Doug Loves Movies - Kevin Pollak and Jerry O'Connell Guest

Episode Date: March 6, 2009

Doug talks movies with actual movie actors Kevin Pollak ('The Usual Suspects,' 'A Few Good Men') and Jerry O'Connell ('Stand By Me,' 'Jerry Maguire').See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth They're still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody Welcome to another episode of I Love Movies. I'm Doug Benson. We're at the UCB Theater with a live audience. Let's hear it for you guys.

In here, waiting for the comedy Death Race show to start, which is always on Tuesdays at the UCB in Los Angeles. You can go to UCBtheater.com Theater spelled Fancy R-E Come see shows here

A lot of great stuff here I do the Benson Interruption Show here And I do I Love Movies here Before Death Ray Said that already Let's get my notes out

So we don't just Sit here babbling Let's see One more thing I gotta do Before bringing a guest out. This is somebody reached out to me somewhere, either on MySpace or Twitter or somewhere,

and said, could you in your next podcast make an outgoing answering machine message for me and my girlfriend? He's just like, just say it into the microphone during the podcast, and then we'll take that part and make it our outgoing message. And I was like, you know what?

If you have the balls to ask for that, I'm going to give it to you. So I jotted something down, and I'm going to say it now for their answering machine. Hey, regular Steve. Yeah, regular Steve. Hilarious. All right.

And Angie, what? She Hilarious. All right. And Angie, what? She's not regular? All right. Let me start over. Hey, regular Steve and Angie couldn't get to the phone because they've got things to do. So leave a message, you a-hole. And don't forget to have the best day ever with Paul F. Tompkins. And they can use the laugh or not.

That's entirely up to them. All right, let's bring out our guests for... My guests, they're your guests too. These guys, this is a first on I Love Movies maybe. A lot of the comedians that I've had on are also actors and one of the actorsians that I've had on are also actors. And one of the actors that's about to come now is also a comedian. But they're both funny guys, and there's two actors at the same time.

I'm so excited that I've met these two recently and get to have them on the show. You may have seen this first gentleman with me in a spot on VH1 for the Pepsi Smash Super Bowl bash that ran incessantly. If you're a Rock of Bus fan, Rock of Bus, Rock of Love Bus fan, you saw this spot over and over again. And in the spot where we're holding fake babies, but it's supposed to be the twins that he just had with Rebecca Romaine O'Connell. Please welcome Jerry O'Connell, everybody. Jerry O'Connell is here. Can you believe it? Have a seat, buddy. Talk right into this thing. Thank you. And you can, you know, take it out if you like. I actually think I'm supposed to sit over here.

You could sit over there. That'd be good. It'd be hard for the other guy to get through if you don't sit there, but just talk into that. Okay. Nice to see you. Good to see you. Let's get this other fellow out here. Oh my god, this guy, the movies he's been in, right? Casino,

A Few Good Men, The Whole Nine Yards. Yeah. Yeah, right? I'm correct on all of those? I'm a big fan. You met him backstage. Kevin Pollack is here, everybody. Kevin Pollack.

Who also does the impressions and comedy and stuff. Come on in. That's nice, the way Jerry stands up and shakes hands with him. You sat further into your seat. Jerry's a very polite fellow. I was trying to stay on my microphone, but now we're loosening up. We're getting going. Oh, are we standing're loosening up. We're getting going. Are we standing?

So who's your... Kevin does a lot of impressions. He's known for them. Why don't we get right to that? So who's your... We've got to get right to something. What am I going to get right to? You or the fat kid in Stand By Me? So...

That was me. Let's get right to And the whole nine yards Definitely more of a default Than usual suspects Not for nothing Yeah you're right Usual suspects

Was a little bit better No no whatever I wanted to be a dick And say the sequel To the whole nine yards But I couldn't think Of what it was called Another nine yards

Nice nice A new ball of yarn What was it called The whole 10 yards? Not enough yards. I think that's what it was called. It was called the yards. But I just wanted to ask you quickly.

I don't want to dwell on the impression thing. But if you had an impression that was like the most obscure one that you do, because this is a hip crowd. And also it'd be fun to listen on a podcast to a really you know a good obscure impression where like the face isn't really important well the face should never be important when you do the same face as the person quite often you're good at that why would you say that oh shit his eyes went all googly everybody listening to the podcast so yeah just something that would sound good to the listener and they don't need to see the funny eyeballs.

That hurt my eyes. Well, to this crowd, it may be a little obscure unless I say Nemo, Nemo. That's good. It's Albert Brooks, everybody. How are you? Listen, I'm going to go lie down. I'm cranky

Did you see when he was on Weeds? He was great on Weeds He's so great He's one of my idols Yeah he is awesome But that's That's a good one Considering the average age is what?

19? It's a youngish crowd And I am so happy Me too Now I figured out something The two of you have in common uh it's probably not that hard to figure out oh first of all let's start with this even better i haven't had a chance to do this with anybody because it would probably be five or six degrees but how many degrees are each of you from kevin bacon i don't know first of all i want to go on a record saying i don't

know why that wuss needs six degrees. I'm just saying most people like, well, yeah, I only need two or three degrees, but I'm just saying you don't want to put people on the spot if there are several many degrees because they probably won't even be able to figure it out. No, I mean I'm like two degrees away from anybody. You're two degrees too, yeah. No, I'm one degree from him. Oh, you're saying no one should need six. I'm saying why does he need six to get to anybody?

The point of the six degrees of separation was that anybody could be six degrees from Kevin Bacon. Right. But you're zero degrees from him. I am basically, yeah. Because you're in a few good men with him. He's in my pocket right now. And so how many degrees do you think you are, Jerry, from him? Zero also.

Well, I don't know him personally, but he grew up in the area in New York that my parents live in, so when I go home, I once saw him in a supermarket. That's less than zero degrees, I think. That's nine degrees, technically. No, but you could figure out who have you worked with in a film

that was also in a film with him. That would make you one degree if you had anyone in common. To be honest, I gave him the celebrity nod in the Gristidis in New York, which is, you know, I'm a celebrity and so is he. He's a big celebrity. He has a game named after him. Yeah, his real last name is parcheese but um we were uh i would love me a bacon and parcheese sandwich right now oh that sounds fantastic i gave him the uh i think i may

have even said like hey what's up and um and he was like oh hey. And that was it. Oh, hey? So you think there was a little recognition there? Or do you think he's just being nice? No, I think he... You're one degrees away, Rob Reiner. I think... Yeah, there you go. The game works in terms of who...

No, I know what the game is, but when did Kevin Bacon work for Rob Reiner? It has nothing to do with Supermarket. Oh, with A Few Good Men, right? Right. Oh, so you could do it with directors? Or was Rob Reiner? It has nothing to do with Supermarket. Oh, with A Few Good Men, right? Right, right, right. Right. Oh, so you could do it with directors? Or was Rob Reiner in Stand By Me?

He directed. He directed. Yeah, okay. So I guess you could do directors. I worked with Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire, and Tom Cruise was in A Few Good Men. Pow. See, it's that easy. So it's one degree. But I know him, so that's how we're one degree.

I know Kevin. Yeah, he's one degree. From Gristides. But you're zero degrees. On 15th and 7th. And we know each other from Togo's. No.

Oh, the one over in the Yeah. Toluca Lake? Uh-huh. Nope. So, yeah, that's true. You were both in

Rob Reiner movies. That was my next question that I almost asked first on accident. And two of his best movies, I'd even say. I think he batted 1,000 his first seven films. I'm going to go out on a limb and say. Seven? Princess Bride. Okay.

All right. I want to hear seven fucking great movie titles right now. Well, first of all. Because I agree with three or four of them. Spinal Tap? His best movie. I can't even find the ball. It's with three or four of them. Spinal Tap? Can't even find the ball. It's so far out of the park. Set the bar too high for life. Like the rest of his life

he's like, God damn, that bar's up there. I gotta get at that bar somehow. I know how I'll do it. A Bruce Willis, Michelle Pfeiffer comedy drama. No, that's not gonna do it. That is not gonna do it. A Bruce Willis, Michelle Pfeiffer comedy drama. No, that's not going to do it. That is not going to do it. That movie about Luke Wilson and what's her name? Trying to write a book?

That's not going to do it. Bring it back, though. What was her name? We're talking the first seven movies. Okay. All right. So you've got Stand By Me in the first seven. Yeah.

That was number two. Amazing. He's not wrong. He's not wrong. He's not wrong. So good. Made me personal friends with Kevin Bacon. Do you ever worry, though, that the Stand By Me curse is just taking a long time to really kick in hard?

That, like, all four of you are destined to die before your time, and one of them just really beat everybody to it? And by die, I mean fail. Corey Feldman is what I'm talking about. before your time and one of them just really beat everybody to it. Wow. And by die, I mean fail. Corey Feldman is what I'm talking about.

He's very successful. He has a television reality show now. I love you. What's Will Wheaton up to? I saw him on an episode of CSI Miami.

Is it wrong of me to Twitter right now while you guys are talking? No, go ahead I would love a good live tweet In the middle of my show Why aren't you on Twitter Jerry I don't know

I think you would love it You're such a You know you're curious about people You're friendly A lot of people use it in supermarkets Well Yeah I know I just

I'm sort of unemployed I'm unemployed now. I don't really have anything special to say, so I'm... That's exactly why you want to tweet. I want to wait until I have a little more going on. You're raising twin babies. That is plenty to talk about there. You could be like, oh, my God, that Sewellman woman, how does she do it?

I heard on the radio today, oh, this is, we're taping this on Tuesday, March 3rd, by the way. today. Oh, this is, we're taping this on Tuesday, March 3rd, by the way. But I heard on the radio today something about how the original six babies are jealous of the eight new ones. Oh, fuck. So depressing.

I hope they beat the crap out of those other eight babies. Baby fight. All night baby fight. Sixteen babies go in A lot of crib death A lot of crib death In a baby fight This is really not that interesting

But I watched Ellen today And Judge Judy was her number one guest You are correct Judge Judy really does not like the Octomom. She went off on her for a good ten minutes. Way to kill that segment. I know, but I mean...

Some people, yeah. I'm so proud of you, Judy. Um... So... Sorry, Doug. Sorry for what? You're doing great buddy Oh thank you I remember being a kid

And being sick And you'd watch like Some afternoon movies show Or something And again this is 100 years ago But so kids sick today Watch Ellen? Wow

Kids who are sick? You were home with a cold Sick I don't mean I don't mean all wrinkled up and whatnot. Well, yeah. I mean, I think after school specials are no longer a part of it. Mom, wheel me over to Ellen, will you?

Sure, Tommy. It's a happy show. She dances. Last night was the season finale of the most recent Bachelor. We were backstage talking about how your brother Charlie was the Bachelor one season. Yes, he was. Okay, that's enough said about that. And both of you guys have played a lot of poker.

Let's talk about you kicking some ass, buddy. Well, I tried. I didn't do that great. Both of you guys have played a lot of poker. Let's talk about you kicking some ass, buddy. You were at the... Well, I tried. I didn't do that great. On the WPT celebrity... Invitational, yes. Invitational. Cheadle was there.

I think I caught him cheadling. So stupid. Yeah, it was a good time. It was just a bunch of professional poker players. So I watched a lot of poker on TV, so it was exciting to see all them play with you. I didn't know you were a player. I mean, I hate tournaments so much that I just literally chose not to go as much as I would have enjoyed. But you would have had so much fun because that was what was fun to me about it.

I was able to fold a lot of hands and stay in for a long time and not play, you know, irrationally. Because when you get bored, that's when you, like, make stupid choices. You went from 10,000 up to 110,000. Yeah, yeah. You were kicking some poker ass. I was kicking ass, but because I was playing a hand,

and then, like, the next hand, I'd get, like, you know, nine jack, and I'd just toss it in, and I'd run around and take pictures of people at Twitter about, oh, shit, Jose Canseco! Right. He's in the house.

Yeah. Oh, he's going to beat us all with his fucking steroids. You know, so it made it easier for me to be a disciplined player. Then the second day when we came back and it was narrowed down quite a bit. You went a little crazy. The field. Yeah. Then it was like.

Then you were splashing money around. Everyone was serious. And everyone was like, you know, I'm all in, you know, every hand. And it just got, because the blinds go up, and it gets scary, and people also had other things to do or whatever. And I did have something else to do. I had to go to the Larry the Cable Guy roast

for the Comedy Central taped Sunday night. It's not his real name, though. No, no, no. His real name is Dan the Cable Guy. Dan Whitney. I love the way Dan comes in with, I got another fact for everybody. Now, if you ran into

Dan Whitney in a grocery store, which one would it be? You had to pick one. I'm sure he prefers being called Dan than Larry the Cable Guy. People are calling him Dan left and right on the roast, and he didn't seem to mind it. He doesn't seem to mind to be outed as a complete lie. Well, I don't know if it's a lie as much as it is a character. Yeah.

He was sitting there being roasted. He's just watching the other comics. You've been to those things. He's like in a big throne and he's just watching the other comics and not being a character. Flavor Flav, he's a character. He's out of his mind.

Oh, Gary Busey was there this time. So that's reason alone to watch it, you guys. Even if you don't like Larry the Cable Guy, watch it because Gary Busey... I love how before you even finished the words out of his... My Gary Busey was there. It wasn't even a nanosecond between the last

thought. Yeah, Gary Busey was in the house. So-and-so was out of his... My Gary Busey! Yeah, because that's how he is. He's just like... He just snaps and says something crazy But he May I give an example Was on his best behavior

Please Yeah A good Gary Busey example My girlfriend Who's here Hello Yeah We were at the market

And What did we call it Trapped by Busey No When Busey attacks When Busey attacks Yeah Was it a Gristini's

Because it was No it was not It was So But he Ralphs Recognized And he was like attacks? When Busey attacks. Was it a Christides? No, it was not. But he recognized and he was like, you're a great man. And I just tell you that it was like 20 minutes of crazed energy which I summed up with this sentence. Cats!

Fine musical, but you don't want them on your roof. Yeah. He said that? I would boil the whole 20 minutes down to that one. He gets up at the roast, and he says all the jokes off the teleprompter like a pro. Like, doesn't stumble through it, doesn't add any of his own thoughts, and it's really good. He's really funny. Did he kill? He's crazy in other parts of it, and every other comic makes fun own thoughts, and it's really good. He's really funny. He's crazy in other parts of it, and every other comic

makes fun of him. Yeah, he did great. Maureen McCormick also had a great set. I mean, you know, good jokes. I think you mean Mary McCormick. Mary McCormick? No, not Maureen McCormick, who sang There's Got to Be a Morning

After, Poseidon Adventure, and it was The Nun in Airplane. No, Maureen McCormick, who sang There's Got to Be a Morning After, Poseidon Adventure, and it was The Nun in Airplane. No, Maureen McCormick, or, wait, which one did I just say? Maureen McCormick was Marsha from the Brady Bunch. No, let me just get the check. Oh, that's who it was. Okay. Kevin's going to take off early.

But then there was also that other McCormick who sang that song. All right, so, oh, no, that was Maureen McGovern. Maureen McGovern. So I don't know who Mary, I don't know who you were talking about. But you nailed it. So now it's time. It's already that time to play the Leonard Maltin game. Yeah, it goes by fast.

He's still trying to get the check. I thought I would be the only high one out here I didn't know there would be somebody who thought we were having dinner When there's no food And another guy would only talk about Stories that happen in grocery stores What's the game, Doug? The game's the Leonard Maltin game

How does it work? You guys both know already And so do the listeners Because they hear about it every week when I have to explain it. So this time you guys can just jump in. New listeners. Why would they? No, we're going to get a lot of new listeners.

A lot of fans of The Bachelor. I just tweeted that this will be available on iTunes. The theme, because Watchmen is opening on Friday And I'm very excited about it It's going to be the best movie of the year No matter how good it is The same way that Dark Knight was? Exactly like the way Dark Knight

It still won't be as good as Dark Knight So the superhero movies is the theme Each one of these is going to be a superhero movie I will tell you how many names are in the cast, and then someone has to start off and say how many names they could name it in, and we go from the bottom up. So don't cut it down to too few names

unless you really think you know character actors in first movie from 1994. Superhero movie from 94. That's correct, sir. The clue is Leonard Maltin gives it a generous one and a half stars. Sir, that is not a clue.

That's a clue. That is not a clue. I'm just telling you the movie is not one and a half star worthy. And there are seven names. Kevin, you start. How many names can you name? There are only seven names to start with. There's only seven names. I can think I can do it in seven names. Kevin, you start. How many names can you name? There are only seven names to start with. There's only seven names.

I can think I can do it in seven names. All right. Do you think you can do it in seven names, or do you think you could do it in six? I can do it in six. Wow. This is brutal. You guys are fighting like babies. I mean, I can't say eight.

So really the only other number. Another way to go is six. Oh, I'm sorry. That's the one part I didn't say eight, so really the only other number. Another way to go is six. Oh, I'm sorry. That's the one part I didn't tell you about. You could say name that movie instead of six, but you already said six. So Kevin says name that movie. So you've got to name it in six names. Okay.

All right. The first name is Jason Alexander. Yes. The first name is Jason Alexander. There's a guy in the audience who just clapped for himself because he guessed it before I said any names. Hearing Jason Alexander made him go, yes, I knew it was that movie.

A superhero movie in 94 and you nailed it. I don't even remember Jason Alexander in anything in 1994. Was Pretty Woman in 94? All right it. I don't even remember Jason Alexander in anything in 1994. Was Pretty Woman in 94? Alright, so Jason Alexander, John Polito, Lynn Thigpen, that's three names,

Christopher Lawford, that's four, this one will kind of help you a little bit, Robin Givens, and then the final name I can give you, which is one way of name, so the star is not going to be named, but the final name I can give you, and it's a pretty good clue, 1994 superhero movie, David Alan Greer. The answer is Blank Man. Yes!

You did it! Jerry O'Connell, bringing the heat. I didn't see that coming. Really? I didn't think you'd do that tough for a competitor. Because David Alan Greer's been in a lot of movies. I didn't see that coming. I thought... Really? I didn't think he was that tough a competitor. Because David Allen Grier's been in a lot of movies. You didn't see that coming?

He has been in a lot of movies. I would have guessed that one with Bonnie Hunt. Written by our mutual friend, Michael Binder. Directed by him, for sure. Yeah, he directed it. I think Damon Wayans and David Allen Grier might have written it together. Maybe. You've got the book for damn sure.

But anyway, so since you're friends with those guys, I think the one and a half stars was really uncool. It stopped Mike's career for about ten years. It was very uncool. Yes. But he's made a good comeback. He's literally a hell of a comeback. He's on top of the world.

He's worked with Kevin Costner. He's worked with that guy who cheats on poker. But no, I've been great friends with him forever. That movie literally went, move over. We're going to let show business walk by for ten years. And you're welcome back Let show business pass On the right It's so cruel

I hate those people At the airport That don't get the You have to pass On the conveyor belts When you're late for a plane Movie number two Yeah you're right

I'm stoned This is from I hate those people Whether I'm stoned Or not stoned 1997 This is from I hate those people Whether I'm stone or not stone 1997 Quit making the clumbo face 1997

Len Moulton gives this A generous two stars Two stars It's a very generous two stars So it's half a star Better than blank man Yeah but I'll give you Another clue

Alright The villain gets top billing Over the hero And it's a superhero movie That's a pretty good clue What year did it come out Yeah, but I'll give you another clue. All right. The villain gets top billing over the hero. And it's a superhero movie. That's a pretty good clue. What year would it come out? An even better clue would be for another superhero movie, the dad got bigger billing than the superhero,

and he was only in the first 20 minutes, and he lived on another planet. Jerry knows. Superman. Superman, Marlon Brando. Yes. Do you do Marlon Brando? Do what?

Do you do an impression of Marlon Brando. Yes. Do you do Marlon Brando? Do what? Do you do an impression of Marlon Brando? Which age? Oh my god. How about a little something from Guys and Dolls? Lock me a lady tonight. Okay. That was Doug. Really? You thought some people would think it was you? Yes. yes wow i do think some of your audience

may have thought that was me okay uh there are eight names eight names eight names in this 1997 superhero movie 97 uh-huh i just want to say did did everyone notice doug see me trying to cheat and like move the book over and everything? Oh, I did not. I just do it on instinct because that is a great way to cheat at this game. I used to do it to my friends all the time. I'd just look and see what part of the alphabet they were in. That's a good clue.

Oh, right. I didn't think of that. You're right. I should have. I was trying to read it. Okay, so since Jerry got that one right, do you want to... Unbelievably sincere for the first 28 minutes and then just liar, cheater. Well, I mean, he was putting it in my face.

I've got it right in my eyes. Luckily, I can't see anything. But so, Kevin, do you want to go first or do you want him to start? How many... He got the last one right. Okay, so there's eight names. Eight names? Yeah, how many can you do it in?

You can bid lower than eight if you want, if you want to get things all jacked up. Choose less than eight, and then I'll choose one more. So say seven, and I'll say eight. This is really not part of the game, is to plot it out ahead of time. No, well, I mean, I want to give Kevin a shot to go first. Seven.

Eight. What? You can't. You've got to go six or say name that movie seven or say name that he said eight so you have to say seven or i said seven oh you said seven so you gotta go six or name that movie it'll play it back like a sprouter film it'll all make sense i'll go six he's going six i told him to go six. He's going six. I told him to go six. You told me to go six. There's a cash prize, right?

There's cash in here. No, there's nothing. You just get an empty, sad, broken bag. So now I have to say five or let him win again? He might not win. It's eight names and he's only getting six. He's not getting the hero or the bad guy. Fine.

Name that movie. All right. Miko Hughes. I think it's Miko. I know what movie it is. No, you don't. He's a little kid. He was a little kid in Pet Sematary,

and he was a little kid in Kindergarten Cop who said, boys have a penis, girls have a vagina. Six names, right? That's how the audition goes. Melinda Clark. 15 years later, by the way. It says here you were the boy that...

You're good. That was probably his character name. Boy who says... On his resume. Kindergarten cop. Boy who says... Okay, Melinda Clark. Nicole Williamson. Boy, you're... Okay. Melinda Clark. Nicole

Williamson. DB Sweeney. Classic DB Sweeney movie. DB Sweeney. Teresa Randall. Black woman. Hope. Just in case you didn't know, most of these people are white. And then

another whitey is your last clue. Martin Ultrasheen. Martin Sheen. And it's a superhero? Some people in the audience know it. It's a superhero film from 1997. Two stars. I could probably even tell you the name of the director and you won't get it.

Yes. Spawn. That's correct Wow Yeah it was directed by Mark A.Z. Dippy Why didn't you start with that He would have never guessed it Spock

What's the name of that guy they put on everything When they want to pull their name off the movie? Oh yeah, Alan Smithy Alan Smithy, yeah I'm not going to go with Alan Smithy I'm going to go with Mark A.Z. Dippy I'm going to have fun with it Well let me really quickly do the third movie

Even though it's best two out of three. So Jerry's the winner, ladies and gentlemen. Let's hear it for Jerry. Really? Kevin's a tough competitor. I didn't expect this. I'm sorry I stole that from you, Kevin. No, no, it was because he said six.

No, I would have never gotten Spawn. I would have never. Yeah, that was a tough one. This one's tough, too, from 2005. How are we doing on time? Did you help write this book? No, it was a popular comic and I knew it came out at that time.

But the movie made $9. It was Jerry's $9. Which means you saw it twice in 97, right? I did go see it at the theater. I did. We got to wrap it up. It's 2005, and I'm just going to give you all the names.

The first person who knows it wins nothing. Yes, that's how I thought the game worked. Whatever. Yeah, okay. Oh, you listened to some older episodes. We've kind of updated it a little bit. Okay, this movie has no black people in it. Not Spawn.

Unless you think Carrie Haryuki Tagawawa Tagawa Is a black person Terrence Stamp William Lee Superhero movie from 2005 Kirsten Prout

Goran Bishnik Yeah he was He was trapped in the thing Spinning through the sky 2005 He was mad at Jor-El Or was his name Jor-El No he was. He was trapped in the thing and spinning through the sky. 2005? He was mad at Jor-El. Or was his name Jor-El? No, he was mad at Jor-El.

Goran Viznik from ER. It was in this movie. And then we're down to the final name. The lead actress who stars as the title character from 2005. Elektra. Bam! Jerry O'Connell! Thanks for coming by.

Kevin Pollack. Until next time, Willem Dafoe is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.

There's no room in his heart for you cause Doug loves movies!