Doug Loves Movies - Kris Tinkle Vs. Philadelphia

Episode Date: June 22, 2013

Comedian Kris Tinkle plays The Leonard Maltin Game against audience members at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia, PA.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Loves Movies! at my stand-up show at Helium Comedy Club. Comedian Chris Tinkle played the Leonard Maltin game against audience members, and I'll play the audio of that in a minute. Did I mention I'm hungover? I made the mistake of drinking with Burt Kreischer last night, and I learned that I am not a machine. I'm going to go to his hotel room in a second and murder him.

No, I'm going to tape an episode of his podcast, The Burt Cast, which you can hear soon or now, depending on when you listen to this. I'm coming to New Orleans, Oklahoma City this week, and I'll be in Austin, Texas, July 4th weekend, and all of my dates are at douglasmovies.com. But right now, I hope you enjoy Chris Tinkle vs. Philly, Delphia. He living in Philly, are you ready to play the letter ball game? Let's take a gander in the prize bag. I always bring a prize bag. Some guy gave me a cool hat from 2010 Fitted by FlexFit. It fits any head, even my gigantic head. Check that out. Actually, if I didn't recently get a haircut, it might not fit.

So that's why I'm giving it away. So somebody's gonna win that And then we've also got A Doug Loves Goofy's t-shirt And a copy of Chris Tingle's CD, Almost Awesome And a copy of Smug Life My last CD Soon I'll be giving away my new CD

Gateway Doug. That's coming out on July 9th. And then also, oh, this is fun, a little Doug Loves Movies. This is from Bud Bongs, or Bong Buds. Buds with a Z. It's a, like you can wrap

this thing, it's magnetic, and you can wrap it around your bong and it can hold your lighter onto your bong yeah like that would work like someone still wouldn't just take it I dropped your CD like I don't even care about it

but CDs are droppable right? when did this CD drop? Just now? Just now? All right, Chris, you get to pick someone to play the Leonard Mulde game against from all these amazing name tags you're about to see. Probably not too many today because the name tags are going to show up tomorrow for the Douglas Movies taping, but there's the Mr. and Mrs. Smith poster back there that I've not only seen before, but

the person who has that particular name tag is great at this game. So if you don't feel like a super challenge, you may not want to. Somebody brought a fly swatter. Some guy's just waving. That's not really a name tag. And then Nick and Ashley, of course, are sitting up front.

This gentleman just brought a copy of one of my CDs, Hypocritical Oath. And he's just holding it up and shaking it, making it dance. What's that right there? What do you have? A book. A what?

A book. A book? A book? Like the book you just happened to be reading A what? A book. A book? Because like the book you just happened to be reading? You scribbled your name on it? Of course. Of course.

There's a gentleman back there holding up some sort of laminated thing. Oh, what's that big one up back there? A house with balloons on it. Oh, a house with balloons on it. What's your name? Randy. Randy. The dog in the movie is named Doug.

Yeah, the dog in the movie is named Doug. But, uh, it's a dog. It's a dog. It's a dog. It's a dog. It's a dog. It's a dog. It's a dog. It's a dog. It's a dog. It'soon Time. What's your name? Randy.

The dog in the movie is named Doug. Yeah, the dog in the movie is named Doug. Screw him! So, uh, that's my favorite. What do you think? Yeah, that one. Alright, get down here, Randy. I don't know if I'm saying this the right way, but we've played for you guys before in Naked Ashley, right? Last time.

Yeah, yeah. Did you win? I went. And I beat Crabby. And you won? I beat Crabby. Okay. All right.

Just killing time while Randy gets up here. Look at him. He's direct from... He's one of the ride operators in Pirates of the Caribbean. Still got his pirate shirt on. So he's standing right there next to Chris. Show everybody your beautiful name tag so they know what's going on. So your wife or girlfriend there? Girlfriend.

Girlfriend, yeah. Yeah, see the guy in Oak did that because he was a lonely old man. Like, if you're still getting laid, you don't really need to have your house blown away. Oh, wait, you said you were married. So, yeah, you do have to... Do you have one of those mattresses where you can jerk off from the other side of the room?

Just follow him. So, Chris, share your microphone with him so that we can hear what he has to say. Say hi to everybody, Randy. Hello, everybody. Nicely done. You don't have to give it up completely to him. Just do it interview style.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've done this before. I've done this before. Yeah, okay. So, Randy gets to pick a category. And this is just between Chris and Randy, you guys. The great Chris Tinkle, who was the last time you played. Did you beat the audience member?

Yes, I did. Good for you. All right, you get to pick a category. Randy, would you like, celebrating your birthday today, my friend Mary Lynn Ricecum, who, of course, played Chloe on 24. So the film is of Mary Lynn Ricecum. She's been in a few. Or, since I went to Hershey

Park yesterday, I thought I'd make a Hershey Park category. And that's movies with the word chocolate in the title. Narrows it down to very few. Or, another thing that narrows it down very much is In Theaters Now.

And that, of course, is movies that is in theaters now, and that of course is movies that are in theaters now, which one would you like to play, Randy? I'll go with the chocolate. Oh yeah! I'm gonna go with the chocolate. That's just something you say all the time, I'm sure. This might not be what you expected, Randy. Would you like a movie with the word chocolate in the title from 1988 or 2007?

Which year would you like? 88 or 2007? There's a lot of muttering in the crowd. People trying to figure it out. Don't say anything. Don't share. Don't share your words. Also 88.

88 he says. All right. Three stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie from 88. I think I liked it a little bit better. This is a movie I liked a great deal. It's also a movie that lots of people have not seen. He says that one of the actors in this movie is wonderfully wicked. He also says that the movie is chilling and impressive and well-directed by an actor who became a

director, and it was also adopted, adapted, this movie was adopted by people who love chocolate. It was adapted from a novel. So I gave you more clues than usual. Seven names listed by Leonard Bolton. How many names do you think you need, Randy, to discern the title of this film? I'll take the safe bet of seven. Safe, smart, secure. What are you going to do with that, Chris?

We're going to go two. Two names! Well, let me first of all congratulate Randy on winning the prize bag. Well, let's see if Randy has any strategy in mind that I might not be thinking of. What would you like to do with that, Randy? Name that movie. Name that movie, Chris. I believe that movie. Wait, you get two names. Do you want your two names?

Yes. Seth Rogen didn't want his two names when he was on. He just blurted out the correct answer. But when you hear these two names, we'll see where you're at. Doug Hutchinson? Oh! We'll see where you're at. Doug Hutchinson? Oh, yeah. Who I believe is the guy that's married to that crazy girl. Courtney Stodden, yeah. Doug Hutchinson married a 16-year-old,

so that's good for Dougs all over the world. And then your other name is Jenny Reich. Yeah, what do you think the movie is? The Chocolate War. That's correct! Holy crap! Nicely done. I'm sorry, Randy. I'm sorry I got your hopes up.

Now sit the fuck down. Oh, you got a CV anyway. That's a good plan. Yeah, that was a nice consolation prize. How did you know that? It was directed by Keith Gordon, who was the main guy, and Christine. I'm a film nerd too.

Yeah, he was in Christine and Dressed to Kill and Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield. That's right. That I referenced in my act earlier when I mentioned the triple Lindy. Wow, very well done. Yeah, the rest of the names were Adam, Baldwin, Bud Kaur, Wally Ward,

who is, Wally Ward was on Larry Sanders' show with Marilyn Ricecoat, and Ian Mitchell-Smith, who was the other kid in Weird Science, and John Glover, who is the actor who they call Wonderfully Wicked, who Leonard called Wonderfully Wicked. But if you've never seen The Chocolate War, check it out. It's actually a pretty good movie.

Yeah, it's good. Yeah. All right, pick another contestant. All right. Let's get somebody else up here. Let's go in the back right there. In the very back. They have a weird...

What is that, like a... It's probably just a piece of paper with a name on it. What are you holding? Is that a cow's name? It's a rancor. It's a rancor? It's a rancor? Okay, get that rancor up here.

Come on up. I hope this guy's name is Rancor? Okay, get that Rancor up here. Come on up. I hope this guy's name is Rancor. Rancor, of course, was the monster in, uh... In Eternity Jedi. God, that guy yelled it out like I wasn't gonna be able to come up with it. I'm not familiar with the Star Wars films. Gonna check those out sometime. Oh, and your name's Dan? Yeah. So you wrote Dan-core on it.

That's adorable. I want to pet that ugly monster. Now let me touch the thing you're holding. All right, Dan-core. You get to pick a category from these options that I'm pulling up on my app right now. Yeah, just go ahead and put it on the ground. It's not going to go and attack anyone. Because it looks like it works.

You put batteries in it and it crawls around? No, it just does this. Oh, it just does that? It's from 1983. It's from 83, yeah, before what? What does that even mean? There were no batteries before 83 alright

pick a category Dan Corr would you like um I'm gonna get some good ones for you would you like Glenn So Close

and that's movies where Glenn Close was nominated for an Oscar but did not win? Or someone named At, Reaper Matt At, Matt At, A-T-T, like At-At from Emperor's First Time. I was going to bring that. You were going to bring an At-At, but you went with a Rancor? Yeah. Because Dan At-At doesn't make any sense.

He suggested movies with a narrator. Greatest Movie Ever Told is a category name. And he did that in the wrong order. I hope Alex Trebek, I hope they find someone to replace him when he dies. It's not me. Or, this is a popular one on the podcast, Mean Laquifa suggested Hook a Brother Up. I heard recently that Mean Laquifa is a reference

from Harold and Kumar Part 2, I think. But anyway, it's still a great Twitter name. Hook a brother up, and that's movies where black people go fishing. You know what? There's no movies where that happens.

How about... How about, yeah, just go on fishing is the only one, really. Eat a duck suggested chicks with dicks, and that's Richard Gere rom-coms. Chicks with dick. The one before the fishing one.

The one before the fishing one was the narrator one. You want to do that one? You want to do that one? Okay. It's an exciting category. A woman in the audience is going, what? Like she's narrating this. 2005 is the year. Three stars from Leonard Bolton.

This is going to be an interesting battle, because he calls this movie entertaining. He also calls it French. Yeah, and he also says, stay through the end credits to get an idea of the conditions the filmmakers faced. And here's the weird part. Leonard lists one name. So your options, Dan Corr, are I can name it one name, I can name it zero names, or I can name it negative one names.

I wanted to play this category when Sam Levine was on, because he would have a fit. Then you can't go more than one negative name. But instead, you're stuck with it. Well, I only know one French movie, so I might as well go negative one. You still have negative one. So it is Chris with no option but to say name that movie. Name that movie. So you have to name it and the one name.

Is it Amelie with Audrey Tattoo? Amelie had a bunch of other options. Why don't we just list her name? Like he's fixated on her or something? That's the only French movie that I know. All right, well, we're out of time anyway, so you win the prizes. I was so excited that you were almost going to get that.

Do you have any idea of this? I have no idea. Yeah, it's, uh, the movie's called March of the Penguins. And, of course, it was narrated by God, I mean Morgan Freeman. Thank you, Dan, for playing. Pick up your prize bag. You and that ugly monster go back to your seats. Victory through failure is the best.

And thanks, Chris Tinkle. Chris Tinkle, everybody. And as always... Oh, where's Randy? Right here. Give me a shithead to say. General Zod. As always, General Zod is a shithead.

Enjoy that, nerds.