Doug Loves Movies - Josh Wolf, Matt Fernandez and Jacob Sirof guest

Episode Date: February 29, 2016

Live from the Fort Lauderdale Improv, Doug welcomes Josh Wolf, Matt Fernandez and Jacob Sirof to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bernie, Drizzy, Trump, Star Wars, get your weekly dose of global news, pop culture, and politics from comedian Paul F. Tompkins and his colleagues, star the conservative squirrel and hot dog, the actor and model. Watch Know You Shut Up online at Fusion.net. Enjoy the show. Doug hates candy wrappers, green and maybe sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see

Because Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Love, Love, Movies! The force is strong with this crowd. Coming to you for the first time ever from the improv at the Hard Rock in Fort Lauderdale slash Hollywood, Florida! The craziest capital

in the Union! We're doing it. I've done Doug Loves Movies in Florida before, but I'm excited to be here in the other Hollywood they can't call this the Hollywood improv because there's already a Hollywood improv and would get really

confusing it's Saturday February 27th 2016 let me see your name tags, semen holes. I mean, seminoles. Oh, no! This is going to be impossible for my guests to pick. We got some serious Star Wars going on in the front row. Shan Wars, the Force Awakens Bakes. She's got a big stormtrooper and a lightsaber and put my face

on there. Christine, have I seen that before? There you go. Yeah, on Twitter. You got Pete Holmes there. He's not going to be here today I'm afraid. I mean, I'm happy to say. I saw this one on

Twitter. Laz the Blunt Awakens Wars. And your name is Laz? Interesting. Is it short for Lazenzo? Lazarino? What's it short for? Lazero. Okay. Fair enough.

What's this Avengers thing you're holding? It's some sort of, it looks like a race number. Like you were in an Avengers race? Yeah, Avengers race in California. In California. Okay. I love how everyone's still holding their name tags up. You guys have strong arms.

Bunch of strong-armed individuals. Somebody's got a big sign that says a gift for Doug. What does that mean? For you. The sign is for me? Why would I want it? Something inside? Oh, shit.

Wait, now you took that off and now it's wrapped? You got to bring that thing up here. Just bring it up here. Yeah, you can put them down, you guys. It's a gift for me. All right. Looks like it's going to fit right into my luggage.

Here, pick up that microphone right there. What's your name? My name's Steven Perez. Oh, yeah, and have a seat too, Mr. Comfortable. I'm really high right now. You're not supposed to be high in this. I mean, feeling good. It's disrespectful to this Indian burial ground.

All right, so I could tell just by holding it, it was a framed something. So is this art that you made of me? Yeah. That was a good guess, right? And did you already show it to me on Twitter, or is this going to be my first time seeing it? First time.

Okay, I'm going to do it this way, then. I'm going to take a look before I show everybody. Oh, okay, you didn't draw me, so that's good. Tell the truth! Thanks, dude. I just wanted to say one thing. I want to thank you, Doug, for just doing this,

for being you, for doing this podcast. The handshake was really my way of saying to you, get the fuck off the stage. No problem. I just wanted to say that one thing. Thanks, man. Thank you. If I ever get married, I'll let you speak at the wedding

because that's what that was feeling like for a second there or my funeral well thank you to everybody for bringing name tags I thought that the name tag turnout would be strong, and I was right. You guys stepped up.

Step up all in. Doug plugs. Getting Doug with High goes live this Monday on my YouTube page at our channel at 7.15 Eastern Time. So you guys will be able to just go home and maybe have a nice meal and then fire something up and watch me get high with two awesome guests.

Doug Loves Movies returns to Meltdown Comics in L.A. on Sunday, March 6th at 4.20. And we're doing a first-ever taping of Doug Loves Movies at the Improv in San Jose, California on Saturday, March 26. Douglovesmovies.com for deets and more tour dates. That's Douglovesmovies.com.

Now it's time for Watch This, Not That. The number one movie in the country is Deadpool. Yeah. Now listen to what happens when I say the number two movie is Gods of Egypt. Yes. So watch Deadpool, not Gods of Egypt. The audience has spoken edition.

Let's see what's in the prize bag. I'm going to just, every time I feel like I might see Gods of Egypt, I'm going to watch Deadpool again. This is a fine item that I put as a post-it note on to remind myself something about it. This is the Good Will Hunting soundtrack on a CD. I don't even remember what the songs were like. It was an Elliot Smith song, so that one's probably depressing.

But I put a sticker on there reminding myself to say that Douglas movies are going to be at the Wilbur Theater in Boston on May 28th at 420. Because most of Good Will Hunting takes place in the Wilbur Theater. I've got some

VHS's. An episode of Angel called War Zone. I bet you David Bananas was really good in that one. And oh, there was a show

that lasted for a while that I actually liked. Not that I didn't like Angel, but there was a show called Gross Point. And this is an episode called Puppet Master. So, yeah, if you have a VHS player, go nuts. I got a button that I got on my last trip to Disneyland that says that Snow White's going to be out on blu-ray on February 2. A dude that's been come came to the show Thursday night he's here again today brought these cool things that you hook it onto your belt and then you shove

your lighter in there and then you your lighter never when you're in a smoking circle, you know, set it free and it will come back to you. So that's fun. He gave me a couple of those, so I'll bring some back out to California for the next prize bag. We got a Douglas Movies shirt. We got another thing that they gave me

when I did the Not Safe with Nikki Glaser on Comedy Central is sex position magnets. So you can have people in all sorts of crazy fucking positions on your refrigerator. Yeah, I decided to opt out on that. I want to invite somebody over to my home and there's people fucking on the fridge. A couple of Deadpool coasters. And when I say coaster, I mean just little pieces of paper that are round.

And a dude in the audience, I think it's a dude, gave me a note. It says, prize bag past the trash. These aren't the three worst movies ever made, but they are the three worst in my house. Give this shit to someone else. It's like a fruitcake or something. But his name on Twitter, if you want to reach out to him, is Not Just Florida.

Whatever that means. All of that is in the prize bag, plus stuff that my guests brought. So let's get them out here. Please give a big warm welcome to Jacob Seroff, Josh Wolfe, and Matt Fernandez. Hey, guys. Hey, Doug. Hey, Doug. Hello.

Nobody wanted to win the Pete Holmes Award, which is a good sign at the beginning of the show. So let's just start in order that I wrote you guys down here. Matt Fernandez is back, everybody! Hey! Hey, let me quiz you Let me quiz you Matt Whoa what already Quiz alright bring it on

Well okay we can chat for a second how's it going Thank god it's going great Alright I'm going to quiz you Have you seen any of these movies? You Stupid Man? Never even heard of it. Right? Well, that's because you're a stupid man. The tagline is

woman, man, woman, trouble. There's apparently a stupid man in between two women on the cover. The women are both hot, the man's just stupid. And then, have you seen Sylvester Stallone in Driven? No. And I don't think I want to.

Yeah. I remember seeing this one. Burt Reynolds was in it. It's a race car movie. And then, finally, another one I haven't seen, The Makeover starring Julia Stiles. And this looks like an ABC Hallmark Hall of Fame

movie. How did I miss that? I just love the nerve of slapping words like Hallmark Hall of Fame on a movie they made. Oh, it says that? Yeah, they make a bunch of movies. Pretty arrogant. But this one looks a little lighter. This one's probably about

female empowerment. It's just kind of a fun. But a lot of times it's heavy shit. That's what I love in my movies. Who votes? My movies are in the Hallmark. Yeah, who votes on that? Anything with Katherine Heigl.

I'm just saying, they just make these things, and then that's the company that's making them. But it's like such a bragging, you know, to call it, it's already in the Hall of Fame. So there's not a physical Hall of Fame like you could visit? Yeah, actually there is. On Ventura Boulevard, there's a Hallmark Hall of Fame, yeah.

Honey, let's go down and watch the makeover down at the visiting center. Yeah, it's a Hallmark Hall of Fame production. You know, Hallmark cards. Which are, you know, who does that anymore? Who does that when you can, you know, give somebody a framed picture? When TSA looks through my luggage tomorrow,

they're going to be like, hmm. You're going to keep the lie that that's going to be in your luggage tomorrow? Yeah, I'm going to keep the lie that that's going to be in your luggage tomorrow yeah i'm gonna keep that going that's josh wolf everybody welcome back to the show thank you welcome to florida yeah you've been performing here for a couple nights. Great shows. We saw you last night.

You killed it. Yeah, we've had a good time. Did you win anything last night at the tables? No, I did not win. And I know that because I looked in my wallet this morning and the money was gone. Because I was super drunk when I was gambling last night. Yes, you were. That's why I was wondering.

I usually do the best when I'm drunk because I don't care. But when I care, like when I'm sober and I gamble, I never win. But when I'm drunk, it's the other. I'm sure I just lost just because you lose when you play in a casino. Like that's what happens. But sometimes with blackjack, you can get on a nice hot streak and you feel like you're winning. But if you just keep playing, you'll give it all back. Yeah.

Because it's just, it's rigged for them. It's like every hand, they have like 70-30 in their favor. Really? It's crazy. You were sitting next to the angriest Asian woman ever last night. The dealer kept I was losing at the table too and she was making jokes and I was terrible.

And the Asian woman kept going, no joke. No joke. I was like, alright, I'm 10. No joke! Yeah, I don't care for the jokes and I probably would have said that as well but I was like, all right, I'm 10. No joke! Yeah, I don't care for the jokes. I know I probably would have said that as well, but I was too fucked up.

That's how you know I'm fucked up, is I just let her make her jokes. Because that's no good when the dealer gets 21 and they make a joke. It's like, come on. What was the joke? I don't know. I wasn wasn't there you were sitting right next to her that's what i mean but i wasn't there i was like i was blackout drunk at that point

i had i had about 18 uh titos and soda yesterday yeah star wars oh that was fun I remember that Yeah, they put on a real good show Lots of lights, lots of hit songs I said to you How many songs did you recognize? And you said, more than I care to admit I like Drunk Doug

It's a real straight shooter I like Drunk Doug. It's a real straight shooter. Yeah. I mean, more of, I mean, I think they're a quality band. I think it's just more like, you know, someone my age shouldn't know that many songs by. Because it was all, it was a lot of children in the crowd. Yeah, the line to get into that place looked like the line at, like, my cafeteria at my high school.

It was just a bunch of 16-year-olds and then parents waiting outside in a ring. You know how the high school dance when there are parents waiting? That's what it was. It was crazy at a casino. I was grateful that the band was pretty loud because whatever cheering and screaming was going on during the music, you couldn't hear. But when they first got introduced, the place it was bedlam, like the screaming girls it just was very painful

but like I said, they're good musicians, the lead singer, I really like his voice and they did a good job they did that Uma Thurman song that everybody loves, that just rips off the Munsters theme song so, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So, yeah, what? Jacob Siroff is here, you guys. Hey, everybody. Yeah, I got a... It says so right here on this piece of paper. Let me see. It says right next to your name. It says, everyone's favorite prequel apologist.

I got to chime in on the follow-up, before says, everyone's favorite prequel apologist. I gotta chime in on the Fall Out Boy thing before we get to the inevitable prequel conversation. I'm a huge Fall Out Boy fan. I would have recognized every song. I'm fucking 40 and I don't give a fuck about what you guys think. They're an amazing band. But I had to go hang out with my Jewish-ass family.

So I didn't get to go to the show. Ryan, our comedian friend over there, got my ticket and I was really bummed out. But I was hanging out with my 97-year-old Jewish grandmother. Wait, are there Jews in Florida? Wait a minute. Apparently there are, and they're related to me. I had no idea.

So you could say that you would have gone to the concert, but you had to be a fallout goy. Wait, what? Oh. You're not goy. It doesn't make sense. No, but it was good. I always feel like,

because I talk a big Jew game, but I'm born and raised in California, like pretty secular, not around a lot of Jews. And I always think like, am I posing? Am I like a poser with this Jew shit? Then I get around my family,

I'm like, oh no, I'm Jewish as fuck. What am I talking about? I've earned my Jew stripes. Yeah, because you had to drive over to Boca, right? I Ubered, but yes. Is that really where you went? No. But they used to live there. They got outpriced.

Oh, okay. I wanted to ask Josh one more thing before we move on to the next question. And that's people, if they haven't seen it yet, you've got to check him out on Chelsea Does Drugs is the name of the episode you're in. And, yeah, Josh gets to get high with Chelsea, who I never even knew smoked pot. She didn't used to.

And then we were on the road once. Oh, you got her into it? And I said have you ever had an edible? She goes no and I go you should try one and she was like You taught her to run before she could crawl Well here's the thing and I love it when people say how much

should I eat? I go just eat what I eat because I eat a bowl of them It's like a science experiment from here on that but i remember we i um we i love chiba chews and uh i so i was like just eat half of this chiba chew you'll be fine so that's a that's an overdose on a chiba chew especially the first time uh we were sitting in the in a hotel room and it was me and a couple other people and it was her room and I was like, has anyone seen Chelsea?

And we looked in the whole room and she wasn't there. So I went out. She was on the ceiling. I went out in the hallway and I started to call her name and I hear these footsteps running in the hallway. She was like, I don't know how I got outside of the room and I couldn't find my way back.

Oh, come on. But she really, really enjoys it now a lot. I wish I had gone in the episode, you know, that she went to Peru and tried ayahuasca. And she asked me to go with her. And I couldn't do it because I was filming something. But I would love to try it. I asked you the other night if you would try it. I definitely would. I would love to try it one time. What is it? Ayahuasca

is like peyote times 10. Sounds safe. Here's the thing that they say, anyone in here done ayahuasca before? Okay. So what they say is that you don't lose control. Like, you hallucinate, but you're in control, which sounds bananas. Is that what you heard also? Yeah, so that seems good. Like, I would like to try that. I would like to be in control while I talk to a unicorn, as opposed to

when I was out of control. Well, not to spoil the episode, but how does Chelsea react to it when she does it on the show? As soon as they stopped talking about weed, I turned it off. Well, here's the thing. That's the thing. With ayahuasca, I guess you really have to allow yourself to go there. And you can have enough control to kind of ruin your trip.

And the people that she was doing it with the first night were having bad trips. So she, almost her brain, chose to take care of them. She went back the next night and did it by herself and said, had just like a spiritual awakening. So that sounds fucking great to me. I would love to have one of those. Wouldn't you love to just find, like, something out about yourself that you had no idea that was buried

deep deep? Nope. I feel like I'm running down this path by myself right now. Yeah, nobody wants me to do that. What about the Oscars? Do you guys give a shit? Does anybody have Oscar predictions or picks or anything? I would love to see Stallone win.

I think he will. I think he will. I would love to see him win. Coogler should be nominated. I don't know why he's not for Best Director. Creed was amazing. Yeah, I didn't love Creed. No?

No. Let's fight. I'm rooting for the black guy. I thought he was great, though. Stallone was great in there. What happened? I'm rooting for the black guy at the Oscars tomorrow. No, Stallone was great in there.

What happened? I'm rooting for the black guy at the Oscars tomorrow. I think he's got a good shot. I'm trying to think of... That was not a basketball joke. I went for the top ones. I'm going Revenant, DiCaprio, Larson, Stallone, and Alicia Vikander are my

picks. People are applauding for it. Good picks. You saw The Revenant, right? For me, it took me 30 minutes of watching that movie and then I was like, holy shit, is that Tom Hardy? That's how good he was in that movie yeah oh my god he's amazing he was amazing but i would still love to i just

want to hear stallone's speech that's what i would tune in for that like a hundred percent and you know it's a career capping award you know and and you know the character was such an underdog and the movie was such an underdog and the movie was such an underdog the first time around and then he made a bunch of shitty sequels Whoa, whoa, whoa Pump the brakes, Doug

He made some sequels of varying quality and then this one came along and it just redeemed it all, I think Do you think if DiCaprio wins an Oscar, Tom Cruise is going to be at his

house like, what the fuck? They are neck and neck, in my estimation, for the hardest working actors because they take on not only accents and, you know, fucking facial deformity and all that kind of shit, but they also

just physically punishing movies almost every time out. It's like, when are you going to make a movie where you're just sitting around chatting? Called The Couch. But wait a second, he's talking about accents. He's talking about Tom Cruise's accent in Valkyrie, right? I'm talking about, he worked hard

to not try to have an accent. Yeah, he did. He worked extra hard. He was working with a lot of British actors who kept their accents. I'm talking about he worked hard to not try to have an accent. He was working with a lot of British actors who kept their accents as Germans. And so he had to really, that was tough for him to not just suddenly start speaking British, which would be ludicrous. Yeah, that's unfortunate. He's not the best with accents, but he works hard. He hung outside of a plane in Mission Impossible. He's just like... I don't like DiCaprio's accents.

He's never been good at it. No way. He didn't even attempt one in The Departed. Right. That's a great thing. And neither did Nicholson. Any character that's in Boston, though, you can get away with that. Because when you're in Boston, you don't constantly hear that accent.

Yeah, you do. People sound pretty normal. Really? Yeah. I'm going to the wrong part of Boston. You've got to be talking about, maybe if I talk about sports more, more of that would come out. But everybody I meet, everybody that comes to Douglas movies in Boston does not have a Boston accent. I feel like the whole place sounds like JFK.

Please look at my name tag. I made it in the yard. Alright, so that's enough Oscar talk, I guess. What was the last movie you saw, Matt Fernandez? Oh, I just saw Spectre, finally. Really? Meh.

Yeah. I'm tired of seeing Christoph Waltz play that character. He's just the same person. He's the worst. He's got great enunciation, and he's a badass. I get it. Yeah, he does have great enunciation. I've been trying to do a nano impression of him

and it's if Christoph Waltz saw a mouse, yee! That is spot on, man. There's this guy. I'm going to have him on the show. He's on Walking Dead. His name is Ross Marquand. And he...

Or is it Russ? Russ or Ross? Shit. Related to the trip? I don't know. But probably not. But he does this thing on the internet where he does a whole bunch of nano impressions,

like really quick impressions like that. And they're brilliant and hilarious. So go find them. And the other one I do is Christopher Walken finding out that his flight has been cancelled. Why?

I love one word impressions Hannah There's no room to fuck up You can kind of say it again But it doesn't even have to be a word It was just a noise So thumbs down on Spectre? Yeah, thumbs down. All right.

Josh, what was the last movie you saw? Star Wars. I waited a while to see it. You know what's crazy? I waited a while to see it, and I never, there was no spoiler for me. Like, I never read, honestly, I just stayed away from everything. And I went and saw it, and I thought it was funny. But for me, like, the story,

and I know, like, I'm late to saying this, and I know probably everybody's said it a million times, the story itself was too similar to the first one. Like, it seemed like a little lazy story writing to me. That's it for me. I loved it. I would go see it again, but... I still haven't seen it.

I'd say it was more safe than lazy. I think they agonized over it, and then that's what they came up with. They worked hard to go with the safest. No one's going to hate this movie. Some people do, I guess, but most of us either love it or

think it's fine. Do you like that that's opened the door to more adventures in that world? I think it was amazing that people were actually mad that there was a... Don't say anymore. I didn't say it yet. I haven't seen it either. You fucking idiot. You can't do that.

It's like three months. Han Solo dies, dumbass. Do not say anymore. What the fuck is wrong with you? It's fucking February. I don't... Star Wars is other people's kids to me. It matters way more to you than it's fucking February. I don't. Star Wars is other people's kids to me. It matters way more to you than it does to me.

I don't give a shit. He fucking dies. His son, Kylo Ren, kills him. Fucking see the movie, idiot! Fucking, what's wrong with you? You have no right to say that at this point. Now, let me just say. You have no right to request that. Let me just say. let me just say. You have no right to request that.

Let me just say. You're making me mad. I'm going to fight. You see the veins popping out of his head? He's got Star Wars tattoos all over him. I tried to talk to him about Star Wars last night. Yeah, you don't want to do that. Don't you fucking talk to me about Star Wars.

You don't want to do that. No, he's like, you've got Star Wars tattoos. I got fucking Qui-Gon Jinn. That's how Star Wars I am. Show a little portrait style. And's how Star Wars I am. Cholo portrait style. And here's how much I know. I was like, why do you have the dude from Taken on your arm?

I was like, is that Taken? Because Jacob has a certain set of skills. Don't say anything. I haven't seen it. Alright, don't, don't. That poor guy. That's not... He must be poor. He can't afford a Star Wars Don't say anything I haven't seen it Alright Don't Don't That poor guy That's not He must be poor He can't afford a Star Wars ticket

It's fucking Two months in Oh shit I'm gonna take you to Star Wars He bought a ticket to see this And it's probably a dollar or two more Than Star Wars and IMAX And I appreciate that

But also As a Doug Loves Movies listener I would imagine Everyone setting foot in here today knows that we've been open about Star Wars for a few weeks now so that was very shocking to hear

hey don't do it stop talking but we're podcasting how can we mime everything he's still on season one of Douglas movies I think he doesn't seem up to date on current events. Oh, that's a great idea, though. I should make some prequels to Doug Loves Movies. Just let me be involved, Doug.

If you're going to make prequels, let me be involved. I'll just go back, and it'll be like the show originally was, but even more stripped down. Because the show started out as I Love Movies, and it was just me and one guest. And then eventually I started adding guests and games and all that stuff. Were you doing it at clubs?

Where were you doing it? It was always at the UCB. Right before a very popular show there called Comedy Death Ray. Then it became Comedy Bang Bang. And yeah. I think they're coming somewhere in Florida. I don't know if it's right near here, but became Comedy Bang Bang. And, yeah. I think they're coming somewhere in Florida. I don't know if it's right near here, but

a Comedy Bang Bang tour. Look for it, you guys. That's pretty inside baseball these guys that do that. Yeah, well, you know, some people listen to more than one podcast. I just listen to this one. I don't even have time to listen to Dining with Doug and Karen,

or Doug Loves Minis or Getting Dumb. You also watch every TV show that's produced and every movie. I do not. It seems like there's not a show that you don't know of. Last year I got behind. Well, I know about stuff, but I haven't seen it. Like, I just, you know, said don't go see Gods of Egypt, and I haven't seen that piece of shit.

But here's a spoiler from that one, sir. It's boring. And Han Solo dies in that one, too. He's like, Chewie, what are we doing here? Oh, you're hot. He's killed. Oh, you're hot? What was the last movie you saw, Jacob?

Shamefully, I haven't seen a movie since I've been on the show when I saw Deadpool last. But I got some hateful tweets about my... Because I said Miranda Baccarin was too old to play the hooker. So I feel like maybe we should just rehash it. Here's my beef with her in that movie is I don't like her haircut. The short hair? Yeah, that just makes her look like a fucking housewife.

It looks like a wig. It just looks like she's wearing a punk rock wig from a novelty store. Are you saying there should be an age limit for hookers? I'm saying that there should be an age limit for hookers to charge what she was charging. Yeah, they get out of the game.

They tend to get out of the game by the time they're 30, 35, you know, because they get concussions. 30, 35, that's a $50 blowjob. That's not like a $600 an hour play skee-ball hooker. That's fucking, that's for 21-year-olds. How the fuck do you know what that is? Leave it to the Jewish guy. What are you talking about?

I know. You really, you really, you're really asking me how I know. I'm not spending more than $60 for a blowjob. I don't care where I am. Isn't she more of a escort or a date at that point? Because he puts all the money,

he gives her all the money and they just play skee-ball. And then he fucks her for free. That was the joke. Yeah, she was definitely a hooker. It was so weird. When he fake died and she thought he was dead, and then she went to cocktail serve at the hooker bar.

She just has no other recourse. Well, I can't hook anymore because I'm in love, so I'll just serve people drinks that are getting hookers. Yeah, once you find true love, you don't want to be a hooker anymore. Even if your true love, you don't want to be a hooker anymore. I guess. Even if your true love vanishes with no explanation.

And you get very, very mad at him. And then shows up with a big burnt dick. Yeah, and then you forgive that burnt thing. Did you guys all see the dick? She's like happy to see that burnt thing. Who saw the Deadpool dick? Did you guys see the dick in Deadpool? I've talked to so many people that didn't notice the dick. It's like so, it's so glaring.

I mean. Well, he's naked and he's standing, but. But there was a weird, when he was like falling on that, that he was, he was. Yeah. And he's like, and he's just sitting there. It's not like. There's a lady over there. I saw the dick!

I saw it! Brought a magnifying glass. But like dicks in movies. I feel like dicks in movies are usually like, it's usually when somebody's like walking after sex in the bathroom or in the fight scene when they're naked but there's just like this long prolonged scene of him just like hanging there with his dick it's so hang on let me check let me check out something really quick though sir have you seen deadpool yet his dick dies han solo's dick by ben solo now known as Kylo Ren.

Last movie I saw was, I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith on the plane, because I had a bunch of choices of movies to watch, and I was like, I already know I like this movie. It's probably, it's in my top two all-time favorite movies where Brad kicks Angelina in the stomach. I have a scene by the sea, but I assume they do it again because it works so good the first time. In the trailer, she's just in a clump on the floor

and he's leaving the room. Maybe he didn't kick her in the stomach, but he did something. Maybe he does that in real life and that's why they have to adopt all those kids. Jesus Christ, dude. Wow. It's a solid bit.

It's a solid bit. I stand by it. I stand by it. It's a technically sound bit. Technically sound bit. Could you please stop talking about them? I haven't seen all those kids. All right, you guys.

It's time for the part of the show where I say, let the games begin! And Jacob has a point of order because I never asked what you guys brought for the prize bag. That's exactly what I was going to say. I didn't want to pull a Sam Levine, but that's exactly what I was going to say. That's very good of you to point that out. Let's find out real quick what you got for the prize bag,

starting with Matt. A friend of mine, a comedian out of St. Augustine, made a documentary called Mild High. It's all about the weed boom in Colorado, so I brought a shirt and that movie. And I also brought a program from the 70mm road tour of Hateful Eight,

which I hated, so don't cheer for it. Matt's also a part-time cop, so he just felt guilty for even being there because they were supposed to boycott it. You hated it? I really did. Okay, I'm not a huge fan of it, but there's a lot of stuff to like. I expected a lot, so that's a lot of stuff to like. I expected a lot.

So, I mean, that had a lot to do with it. Yeah. I thought it was just really weird timing that the revenants like at the same time and they fucking go outside. The revenants, you know, they do stuff out of doors. Yeah. You know, they don't just sitting in a cabin. See Bone Tomahawk. It's much better.

Kurt Russell. Yeah. Bone Tomahawk's amazing. The dude gets, it's awesome. What are you? Yeah. You don't, don't please with the spoilers. A dude gets... It's awesome. What are you... Yeah, don't... Please, with the spoilers. I won't. I'm sorry, dude. I'm sorry. I won't say anything.

Because I don't blame people for not having seen Bone Tomahawk because there's people probably hearing right now there's a thing called Bone Tomahawk. Fucking see it. It's really good. So good. I think I'm a little worried about announcing the winner of the show today because this guy hasn't seen it yet. Burn, bro. You're getting burned all show.

You running for president because you're feeling the burn right now. Josh, what do you got? I brought a t-shirt from my podcast, Fairly Normal. There you go. That's beautiful. And I will, whoever wins it, I'll just switch out the sizes because I have more in the back.

He's got more in the back, so see Josh. That's just a placeholder. See Josh for a size swap. This is like the one on the mannequin. You don't have to buy that one. The Douglas Moody shirt, just live with it. It's the only one I brought. What do you got, Jacob?

I brought, I hope some of you guys are up to speed on the show, I brought your favorite Harrison Ford movie, Doug. American Graffiti Now. Very clever. It's called More American Graffiti. Oh, is that what it's called? It's More American Graffiti oh is that what it's called

I fucked up and called it American Graffiti now you son of a bitch I just happen to have that's my only copy of this

and I think it might be one of the only copies in the world I don't think there's about three that were made I tell you I don't mind that movie

it's not bad yeah it's not bad not bad at all I mean American Graffiti is the kind of movie they shouldn't even

attempt at a sequel, especially because one of the guys died. I'm like, I have to watch my back when I'm saying shit. But yeah,

you fucked that up pretty good on the last time I was on the show because you went right forward. I was so confident. There was so much

Harrison Ford on the table and you were trying to get fancy. American graffiti now. You went for the circus play. Bad work on my part, but thank you for reminiscing about it. And all of that is going to be won by somebody. You guys need to pick some name tags.

You've got quite a job ahead of you. It's ridiculous. Jacob just immediately picks one. So go grab the one you want to play for. Really look around, you guys. And we'll take a quick commercial break. We'll be right back. Today's episode is brought to you in part by

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This episode is also brought to you by Postmates. Postmates is transforming the way local goods move around a city by enabling anyone to get any product delivered in under one hour. This is like a dream come true for me. And you can get a free delivery by using the code Doug. The Postmates network of couriers can deliver from anywhere. Think GameStop, Chipotle, Walgreens, McDonald's, 7-Eleven, or any other local store or restaurant. Literally everywhere. With a few taps, Postmates will bring any product right to

your door in less than one hour. It's like magic. So next time you don't want to leave your game, download the Postmates app on iTunes or Android and enter the code Doug for a free first delivery. app on iTunes or Android and enter the code Doug for a free first delivery. We're back! Great job, everybody! There's a lot of great signs. I have, before, can I just real quick point out, there's a guy in the back, I couldn't pick it

because I had to do Star Wars with me on it, but there's a guy with a Jaws sign that says Jews. That's just amazing. If I wasn't so committed to the Star Wars thing, I would have to. Can you see that? It's like a Hasidic shark. That just amazing. If I wasn't so committed to the Star Wars thing, I would have to. Can you see that? It's like a Hasidic shark. That's amazing.

That is amazing. I know. You should have got here earlier, dude. I can't believe it. Well, that's a great sign. Oh. Nice. I thought, like, the storytelling,

all the frivolity would continue, but everything got silent as soon as I left the microphone to go take that picture. I want to take a picture. Someone tweeted at me today, and they're right. They're like, you should tweet out the winning name tags so people can see them instead of just hearing about them.

I was like, that's a good idea. I'll do that again. You should just make this a TV show. Yeah. Now, I mean, I don't remember ever taking that picture, which is a little bit creepy. Like, I don't know where that's from.

I'm lost in your eyes. Yeah, you... Oh, by the way't know where that's from. I'm lost in your eyes. Yeah, you... Oh, by the way, yes, I have hair. So, just so you know that. I didn't know. I thought he was doing the LL Cool J thing. No, we were back last night and you were like, no, you have hair. I've never seen him without a hat.

Who are you playing for, Jacob? I'm playing for... I didn't even look at the name. Star Wars Return of the Jedi? The Jedi-O? Jadio. Is that your name? Oh, Jadio. I thought it was like a Jewish...

It was like Jewish and Spanish. I was like, did I pick an anti-Semitic Star Wars thing with my name on it? I can't believe you don't recognize... I picked a Jew poster. I picked that, and I can't believe you don't recognize... What if I all picked a Jew poster? I picked that, and I picked Jews, and he picked... I picked it because... Well, he's sitting up front.

He's got an awesome... That's one of my favorite Star Wars shirts. The one that says Te Amo Lo Se. And then it's like I've been waiting since I've been doing the show for someone to actually fucking put me on a Star Wars poster. And I thought you were the first one ever

that I looked, and this guy did a way better job than you. But thankfully, Josh picked that one. So everybody wins. Yeah, you just grabbed it immediately. You didn't even look around the room. I had seen it. You had been looking at it for a while. I had been looking at it, and he gave us his vape pen.

Coveting it. I can't believe you didn't recognize him, though. Who, Dio? That's D.O.J. Garcia. Who's D.O.J. Garcia? Some guy. He tweeted at me today. Oh, Jesus Christ.

I put it together. You said your name's Dio. I was like, oh, there's a guy named Dio who tweeted at me today. He didn't tag me on it. I thought it must have been a famous cocaine dealer from Cuba or something. There's a Me and Earl and the Dying Girl poster somewhere here that has Jacob on it too, right? Yeah. But his...

It's really good. Hey, you brought two posters? Pass it up here. I'll read the shit. Is there a shithead on the back? Yeah? Yeah, just pass it up here. That's the lady who can't say beer, so she has to...

The woman who's hard of hearing volunteered to... Thank you. Be careful. This guy hasn't seen the poster yet, so don't sweat it. It's going to get old eventually, but probably not. It is right now. No, I don't know. I don't know.

I got a few more in me, I think. But look at that, though. Look at how good you're photoshopped into that. I look weird and bloated like DiCaprio. I got like DiCaprio Coke bloat. Yeah, but that's good. It's a good Photoshop. I saw that on Twitter, but it's just not Star Wars.

Did you say Coke Bloat? Coke Bloat, yeah. I'm not familiar with Coke Bloat. You don't know about the Coke Bloat? No. Am I the weird one? Dio, come on. You're the expert. It's a good shithead. It's a real good shithead. But also, her husband

is the one that took, so I'm glad they got picked also, because I felt guilty about that. I like how daintily you're holding that. It's very small. Well, I got pictures of all three of you this time, so I will tweet them out, and I will announce which place you came in before the episode is even out.

I won't do that. All right. Let's play a game. You can put that down if you want, Josh. You don't have to hold it in your lap. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Do you like any of that candy that's on there? I like all of it.

Somehow arranged it where I can only see your face. That's what I just want to stare at. Vain motherfucker. My face is like on the curve going, hey, what's going on? What am I doing? Hey. All right. You know, if you said to me, I'll give you a million dollars to go home and figure out how to put your face on a poster i'd be like i

don't fucking have any idea like that that amazes me just like a rocket going into space are you amazing dude just as much fucking for a million dollars i can figure out how to fuck myself in the ass are you kidding a million dollars you couldn't figure that out i have a million dollars says you've already figured out you're doing you're doing a lot better than I am. I know that. You're not on the fuck yourself in the ass level like I am. Yeah, I got that check last week. Alright.

Let's play a game called F.I.N. F-I-N. And that's what they say at the end of foreign films from two different places. And I'm going to say the last

lines from a motion picture. And you guys have to as soon as you think of it, just yell it into your microphone. The name of the movie. This is just between the dudes on stage no audience participation please unless we asked for it which doesn't happen much time in Dallas page tried to cheat it was his turn he goes does

anybody know could somebody just tell me like told the audience audience give me the answer we shut that down though I gave him a flying elbow he'll never forget no that guy was super cool that was a good one he had to sit next to Pete Holmes so the fact that Pete Holmes is still alive proves what a sweetheart

Diamond Dallas Page is. All right. I'll say the line. It's kind of a long one. And you guys just guess whenever you think of what might be the right answer. We will rise renewed,

stronger, and united. This is our time. Our chance to get back the best of who we are. Lego movie. To lead by example with dignity, integrity

and honor that built this country. Did he say it this slowly in the movie? And which will build it again. May God bless you and may God bless the United States of America. Independence Day!

No. JFK? No. The Postman? No. Something about Florida? No. Wait, let me double check? No. The Postman? No. Something about Florida? No. Wait, let me double check. No.

God bless you. Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter? No. Lincoln? No. That's not a terrible guess. I know, I know. Rebuild. I would ask you to read it again

but that was fucking painful I don't think I could sit through that again alright I'm going to give you in the movie they don't say it that slow but I just no one has ever said it that slow I just wanted to make sure I'll do the quick one for you guys

can someone here just tell me? I'll just do a quick version of it. We will rise, God bless America! I cut out a lot of words. Pearl Harbor? Nope. Men of Honor? Let me just say again.

We will rise. It's a super good clue. Buried at the beginning of that long speech. Oh! War of the Worlds? I'm going to give you some more clues. Now it's just a matter of who spits it out first. From 2013.

I don't remember 2013. Starring Aaron Eckhart. Dark Knight Rises. No. Oh! He wasn't in that one. No, he was the president.

The sequel is out March 4th because it's called Olympus Fallen. The White House has fallen. Olympus Fallen. The White House has fallen. Olympian Fallen. Olympus has fallen. Correct! Correct!

Now the sequel, London has fallen because London is the code word for London. That was hella not fun. I love that, though. The two guys that are saying almost everything but the exact right words got trumped by the guy in the middle. Who had no fucking idea what we were talking about. I didn't know that was a sequel.

I didn't know this was a sequel. I didn't know this was a sequel to that movie. Oh, yeah. No, it's fucking like, now we're in London and this shit's happening? Yeah. Aaron Eckhart's like,

this is the worst eight years of my life. Was he the one that did the line? Which any president should say. Was Eckhart the one that did the line? Huh?

Was Eckhart the one that did the line at the end of the movie? Yeah. He's making a speech at the end because he gets, you know, sorry, dude. He gets saved by Gerard Butler. Half of his face gets melted. After the White House has fallen. I think it wasn't called White House has Fallen because White House Down came out.

Oh, that's right. Close by. Yeah, so they were tricky. Change it to Olympus. Whatever, man. They're like, Gerard Butler only sells tickets if it sounds like he's going to be wearing a skirt. Yeah.

If he plays a god in it, or we call it Olympus, we should be good. Let's play ABC These Nuts, you guys. Very popular game amongst people who are terrible at games. Because it's pretty easy and you can luck into a win.

I'm going to tell you a letter and you have to name any movie that begins with that letter. And if you match the movie that I wrote down ahead of time, you win the game automatically. And if you can't think of a movie that begins with that letter, this is a two-part thing. A, you're stupid.

And B, you're out. If you can't think of one in a reasonable amount of time. We give you a few seconds. We give you about as long as it takes me to order another drink. Then you got to answer. And in honor of the Oscars tomorrow, let's spell Academy Awards. So you're going to go first, Josh. And then we'll go to Matt and then to Jacob.

And your first letter at Academy Awards is A. So name any movie that begins with an A. He's looking around like he might not be able to do it. Does anybody have an A movie on their name tag? Shh, shh, shh.

Wait, what did she say, though? Alvin and the Chipmunks? Yeah, that's not a movie. That's not even what those things are called. It's like the... The Chipmunks. They kicked Al into the curb.

I mean, there's a guy playing Alvin. That's the name of the act. Animal House. All right, but just to be clear now this is good this happened early just to be clear don't ever do that again

in any setting no just you know it's just between the people on stage he had to think of one and he did thanks

which one? Animal House oh no I'm sorry that's National Lampoon's Animal House and that begins with an N yes Oh, no, I'm sorry. That's National Lampoon's Animal House. That begins with an N.

Yes. Bye, Josh. When people do the walk off the stage bit, you always want to see how far they go. That's the thing. How is he going to go out to the crowd? Is that true? I've argued with people about this. I'm going to accept Animal House.

But it's I like to call it National Lampoon's Animal House because when you're watching the movie and the title card comes up, that's what it says. But you could argue that it's obviously just Animal House works. Nobody's like, wait, do you mean National Lampoon's Animal House?

Or Animal House. Which one are like, wait, do you mean National Lampoon's Animal House? Or Animal House. Which one are we talking about now? International Lampoon's Animal House. National Lampoon's Animal Farm? Or Orwell's Animal Farm? All right, so you did good. I went with a movie called Annie Hall. Fuck, that was going to be my A.

Oh, there you go. God damn it. Well, it would have matched anyway. All right, so. Are you talking about National Lampoon's Annie Hall? There you go. God damn it. Well, it would have matched anyway.

All right. Are you talking about National Lampoon, Zanny? So Matt gets the letter C. Can't hardly wait. I know. We're all anxious for you to give us an answer. Any movie that begins with the letter C. I went with Casablanca.

Yeah. White House. Yeah. White House. Yeah. Another White House movie. Oh, that's not the theme I was going with. Doug? A is your letter. For the win, I think, maybe Argo.

That's correct. You guys don't see how the game works? Did you see the paper? No, it's fucking... They're Oscar winners. Oh, shit, you're right. Oh, they're Oscar winners. Sorry, dude. Argo won a couple years ago, dude.

Animal House was not an Oscar winner. Driving Miss Daisy was the next one. There was going to be all movies that won Best Picture. E was... No movie's ever won Best Picture that begins with E. E.T.? Didn't win. Mutiny on the Bounty, You Can't Take It With You,

All Quiet on the Western Front, West Side Story, Around the World in 80 Days, Rocky, Dancers with Wolves, and Schindler's List. That game was over fast. Woo!

I just... I get excited about Schindler's List. He nailed it. He figured out that it was Academy Award winners, and he thought it was a good one. That's Academy Award winners and he thought of Argo. That's a part of the... Sneaky. Sneaky Doug.

Sneaky games, but that National Pools. Thank you very much. I just got a new Tito's and soda. Do you guys need anything? Are you good? Only 16 more to go before we hit the tables. Jesus. Do you need another Slurpee? I'm good. Do you need another Slushie? These. Do you need another Slushie?

These are not Slushies. This is like 95% alcohol, 3% red food coloring. I like drinking Wet Willies once I've gotten my drink, but I don't like the way they wet their finger and stick it in your ear. Really? With every purchase. I tip extra for that.

That's why I go. I tip extra for that. That's why I go. Wet Willies is this slushy place outside the club here that sells the most alcoholic slushies. It's like Slurpees with 151 in them. Essentially. Yeah, they put a little 151 in there.

The one I'm drinking is called Call a Cab. Call what? In California we say, fucking get an Uber, bro. But here they have cabs I guess you don't even have to call one if you're here in the beautiful Hard Rock hotel property because they got

a cab line right out front this place is the best you can smoke and drink everywhere it's amazing. We're in awe. No, you just smoke here. It's crazy. Everywhere you go, you can just smoke. Yeah, it's pretty nice here.

It's really cool. We're going to move into this swamp. Pool with a slide. That Hard Rock Live right next door is a very unassuming building on the outside and inside is a massive arena. It's so weird. It's like out of a future movie.

You know, like in the future they would gather in there and decide who was going to have to fight who. While they were watching Fall Out Boy. Yeah, of course. Yeah. You've got to be entertained. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. watching fallout boy yeah of course yeah you got to be entertained let's play last man stanton you guys already

did you did jacob did you just say already yeah you just won that game on the third title but Last Man Stanton is the hardest fucking game it's the most stressful game I've ever played in my life and I play Jenga all the time you play what? Jenga I thought you said

Jengo Unchained the board game how many whips does it take? I thought you said Django, like Django Unchained. The board game. By the way, that's not... How many whips does it take? How many whips till you break Django? I'm always happy when somebody's more racist than me on the show. That makes me feel good about myself. Oh, you know what?

I think slaves got whipped. That doesn't make me racist, just pointing out a thing that happened. Okay. Just four white guys on stage talking about black guys getting whipped. Wait a minute. No big deal. Wait a minute.

No big deal. Wait a minute, Fernandez. Since when are you a white guy? Don't be racist. Don't try to get our white cred. Just because you're up here with us. White cred. Your lanyard came off. I know. Your lanyard

came off. I know, my lanyard. It was made to go around your neck but it did come undone. That's a shame. That actually

was really convenient. Yeah. I like that you wear it around your neck like a child. Yeah. In case I get lost.

Yeah. That's how he had it. This is where I live. This is where I live. It's far, far away. Starring Tom Cruise with another one of his great accents. Far and away. By the way, I just noticed that

you pulled a picture of me on the side from MySpace. What the fuck? That's my MySpace profile picture. That picture of you holding a lightsaber, it looks like, oh my God, they put Jonathan Lipnicki in a Star Wars movie. Wait a second, wait a second. You still have a MySpace profile? It's sitting there. It's sitting there.

I don't know the password anymore, but it's fucking sitting there. I'm not lying. I only have one password for everything. You can still log into MySpace? Yeah, it's sitting there. Yeah. And there's pictures on there that I don't have anywhere else, so I just don't have the heart

to delete the account. I think, Josh, I'm starting to realize why you haven't written back to me on FriendStore. I sent you a message. The more important question is why did Dio go to MySpace

to get the... There's like... Google Images. There you go. That says a lot about my career, that the MySpace account is the first thing that pops up when you Google me. That doesn't say a lot of good stuff about your career. That's great.

Last time I was doing well, the age of MySpace. Just for laughs, 06. You're really having a hard time with that, aren't you? I don't know what to do with it. Can you fucking fix this for me, please? Does it have a shithead on the back? It does. Okay.

It's a good one to us. So, guys, you've got to hang on to that. Oh, she's got a real thing. Wow, we've got a backup plan here. What are you guys, professional conventioneers? You're ready. I love it. I love that word, conventioneer.

Right? Is that a real word? I think so, right? Why wouldn't it be? I'm going to try to work that in tonight on my show. Any conventioneers here tonight? That'd be a great name for a band, too. The conventioneer is not a terrible name.

I've got a conventioneer oven by Amana. So, this is what we're going to do with Last Man Stanton today. Oh, there you go. Name tag fixed. Look at that, you guys. Wow. Why didn't I have this in the first place? You're like the MacGyver of fixing things that don't matter.

Like, he gets himself out of life and death situations, and you just gave Jacob something to hang around his neck. If you had an actual lanyard, why did you have it on a piece of yarn in the first place? Yeah, why did we wait till now for the upgrade? Oh, because you had a lanyard, too, I see. Oh, she had hers on a lanyard. I like this guy.

Nerdy guy with a hot girlfriend. He reminds me of me. Sister, you sick fuck. You sick fuck. That makes more sense. And also, I just want to remind you, we are in Florida, so that is... Good point.

The man makes a good point. Doug loves Florida, you guys. It's all just laughs. Your sister's hot, bro. It's not the first time you've heard that, is it? Let's go to Dio's house. I don't really like him. Have you seen his fucking sister?

He's got a Genesis and a sister. Let's go over there. Let's talk about you guys some more. Yeah. What do you do for a living, Dio? Radio producer. Okay, yeah, you got the outfit. That's for sure.

I could see you walking around the halls of a radio station. Yeah, good job. What does your sister do? Who cares about you? She's a nurse, man. Of course you are. Go ahead, Go ahead. Go ahead.

We already know you know how to take care of people. Fixing lanyards and dating your brother. A real caretaker. She's like the grown-up with braces. That's so hot. Fuck, I love the grown-ups with braces.

Does it count as incest if it's just a handjob? No, of course not. Of course not. How old are you? Because this could be really weird. Oh, thank God. All right. She's got to be at least 18 to be in here How are you a nurse? You're not even Filipino Is that not a

That doesn't work in this region of the country It does She says the one Filipino person She says yes it does I got the approval from this You're fine continue with your racism So it's accurate. Got one person so Filipino-ated.

I tried to squish opinionated and Filipino together. It did not work for me. Any Filipineers in here? Any what? Filipineers. Filipineers. It was a conventioneer's callback. It didn't land.

All right. Well, we're out of time. Dio wins and his sister. Last Man Stands in today is going to be another.

We played like a real long tournament version recently and it was super fun. But I want to do a mini tournament where we play more than one round.

So if you win a round, you get to pick the actor or actress for the next round, and it's taking turns naming the movies they've been in. You've done this before. Yeah. Jacob gets to go first because he won the last game, and we'll flip the order around. I like to play

along in this game and then we'll go to Matt and then to Josh. Am I picking? No. The first round gets picked by an audience member. An audience member named D.O.J. Garcia. Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You can't tell him what to pick.O.J. Garcia. Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You can't tell him what to pick. No. What a cheater. And he's anxious to hear it. But you have a good one. That's why you tweeted me. Yeah, people tweeted me. I've got the best name ever.

I just hope it's Mickey Rourke. And then they're like, Betty White. And I'm like, get the fuck out of my internet. All right, but don't forget also that you do have a lifeline if it comes to you and you can't think of one or if you just want to use your lifeline early, which I think is a fun strategy. The person whose name tag you're playing for

gets to suggest a movie. So this is really interesting that you've managed to pick the name tag of the guy that's going to name the first person, because at least he'll probably know some of their movies. So you've got a good lifeline. What do you got, Dio? Mickey Rourke.

Mickey fucking Rourke. This is the second time on the show I've done Mickey Rourke. Yeah? Yeah. In all fairness, Doug, I don't want to have this wind tainted. I said, I don't know if you heard, I said I hope it's Mickey Rourke because that's the one I want him to pick. I don't know if that's his original pick. Do you want to give your original pick?

You really said Mickey Rourke? I don't want it. I don't want it. What do you mean, aw? This is like Latter Day Saints commercials type shit right here. I'm being honest. I'm trying to, like, let's do your real pick. Thank you, though, Deal.

But let's do your real pick. Owen Wilson. Owen Wilson. Owen Wilson. That's way better. That's a real pick. All right. Fuck. Deal. Let's do your real pick. Owen Wilson. Owen Wilson. That's way better. All right. Fuck. Can we do Mickey Rourke instead of Owen Wilson?

We're going to go with Owen Wilson. Okay. And Jacob's going to start us off. With Wedding Crashers. Wedding Crashers. Good work. I'm going to say... Just because I'm having a massive blank

out, so I'm just going to go for a real obvious one and say Drill Bit Taylor. An underrated film, if you ask me. When I watch it on cable, I enjoy it. Bad Enemy Lines. Oh, okay. That's a good one.

Weird one. Serious work. What do you got for us, Josh? Any movie that has... Zoolander. Okay. Jacob? Bottle Rocket. What? Bottle Rocket. Really?

Sure. Why not? I'll tell you why not. Because you're sitting right next to Josh, and you could have just said Zoolander 2. I thought there was a subtitle, and I couldn't... No. It's just straight up Zoolander 2. It's not like Zoolander...

There's no back in business. Zoolander dose. There's no national lampoon. Hey, dude. Owen Wilson dies in Zoolander 2. Oh, why? I told you it was still going. Poor man.

All right, Matt. The Royal Tenenbaums. Mmm, yes. We're knocking out some... Marley and me. Oh, that movie wrecks me every time. That's a tough one. I don't even like dogs.

Every woman in the audience just got sad. I hope it was between their legs. What? I laid it up there and you dunked it, Doug. You dunked the shit out of it. What movie makes you sad between your legs? Well,

dry those pussies, ladies, because I'm going with Cable Guy. What? Was it even your turn? Yeah. Didn't you just say Martin? Okay, you said Martin. All right, I think there's some muttering in the audience,

so please stop muttering. Whatever you're muttering. Cable Guy. The Cable Guy. Full title. Larry the Cable Guy. No. The Cable Guy.

What are you saying? The Cable Guy. Yeah. Say it again. The Cable Guy? Yeah, yeah. I thought you were saying just Cable Guy. I did say that at first, but I didn't recognize the Cable Guy.

Yeah, you better watch it. You're going to get yourself in a lot of trouble. Yeah, you're going on a the. That sucks. Let's see. There's you and me and Dupree. Yeah, that was fucking great, by the way. Yeah, you really sold that. I really enjoyed that.

Not to be confused with me and Earl and the dime girl. Matt? Cars. Whoa. Stepping up to the plate, knocking it out. Josh has got an easy one here. Cars 2.

Yeah. Cars 2, colon, chugging along. How about The Cars Aquatic with Steve Zissou? The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Yeah, quit joking around. No joke, no joke. No joke!

I tried to do it a little less racist. You gotta go full racist, dude. You're right. Stevie Ziz. Alright. You joke, you buy. I was trying to go full racist. I don't know. Well, there's

the late, great John Panette, whose picture's right here, has a bit about when he was really fat and he'd go to the buffet. You go now! Yeah, he'd do the Asian he'd go to the buffet. You go now! Yeah, he'd do the Asian lady yelling at him to leave. You go now! You go now!

Alright. Okay, so, Owen Wilson, I'm gonna say how about... Oh, fuck. I get the names of these movies all mangled in my head but I want to say

I've even fucked up on this one before so this is my chance to redeem myself got it yeah I can fix this and say

Anchorman the legend of Ron Burgundy he's in it right in the fight scene yeah oh yeah yeah yeah and say, Anchorman, the legend of Ron Burgundy. He's in it, right? In the fight scene? Yeah. It's Luke? Oh, it is Luke Wilson. Is Owen not in it? I'm out. I'm out.

He gets his arm chopped off. You should have went with Anchorman now. Good burn. The Darjeeling Limited. That was mine. I always want to call it the Darjeeling Express. I didn't make up that title, Josh. It's a real movie.

It's great. It's him and Jason Schwartzman. Spell it. No. Starsky and Hutch. Yes. That's why I pictured him standing around with Ben Stiller fighting.

Jacob. Give me a sec. What? Or you could use your lifeline. Not yet, not yet. I bet you he knows one. It was his dumb idea. I'm not quite there yet.

I mean, it was his brilliant... There's so many. Jesus, but... I got a couple shows in here tonight, so anytime you're ready. You're doing... Oh, it's Saturday.

What do you got, like an 8 and a 10.30? 7 and a 9.30, I think. Oh, shit. You guys, come at the times he said. I gave you incorrect information.

All right, Jacob, you either have to say something or use your lifeline, because you'll have more time to think as it goes around. What do you got? You're out? Dio is out? What about his sister? Can I use his sister?

Ronnie James Dio is out. You picked him and you knew seven of his movies? He burned you. Hold on. We did say a lot of them. I'm going to I'm gonna have to Guess on a Oh

Yeah go ahead and guess You got one? Oh What? Home fries Home fries? That's Luke Wilson also Yeah

You're out Do I have to use it? Do I have to use it? Huh? Do I have to use it? Well you repeated it Alright Fuck

That's okay It's true you did You're the one that's not gonna get it? Huh? Do I have to use it? Well, you repeated it. Alright. That's okay. It's true. You're the one that's not going to get fucking American Graffiti now. This is, we're playing to two points. He'll be back in in the next round. Matt, what do you got? I'm going to go to my lifeline, who is paying his bill. Pay attention, Matt. Come on. Inherent vice.

No. Yeah. Oh, shit. Wasn on. Inherent vice. No. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he's in that. You're right. Yes. That made me think of another one. But we'll talk about it later. I can't remember the name. It's one of two names. Oh, pick one.

Good luck. I can go to my lifeline And ask if he knows the name of the movie Right? I'd use the lifeline to just name a movie Because you'll lock in on it If you give yourself a little more time Does anyone else hear that?

Is that the fire alarm? Are we about to all burn alive together? I wasn't having a fucking Does anyone else smell toast? No, that's just the alarm that went off because that guy left early because he

he doesn't want to know how this ends. It's gone, right? It's gone. I love I love an alarm where no one even gets up.

No one heads to the door. Those are the most effective alarms. You just sit around going, what's that? I'm gonna go with and I don't remember if it's, what's that? I'm going to go with, and I don't remember if it's one of the two, so I'm just going to...

Yeah, just do it. So, meet the parents. Yes. Yeah, he said meet the parents. Fuck you, Dio, for not knowing that. You know what's sad is that this level of movie is right in my fucking wheelhouse So Owen Wilson Well there you go

So you can use your lifeline next time Matt what do you want to do Do you got another one Was he in This is where I leave you No You wanted to do that instead of using your lifeline I already did

Oh you already used it He gave me an advice I You wanted to do that instead of using your life life? I already did. Oh, you already used it. He gave me an advice. I should keep track of that sort of thing. If I understand how the game goes, I just fucking won. You did, Josh. Won that round. No, no, that's not correct. Dio just lost.

We're all back in it because we're going to play another round. But this is the fun part, Josh. Is that you get to pick who we're going to play. Don't say Chelsea Handler, please. An actor or actress. Johnny Depp.

People have suggestions in the audience. You need your fucking masturbation material. I know I don't look like I'd love Johnny Depp, but I do. Somebody just booed Johnny Depp? It's up to Josh gets to decide, you guys. She's got somebody you think you can run. Somebody I think I can run?

Somebody you think you can run, yeah. Someone just said Travolta. Everyone's going to have a suggestion if we allow this to happen. We'll go with somebody that I think I can win with. Yeah, that's the idea. And then we put you in your place. I got it. Ready?

Chris Frangola. No. Okay. You ready? We're all ready, John. Scott Wolf. What? Scott Wolf. What?

I don't know who that is. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm a fucking fool. No. Are you related to him? That's my cousin. Name one movie he was in. Oh, wait.

I can't. I can't. Wait. Stop. You can't do it yet because we're going to play. We're really going to play Scott Wolf? Yes, we are. Yeah.

That's fucking Scott Wolf. Jesus Christ. The younger, other Tom Cruise looking guy. Yes, we are. Yes. That's fucking Scott Wolfe. Jesus Christ. The younger, other Tom Cruise looking guy. If that's how Josh Wolfe wants to play it, he gets to go first and then what order

were we going in last time? Because we've got to switch it up. So we'll go to Matt. Really? I have no idea who this is. Well, that's definitely going to hurt you in this game. Scott,

I'm going to go to my lifeline. Alright. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Did Josh say a movie yet? No. He goes first. Oh, nice. Double Dragon, motherfucker. Yeah. By the way, motherfucker's not part of the title, just so you know. They filmed that in

Detroit, right? Yeah? I was on the set one day. Were you? Yeah. Just hanging out. Did you see Alyssa Milano? No, but what's his name? Robert Patrick was there and he's playing the bad guy in it and he was very nice. And that's where he also met his fiance at the time, Alyssa Milano.

He was engaged to Alyssa Milano. There you go. Pretty cool. That's a cute short couple. Yep. Alright, so Matt wants a cute short couple. Yep. All right, so Matt wants to go to his lifeline. Name a movie with Wolf Blitzer or whatever. I don't fucking... Dick Wolf. Scott Wolf. What?

What are you saying? That's not his lifeline. Shut the fuck up. I'm trying to listen to my life. That's my lifeline right there. That's the lifeline. That's my lifeline. That dude right there.

Yeah. We got it. We got it. Yeah, I hear you. What? He says go. Go? Yeah, he's telling you to leave this game. He. We got it. We got it. Yeah, I hear you. He says go. Go? Yeah, he's telling you to

leave this game. He was two of this. You're embarrassing me. I made a name tag and you don't know who Scott Wolf is? Yeah, go is correct. Yeah. And so I am officially out because I just took the two that I knew. Okay.

I got one. I got one. How about White Squall? Yes. All right. White Squall. I can't believe I'm not writing these down. And by the way, I'm for sure about to win because this will be the last movie. Is it really? He has as many movies as there are people on stage. Can we do TV shows?

But I figure you, it's Terms of Endearment 2. Really? That's not what it was called, though. Oh. Oh. Oh. Did I just win a point? It's not?

Did I just win a point on your cousin? No, it had a stupid name. It wasn't Terms of Endearment or 2. Oh, my God. I'm going to fuck to your sister right now. What was it? Oh, you can't tell me what it's called, huh? Are you...

That's what's making you do that? I mean, I was going to do it anyway, but it seemed like a good place to interject. Are you going to look up the name right now? Yeah, I mean, I think I know it, but I don't want to say it out loud because the other players might come up with it. So you're out.

Yep, about to come up with the sequel to Terms of Endearment. You were so cocky. That was part of the fun. Yeah, that was all the fun. First cousin? Yeah. Bombs, dads, what's the thing? Do you really fucking care? Just like you guys.

No, don't help him. What are you doing? Yeah, I do care. Yeah, dads. Do your dads are brothers? Yes. So you guys did Thanksgiving? Go down your family tree. So wait, so you actually know Scott Wolf? That makes one

of us. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I hope he hears this. Oh, my God. I'm going to. Would it really make my day if he heard this whole conversation? He came on Arrow for a while. He was pretty good on Arrow. What's that?

He's been in at least like ten movies. Yeah. Yeah, but, you know, Josh hasn't been in charge of memorizing what movies he's been in. Can I just see a picture of him? Is that okay? No. I can see a picture of him? Is that okay? No. I can see a picture? Anyway, I was right about the title of Terms of Endearment 2, and I'll tell you in a little bit.

So, Matt, you're out? Yeah. Whoa. Tap. More Terms of Endearment. Terms of Endearment now. Yes, I'm out. Okay.

Jacob. I don't need to. I just won. What do you mean you just won? You couldn't get one. I got the last one. Okay. You got the last one, I guess.

I got the point. I guess so. Points. I thought I was wearing my hoodie that says that on the arm. I'm not. All right. So, wow. All right, so... Wow, that did go fast. We should play again.

With someone better than Scott Wolf. Well, I get to pick now. I get to pick now. Guess what? We're doing Mickey Rourke, motherfuckers. That's much better. Wait, so who won the first point? Josh.

Oh, okay. Oh, this is... I like this. This is exciting. You invented this, Doug. I know. This is good. I was just worried for a second there that it was over, and I do want to play another round, because that was a shit name.

But that's like, that's the new strategy of this game, is you can pick somebody that you, you know, you know, or might be related to. And the movie, the sequel was called The Evening Star. Oh, that's right. Yeah.

The Further Adventures of that. They would do that. Schindler's List 2. It's like such a serious movie. Are you saying they don't rename movies and just put a 2 at the end? It's like a serious movie to just have 2 at the end for the name of the sequel. Schindler's List 2. Electric Boogaloo.

The sequel to Chinatown was called The Two Jakes. They do it. It happens. They usually switch it up when it's not. Sometimes it's crass, but other times it's fine. I've never minded Godfather 2 and 3 being called those things. Actually, that's a good point because those are serious movies with 2 and 3.

I take it back. But your cousin still has a shitty career. All right, so. In movies. He's great in television. I worry about what's going to happen now because Jacob gets to pick. Mickey Rourke. Mickey Rourke.

And he's going to go with Mickey Rourke. Well, it's because, do you remember, Doug, it's the one I've, it's a, we did this off the record once. Off the record. In San Diego, we were playing at the bar afterwards With Sam Levine and Dustin Ibarra Yeah so this feels like cheating No it isn't

He moves his arm to show It's one thing It's a Mason tattoo I like Mickey Rourke I'm a Mickey Rourke Alright well we gotta go faster Cause we don't have a ton of time left Okay so Joyce

Which way are we going? The Which way were we going that time? I went second Josh then Jacob So it'll go to Jacob To Josh I mean to Josh.

Jacob then Josh. I'm going to start with one of my favorite movies of all time, Angel Heart. Okay. That got no reaction at all. It wasn't bad. No, some woman in the back fainted or something. She's like, oh! That's Lisa Bonet in the back.

Oh, Angel Heart! Pope of Greenwich Village. Oh! The Wrestler. Woo! Yeah! in the back. Pope of Greenwich Village. Good one. The Wrestler. Good one. How about... Oh, and this is where I fucked up when we were playing before, I think.

No, I don't know. We did real good. Iron Man 2. Yeah, that's a good one. Okay, how about Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man? Oh, no. Oh, fuck. It's a movie.

I just don't know... What's the... Hey, Lifeline. Do you know the name of the Sin City movie? It's called Sin City, man. You nailed it. I don't know who cheated there. I didn't know if there was an extra Sin City

you're going to get fucked up. I didn't know if there was an extra line in there that I was missing because we're pretty specific. But I'm going to go with Sin City. And you used your lifeline to determine that? He used his lifeline. He didn't use it. I seened it. He didn't use it.

Matt lifelined him. Yeah, I'd say use the lifeline to come up with a whole new answer, not just verify something as obvious as Sin City. Sin City, a dame to kill for. Yes. Wait, is it not Sin City 2, a dame to kill for, or is it just Sin City? I think it's For. Yes. Wait, is there not a two? Is it not Sin City 2, A Dame to Kill For?

I think it's like they're fancy about it and they don't have the two in there. I think there is a two. I think it's Sin City 2, A Dame to Kill For. There's a book called Sin City, A Dame to Kill For. What is it after the book? No two. Okay.

That's what I thought. What a yelling. Go for it, Doug. Relax, everybody. Did you see the crap that's in this bag? It doesn't matter. Did you see this crap? All right.

For Mickey Rourke, I'll say diner. I'll go nine and a half weeks. That reminds me. That reminds me. That reminds me. I have to stock my fridge because I'm going to have sex someday. I have about nine and a half hours before my flight leaves, Dio's sister.

Did you say one already? He's flying down to Rio. Dio's sister Josh What do you got? Anything? Lifeline? You got nothing?

Lifeline's tapped Okay What a shame Yeah That's too bad Because I can think of the movie Don't describe it Don't describe it

I already described it to you and you didn't know the name. No, I don't. You're right. All right, Josh. I got to call time on you. Okay. The Mickey Rourke story.

Oh. He should be in that, but they... He went another way with it. He went another way with it. I think Scott Wolf played Mickey Rourke story. He should be in that. He went another way with it. He went another way with it. I think Scott Wolfe played Mickey Rourke in that movie. Alright, Matt. Once Upon a Time in Mexico.

Okay. That was the one I was describing to him. Thanks, Josh. You're welcome. I'll go with Body Heat. That's a good one. How about Double Team? Did you say Oval Team?

Yes, he said Oval Team. Rich Chocolate Oval Team? Van Damme, Rodman, Rourke. Immortals. Henry Cavill before he was Superman. All right. I was... This is really...

You got some more in your quiver? Jesus, Jacob, Joseph. Um, all right. I'll go with, uh, 1941. Don't argue with me, you guys. I'll go with. He's barely in it, but he's there. A Prayer for the Dying.

You're out. You don't have to worry anymore. I wasn't worried. But I'm, yeah, I don't think I have anymore, man. Oh, I got one. Really? You're out. You don't have to worry anymore. I wasn't worried. But I'm, yeah, I don't think I have anymore, man. Really? You're out? Oh, yeah, I got my lifeline! What's up, baby? Go, lifeline! What is it?

Oh, shit, yeah. The Expendables. The musical's called Les Expendables. The musical's called Les Expendables. Oh, shit. So you're still in it. I don't have a lifeline.

I'm going to have to really make my brain... Want to use my lifeline? I won't need it. Oh. Yeah, you're right. You probably won't need it. Okay. Hmm. Yeah, you're right. You probably won't need it. Oh, you motherfuckers. Wild Orchid.

That's one. A South Florida movie to boot. Is it on Matt? No, it's on you. Oh, it's on me? It's you, yeah. Okay. I'll go with

Year of the Dragon. Yeah, of course. You sat in your fucking room today. No, I just really like me. You're like, I'm gonna say

I saw Angel Heart when I was 12. He was my first favorite actor. I was obsessed with Angel Heart, so it just seemed like everything

the guy's done. So you're out, Matt? That is correct favorite actor. I was obsessed with Angel Heart, so it just seemed like everything the guy's done. So you're out, Matt? That is correct, Doug. Okay. I'll go with Barfly. Okay, how about... Yeah! I love it! This is where I beat you last time. I don't know if I'm pulling it out too early. I think you're going to. Johnny Handsome. Johnny fucking Handsome.

Wow. Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be able to pull out another one. This is like Frasier Ali 2. But you beat... He doesn't have any more, but you beat those fellas. You won this round and it's your second round that you won. So you are the overall winner today, Jacob Serra. I wanted that, Josh. I know you did.

I wanted that. I know you did. And let's start with Jacob. What other ones did you have ready? Okay, let me think about that for a second. Oh, you have to think? I can get more. It was close. Johnny Handsome was where I beat you last time.

That's the bottom of the barrel. I can't believe I didn't remember that. I should have been scarred for life. Does anybody in the audience have any? Oh, sorry. Was Johnny Handsome, was his dick burnt like Deadpool? Or was it just his face?

Was he in Diner? Yeah, he said Diner. Rainmaker is a good one. Rainmaker. He wasn't in the sequel. I don't think he was in the sequel. Doug said Iron Man 2. Talk. Man on Fire? He's in that? No. I don't think so.

He was in Man on Fire. He's in Man on Fire. I don't think so. He was on Man on Fire. He is in Man on Fire? Man on Fire, yeah. With Denzel? Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What? JFK? Really? It's got everybody in it, but I don't think he's in it. Domino.

Oh, Bullet with Tupac. That was a good one. Bullet with Tupac. Oh. The sequel to what? Bullet 2. More bullets? It was called 19 Weeks. She's holding up her phone.

Look what I know. I got the internet. Well, we had a debate. I said he wasn't in the sequel. It got lost in the fray. All right. debate. I said he wasn't in the sequel. It got lost in the fray. Alright. But your debate didn't affect the outcome of the game, right? No, no, no.

That's all that matters. I'm just going to pass it to him. Congratulations, Dio. Fuck. Great job. Can Jacob keep that? I think it's a cherished possession of his now. It's nice. It's very nice. He's got a shithead on the back.

We're not going to say it. Let's do some plugs and get out of here. Matt, what are you... Can I just break the rules? Why are you talking? It's a good shithead. No, I told you. He won. He doesn't get his shithead read. Let me see it.

I don't even want you to remember it and say it. You two are adorable. It's true that Chris Christie being for Trump and not weed is a shithead. It's a good one. Matt, let's now do your plugs. I will be at SideSplitters Comedy Club in Tampa with Nick DiPaolo March 31st through April 2nd. And I just found out a couple days ago that May 27th through the 29th, I'll be in Omaha, Nebraska at the Crom Comedy Festival.

So check that out. And you can check out all my dates at mattfernandezworld.com. Nice. And he's Fat Fernandez on Twitter. At Fat Fernandez on Twitter. Yeah. Two Ts. Two Ts.

Look at you there on this poster. I know. I'm Zangief from Street Fighter, which is perfect. Yeah. That's why I picked it. That's really great. That's some good Photoshoppery right there. That's really great.

That's some good Photoshoppery right there. Josh, besides two shows tonight here at the lovely Fort Lauderdale Improv, what do you got coming up? Next week, so that's the first week of March, I'm in Cincinnati. The week after that, I'm in New York at Gotham. And then the week after that, I'm in Charlotte at the Comedy Zone. And check out my podcast called Fairly Normal. I don't understand this shithead. Who wrote that? A seven-year-old?

I get it, and I'm fucking approved. Thank you, sir. That's a great shithead, actually. Okay. That's a great shithead. But it says, the movie. Like, which movie is he talking about? No, this one.

Episode one. Yeah, this one in my hand. But that's not part of the sentence. He's saying, well, can I do it? Yeah. Okay, it says, shithead, do not read until the end, of course. It says, fans of a franchise that hate the movie. He's saying, shithead, people that claim to be Star Wars fans but hate the Phantom Menace are shithead, do not read until the end, of course. It says, fans of a franchise that hate the movie. He's saying, shithead,

people that claim to be Star Wars fans but hate the Phantom Menace are shitheads, right? So fuck those people, I agree. Good shithead. I like that. I feel sorry for people that are like Star Wars fans but hate three of the movies. That must suck.

Can I tell you who I feel sorry for? People who take that fucking movie so seriously. Well, it's better than the other Bible. It's a fucking movie, dude. It's not real. It's not. It's not real.

It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. But it's better than the other Bible. We're about to see some nerds fight.

It's like seeing a unicorn. So, my plug, Doug, is it my turn to plug? Sure. Okay, I'll be in March. On March 8th, I'll be in a family court in Santa Monica dealing with my divorce.

I forgot to bring my phone. Everybody come down and join us. I forgot to bring my phone. I don't remember any dates that I'm doing, so I'm on Twitter and fucking Facebook. Or MySpace, actually. Yeah, check me out on MySpace. Check me out on MySpace.

I'll be at the Traverse City Comedy Festival in April, the Limestone Festival in Bloomington, Indiana in June. Lots of festivals and stuff over the summer. Go to douglosmovies.com for all the info. We did it, you guys. What a delightful... What a delightful panel. What a delightful audience. delightful panel what a delightful audience delightful club we've been having a blast here all weekend so keep

patronizing yeah okay Josh I'm gonna put you on the spot can I get a guest set tonight I don't want to get said if that helps I am clocking out in a couple of minutes and then I'm going to meet up with some people if you know what I mean yeah I know a guy

who's going to teach me how to fuck my own ass that's a million you're going to make a million You're going to make a million dollar baby in yourself But thanks again to Matt Fernandez Josh Wolf and Jacob Seroff Yes

And thanks to your sister And the guy that's doing the sound, I'm going to read two shitheads now and then have that ending theme ready to go. And they are Marilyn Monroe before she eats a Snickers bar. He's a shithead. And people who killed a baby dolphin while taking

selfies are a shithead. Thanks once again to our sponsor Postmates. Postmates is transforming the way local goods move around a city by enabling anyone to get any product delivered in under one hour. And you can get a free delivery with the code Doug. With a few taps, Postmates will bring any product right to your door in less than one hour. It's like magic. So

next time you don't want to leave your game, download the Postmates app on iTunes or Android and enter the code Doug, D-O- D O U G for a free first delivery. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.