Doug Loves Movies - Julian McCullough, Dave Hill, Chris Cubas and Rob Cantrell guest

Episode Date: June 17, 2015

Doug welcomes comics Julian McCullough, Dave Hill, Chris Cubas and Rob Cantrell to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seats with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and... I love movies. This is Doug and I love movies. Coming to you from our monthly home at the UCB Theater in Los Angeles, it's Thursday, June 16, 2015.

Sunday we taped a very exciting installment of the Super Tournament of Championships, which will be available for two bucks in the comedy album section in about a week. Or now, if you're listening to this after a long enough period of time, that it's available now. So go take a look. Minneapolis. Douglas Movies

returns this Friday to the Women's Club of Minneapolis at 7 o'clock. It's an odd venue, but it works. It's a nice hall. We'll talk about women's movies. I got three to four

very special guests for that show. Sunday, Doug Loves Movies returns to the Helium Comedy Club. It's a gas! In Portland, Oregon. DougLovesMovies.com DougLovesMovies.com Apologies to the dude who made the black

Ocean's Eleven sign in Washington, D.C. I shouldn't have refused such a good name tag, the opportunity to name a shithead, but then again, you know, put your shithead on the back of your name tag. Thank you. That's settled. The prize bag

has got lots of good stuff in it including two of my albums and Douglas Movies t-shirt and a

a pen from where is it oh my nose is running too this is this is crazy got a pen

from Honey Farm it doesn't have the cartridge part but it's got the pen it's a pretty sweet pen and I know a guy that might be able to hook you up because I don't think I can just give away

you know marijuana even if it's in a liquid form maybe I could I don't know who cares let's get my guests out here you guys really fun show we got four great guests as you can see from the four chairs. I mean, you don't know they're going to be great, but there's four chairs.

And these guys are all regulars on the show. So please give a big, warm welcome to Rob Cantrell, Chris Cubis, Julian McCullough, and Dave Hill. Come on out, Chris. That's a good, uh, priority to be able to get through the whole show without having to get up. It's Chris Cubis, everybody, from Austin, Texas, in town to getting Doug with High yesterday, and tomorrow, you're going to be

on your second appearance on At Midnight. That's right. Trying to make it two for two. Yeah. Oh, you won the first time? I did. Who'd you beat? John Lennon. Tom Lennon. I beat Johnson. John Lennon and George Harrison. I did getting...

I did getting Doug with high yesterday, so I've forgotten everything. I did Tom Lennon and Steve Agee. Oh, okay. Couple of losers. But those guys, yeah, they're very funny, so good job. Do you know who you're playing against this time? Matt Myra and Hannah Hart.

Okay. Yeah, it's going to be fun. So, yeah. So, prediction? Prediction is I win again. Hannah Hart will be eliminated. And I don't know. Matt's a tough competitor, and he writes on the show, so he kind of knows the ins and outs of it.

I'm going to Tanya Harding'm early, so it's over. Oh, okay. Taking that knee out quick. I love it. That's a great plan. Dave Hill is back on the program, you guys. Thank you. He's got a new album that's out there and available right now.

It's called Let Me Turn You On. And it looks like you're making balloon animals for a birthday party for a monkey on the cover. Is that what's happening? Yeah. Alright, I guess I described it perfectly. Do you have anything to add? Well, no, it all references

when you listen to the album, you'll then look back at the cover and you're like, now I get it. I didn't want to say anything, but I won on Ad Midnight last night. It was last night? I won, yeah. Who'd you beat? Some fuckers.

I don't even know. No. Margaret Cho and Matt Lucas. Oh, good job. Thank you. Well done. Rob Cantrell is here, you guys, visiting us from the East Coast. Hello.

Brooklyn. California. Yeah. How's it going, buddy? It's us from the East Coast. Hello. Brooklyn. California. Yeah. How's it going, buddy? It's going good. It's going good, Doug. All right. And you brought something very interesting for the prize bag.

Yeah. Because I've never seen these before, and I kind of wanted to just keep them instead of giving them away. It's big sunflower seeds, the bacon salt sizzling bacon. Bacon salt. Could they have bacon and salt written on here more times? No, not enough. Not enough. And it's on the back as well. And let's see if there's

any sugars in this. There's one gram of sugar. So it's healthy. Yeah. So it's just anytime you ever wanted to gnaw on some sunflower seeds and you're like, holy fuck, this could use some bacon. Together it lasts. It's breakfast sunflower seeds.

Or when you're having a nice brunch with sunflower seeds. And then there's a dude on the front of it that's a baseball player. I bet you baseball players love these. Do you gnaw on those things? Do you eat sunflower seeds? Nuh-uh. I mean, I used to when I was a kid,

when I had time to open up every goddamn sunflower seed. Because I'm not somebody that can manipulate it in my mouth and get the job done that way. I have to take my fingers and crack it and get it out of there. I always spaz out and just start gnawing on it, and then I have a whole mouth full of splinters. And it's just like stabbing me. I'm like, damn it, sunflowers. And now it's going to be

bacon flavored, so it'll be cool. The drawing of that baseball player looks like he played before black people were allowed in the MLB. You can't,

I guess you can't see it, but he looks very racist. Yeah, there's, there's definitely something racist. This guy looks racist? I mean, the hat, that's an old timey,

Oh, okay. It's a racist hat. Negro's hat. Okay. Doug, you know what they say about... Popularizing bingo long in the traveling all-stars. What? You know what they say about if you can open a sunflower seed with your mouth

says how good you are at going down on a sunflower. That's Julian McCullough, everybody. Coming out swinging. Swinging. and McCullough, everybody, coming out swinging. Once you've been able to do that, then you can move up to tying the stem of a cherry in your mouth, which I also cannot do. But that's fun to just tie it in a knot to begin with, but pretend to put it in like it's regular, and then people are impressed.

You could do even more elaborate designs. Like make a dog. Balloon animals. Yeah, like a doggy. Out of a cherry stem. And then be like, is this sexy? And pull a doggy stem out of your mouth. What did you bring for the prize bag, Julian? What is this thing?

Well, I don't have a CD. Uh-huh. Comedy CD. So I brought the CD of the guy who I'm named after, Julian Cannonball Adderley. He was a saxophonist for Miles Davis. And that's his masterpiece something else so i signed it and uh it says keep jazz and julian mccullough yeah he signed his because i don't know how to

talk about jazz so it's a really rare item because it's probably rare enough to begin with but you know how many other copies are signed by you that right are out there i know probably none that's very generous of you to call that rare. And Chris brought a whole bag of stuff? I did some stuff. I got an At Midnight t-shirt

because I'm fat and they don't make those. Hollywood doesn't make fat-sized t-shirts. They don't give you an XL. I brought a cassette of the person I was named after. It's the soundtrack

to American Tail. My name's American. And I brought a bunch of Donnie Wahlberg trading cards. Are you going to give those away? Yeah. Those are in perfect condition. They're pretty solid. Yeah, they're definitely minty.

One of them's a Jonathan, but on the back there's like half of Donnie's face. They didn't make a lot of Donnies, so I had to take what I could get. Well, because when you get all the cards, you can put them together like a puzzle. Yeah, and it can make a bigger picture of the guys. Yeah, Donnie's, he's holding a wiffle ball bat like a tough guy in one of the pictures, which is impressive. Oh, so we know that he did it like this and he did it like that. Which is impressive.

Oh, so we know that he did it like this and he did it like that. Yeah, and also I should mention that Dave was kind enough to bring a little snack. Bonus. A bonus snack. It's a cheese and turkey croissant. Yeah. I got it as a ham and cheese croissant, too, but I ate it. But that one's... I'm glad you didn't eat the turkey one because that'll just make it for you we need to yeah you could be alert to play these games uh we got a lighter

from chameleon glass and a uh rubber band wristband thingy that says something on it happy birthday mario and uh so you'll wear that with pride, even though you don't know Mario. Also, I got a T-shirt that says, phone homie on it. Yeah, phone homie. And as you can see on the back, it's got the E.T. logo. And it says, in his adventures. No, it doesn't. Oh, okay. And also a piece of glass made by my friend Coral Reefer made a cool little fish glass thing.

All of that's going to go in the prize bag. But let's quickly go through the panel and just discuss recent movies. What was the last movie you saw, Julian? Oh, what was the last movie I saw? Okay, we'll move on to Rob. I didn't mean to throw such a hard question at you. We'll come back to you. Rob?

I saw the Mad Max movie today. Fury Road. Fury Road. Yeah, did you like it? No, I didn't mean to throw such a hard question at you. We'll come back to you. Rob? I saw the Mad Max movie today. Fury Road. Fury Road. Yeah, did you like it? No, I didn't. I liked the guy with the guitar. I thought he was pretty cool. The guy, you would like just metal riff guy.

Oh, sweet. Like fire would shoot out of his guitar? Yeah. But he couldn't take any requests. He had to stick with metal riffs. You can't do a reggae version if you're going to do the apocalypse on some motherfuckers. You can't do it

dumb. And then I saw the Bob Weir story. Have you seen the other one? On Netflix? It's a documentary about Bob Weir of The Grateful Dead. So I watched that today. It's good? Yeah, it's great. Even if you don't like The Grateful Dead,

he joined... What's like one thing you learned about him that you were fascinated by? He roomed with Neil Cassidy of... On the Road?

Of On the Road as well as the Kool-Aid acid test so he was like this freaked out guy from the beatnecks from the jazz era and then

Bob Weir was 17 years old when he uh when he joined the grateful dead and so he was uh roommates with neil cassidy and that's how he got weed so you were surprised that a guy from the grateful dead hung out with a dude who did a bunch of acid yeah i don't see yeah i don't get it it was a good one also did that documentary go on for like six hours with no point? Yeah. I didn't make it to the end of it, and I tried to. You really didn't? No, no.

I never watched the end. But the first man, the first 35 minutes is on fire. And I tried to do it again. But the first 35 minutes was still really good. It held up. That DVD comes with a white girl with dreads with no shoes. Dancing in the mud.

Totally. What about you, Dave? Have you been to the movies? I watched at home that movie where Denzel Washington flies this plane. And it crashes. And he flies the fuck out of this plane. Are you having trouble coming up with the name of this movie?

It's called Crash, right? No. No way. Does he crash the fuck out of it or does he fly the fuck out of it? Because it's called Flight. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what threw me, though.

But then he ends up clipping like a steeple and he flew the plane. There is a bit of a crash, yes. Better than anyone that's ever... He lands it on a field yeah and then

and then he but then they find out he was I like the scene where he and Don Cheadle is like is a lawyer and the two of them are standing on a thing looking at the crash site but they're having a conversation they would have definitely had in the car

on the way there you know what I mean like they waited till they get there and they're looking at it to then really discuss his situation which he would have been like all over it in the car ride I think You know what I mean? Like, they waited until they get there, and they're looking at it to then really discuss his situation, which he would have been, like, all over it in the car ride, I think. But, you know, that's movies.

What are you going to do? Yeah, they were just listening to jams in the car. Yeah. There's a scene in that movie where Denzel drinks a whole minibar. Like, he drinks the whole minibar in the hotel room. And then in the morning, they need him to perform, so they're like, like we got to get him coke and then they give him coke so he can wake up and i did all of that exact same thing one time like i had i drank an entire mini bar and then someone had to bring me coke you were inspired by the movie to do that no i was when i saw it in the movie i was suspicious of who wrote it. This is my story. This is my story.

Without all the plane stuff. Did you have an extra $5,000 to drink a whole mini bar? Did you also eat the nuts? It was $464. Wow. Jesus. Yeah. So, fuck you guys.

Wow. I don't know. That's a power move. I mean, it's troubling. And we're all, you seem great now. We're all happy. Well, now I have a higher power move. So that's a joke nobody wants to hear.

Chris, what about you? I saw Jurassic World. I was trying to bootleg entourage but that movie's so bad it's not even on torrents like it flat out is not on the internet uh but i watched i saw jurassic world it was that's all right i'm not jeff tate it was all right like the the deaths and shit are cool but the rest of it doesn't make any sense big body count but then like i don't understand why they make a point of, like, we hired Chris Pratt to train these Raptors because he was in the Navy. This is what he does.

Look over here. And then after one session where it takes him a while to get all the Raptors to all look in the right direction, and then he walks away like he accomplished something, like he got them all to look at him then everyone stands around going all right and that military guy he immediately starts pushing for we got to take these things out into the field and uh see how that goes and it's like he could barely get them in a pen to pay attention no they were wrapped with attention by the. By the way, I also just want to watch the movie where fucking raptors go to war. I would much rather watch the Hurt Locker with raptors

than whatever this was. Like they're all in a sweaty, tense... They're all in a bomber plane with their... Yeah. Biloxi blues. Their parachutes on, ready to just jump out. That is the funniest war movie to put them in because nothing really happens in that movie.

It's so quiet and like so a raptor just like focused on a bomb wire. With those little hands they gotta try to. Who chose her locker to do with raptors? And then a poor raptor wandering around in a grocery store with just feeling bad but wants to go back in.

A little baby raptor at home, like, where's dad raptor? Now, are you ready, Julian? Have you thought of what you saw? Well, yeah, but it was Mad Max. But I felt like that movie got crazy hyped, and I went and I was like, all right. You know what I mean? Yeah.

I don't know if I missed an overarching thing that made the whole thing deep or something. You mean awesomeness? Yeah. Well, it's awesome action, but it never stops. I don't care about any of the characters or what happens to them. I didn't think the action was that. I remember face-off. I was like, whoa.

You have to go that far back? And also, you should probably watch it again. Yeah, I probably should. I think a lot of that had to do with I was 12. And I was like, oh, man, that car is going so fast. I think some other woo holds up a little better. Yeah. Hard-boiled or what?

No, I love Tom Hardy. But he's got the most beautiful face and then all his movies he's like covering. Where's my face? I want to show everybody I'm a movie star. Look at these lips. It's weird. I don't know. Mad Max is definitely not the lead

character in that movie. It's the guy with the guitar. It's the guy none of us can name. I fucking loved Mad Max. I would watch it like a hundred times. I love the raid and I don't know any of those characters names. I don't give a shit about.

The raid is so much more kick ass than fucking Arrow Road. I should have said the raid instead of face off. The whole movie is like whoa. Did you see the sequel to the raid instead of face off. The whole movie is like, whoa. Did you see the sequel to the raid? Yes. And I like that too, but it had the thing that the raid didn't have, which is long, boring scenes

in between the action. So I can't argue the point that an action movie can be fun without... Also, the characters aren't that great in John Wick and I love that sure john wick is awesome but there's something about fury road that i just i gotta watch it again and i'll get back to you but uh because i love george miller and uh the earlier films and

stuff uh but we got to get to the game portion of the show let the games begin so folks uh fashion some name tags Hopefully there's three or more of them So that you guys will have some sort of options And just go Get up and go pick the name tag You'd like to play for tonight And bring it back to your seat

The first part would be standing up Just stand up you guys There you go Yeah, and knock shit down when you do it It's really hard to do. Hey, everybody. There's no sponsor on this episode. I just wanted to take a moment while name tags are being chosen to remind you that you can preorder my latest movie, Chronicon, episode 420, a new dope, on iTunes now.

It's coming out on July 3rd, just in time for Chronicon. And if you enjoy all of my other stuff, I think you'll like this too. Thank you for listening to Doug Loves Movies and supporting all of my projects. Back to the show! Okay, who are you playing for, Julian? I'm playing for, I'm assuming, Sam. It says Sam Loves Movies. And it's, what is this art form called?

Purling? Is it Perler art? Purling? Perler? Perler? I think so. Why do you know that, Doug? Because somebody has made one of those of my face before,

and I said, what is this? And they told me, and then I remembered it. Oh, all right. But still didn't, what's that? It was you too? Same guy. It's the Perler guy. It's Ron Perlman. This guy's... This guy's riding the Perlman.

He's not as much of an anarchist as the Sons of Anarchy would make you think. He makes cute little... It's Iron Man and Batman and two Scott Pilgrim characters. I'm going to say that's Chun-Li. I'm kidding. R2-D2.

I really wanted to piss off Satan. And the guy from Wreck-It Ralph, Fix-It Fred. Yeah, and it's really adorable, and he did a great job. Felix. I was happy I came up with Fix-It Fred. I was like, that was good. I can't believe I knew that. All right, what about you, Rob, who do you plan for?

I have possibly the most low-budget poster here. It's interesting. It looks like material you couldn't even write on if you wanted to, but he figured out a way to get his words on there. It almost looks laminated, but he wrote on top of the lamination, so it's not physically laminated, but it's on the back of a – this is for cleaning your car, and you put your foot mat. Oh, it's a foot mat, yeah.

Yeah, it's a foot mat. And then he uses a really interesting font here. I think this is kind of strung out on Ritalin. If there's any way you can describe this longer, I'd really appreciate it. Take as much time with this shitty name tag as you can. His name is Warren, and he loves movies. Dave, who are you playing for? Andy Man.

His name's Andy but he took the movie Candy Man and he drew the C and then crossed it out. And don't read the thing on the back, Dave. Stop saying Andy Man, he'll show up. And don't read the thing that you're looking at on the back. Don't. Yeah, that's for at the end if you lose today.

And Chris, who are you playing for? I'm playing for, I believe, Earl. It says me, Earl, and that dying girl, so I'm assuming... Yeah, I hope a dying girl didn't just give you that name tag. I don't know what... One of the guys is like, it's me. You're playing for me. But your name's Earl?

Me. Your name's me? Really? That's weird. Yeah. Did you see the film Me and Earl and the Dying Girl? The guy that made this name tag? Wake up and answer the fucking question. You can't nod for that there, man.

Two stars out of four? Out of five. Jesus. Not a good rating. Fuck that dead bitch. Yeah, spoiler, Chris. Well, I just assumed. It's not me and the cure for that dying girl or whatever.

I never saw John Dyes at the end, does he? Don't tell me. All right, so to determine who's going to go first in today's game, we are going to... He's not physically here, but he phoned it in for us. We're going to do some lines with Mark. As soon as you recognize this movie, say it into your microphone. And the first person who says it right wins.

Say our name first? Yeah. No. Okay, just say it. Just say it. You guys want to do some lines? Here we go. A gun rack?

A gun rack. I don't even own a gun, let alone many guns. Tommy Boy. I'm going to resuscitate, and I'm going to know a gun, let alone many guns. Tommy Boy. I'm going to resuscitate, and I'm going to react. Oh, Wayne's World. Wayne's World. Julian's right. It's Wayne's World.

I knew it was a buddy comedy. So that means in this game of the Leonard Maltin game, we're going to play to two points, and we'll start. Julian will get to pick the first category, and then we'll just go to Rob and Dave and Chris down the line like that. That went so quickly I didn't have a chance to get my phone out. Fire up my Leonard Moulton app. Leonard Moulton says hi, everybody. He's going to come back and visit sometime soon.

Because he's terrible at this game. Does he go by Leonard when you are hanging out? Oh, yeah, yeah. I've even said to him can I call you Len and he goes nope and then I call him Len when he's not around

so let's play some Len Moulton you guys Julia gets to pick the first category and he gets to choose between Liar Liar that's films that have Bill O'Reilly in them

Job at the Hut that's movies that have Bill O'Reilly in them. Job at the Hut. That's movies that have a pizza delivery person in them. And Awesome Texas is my favorite, Doug Benson's favorite movies that take place in Texas. Which one of those would you like to play, Julian?

I want to do Job at the Hut. This movie's got pizza delivery in it in some capacity one and a half stars from leonard out of four not that fancy five scale that me that me's got working over there 1989 is the year he calls this movie paper thin uh also curiously anachronistic. Yeah, and a major disappointment from the otherwise dependable, and then he names the director, and he lists 13 names. How many names can you get it in?

Julian? 11. That's a good opening bid. Rob? I can name it in 10. I don't know. I think he might be able to. Dave, can you bid lower, or do you want to ask Rob to name that movie?

I'm going to go 7. Whoa! That's a leap, especially right in front of Chris Cubis, one of our better players. Yeah, name that movie, man. Nothing. Do you already have an idea, maybe? Not at all. Here's your seven names reading from the bottom.

Maybe something will jog an idea. They are Carrie Fisher, Kirstie Alley, Kim Miore, Vic Tabak, Robert Camaletti. Yeah, Tabak is in it. Ray Giardin and Bernie Coulson.

Yeah, I don't know how helpful that was, but if you could think of any movie from around 1989 that had pizza delivery in it. By a dependable director. According to Len. Erd. Any guesses, Dave?

I was just going to guess Mystic Pizza, but that's not it. That's not a terrible guess. I didn't know Vic Tabak did movies. I thought he was just... Well, as it turns out, it was a movie that he was in,

Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, that got turned into a TV series, and he plays the same part in both. And there's only like a couple people in both, right? Yes. When they went to make the Alice TV series, Jodie Foster was like, I'm kind of busy being huge.

I was in taxi driver. I really wish Jodie Foster sounded like that. Well, she did in Elysium. She had that weird accent. Any guess, Dave? That was the guess. Oh, yeah, yeah, right. Mr. Pizza.

Incorrect. The movie is called Loverboy, starring Patrick Dempsey. McDreamy used to be a pizza delivery guy who boned a lot of ladies. Who directed that? Joan Micklin Silver. Yeah, so she had made a couple other movies. Wait, a pizza delivery guy that bones a lot of ladies? Yeah, name a pizza guy in the 80s that didn't bone a lot of ladies.

Taylor Negron in Fast Times at Richmond. That's why this is your podcast Now run this bitch Alright so Who I challenged him Yeah so we're gonna basically Start with Rob and then go to Julian for this next round

And then over to Chris and then Dave Good luck everybody Oh and of course Chris has one point. Yes. I think that was me wooing. Not me, but me. That's a stupid name. He really tricked us with that name today.

My name's me. Would you like Rob Cantrell? Okay. Randy Quaid? That's films where Dennis Quaid has sex? Our Ex Machina? That's a movie where a robot dies? Which was brought up the other day

on the Tournament of Championships episode that, you know, who knows when a robot really dies yeah you know so it's a depiction of what is supposed to be the death of a robot yeah so i don't want to get into arguments about whether or not that robot actually die because they bring them back they fix them after they die in some of these movies and at henatol The Walking Dad, and that's movies where Christopher Walken is a dad. So Deer Hunter's out. Yeah.

So is Annie Hall. Okay, which one of those do you like? Let's go with the first one. Dennis Quaid has sex? Yeah, Randy Quaid. Okay. Dennis Quaid, though, is the one that's having the sex. Okay.

I mean, Randy Quaid could be having sex as well, but he's probably in a motel somewhere with police outside the door. It's very low budget. Three stars from Leonard for this movie from 1987, in which Dennis Quaid, I'm pretty sure, has some sex. He calls it highly original. He also says that later it became a cable TV series. And I'll give you one more clue. It's sassy and sexy. Yeah.

What year? Sorry. The year is 87. And he lists 12 names. How many names can you get it in, Rob Cantrell? Oh, I can name it in 10 names? And I should mention you brought a copy of your rap CD, Dreams Never Die, for the prize bag as well. Oh, thank you, thank you.

You're welcome. Yeah. It's a rap CD. Yeah. It's hot, I've heard it. Yeah. It's a rap CD. Yeah. It's hot. I've heard it. Yeah. Scorching.

Scorching. Streets. Do you have a bid? I said ten. Oh, I'm sorry. Ten names. Ten names. Julian.

I'll go nine. Okay. Chris? Yeah, let's have some fun. I'll go eight. That is fun. That is really fun. You feel that? People can't believe

how fun that was. Dave? I'd say name that movie. Oh! Suddenly not so fun, is it? Nope, it's kind of terrible. Well, you're in good shape. You've already got a point. So your

eight names are Jim Garrison, Solomon Burke, Mark Lawrence, Grace Zabriskie, Tom O'Brien, Charles Ludlam, Lisa Jane Persky, and Ebby Roe Smith. E-B-B-E, Roe Smith. That's your eight out of 12. Solomon Burke is a musician. I'm going to say... Great Balls of Fire. Oh!

Is it Fabulous Baker Boys? No. Okay, I didn't know. Is he even in that? I don't know. It's neither of those. No, that was the Bridges Brothers. Ah, it was a...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't tell those. I liked your first guest though. It was a little bit more in the ballpark because this movie also starred

Dennis Quaid's top build and Ellen Barkin, Ned Beatty and John Goodman and it's called The Big Easy. The Big Easy.

And Dave is on the board with a point everybody. Although a great Balls of Fire TV show would have been fun. Oh yeah, that's an interesting... We forgot about that clue, I guess. A different cousin every week.

I'd like to see it. You can vote out a different cousin every week until finallyicking one cousin To really make it Legit with Okay so Who challenged Who there

Dave challenged Yeah So that means We're going to start With Julian And then go to Rob And Julian gets To pick between

Jurassic World Which of course Is movies That had a senior citizen in them who went on to win a Golden Globe for their performance. Jurassic World. Hammering old people.

Michael Harrod suggested on Twitter Ghostbusters. This is a fun one if you like things that are quite morbid. Ghostbusters is movies where Patrick Swayze is arrested. Yeah, I thought it would make somebody sad. And Secret Gaijin suggested Matthew McConaughey.

Matthew McConaughey. And that's Matthew McConaughey movies that made over $100 million at the domestic box office. Which one of those do you like? I like Ghostbusters. Patrick Swayze gets arrested. Yes. Supposedly, I've been told, in one of these movies from 1991 or 2001, which year would you like?

1991 or 2001? which year would you like? 1991 or 2001? 1991. Okay. Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie where Patrick Swayze gets arrested. 1991, as you asked for,

is the year. He says about this movie that it's assured and that it has a mind-numbing plot line and uh i think that's all i'm gonna say and he lists uh 11 names how many names can you get it in uh he gets arrested in it

i guess so do you know if they tased the Swayze no tasy for Swayze you can't tasy the Swayze were they tasing people in 91 I don't know just him because it sounded so good

I would say you said 11 names yeah I would say man I don't those clues are not helpful. Well, 1991, two and a half stars, assured. I'll say I can do it in nine. I think somebody in this room knows the answer. I'll do it in nine.

I can do it in nine. He says nine names, Rob. I can name it in eight. Dave? Three. Three. Ooh! And you already have a point. You already have a point.

Oh, yeah, so that's... Shit. That's tricky. I know what I would do for you. I'd rather go out swinging. Yeah, that's what I thought. Negative one name. Oh!

He says negative one, Julian. Have you played this game enough to know what negative names means? No. It means that he's now saying, he's just gone past needing names, now he's going to give me a name. So he's going to name the movie and the top billed person in it, unless you want to bid. So it's like a good bluff. You can bid negative two, in which you'd have to name the movie and the top two billed people in the correct order

according to Leonard Maltin. But I said I needed nine to get it. You did say that earlier, but sometimes that's just a strategic play, you know? Oh, right, right, right. Like you kind of have an idea. Yes, I've been using strategy all night. This sucks because

I don't believe... I'm almost certainly wrong. Why would I believe anything you say? You should not believe anything I say, but I mean that 100%. You're from Texas. Does that mean anything? That means I love me some Swayze's with that movie.

It's where the double deuce is. I mean, the movie we're all thinking of was after 1998. Yeah, it's obviously not that. Also, I don't think he was arrested what that means. It's where the double deuce is. I mean, the movie we're all thinking of was after 1998. Yeah, it's obviously not that. Also, I don't think he was arrested in that movie. How could he not be arrested in that movie? I call your bluff. I don't think you know it. Yeah, because I probably don't. Patrick Swayze.

It's a toss-up between one of two. And I'm going to go with next of kin. It's Black Dog. It's neither of those. Point break. When is he arrested?

He gets arrested. Mind numbing. He gets out, obviously. When does he get caught? They take him all in at one point. When does he get caught in that movie? At the end. Don't give At the end. He does not get caught in the end.

Don't give away the end. There's a new point break coming out. Yeah, I don't know what will happen at the end of that one. I'm going to fucking snowboard on an avalanche or some bullshit. I don't know. Have I been using mind-numbing wrong my whole life? Because that movie's awesome. Well, he says other things about it.

And I just pick things out of the review that are unhelpful because then that makes the game interesting. So he's like, I love this movie. It's amazing. It's mind-numbing. Yeah, but he also, my favorite line in the review is he says that Swayze, about his hair, that he needs to perhaps find a new stylist. Which is an interesting thing to say about a man who just has wild hair

and does wild things and a lot of the time has a Ronald Reagan mask on how good's his hair going to look when he whips that thing off

after that long foot chase that they go through I'm really just mad because I cannot remember him being arrested in that movie yeah that's why

I kept saying repeated that I've been told that he gets arrested because I don't really remember it either but I think it makes sense that they take him in at one point because throughout saying repeatedly that I've been told that he gets arrested because I don't really remember it either, but I think it makes sense that they take him in at one point.

Because throughout the entire movie, he's obviously the one who's doing everything. I know when he's arrested. On the beach at the end, Keanu Reeves reveals that he's the guy. He says you're under arrest and then lets him go. And then he goes out into the ocean. But I think they bring him into the station at one point, too. I don't know. Who gives a shit? It doesn't matter.

He got a point. It's fine. This conversation is fine. The game is still going. We got an exciting game going, you guys. And now we're going to start with Dave and go to Rob. And Dave gets to pick a category. He should have been arrested for killing that baby in Dirty Dancing.

Jesus. Wait, what? I'm from Texas. For a second, I thought you were saying he killed the character Baby. Like there's a scene I didn't know about. There's a director's cut against real dark. He just puts a pillow over Jennifer Grey's face. And he's like, you should fix that nose of yours.

She did eventually. Great job. Great job that plastic surgeon took an interesting looking woman and turned her into, like she's got a socket on her face. Turned her into a basic... I always like that term, I'm Swayze. I mean, I'm gone. I always thought that was...

You ever heard that? That's what you say when you're leaving, I'm Swayze? Yeah, straight Swayze. You mean that phrase you just made up right now? Because he leaves a lot or because he's dead? It means that you're gone,

that I'm out of here, I'm Swayze. Which is slang, means you're ghost, means you? It means that you're gone. I'm out of here. I'm Swayze. Which is slang. It means you're ghost. It means you're gone. I was just saying, I was trying to make it a positive. Couldn't you say that for any dead person though? Yeah, now he's dead so it's kind of really sad.

So it's like, oh, you're dead? Yeah, I'm Fonda. See, that's classy. I went more old school with it. All right, Dave gets to pick a category, and then we go to Rob. And Bamopolis on Twitter suggested Ford Pinto, and that's Harrison Ford bombs, like Harrison Ford movies that Leonard gave the bomb distinction to. And there's only one of those in existence.

He only had one bomb, according to Leonard. D. Jack Lee suggested a streetcar named Retire. I'm really hammering the old people. And that's someone's last movie. Like the last movie that an actor did. And then

Loki underscore hates underscore you suggested Age of Old Tron. And that's movies from the year that Tron came out, the original Tron, which is 1982. Which one of those would you like to play, Dave? The Harrison Ford-based one. Okay. Leonard Maltin gave this movie a bomb designation, even though Harrison Ford is in it.

1978 is the year. He calls this movie a bomb designation, even though Harrison Ford is in it. 1978 is the year. He calls this movie an awful sequel. He also says that it's based on a novel. Yeah, that's confusing as hell. And the cast is a mixed group. I'll say that much about it. And he lists seven names. How many names can you get it in?

Dave Hill. Four. Rob? I can get it in three. Julian. No, you can't. Are you saying Rob Ketchell named that movie? I am saying Rob Ketchell named that movie. Julian. No, you can't. Ooh. Are you saying Rob Ketchell, name that movie?

I am saying Rob Ketchell, name that movie. If you name this, Rob, it's going to be a four-way tie. Name that bomb. If you fail, Julian's going to be our winner. It's 1977? 78. Yes! Oh. Oh.

Was it a financial bomb or was it a critical bomb? Leonard Maltin called it a bomb. He doesn't drag in. I mean, sometimes I guess in a review, if it's late enough, he can say how it did at the box office. But generally, his reviews come out before the movie's made or not made money. But your three names. Okay. Yeah, you get three names.

Do you want to hear the three names? Sure, sure, sure. Why not, right? Yeah. They are Richard Kiel, Carl Weathers, and Barbara Bach. 78, you said?

Yeah. All right. There's no way you're going to get this. I think it is Empire Strikes Back. Is that a bomb? Based on the novel. Lando Calrissian was not Carl Weathers, sir. Are you sure about that?

You racist. Positive. I thought that guy was in Rocky. This was a tough one, Rob, because it's the only bomb that he made, so obviously he probably didn't get much attention. It didn't do very well, I don't think. And it's a war movie that starred Robert Shaw and second billed as Harrison Ford coming off of Star Wars, I think. So, you know, he had to play second billed in another movie before anybody thought he was a real movie star. And it's called Force 10 from Navarone.

Yeah, the sequel to Guns of Navarone. I've never heard any of those words in my life. I mean, it's a really catchy title, Force 10 from Navarone. And it's just about a group of 10 dudes. They're not quite a dirty dozen. They're just ten. Yeah, after a mixed group, Leonard put in parentheses, naturally. Because they've got to be a mixed group.

But that means that Julian's our winner. Congratulations, Julian. Job well done. Damn. And I'm going to erase that category. Thank you, Bemopolis, for suggesting that. And let's pass your name tags down so we can do the shitheads. And the winner, come on down.

No, you get to give him back his name tag. The Perler dude gets everything in the prize bag. Congratulations, man. Enjoy that croissant. Is there a shithead on this thing? There is not. No shithead for that guy. Thanks for playing, Ed.

Or what was his name? Warren. Thanks, Warren. Why didn't you put a shithead on the bag? I forgot. You forgot? Alright, whisper one to me. Whisper one to me. From your... Oh, good one.

All right. What? That's weird. Okay, I want to look at yours now. Yeah, you should. That's weird. All right, so... Julian, any plugs?

Oh, yeah. I have a TV show coming out in September on all of our favorite channels. E! The Entertainment Channel. You said it like it's got an exclamation point. It does. It's the last channel before the Internet.

You said it like it's got an exclamation point. It does. It's the last channel before the internet. If you go higher, it's the internet. What's the show called? We're still working on the title right now. That's an interesting title for a show. I hope it works out.

I know. We're still working on a title. That'd be cool. Yeah, TBD. And that's in September. That's in September. On 8. Well, you'll probably be back on a title. That'd be cool. TBD. And that's in September. That's in September. You'll probably be back on before then. We'll plug it again. And maybe I'll have a title. Go to work on that.

Rob, what do you got coming up? You're in San Francisco tomorrow night at the Punchline. I am. That's going to be fun. And then Alaska. I'm doing in October. So if you're in Anchorage, Alaska, I'm coming your way. In October? No, in October.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's going to be a little cold. That's what you said, and then I asked you, like, in October? And you said, no, in October. You're correct. Okay. And robcantrell.com or something like that? Yeah, robcantrell.com for dates. And check out my CD, Dreams Never Die. Okay. And robcantrell.com or something like that? Yeah, robcantrell.com for dates and check out my CD, Dreams Never Die.

Yeah. Dave Hill, what do you got going on, man? I got my new album, Let Me Turn You On. The monkey balloon party? Yeah. That was probably the working title. That was until a couple weeks ago. And then I'll be in Philly, D.C. and Boston with Janine Garofalo in July.

Awesome. Chris Cubis. I'm in Tulsa this weekend at the Blue Well Comedy Festival with Nick Thune and a bunch of people. I'm headlining Cap City Comedy Club in Austin the week of July 1st. And check out my podcast, Cancelled, on iTunes. We watch TV shows that only made it a season. And check out my podcast, Canceled, on iTunes. We watch TV shows that only made it a season.

Or maybe one episode, as in the case of South of Sunset, starring Glenn Frey from the Eagles as a detective that was made in 1992. What? The one? The he is on It's Something Else. I want to see that. Douglas Movies returns to Meltdown Comics over there in Hollywood on Sunday, June 28th.

Three great... Oh, my God. Stuff's dripping out of my nose while I talk. Apologies to whoever has to use this microphone. Disgusting. Three great guests are already booked until they hear that I've come down with something, then they'll probably all cancel. But thank you to all my

guests tonight and the audience and UCB. And as always, we got two Jeb Bushes as a shithead. So, parallel thinking on that, fellas. And then this one, this guy is probably

all on his own. Andy man. Because the shithead is that little shit from the beginning of Jurassic Park. You mean the first one? The little shit from the beginning of the first Jurassic Park.

He's a shithead. Fuck. he's a shithead