Doug Loves Movies - Kevin Smith, Jimmy Pardo, and Rob Huebel Guest

Episode Date: February 17, 2011

Doug welcomes filmmaker Kevin Smith to the show, along with comedians Jimmy Pardo and Rob Huebel. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or hurdles in his teeth They're still not far that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody My name is Doug and I love movies This is Doug Loves Movies Coming to you from the UCB Theater Before Comedy Death Ray

I saw Rango The nice people at Paramount Let me comedy death ray. I saw Rango. I saw the nice people at Paramount let me go to a preview screening of Rango. And let me just say this. 90 minutes with Rango could save you 50% or more on car insurance. He's not a gecko, actually. Well, Twitter has done it again, you guys.

I am here to tell you that twitter is awesome it comes in handy in revolutions as the egyptians can tell you and it helps me to get amazing guests because the conversation gets started and then several years later it happens yeah this has taken a long time to happen and it still still might not happen, so let's see if it's going to happen. Because I haven't seen this guest backstage, but I did pair him up with two listener favorites,

so they're here. Please welcome maybe all three of them, maybe just two of them. Rob Hubel, Jimmy Pardo, and Kevin Smith. I love Pardo. Yeah, who doesn't love him? The guy said he loves Pardo. Thank you, sir.

See, that's what I did there. I was like... I love you, buddy. I was like, what if Kevin Smith doesn't show up? Well, these people are favorites of the listeners. I did a quick poll on Twitter, and Jimmy Pardo got 75 votes, and Rob Hebel got 7. Ha!

I just want to say thank you to the L.A. Lakers for voting for me. What? All the Lakers follow me. I like that you wrote down, hey everybody. Oh yeah, it's all there. Everything that I needed to say and I got it out and now it's all freestyle from here.

We just have fun. I hear a door. I just heard a door. I wonder if that's our man. Is something about to happen? Is that our man? There's somebody in the audience with a name tag that says Pang on it. I see Pang. Yeah. Tiger's a

Pan Tang. They're a heavy metal band from the 80s. Really? That might not be the right name. Tiger's a Pang Tang? I was thinking of Survivor. I apologize. That hit, Eye of the Tiger. Survivor was really good heavy metal.

They were really good. I misunderstand musical genres. My intention tonight, in booking the show this way, when I heard that Kevin Smith, through Twitter, was interested in participating, I thought, let's get two other friends of mine that are, we're like a podcast

mafia now. That's right. Now Rob Hubel has joined the podcasting world. I don't know what podcasting is. But I'm told that I have one. I do have one. It's called Mike Detective. Yeah. I solve, I solve, thank you. People already love it. We're getting out. I haven't heard it. I solve. I solve. Thank you. People already love it. What's getting out?

I haven't heard it. I solve crimes. In the 40s. Every week you solve a crime in the 40s? No. I think it's a continuing crime story that I'm in, that I'm living. I'm pretty sure. It's confusing to me.

How does it get put together? Do other people? I write it. You write it down? I do it. And then you do it? And then you're confused by it? No. people, do other people, you write it down? I do it. And then you do it and then you're confused by it? No, no, no.

No, Scott Aukerman and Neil Campbell write it and I do it with Gray Delisle. She's another character on it. She does the voice of like all these like Scooby-Doo characters.

You guys don't know. You don't have kids. I have a kid. Do you really? Yeah. What voices does she do? I'd like to hear these voices. She does the voice of Scooby-Doo.

Scooby-Doo. That was amazing. I was like, where did Rob go? Scooby-Doo. Yeah, because you do the face and everything. Scooby-Doo. Get your kid over here. I'll do that voice anytime.

No, no. I'll do it. No. No, no. I'll do it. No. Gooby-doo! So what do we do? Do we do an over-under on if he's going to show up or not? Does he know how long the show lasts? I don't think so.

I think he knows very little about it. What time did you tell him to be here? 7.15. We're doing great. I think it's a swing and a miss. I bet 7-38 you think he won't show at all. I think you've been tricked via Twitter. No, he's going to show up.

No, no, people he works with emailed me. Oh. He's going to walk in the crowd. Well, that sounds legit. But also, where's the hilarious payoff that he didn't show up? It just makes him look bad, right? That's right, but funny around the office. He doesn't even know this is happening.

They think it's funny on the set of The Office? Something's gotta be. He's gonna... Oh, Snapple! This show this week is brought to you by an amazing fruit beverage. I'm gonna point out whenever there's an Oh Snapple moment.

Rob, I think, I think, I think Kevin's going to walk in, the crowd's going to go crazy, and he's going to

get like 400 blowjobs. Oh! What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you? Here we go. Hi there. Blowjob, blowjob, blowjob, blowjob, blowjob. My timing is nothing if it's not impeccable.

Pretty good. That's almost like we... Did I hear blowjob, Kevin? Almost like we planned that. Why would I help another guy out with that? That would be ridiculous. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right? Getting me head? That was perfect. But, yeah, yeah, right? Get in the head

That was perfect But Jimmy, I had a question for you Yes, Doug, I'm down here Yes, Doug Kevin, sit tight I will You had the Conan O'Brien on your program We had Conan O'Brien on Never Not Funny Podcast

That's right That's huge It's available, the whole hour and 45 minutes It's available for free this time A whole hour and 45 Are you just shooting the shit with Conan? Well, Matt Belknap as well. And my team of people over there at the Never Not Funny studios.

Of course, Matt produces this show as well. So I see him every once in a while. Every now and then. He shows up. Yeah, we got Conan on. Complains about his kid. And it's free. So you don't have to pay for this particular episode.

Because normally there's a fee to listen to and watch it. Because you have visuals as well. Audio and video, yeah. All right. Yeah, we usually charge. Because normally there's a fee to listen to and watch it. Because you have visuals as well. Audio and video, yeah. Yeah, all right. Yeah, we usually charge. This week it's free, so go listen to Conan O'Brien and me yell at each other for an hour and 45 minutes. It's a lot of fun.

Fair enough. I would dare say if you went on to iTunes right now and looked at comedy podcasts, you're looking at four shows, four different shows, that are probably in the top 20 right now. Mine's number one. I don't believe that's true, actually. Ace, what's up, Ace?

Adam Kroll is here, everybody. Scooby-Doo! Yeah, I think we're number three. But we all do. Jimmy and Rob and I each do one podcast. But Kevin... I multitask. How many podcasts do you have now?

I podcast like a fat man eats pussy. I gotta basically cover all my bases so they'll come back. You know what I'm saying? I gotta do a very thorough job. So if I don't get you with this show, I try to get you with this show. If I don't get you with this show, I try to get you with this show. If I don't get you with this show,

I try to get you with this show. If I don't get you with that show, there's this show. I could keep doing this. Stop me any time. Oh yeah, there's a lot of shows in the vagina that you can hit on for a second. As many shots at the clit as I can.

Because when they remember your performance, they'll invite you back. Even if they're like, I had to lift his gut to find his dick. That's what I've heard. Jimmy's show is done without any swearing or offensive language, right, Jimmy?

No, that's not true. We're considered explicit. We swear from time to time. I was like, wow, it's like the Bill Cosby of the 21st century. I was just joking around. He is easily guys, I was like, wow, it's like the Bill Cosby of the 21st century. No, no, no. I was just joking around. Because he does make,

he is easily offended though. Who's that, me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't care for language. I tuned out halfway through that story. I heard fat man and I was out. I don't care what

that fat guy's doing. I'm not listening. He could be eating pussy. You could be enjoying a pie. Either one. Same thing. You're the fucking... You are the Southwest Airlines of podcasters.

That's right. That's right. Buy two seats, friend. Why do I got to be uncomfortable? Because you won't buy a second seat. I got to scrunch up? No, sir. I did not intend for this to happen in front of Pang.

I know that. Pang knows it. Pang didn't come out for this sort of thing. This is Doug Loves Movies. They don't even show movies on Southwest, so there's a strike against them right there. They don't show any movies? Yeah.

Why do they not do that? Some smart-ass Southwest employee should have went, we're not showing his movies anymore after that incident. Someone did, but nobody was around to hear it. Nobody heard it. And they were just like, bummer.

Oh, they're always with, like, you don't know if it's going to be peanuts or pretzels. Okay, so... I have a lot of grievances with Southwest. They got kicked off. You're concerned about a fucking snack? Yeah.

You got to get online. To be fair, I got kicked off because I was concerned about fucking snacks as well. got kicked off. You're concerned about a fucking snack? You got to get online. I got kicked off because I was concerned about fucking snacks as well. You're right. You're right. You got to get online like a game show to get your seat on Southwest. You have to check in exactly 24 hours before you're supposed to go. It's very family feud. You got to pick a team captain as well.

It's hard for someone who smokes pot all day to always hit that window. So sometimes I'm, you know, I board number 72 or I forget how high it goes. I like Southwest Airlines. Mike Detective, brought to you by Southwest Airlines. So, Kevin, thank you for getting here. That was exciting. It was almost like we couldn't have planned it better

for everyone to think, oh, is he going to show up or not? And then you did, but with plenty of time left to spare. Because it is, someone did mention, does he know how long the show is? How long is it? It's a boom. Count it. How long is it. It's only... Count it.

How long is it? It's only 45 minutes. Why? Because it's... We always do it in front of the Comedy Death Ray show that starts at 8.30 and this audience

is comprised of people that came just to see this but then other people that are waiting to see that but got good seats because they have tickets for that. So essentially

out of consideration. Absolutely. Okay. It's absolutely out of consideration. I wasn't being considered at all. I was like, they'll start when I get there. Did you really think that? I didn't know there was going to be a panel and shit. I saw the

two dudes when I came in the door. I was like, fuck. So this is going to be a really interesting Leonard Maltin game because you haven't heard the podcast. No. I'm clean. I'm coming in pretty clean. But I think you'll still be good at it. Especially next to Hubel. I don't know why you said that.

I will destroy everyone up here at that fucking game. Zoinks! You can't do it. It was Shaggy. It wasn't Scoob. Doesn't sound anything like him. Terrible. I don't disagree with that.

You can't just say zoinks. Very territorial. Scooby-Doo. That's fucking a voice. Oh, yeah. I wanted to say one thing to Kevin. This is Doug Loves Movies, and I love Mallrats.

Thanks, man love Mallrats. Thanks, man. Mallrats has always been a favorite of mine. Thank you. Can I say something? Sure. Mallrats, I was thinking about as I was coming down here, because right here is Mallrats slash Chasing Amy Central.

When I was dating the girl from Chasing Amy, Joey Adams, she lived real nearby here, Beachwood Canyon. And then we also got a place on Vista Del Mar. Over here, Jason Lee was in the Scientology Center. So, you know, that's one for Chasing Amy. I try not to think about that, because he's one of my favorites from Mallrats on,

and I just put that on my mind every time. Yeah, I'm sure he's very nice. No, he hangs out there. One time he was like, you want to go? And I was like, I'm not a celebrity. And then in the parking lot of Victor's, Ben Affleck blew me once. So that's like chasing Amy.

This is a big area. I used to eat at Bird's. There's Victor's over here. I was coming here. I started feeling very emotional. Like, oh, this is the place. We're not far from here. I said so so many times please don't cheat on me please don't cheat on me but if you're gonna cheat on me just tell me right away and we'll get over it you

know that kind of shit very near here man back in 1996 that's intense yeah it's gonna be a very special episode i didn't mean for that to happen i not, I don't try to make the guests cry. I go for making the host cry. So, get there. I think so. I'd like to know, did she cheat on you?

She did, ultimately. Fuck, man. Fuck. Broad man. She told me that I willed it into existence, though.

She said it was my fault because I kept insisting she would. Hmm. And I bought it back then. I was like, I'm so sorry. I deserve this. You're right. Self kept insisting she would. Hmm. And I bought it back then. I was like, I'm so sorry. I deserve this. You're right.

Self-fulfilling prophecy. Totally. I was wasted on my own petard. Upside, you don't have to hear that voice anymore. So there's always a...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was very mean. She has an adorable voice. It's adorable. But even, but like in Chasing Amy, when she's yelling at someone, it's not so cute anymore.

No. Because she's intense. She catches your attention. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.'s yelling at someone, it's not so cute anymore. No. She's intense. She catches your attention. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've received the brunt of that in real life and it wasn't nearly as well written. Not as many words.

Real Joey Adams takes a breath every once in a while. Takes a breath. Talks about how little your dick is and how you should lose weight. No, she like that. No, she was great. She was actually a really cool lady. She's awesome.

One day she just woke up and she was like, oh my God, you're fat, and she got out of there. And she hooked up with Vince Vaughn. He's handsome. Yeah, and thin. That motherfucker gets on one seat every plane, man. Holy shit, though. I was watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith on the treadmill the other day.

Yeah, you're on the treadmill all the time. It was an elliptical. I'm sorry. You caught me in a small eye. And I was watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith. And Vince Vaughn is in that. He's great in it. But holy shit, he looked really young and good

and that was what 10 years ago? You said but holy shit. Think about that. But holy shit. But you meant but holy shit. That was like a moment from Batman and Robin like holy rusted metal Batman.

And he's like what? And he's like the metal that's holy and rusted. Do you like sit around waiting for like the metal that's holy and rustic do you like sit around waiting for did you that when finally someone said but holy shit right in front of you and you're like my hand went up like the smart kid oh god yes here we go that's my bread and butter but holy jokes sorry but that's the thing that's interesting about you is that i don't listen to your podcast but you really do like you do do seem to be filthy all the time. You're very comfortable in that zone. Yeah, I don't think of it as filthy.

When everyone around you speaks like that, it's the common language. That's interesting, because when Edgar Wright was on... Stop touching me. I'm sorry. Look, I'm a stoner, too. I don't go around touching people. I know, you're right. Did you see The Fighter?

Yes. Did fucking Christian Bale drive you crazy how much he touched everybody it was like so real yeah so the person i never want to be around yes i thought he had studied under uh jason muse the guy who plays j to my son bob he was a really bad junkie at one point when i watched the fighter i swore that christian bale had hung out with muse because that was exactly like he acted he's also energetic but like directed nowhere yeah and just that weird like touchy-feely friendly like all the friends we're doing that yeah he's amazingly hor horrible person in that movie and uh i loved it and i've i've totally lost my train of thought yeah but that's the other reason why I wish you could have gotten here, you know, a few minutes before the show started for pre-show bong rips.

That me and all my guests share. Jimmy had a few. Jimmy took a couple big ones. No, I didn't. I brought my own in case things go wrong. I'm warning you, I'm a cop. I heard there was a green room here. I am legally obligated to tell you

I'm an undercover cop. And that's just that salvia shit. Everybody here is busted. Lock the doors. Yeah, you are. Yes, you are. Why? Because it's right close to you.

Closest close. Fuck you. That is the biggest container for a joint ever yeah that joint's not gonna be bad in two even with that lighter in there

they could fight it out all day they could thumb wrestle all day in there and that thing is gonna stay nice and stiff they do a little dance man

I love it they're like when will we meet when will we kiss so Kevin wow that's the next Pixar movie.

They're fucking joining the lighter and they're stuck in a container together and they fall in love. It's an O. Henry-ish story of love because if they finally kiss, one of them's going to die. And that's what the whole movie's on. When will we kiss?

Oh, goddammit, that's way too heavy. People are trying to drive while they listen to this. But the one thing I wrote down in a post-it that I want to say about Mallrats, because I do love it, but I also, there's one thing in it that I find to be one of the most disgusting things in motion pictures.

The way Michael Rooker eats the chocolate-covered pretzels and licks every fucking finger covered in chocolate pretzels that have been in somebody's ass area. That is grosser and more horrifying than anything he did in Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer. I wrote that on a Post-it. 47 films the man has made

and that's the one observation that I thought was brilliant when I was high one afternoon in my kitchen. Is it annoying to you when people say, like, hey, I like this movie from, like, a million years ago? Oh, God, no. I like when dudes come up to me and chicks, and they're, like, mostly chicks. But it's really mostly guys.

But I wish it was chicks because I could make my wife jealous. I like when people come up to me and they're just like, oh my God, Clerks means the world to me. And they're like 15 because you're like, you were cum when we made that movie. Like when I was making that movie, you lived in some old man's balls. And now you're here telling me you like it.

And like, how could you possibly relate to something made way back then? Kids like being called cum too. Yeah, I agree. It's so sexy. Turns them on. Totally.

Kids get excited when they hear talk like that. Oh, boy. We have to play the Leonard Moulton game. Yep. Already?

We have to do it. I know. Time flies, man. This thing goes so fast. This show's a rocket, but if you're willing to have me, I would love to come on your show and really just chat about movies and yours and others. What's the most recent movie you've seen?

What did I... I mean, I just watched on Blu-ray Monsters, that movie where it was made on a low budget. Yeah, somebody clapped. That guy made it and I watched Buried did you see that Ryan Reynolds movie

I saw that did you like that basically they took the few minutes of Uma Thurman and the casket from Kill Bill and made 90 minutes

they made that a whole movie yeah yeah yeah and I thought it was well shot for what it is the whole they don't ever get out of the I don't want to spoil it

but close your ears spoilers never they're in the fucking box. And the whole movie, you're like, pretty soon they're going to show you how he got in the box.

They never cut outside the box. Ever. And it's you and Ryan Reynolds so close for like 90 minutes. You feel like Scarlett Johansson the whole fucking time. You just want to get away, man. She left him when she saw

the Green Lantern outfit. Like when she saw the trailer, that was the final straw. He did that thing. He's like, pow. And she's like, I'm out. It's too CGI-like weirdness. It's not like a person.

Okay. So I've complained about that on this before. The Leonard Maltin game, a lot of people find it very complicated. As you can see, the signs came out. Everyone has name tags. Because my guests always play for somebody in the audience. And then they win this bag of stuff That you contributed stuff to And they did and I did as well

And one person's going to win all that If you win for that person So what I'd like to ask you to do now Is pick a name tag that you like And have that person bring it to you And uh What does that mean? Why did the guy yell out Newman?

Do you think Kevin had Oh no And what does that mean? Why did the guy yell out Newman? He thought I was the dude from Seinfeld. Oh, no. You're so great on Seinfeld. He's like, is that the motherfucker from Jurassic Park? He ruined everything. Oh, that guy was such a shithead the way he dealt with that velociraptor. And Jimmy and Rob, also, pick name tags that you like and go get it. Go grab it from me.

Way too much pressure. Look at this one. This is very complicated. The guy made something out of wood here named Sam. Gordon. Why are you also holding your ID? Oh, because it's New Jersey. He's from New Jersey.

He's trying to sell me that banana, buddy. Gordon Lightfoot. Commissioner Gordon Lightfoot. Wow, that's funny. Did you pick him? That's pretty funny. Yeah, I picked him. Yeah,foot. Wow, that's funny. Did you pick him? That's pretty funny. Yeah, I picked him. Yeah, nice.

I like that, man. And Rob picked a banana that says Jared on it. I'm just hungry. I just wanted to eat this banana. Someone wrote on that. Quick plug for Jared Jewelry Stores. I went with Glenn. Glenn is on it.

He's on a... Oh, we're not playing for any girls? No, no ladies. Glenn is on a CD. Sorry. Sorry, ladies. Sorry. It's not always going to be easy. I'm playing for the girls. No, it's on a CD. Sorry. Sorry, ladies. Sorry. It's not always going to be easy.

I'm playing for the ladies. In my heart. Yeah, well, you know. They might know a lady. What's up, Russell? His name tag is all over his shirt. Jared, your banana's all fucked up. It won't stand up the way you want it to?

It's got a little face. It's a dolphin. Yeah. Is this a dolphin. Yeah. Is this a dolphin? I know. Is it a face of a dolphin? No, it's his face. It's the banana's face.

It's cooler if it's a dolphin. All right. All right, so I'll start with... These guys have played the game a bunch of times before, so I'll start with them, and when it comes around to you, hopefully by then you'll have the gist of what's happening, and you'll cream everybody. Edgar Wright is great at this game.

I'm great at it. He was very excited to hear that you're going to be playing it, because Edgar gets excited Hey, hey, stop name dropping, all right? Yeah. Everyone here knows my man love for Edgar Wright. And I think you didn't say anything dirty in front of him. You kept it nice and British when you were talking to him. No, I dropped it. I was also like, do you get pussy

from this job? That's about as... Oh yeah, that was a good question though. What did he say? What's the answer to that? Rightio! Some British thing. No, and I don't know why. Alright. Some British thing. No, and I don't know why. All right.

Awesome. The show might go long. Good morning, everybody. Okay, so here are your category choices, Rob Hubel. Okay. First of three or more. That's a movie that was the very first of a series of films that lasted for more than three. Next category, John Travolta's birthday is the day this podcast pops.

This is Friday, 2-18. So John Travolta movies. Or, and this is kind of a sad one, rest in peace Kenneth Mars, who just passed away. Great, hilarious character actor. I know who he is. We all know who he is. You actor. I know who he is. We all know who he is. You really don't know who he is?

Let's do first of three. Okay. Way to settle that. I thought we each got a category. We're all in one category? What happens is you guys are going to bid. I'm going to give him a choice of years, and then I'm going to give a bunch of clues,

and then we're going to go around, and you you say I can name that movie in this many names and I'll read the names that Leonard Maltin has provided he lists a lot of names because he loves actors and their names so he lists a bunch of names I'll read them from the bottom up so if you're like I can name in two I'll only name the two bottom listed cast members

on the application and what's happening over there? Somebody gave Jimmy a snack? I'm not eating some weirdo's crackers. That guy's wearing shorts. No way. Some weirdo's crackers. Alright, so Rob,

would you like a movie? So just don't guess unless it's your turn. That's the main thing you have to know at this point. Back off. Yeah, back the hell off. Would you like a movie

from 2002 or 2006 that's the first of three or more? 2006. Okay. He goes with the more recent one. Come on, man. May have not have been a wise move.

Please. Leonard Maltin gives this movie two stars. Please. There's so many people watching on the internet. Please. It was directed by a lady is one clue I'll give you. I got it. I already got it.

And no you don't. And another clue is that I'll read something else from the review while you get your potassium. He says that... God, this is hard to pick one out of there. Oh, no, no. Was this in your butt?

Was this in your butt? No. No, okay. All right, I'm just going to tell you that the genre is dramatic music romance. Say it again, you that the genre is Dramatic music romance Say it again, please Drama music romance Drama music romance

Boat, cucumber, wire And there are There are two stars Taxi, avocado, brick There's two stars And he calls it a drama music romance Those are the categories And it was directed by a woman

And it's from 2006 And it's the first of You know Of three or more It was an American movie? And there are Don't You can't ask me questions

And there are Nine names So I ask Rob Hubel How many names From the cast Do you think you can Name this movie in? I can name it in two names

He goes for an extremely I didn't know this I didn't know that Extremely drastic bid So now Jimmy Who's next to him Can say either Name that movie

Or he can go lower And say I can name it In one name I cannot go lower Doug I don't know this movie So you think you have to Say name it

I think I have to Name it Rob Alright Rob Hubel So he has to name the movie Now can I go higher I was kind of bluffing Okay I could Bluff it six You should have looked At Jimmy to see Where he was at can I go higher? I was kind of bluffing. Bluff at six.

You should have looked at Jimmy to see where he was at when I was giving those clues, maybe, because he looked like he had no idea. I don't like lady directors. You can talk about Betty Tomlinson all you want, just don't watch her. What's Betty Marshall done for you? Nothing lately.

She puts that milk in that Pepsi, it's nauseating. All right, so Rob, do you want to hear your two names? Yeah. All right. And he has to try to guess it. Say I'm good. And your two names are Isaiah Washington. Know it.

So, but let me just tell you, it's not Grey's Anatomy, the movie. Because only fags went to that. That's just a joke about how Isaiah Washington said that terrible word. And Heavy D is in this movie. Those are your two names. And it's a music romance drama. And there's been three of them At least

Do you guys know what it is? And Leonard gives it two stars This guy in the front row knows it Move your mouths in the way that you would say it No, don't No cheating So you have no feel for it at all? Hold on, man

Are you contacting the dead? I'm sure they don't like this always playing the scooby-doo card there are three of these movies yeah it's music drama romance all right directed by a lady. Is it called... Star Wars? Nope. It's called... Yeah, the front row.

What is it? Is it Step Up? It's Step Up. That's right. Fuck, man. I saw those movies. I saw Step Up 3D. That was my favorite movie.

I know. You love Step Up movies and you didn't recognize it. The guy from Grey's Anatomy isn't in that. Isaiah Washington, that's his name, right? Yeah, he wasn't

That's a different Isaiah Washington, man. No, then it was because SAG would make him Isaiah R. Washington or some shit. Damn it. If you haven't seen

Step Up 3D, you gotta watch that movie, man. Sweat comes at you and it's like, it's so awesome. So, Kevin, do you think you got a feel for how that works all right jimmy got the point jimmy got the point so a lot of times it's just playing defensively you know just making the other person guess i'm waiting for them to fuck up so i'll give you some categories and you can pick one okay would you like uh black and white movies

in in tribute to you being here and clerks, of course. And, yeah, one guy. Inappropriate. Or in tribute to Jimmy Pardo, movies he was cut out of. I might get these. You might. You might know them. No, I was just joking around.

I like humor. Next category. Next category is, of course, it's Black History Month. So these are movies with either the word black or history or month in the title. Sir, you're laughing at it when I think you're laughing at it. It's my favorite guy in the room. I'm not mistaken. And then ScarMichael42 on Twitter suggested movies about hit men or hit persons.

What was the second one? Oh, the Black History? Yeah, Black or History or Month is in the title. Oh, I see. Or Black and White Movies. You want that one? I said Black and History and Month. Black and History and Month. Alright, so all these movies have either Black or History or Month. I don't think there's ever been a movie that has more than one of those in the title. Well, I think Warner Brothers, you know how they made

Valentine's Day and stuff like that? Next up is Black History Month. I would see that. If they got every awesome black actor and they were having romantic entanglements. And they were like, what do we do? Do we romance? And then they're like, house party! And that's how it ends.

All right, Kevin. Would you like a black history or a month movie from 2001, 2005, or 2006? I will go 2001. I never did tell everybody what we're playing for, so I'll have to remember to do that because there's some exciting stuff in that bag. And it's a nice bag, too. You can carry stuff around in it. All right. Sometimes I just almost want to blurt out the name of the movie

when I look at it because I lose my place on what I'm doing. I'm just like, I just want to say it's History of Violence. But that's not the one. That was from 2006.

Okay. Black History or Month is in the title. Leonard gives it three stars. I don't know. Out of how many possible? Out of four. I don't know if I agree with that.

It's a pretty good movie. He calls it harrowing. And he also says that it's based on a book. Oh. Yeah. And it's either got a black history or a month in the title. And it's from 2001. And there are 15 names.

I think. Let me recount that. Yeah, 15. So how many names do you think? I can do it in three names. It says three names. I think. I'm going to recount that. Yeah, 15. So how many names do you think? I can do it in three names. It says three names. See, I knew he'd be an exciting, vibrant player. He'd show up dressed like he's going to be in a sporting event.

And then bring it. Is this to me? Rob Hubel. Can I just say name that movie? Of course you can. Name that movie, buddy. What a pussy. But I first get to hear the three names, right?

Yeah, of course. Scared me. Put me on the spot. I was like, I don't know. I think I have a good feeling about you in this one. Okay. Three stars. 2001.

Harrowing. Based on a book. Has black history or month in the title. Okay. Your three names are Orlando Bloom, Jeremy Piven, and Zelko Ivonek. Okay. Give me those names again. Zelko.

Ivonek. Orlando. Bloom. And the Pivs. JP. Nobody calls him that. What's up, Pivs? I go up to him before my eyes are out

and say, let's pivot out. Yeah, right? 2001. Harrowing. Black and or history and or month. Yeah. Piecing it together. One more time with the names.

Jelko Ivonek, Orlando Bloom, and Jeremy Piven. All right, so... Those are the last names out of 15. Yeah. So this is a movie with some people in it. Way down the list. Yeah, so those are like small parts, theoretically. I feel you.

There are no small parts. Unless it said, and introducing Jelko Ivonek. Tricky. I'm not sure I'm thinking. How much time do I have? None? Yeah, we're done. Thanks. But it was fun.

Does anybody honestly think they know it? Yeah. What is it? Black Hawk Down. That's right. I never would have got that. Why? Did you not see it? I did see it, but I didn't know that to the greatest of...

It's hard to remember all those people were in it. I didn't know Bloom was in it, man. Yeah, yeah. What is Jeremy Piven do in that movie? He comes in and he's all aggravated. Let's hug it out! Come on, Angolis, let's hug it out. He's amped about something.

Remember that guy that comes in and he's all really wired? He's like, damn, years! No. Alright, so that means that Rob's got a point. Yes, thank you. And Jimmy's got a point. That's right. We played at two points. We've done nothing. We don't have that much time.'s got a point. Yes. And Jimmy's got a point. That's right. We played at two points.

We've done nothing. We don't have that much time. We've gotten tense. So Rob said you name it. So let's start with Jimmy on this one. More than happy to do it. All right. Matt Dillon's celebrating a birthday this Friday.

Big day in birthdays. Happy birthday. So Matt Dillon movies is in the mix. Okay. Today is the Prophet Muhammad's birthday. It is. He was in Crash 2. He. Today is the Prophet Muhammad's birthday. It is. He was in Crash 2. He was?

Duh. Duh. Crash 2? Your sequel? That's where everything went wrong, you know? Crash, everything works out. Crash 2 is like The Empire Strikes Back. Jesus.

It's very dark, and Matt Dillon gets taken away by Boba Fett. Okay, Matt Dillon gets taken away by Boba Fett. Okay, Matt Dillon. I'm going to bring Kenneth Mars up again because that guy's great. Yep, so no. You're not going to do it. No. Let me just tell everybody then what he was in that's amazing. He was in What's Up Doc.

He was in Fletch. And he was in Citizen Ruth and Young Frankenstein and Always Hilarious. So, rest in peace. I'll say Fletch then. All right, you guys. We have a winner. In this bag we have... No, let me give you

another category. You want to go Johnny T movies? Oh, yeah. Let's go Johnny T. I'll go Johnny T. All right. You can just call

your own category. It was one of the... I was going to say one of them. Who cares? Who cares? We met at... Are you that threatened by...

Do you think he knows that much about Johnny T? You want to go with Matt Dillon? I'll go with Matt Dillon. No, no, no. I want to hear Johnny T. Oh, okay. All right, let's go Johnny T. And by the way, no one calls him Johnny T.

And lives to talk about it. Oh, there could be some really dark things said after that, but I'm not gonna... 1985. 85, John Travolta. He's been through some sad shit, that guy. More dates. But also, some good shit.

Some really good shit. Some of the best movies ever made. Maybe not these ones, but... 85, 98, or 2004? 85. 85 is going to be easiest. What was it, 98? Sure. Is that what you said?

98. I'll go 98. No, it's 85. 98? If you picked 85, the answer is perfect. 98. You gotta think, dude. answer is perfect. 98. It was, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta think, dude.

Fucked up. Sorry. You know, in most sporting endeavors and game shows, people playing for the first time are usually not schooling the ones that have done it for a while. I was in the Tournament of Champions. He was in a Tournament of Championships. I ate a butt banana, man. You know what? I'll go 85 then. What ate a butt banana, man. You know what? I'll go 85 then.

What? Yeah. What happened? No names. I could do it in negative two names. What? I could do negative three, maybe. I can do negative three.

Yeah, I could. Okay. Maybe. Do it. Well, Johnny T. This doesn't count for anything Johnny T up top Right

And then The second gal Whose name I had one second ago Now I'm blanking Oh my god Lorraine Newman is number three You think? She's not in the three hole?

No she's like five Six She's six J L C Yeah Jamie Lee Curtis Oh Jamie Lee Curtis Yeah yeah Jamie Lee Curtis No, she's like five, six. She's six. J-L-C. Yeah, Jamie Lee Curtis. Oh, Jamie Lee Curtis. Yeah, Jamie Lee Curtis.

But also three, I wouldn't have pulled this out of my ass because I forgot. Charles Grode. That the third person is the Rolling Stone publisher, Jan Wenner. He's in the movie. Had a big part as the publisher because it takes place at Rolling Stone. Where's Lorraine Newman then? Number four? No, I'm telling you, she's number six.

Oh, no, that's too low. Fucking Ann DeSalvo gets in ahead of her. No. Who works out of my gym. And see her there all the time. I was like, hey, you were in my favorite year.

And Stefan Giersch. No. Newman got robbed on that. Stefan Giersch was also very funny in What's Up, Doc? All right, so the movie is the real one. Let's get to the real game.

We're almost out of time. 98? Why did I say that for? Yeah, what were you doing? I knew perfect. We might get a three-way tie going here. Doug, where do you work out, man? I don't really want to say because people will come around and... People will come around and notice I'm never there.

I don't know. Hey, you said you worked out at Schmitty's. I go to Schmitty's all the time. I don't see you. But I did see Anne DeSalvo. And I told her she was great in my favorite year. I never said that to her.

And I've had conversations with her. Schmitty's is a terrible name for a gym. What? That's a terrible name for a fake gym. It's more of a boxing gym. Okay, so it's from 1998. 98. Three stars. of a boxing gym. It's from 1998. Three stars. How many? Three.

Three 98. I don't agree or disagree because I've never stayed awake through this entire movie. That's a good clue. Leonard calls it ethereal. I don't know what that means. The director also scripted it and there are 17 names

I know it Oh I know it No you don't 12 What was the category again? Oh Johnny T I'll say 12 names 12 names you start off with Kevin

Do you want to bid lower? Or do you want to say Name it with 12 out of 17 Wait 12 out of how many? 12 out of 17 So that's a how many? 12 out of 17. He gets to name 12 names? Yeah, yeah. Or he gets those. I'll name it in two names. Two names, he says.

Exciting competitor. Usually people test the waters a little bit, but you're all in. You can name it in two names. Two names, he says, Rob. So if you ask him to name it, he does. I know the rules, Doug. No, I'm setting up the drama. I always forget to do. So if you ask him to name it, he does. I know the rules, Doug. No, I'm setting up the drama.

I always forget to do this. If you ask him to name it, he does. Three-way tie. Oh, that's exciting. You go to one more. But if you don't ask him to name it, you bid less. Let me ask Jared. Jared, what do you think? You're going to have to... Oh, no. Great job, Jared. Forget it. Please don't come out here and knock your empty beer cans.

I say Name that movie Okay Alright so you get two names Do you want the clues again? Three stars Three stars John Travolta movie It's Johnny T is in it somewhere

Okay It's ethereal Okay Directed by the Scripted by the director Okay And there's a lot of names 17 of them

Okay And three of them are Sean Hattose Hattose He said two names He said two names Nick Stahl Okay Three of them are Sean Hattose. Hattose? He said two names. He said two names. Nick Stahl.

Okay. And, unfortunately, Johnny T. So that does tell you it has a pretty small part. What, like fucking a dick? What? What? Part done? I'm just saying, how often does John Travolta not have a big part in a movie?

One time in 98. That's a very good clue. I'm good at this part of the game. Okay, 98. Do any of you have an idea? Ethereal? Yeah, it's ethereal. Written and directed by the same person?

And I've never been able to stay awake through the whole thing. That's a really good clue. Having met you, that helps. Some people. I mean, Ethereal,

in my case, equals rather dull, rather boring. Okay. So that's why I fall asleep during it. And Travolta's way down the list so you're saying Travolta's not up there as the lead.

He's not in it much. If at all. No, he's in it. Just so I'm clear. I don't remember his part in it. If he misses this, Rob wins? Yeah. What do you mean?

Why do you say it like that? You always get angry about the rules. I win because I'm smart. While you think about it, I'm going to tell him what we're playing for while you think about it. He brought an awesome Silent Bob Clerks action figure. A copy of

Shooting the S Word with Kevin Smith. Even on the cover of a book. You have to filth it up. Also a copy of... This has the word ass on it. Don't look that shit up on your phone. Oh, this is awesome. The cover, he has this action figure in his mouth. So go home and

recreate that. Take a picture of yourself and send it to Twitter with at Kevin Smith on there. That's your name on Twitter, right? At Kevin Smith? That Kevin Smith. At that Kevin Smith. Yeah, send him that picture and then kill yourself. How creepy would that be?

And, um... Yeah, I would not kill yourselves. You think I should rescind that part? Okay, don't kill yourselves, you guys. Jimmy Pardo brought a Never Not Funny t-shirt.

What size is that, you think? Large. Okay. And then from the good folks at TLC Films, we got yet another copy of

Joan Rivers' A Piece of Work. Have you seen that? It's a good movie. I saw that. Enjoy it. And fucking Rob Hubel brought a...

Do you want to describe it? It's a deer antler. It's a deer antler from this deer that terrorized me and my family, and so I choked him out and took his horns. And packaged it. Yeah, now I sell them. And I also brought a poster That I signed

In one of my CDs Professional Humoridian So all of that is up for grabs Kevin Smith Do you have an answer? You know, no I'm going to give unanswered The wrong one

I'm going to say Phenomenon Oh, okay At least you guessed The John Travolta movie Yeah, yeah, yeah But that's that's not the right one who knows it

anybody Din Red Line that's right Din Red Line how do you know that that Terrence Malick what do you do for a job well cause that

you don't have a job people love that movie do the people who knew it also love the movie yeah yeah see your job how many people have seen

that movie though it's rough it's rough it's just like I'm with you I watched the beginning how many fields of grass Yeah. How many people have seen that movie, though? It's rough. It's rough. It's just like, how many fields of grass am I going to go through before somebody gets fucking capped or something? Yeah, yeah. I thought this was a war movie. How come no one's cursing?

That's what I said. You say that all the time. You probably have to watch lots of Pixar movies with the kids and stuff. Yeah, I'm like, how come Buzz Lightyear ain't putting his dick in Woody's mouth? That would make it better. Do you ever stop and think that we might not have

Jason Lee if it wasn't for you? And that he's always pretty awesome? And especially when I said Pixar reminded me that I love his voice work in The Incredibles. So great. Anyway, it's weird to suddenly get all sincere at the end here.

How were you guys friends? We made a few movies together. Mallrats was the first movie we made. I met him auditioning for Mallrats. Oh, he just auditioned for it. He was like a skater who started acting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where I met him. He's like skate videos and stuff from way back. He was Ollie and shit when we were all in short pants.

Yeah. Back when we were cum. Don't steal my joke, man. All right, so you guys have anything you want to plug? We'll start with Jimmy. Anything you want to plug? Well, I find out the runners-up, Commissioner Gordon and... This is Glenn.

And who's the other one? Glenn. Glenn. They're going to get to call... I'll have to name somebody a shithead because they told me to. That's their runner-up prize. And, Jimmy, go ahead and say what you're doing. You're doing something this weekend?

I will be at the Rooster Teeth Feathers in Sunnyvale, California, Doug. There's four people that are going to make that trip. And, of course, the aforementioned Never Not Funny episode with Conan O'Brien is available for free. in Sunnyvale, California, Doug. There's four people that are going to make that trip. And of course, the aforementioned Never Not Funny episode with Conan O'Brien is available for free. Where's Glenn at?

Oh, okay. And Rob, you, Mike Detective, is always on the iTunes for people to listen to. I don't like to plug stuff, Doug. Please. Yeah, Mike Detective

is at Earwolf.com. Oh, you wrote it down. And yeah, watch Children's Hospital on Adult Swim. And Kevin, distributing and touring with your own movie, is that the deal?

Yeah, Red State. I don't imagine I have too many listeners or Twitter followers that aren't already listening to you and following you on Twitter, but if we caught a few ears with that, where does it go first? It starts at Radio City Music Hall on March

5th, and we end out here in Los Angeles April 9th at the Wiltern. Between those two dates, about 14 other dates across the country and all the usual cities, Chicago and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. Where do they go to look up the whole schedule? Coopersdell.com is the name

of the website. Awesome. Thank you so much for doing the show, everybody. Thanks for having me. We had an extra big turnout tonight because word got out you were going to be here. And Jimmy Pardo, of course, thank you. My pleasure. Rob Hubel.

Kevin Smith. And as always, Montel Williams is a shithead. And Pang is a shithead. And Pang is a shithead. Oh! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.