Doug Loves Movies - Julia Mattison and Carmen Morales guest

Episode Date: June 19, 2020

Doug welcomes Julia Mattison and Carmen Morales to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, greenie babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love miscommunication. love miscommunication this is doug loves movies coming to you once again from a partly open partly closed completely confused country it's thursday uh june 18th i think now i'm questioning it uh pretty sure it's 2020 and joining me me for this Homes Alone edition, last week I screwed up the date at the beginning of the show, so that's the first thing I heard from everybody about the show, was I said the date wrong.

So we went in and fixed it, so I hope we don't have to fix it again. Do you think it is Thursday the 18th? That's what my phone says of june see that's the thing the last time my phone was lying to me that's why i got it wrong it wasn't my fault i'm a white man how could i be wrong uh joining me today are jul Madison and Carmen Morales. Yay! Woo! Thank you for having me.

Yay and woo. Yes, me as well. What an honor. Oh, it's so great. Yay and woo. It's great to talk to both of you. I screwed up. You know, I like to have three guests for the, you know, for the games and the whatnot.

But now I think I'm going to find out today that two guests might be a better number for these hard to communicate and banter situations like this. Oh, for sure. We'll see. We'll be a good test subject. Yeah. I think you're already killing it because everybody's taking turns talking.

Once you get four or five. It's like one of us completely stops and then somebody starts. And it's almost as if one person, like this might be Doug doing this by himself. And he's just working on all the voices that he does. Yeah. That nobody knows about. I got to say, we got to talk to the two of you individually so people know uh which is which meeting each other for the first time no i mean if they've never heard either of you

uh so far i've only said you know i've said your names but we haven't attached either voice to a name that's a fun game people could be playing right now. That's right, mystery. Which one is a Julia and which one is a Carmen? Because I don't think either would give it away really. Sure, because I don't sound Hispanic, so you need to know about that. Oh, no, the game is over. Wouldn't that be funny if that was just one of many you were going to say, but that you picked that one first, so.

one of many you were going to say but that you picked that one first so if i was talking like this it would have been a little bit easier for us to figure out which one is which one pero i don't talk like that so it's gonna be easier for them to figure out i'm gentrifying hispanic what's up what's up i always like to uh spell out julia or should i should say madison because you know to the to the naked ear probably sounds like madison as in like oscar madison but it's oh yeah mattison m-a-t-i-s-o-n that's right mattison that's right mattison the double the t the T I don't see it that often yeah well it's just because you also just go Julia Matt on the

socials that's right I don't know it was one of those choices I made when like you know Twitter first came out and it was like you do the one thing and then you stick to it and now there's no reason for it you know it's the most exciting story i've told for days i remember when twitter came out i was like i knew it was gay all along

oh yeah and by that i mean i'm very very open to it Okay. So do you guys have like an old screen name that was really embarrassing? Like, I remember my first one was like, it was like sweetie. Like there was like a big time where like sweetie was thrown around a lot. So I had like in middle school, they used to call me, uh, my nickname was CB, like Charlie Bravo, uh, because they used to call me the crazy bitch when I was in middle school because I was super outspoken and assertive, made a lot of dudes feel uncomfortable. You know, it was just my testosterone was popping when I was in middle school.

Oh, yeah. That was the time. Made a lot of dudes uncomfortable. So my screen name used to be Sweetie because I was nice. I was like a sweet crazy bitch. So it was like Sweetie CB2. That was like sweetie cb2 that was like my aim screen name you know what i mean oh yeah yeah i had a couple myself i started with um the dumbest and and purest which was raindrop 1000 and uh there was there was no purpose to it but i spent hours with, like asking my dad what he thought of it.

I remember I was just walking around just like debating it forever. And he was like, yeah, let's figure it out. No reason to it. And then my favorite one, though, was my friend in middle school and I created an AOL handle called Principal T. Lander, which was the name of our school principal. And we would log on and we would um instant message all of our friends on weeknights and go you should be doing your homework the original trolling yeah that's our original trolling opportunity it was a thrill ride there were many like that it was all uh never a good one i don't think i ever had a good screen name

that i'm proud of to this day what What about you, Doug? Did you have an embarrassing one? Well, yeah. When AOL first came along, you know, America Online, I was very excited, but when you sign up, you get kind of taken

off guard by having to have a screen name that is going to be the one that they insist is your master screen name that you cannot change oh yeah you know without starting a new brand new account so uh so i went with i was a big fan of the the movie uh clerks Jason Mewes in that movie is always saying Snoogins. And I think he says in Mallrats too. So I think it was, I think AOL came out around Mallrats time. So, so I just went with Snoogins,

but it was a blessing and a curse because then for years, for years, I would get messages from people who thought I was Kevin Smith. Because his name on AOL was also Snugans, but he spelled it, of course, correctly because his word, his friend came up with the word, you know, whereas in my case, I'm just guessing how it was spelled. So mine was with an I and his was with an a but it turns out more people think it's snoogins instead of snoogans you know so uh so yeah so it was a real thing for a while and then eventually kevin smith and i had kind of had it out about it

because um i would have too much fun with responding like i was kevin smith kevin smith i'm starting to get death threats because of you could you chill out i don't know what you're telling these people yeah i don't think i said anything terrible but i definitely like said stuff like that it's that weird thing where you're like well i wonder what they'd say back if they thought kevin smith said this or whatever but yeah but for the most part i ignored them which but that's also part of the problem was that uh you know then all these fans are getting ignored uh because they're writing to the wrong place sometimes i'd write back and say you know hey it's the other snoop you know it's the other way to spell snoogins wrong wrong snoogins well we're finding that

you're kevin smith was my principal tea lander we really enjoyed embodying some other people people in like a way more nice way yeah and really in really wholesome ways yeah in our lives kevin smith and I have intersected in several ways, but a lot of times it's through publicists or just walking into each other at Comic-Con or something. So, like, I don't – I think he has a pretty strong handle on who I am, but I'm not absolutely sure. So I feel like I skated on that.

Like, somehow he's not – he doesn't have a problem with uh when we confronted each other about snoogins i'm glad you guys were able to work it out amicably i'm glad it didn't come to blows over an aim screen name i don't think it ended amicably i think he forgot about it and then started smoking pot. That's like second, that's just as good as amicable. Just forgetting. You know, he's got, I mean, he's, you know, he's got so many comic book fans that want to argue about every single little thing imaginable.

Yeah. They wish you guys were arguing about it in like films. Like that would have been a really great world star video for them is you and kevin smith hashing out this snookin's debacle that would actually be yeah that would be huge i feel like he does not it's such a it would be such a minor blip on his his radar like i feel like it was a really big story for me. And in his life, it's just nothing. But still, the message boards would be going crazy, I'm sure. I'm sure there's a lot of threads going on with the appropriate way to spell it, even. I think he's become a guy that the water gets under the bridge for him

before it even gets to the bridge. Before the water gets under the bridge. You know, almost everything he it's got some sort of self insult in there like hey but what do i know and and he's just very he's just so friendly and self-deprecating it's uh i can't give weed all the credit but holy shit uh he's got a really uh really pleasant uh you know demeanor you know who else does that but it's in a really, really pleasant, you know, demeanor. You know who else does that? But it's in a more aggressive way is I think Burr is the same way. Like Bill Burr is the same way in that.

Like he, he goes, like he, like he thinks about how people are going to argue with him beforehand. And then he's like, he starts setting up his argument before like at the very beginning of the bit, you know what I mean? He's like, all right, before you get mad about this, this, this, and this, I already thought about this, this, this, this and this and this is why i'm saying this and now here's the thing i'm gonna say like it's so great yeah that's a talent

before they argue oh my god bill the third guest is here yeah bill's here you know hi bill you know i came by to promote the Staten Island movie. I'm Bill Burke. Bill, how are you doing? It's so good to hear from you. Can we deploy? That's the school of impressions that I come from, is to constantly say the name of the person.

You have to say the name. Bill Burke. Bill Burke. Oh, yeah, it does sound like Bill Burke, because why would anybody else say that over and over? Yeah, who would say his own name? I'm Bill Burr, Bill Burr, Bill Burr. You know, then there's like happy Bill Burr.

I'm Bill Burr. And then there's angry Bill Burr. I'm Bill Burr. Angry Bill Burr is higher, just louder. Yeah, it's a little scratchier. He doesn't smoke, but it feels like he has the voice for it oh that's not true he's uh he smoked weed before though there was a time he wasn't drinking and then he was on the road somewhere and uh my buddy was featuring for him and he invited me out and then uh they were like oh you you know bell's you know just trying to smoke some weed and i was like what

i was like i didn't i didn't know burr smoked marijuana but i think it was just because he wasn't drinking it was like you know something to take the edge off after the show type sitch yeah yeah that's the bill burr parrot i wish he was the answer to one of the questions. That would be good. That'd be too perfect to just get our Bill Burr on. I don't think he's going to come up,

except I do want to say that he is very good in that King of Saturn Island movie. And that the people that are surprised by that should not be because he was on The Mandalorian and he played a bad guy who was mean to Baby Yoda. Yeah. You have to be a good actor to not just behave as if Baby Yoda is the most adorable thing you've ever seen.

That's true. That is real talent. You have to really know how to act because deep down inside, Bill Burr was like, I can't believe Bill Burr said the cutest thing I've ever seen. That's true. That is real talent. You have to really know how to act because deep down inside, Bill Burr was like, I can't believe Bill Burr said the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life. That's the cutest baby ever. That's so fucking cute.

You want me to scream at this fucking football-sized adorableness? Bill Burr thinks it's cute. Oh my God, my neighbors are... Go to stamps.com. It starts reading ad copy in the middle of the movie. Oh, Bill. Thank you, Bill, for all the joy you bring us.

He's killing onstage, offstage. The guy's good. The guy's good. Yeah. He's good. He's probably, he gonna be like the new the new king of everything i think um but i wanted to say speaking of things that are impossible to not recognize for their adorableness is that Julia has a new love in her life. I do. I've got a new puppy. What kind of puppy is that thing?

She's a dachshund mix. So we adopted her. She's now 10 weeks old. We've had her for two weeks. And her mom's like a long-haired dachshund, and dad's a mystery so we don't know who she will become but she gets cuter by the day her name's ziggy she's uh eating everything she it's the it's that thing like i i always hear the stories i've never had a puppy i mean i grew up with the dog when i was a kid but the the truth of it being that like if you blink and look away for a, that dog is trying to eat something that will kill it.

Like I pulled out so many things out of this dog's mouth. Like I'm like stuff that there's nothing on the floor. And suddenly she's swallowing a zip tie, like the head of a nail, like just some kind of, she was eating wood. And then randomly, it's like within the first week, she was trying to like, she was, I took her outside to like go to the bathroom and she just started screaming because she was constipated. It was one of those things.

I was like, oh man, like just one thing, just these puppies, the cutest things in the world and just nonstop. I'm so exhausted because I'm just looking at all the time right now.'s in her little pen she's taking a break but y'all she's cute she's just running a small ace hardware store from the she's collected everything you need she's a small business owner let me just throw it up for you yeah yeah what do you need she's just going through inventory in her stomach let me let me feel around in here i got uh

is diggy short for diggy a dog dust is that was a full name diggy dog dust wait no i love that it is it should be diggy it's it's still ziggy so it is the ziggy stardust vibe but i also realized i thought you said diggy i actually really like diggy is it is 10 weeks do you like to change it maybe we'll change it i mean it's your dog like we could we could change it every couple of weeks that's so true i don't think a dog ever really knows their name. It just is the tone. Like, if I'm like, Ziggy, she'll run to me. But I could also be like, motherfucker, and she'll run to me.

Because it's just the tone, right? No, she's like, Ziggy was from, we like the Ziggy Stardust. We like that the Ziggy Marley, Ziggy means little spliff, which is cute as hell. You know, I hadn't known that. Adorbs. I sent Doug a picture. Yeah, worth smoking. When Ziggy gets in

trouble, you could say Zigmund. Oh, that's it. Okay, her full name now is Zigmund Freud. I love it. I think that's it. Alright, well, I just wanted to get that out of the way because I thought the puppy might be a distraction for you. So we just want to know if we have a level playing field. Are there any animals in your home, Carmen, that you have to keep an eye on?

No, not at all. It is barren in this apartment. No, not at all. It is barren in this apartment. The only thing I'm keeping alive is an orchid, and it's because it likes neglect. That's the only reason that flower is still alive. I'm actually surprised I've kept me alive during this. I'm crossing it right now. Yeah, it's the resilience of plants can be, it's amazing. They either give up too soon or they stick around for too long. It's weird.

Yeah, I appreciate that this one enjoys toxic relationships because we've been through it. She's thriving. It's almost like I'm a, who is the Tina turner what was tina turner's guy or whatever like yes i'm i'm this plant's ike turner in that i'll go too long without watering it like there's a there's some abuse going on but it's it you know it's it's flowering better than it ever has like maybe that's the it needs negative reinforcement this plant does i think oh yeah i don't see that maybe you can you know maybe this is rising from the ashes of which i'm creating you can talk about plant abuse right i don't get canceled for that right i think that's

okay yeah yeah yeah plants plants for territory but you know it's true you don't know anymore Plants for your territory. But, you know, it's true. You don't know anymore. It's hard to say. Yeah, I don't know. Who is it cool to be mean to now? I just want to know. I think that's what we have to do now is just go after inanimate objects and, you know, just things.

We just have to attack things more and, you know, love people more. You know. How many grams of mushrooms are you on? That sounds great. You know. Yes, please. I want some. I'm on day 102 of mushrooms.

Nice. I've been a big proponent of promoting microdosing oh yeah i don't do that i don't uh i don't mess with it but i have been smoking a ton of weed for sure what everything's the same yeah i didn't mean to drop a bomb on y'all i'm shaking right now whoa man i didn't know hold on hold on here i didn't know this was a confessions podcast holy shit we are getting in there i'm glad that you feel safe enough to share that with us i think i just yeah i'm very proud of you that you found within yourself the strength to share that with us i think i just yeah i'm very proud of you that you found within yourself the strength to share that information with us thank you well do you know what else has

really been keeping me uh you know sane during all of this what i hate to admit this i hate i hate to say this out loud it's you guys are going to be stunned uh movies whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa yeah here's my question here's my question here's my turn to weed and movies it's like a whole new life i'm just uh i'm gonna jump out of this window i can't handle that never touched this stuff until this pandemic have you ever thought of like maybe i don don't know, talking about this stuff? Like if you really love weed and you really love movies, like maybe like two things that you put a lot of your energy and focus on and just kind of push that out there to other people.

Because you know what? Other people like weed and movies. Yeah, there might be an audience for that. You know what? There might be people out there that go, you know what I like? Yeah, this reminds me. I almost forgot to mention that Gang Dog with High returns next Tuesday at 4.15 Pacific Time. See you next Tuesday.

At somewhere. I forget. I don't know where. It might be at betterbox.com. It might be at YouTube. It might be a YouTube might be both, but we're doing it wherever you can get them. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. You might just have to get high in your house and pretend it's me like watch an old episode, but we're going to try, we're going to try our best to be back on Tuesday, you know, remote edition, but you know, it still can be friends getting together and smoking remotely.

Here's my question for you guys, speaking of movies. Has there been a theme among this time of content that you're consuming? Like, you know how, like, a lot of chicks will have, like, themes for their wedding? I have a pandemic theme, and my pandemic theme has been nostalgia

comics for me. Yes. For me. Like that's the only kind of things that I'm consuming is that those have been my shaman through all of this is it's got to be from like 1987 to 19, like 97. I mean, it's some early odd stuff out there, some really odd stuff in there, but it's everything that i watched when i was a kid that i know i'll feel better feel better at the end like i did a lot of adventures in babysitting short circuit short circuit two batteries not included um yeah i'm going i'm going deep in to when i was a kid so that i know i'll feel good at the end of this so i'm not taking a lot of risks right now this is this is a thing i swear to you i had this conversation i have zoom sessions with my therapist because mental health is important and she said this thing very interesting she was like i was like why am i

only watching movies i've seen a million times why am i doing nostalgia watches all the time and she was like you know it's interesting during like times of major uncertainty and like terrifying times, we revert back to our childhood favorite things and movies that we've seen before so we could play out the ending so we can see a thing fully end and they're like no unknowns about it.

Fascinating stuff. I'm right there with you. Because we're drowning. Yeah, we're drowning yeah we're drowning in uncertainty so uh something that you know like i know this is going to work out at the end uh and that's why i'm watching it i want to see something uh succeed i wanted to see it i don't want to think these protests are for nothing yeah like we know that bill murray's going to be great and and richard dreyfus is going to lose it if we're watching What About Bob? We know it's going to end with that.

Oh, deep cut. This is like a B-side deep cut that nobody ever talks about. Richard Dreyfuss was in a movie called Let It Ride where he is like a guy that bets on horses. Jennifer Tilly is in it and she's fucking gorgeous. She's incredible. Complete

dime piece. And she plays this, she plays like the wife of like a really rich gambler and he's just having like the best day ever as far as a betting person goes and he's like still a short guy in the in the whole movie so then everybody starts busting his balls when he starts winning that he looks taller because like that was a thing back then like when you if you had a bunch of money on you you were supposed to keep it in your shoes so they just made it seem like he was wearing elevator shoes just because he had some cash in his these hideous ass loafers this takes place in uh 1994 yes i think it was early 90s or late 80s let Let's let it ride. That's when it came out, though, was it?

But it was more of a period piece? Or was it, we're talking about Money in Your Shoe, this, that recently? No, no, this was, I mean, the movie was, the movie was, I think it was set at that time. I don't think it was a period piece. Oh, okay. Were people putting money in their shoes in the 80s i don't know

i don't remember that i think that was a thing for like among gamblers like you didn't get robbed yeah like yeah there's a lot of gambler i think a lot of uh gambler lingo in that movie definitely i have not seen this movie let it ride it's got a lot of ride baby it's a lot of character actors it's almost exclusively at the racetrack and it's uh i think it's uh maybe worth a watch but like one thing that people seem to want to avoid or when i say people i mean me is uh you know things that that are too tense that have too much tension in them yeah i don't need another thing to be really concerned about especially in my entertainment well that's why it's so crazy to me that so many people were watching pandemic and contagion and shit and it was like what are

you doing i was like we're already this is already all day why would you want this as your distraction like did you watch tiger king while you were being mauled by a tiger like that makes absolutely no fucking sense like it's like i just don't get that i want the no it's real i want i was so i was so against it forever and then i finally did it there was one day like weeks in you know what i saw like it was the number one downloaded on whatever yeah it's like let's watch contagion let it. Like, I can't resist a trend. And so we watched it. And I realized why everybody's watching it. Because again, it like, it gives you, I mean, it's also like a worse circumstance. But it also has a beginning and an ending.

And it has people like that seem very intelligent breaking down how to fix it. And it was really surprisingly nice to hear people who actually have a plan about something. And so I was like, oh, I get it. And it was really surprisingly nice to hear people who actually have a plan about something. And so I was like, oh, I get it. Like, it's better to imagine these people in this magical world where people actually, the government knows what to do and there's a way to make it end. It was fantasy. It was great. It's almost like, oh, look how they're doing it on that timeline. This one sucks. Yeah, this one sucks. But there was so, it's trippy. Like, it was almost one of those, like, you have to do,

it's like watching, listening to Dark Side of the Moon and watching Wizard of Oz. It's one of those, like, you have to, like, notice the parallels. It's crazy. Like, there's so many, like, there's a fake drug, like the hydroxychlorine, whatever it's called. There's a version of that in the movie it's ridiculous but you know go watch it it's fun you know all i needed was that that's

all i needed to hear you know i mean doesn't gwyneth paltrow die rather quickly uh yes i would watch that scene over and over again yeah so that's what i'd say i'd recommend to people just watch until that happens yeah just yeah maybe that's it just do just get a taste watch watch the goop drop and then move on watch the goop drop watch the goop drop dead baby yeah oh man she she gets can we have a gwyneth paltrow's death candle i would buy that yeah she gets real goopy in that death it's a really good one though the death candle smells exactly like the vagina overpriced

i smell a waste of money the other thing is like when I have really dark days I was watching I was doing this really insane thing where I was watching Groundhog Day over and over and over again so I was watching the same scenes like in triplicate and like quintuplet like there was like i'm watching it so many times and then it got to the point where i was watching it just for the suicide montages when i'm like oh man or like that or like that oh or like that yeah what about the toaster why not the toaster yeah no brown honda drive me into a ravine that sounds amazing i'm just imagining you watching this on loop and yelling at your orchid just with all the lights

off is this what you wanted why didn't you tell me what you wanted to watch just lose my shit yeah i mean i have lost a couple of arguments to a few uh stuffed animals opinionated stuffed animals that i have in my room for sure but well you know they can't all be agreeable after a long time together they stare at me with those passive aggressive dead ass eyes and then expect me to not have a reaction like give me something else then that's right say something useful as soon as the pandemic started i put all my stuffed animals away because I just knew that they were going to be all attitude and not helpful.

They just stare at you. It's also because you didn't want them to see you like this. They just judge you. That's also true. They're just looking at you when you wipe down the counter haphazardly. They just look at you when you wipe down the counter haphazardly they just look at you when you pick your nose okay so i've got a game prepared for us to play or for the two of you to play rather right if you don't mind um but before we do

that we gotta it would be bad if i minded now like if i agreed to do the podcast like i don't know that's it by the way i don't want to play i'm out of here no we got to go to a quick commercial break but it's super super fast it's faster than you can say bill burr uh we will be right back we're back back. See, I told you. We're back and you didn't finish it. You couldn't get it out. That was amazing. How fast it was,

but also how slow you said Bill Burr. Welcome back, everybody. I've prepared a new game I'm very excited about. We played it once before. Tested it in a few places. But this is the first time

the two of you will be playing it. It's called Popularity Contest. And I should give credit to It's Aaron Barry pointed out this very interesting thing on IMDB which is a site that I love because, of course,

IMDB, but also you can go there for all of your movie trivia needs. Turns out, ladies, that when you go to a movie on IMdb for each movie when you click on cast list or entire cast or something like that they'll list everybody in the order that's pretty much the order and the credits or the you know as mandated by the studio and sometimes just a weird random list. I don't, I never understand. Like I'm not top billed in my own like movies where I'm the main person. I don't feel top billing. Yeah. So it's weird. But if you click on a thing, once you have the cast list open, it will flip to a list of in

order. I mean, I can't imagine an actor finding out about this and not looking themselves up and not wanting to kill themselves. It's this in order the popularity who's the most popular in that movie. Oh no! That's great. Which I think means

most searched on IMDb just prior to the thing being clicked on. I feel like that's the algorithm. But it is a little stranger to that, as you will find out in this game. Because what's going to happen is we're going to start with Julia Matteson because it comes alphabetically before Carmen Morales. But, of course, you both get to go first once because we'll play two rounds of this game. Okay. And we'll have a third round ready if there's a tie after two rounds.

So I'm going to name a movie. And then this first round, Julia, you go first. You tell me the name of an actor or actress who you think would be the, you know, you want to shoot for top build, the top build person. Yeah. According to popularity and according to IMDB. And then we'll go to Carmen. You get to hear Julia's process.

You can agree with her. You can change your answer to something else. But it's three points if you get the top-billed person, two points for second, and first for third. And it's, like I said, I think it's based on popularity, a combination of popularity and weirdness. Love it. Okay.

So it might not be the person that we think it is. It might be somebody else. Maybe timeliness. Yeah. Okay. But also I picked movies where it might be kind of a crapshoot who would get first anyway, in case it's the obvious answer. All right.

Because it changes, right? it changes by the day i bet it does like whenever i check this i wrote it down and that's that's the official answer so even if you had a delorean cheating would be difficult right sounds. Because those don't really go back in time. That's right. If you did have a working time machine, yes, you could go back and figure this out ahead of time. Don't leave yet. You have to hear the whole game first, then go back in time to find out.

Yeah. Let's figure this out, this time machine. Julie. The whole killing Hitler thing. Forget the killing Hitler thing. yeah let me let's figure this out this time machine for the next juli uh hitler thing we gotta get to the bottom of this movie situation it always ends up it always goes to killing hitler with you carmen all right the move the motion picture is magnolia lots of of actors in that Paul Thomas Anderson epic with the frogs falling from the sky. Who do you think in that lot of folks would be the number one, or at least closest?

Ooh. Magnolia. Okay. Let's see. Given, I'm trying to think, think like what's been going on recently maybe a john c riley okay i don't i'm trying to think yeah oh is that your answer or no i'm gonna make that I'm gonna make my my

answer wait John C. Reilly isn't he in Magnolia yeah oh yeah yeah he's in it oh man I don't remember I remember Philip Seymour Hoffman in that movie he's a cop that gets all disgraced because he loses his gun he meets the girl that's always on cocaine and she thinks she might be able to have a better life because now she's with a fucking cop yeah i feel like he was like he'd be like low bill then but like a top popularity guy yeah these days that was a happy ending then and now it really sucks that she did you know that a cop that a guy that wants to be a cop is that is you know somehow her savior loses his gun oh yeah idiot okay idiot idiot idiot okay um what do you think carmen um just for just at a popular i mean you obviously don't agree with john c reilly What do you think, Carmen?

Just had a popular – I mean – You obviously don't agree with John C. Reilly. You didn't even know he was – you know, you didn't think he was an option. I didn't. I totally forgot about him being in that movie. It's long. The major players are – is the redhead lady that was in 30 Rock in nine months, Julianne Moore. Julianne Moore. redhead lady that was in 30 rock in uh nine months uh julian moore uh julian julian just thought you said her name yes i just fell asleep i'm here what i wasn't sleeping i think julian i mean so it's not the main

like it's Julian Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Tom Cruise I think would be the top three it's quite the ensemble cast yeah you want to go with you think Julian Moore would be number one most popular from that movie I mean my favorite is Philip Seymour

Hoffman because I love that guy I'm going to go with Philip Seymour Hoffman because I love that guy. I'm going to go with Philip Seymour Hoffman. You know, he hasn't been doing as much recently, unfortunately. No, but it's never – Oh, that's true. It's never a wasted vote, though, for anything for Philip Seymour Hoffman. Like for president. That's a good ride in

another one where he wasn't even in the main he wasn't the main guy but he was so rad was in along came polly along came polly is one of those like shaman movies that i love and i watch over and over and over again that's my scene where uh the scene where he's supposed to give the presentation with no information about what he's supposed to say or do is so funny clearing his throat constantly oh my god volcano losing such a good movie oh yeah he was great um okay so uh julianne moore was did come in third in the magnolia steeplechase uh so you get one point carmen and then uh number two and this is part of the reason why I chose this, because it's so silly. Number two is Patton Oswalt. Really?

Yeah. Amazing. He dies in our first scene. No, my God. He dies immediately. He's dead before the credits, and he's the second most popular of all those people right now. That's amazing.

He's the Gwyneth Paltrow of Magnolia he has a goop goop goop hey don't burn here for goop i use it i use it i put in my mustache not laughing at my own terrible billboard impression all right so the more you do it the funnier it gets apologies for not mentioning this yet coming in at number one from magnolia is tom cruise that makes sense let me see he did get nominated for an oscar for it that's true and he's still quite famous he it was probably his most unlikable character other than that guy in cocktail who thought people wanted a poetry instead of a

drink that guy was worse that guy was worse than the guy who teaches that guy's like the mc dude that guy tom cruise and cocktail is like like an MC that does 20 minutes in between comics. You know what I mean? He's the guy that's like. You know, the last comic had a bit about cats. So let me do 23 minutes on cats real quick before I bring up your next comedian. I should have went with the hacky answer damn it

well you know he did get nominated for an Oscar for it so and he is always in the news because isn't he like isn't he like going to isn't Mission Impossible going to take place in space the next one

that's right yeah he's doing his own stunts in space yeah he's going to space for reals yeah that's that would be the answer i was really taking a shot in the dark with uh john c being as popular as don cruz all right let's play another round carmen's ahead by only one point so it's anybody's game all right yeah and this next movie is uh well you'll see who do you think who do you think this crazy ass algorithm thinks is the most popular person in dream girls the motion picture based on the broadway musical

i mean it's gotta be that's gotta be eddie murphy i mean in this game that's gotta be is a dangerous thing to put in front of your answer or jennifer hudson uh um um no i'm gonna go i'll go with jennifer hudson you know the thing to keep in mind is anyone who's in this movie is eligible it's really weird like they don't they don't just do the main roles they do like all the way down to the smallest part which i hate recently patent yeah you looked at it you what did you say you looked at the movie recently oh yes yeah not in the last like year and so i'm that's recent yeah but also what has been, what is a year, you know, what is time? Yeah. Yeah. A big part of me wants to say, obviously Beyonce, but if we're going weird, I'm trying to dig into that Rolodex and thinking about current events.

that rolodex and thinking about current events i'm gonna throw i'm gonna throw another weird one in because i have a memory of john krasinski being in dream girls i think wasn't he like a wasn't he like a small role in Dreamgirls? He's like a TV or movie executive or something in a scene with, Beyonce's talking to him and John Lithgow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just one scene and they're like, I think they're insulting to her both racially and sexually. That's right. Just the worst people.

It's a horrible scene like litsko's got a ponytail to signify this guy's a douchebag and uh john is you know is jim halpert smile on it's weird yeah unnecessary i don't understand any of these musicals where they add some weird talking scene although that scene was probably in the original show but could have so easily been cut yeah yeah it's definitely yeah it's one of those unnecessary scenes very much unnecessary so in this game i feel like in my heart it shouldn't be john krasinski but there's a chance it might be is that your final answer? I think instead of Eddie Murphy, I'm going to go with Jamie Foxx.

I'm going to go with Jamie Foxx. That's what I want. Jamie Foxx is my official answer. All right, Carmen's changing her answer long past the time when you can do so. But at least it's not just agreeing with uh agreeing with julia so what's your pick julia uh never in my life did i think i'd have to pick between beyonce and john krasinski for the lead girls uh i'm gonna i'm gonna gamble on the uh

the weirdness of this game i'm gonna say John Krasinski with all the some good news. You know, he's in the news a lot. Let's give it a shot. Let's see what happens. All right. Well, coming in at number three with a value of one point is, in fact, Jamie Foxx. Yes.

No, that's a used one. I'm on the board. Somen's got the one point for that but you know of course i allowed her to switch at the last minute because thank you i do number two was of course eddie murphy damn it i should have switched it to eddie murphy myself damn it i feel like i just lost on the pick the suitcase with the more money one. No, I think here's the sad, sad reality of this, this game. And I'll give you another example of it in a second, but yes, indeed. It is John Krasinski.

Is it really? You gotta be kidding me. Yeah. so Julia wins you don't really win anything but it's still it's an adrenaline rush I am rattled and saddened that that is the correct answer it's a terrible way to win but

it's so clever of you to figure out I could have done that to a million people and they never would have pulled his name out to remember that he was in it and also to take a risk on him being more popular than freaking bouillon say that's just i mean that's the weird thing that i'm like this i counted down the list to see where jenner for hudson fell and it's she was number 12 wow whoa yeah it's very strange it's a very strange uh uh thing and i i'm now feeling like it's uh more white people type in things on i mean truly that's i'm like oh of all the things

john kazin's gonna be top billing and dream girls is so sad it doesn't make any sense there's like 16 black people that they could somebody could have mentioned john krasinski oh he's yeah i guess he's on he's in the news all the time now they tried to cancel him you know they tried to bring him back they brought him back he's a good guy apparently i don't know i think he's good. I think he, you know, is a good director. He made that A Quiet Place movie that everybody loved. Yeah. And then, yeah, now he's doing this good news stuff where he gets people together and does nice things. They're very sweet things. I watched like the graduation one. Did you watch that?

They're very sweet things. I watched the graduation one. Did you watch that? I haven't watched any of them. I really appreciate them in spirit, but I just get jealous that there's this weird thing in the pandemic where when you're super famous, you can get super famous people

to participate in your shit. Oh, yeah. Hence, Doug loves movies. Look at this lineup, baby. the crap right here we're down here scrambling around i can't you know imagine what kind of guests you guys are getting on your podcast i got my dog's vet on speed dial. We got it. No, I'm great. That's what I, I love just laughing with my actual,

actual friends on these things. And it's been working out pretty good in that sense. But check out, check out this IMDb for the movie Two Guns, which I'm glad didn't, we didn't actually have to play this one today because I would imagine neither of you

are too familiar with Two Guns starring Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg. No. No, I don't think I've seen it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Was that when there were two cops and then they were trying to do a heist together or something like that?

They're together. They're against against each other they're together again there's a you know it's one of those movies where there's a you know a twist uh every few minutes and but in in the meantime lots of over-the-top unbelievable uh action and uh you know like mark was he he wears like a fedora or something right is it that one i don't know what movie you're action. And, you know, like Mark Wahlberg. Yeah, but Denzel Washington, he wears like a fedora or something, right? Is it that one? I don't know what movie you're talking about. I don't think he wears a fedora because there's a lot of gunplay. It's called Two Guns.

And I believe both of those actors each have two guns. So I don't know why they didn't call it Four Guns. I guess maybe it just was a gun. I have a vague... I think it would fit should be four guns. I have a vague. It would fit on a marquee. I have like a vague visual memory of them in the poster, like back to back holding,

holding guns. Back to back holding guns, pointing them out. And then there was like, like money confetti. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So yeah, that's as far as my knowledge of this movie goes. And I'm pretty sure that's a Washington is wearing a fucking fedora. I think he's one of those kind of old this movie goes, but I do remember that. And I'm pretty sure that's a Washington is wearing a fucking fedora. I think he's one of those kind of old-timey hats. It wasn't a movie. It wasn't a movie.

It was a smart investment. It was somebody that was like, let's give the biggest white movie star and the biggest black movie star, let's get them together and give them both guns. Give them guns. There's no script. It's amazing. It's just, but everybody's in because you know everybody uh you know especially the worst aspects of society actually have an opinion of which one should win oh interesting i go into that one wanting denzel to win not you know not just for

racial justice but also because denzel is a million times better than Mark Wahlberg. I would agree. Oh, yeah, without question. So they're against each other in it, though? Because if they're back-to-back in the post, you're very misleading. They are for a time, but then they get, you know, it's one of those things where they keep shifting alliances. Wasn't it like an enemy of my enemy is my friend? Sure. I was going to say it was like an enemy of my enemy is my friend,

where it was like they both ended up having a mutual enemy so they ended up like helping each other out but originally they were like going in on for the original like t they were competing with each other it was almost like the one of those classic assassin films where it's like two assassins trying to kill the same person and then they join forces and like it was one of those yeah yeah yeah yeah and then they double cross each other at was one of those yeah yeah yeah yeah and then they double cross each other at the end it's the same thing all the time it's it's just the dumbest uh tropes and uh i do love a good con movie like matchstick men that was a really great con movie i do love a good con yeah i've never seen that one that's the difference though it's like this is

just violence just for the sake of it and uh coming in at number three and two guns was uh james marsden which is that's fine i like that guy but between walberg and denzel denzel is number two what walberg is number one and there's just no way that if that was a random sampling of you know what people like although mark walberg is the number one the highest paid movie star is it the rock now i think it might be the rock one of them is the highest paid and the other one makes the most money you know how there's those like accolades that sound like the same thing but they're different yeah what's the difference there you know what i mean like one of them made it because highest paid in a movie made it with movies the

other one made it with all of their effort you know all the different enterprises combined like there's all these rich lists so there's always lots of different people on them but i think they're both very rich i think james marsden made a third just because of dead to me i think that's the only reason why he's even on that radar right because people are just looking him up like who's that guy while they're watching dead yeah what else was that guy i know i seen that guy what else was he in yeah yeah yeah if we had if we had played two guns i wouldn't have even remembered mark walberg i wouldn't even remember uh the poster until we really unpacked it. I would have had no points.

There was definitely a movie I watched because I was dating a guy that liked to watch movies. I would have never chosen that one for sure. Yeah, super into this. Yeah. No, that's the thing. The guys always get a pick is the craziest. It's so weird to me as a guy because you're just like, why would – you know what I mean one for you kind of things in relationships which are nice but it's just that like when you look at the box office tallies and what drives movie theater ticket sales which is teenagers going to the movies the boys get to pick all the time what

movies they're going to so that's why these shitty action movies are the best you know and horror movies they want the girl to jump in their lap, you know? So they're just driving. Highest grossing. Exactly. It's just, it's just so horrible, you know, and it just, as it, because more and more clear to me, I'm just like, why isn't everybody catching up to this quicker?

You know, and then race is another thing like there's just movies made by everybody for everybody yeah very much what are you doing juliet to help this let's do this we gotta get to work um i make that dude watch along came polly with me again that's what happens right but that's the other thing is that he still wins because along came polly's a perfectly good dude movie well then he got lucky damn it like i mean it's either that or rango or the fifth element or like any films that are gonna make me feel good that's right you're making all the choices this is the thing it's the mix out of the the dude movie versus the not it's like what's the line we don't know everybody's different well here's the thing too yeah

that's what you do yeah there's stereotypes about what people like but yeah everybody's an individual but uh boy that uh fifth element what you do with that is as for your turn when you watch fifth element is you make them watch every chris tucker scene twice in a row like you just go back and watch chris tucker again because i bet he hates that part uh well like the thing was is is every dude that i've tortured with that movie i know all of the words to that movie like that's how well that's how it's one of my favorite movies of all time so they have to listen to me recite the chris tucker parts uh over and over again so i think that's worse i think they know that directly from chris tucker than for me i don't know though your voice is more pleasant that's some special surround sound

that'd be a real experience what about how does he feel about the blue lady who sings oh it's great who doesn't love that lady that's just epic okay come on that's epic you can't because they sort of cut back between her and um and something violent happening right yeah that's what that luke basson made that movie for a couple to both enjoy it's a thing like how a princess bride always gets a pass by dudes um there's still plenty of movies where they have like along came poly is one of those because it's funny enough like it's more funny than it is romantic so it's like i also like those movies when it's like because that's where uh that's

where um uh something about mary really uh you really kind of broke that open. Like, oh yeah, there could be a movie where the women enjoy the humor as much as the men, even though it was still gross-out stuff, which I wish hadn't become a thing for so long. Yeah. That whole American Pie era really changed things, for sure. Oh, yeah. One of those that doesn't hold up. One of those poo-poo-caw-caw movies.

Yeah. Let's just see how many. And then I always love when it would be like unrated and it's just one scene where you see a chick's tits and it's just like, oh, okay. It was very exciting, guys. This is very exciting. I just rewatched Can't Hardly Wait

and it was great. It was a great rewatch. It's it's it's tough in those where you're like does it hold up or not or is it just tapping into that nostalgia element or like you're very forgiving of stuff that might not hold up so well anymore yeah but some are some are eek i can't do a lot of them something about mary fantastic you know what's another one is really good like that is uh forgetting sarah marshall forgetting sarah marshall fucking favorites dude so good and i love you man i love you man has doesn't really have like the the the love story is like a b plot um because the friendship story is the a plot and that's like that's another one that's like

incredibly made i love that movie as well carmen i feel like you could list off like two dozen movies right now without without uh missing a beat two dozen do it go any no stop don't do that okay we gotta go okay and text me later and i want to hear you just yeah i just said that was my way of saying i wish we had time to discuss all these and that i'm sure you have many more because you're uh you know i know you smoke uh weed uh maybe not i don't know probably the same amount as me and uh i don't know that anybody smokes the same amount of weed that you do i aspire you got that goal one day you got a pretty strong memory over there is there anywhere people can watch you do uh stand-up comedy uh you know under these circumstances oh they they absolutely can i uh i run a small little uh zoom show uh that's actually one of

the only good zoom show comedy shows that exists there's only like four and one of them is mine and uh it's uh i do them like almost every week usually like every other week and uh it's five bucks it's free if you're a medical worker um you just dm me and uh like you can venmo me uh the admission it's at the funny carmen or hit me up on all the assorted social media it's also at the funny carmen i made it easy for everybody to access me i'm doing one uh the 20th that's this saturday the 20th uh and i have clayton english and trey Crowder on and myself and it's like a super fun party vibe like people drink and smoke and stuff and

there's like a fun hang post show it's a great time I also have a podcast called No Sir I Don't Like It where I have people on and they talk about shit we don't like and that's always a super fun riff fest and CarmenMorales.com for all of your Carmen Morales needs that's always a super fun riff fest in carmenmorellis.com for all of your Carmen Morellis needs.

That's about it. I think I would have too long of a list of things I don't like. That's why we cap it at an hour. I'm not trying to make Joe Rogan numbers here. You know what I mean? Those three-hour episodes. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I guess people probably have the time for that right now,

but I just like, I really like trying to keep things tight because I know when I'm watching anything or listening to anything lately, I like points to be gotten to. You know, I don't like a meandering conversation at this point. It makes sense. I feel you. Julia, you're creating speaking of meandering you're creating on the daily right are you doing a song a day is that

did i construe that correctly you know we did we were doing a song a day for the holidays and we've switched it to a song a week for uh covid times just because for stamina's sake we don't know when this will end and so we figured we'd give ourselves a little pace okay we we just took a week or two off but we do a new song every friday on instagram at advent carolander c-a-r-o-L-N-D-A-R It's Advent Calendar Advent Carolander Is in the holidays

And right now we're doing a COVID Quarlander For quarantine So we're just doing new quarantine songs Every Friday So we have a new one coming out tomorrow And every Friday after that For hopefully not forever Could you tag me in a uh a tweet that has all

that information in it i'll yes i'll retweet it and say as mentioned on on dlm because uh those there's a lot of spelling in there there is a lot of spelling you definitely made it difficult for people to uh to achieve finding yeah yeah no we'd like to be low numbers you know i want people to find it and i also um i think that you you probably had how many weeks of songs have you done already um well we skipped the last two so we have about five so far we started late we started in a bit late and so hopefully we won't you know right you got 20 minutes you got 20 minutes you can probably hear the five songs right now as a funnel oh yeah listen to them all back to back yeah each are a minute long short and sweet oh yeah so there you

go you're out in under 10 minutes and uh and then looking forward to the uh the next one which is will be a week from now yeah our first uh tomorrow will be our next one and then will be a week from now. Yeah, tomorrow will be our next one and then the next Friday. It gets so confusing, but we tape this on a Thursday and people listen at first on a Friday. That's right. Forget what I said.

We'll tweet in time for all of this. That's the great thing about taping something ahead of time. This will be out late tonight. And thank you both so much for being here. Thanks so much for having me. Thanks, Doug. I should say, thank you so much for being there.

Oh, yes. It's an honor to be here. Yeah. It's funny, I close every episode now with a line from the final line from a motion picture. And this one I had to write down because I don't remember it, you know, I don't have it memorized. It's not that long either.

But anyway, thanks again. And we'll see you next time. And as always, let's just wait here a while, see what happens. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, because Doug loves movies.