVD. It's on DVD. Way of the future. Wait.

Wait. And who do you think they talk about on the back of the box? You. The extras. Me. It just cracked me up. I'm begging them. Yet I'm the only one who had a career.

It's a great slice of early 80s. Oh, it's a great slice. Yes. It's not equivalent to Nick Cage doing Eric Estrada, but it's a big bowl of delightful. I would recommend it. I recommend people watch it. In terms of my repertoire,

I feel like you should watch like Curb or WALL-E, something of substance, or dive the other direction. Spring Break. Don't watch the shit in the middle. I did a lot of shit in the middle, but fuck Spring Break. Is that your first credit?

That was my first movie, yeah. Wow. Actually, no. Yes, my second movie, which I walked off of, Scarface. No. With Al Pacino, yes. You thought it was too violent and didn't see women writing? No, this is a true story.

I, you know... Were you living in Florida? Yeah, I was living in South Florida. I'm from Chicago, but I was living in South Florida as a teenager. And I hadn't started my stand-up career yet. And there were two movies. So crappy agent in Florida, you had to pay them 50 bucks a year. Per glossy.

Per glossy, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take your glossy, and I'll take no check cash. So it was an annual fee agent. Yes. Okay. He told me I had a part. I flew home. I was visiting my uncle in Washington, D.C.

I flew home because I had a, quote, part in spring break. Find out I'm a part. I flew home. I was visiting my uncle in Washington, D.C. I flew home because I had a, quote, part in spring break. Find out I'm an extra. Featured. Yes, I was called special extra, by the way. Then I get a call from the agent going, I got you a better part. And I go, really? He goes, yeah. And I was in Scarface.

By the way, I was so young. I don't know these things. I didn't realize no one told me what my part was. I knew nothing. And I go down to Miami Beach to go be in Scarface. And then I find out I'm an extra. And I found out when I was standing around the

extras, when they're doing their, about to get their vouchers. And I go, ah, fuck this. And one guy sees me and in front of me goes, what's wrong with you? And I go, I'm not a stupid fucking extra. I'm going to be a star. Go fuck yourself. Whoa, we'll hear more stories like that in just a minute.

Back to you, Doug. I really was like, I was mad. Because he was like getting angry at it towards me. I'm like, fuck you. You be an extra, you fucker. So I left. I walked off the set. And did you ever become a star?

No. No, because according to my calculations, I'm a... Garland. I'm a comedian of some notoriety, that's how I would describe myself. Hey, Doug, do you have a question for me? You're the top Garland, I would think. Oh, yeah, in the industry.

Not phonetically. Not phonetically, because Judy is much more. By the way, you have a question for me? No, I don't think so. I thought it was the last movie you saw. No, I just asked the first two people and then we move on. By the way, I'm good with that.

Any direction you want to go, I'm fucking good with, man. I'm honored to be near you, Doug Benson. And I'm happy to be on you, Doug Benson, and I'm happy to be on your show. I have no attitude like I did on Scarface. That was a 19 year old kid. Yeah, you're not even getting 50 bucks

here. I don't want anything. You had to bring me something. Yeah, I want nothing from you. I'm honored to be near you. What was the last movie you saw? Well, unfortunately, the last movie I saw was the most recent Avengers, which came out of my Apple TV.

And it was really, really... If you enjoy exposition that makes no sense, it's fantastic. If you enjoy exposition that makes sense, there's something wrong with you. Exposition in general, too much of it. And a lot of location shots. Didn't Avengers Endgame

have 20 some movies of exposition? So much fucking exposition. And none of it. If you fall down there and you die, we'll get one of the jewels back. Why? Don't ask. And then I gotta tell you, when I watch

these movies, every one of these superheroes seems to forget their mask when they go into fight. Certain characters who had masks at one time or helmets, they disappear in these movies so we can see the movie star's faces. I fucking hate. I have collected comic books, Marvel specifically, since I'm a little boy. And outside of Deadpool, I hate every one of these fucking movies.

One is worse than the fucking next. And then they manipulate you, and they're slow dancing at the end. I didn't like it. And my review is Spring Break 10, Avengers 1. And by the way, fuck that movie. Fuck them and fuck them good.

Fuck them so hard, those fuckheads. It's a corporate piece of shit. That you work for. I do work for them. I work for them, but I ain't shilling for the man. There you go. By the way, I didn't look for it.

You're the Shepard Smith of ABC and Disney production. That's right. I'm the Shepard Smith. This is wrong. This is wrong. Someone has to say it. And I'm here to say, fuck that. But I want to give props.

Oh, I can't wait till tomorrow. Doug, could you edit out that part where I just talked to my $50 a year agent? Doug, could you raise my volume? That's what I want you to do in post. Raise my volume that what they're doing is bad for humanity. The fucking Avengers movie is bad for humanity. I just saw it. Well, first of all, in it, they save humanity.

But I watched fiction. In terms of reality, they're only hurting humanity. There was a study done about the carbon footprint of making that movie. Oh, by the way, holy shit. Sorry, Doug. You know what? That's on me. That one's on me.

You look at the credits. You did this, Dan. You look at the credits. There are way too many people. It's like, what did you work on? Well, a bunch of us got together and made a pile of shit. A pile of shit. I bet you that movie created 5,500

jobs. Yes. But what it did to the environment, the carbon footprint is very deep. Oh my God, the big bowl of wrong. It's wrong. But emotionally. I would love to work for ABC. Emotionally. Well, you can. I feel like you felt the same way about Avatar and Titanic. Nope.

Really? You think those are better? Than Avengers? Hell yes. Jeff. Because guess what, Jeff? Avengers is the top grossing movie of all time. Yes, that shows that a lot of retarded people live in America. And we have the mentally challenged and also... I so rarely edit

stuff out of this show. By the way, they're hypnotizing you. They are hypnotizing you to come to the theater. Oh, boo-hoo. Robert Downey died. You know why? Because he's a movie star. He's a movie star who doesn't want to do this shit anymore.

And he's like, fucking kill me. I'm rich. I don't need this shit. Harrison Ford. Why was Aunt May at Iron Man's funeral? What the fuck were they doing together? I know he was close with Spider-Man, but I don't get it.

I don't get any of it. Let's go back to you, Doug, in the studio. I don't get it. It's hot out there. It is. There's a lot of heat. I want to know why Chris Martin and Apple were at the funeral. By the way, that would have made me really happy. Yeah, right?

Well, she was. Gwyneth was there. And by the way, that one shot of the ladies, like where the lady action heroes, and they're going to do damage. Fuck that. You know what? That is so condescending and bullshit.

It's like a female James Bond. What the fuck? You know what? Did that happen? It's supposedly happening to a degree. But here's the thing. It's called Atomic Bomb. They're having a woman write it.

By the way, that I like. Keep her off screen. No, keep her on. Let me explain. He's pandering. Let me explain. So you have billions of dollars. You've been making these James Bond movies. If you really want to do something where you give a black woman power, create a character for her and let her star in a bunch of fucking movies

and go, we're going to put all the advertising behind it and she's going to be the fucking next action star. Or put her next to James Bond. Don't suddenly make James Bond. By the way, I don't care about skin color. All good with that. But what the fuck? No, why would I give a shit about that?

That's racist. I'm not racist. No, I believe you. And I'm pro-women, but let's empower them with the fucking money you have and not go, Oh, James Bond, who's done 40 movies, doesn't exist anymore. And now he's a lady who fucks other women what the fuck's going on i don't like it i like when people do noble things and not sell out i mean it's so noble why isn't there fucking also okay that one james bond movie with pierce bronson

with the uh is she old and i brosnan the brosnan the action i did a movie with him Bronson. With the... Brosnan? I did a movie with him. He's very nice. But the action... The karate lady... What was her name? I don't know. She did all sorts of... And I'm watching the movie going, Give this motherfucker a movie.

She's fucking great. No, they're fucking pussies. They'll just fucking pander. We have time for one round of Last Man Standing. Yeah, I should have... Last Man Standing? No, no, no, no, no. I should have trusted my instincts and not asked Jeff that question.

Yeah, you came Last Man Standing? Okay, got it. Just think of all the trouble we would have avoided if I didn't ask Jeff that question. What about the Avengers? I didn't ask you about the Avengers have avoided if I didn't ask Jeff that question. What, about the Avengers? I didn't ask you about the Avengers. Oh, I don't even remember. By the way, the food here... I said, what was the last...

Piece of shit movie! That's your impression, Doug, really? That's your impression? That's how articulate you think I am? Let me... You know what? I think you're very articulate in the way I did it. Hold on.

For the next two minutes, I'm going to be your character of me. No matter what you ask, no matter what happens, I'm going to be your character of me. But I want to make

an announcement before I do. My version of you doesn't talk to us. It's a weird comedy club. Food here is good. Order it. Okay, go ahead. What?

The food at Flapper's is great. Yeah, it's good. But why the need to say that? I just felt like people should be eating. Yeah, you guys, why aren't you getting more flappetizers? By the way, if they called them flappetizers, I wouldn't have promoted them. See, that's the thing. They give...

I would think you'd like silly names. Don't you get a moon over my hammy whenever you go to... No, I don't talk. I do not. I don't do moon over my hammy. I don't do that. I can't believe we finally got a talking dog on this show. That was a very good dog doing you. By the way, I would be great for a talking dog.

But I only do Pixar movies. Thank you. Hey, listen, Buttercup. That's right. What is that? I haven't seen movies. Thank you. Hey, listen, Buttercup. That's right. Butterfucking Cup. What is that? I haven't seen Toy Story 4 yet. I have not seen it either.

I was out of town. You still know what the character was, though. Yeah, I recorded it, yes. It's Buttercup, the unicorn. Oh, it's a unicorn? Yeah, yeah. Can you give us a line, how you spoke in it? Hey, I'm Buttercup.

Toy Story 4. Toy Story 4. No, that's Toy Story 3. Hey, I'm Buttercup. Toy Story 4. Toy Story 4. That's Toy Story 3. Oh, Daniel's got a point. That line is from Toy Story 3. Damn it. Because Woody, I have to introduce myself.

Oh, okay. To Woody, I say, hi, I'm Buttercup. But I use my own voice. Yeah. I'm glad Buttercup doesn't turn out to be like that bear that turned out to be evil. Spoiler alert. That was really, really sad. I can't go back to part three when four is out? I don't know. I think once four comes out,

one through three are safe. I played a practical joke on the makeup lady in Toy Story 3. And you say makeup lady. I know it was an animated thing. But we had a press day where they did a screening and then the press interviewed us. So she's working on me and I go,

she goes, what did you think of the movie? Because they had screened it for us, and I said, well, it's kind of sad. She's like, what are you talking about? I go, well, all the characters die, except for the new one. She goes, what are you talking about? Yeah, they're all going down a garbage chute,

and they all burn. And then Don Rickles walks in to go through makeup next, and I knew how to do it. I go, Don, pretty sad what happens. He goes, that was tension filled, that garbage scene. He goes, I know. It was so stressful. And so this woman's like, oh my God, they killed Toy Story.

I never corrected it. So I'm guessing if she ever went to see the movie at that point, she thought, oh, here's where they all die. But they don't because it's a Pixar movie. Doug loves asking regretful questions. That was a great answer, though. That was a great answer. Thanks, pal.

And by the way, that's a great name for a show. Anything that says Doug in it means you're there, and I fucking love it. That's Doug fucking Benson. I love Doug. Did I just sink a putt? Yeah. That was so cute.

All right, so we got through that question, and I'm afraid of the can of worms. This next question is going to open, but I've been having so much fun with it lately. Does anyone on the panel have an impression that if you do it, it'll help me to learn how to do it?

I'm trying to build up my impressions repertoire. You're not good at impressions. Exactly. But once somebody gives you the secret, once they unlock the secret, then I can be good. Check out this Jennifer Coolidge that I learned. Oh, wow.

That sounds good. More like Owen Wilson. Talking like Jennifer Coolidge. I would go, you sound like Jennifer Coolidge. That's it. That kind of had more of an Owen Wilson vibe to it. Oh, yeah. See, that'll help me to do Owen Wilson.

Oh, wow. What's going on? Yeah, dude. Hey, that'll help me to do Owen Wilson. There you go. Try it. Oh, wow. What's going on? Yeah, dude! Hey, Marley, get over here. Marley, get up. I got one for you. You know what it is. I do? Yeah, Adam West. Oh, yeah. Jeff's Adam West is...

You must have loved Nick Cage in... Oh, loved it. Yes. Kick-ass. By the way, you could actually do this. You must love Nick Cage in Blank. Any movie. And I just go, yes.

But that he chose the Adam West voice for whenever he was in his superhero costume. But it was Nick Cage's Adam West. Yeah. It wasn't even fucking Adam West. It's not as spot on as yours. No, mine is an impression. His was, I'm Nick Cage, and I will channel Adam West through me because I'm fucking Nick Cage.

I'm Jeff Garlin. I've got to do Adam West. There's a difference between us. He's a big fucking star, that fucking Nick Cage. Cage. Cage. Right. He could.

He could. All right, so give it to us. It appears to me that the Joker, Riddlerler and the Catwoman have escaped. So help me. If you've harmed Aunt Harriet, you will... Quick, boy. Old chum.

All right, Doug, now you. That is a smattering, by the way, if there ever was one. Yeah, that was super smattery, but I just feel like it's aging out. Like the younger audiences don't know for old Batman. I did Adam West for him twice. Once was years ago at Evening at the Improv. And the second time was on his deathbed?

Hold on. You're close. His death sofa. First time was back in the days of Evening at the Improv. His death cave. He saw me me do it and I heard this voice come up behind me you are very talented good luck to you really good luck

and then the second time was a week before he died I was on a radio show with him and I did it and then he went like this that is the worst impression of me I have ever heard in my life. So yes, close to a deathbed.

Well, that's not you supporting me right now, Doug. You're silenced. As much as I'm enthusiastic about you, you know what, Doug? I'm never coming on your show again. I've just decided that you're not appreciative. No, that doesn't happen every time no you're not that doesn't happen

every time I'm happy I've never asked you this Doug do you think you can do a Wahlberg look good feel good oh that's pretty good can you do

Sheena Easton backstage before a show look good feel good yes that's what she does do you want to know the one word though I would tell you how to do a perfect Wahlberg?

Oh, there's one word? It's just... What? That's good. What? I always like doing him in The Happening. That's weird. It's the trees.

It must be the trees. Okay, so, Jonah, do you have one? I hear... I kind of, for kicks in my car by myself, I do Norm MacDonald. And I do Norm MacDonald... This is Norm MacDonald. He's like,

what do I do if I had a time machine? I go back in time and handle that Mussolini fella, that's for sure. I'd go, ah, wiener dog, get off me there, wiener dog. That's really good. It's very good. Is that Norm MacDonald? Yeah. That's good, yeah.

What's Ferris Bueller's name? Barnaby Jones? No. Matthew Broderick. Matthew Broderick. I almost said Ferris Bueller. Matthew Broderick in Better Things, the Pamela

Allen show, he does a one word impression of John Lithgow and he just goes, butterfly! Oh, I get it. And it's fucking great. That wasn't good, but it was as good as Ferris Bueller's. There you go.

Yeah. See, Doug goes fucking silent on you. He's like, oh, I'm going to judge him. He just judged you. Yeah, he did. It sucks. It's not right. It didn't feel good, Jeff.

It's not supportive. Thanks for sticking up for me. It's not yes and. So fuck you, Doug Benson, and all your many podcasts. If I yes and, we'll never get to anything. Just say I'm here to I'm the one you keep saying, Doug, let's go. Hold on, I disagree.

In terms of Jonah, you're wrong. Jonah knows when to stop. I do not. Well, you do know that you are here today. Yes, now I've just learned. So yes, my job today is to keep it moving

it's just hitting me now that I'm here today here let's try that I'm here at Flappers in the belly of Burbank Butterfly good one Jonah Doug keep going back to you Doug

turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin! Folks have made some name tags. Some are better than others. And there's not a ton of them. But there are some. And that's the important thing. So each of my guests, just go select

a name tag of the person you like to play for and bring it back to your seat. And while you do that, do this we'll be right back hey mother effers want to see me or this show live and in person i'll be taping at douglow's movies next saturday august 24th at good nights in raleigh north carolina at 4 20 douglow'sies is back at UCB Franklin in Los Angeles on Tuesday August 27th at 8 o'clock. I'm doing stand-up and CB live in North Phoenix on Saturday August 31st at 420 and I'll be at Comedy Works in Denver on Sunday September 1st at 7 p.pm. Come on down and meet and possibly smoke with Rasta Jeff.

For all my dates and deets go to Douglovesmovies.com That's Douglovesmovies.com Yeah, caca, wallet. Shhh. Back to the show. We're back! Butterfly! Who are you playing on behalf of, Jonah?

I'm playing on behalf of someone, I guess, named Chris. This seems really offensive. This seems like a terrible thing to make light of. The movie Mississippi Burning. It caught my eye. It says, Chrisippe Burning, and it has you and Dave Foley and a giant, one of those cross joints from,

what is the movie? Pineapple Express. Not a fan, but it has the thing, and it's like, and you did it based off of the movie Mississippi. Did you, have you seen Mississippi Burning, or did you know that there's just a movie that has burning in the title?

Right. For those at home, the cross joint is overlaying the burning cross from the movie. Want everybody to be equally offended. It's really good. You know what? But who am I? I took it to mine for laughs.

Maybe I'm the problem. No, I can't be it. Dan, what do you got? I got Locke, Scott, and two smoking barrels. That's fun. Yeah. Oh, that's a nice one. I like it.

Yeah, good artwork on that. Thanks, Scott. You're thanking him? Mm-hmm. You're welcome. But now you have to thank Dan for picking it. Thanks, Dan. Yep.

Thanks, Dan. Oh, thank you. Thank you. You're doing a great job. Thank you. Jeff? I have Spider-Man 1.2 Miles from Home featuring, are you Cece? That's Cece Ellis, who I picked her because she was the closest to where I'm sitting.

Nice. 1.2 feet away from you. Yeah. Are you 1.2 miles from home right now? Yes. Hell yeah, that is dedication. They didn't fill it out until they read their odometer and they were like,

yeah. And then they're like, okay, let's be accurate, otherwise they're not going to pick us. And it turned out to be true. So you're only 1.2 miles away from home. It must have been hard getting in here. It must have taken a while with all that comedy festival traffic coming down to town, down in Burbank. Can I tell you something? Jonah, that comedy festival traffic,

we as Californians, Southern Californians, every year we just dread it when it happens. Oh, God. You just got to go with the flow, Jonah. You're a local, got to go with the flow. You just got to go with it. It's like people of Austin deal with South by Southwest traffic just the same way we deal with Burbank comedy festival traffic.

That's the best joke of the night. The people of Boston dealing with South by West South by Southwest. I don't think you heard it. It doesn't need to. That is a great joke the same way Burbank deals with

the comedy festival. That's awesome. That's really funny. I'm just going to answer some emails over here. Back to you, Doug. How come you guys didn't celebrate with Jeff? Jeff's the only one on my side. I'm going to be honest with you.

I'm on everybody's side. And when I say that... You mean the Nazis too? And the Avengers? By the way, I enjoy a good Nazi movie better than the fucking Avengers as long as the Nazis

lose. Oh, okay. Like Raiders of the Lost Ark? Pro. Let's go Raiders of the Lost Ark. I would rather watch Raiders of the Lost Ark in a ladies bikini 25 times more than the Avengers one time in comfy pajamas

with the perfect temperature and a nice pizza. And I am not. I have never. You clearly have a very white-hot hatred for what is a perfectly fine movie. That is the number one movie of all time. Not that that makes it a great movie. I didn't like Avatar. That's why I asked you. A lot of people

hated Titanic. A lot of people hated Avatar. I'm not saying I loved Avatar or loved... What was the other movie you mentioned? Titanic. I've never even seen Titanic. But let me just tell you something. I've never seen a Michael Bay movie. I've announced that before when I appear places. You figured out that you hate them without having seen any

of them? Well, I saw Avatar. It was okay. That's not a Michael Bay movie. No, I know that, but I'm just saying. You're just saying what? Avatar didn't make me angry. The Avengers made me angry. It did pull emotion out of me. By the way, that would be the line. No, I could say that.

Anger. Jeff, so they're moving into the next phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. There's going to be a lot of movies coming out, a lot of TV shows. They will ask you to be in one of these movies. Are you going to say yes? No. You heard it here. Jeff Garlin is

never going to be in a Marvel production. It's a pledge. Hold on. Let me be honest with you. Everything's about... What if it's a good one? Yes, I will. Number one, if it's a good script and a good director i'm in but but but it all depends where they film it and who the fuck is in it because those are the fuckers i'm gonna have to hang out with day after day and i'm not assuming that i'm gonna be a hero i'm someone

that works for the government i know that yeah yeah I'm a cage's old... I mean, Nick Fury's old friend who wears an eye patch on the other eye. By the way, there's... There you go. By the way, Sergeant Fury... That's your podcast. The game part of this show takes about an hour, and we're 22 minutes behind, and we're going to end

on schedule. So I'm probably just going to give the prizes to the first person who says I'd carry all that shit around. Where I agree with a choice. When they made him Sergeant Fury, Nick Fury, Nick Fury in the comics was a white man. Samuel Jackson,

great. No, no, but that's a good choice. He has the spirit of the character. Like, boom, let's go, daddy-o. I just hate when they do shit just because. This is a great episode of By the Way with Jeff Garlin. By the way, that was the name of my podcast, and I'm not bringing it back.

It's going to be called Jeff Garlin's Lemonade Stand. I swear, that's my new podcast. Oh, okay. I'm announcing it here. What happens on that show? I serve up lemonade, and I talk to people. Can I get a Tito's? You don't need more than that, and I'm not lemonade and I talk to people. Can I get a Tito's and soda?

You don't need more than that and I'm not going to be celebrity driven so the three of you are welcome. There it is. No, the truth is I'm not.

I mean, there probably won't be any stars but the point being is it'll be delightful. Keep going, Doug. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about

I live for you coming on my show and constantly telling me to keep going. It really be delightful. Keep going, Doug. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about it. I live for you coming on my show and constantly telling me to keep going. It really is charming. The listeners love it. I'm sorry. By the way, I love when you get serious. Everyone knows that I'm ready to keep going. Hold on.

I've been ready the whole time. Remember that time you walked off? I'm kind of hoping for that again today. Did I walk off? Yeah, you did one time. Was I late for something? You came back because you weren't able to talk when you were off stage. So you had to come back and talk some more.

I don't remember, but I'm sure it happened. I believe you, Doug, everything you say. All right. Doug Benson. So we're going to play some games. And I know a lot of movie titles are going to come up, so we don't need a story about every movie that we mention. By the way.

We don't even need your opinion about anything for the rest of the show. We don't need to know whether you like or dislike any of these movies. By the way, how have I done playing your game? And have I ever commented too long on the game part? I don't recall how you've done because sometimes you don't finish. But I think you're good at the games.

By the way, for the record, I've been in your tournament of champions yeah okay so that's how good you are yeah so shut the fuck up 24 minutes behind the last part fellas just strap yourselves in for a competition that you've never faced unless you were in the new avengers movie go ahead i didn't even love the new Avengers movie and I feel like I gotta defend it. I did love it.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Doug, back to you. What's wrong with you? No, it's okay. Doug, I can't wait for you. Why do you guys keep triggering Jeff? Games, games, games.

I really want to play this game. But by the way, what do you think keep triggering Jeff? Games, games, games, games, games, games, games. I really want to play this game. But by the way, what do you think of Scum? Games! By the way, it's got a Halloween theme on here. No, no, no, no, no, stop. I feel like we're celebrating Halloween. So easily we could build a haunted house. Yeah, look at that, Jeff.

There's food orders going out. Two food orders since you said it. Okay. That's right. Okay, we can't, we can't. Great fries, great tater tots. Enjoy. Come on. Throw me a tater tot. We cannot do this. Doug,'t. We can't. Great fries, great tater tots. Enjoy. Come on.

Throw me a tater tot. We cannot do this, Doug. I'm on your side. Just throw a tater tot at me. I would, but I'm crippled. Okay. Oh, no. Yeah.

Yeah, do it. Yeah! You went for it, and that's what fucking matters. Hell yeah. Keep going, Doug. You don't hear that very often when you ask somebody to do something. I would, but I'm crippled. By the way, every one of my

shows, they say that. You fucking did it. You killed it. You killed it. That was awesome. By the way, that's... No, no. When it comes to comedy clubs, they stop. Could this count as one of the games? Could you throw one of those at Jeff?

Every time Jeff talks, throw one at him. All right, there you go. You just enjoy them. And by the way, they're making it to your mouth. You don't have zero dexterity. Don't say shit like that.

You've got enough, but you have enough to make it from your plate to your mouth. You know what? Don't put the help with the fork. Okay. Oh, fork. They go straight down, and you know, they're lost forever. plate to your mouth. You know what? Don't put them up with a fork. Okay. Oh. Forks.

They go straight down and you know they're lost forever. Wouldn't it be funny if you like Jeff's a real master of this form talking to someone

who's off mic and not repeating what she's saying. Okay. Really interesting to listen to. All right. So cut that part, Doug.

What do you want from me? We're not cutting any of this. It's beautiful. Is this going out live? What are you upset about? It's beautiful how terrible this is. It kind of is. Yeah. It kind of this. It's beautiful. This is going on live. What are you upset about? It's beautiful how terrible this is. It kind of is.

Yeah. It kind of is. By the way, I've made your show today. This audience is so nice. I've been fighting with audience members lately. It's great to get it up on stage. Hey, Doug. You guys get to leave here and not be able to explain this to anyone.

Hold on. We've made today's show kind of like a Nick Cage movie. It kind of is. Some people are going to hate it. If we're going to keep going down this random road, I have to find Oh, and the chocolate chip cookies are here. And a burger. Yeah, motherfucker. I'm going to tell my Nick Cage story.

He called up his agent, Sarah. I heard this on the Nick DiGiglio radio show. He called up his agent, Sarah, who is a friend of Nick's and he said at two in the morning, Sarah, what's a deli? That's the whole story. Wow. Nick Cage, about 10 years ago,

needed to find out what a deli was from his assistant. And that's public record. And ironically, I took him to Cantor's. Really? That night. 27 minutes. My agent called me and said, listen to me, I got it on good authority

that Nick Cage is confused about delis. Did you say that you're 50? Cantor's is open. Take him to Cantor's. He'll enjoy. And maybe you two will do National Treasure 3. All right, go, Doug. I feel good about this one, Doug.

I think it's going to happen. That was a good talk. Okay, we've got seven games to play. Let's do it. Now, this first one's called Characters Welcome. I'm going to name the little descriptions of the characters that are in the end titles of a motion picture in no particular order, except I obviously want to not give it away immediately.

Work up to some of the bigger characters you might actually remember. And just guess as often as you like, Jeff and Dan and Jonah. Thank you. And whoever gets it first wins. There's a character in this movie called Pug. Just Pug. Men in Black. No.

Cats and Dogs. Secret Life of Pets. The Truth About Cats and Dogs. Can I just stop for a second and say how refreshing it is that you guys are guessing the names of movies? Because I've played this game with people that just sit there and go no, nothing. They barely try.

Well, it sounds like a dog name. Right? Yeah. Yeah, you guys are playing the game. I'm shocked. Who would have thought? Pets. Deputy Dwayne. Three billboards outside of Ebbing, Missouri.

That's a fun guess. There's also someone called Female Tourist. National Lampoon's European Vacation. Someone called... Is this the same movie? Yeah, it's all from the same movie. Is this Hatchet 3? Bone Tomahawk.

Deputy Dwayne. A couple people. Go ahead. Oh, Scream. No. That was a Oh, Scream. No. That was a good one, too. There's someone in this movie called Sweet Girl. Oh.

Valley Girl. No. No. There's someone who goes by the name. Full title. Full title. There's somebody who goes by Movie Lady. Okay.

Pee Wee Herman's Big Adventure. Oh, that's a good guess. That's a really good guess. There's also Slob Guy. Oh. The Goonies. Slob Guy. No.

That's a mean thing to say about Chunk. He's a great man. Revenge of the Nerds Part 2. I love you, Jeff Cohen. Or Sloth Guy. Sheriff Hooper. Stranger Things the movie, still Stranger.

Cannonball Run. That was good! That's a good one, Jeff! It was good, it was good. You don't even know what Cannonball Run was! That's back when we made movies that we knew sucked before we got there. Keep going, Doug.

Keep going, Doug. That was a full title that Jeff just gave There's someone called The Judge The Judge My cousin Vinny Grandma Grandma's boy National Lampoon's Vacation.

Thank you, Jeff. Someone in the audience yelled out, please don't do that. This is serious shit. Alright, here's the last name, so one of you better spit this out. I got shot down on National Lampoon's Vacation. You know what? I didn't hear it,

but it's wrong. But that's what a friend does. They let you have a little hope. Yeah, and they listen. Yep. The final name, the top name, the top character in this movie. Sad girl. Is named Norman Babcock.

Norman Babcock. Psycho. No. Norman Babcock, Deputy Dwayne. Sheriff Hooper. Due date. Tourist girl. You know what, Doug?

Road trip. Stop from the audience. That's too close to true. I was a bouncer for seven years. I was about to say. And I will make you leave this theater. That's right. Citizen Kane is so close, but not quite

right. Shit. Hold on. I did love that pug in Citizen Kane, though. Can we get some clues? Johnny Dangerously. The clue is awesome. The clue is Jeff Garlin is in this movie. Spring Break! Wait, hold on.

We would have hugged. Wait, tell me the name of the main character. Wally. Norman Babcock. What the fuck movie did I do with Norman Babcock? Was your detective movie a movie? No, that wasn't my movie. What's the one? I Hate People?

No, that wasn't one of my movies. Scarface. Alright, I'm going to have to that wasn't one of my movies. I don't know what movie it is. Scarface. All right, I'm going to have to turn this into... So many good guesses, you guys. What was my character's name? He probably said it. Norman Babcock's friend. Are you Norman Babcock?

I think you were Sweet Girl. Oh, wait a second. No, whoever you were in it, your last name is Babcock. Perry Babcock. Come on. Do you really know my last name is Babcock? Did you relate it to the character? That's why this is fun.

Hold on. Let me just point out something to you. And let me be really, really clear about this. Most movies that I've done, I've never seen. Yeah. I just do them and I get the fuck out of there. But all you need to remember is the character in the movie. Perry Babcock.

Is it Sleepover? No. Are we there yet? One of those ones? It's animated. Is it Sleepover? No. Are we there yet? One of those ones? It's animated. Is that now down? It's not Polly? I know exactly.

It's Paranorman. That is correct. The name Norman is in the title. And you guys are clapping. We had to get to there. So I get the points, correct? Raise your hand if you knew it at some point when I was saying all the names. Did anybody? She said she did. Yeah, one. We had to get to there. So I get the points, correct? Raise your hand if you knew it at some point when I was saying all the names.

Did anybody? She said she did. Yeah, we had one. Okay, cool. Yeah, that's a good movie, by the way. That's the only animated movie I've done outside of Pixar because that company's good. They did Coraline.

Yeah, they're a really good company. They make good movies. All right, cool. Yeah. Good job, Jeff. Thank you. What do I get? You won that game.

Yep. And you get to go first. Yes. In the game that's going to go first. Yes. In the game that's going to determine the winner today. Oh, so, okay. It takes a second. Okay.

This game. All right. It's called Bennington. It's named after my friend Ron Bennington. Oh. Great radio host. Ron Bennington, my manager of the club, my first ever road gig. In Florida. In Florida.

That's right. In Clearwater, Florida, I played a gig for Ron Bennington in 1982. So you go by and see him on his radio show when you're in New York? I have gone by numerous times on his radio show. He's fantastic. Good man. Fucking good man. So he suggested

this game, and so we've been playing it ever since. And it's a movie box office game where, Jeff, I'm going to tell you the name of an actor and you're going to tell me whether that man or woman, you're just going to name what you think might be their biggest grossing movie of all time. Okay, great. After adjusting for inflation. Right.

According to boxofficemojo.com. Got it. And we'll rotate who gets to start each time. We'll start with you, Jeff. Okay. And you each get one guess, but obviously Jeff gets to guess first. I've earned it.

Literally. And if you get one that's anywhere in the top three, you get points for that. And then we'll add it all up and call somebody a winner. Digging it like your beard, man. People can't see that gentleman's beard, but it's a good, solid beard. Well, he's doing Dan Harmon cosplay.

By the way, I first sat down here. Same thing. By the way, I literally sat down and went, is Dan Harmon here? Yeah, he looks like Dan Harmon. He'd sit up front. He would. He'd hang out.

Go ahead. Sit in front of an empty plate. What did you eat? Well, they had the cookies on it. He'd sit up front. He would. He'd hang out. Go ahead. Sit in front of an empty plate. What did you eat? Well, they had the cookies on it. They took the cookies off. They shared the burger. Oh, the cookies are off the plate. You're right.

There's no reason to leave them on the plate. Just push them onto the table. No, those are hers. He had a split. If they stayed on the plate, he might have eaten them. But he moves them off so when she's done with her burger, she gets the cookies. Am I wrong?

No. No. That's love and that's how comic works right there. Go ahead, Doug. Okay. I will. Butterfly. The films? What do you think's in the top three? Hopefully number one. The films that have an appearance by

Mr. Kumail Nanjiani. Okay, so. New movie star. Okay. So... New movie star. Okay. So I would say, because he's whatever, that one Stuber. Okay. I would say Stuber. That just came out, but okay. But by the way, they put more promotion and budget behind it,

so I think even if it didn't do well, it's going to have more money than like the big sick. Okay. Yeah that's my opinion. Alright. You're kind of helping the other players but Dan go ahead. Jonah you have to win this. I don't pay attention to his shit.

It makes me sad. Why? It makes me incredibly sad and jealous. Does he have a weird Al cover? Yeah what is he doing right now? Shooting a fucking Marvel movie, that's what. I know. And that's his problem. I don't want to work out all the time.

Your whole response makes me feel like you'll definitely win this. Men in Black 3. Was he in that? Full title. Oh. Over the Pond. By the way, as someone playing against him...

I think that is the full title. By the way, I accept that as someone playing against him. Men in Black 3, Over the Pond? Good. I fucking accept that. Because you know he was in... Yeah, shut up. I just accepted it.

Don't defend yourself. I don't even know if Doug did, but let's keep going. Jonah. Men in Black International? That's what I meant by full title. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it Fist Fight? It's not the winner either.

He had a small part in a movie, I think like seven or eight years ago, that's pretty big, and I cannot think of what it is. All right, well, maybe you're going to find out right now, because coming in at number three, Men in Black International. Ah. So that's one point for Jonah. Hey, thank you. Coming in at number two Goosebumps

Oh that's right Great grandma's balls And number one Central intelligence Oh which people enjoy I guess they did I didn't know he was in it So you got some points there Jonah

Jonah you got some points there I did He's still my friend I saw central intelligence on a plane I never watched it. So you got some points there, Jonah. Jonah, you got some points there. I did. I did. He's still my friend. I saw Central Intelligence on a plane and I cried. There was a scene where The Rock is getting bullied and then he looks in a reflection and sees himself as like a fat kid when he was growing up

and then I lost it. I had to pause the movie because I was heaving with tears because I felt so bad and it reminded me of myself. By the way, I'm completely believing you because airplanes, when you're trapped, movies have so much more of an emotional impact.

Yeah. By the way, all bad movies should be watched on a plane before they're reviewed. That's why I watched Avengers Endgame. No wonder you liked it. That's why I like it. And I watched it in my living room where I'm at my happiest. In the bikini. No. In the pajamas.

That would be part of the dare. Pajamas and pizza, right. Let's say it's a million dollars. You get a million dollars for doing this or this. I'd fucking watch 20 times. I forgot what movie I even said. Keep going. Titanic, I believe. Next person. Who goes first this time? Dan does. You go third this time.

Okay, good. Gives you time to think. The films of Jack Black. Oh. I know the answer. What do you think, Dan? King Kong. Maybe you'll take the answer away from Jeff. King Kong.

Jonah. Jumanji. Welcome to the jungle. That was said. Jonah. Jumanji. Welcome to the Jungle. That was close. Jeff. Was that the right title? Walk us through it. The Jumanji one? Was that the right title?

Yeah, the recent Jumanji. It's called Jumanji, Welcome to the Jungle. The first one. Not the one a long time ago. Okay, but I think that's the right one. So I'll just throw out there a delightful Jack Black how about

by the way I'm purposely picking a movie that's not the one Pick of Destiny I know it's not in the top three because Jumanji is just going to destroy everything Bernie Tenacious D and the pick of destiny.

Airborne. Airborne, yeah. Airborne. So I know that's not bad. That movie's not bad. No, it's not. Yeah, it's great. Devil's Backbone?

By the way, Jack Black, any movies he's in, I'm in the audience. Fucking love that guy. Any movie. Any movie. You saw The House with the Clock on the Walls? Was that it? I wrote it. That was Eli Roth. Eli Roth wrote it. That was Eli Roth.

Eli Roth wrote it. That's another reason to go see it. Not just because of Jack Marley. No, my pen name is Jizamina. So you see it's written there. The princess of Jizam. See, you're confusing. I didn't say the house with the cock in its walls.

Hey-o! Good night, every nurse. Good night, every nurse. Tell us the three. Go ahead. I'm not going to just tell you the three, Jeff. Oh, by the way, I forgot to say this last night. Big Sick is only at number seven

on Kumail's movies. Where was, whatchamacallit, that stupid Stuber? Stuber is pretty low because it made about $22 million. I really don't understand who somebody went, yeah, it's a great idea. It's one of those. Like if someone came to my office and said, do you want to make

Avengers or Stuber? I would say Stuber. Keep going. So you thought I was going to say Avengers. But no. I'd rather watch Stuber 30 times than Avengers one more time. Without ever having seen Stuber, you're making that commitment.

That's correct, sir. All right. Because at least I can root for the people in it. Keep going. And it's shorter. The films... Wait, oh. Number...

I was going to move on to the next one. This shocked me because it's my favorite Jack Black performance, School of Rock. Number one. Fourteen.

Whoa! I thought it would be high. Yeah, that's why I wrote it down because I was surprised. The point I'm making with you guys. Yeah, that's why I wrote it down, because I was surprised. The point I'm making with you guys, you think that shit is popular, and it's not as popular as you think. Or it's cable popular, and then they make a sequel, and then that blows up, because, you know what I mean?

Like Austin Powers. But that hasn't happened with that movie. Keep going. No, because I don't think they should make a sequel. I think it's perfect. Number three, Ice Age. It's a voice in Ice Age, I guess. I didn't remember that. Those movies are huge. Number two, King Kong. Hey, I'll take it. Two points for Daniel.

And we know number one. Number one is obvious. Go. Number one, yeah, it's Jumanji, Welcome to the Jungle. I mean, that movie is crazy huge. And by the way, that movie is really good, and Jack Black's performance in that movie, in my opinion, was the best performance of that year by far. Any performance by anybody. I take comedy seriously and he played a hot

girl throughout that whole thing. There was never a moment where you didn't believe that he was a fucking hot girl. It was beautiful. Except when you were looking at him the whole time. Sorry because I. Except when you're looking at him the whole time. Sorry, because I... But yeah, you're right. He's great.

No, he was fucking amazing. It's like the greatest performance, I think, in the history of mankind. Teddy Murphy in The Nutty Professor. It's really good. I'm just saying, that performance... He is great in that movie. There is nobody else,

I don't care what great actor you put, who could do what he did in that movie. That should win a Lifetime Achievement Award. Are you excited about him being Dolomite? Very much so. I think that's going to be good. I don't know that I'm excited. I'm a man.

Keep going. Men don't get excited. Tell that to my boner. All right. So, wait. So, who said Jumanji? I did. Alright. So Jonah got three for that. So he's way in the lead here.

That's rare. We need a big comeback from you guys. Dan has two for that. And Jeff is here too. And Jonah gets to go first this time. I mean we're right there. We might as well just say it.

The films of Dwayne Johnson. Oh. Oh. Shit. That's tough. Right? They haven't made a movie for ballers yet, right? Because that would certainly be it. I just saw a billboard.

Like, ballers is a new season starting in a few weeks. I know. Why does he keep doing... Why does he like doing Ballers? Because he just likes fucking working. And he is the fucking rock. And he will do as he pleases. And I swear to God,

I will meet him in the ring any fucking time. But like he could just make, he could just make, he could just make all the movies. Like why is he on this TV show? He doesn't like his family. That's all I can guess. But again, he can make all the movies. Like, why is he on this TV show? He doesn't like his family. That's all I can guess. But again, he can make movie after movie.

What appeals to him about being this sports agent, having an HBO show? Because to him, that's like a thing. But he's not getting awards for it. The show isn't getting awards. It was an early project in his production company, I think, with Berg and Wahlberg. He produces it himself, so that's why you think

he could do it. With Peter Berg and Wahlberg, yeah. So I think it was an establishing project for his production company. I just don't know why you'd want to wear suits and argue about being a sports agent. No, it's a big ball of wrong. I'll keep watching Cordrick. Many levels.

Yeah, I mean, anyway. Okay, go ahead. So this is a tough one because it could be any of the Fast and Furious movies, but I don't know them enough to where which one would be more popular than the other. If you say mine, you stole mine last time.

Does he show up in Hobbs and Shaw? The Rock? I don't know. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it either. I saw it. I saw it. It's great.

Do you remember if he's in it, The Rock? He's in it a lot. Okay. But as much as another guy is in it, the guy who plays the other dude. Statham. Statham. Statham.

Rock. Or would it say Johnson? Yeah. Johnson. But by the way Statham no. Rock it has to say. I can't believe I just asked if he was in Hobbs and Johnson. I loved it. That was one of my favorite jokes of the night. You're responsible for derailing it on that one. But keep going.

It was a very fun movie. I saw it and one of my favorite parts was there's literally someone going like Idris Elba's coming into this like his like control center and a guy's like we hacked into the main frame and I'm like I was like wow that was like a first draft line in there.

It's like it's like put something better. We'll punch it up. Yeah, and I like the idea of it's like he's because he immediately starts talking about what they did to get the information. But like the idea like if like Edger's up was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How'd you get this information? And he's like, oh, well, we hacked into the mainframe. Okay. Thank you for clarifying.

Yeah. You ever see a movie in years later? You go, was there a writer's strike? All right, go put your guess. I'm just gonna fucking say Jumanji welcome to the Jungle. That's a great guess.

Hey, if it's not broken, why change it? Because that's for family, so it'll make more money. Once again, can I just say, fuck you and your guessing. Because you've eliminated me by guessing before me. But I will go with San Andreas. Okay. Okay. I can't with San Andreas. Okay. Okay. I can't fault that answer.

But you can argue with San Andreas. Off mic conversation. Yeah, talk to the audience more, Jeff. Okay. What about you? I will go with The Fate of the Furious. The Fate of the Furious? The Fate of the Furious? Which number was that?

The number always is in the title, right? Why wasn't it called F8? Oh, the F8. Oh, it was? Yeah. F8. Just because that's the only full title I can remember. It's like the movie

Seven. Where there's a seven in the middle of the word seven. I know. And then there's the vvitch. I think the one before that is probably better, but I can't remember the full title. The only other one I know is Walking Tall and it's not Walking Tall. Because I really do take these games seriously.

And they need the proper respect that you three are not giving these games. You need quiet, you need focus, and they need respect. I'm sorry, Jeff. Go ahead, Doug. I don't think it's my turn. You all guessed already? I guessed the right one.

So whatever was on there was probably the one I said. Okay, well, we'll see. You might remember it differently, but you're so stoned all the time. We're going to get to the answer about 10 minutes from now because I'm going to mention things Jeff might want to talk about. If you do, you won't hear anything from me because this is the game and it deserves respect. All right, number three, Jeff.

Jeff. San Andreas? No. The Mummy Returns. Really? Are you fucking kidding me? That piece of shit? Have you seen it?

Have you seen it? Nope. But by the way, as a guy who loves all universal monster movies, I like the original shit. Fuck. They've never made a good remake with any of those monster things.

They're all bullshit. Keep going. Respect the game. What about The Fly with Jeff Goldblum? That was not... That's not a universal monster, though, is it? No, it's not. No, it's just an old monster movie they remade.

But by the way... What about The Thing? That's a remake. But that's not a universal monster. That's not a universal monster movie. What the fuck's wrong with you? And by the way... I think The Thing is a universal movie. The Thing is awesome movie what the fuck's wrong with you and by the way I think the thing is

the thing is awesome and the fly is awesome those are both great movies yeah but they're not universal I was making a point that's like telling me oh the Superman movie sucked

and I said I'm talking about Marvel movies you fucker but I think universal made the thing yeah well they might have but it's not

it's not one of those seven or eight monsters that Jeff's talking about but like so the mummy with Tom Cruise that you agree that was bullshit, right? Did not see it because it was wrong. Yeah. There you go. It was just wrong that they even made it.

And by the way, anyone watch the trailer, that tells you all you need to know. How do you feel about Teen Wolf? That's a good updating of Werewolf Story. It's not. You hate Teen Wolf 2? I've not seen it. As well? Also.

I've not seen it. I've not seen any of the Teen Wolves. You didn't like The Mummy, the one with Brendan Fraser, the first one, not Return. Yeah, the one with Brendan Fraser, the first one's good. The very original.

No. Yeah, it's great. The one with Boris Karloff is the one I'm talking about, you young fuckers. Yeah, they did a good job with that first one. People are so scared

of black and white. Rachel Weisz, Kevin O'Connor's really good. And by the way, Rachel Weisz is a delight. Where'd you meet her? At a gentle lovemaking festival. By the way,

I've never met Rachel Weisz, but she's a delight. God damn it, I'm going to the wrong lovemaking festival. Like the gentle one, I passed because I was like, that she's a delight. God damn it, I'm going to the wrong lovemaking festival. Like, the gentle one I passed because I was like, that doesn't sound fun. It's not as good as the Burbank lovemaking festival.

Of course, which happens. That one's out of control. Talk about traffic. I went to the Midsummer one. It was not as good. Oh, no. You didn't get out of there alive unless you were in a bear. Number two.

Number two. See, that was my new strategy, is to get Jeff impatient with me talking for too long. It works when it comes to the game, because it deserves respect. Number two is Furious Seven. Is that all it's called? Yeah.

Fuck. Shit, that probably means I'm wrong. Yeah, I would have not said it right. I think they should have called it All Furious Sevens Go to Heaven. There you go. By the way, if that was the title, would have gone. And then, you know, I've just been

hesitating to say this because it's sort of a foregone conclusion that The Rock's number one movie is Jumanji. Welcome to the jungle. Our winner today is Jonah Ray. That's never happened. I've never won. You've never won?

I've never won. Dreams come true at the Burbank Comedy Festival. Burbank Comedy Festival, I'm so sorry. I treated you like shit. Jonah, I've only won. This is my first losing experience, and I want to reach my hand across the stage and shake your hand, mister. Thank you so much.

You deserve it. You're a good man, a funny man. I love what you've done with Weird Al, but I love the way you look sitting next to Doug Benson. And if I could tell you listeners one thing, Doug Benson sparkles on stage. And let me tell you something, Jonah sitting next to him should not even be noticed,

and today he is noticed. There are sparkles coming from three gentlemen to my left. I unfortunately have no sparkle in me today. I'm a little bit overtired. I was working at the dreidel factory until 2 a.m. last night. I'm very tired.

And then I had to drive. You're still making those out of clay? Yes. And I had to drive through. And they're not dry and ready yet. You're going right back after this. I'm going right back to check, make sure they're dry and ready because I'll take them out to play. I don't even sell them. I just play with them.

But let me just say something. The Burbank Comedy Festival is what holds this country together. And the fact that they're not letting a certain senator or a member of the House of Representatives come and visit the Burbank Comedy Festival that Trump called and said, I don't want those ladies coming to the Burbank Comedy Festival. And the Burbank Comedy Festival should be ashamed of themselves

for not letting those ladies in. They should be allowed to enjoy the delight that we near the Burbank area call the Burbank Comedy Festival. Anybody that wants to tweet about this episode, be sure to use the hashtags crazyguttgutt or hashtag bytheway. And I have one more. I have a tiebreaker. I think it would just be fun to throw it out there.

Tiebreaker. Oh, please. Because of the coincidental nature of it. Did you just smoke some weed? Yeah. Because have a tiebreaker. I think it would just be fun to throw it out there. Tiebreaker. Oh, please. Because of the coincidental nature of it. Did you just smoke some weed? No, because your sunglasses are on. Did you do vape? Did you do an edible? What the fuck's going on here? I put the sunglasses on because I'm about to go outside.

Okay. Just gearing up for it. I'm going to stay in the dressing room and take a nap. Keep going. So this was going to be the tiebreaker, but Jonah ran away with it, so it doesn't matter. So I'm just going to say the name of the... In fact, Jeff, you go first, because we're back to you. Okay. The films of Karen Gillan.

I don't know who that is. I got it. Which is interesting, because she's in your favorite Jack Black movie. She's opposite him in your favorite performance of all time. Oh, she's, then I'd say Jumanji. Perfect. Can I go? Jumanji. She's Jumanji lady. Welcome to the jungle.

Okay, that's your answer? Yep. Okay, Dan? Avengers Endgame. Yeah, of course. It's the highest grossing movie of all time. Is she in it? Yeah. Nebula. Who's Nebula? Oh, she's the one who's like Gamora's sister. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because that was a good point in the story. They won't know who I am if I put this on my head. Boy, she makes the Avengers look fucking dumb, man. All creatures here below. Oh, that didn't make the top. Can I change my answer? No. Avengers Endgame.

That's Dan's answer. I know, but it's high school. Also, we're not even playing anymore. I know, but it matters to me because the game is to be taken seriously. Number 10 is a movie that I enjoy very much for Karen. If you haven't seen it, check out In a Valley of Violence. It's got one of the best screen dogs in it. She was in Stuber.

That's number eight on her list. But number one, of course, is Avengers Endgame. Number two, Avengers Infinity War. And then her three, number three is Jumanji. That's how big those Avengers movies are. But that wouldn't have helped them? Huge.

Can I ask a question? Do you have a list of mine a list of your movies no the top grossing ones well Box Office Mojo just I don't want to say it's random but like some actors you look up they don't do it for them

so I don't know if they do it for you I've checked so what are your top three you think I don't know I don't see my movies I forget do you know what your known fours are on IMDb? Cock Johnson in the Cock Johnson story. Ben Vereen in the Cock Johnson story.

And Miss Natalie Cole in the Cock Johnson story. I think your top three, Jeff, would be... Number one would be Toy Story 3. Number two would be WALL-E. And number three would be Toy Story 3. Number two would be WALL-E and number three would be Toy Story 4 with a bullet. All Pixar, I think. By the way, I'm about to

break all my records this coming Christmas. Oh, really? I'm in a big fucking movie. I thought you were just going to destroy all your vinyl. No, the biggest movie of the year, I am in. There'll be a toy of me and my character has a name even though I don't know it.

The things I'm going to do to that toy. What's the movie called? I actually don't even know but it's... So it's a secret movie? Are you doing a Nolan movie? No, it'll be the biggest movie of the year. And that's all you can tell us about it?

Anyone knows what that is. The next Jumanji movie. Nope. Hold it. No, not. One movie is coming out in December that will probably gross. Star Wars. I didn't say it.

And maybe somebody is enabling. Are you the guy in Star Wars that's like. Like Judah Friedlander was? I'm like, is that Judah? Yeah, that was. Are you the guy that goes Wars that's like... Like Judah Friedlander was? I'm like, is that Judah? Yeah, that was him. Are you the guy that goes, that's worth four potions? Or are you going to go, that's my ship! I'm not saying.

Are you doing a belly flop contest in it? Yeah! By the way, that would be awesome. I played Crazy Gut Gut, and I just appeared floating in space. That would be awesome. Well, we have to make way for more exciting shows here at the comedy festival at Flappers.

Jeff Garland, do you have anything you want to plug? I know you're not a guy that goes around plugging stuff. I am far too successful not to worry about

plugging on your fucking show. Exactly. All the things that I do, it will not make a difference. It's not going to make a difference. I mean, I can't help the make a difference. It's not going to make a difference. I mean, I can't help the Star Wars franchise. It's dying on its own.

I do have a new Netflix special called Our Man in Chicago. Watch for that. Oh. Yeah. And Curb is coming back. We filmed that already. And I have my first photo show at the Leica Gallery in January. Everything's in January,

so anyone listening to this in January, head on out and see what I'm doing. But by the way, in all sincerity, that's the first time. Hashtag by the way. Hashtag Jeff Garlin's lemonade stand. We'll be back out probably in the October area. Wayne, where do you do that?

Do you do that here? It'll be all over. It'll be here. All over town, all over the world? I'm going to do it in front of your house one day. Oh, neat. Oh, I totally am. How many glossies are you going to have at your photo show?

Oh, glossies? Hold on, let me call my agent. Hold on, I apologize. Hello? Yeah, Sal? Listen, how many of my photo show, how many glossies should we give out? What the hell are you talking about? Who just said something? It's a photo show, how many glossies should we give out? What the hell are you talking about?

Who just said something? It's a photo show. You don't hand out your glossies. You sell the pictures that you took. You should not be in any of the pictures. If they're a selfie, then you're... HQ's about to start. I'm not going to miss it for this.

By the way, here's what I'd like to plug. I want to plug Mindhunter. What's it called? Yeah, Mindhunter. Hey, Jeff, next time try BTW. It's fun to abbreviate. Mindhunter. Mindhunter on Netflix.

Save 10 minutes. I like that show. Let me plug that. The time we could have saved on this show if he said BTW. I know. Dan, Dan Van Kirk, tell us what you got coming up uh if you're in la on uh august 29th thursday at eight o'clock i'll be running my hour uh at ucb theater so anybody here in this room that wants to come go to the ucb franklin location on the 29th running

your hour are you doing a special yes for who well i we are recording it for my album oh for your album yeah you're making an album i am look at you you your album? Yeah. You're making an album? I am. Look at you, you fucker. Thanks. Going back in time, making an album. Fuck the special. I'm going to make an album. I know.

People are going to listen and use their imaginations. I would love it. I say good for you, you fuckhead. Thank you. And I say fuck him with all, like, love.

I know. The album's called Good For You, You Fuckhead. By the way, great title. It actually is a pretty good title. And then, in September, on the 9th at Largo,

doing a live Dumb People Town with the Sklar Brothers, and I'm headlining in Jacksonville, Florida, at the Comedy Zone the 12th through the 14th of September, and then the beginning of October doing the Red Clay Comedy Festival, and Rory Scoville and I will both be there doing stand-up, so we're going to do a live pen pal at that. Can I say something about all your work? Yeah.

It's amazing you can keep track. I know. You're a young person with a sharp mind. Keep going. Oh, thanks so much. And then I will be the 13th of October doing a live Dumb People Town at the Bell House in Brooklyn, and then the 14th up until the 16th, I'll be dates on Daniel Van Kirk,

and then the 16th, or the, yeah, the 16th through the 19th, I am headlining Zany's in Chicago. Oh, look at that. Go to Daniel Van Kirk. And then the 16th, or the, yeah, the 16th through the 19th, I am headlining Zanies in Chicago. Oh, look at that. Go to Daniel Van Kirk for all those dates. And there's a lot of tour dates around then as well. Hold on, hold on. What's a date you're going to be in Chicago? I will be at Zanies the 16th through the 19th of October.

Of October. I might be there because I have fair season tickets. Ooh, let's go to a Cubs playoff game. By the way, maybe the World Series will be over at that point. No, it will not. It'll be two weeks away. October? Middle of October? Don't you understand they're playing them all in one day this year? Oh, shit.

Finally, get it the fuck over with. So go to DanielVanKirk.com. There's a lot of other dates in the Midwest and the East Coast in and around October and November. I hope I see you there. And he's funny. He's a good man, so go see him all. Right on. Jonah Ray. I got that Weird Al EP. You Can't Call Me Out. It's out on all digital platforms.

How did someone get a hold of it? They wanted to buy an actual... Well, we sold out of the vinyl pressing. Oh, it's all gone. Yeah, so we're going to repress the vinyl. But right now it's available digitally and on cassette through Burger Records out of Fullerton. They got that going.

And then I'm also, I got a, my podcast Jonah Radio. If you have a band or you're a musician of any sort, we take submissions and play. We're on the Sklarbro Country Network. They have their own podcast network? Yeah. Look at those twin fuckers. Twin fuckers sound like guys that fuck twins.

It's a great indie band. Jeff really spices up the plugs part of the show. He does. Doug loves movies. Oh! Wait, I wasn't done! Doug, he's not me. Let Jonah finish. You know,

I'm almost equally mad at all three of you. But Doug, I'm not mad at you. You sparkle. You're a fucking great fuck. I heard about that earlier in the show, and I love hearing about it over and over again. I'm curious. I want to know.

Thank you so much. I was just going to take the opportunity to thank Doug for having me on the podcast. It really means a lot to me. But, yeah, okay. Yeah, I'm glad I cut that off. Do you really have anything else? No, and then also...

Oh, Jesus. Mystery Science Theater 3000 is also... No, Jesus. Mystery Science Theater 3000. You just said no, I don't. Douglas... By the way, Doug... God fucking damn it! Turn his mic off. No, here's mine.

You ready? Douglas Movies is at... I've got to say this, Jeff, and we're done. We're done. Let me say that one thing. God damn it. I did this to you once before.

Give me your fucking microphone. Remember how we fought over the microphone that one time? Do you remember this? Do you remember? Doug Loves Movies is coming to Good Nights in Raleigh, North Carolina on Saturday, August 24th. And we'll be back at UCB Franklin on Tuesday, August 27th at 8 o'clock.

As always, positive energy! Yes! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies!