Doug Loves Movies - Josh Wolf, Jacob Sirof and Sean Jordan guest

Episode Date: August 21, 2017

Live from the Tacoma Comedy Club, Doug welcomes Josh Wolf, Jacob Sirof and Sean Jordan to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. Could this microphone be a little hotter maybe, possibly, please? Just a little more. Oh, I like it. Oh, look, Statler and Waldorf are here.

You better keep your dumb Muppet mouths shut for the entire show. Because my name is Doug and I love movies. You guys weren't entirely together on that. Some of you thought, oh, this is the part where we cheer and others knew to do the song. So I don't want you thought, oh, this is the part where we cheer, and others knew to do the song. So I don't want you to, you know,

I don't want other cities to think they're better than you, Tacoma. So let's do it one more time. My name is Doug, and I love movies! This is Doug Loves Movies! See, that time you did it. You did it. Everybody was on the same page. We're here once again

at the Tacoma Comedy Club in Tacoma, Washington! Yeah! I'm always, like, arranging things last minute because I always feel bad for when side seats can't see everything that's going on. So I think we're in the clear now.

We're good. You won't be able to see my guests, but you'll get a good look at my dick for the entire... There you go, buddy. It's Saturday, August 19th, 420-ish, 2017. And this is our 55th show this year. Not all of them got to be heard. I don't know how many days till Ragnarok,

but I do know that I like to see some name tags. I knew that you guys wouldn't disappoint. Brandon, your name's Brandon? Brandon of the dead. That is a bit of a reach. But Point Jake is spot on. I already saw this Terminator with my face. Like, can you imagine if Terminator was this friendly? That is ridiculous. Good job. The Tierra-minator. Your name's Tierra? That's really your first name, Tierra? Okay, princess. Oh my God, there's so many good ones I saw Jason Amy today

On the internet, that's a good one Thank you to everybody For bringing so many amazing signs And My three guests are going to have a hard time Choosing Doug Pluggs My new album, Lexington 5717

Is now available For download only. Sorry, people who like to hold things. At the low, low price of $3.99, yes, I'm out of my mind. In the comedy album section of iTunes, or I guess it's also maybe on Spotify or Amazon. I don't know. Just look for it. Buy it.

Listen to it for free. Whatever the fuck. I don't care anymore. This is my message today. Chicagoland and the Bay Area. I need you to come out. Chicago to Talia Hall on this Wednesday,

August 23rd for Doug Loves Movies. And then San Francisco, I need you to come to the Castro Theater for the Benson movie interruption of Fifty Shades Darker. Like, either of those shows, if I did them here, you guys would pack the place, right? These assholes in Chicago.

Can you imagine somebody listening in Chicago, hey, Tacoma thinks we should go to this show. And I really like the attitude of the Pacific Northwest. So I'm going to go. But anyway, it's at the Castro Theater,

Saturday, August 26th, one week from today, at 420. It's going to be super fun, but these are both huge venues, and they'll never let me play those places again if I don't at least get, like, half full. And then I've got shows coming up in Cleveland, Denver, Boise, Portland, Atlanta, and San San Diego but I'm not worried about those because they're not they're just regular-sized videos so come on Chicago in San Francisco enough whining just go to douglasMovies.com StuntLosMovies.com Yeah! Oh my god.

I'm glad I wasn't wearing a toupee because it would have flown off. You guys are into it. Oh, and if you're a member of CineFamily in Los Angeles, be sure to go to CineFamily.org and RSVP for a free screening of Goon, Last of the Enforcers, the

Goon sequel on Wednesday, August 30th at 7.30 and this Goon, meaning me, is going to be there and there will also be a Q&A with Goon from the movie. Hashtag

schedules permitting. Let's look in the prize bag, you guys. I got a big, lovely... Big, lovely Nordstrom bag. And in it, of course, is a Douglas Movies T-shirt. And... Uh...

Yeah. Wee wee! Wee wee! A signed blue card from Getting Dug With High. I know there's some stoners in this crowd. A copy of my album Promotional Tool.

The new album is digital only, as I mentioned earlier. A DVD screener copy of, did you guys enjoy the Dennis Quaid, Scar Jo movie that also had past and future Douglas Movies guests,

Toe for Grace, in good company. Yeah, that's a solid, that's a solid motion picture in the DVD format. We got a Peacemaker pipe that's only been used once. Oh, no! This is a disaster. I almost spilled my Tito's.

This is a disaster. I almost spilled my T-toes. You know that old expression, T-totaler, when somebody's a T-totaler? I'm a T-toes-totaler. But this is pretty awesome. Where's the person that gave me this Funko stuff? Where are you at? Right here.

Right here. What's your name, dude? Wait, what? Suddenly your voice is less... Like it's super different. Are you Jeff Dunham with two different puppets on your lap? But anyway, I got this note from the awesome Funko company.

You know, they make those big-headed dolls, the pop vinyl dolls. And they have a book that's amazing pictures of all the dolls. It's a really nice coffee table book. And so that's in the bag tonight. With a note that says, the book is signed by CEO of Funko, Brian Masiotti. Is that how you say it? Mariotti? Oh, that looks like an S, dude.

I hope you don't get fired. I hope he's not a mean CEO. But anyway, it's signed by him. Hope he's not a mean CEO. But anyway, it's signed by him. And also, he included some really cool of the actual dolls. And so what's your affiliation with the company? It's your wife?

My wife. I said your wife. At the very least, yell back, your wife at the very least yelled back your wife but don't do that don't do those things also they have a lot of candy backstage some Hershey's and Whoppers and shit so I threw some of that in the bag

but the pop figures are a Frodo Baggins that's like, but he's all clear for some reason. It's like invisible Frodo. Does that happen in the? Yeah. Okay. When it comes to Hobbit movies and Lord of the Rings, I take a nap during the middle hour.

And then... This was really cool. I almost kept this for myself. This is National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. It's Clark Griswold and Cousin Eddie. Yes! So yeah, so they gave me a couple more that I'm going to keep for future prize bags,

because, you know, there's no reason for you guys to get greedy. But this book is probably the most amazing thing, and it's super heavy. But we also are going to get gifts, prize bag inclusions from all of my guests

who are waiting patiently in the wings. So let's bring them out here now. Yes. Please give a big warm welcome to Sean, Jordan, Josh, Wolf, and Jacob Searoth! Hi, hi.

Hey, Doug. Is that the judge's table? What's going on over there? What happened? Yeah, there's kind of a... There's a weird table set up there. And it doesn't help that this lady's name tag is hanging around her neck. Yeah.

Like it could be a sign that says numbers on it to rate the performances. But that's probably just so you didn't forget it when you left the house. Just put it around your neck. Like a child. I think it looks fantastic. I want to sign up for the All-Valley Karate Tournament

at that desk. Where? The All-Valley Karate Tournament? Yeah. Goddamn right. I'm trying to move on. Where are the people that said they left their name tags in the car? You guys.

And I wrote back to you, go get your name tags. Did you go get them? Okay, good, good. It's like, what the fuck kind of excuse is that? They're in the car. You know, yeah, you got, you know, you... I mean, yeah,

maybe the car's in Seattle. Maybe the car was too far away, but congratulations on retrieving your name tags. And I'm sorry I brought it up. It would have been more fun to yell at you if you hadn't gone and gotten your name tags. And also, seriously, dude,

what time do you have to get out of here to get to the Seth Rogen look-alike contest? Seriously, stand up and show everybody. I'm not fucking around. Yeah. You know what, Doug? You know what my theory is? Is that most of America

is just all starting to look like Tom Segura. Like, you know what I mean? Like, everybody kind of looks like Tom Segura right now. Just a different version of him. And there he is right there. Yeah, we're all just a bunch of cuddly furry bears. Yeah. Let's start meeting my guests individually,

starting with the man directly to my right. It's Sean Jordan, everybody. Hi. How you doing dude? I'm doing fantastic I heard you had a hot show in Seattle last night Fucking goose egg Nobody showed up What?

Not one person we had to call it And I went to an open mic and didn't do a set Wow what a night This is a lot more fun Alright I'm glad this worked into your schedule to do a fun thing after that shitty night that you had. I had a good night, but nobody came to the show.

Oh, okay. But it ended up being a good night. It's fun to hang out in Seattle. Yeah, it's fun. Why not? Yeah. All right. Don't sugarcoat that shit, Doug.

That sounds terrible. A show by yourself? Oh my god. I would carry a noose in my fucking car. Are you kidding me? I'd have to carry another noose in my car. Yeah.

That sounds like a worse night. Two nooses. Nobody fucking came. Did you hear Sean got a backup noose? He's getting pretty serious about ending it. I just really need to make sure it goes down when I want it to go down. Maybe people will show up for my goddamn funeral.

Yeah. All right, well, thanks for being here, dude. I needed it. It takes a lot for somebody to out-pathetic me. So thanks, Sean. All right, well, it's your turn. Give it a go. Jacob Searoff is here!

I can't... I can't complain. My life's going great compared to Sean. Didn't have a show last night. Let's not rip on me the whole time. How about that? I mean... Yeah, we didn't have a show last night.

We just got to hang out at Dorky's. At Dorky's? Yeah, then I... Is there opinion still mixed about Dorky's? Yes! Oh, no. Dorky's is okay. I love pinball games.

What's mixed about... Let's not get into it. All right. Why don't people like dorkies? The owner's racist. That explains all the tiki torches. I thought it was just a Polynesian motif they were going for.

Oh, I thought that meant Jews will not replace us at Street Fighter. Yeah. I like that place because they put a picture of me smoking a fat blunt on the wall

in a family arcade i also have to tell you the last the last thing i would think a racist would name his place is dorkies do you know what i mean it's so nice he's he's like racist racist like in the street calling people wait wait wait but is there is there a chance there's like different management or ownership or something? No, it's simple. Because I keep hoping. Because he was really nice to me last night. Do you know why?

There were people on both sides of Dorky's, okay? There were five people. There are many sides to what's going on over at Dorky's. Believe me. We were there. So you tell us every time you're here. I know it comes up every time

and I feel bad every time because I know I'm really torn. Right, Cricklin? Does it make you feel better to know that I don't have to spend any money while I'm there? That it gives me everything for free? So I'm there. It gives me everything for free.

So I'm not really supporting. I'm going to go back tonight and spit on him. And hopefully he'll wipe it off and give me some quarters. Call up him out of business. All right. So yeah, so sorry. Sorry, dorkies

and people who hate dorkies. I apologize to everyone. It's a good blanket, everybody. Just kind of... Yeah, we're all right. It's a good blanket Everybody Just kind of Also joining us on this stage For the I don't know how many Time on this show But he's a frequent visitor

And he's in town this weekend Headlining this very club Yes That's why I'm here People are like are you here for HempFest? No, I'm here for JoshWolfFest. It's JoshWolf, everybody! Thank you. Now, listen.

I do want to say, so anybody who's at this show right now, if you want to come to the late show, the early show, you won't be able to fit. You want to come to the late show, you can get, you buy one ticket, you can get one for free. Did you just call them fat? What? You said they wouldn't fit.

You're not gonna fit. The early show's almost sold out. But the Late Show, if you wanna come back, we'll give you a two-for-one ticket if you were here. Come on. Okay? Thank you. Yeah, so get fucking high with me

out on the sidewalk after the show. Yeah. And then sleep in your car for a few hours. Yeah. And then come see Josh. That's what I'm going to do. Yeah. Wait, no, you have an early show.

Oh, that's right. Fuck, yeah. You got to do the early show. Yeah. Now, I walked by Dorky's a couple times and never went in. But because they have the...

I'm a Galaga fan. So then they have Galaga in the green room. So I don't have to go to Dorky's. Yeah, but it's, you know, it's not the Galaga. It's not the real Galaga. It's that one that has like 30 games on it. Yeah, but it's also like the controls are very slow. It's harder Galaga.

How many levels have you got through in the green room? Oh, I die once, and I'm like, fuck this! And I walk out. But I like a Ms. Pac-Man. I really like pinball. Oh, do you? And they got a ton of pinball in there. I like a pinball.

That's what draws me in. Do you give the pinball the shake when you play? No. I mean, I'll fuck the coin slot, but... if it's an older machine. If it's one that just takes bills, I can't... Yeah, yeah, it's harder. It's harder, yeah.

I'll fuck the machine. I slap the flippers a lot. I slap the flippers hard to make things happen. What's your favorite pinball game? Are you like a... Hands down, Funhouse. Oh, really?

Yeah. Watch the clock. And there's like a ventriloquist dummy head that if you knock, when his mouth is open when he's sleeping, he goes... And he opens his mouth. If you knock the ball into his mouth while he's sleeping,

he chokes on it, spits it up, and then you get triple ball play. And who doesn't like triple ball play? I am so tired of double ball play. I'm all triple ball play now, Doug. Take me out of the doldrums of double ball play. All right, so we met everybody.

Good to see you guys. Three of the best guests, I dare say. Yeah, you're welcome, Tacoma. You're right. Thank you. Oh, I fucking left my phone plugged in in the green room. Yeah, do you need it? I was going to bring it up, but I didn't want to be a dick.

I don't need it that bad. I just need to know what time it is. Statler, Waldorf, what time you got? That's about 10-2. I probably brought this up also the last time I was here, in addition to Dorky's, but it's so fun when a comedy club tells

the audience not to yell out during the show and then puts dolls of two of the most famous hecklers of all time in a balcony spot. I never thought about that. It's kind of cross purposes to have the famous hecklers standing

by. And at the very least, you know, get somebody to put their hand up one of them and talk some shit every once in a while. That would be amazing. Can you imagine during your show tonight if all of a sudden, I'm kind of... If I looked up there

and you were sitting in that chair, like... That would be amazing. That could easily happen. They should sell that seat. I'd be like, I can't sit through any more of this because I'm hungry like the wolf.

Come back for the late show. That'll happen. It has to. Two for one late show, everybody. But that means both of you have to stay. Can't do any of this two for one shit where one of you leaves. Well, you can, but then it's just one-for-one.

Yeah. And it's not really a deal. No, I bet the free one would come in and the paid one would leave. Oh, got it, got it, got it, yeah. That still doesn't make any sense. All right. Not one bit, not one bit.

So let me, I'll go get my phone when you guys are picking name tags. But what is the last motion picture you saw, Sean Jordan? I saw, I watched Lucky Number Slevin the other night. Fuck yeah. People love Lucky Number

Slevin. It's super good. It's one of my favorite movies. So it's the sequel to Seven. It's where the good things happen. No, I'm sorry. It's the sequel to Slevin. But yeah, I didn't like that movie. Maybe I should revisit it. I mean, yeah.

Why didn't you like it? Yeah, people are like, what? Drop it on me. I know. Yeah, no, there's plenty of... Did you hear all those people that didn't make a sound when the title came up? There's plenty of people that are indifferent to it. Do you guys like it?

I've never seen it. No idea what you're talking about. Get the fuck out of here. That's what I'm saying. So maybe we're all wrong. It's a popular Josh Hartnett vehicle. Nobody's ever said that before. Do you understand the words that are coming out of your mouth?

It's a very popular Josh Hartnett. There's no such thing. The biggest Josh Hartnett. There's no such thing. Yeah, that's... Lucy Liu's family. The biggest Josh Hartnett movies have other people in it that could take the... It's their vehicle title. Not this one, Doug. It's got a Josh Hartnett.

Josh Hartnett's the big sell. He's Slevin, you see. I'd call it more of a Lucy Liu vehicle. Is she in it? Lucy Liu. Okay, good. Your boy Bruce Willis is all about it. My boy? Now I'm

responsible? It's got your boy Morgan Freeman. It's got your boy Stanley Tucci. Well, he is my boy. I mean, I wouldn't say it to him. Loved March of the Pengins, my boy. I would be in desperate need of a Shawshank Redemption if I did that. All right, so...

Lucky number 11. Thank you for that. Lucky number 11. Check it out. Pretty good. Get back to me. Let me know. Josh Wolfe. back to me let me know uh josh wolf well i do a podcast with a guy named freddie prince jr yes and

i i had never seen any of his movies besides scooby-doo besides movies besides scooby-doo that's what i said right and i saidDoo, I told him. So he tied you down and made you watch one? Well, I said, you know what? Summer catch. I'm going to watch one of your movies. So I watched I Know What You Did last summer. Classic. And I got to tell you.

It's a prequel to Scooby-Doo. It's not terrible. It really isn't. But said it was terrible. It's got two of the best tits in the game. That's what I'm saying. It's like Scream meets Fish Sticks. Jennifer Love Hewitt is like,

come and get me! She really puts them out there. Yeah, there's a couple running scenes in that movie that really should have been nominated for something. Best Black Eyes? Best Gravity. It was eyes. Best gravity. It was amazing. But yeah, so I watched it

and I liked it. I really did. I liked it. So, I mean, I was super high, but I liked it. I liked it a lot. Well, yeah, that's fine. Well, your assignment

for the next time you're on this show, because I think you're going to, I'll see you again like maybe in Portland or something, is watch I Still Know What You Did

last, what was it called? I Still Know What You Did. I Still Know What You Did, what was it called? I Still Know What You Did. I Still Know What You Did last summer. That's the laziest fucking title of all time. I still know. I still have a slight recollection of what you did several summers ago. It's been like a decade.

I'm starting to forget what you did 10 summers ago. I have no idea what you did last summer. But watch the sequel and let us know if it is good as far as sequels go. You got it. All right. I don't want to wreck it for you, but I have an opinion. Do you think it falls off? I don't want to wreck it.

You go ahead and watch it. We'll talk about it. Well, then, okay. I'm on the edge of my seat. Why are you saying, hey, I've got something, I've got a thing, but I'm not going to...

Yeah. You can say it. You can just not say any of that. You can say it. It won't affect the way I go into the movie. I didn't like it. Okay.

Oh, shots fired. I couldn't tell by the way you were leading it in there. We all had that figured out. Brandy Norwood's in it, though. We all knew it. Who? Brandy.

Brandy, you're a fine girl. Brandy Norwood. Brandy Norwood. Yeah. Did you know that was her last name? No, because she was always just Brandy. Yeah. Yeah.

She's a fine girl. Well, then she turned into a very serious actress, and you call her Brandy Norwood. Are you guys talking about Ray J's sister? That's how I know her. Yeah. A porno with your clothes on? Come on.

What was the last movie you saw, Jacob? I'm going to go even back further than these guys. I've been so Twin Peaks obsessed lately, so I've been watching Fire Walk with me a lot. I've seen that, like, Fire Walk with me, the Twin Peaks movie. I watch that a few times every year, but I've been watching it a lot recently just because

it ties into what's going on in the show so much. I was in Snoqualmie last night. Isn't that like Twin Peaks area? Yeah. Did anybody show up besides you or was it just you? Fuck you, dude. I heard you had some snow qualms with the sequel. Do I know what you did last summer?

My cord isn't long enough, otherwise I'd be... Everybody would remember what I did last summer. All right, I'll ask my other question if time is permitting at the end of the show. That'll be interesting. But right now, I feel like it's time to say, let the games begin! Name tags, come out of the shadows.

Wow, that guy, people are standing up. All right, you guys. Go pick a name tag while we go to a commercial break. We'll be right back. Hey there, it's Doug Benson from Doug Loves Movies. I just wanted to let you know that all nine seasons of Doug Loves Movies are now on Stitcher Premium.

Plus, your bonus episodes and the Benson interruption completely ad-free. There's over 1,000 hours of podcasts exclusively on Premium. To listen, tap the ad on your screen or go to the Premium section of your app now. All right, we're back. That was an exhausting one. Holy cow. Who are you playing for, Jacob? Okay, I'm playing for the Empire.

Mike's back. He did a great job on this, but there's a couple things I got to say, though. I'm not on it, which is fine. I'm trying to be less of a narcissist on the show, and there's a couple things I gotta say, though. I'm not on it, which is fine. I'm trying to be less of a narcissist on the show. And it's just you and I guess Mike and his girlfriend or Esther Kuh. I don't know. Or unless you're, maybe it's both. Maybe you're dating Esther Kuh.

But there's signatures of you and another guest of the show, Mark Wahlberg, signed them. And so it makes me think it's been used already. I don't know if that's against the rules. I feel like that's kind of... It's already been chosen, but... It's been chosen, but it's good enough. It's interesting that it got chosen again. Yeah, he's a two-time champion.

You know, you like it because it's a Star Wars thing. Yeah, and then it was well done. I mean, it's canvas and stuff, or whatever this is. All right, enough with the excuses. Just pick a fucking name tag. I picked it. This is the one I picked. There's no excuse.

Shut the fuck up about it. There's no excuse. I just thought I should... It's noteworthy. Did you win the prizes last time? It didn't get picked. I's no excuse. Shut the fuck up about it. There's no excuse. I just thought I should... It's noteworthy. Did you win the prizes last time? It didn't get picked. I met you outside the club.

It didn't even get picked, so settle down, Jacob. Okay. Well, you know. That was a very clear voice. Very clear and to the point. Well, some of the audience members have microphones.

Clearly not the guy associated with Funko, but... But others do. All right, what do you got there, Josh? I got planes, shanes, and automobiles. And look, there were a lot of good ones out there tonight, but for me, this is one of my favorite comedies of all time. So it was an absolute no-brainer, and that makes me laugh.

Yeah, it's really cool that it's you and me on there. We got to get a picture of that. That's pretty good. That's expertly Photoshopped. So often they put a head in there that isn't looking in the right direction, or is not to scale. Because also, my head is truly much bigger than yours.

It really looks good. Great job, Shane. I think it's a really good one. It's a good job. I like it. And Sean, what do you got? Dallas of the Mohicans? The last.

The last of the Mohicans. The Last. The Last of the Mohicans. What a dipshit I am. I just said Dallas. You've never heard of Dallas Buyers Club? You've never heard of North Dallas 40? Stick up for yourself, Dallas. You've never heard of the porn Dallas to mouth? Debbie does Dallas?

Debbie does Dallas. And then he brought King's Hawaiian Sweet Rolls, which is a reference to a podcast that I do, so I was excited about that. But you like them in general? I love them in general. They're the fucking best. Do a plug for the podcast instead of Podcast I Do.

It's called All Fantasy Everything, and I do it with Ian Carmel and David Borey, and it's fantastic. It's a good one. I'm going to be on it soon, I think. Maybe someday soon. Maybe. We're working on it. We're trying to find a date.

Dallas of the Mohicans. I like the way the audience applauds for the name tags you guys did pick. They don't feel so bad about not getting chosen that they can't appreciate the ones that do get chosen. Thank you, that. It's a bunch of grown-ups.

It just feels like reasonableness is not a hallmark of society these days. Seems like flying off the handle about shit is the way to go. And this is a mellow crowd and I like it. Let's start with Purple Rain Man. Purple Rain man, Josh, because Jacob and Sean get it.

You're the only one. You're the only one that doesn't know how it works. You're going to have to explain all the games to me. Yeah, I will. I'll be happy to after the show. I'll tell you everything you did wrong. Now with Purple Rain Man, you know, you understand that Purple Rain Man is two titles pushed together.

Purple Rain Man. Yeah. And that the stars of that movie would be Prince and Dustin Hoffman. Yeah. That's all you need to know. But if I had said Prince and Tom Cruise I would have got that wrong? You would have no reason to say that Because I would say Prince and Dustin Hoffman

And then you'd guess Purple Rain Man Oh, got it That's what you're trying to guess is the mashup movie title I'm going to give you the third build people From the first title and the second title Then the second build and then the first build And one of these guys is going to get it And we're going to get it

Before I say anything then the second build and then the first build and one of these guys is going to get it. We're going to get it. Before I say anything. So you guys have heard me on the show before. It was on its way out of my mouth. If you've heard you on any show. Foregone conclusions are also very popular these days a.k.a. McGregor Mayweather. Right? I said it. It's a foregone conclusion.

One of them will win. It's a very true story. Very true. And not the white one. Actually, there's an occasional... What'd you say? Not the white one. The white one?

The white one will not win. Oh, okay. You got some groans on that. I don't know why that's... I think you made that oddly. I don't know why that's controversial. Well, I think it's just not a good time to bring up whites being superior.

Oh, no. I was bringing them... They were inferior in this case. Inferior, yeah. He's going to get his ass kicked. Oh, you're saying the white's going to lose. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Well, that's better. That's better. We could all feel much better About whites losing Don't know why anybody groaned That's what Tacoma's all about So it's the last of the Mohicans I get it I get it

This whole time I thought it was Dallas, but I get it. I get it now. Okay. The third billed people in this mashup movie title are Christopher Plummer and Bill Mosley. Bill who and Bill Mosley. Bill who?

Bill Mosley. Yeah. That's not an easy clue. Probably helpful to no one. But Bill Mosley, if he's listening, is really excited that he might know

half of the answer. It's not the movie that he was in. All right, so we've got Christopher Plummer and Bill Moseley. Don't forget, this is just between the participants on stage. And that area over there does not count as on stage. There's a clear barrier. With that, like, fence right there,

don't you feel a little bit like Harambe right now? Like, please don't put your baby in here with us because we don't want to die today. What? The second billed people, speaking of whites, are Sandra Bullock and Karen Black.

Sandra Bullock and Karen Black. So far, I only know one of the four names that you've read off. You don't know who Christopher Plummer is? Maybe, if I saw his face. Yeah. That's weird that you don't know

who Sandra Bullock is, either. Yeah, I just know Bill Moseley. That's the only one I know. That's crazy. Jacob's not saying anything right now because he's thinking so hard. I am really thinking hard. And the top-billed people

in this movie mashup title are Keanu Reeves and Sid Haig. Sid Haig? Yeah. H-A-I-G. Wasn't he a general in World War II? Sid Haig?

Isn't that who that was? No, he's... Well, maybe, but he's also an actor. Oh. In this movie mashup title. Do you have anything, Jacob? That's really... We're counting on you.

Okay, so I'll slowly break it down for you. Again, audience, don't say anything. Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves have been in two movies together. All you need to do is pick one of them. Speed! The other one. Give me a clue. Give me a clue.

Slow! What is it? The Lake House. What's that? The Lake House? Yeah. Yeah, that's the name of it. But the full title, full mashup title. Yeah, but.

One movie begins with house. The Lake House Party. Oh, fuck. The Lake House Party. The Lake. The Lake House Party. That has noted horror film actor Sid Haig in it.

And Karen Black. The Lake House on Haunted Hill? No. Shut the fuck up. I'm trying. The whole audience knows the answer. The Lake. Alright, we're going to play live, die, repeat.

I'm just going to say it. The lake. And the first one to say it back is the winner. The lake house at the end of the street. The lake house at the... Lake house on the left. Lake house on fire. The lake house on the left.

Oh, my God. The lake house on Elm Street. That happened to me once. The lake house the 13th. The lake house a ween. The lake house that gives out Street. The lake house the 13th. The lake house a ween. The lake house that gives out full-size candy bars. That's the house we all want to go to.

The lake house of pain. Wax. Wax. Shelter. One shall face. Lake house of 1,000 faces. That's it. Yax. Shelter. One shall faces. Lake House of a Thousand Faces. That's it.

Sean got it. Was it what? Lake House of a Thousand. I really had you guys fooled, didn't I? The Lake House of a Thousand Corpses. You guys thought I didn't

know it, but I did. Yeah. It was the first movie directed by Rob Zombie and Chris Hardwick is fifth or sixth billed in it, I think. And I knew that would be a tough one, but I just like the title,

The Lake House of a Thousand Corpses. Like, if Keanu and Sandra lived in a lake house that was a couple of years apart in time and also full of corpses, it would be a much more entertaining movie. All right, let's play a game that you guys could fuck up even better at. Let's play Whose Tagline Is It Anyway?

Sean did eventually pull it out first. Goddamn right. Which is what happens at every party we go to. And that explains why nobody would have a show last night. What's that, a keg in the corner? I'm going to pull my dick out. Let's make it a party. I like his jokes, but he's probably going to take his dick out.

I just can't concentrate. I don't need that at the end of a long week. Why is his backup dick on his noose? Backup dick, everybody. Backup dick. Could you hate yourself to death by your dick? Is that possible? I imagine you would bleed out. You'd bleed out, maybe, yeah.

As soon as it ripped off? Yeah, good points. You'd be dickless and bleeding. Probably having second thoughts. And if you sit there like, I want another piece of pizza or something, you know, I want to live. Really, if anyone's thinking of committing suicide,

just don't stop thinking about that next piece of pizza. Yeah. That'll really turn it around. All right. Sean gets to go first. Goddamn right. Then we'll go to Josh. Then we'll go to Jacob

because Jacob's going to win the whole thing anyway. What the hell? Calm down, Mike. It's just my prediction. All right. Based on fixing it in his favor. I don't do that you know that about me Sean ducks really close right now why

does it Alex Trebek ever go here's the question the question. I wonder if Alex Trebek smells like weed. Just lean into it. Just walk over to him. Do you enjoy vodka breath? Here we go. Alex has vodka breath, I bet. No, I do. No, I know.

That is a great... Thank you. You guys never told me what you brought for the prize bag. You didn't ask. I know. I forgot. Oh, I brought a copy of Lucky Number Slevin. I wanted to say it so bad earlier, but you get mad when I do that. Now we're all going to fucking watch it right now.

And then I brought some Sour Patch Kids and a little skateboard. And then a little skateboard because I found it at the party store today. And I'm a skater. That's cute. And what is it in? What's all that stuff in?

It's in a Trolls bucket because Ron Funches was in Trolls. So I wanted to get that. That's the Ron Funches character in Trolls right there. Yeah. Another Portland boy. Alright. There you go. There it is. Good job. Thanks. Thank you. You're welcome.

What do you got for the bag, Josh? Now, as usual, I forgot I was supposed to bring something and I don't. So I get things out of the hotel, but I'm not one of those cheap dudes who gets the free things. I take things.

Yeah, he took shit out of the minibar that's like four or five dollars a piece. Oh, yeah. Toblerone. Toblerone. Beef jerky. Beef mocha jerky. Some caramel sea salt some shit.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. For her pleasure. You're supposed to put that box on your dick? A lint roller. Wait, they have lint rollers in the thing there? A lint roller. And some coffee. And there you go, everybody.

That's what happens when Jews listen to country music. They start getting all generous and changing and stuff. You can clean her sweater while you guys are having sex. Because you got the pleasure kit and the lint roller. And you can eat the Toblerone and be all set. Gnaw on that Toblerone while you're fucking. So sexy. The coin slot.

Eat to the middle like Lady and the Tramp. Or if you're two ladies, no, forget it. F the ass. Wait, I want to hear the end of it. I want to hear the end. They could just pretend they're sharing one tiny black dick, right? Whoa, tiny? No?

See, I didn't want to say it. I didn't think that's what you were going to say. It is quite telling, though, that you consider that Toblerone a tiny black dick. That's pretty fucking big. Not by black dicks. Standards. De last. That's odd. Every time.

Every time. Jacob. Okay. I got these special Eclipse viewing sunglasses They're just regular sunglasses But it's probably It's probably better

To watch the Eclipse Through these They're cheap toy Child sunglasses So Okay What else? Then I got

I bought the original Batman This is like the first printing Because I was This DVD This is the new vinyl This is the first printing Like when DVDs were new of Batman. It has a weird old cardboard case and everything.

People are excited about that. Yeah, there's no DVD inside. No, it is. It's in there. It's in there. Pass it down. Okay, I'll keep it. Well, here.

No, you pass me everything once. Okay, okay. Tell us what it was. I forgot. I've never done this before. I got the other first Batman. Batman Begins, the Christopher Nolan one, which I think is his best one.

I love touting how DVD is the new vinyl, but I just keep giving it away because I don't want it in my house. Put it in the bag. Yeah, put it in. Oh, wait. You want to save that bag? Is that why you're holding onto it? No, I don't want to save it.

Okay. Then. Because you could give it to me either way. Yeah. I got the Argo script because Ben Affleck was also Batman. Oh, all right. A lot of people might want to see that. Oh, I still got the sunglasses.

And then I got sweet tarts, which I'm just going to throw in the crowd if that's okay. Okay. Not Smarties. Smarties, not the sweet tarts. I took those from the green room. So you emptied the bag and then handed it over to me. The sunglasses are in the bag.

The Eclipse glasses. I'm sorry. But weren't we talking backstage about how you needed this bag to carry something in later? No, I transferred to another. You got something else? A transfer bag. All right, we don't need this bag.

To this bag I say, good luck getting cast in American Beauty 2. I'll never get tired of that reference Alright, so back to the games Thank you for the reminder about the prize bag I'm sure every listener was like Why? What is wrong? With Doug

And I'll tell you what's wrong with Doug The weed of the Pacific Northwest. Yeah, what? Did somebody just scream, I love weed, but kind of laugh at the same time? They didn't just scream it. It was epic. It was like, I love weed! That's exactly what it was.

I don't know if you guys could hear it, but that's exactly what it was I don't know if you guys could hear it but that's exactly what it sounded like if anybody has any weed I smoked the last the last of mine yeah relax Jacob everybody in this room right now has weed what are you talking about

there's weed at every table so I think you're in downtown Tacoma homeless people have weed you know who isn't giving you any of their weed

that fucking lady I love weed is that weed for me what's happening oh you got some already is that for me

thanks wait that's really cool is that how it works apparently Is that for me? Thanks. Wait. That's really cool. Is that how it works? Apparently. Hey, I don't have any weed either. Guys.

I also don't have any mushrooms. I don't have any cocaine. I don't have any money. I don't have any hundred on me. I don't have any $100 bills in my pocket. I'm fresh out of blowjob. Does anyone have any anal on them? By the way, I don't think I've ever heard a put like that before. I am fresh out of blowjob.

Does anyone have any fans Sean could borrow? A blowjob is where you put someone's dick in your mouth. Yeah. By the way, you said that like that's something you learned

last night. I had to do something to make myself feel better so i looked up blowjob and i went downtown and i got a goddamn blowjob and now i know what it is and now everybody else knows what it is blowjob is so happy This is what we do. This is what happens out here, yeah? It's astonishing to me. The judges' table looks angry.

They look very... Just like... A little pitchy, dog. A little pitchy. I think we should put those two right up on that perch right there. We just have to scream at it. Oh, can you imagine how mad people would get if you reclassed

Statler or Waldorf as a woman? They would lose their minds. Oh my god. All the trolls would shit themselves in colorful troll buckets. With weird troll poop? I went to see Trolls and it was about

friendly little trolls. I thought it was going to be about internet assholes. Alright, so Sean gets to go first. Sean's the only one that gets to guess in this entire room

or in the vicinity. Any of the area. What game are we doing? Whose tagline is it anyway? I'm going to read a tagline from a movie. Sean gets first crack at it. Because I won the last fucking game, dude. Oh!

You shocked a lady in the audience Oh my That level of confidence can be intimidating I understand No, I think it was the swearing Alright, here we go What movie, Sean, had the tagline Words can kill?

Words can kill. Oh, wait, I forgot to do something, but let me do something really quick. It took so long to get back into the game that I forgot to do this. I just want to say before we start this game that... You can still think about it. I'm sure you don't have an answer.

I'm trying. So I just want to say this real quick before I forget that we have somewhat of a celebrity in the audience because I want to give a shout-out to... You know him as Rev and Fuego on... Rev and... BJ and Migs. BJ and Migs! Mornings on KISW in Seattle. The Rock of Seattle.

The Rock of Seattle. He is here with his lovely wife and she brought some of her delicious breakfast cupcakes. So good. So good. Yeah, you fucking deep-throated that shit. It was so good.

I was teaching him what a blowjob was. Yeah, oh my God. Maybe we get more blowjobs if we put a little egg on it. Wrap a little bacon around it. But anyway. I gotta tell you, as a Jew, if I wrap my dick in bacon, that would be so confusing.

That was the funniest thing I've ever heard. Could be a great Sabbath, though. Boy, that was funny. But guys, don't tell anyone he's a Jew because his wife and his fans don't know yet. Yeah, they don't like that shit. Wolf is too cool of a name to be Jewish. It's a super Jewish name, though, Wolf is.

Right, Wolf and Burger or whatever. Wolf and Burger. Wolf and Steve. The Wolf of Wall Street. Oh, come on. That's a Jewish Wall Street joke. I thought it was pretty good. I thought it was good. It was clever.

Yeah, it was all right. That was good. Well, anyway, BJ and Migs, they always have me on to promote the shows, and Justin, Revan Frago is a great guy, so shout out to them. Geek Nation! All right.

I apologize. I just wanted to get that in. What do you got, Sean? What do you think it's the tagline for? Words can kill. You've got mail. No.

No. I don't fucking know. I don't know. It's incorrect. What do you mean? I don't fucking know. I don't know. It's incorrect. I don't fucking know. What are you giving me the third degree about? Just trying to sit here

and give away some Sour Patch Kids. Josh, what do you think it's the tagline for? Words can kill. Rambo. He barely says 20 words in the entire movie. But he killed a lot of fucking people, didn't he?

Incorrect. Jacob? I just don't know why you would do this obscure Charles Bronson movie. There's a movie called Telethon, which is kind of literally about that. Would it be that movie? Telephone? Telephone, sorry. With the P-H, right? Telephone?

Was it phone with the P-H? Yeah, because it was like a thing where people, their phone would ring and they'd pick it up. And the voice would say, go murder the president. And they'd say, no, I respect Trump too much. I wish Charles Bronson was here to deal with Trump. I had to turn that around so I don't get on a watch list or a best Americans list. I don't know.

Most patriotic. All right, so... That's not the movie, though, right? Jacob, that is not the movie. No, that is from a motion picture called Talk Radio. Oh, I love that movie. Oliver Stone. Yeah, Eric Boghossian.

Eric Boghossian. Yeah, words can kill. Armenian playing a Jew. Never heard of that movie. Well, maybe you should check it out. Yeah, maybe I will. After I watch, I still know what you did last summer. Yeah. So we're going to start

with Sean again. It's only Sean can answer this. Sean, what movie has the tagline His Courage Made Them Champions? Shit is right. There's some movies that fit that description.

Yeah. I mean, we can narrow out Working Girl. And that's pretty much it. Most movies are about men succeeding. Oh, wait, I take it back. Erin Brockovich. What do you got, Sean? I mean, I don't...

Do you remember what it was? Major League. No. Josh. Who would his be in Major League? His courage made them champions.

Josh. I don't know. Schindler's List. I don't know. Oh! I don't know. Schindler's List. I don't know. It's alright. It's alright. It's alright. It's fine. And you get a beer in your prize pack, too.

It's fine. And you get a beer in your prize pack, too. That's all right. Pay attention. Oh, thank you. What's going on? So you're telling me that now my empty glass, I should just pour a tiny bottle of Tito's. It says, drink me on it, like I'm Alice in Wonderland. But yeah, not too much went into the bag, actually.

But wait, so was I wrong? About what? Yes. What's that? Was my guess wrong? What was your guess? Schindler's List. Josh, if I had something else to

knock over, I would. This empty glass is worthless to me. Dear Tacoma Comedy Club, despite how poorly I may treat it. Oh, here it is. Oh, that's bad. Wow.

And this empty glass is going into the prize bag. We all did a ton of drugs backstage. A lot of drugs. I love how that was your choice. Right there, just like... It's a heavy prize bag. McGregor and Mayweather should practice on it. It's a heavy bag. All right, here we go.

His courage. Heavy bag. Here we go. Jacob has a chance to pull this out. His courage made them champions. Is it Rudy? No. Is it?

So close, though. It's radio! I get it, I get it. Yeah, I get it now. I get it now. All right, Sean. Yeah? You get to go next.

Boy, I'm trying. I mean, I'm, you know, I'm trying. You're doing great. No, I get it. So far, you're the winner. Da last. Me and, me and The last. Me and the last. What movie had the tagline?

I know it already. Powered, and let me just say it's not Schindler's List. I know it already, by the way. Powered by imagination. Can I raise my hand? No, you're third. You gotta wait for it, but these two guys aren't gonna know it. Sean's not gonna get it.

Coraline? No. I like it, though. She's more powered by big button eyes. Josh? What was the movie about Steve Jobs? What was that called? I think it was called Steve Jobs.

Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs. the movie about Steve Jobs? What was that called? I think it was called Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs. That was the least sneaky thing. Thank God they noticed that the little skateboard fell out of the prize bag.

What's a prize bag without a little skateboard in it? That was a close one, yeah. I was wrong. I said Steve Jobs. Okay. That would be Radio Flyer. Radio Flyer is correct. Radio Flyer? I get it.

I get it. What did you just tell Josh? He said that you did talk radio, radio, and then radio flyer. The thing that everyone else in the room knew already is what I told him. All right. Really? Everybody knew that?

We're going to do one more just for the hell of it. Because I want to see where this goes. Sean, it's back this goes. Sean, it's back to you. Yes, Doug. What the fuck are you guys laughing at? Here it is. The wrong man

in the wrong place at the right time. I got this too. God, fuck off, dude. Nobody asked. I think. Well, I don't. John Wick.

No. Does not have the word radio in it. No. Josh. No. So the first one was... The first one was the last of the money. First there was talk radio,

then there was radio, then there was radio flyer. And this one is talk radio flyer. The wrong man in the wrong place at the right time. Is it Radioland Murders? Was Josh done? Yeah, I was done. Oh, I thought you said something.

Yeah, I was done. Wait, didn't you say something? I was done when I sat down. Oh, I thought you said something. Who is this man that was in the wrong place at the right time? Ben Ben. Was it? I don't know.

He was in the wrong place at the right time? I guess it's wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know who's in the right place at the right time? Captain Radio Man? I mean, the man who said, Good morning, Vietnam! So Jacob wins that game.

Congratulations, Jacob. I'd like to dedicate that one to the memory of Robin Williams. What'd you say? I'm just dedicating that to the memory of Robin Williams. Oh, that's nice. He's being sarcastic, you assholes. Sarcastic about Robin Williams?

Yeah, I actually secretly hate Robin. Like, what? How in the world do we get that? Who likes a lime in their drink? Do any of you guys like a lime in your drink? Whoa. She just put it in her drink. Yeah, it's a lime, it's all right. There's nothing like floor lime.

All right, you guys, let's figure out who the winner is today by playing Last Man Standing. Come on, Josh. This is my game. Don't worry about it. This is my game, yeah. Josh is poised for a comeback. Yeah, this is my game. Don't call it a comeback.

He's been right there for years. Do you think when I pick people's posters, they're like, fuck. There's no way I'm winning. Or they might be, I get to hear my shithead at the end. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm taking a picture of that one and posting it on the internet.

It is really good. It's a good one. It's a really good one. All right. So I predetermine who's going to give me a name for Last Man Standing. And the new wrinkle now is if we don't, as a group, if we don't like the first name, like if we don't think it's a good name for this game, like we don't have a lot of answers, we'll get a second one and then do both.

Cool. Let's see. Let's see which one. Let's see what happens with turns out sitting right up front. We figured that out earlier. It's Tiara Heddington. Yeah. And also you wrote to me and said that you wanted me to sign a picture of It's Tierra Heddington Yeah And also you wrote to me and said that you

wanted me to sign a picture of Bane for your kid? Yes. Okay let's do that now That is a gnarly Oh it's silver? Yeah One's not for me. I was going to throw it at you. Because I thought I had a fiercer pen.

I like the t-shirt. But this one is pretty good. You got me two different sizes. What are you, like a dude? One's for my kid. Are you going to sell them? One's not for me. Yeah.

One's for your kid and one's not for you? Yeah. One's for us and one's for the kid. Okay. Long walk. Long walk. Long walk we got taken on. Everybody listening? Doug is signing.

It's weird that three comedians that never fucking shut up are sitting here quietly. I do love your T-shirt, though. She got a Golden Girls t-shirt. That's one of... Yeah, that's a good one. And her tits are right there.

Yeah, thank you. Are you her husband? Okay, then you, yeah. She said, he said, and her tits are right there. I'm like, no, I get it. I understand where... That's where they are.

See, that's what I thought would happen while I signed a nice picture for their family. You talk about her tits. That's what's supposed they are. See, that's what I thought would happen while I sign a nice picture for their family you talk about her tits. That's what's supposed to happen during the dead part. Tits and. That's comedy. Tits and.

Right? Yeah, improv is yes and. Comedy is tits and. Careful. All right, here we go. Fantastic. All right. Star Wars.

All right, here we go. Fantastic. All right. All right, so Tierra, that's your real first name, Tierra? Yes, but can I point out, this is the second time I've seen you here. It's the second time you've seen me here, and I always make fun of the name Tierra.

Because it's spelled more like Sierra, but when you say it, it sounds like a beauty pageant winner, Tiara. And yeah, it's a terrible name. All right, so... It's rough. Yeah, it does. It's rough. But her last name's Heddington.

It's beautiful and unusual and I love it and I'll tell you something right now that is the last time we say your name what if we want to go for a smokeout

on the tiara okay so tiara Heddington, what's your line? No, Tierra, do you have a great name for us? I think so. She thinks she does. Alright, what is it? Huge Ackman. Huge Ackman.

Okay. Huge. Alright, guys, do you feel comfortable going with just Hugh Jackman, or would you like a second name? It's fun to add seconds, but I think we could. Jacob's comfortable with just Hugh Jackman. I think we could. How do you feel, Josh?

Well, I'm not comfortable because he's comfortable, so I'd like to make him a little more uncomfortable. Okay, Sean, would you like a second name? It never hurts, but Hugh Jackman seems all right. We've got to give a serious vote here. Okay, Sean, would you like a second name? Uh, never hurts, but Hugh Jackman seems alright. We gotta give a serious vote here. Yeah, second name. Okay, so I vote second name as well.

She has a second name. I don't want your second name. I don't want your second name. Yeah. Didn't mean to yell at you like I was James Vanderbeek. No, there's another name I pre-selected. There was some genuine disappointment in the crowd.

Like, I saw a grown man stomp their feet when you said that. Is there someone with a Twitter name Phonomancy? Oh, that's me. That's you? What does Phonomancy mean? Music is magic. Music is magic? Hell yeah. Phonomancy?

All right, man. Anybody else have a name? I got nowhere to go. Music is magic. Phonomancy. Yeah. Music is magic. Phonomancy.

Are you even going to say the name of a person that lives on this planet? Who do you got for us? Sylvester Stallone. I love it. Oh my God, we're going to be here all day. Stallone and Jackman, wow. All right, so Sylvester Stallone and Hugh Jackman. And Jacob won that last game, so he's going first, then Josh, then Sean, then me.

Good luck to us all. Don't forget, you have one lifeline. You can go to the person whose name tag you picked once. I can go to the lady who gave me the Tito's bottle. Not really. I don't need no stinking lifeline. Jackman and Stallone, I mean, seriously. If I lose, I will kill myself on this stage. He's got an extra noose.

He's got an extra noose. We were racing. I'm glad you have a noose. I got a noose. He's got an extra noose. He's got an extra noose. We were racing. Yeah. I'm glad you have a noose. You know why? Uh-oh. Why, Doug? I'm sorry. I set it up wrong.

I'm upset that you have a noose. You know why? Oh, no, I don't. Why are you upset? I'm upset you don't have a noose. We're finally going to get this right. This is going to... When we edit this,

the listeners are going to be overwhelmingly charmed. The judges are unimpressed. Yeah. I'm glad you don't have a noose. You know why? Why are you glad about that? Because no noose is good noose. Wow.

Wow. The noose is loose. Who are we loosing the noose? Mine sucked? Mine sucked. Okay. All right. All right, so we got the huge, huge Jackman and Sly Stallone, and it's just between us on stage.

In fact, we're going to whisper to each other and not even let you hear. and Sly Stallone, and it's just between us on stage. In fact, we're gonna whisper to each other and not even let you hear. Jacob, start us off. I'm gonna say the one everybody in the room's thinking, Rocky IV. Okay. Rocky. What's that?

Rocky. Rocky. All right,? Rocky. Rocky. All right, so this is what we're gonna do? Yeah. Sean, go ahead. Logan. I'm going to go ahead and say Rocky 2. Yeah.

Jacob? For no reason, I'm going to say Rocky 5. What do you mean, no reason? Because I don't know, why would I go to 5? It's so irreverent of me. Sure, I agree. All right, Josh? Hey, have you heard of Rocky 3? Yeah. Yeah, I agree. All right, Josh. Hey, have you heard of Rocky III?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to say that one. I'm still in it, by the way. All right, Sean. The Wolverine. All right, I'll go ahead and say Creed. A Rocky Balboa. Yeah. Copboa Copland

That's a deep cut Yeah but it's also all he has I'm scraping the bottom Rambo Let's stop for a second Think about what we're doing with our lives Sean Wait, full title?

Hang on, you guys I got this It's very confusing, the whole Rambo title thing But that's your final answer? Well, not now. What would you like to come with? X-Men Apocalypse?

That's the most adorable delivery I've ever heard on this show. Sean is so cute. Why don't you have fans? You're so cute. He's just so lovable. Like, I want to be your fan. I just don't have time to go to your shit. My mom would have come if she wasn't in South Dakota, I bet.

So that would have been fun. I'm like choking up, actually. You know, I have a nickname for downtown Tacoma. What is it? Paradise Alley. Yeah. Boom. Jacob.

Oh, okay. Yeah, we were out last night. We saw some pretty shady people. I thought they might be assassins. Assassins. Based in Seattle. Wait, is that the name of a movie? Did you know...

Did you know Sylvester Stallone put the first ass in Assassins and Antonio Banderas put the second ass in Assassins? Ass-assins. It's ass-on-ass action. But yeah, that is a movie. Josh, go.

Untouchables. What? Say it again. Say it again what you just said. Exactly what you just said. I'm not going to because now I'm nervous. I'll say what he said.

First blood. What did you say? Okay, first blood? Yeah. Okay. First blood. That's correct. You said the unt? Okay, First Blood? Yeah. Okay. First Blood. That's correct. You said The Untouchables, didn't you?

No. I'm pretty sure he did. Yeah, I did. I did. It's easy to confuse Hugh Jackman and Sean Connery. No, because I just watched The Untouchables, and I was like, oh, I can't tell you. Sean. Someone like you.

Oh, my God. I know. Is that that thing with Ashley Judd? I will murder you. Noose or no noose? All right. My turn, my turn, my turn. Noose or no noose? Alright. My turn, my turn, my turn. Oh, Stallone, you gotta show off and go.

He was in Bananas. Yeah, he was. He was. He mugs Woody Allen on a subway train. And as he's leaving, he's like, don't fuck kids. So no lesson learned there Woody Allen's gonna do a Woody Allen's gonna do Woody Allen is the cinema. You might still enjoy it, but you feel bad about yourself.

Speaking of Woody Allen, how about the other movie he did with Stallone? Ants. Stallone and Woody Allen and Ants. That's right. My favorite line in movie history in that movie. You to Ant. That's a real line from that movie. Judge Dredd.

Sean? X-Men First Class? I'm not sure if I said it already. I'm not... You know, like... People are like, what should we do with your house you don't want anymore? And I was like, demolition, man.

What's your, uh, what's your demolish your house? What are you going to do? Move to Australia? Oh, I seriously have no fucking idea what's happening right now. The last sentence, how come you guys just last word of all these sentences is movie, I'm guessing. Australia is a movie? Yep.

And a country and a continent. The fucking trifecta. Let's go. Tango and Cash. Yes! I mean, you might have picked the one dude whose movies I've seen and remember. Yeah, but there's two dudes, so we're okay.

Yeah, but you notice I haven't said anything about the other dude yet. Sean. X-Men X-Men You know Now Sean is it true that you're not good in bed? I didn't hear you what did you say? Is it that you're not good in bed? I didn't hear you. What'd you say?

Is it true you're not good in bed? Probably. Because I heard that you were les miserables. I will fuck everyone in this room. You calm down. I will prove to you I can fuck. I will fuck everyone in this room. You calm down.

I will prove to you I can fuck. His shirt's... His pants are barely on right now. Barely on. Fuck everybody in here! What a threat that is. I don't see anybody going outside, so let's sign up. Staying in here is consent.

Which is what I say as soon as I start. Yeah. Jacob hasn't smiled. Jacob is thinking. No, I got one. I just, I had actually heard that Sean was good and bad. I heard he has a really long cobra. But its real name is Marion, of course.

Everybody knows. That's seen the movie knows that. I think this is the name of the movie. Use your lifeline. I don't think I have to. This is how I... You might want to use your lifeline. No, I think I know the name of the movie. Okay, use your lifeline.

Yeah, I'm gonna... Yeah, maybe circle back around to that one. Use your life line now. No, you know what? Over the Top. Yay! Love that movie. John, this is exciting.

Yeah. All right, Dallas, throw me one. Oh, here we go, Dallas, what do you got? I'm feeling great. Oscar. Oscar! Stallone was finally nominated for one for Creed. I mean, he'd been nominated before, obviously, for Rocky.

Yeah. Anyway. Deep breath. Somebody said wake up. Have you heard about these weird ladies that iron their pubic hairs and they call themselves the Lords of Flatbush? That's really funny, Doug, but I actually want to get serious for a second,

just with all this stuff happening, like with the neo-Nazis and the... I just want to tell these white supremacists out there, you guys stop, or my mom will shoot. JK, she's dead. Valentine's Day, 98. Not a big deal. Whatever, I'm fine. Lymphoma.

It's cool. He tagged it with lymphoma. I've never heard anyone do that before. That's right, man. Lymphoma. Yeah, the last word should be the funniest. Not the worst. All right, so I don't know if this is the name either.

And I don't know if anyone's said it before yet, so far. Two key components. Hey, maybe I should go to my lifeline, or maybe not. Maybe let's take a look. Can I see if somebody's said it? You still haven't gone to your lifeline? No. If you say one that's already been said,

I'll say that's been said already. It's not going to disqualify you. X-Men Apocalypse? Yeah, we said it already um hey shane shane what do you think shane i'm actually going deep sea fishing next week so i'm going to catch a swordfish oh i'll get out of here hey so... It kind of ruined it by saying fishing in the setup. But what's the name of the movie so I can say? Swordfish.

It's called Going Swordfishing. I mean, that was a lot of words, and I didn't know any of those as movies. So let's simplify it over here, everybody. Let's keep it simple. Just out of curiosity, which one of those two was in Zorfish? Huge hack.

I might as well know, you know. This is the longest I've ever been in this game, without a doubt. No, you're a kid. I mean... Kind of crazy. You were doing great in remembering

the thousands of movies made by two icons. I know. Got ourselves a real hot ticket up here. Real spark plug. People listening at home are like, how does he do it?

It's like he's just been existing for a while and just soaking up this general knowledge. Sean? The Expendables? Oh, shit, here we go. Hey, by the way, that's what I meant when I said Untouchables. I know that.

That's what I meant. That's what I meant when I said untouchables. I know that. That's what I meant. That's what I meant. Expendables. You don't want no one to touch it. You want it to be extended. Yeah, yeah. But the whole time, I'm like, it's not untouchable. And then he said, fuck it up.

Yeah, expendables. Okay, expendables too. Damn it. We got to wrap this up. We're going to be here until daylight. You really helped Josh out there. Alright.

I almost called him Jay Sean. Here we go. I know the movie I'm thinking of. Does that count? And it's like... Wait, wait, back up for a second. I want to give you a fighting chance here.

Think about the last three answers. Expendables 3. None of those have subtitles, huh? Huh? They don't have subtitles, any of those? No. Shut your mouth. Oh, I'm not worried.

Sean? I'm gonna... I'm gonna... Rambo 2 Full title Damn Damn John Rambo

Did you use your life thing yet? I did Am I not gonna come in last? John Rambo That's your answer? Yeah Final? Yeah

Incorrect. Fuck, man. Oh. Yeah, that was sad. You just got a bunch of sympathy fans. I wish I'd have had sympathy fans last night when nobody showed up to my show. I mean, I don't think there's going to be

any more last nights for you, Sean. When not one person came out to watch me do stand-up comedy last night. All right, I'm going to go with... Thanks for playing, Sean. When not one person came out to watch me do stand-up comedy last time. All right, I'm going to go with... Thanks for playing, Sean. I'm going to go with... Thanks for having me, Doug.

Kate and Leopold. That's a good one. Yep. I'll go with Rambo 3. That is the full title. Fuck. I think it is, yeah. That is the full title. I think it is, yeah. That is the full title. It's the one in Afghanistan.

Yeah. Trust me. It's on the theaters. It was helping the Afghanis fight the Russians. Very weird movie to watch nowadays. Josh. We've got to get out of here. You've got a show to do.

Yeah. Well, then I won't give a correct answer. No, no, no. Don't try to lose regularly. Lose what? Like fairly. Like try and lose because you will anyway. I don't have to try to lose that has come

pretty naturally so far what do you got? I got whatever that movie is oh yeah that one when he was fighting

the vampires with that good looking woman oh yeah I know it now thank you I've been sitting on. I've been sitting on it. I've been sitting on it. You know the one I'm talking about? Yeah, but you gotta say the name.

Hugh Jackman Vampire Hunter. Alright. No, I don't want to lose. So Josh is out. Josh is out. It's my turn. Yeah. Josh is out. Why? It's my turn.

Yeah. Van Helsing. Which a lot of people don't know this, but it's the prequel to Van Wilder. Jacob. How about X2, X-Men United? Yeah. Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup.

Yup, yup, yup. Fist. Go back to Stallone with Nighthawks. Oh, keep going, keep going. I was back at Stallone with Fist. I don't know why you had to go back after that. I'd fist either one of them if we're being honest.

I thought we'd heard The Last of You. Oh, it's not Dallas. Okay. What was the Hugh Jackman movie we saw together with the robots? I'm definitely not going to tell you. What was that called?

I've never had... The shoe's never been on the other foot. Be quiet. We saw that together. I know we did. I know what it's called. In Phoenix, I think. Yeah.

What's it called, Jacob? It's called Robot Jocks. No. Yeah, it is. No, it's... What's it called? Real? It's called Robot Jocks. No. Yeah, it is. No, it's... What's it called? Real Steel. What the hell?

Real Steel. Oh, Robot Jocks is another movie. But that wasn't my guess. It wasn't my turn. Because I had other ones I was going to do. Robot Jocks is a different movie. You were out. I was out?

He's out. No, it was just me and you doing it. We're out of time. Jacob's the winner. Okay, sure. I think we could have gone for a while, Doug, right? What's that? I think we could have gone for a little while longer, Una.

Yeah, if I sat here and thought about it. I was starting to wind down on it, for sure. What was your next one going to be? Fuck, it's based on it now, but wait. My next one was going to be X-Men The Last Stand I had. The next one I was going to say is I ain't got chappy. See, I don't even want to say it.

I don't like that movie so much. What about Get Carter? There's a bunch of them we didn't say. I can't believe I didn't remember Get Carter. Everybody's got him. Yeah, Stallone, old school. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, obviously, yeah. What was the movie that Stallone did with Schwarzenegger recently?

Italian Stallion. Oh, Escape Plan? Escape Plan, yeah. Someone said Italian Stallion? Yeah, that's not a movie. Yeah, escape plan. Escape plan, yeah. Yeah. Cliffhanger. Someone said Italian stallion? Yeah, that's not a movie. Yeah, that's not a movie. Somebody screamed Italian stallion.

But there are tons of them. Yeah. Yeah, somebody just said cliffhanger. I repeated cliffhanger, and then you yelled cliffhanger. Shut up already. Where's the prize winner, Jacob? Where's he at? The Empire Mike's back.

Where's Mike at? Mike. Come get your prizes, Mike. Maybe bring somebody with you. It's a lot to carry. Where's he at? He's coming. Oh, here we go.

And while he's doing that, Jacob, start your plugs. There you go. Start your plugs. Okay, sorry. Okay, we'll start with Sean. Sean, start your plugs. Listen to All Fantasy Everything if you feel compelled. It's a podcast that I do with two friends of mine, Ian Carmel and David Borey.

And it's fantastic. Thank you, guys. So, yeah, do that please um i will be here for two shows tonight if anybody wants to come um i do a podcast with freddie prince jr called prince and the wolf that is on iTunes. It's a good time. Check it out if you get a chance. And ComedianJoshWolf.com for tour dates. Woo! And I'll be in Portland

I think the weekend of the 15th of September. Yeah, I'm doing a Doug Loves Movies there and I'm thinking about asking him to participate. I would like to plug Sean Jordan's social media. Everybody just follow Sean Jordan. I mean, come on. The guy,

he's a good guy. He's very attractive. He's the nicest guy I've ever known in comedy. And also, Doug, while you're taking a picture of that, can I just say,

this is like the best panel I've ever been a part of. These are like the two greatest guys. I don't know about the best at the games, but as far as just being able to play with friends and people I like, Sean Jordan and Josh Wolfe, man, you can't get better. You don't know about the best at the games, but as far as being able to play with friends

and people I like, Sean Jordan, Josh Wolfe, man, you can't get better. You can't get better than that. Jacob Siroff, everybody. That was awesome. If he had lost, he would not be that happy. That almost makes up for zero people showing up to my show last night.

Almost. Almost. Oh, so Jacob, since you won, can you join us the next time in Los Angeles on August 29th at UCB Franklin? Let me think. Yes, I'll be there. Okay.

So look forward to that, Los Angeles. I'm going to see you... What? This is the part where you don't talk anymore. Okay. I hate that part. What did you want to say, though? Oh, just that usually I have my kids on that day, but I'm going to give them up to be on the show.

See what I mean? There's no reason to say that. You're probably right. You should have stopped talking. Everyone's like, I'm wondering if he's going to be able to find someone to take care of the kids. And we'll see you at Talia Hall on Tuesday, Chicago. One more time for all of my guests, Jacob Seraf, Josh Wolfe, and Sean Jordan. Thank you. John Jordan! Thank you.

Go fast or don't go, just pick one. Jesus. You stand around collecting accolades. As always, like the house lights are up up Like they're really rushing me Cliffhanger! Dude's still yelling cliffhanger Maybe it's just his favorite kind of ending Maybe he's suggesting I don't say the shitheads

Save him for the next show Strangely the shitheads match up this time As always Racist neo-nazi assholes are shitheads And Nazis, duh. All right. Was big, stiff, foggy. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.