Doug Loves Movies - Kumail Nanjiani, Eli Roth, and Lorenza Izzo Guest

Episode Date: September 2, 2014

Doug welcomes comedian Kumail Nanjiani, filmmaker Eli Roth, and actress Lorenza Izzo to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, greedy babies, sticky seats with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies! Coming to you from the UCB Theater in LA on Tuesday, September 2, 2014. Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2. Judgment Day of the Dead Men Walking Tall.

The President's Men in Blackf Black Fisher King Ralph Dog Day Afternoon Delightfully Perfect Murder by Death Wish Three of Me Ghosts World's End of Watch Mendo Leaving Las Vegas Food La Jingle All the Wades World's Fastest Indiana Jones and the Temple of Dooms Days of Thunder Bolt and

Lightfoot Yeah Thank you Seattle of Thunderbolt and Lightfoot. Yeah. Thank you, Seattle. I had a bumper blast at Bumbershoot, as always. And that episode that we did there is available for people to listen to now, featuring the return of Werner Herzog. And yeah, I'll try to schedule another

of Doug Lowe's movies in the seattle area soon vegas saturday 4 20 douglows movies comes to the plaza theater in the plaza hotel downtown hope to see you guys there uh let's look in the prize bag we got the usual suspects we got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. We've got a Gateway Doug 2 Forced Fun CD. We've got... What are the odd things that are in here? Oh, this is a fancy lighter that someone made for me on the road that they gave me. And I should give them more credit than that. But I like it.

A couple of Pops hot dogs, of course. Gotta have some Pops. And then, oh, this is neat. This is really neat. A Roku streaming stick. Yeah, Roku. I talk about it all the time. It's one of the things that you can use

to access Hulu Plus stuff. And there it is. And I'll talk about the rest of this stuff when we get these guests out here. There's four chairs, but one guest I'm pretty sure is not going to be here at all because that guest just texted me

that they thought the show was at 7.30 and that's when they would get here. And I wrote back, don't bother. Because we have to start the Leonard Maltin game before 7.30. And then if he just walks in in the middle of the Leonard Maltin game, then what's he going to do? Then it's just a guy sitting around watching us play Leonard Maltin.

I hope you all agree with my decision. And I hope to have him on soon. But maybe he'll just show up anyway. I don't know what the fuck's going to happen. But please give a big warm welcome to the three folks that are here. Let's hear it for Lorenza Iso, Eli Roth, and Kumail Nanjiani. You might as well sit one over there.

Leave this one open. Just sit it where you want. Take those ones over there. Leave this one open. Just any way you want. Take those ones down there. There you go. I'm here. This was really worked out weirdly because I was telling Kumail not to sit here where you are now, Eli,

because all my stuff is here in front of you. But the fourth guest that might not will probably not show up now that I said don't bother let me look at my phone again see what he's doing this is a scintillating podcast talking about specific seating

and then well yeah you guys talked about the seating when you came out here I didn't bring it up but let's welcome Kumail Nanjiani, everybody, to the show. Hello. Hello. You won a few weeks ago, but then couldn't come back the next week.

Yeah, I'm sorry. So I've been waiting for the opportunity to get you in here, and now here we are. And Silicon Valley, when's it come back? April. I mean, we haven't even started shooting. When does that happen? Next month. Do you have a date?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We start shooting next month. They've been writing it. Big surprises are in store. Oh, really? Did they strangely start killing people off or something? Well, it's weird that you say that that because one of the actors did pass away. Way to go, Doug.

Yeah, what the fuck, dude? So yeah, I guess we did kill him off. So weirdly, you did hit upon a very major plot point. That has already happened. I was talking about the next season whimsically. Cause you're not going to kill anybody off on purpose. I know I'm just being a dick. No,

cause we win the contest at the end of the first one. So the fallout from that is like pretty, pretty big. It's very different. The next season is very different from the first season and I'm excited. And then you're still hilarious with all you guys on it. Yeah. Yeah.

It'll be very funny. Yeah. A lot of Doug loves with all you guys on it. Yeah, it'll be very funny. A lot of Doug Loves Movies regulars on there. I got the text back from the gentleman who, should I say who it is? Yeah. Yes, yes. It's, I want to say a joke answer, but I'm just going to tell you. It's Neil Brennan was going to come by.

Yeah, the great Neil Brennan, who it turns out, and by the way, Eli Roth is here, you guys. Thank you. Hi, everybody. Back after an awesome first appearance on the show. And you told me that you and Neil were roommates at one time. I was.

When I moved to the fair city of Los Angeles, he had a roommate named Dave Chappelle who moved out. So he moved into Dave's room. It was like a two-bedroom place on La Brea. And I moved in, and there were just, like, giant shoes everywhere. To me, they looked like clown shoes, but those were Chappelle's shoes. He has literally big shoes. Literally, thank you. Big shoes to fill.

So Neil was my roommate, and then he sold a movie called Half-Baked and said, buy, I'm buying an apartment in Manhattan. No, he sold the pitch to mtv and was like okay i have money now i'm leaving and then his brother danny moved in and that's the most exciting neil brendan story i have everybody isn't it great don't you love it but this would have been like a 1409 north alta vista reunion right here on doug loves movies um but we'll just you know go out and light a candle there and leave our trash and old furniture on the street as we used to do will you know go out and light a candle there and leave our trash and old furniture on the street as we used to do

will you guys go ahead I was just gonna say if you win the Leonard Ball game today maybe you come back next week cause that's what it sounds like

he's committing to next week and we'll probably start his commute across town earlier time cause when I said you know

don't bother coming tonight you know he wrote back understood and very sorry. I had a gift and everything. Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

People think they really went above and beyond by doing the one thing that I ask you to do is bring any piece of shit item from anywhere and put it in the bag. He deserves praise for having one. He did everything except show up arguably the most important Lorenza Izzo is that right? Lorenza Izzo is here

star of a movie that I just saw up at the Portland Film Festival called Sex Ed and it's a very entertaining comedy with Haley Joel Osment as a young man struggling in the world. He just wants to teach children sex ed and lose his virginity.

Weirdly, that's a weird concept. I know, right? It's like, I want to teach them how to fuck and also I want to fuck. Yeah. This could end very poorly. No, he's like one of them in some ways.

Yeah, hopefully you don't want to hit both those goals on the same day. Yeah. It's a very sweet virgin teaching virgins about losing their virginity.

Yeah. And then you come along all hot and fancy and he gets excited and he throws his hat in the ring. He learns how to use a condom. He goes for it. He's like a virgin in his 20s, and she's the one that he thinks is going to help him to make it happen.

Yeah, that's like, I've never touched a bat, but I'm going to play for the Yankees. Well, what happens? Does he touch your bat? Wait, thatality falls apart. No spoilers, no spoilers. Are you a teacher in the school? No. You're just...

I'm a DJ. You're a DJ? Yeah, she plays a DJ in the film whose younger brother is a student in the school and is a big fan of the teacher because he's so good with the kids and teaches them all the sex things they want to know about. It's a really dirty movie

with children in it. It's kind of amazing. That sounds awesome. Yeah, it's like I saw it and I didn't know anything about it other than Lorentha had a make-out scene with Haley Joel Osment, which I wanted to see. And then there were like 12-year-old kids. There's only two people who want to see that. You and Haley Joel Osment. That I wanted to see. And then there were like 12-year-old kids.

There's only two people who want to see that. You and Haley Joel Osment. That's true. We're a good audience for it. And dead people. Dead people. I actually was really surprised. I see hot people.

And there were like scenes of 12-year-old kids talking about anal. It was very funny. They were great. Yeah, there's a scene where kids, they go through the room pulling questions out of a hat and the questions are all like, what's a blumpkin?

And it's and Hilly Jalos was just like, that's inappropriate. Next question. And he gets flustered. To be clear, blumpkin is when you're pooping and getting a blowjob, right? Is that what a blumpkin is? I only ask because I truly want to know.

What's a strawberry short cheesecake? What's a strawberry short cheesecake? No, cheesecake. Strawberry cheesecake? Strawberry milkshake. That, yeah.

When you come on a girl's face and punch her in the nose and the blood runs out? Why do you ask? I like how you say when you. You know how when you do that?

On the occasion when. Yeah. You know, that really normal thing. You come on her face and then punch her. It's a very sweet film. It's a very sweet film. Let me help you get that cum off your face. Just punch. No, it has very sweet moments.

There's a part when a 13-year-old girl, or like, no, way younger, she gets her period, and Haley teaches her how to put on a tampon. I thought it was very sweet. It is super, super sweet. You guys won Best Film. Yeah, we actually got Best Narrative Feature at the film festival. Oh, wow.

How do we see this movie? It's going to be out on November 7th in like 10 select cities and also VOD. I bet this is one of them, right? It's going to be out. It's got to be LA, right? Yes, it will be out. I hope so. It'll probably be over at the Sundance or maybe the

Arclight. But you guys were going to initially come on here. I was excited to have you because you have a motion picture. You even brought some posters for it. We had a poster. We had a trailer. We have a poster that is now defunct, I guess. You would have been able to see Lorenza in

The Green Inferno next week. As you can see, we crossed out the release date, September 5th. Oh, that's you. I've seen that poster. It's awesome. I didn't realize it was you. That is Lorenza screaming. Yeah, they pulled it.

And the release got entirely, completely fucked up for reasons that have nothing to do with the movie. It was a disagreement with the distributor and the financier who agreed to split advertising money. And there were problems. And now we're all figuring out sort of where the movie's going to go and what's going to happen. I was excited about it. I have a friend who's a critic Devin Farachi. Yes, of course. He was telling me that it's really awesome.

Yeah, Devin liked it. No, it's fine. I mean, the movie's really, really fucked up and very sick and we shot it in the Amazon. You made a fucked up movie? I know, it's weird. We filmed in a village. It's very different. We filmed in a village with children, speaking of corrupting children, they had never seen a fucked up movie. It's like a little change of pace for you. I know, it's weird. We filmed in a village. It's very different. We filmed in a village with children, speaking of corrupting children, they had never seen a motion picture before.

We were in the Amazon, and they didn't know what movies were or ice cubes, and so the producers went... Those are the two things that they didn't know. Wow, if only you'd been shooting a movie with ice cube, you could have really educated them. If we had, dare to dream. Baby steps.

They didn't know anything and you guys were like hey they were like we're gonna do this thing where you pretend to be other people it's called

there's a television and let me just show you an example and the producers they're like they called me they were so excited they're like

we went to the village and we showed them a movie and they said yes we can film it I'm like great what did you show them Wizard of Oz, E.T. and they said

Cannibal Holocaust and I was like are you serious and they're like no? Wizard of Oz, E.T.? And they said, Cannibal Holocaust. And I was like, are you serious? And they're like, no, no, no, here's the good news, they thought it was a comedy. So there are four-year-old children

in Cayenne Yaku, Peru, who if you ask them, what is a movie? They're like, oh, that's where you paint yourself red and you chop up someone's dick and eat it.

And then the movie you made with them, probably, also has some gruesome stuff in it. There was a lot of gruesome stuff. But everybody got into it. The kids, everybody wanted to pluck the eyeballs and play with the

decap the first time we were shooting we k and b effects who did all the gore in my films done all the tarantino's movies and walking dead we set up the village to be like colonel kurtz's village with like heads on spikes and you can see a trailer with lorenza they're these american activists that go to save the amazon and they plane crashes and the people they save are like, fuck you, and dart them and start eating them. So we're shooting the scene where the kids are brought to the village

and they're all tied up in boats on canoes and we're in the Amazon and I'm feeling like John Huston and like, I'm like, yes, we're gonna, I got my machete

and we're like gonna yell action and we have heads on spikes and dead bodies and a hundred villagers coming over the hill to grab the Americans. And just as we're about to start shooting,

I hear this music playing. And they're singing songs about Jesus. And it was two boats full of Christian missionaries. Oh, so for real? With like giant speakers in the middle of fucking nowhere.

What a fucking asshole. They were from Texas. And they pulled up and they see the heads on the spikes and Lorenzo tied up and the natives with the and they were like, the devil is here. The devil is here. And they're like, no, it's not the devil. It's, you know, Jesus Christ bastards.

Yeah, which was even worse. It was way worse. They were so pissed off. Way worse. So we had to, so the villagers had to go and tell the Christian missionaries to go and fuck off and come back in a few weeks. So wait, Christian missionaries are just driving on boats with Christian music playing. And they think that's what's going to... Like these people are hanging out like, oh, we should probably listen to what those assholes have to say.

Well, pretty much, yeah. Wow. So the people you were kind of making fun of actually showed up while you were filming. It gave us a great idea for the sequel. I mean, we were just like, exactly, like we could have chopped them up.

It was unbelievable. We thought about it. No, Peru was a crazy place. We could have chopped a lot of things up. No one would have known. Yeah. We kind of did get chopped.

It's like the purge all the time down there. It was insane. I mean, it's like the purge. I mean, it's like the purge all the time down there it was it was insane I mean yeah it's like the purge yeah it's like the purge without houses or clothes

and walls and gates and clothes okay so this village how much what is it like the village you go to the village

I was scouting on location and they said this is where Werner Herzog filmed A Gear of the Wrath of God and I said okay I want to go farther just to be like

I went farther than Herzog so we're going up and I see and the guy says we have to turn around said, okay, I want to go farther, just to be like, I went farther than her. So we're going up, and I see, and the guy says, we have to turn around because it's absolute jungle, and we're going to just run out of gas and really get stuck. So we turn around, and I see this grass, like a grass hut.

And I said, what is that? And they said, that's a village. And I pull up, and there's a little girl washing clothes, and I'm like the first white or whitest dude she's ever seen. And we pull up, and the Peruvian producers were with Get Out and talk to them. And some woman comes, and the Peruvian producers were with, get out and talk to them. And some woman comes out.

They live in straw huts and sleep in hammocks. So you're literally just going up to random villages. I literally went up the river, and we walked in, and I was like, this looks perfect. We don't have to do much set dressing. I said, can we shoot here? And that's when they said we'd have to conceptually explain what a movie is. And they voted. The whole village had

to vote on whether or not we should do it. And the way we were going to pay them was give them a boat and then give them roofs for the houses. And it was amazing. Our production designer from Santiago, Chile went there and in the art director, they lived in the village

for like three weeks getting it ready. And right before they were going to leave, when it was ready for the crew to come in and film, the village was like, we have a gift for you. And she's like, what? And they brought out a baby. And she's like, wait, what is this? And they the village was like we have a gift for you and she's like what and they brought out a baby and she's like wait what is this and they're like here have a baby and she's like what the fuck am i gonna do with a peruvian baby and she was like and and

she's like you know i i actually i live in santiago with my boyfriend like i can't just take a baby and we had to reject the baby without Was the mom really sad? No, the mom was like, yeah, they were sad that she didn't get to give away the baby. That was like, yeah, that was all. So we were worried that we were going to offend them by not. So at the end, we're shooting. We're like, are we going to have to take a baby at the end of this? Like, you know, who's going to rock

paper scissors for the baby? Not it. Not it. But there was also a thing. That's like their standard gift. Yeah. Great housewarming. Here's the baby to go with it. But there was also a thing... Wait, that's like their standard gift? Yeah. Great housewarming. Here's the baby to go with it. Yeah. No, it was.

Lorenzo remembers. Was it a cute baby? Or was it like a shitty baby? They also had mini... No. There were some shitty babies there, to be fair. But it was a cute baby. They had mini pigs. Like little mini pigs all over.

They had mini pigs? Yeah, they were adorable. They were baby pigs. I know, but they over. Did they have mini pigs? Yeah, they were adorable. They were baby pigs. I know, but they were cute. So you were okay? You wanted the mini pig, not the mini human? I know, they offered a baby. I wanted a mini pig. Yeah. She's getting picky. She's like, well, can I have the mini pig?

This sounds like a good discussion for the X-Files files. Yeah, nice segue, bro. Kumail's show. Yeah. No, I just wanted to. Kumail's show. Yeah. No, I just wanted to get into, I still got to talk about all this stuff that you guys brought for the prize bag. Oh.

Yeah. Eli brought a copy of Aftershock with you. Is that where the two of you met on this movie? Yeah. Yeah, I put it together. Figured it out. And then you also brought the score for Cabot Fever and the score for The Man with the Iron Fist

and then the Blu-ray plus DVD of The Last Exorcism. So all of that is in the bag. Yeah, the aftershock can go in the Lorenzo bag to divvy it up with the poster. That's from her? Yes. Wait, were you involved with The Last Exorcism? I was.

I was the producer. I really, that's a great movie. Why, thank you very much. It is. I gotta say. There's a great, there's a scene in that movie

and it's a great workout tape. Yes. Right? That thing, yeah, yeah. It's a good stretch. It's a really good stretch. She had to have surgery after that scene.

Didn't she like break her back? Yeah, it was bad. And then she was in the sequel too, right? Yeah. Yeah. We had to take it easy on the back bending. Yeah, it was bad. And then she was in the sequel too, right? Yeah. We had to take it easy with the back bending.

It was bad. Broken back. Kumail brought three every week over at the comic book store Meltdown on Sunset. They do a stand-up show with Jonah Ray and Kumail

and then it became a series for Comedy Central. But they always make a really great... Who are the artists that do these? They make these great posters for each episode. Dave Klock is the artist, and he does every episode. He does them all. Yeah, he does them all.

How many now? I mean... A few hundred, right? Yeah, it's a lot of them. We've been doing it four years, so we have a couple hundred posters. So yeah, so somebody tonight gets some of these posters and then the series, the TV series Meltdown with Jonah and Kamal is on every

Wednesday night at 12.30am, so Thursday morning on Comedy Central. And tomorrow night's episode is the one that I did. It's you and Jim Gaffigan and Rob Hubel, Paul Scheer. Rory Scovel. It's all Douglass Movies guests. Well, Eric Andre's been on Getting Doug with High.

Yeah. He hasn't been on this show because I need my guests to sit still. And not get naked. Keep their clothes on. Yeah. Yeah, nobody's ever taken their dick out on this show, and I'm kind of proud of it. It's pretty awesome. That could all change tonight.

That's you, buddy. This is it. You never know. That's an invitation. All of you. So, yeah. So, That's you, buddy. This is it. You never know. That's an invitation. All of you. So, yeah. So, let's talk about movies. Oh, okay.

I just said the worst phrase I've ever said in my entire life. One for Ninja Turtles. I went last week all alone on my own and saw Ninja Turtles at a tiny town in Oregon on my own and it was me and two kids who were talking the entire time. And I couldn't shush him. I can't be a grown man in my 30s shushing the demo for the movie.

Like, hey, 14-year-olds, shut up. I'm trying to really take in this movie. You saw it too, right? I saw it in, thank you for outing me, as having seen I saw it in thank you for outing me as having seen I saw it in Chile where it was under the title Tortuga Ninja

I didn't see it so I felt like it was a little more artsy I was like I didn't see Ninja Turtles I saw Tortuga Ninja does it still have Megan Fox as a news reporter

it did but it had the thing where the brightness was so dark that I had to I like had to take off the 3D glasses to see it at the proper f-stop level. So I feel like I watched it drunk.

Oh, you saw it like double... What did you think of it? I enjoyed it. I did too? It's not bad. It's not bad. Not bad. So you are the demographic for that movie. Turns out.

And not those Statler and Waldorf kids that were talking the whole time. Talking. What was cool was in the beginning they were doing loud bits, making fun of the movie. Then about a half an hour in, they really got into it.

They locked in. So they were just discussing how great it is. Yeah, and they were just gasping and stuff after that. It is one of those movies. I don't want to spoil it because there's Ninja Turtles in it. That's one spoiler. But it is one of the movies where they really just decided to completely forego the plot. And there's just a bad guy who's just going to do something so completely insane.

And they just have a moment where they're like, why are you doing that? He's like, to get rich. But he's also already the richest, most powerful billionaire in New York City. And they're like, why are you doing that? He's like, to get rich! But he's also already the richest most powerful billionaire in New York City. And they're like, but you're already a billionaire. He's like, I want to get richer! Keep going with the movie. Action! Ninja Turtles! Look! And you're just one of these things where you're like,

oh yeah, there's no point in any of this. There's a lot of those. Did you ever see Hard Bodies? Hard Bodies is a masterpiece. Hard Bodies does something great. The skin flick? Yeah, Hard Bodies is one of the, does something very. The, like, skin flick? Yeah, the skin flick. The Skinamax movie.

Yeah, I think I saw that. They do something quite brilliant in that movie where the three, you know, Scotty Palmer, who has to teach the old guys how to pick up girls. They do something structurally bold and brilliant. Really not since Wes Anderson reinvented the five-act structure with Rushmore do they do this. Where in the final scene of the movie... There's so much information. In the final scene...

No, it's just like... In like one sentence, he condenses everything. In the last scene of the movie, the girl who you didn't know, like the love interest goes, you know, I think maybe next year I'm going to go to college locally

so we can be together. And it's like there's been no indication whatsoever that she was ever going to go to college or that she was going to go, but they actually set up and he's like, and then they run into the sunset they set up the main conflict of the movie and resolve it in two sentences and then cut to the credits it's brilliant it's such a bold structural reinvention of conventional modern cinema that i'm surprised that i've really the last movie the only movie that I saw that really did it,

that brave was Michael Bay and the Ninja Turtles movie. They just sort of, in the last minute, give me the plot and the resolution and then the movie continues.

All right. So are you saying we should just sneak in when there's only a minute left? No, see the whole movie. The whole thing is just fun.

It's about the journey. Did you guys like the new Godzilla? Yes. Okay, since now we're building a case against your opinions in general. Okay, I will say, I would watch Ninja Turtles again before I would watch the new Godzilla again.

Okay. Because it's got ninja... It's got fucking Ninja Turtles in it. I realized I love Ninja Turtles so much that that's going to carry a movie for me. His entire plot, to explain to you what Shredder's big plan is, it's not Shredder, it's William Fichtner's big plan is

he's going to release this poison gas and he's got like a Trump Tower thing and it's already got a gas-releasing spire on it. And he doesn't have the gas yet, but for years he's like, someday I'm going to get the fucking gas and put this thing to use. Be ready to go, yeah. So his whole plan is he's like, someday I'm going to get the fucking gas and put this thing to use. Be ready to go, yeah. So his whole plan

is he's going to release this. Like Tesla with his Wardenclyffe tower with no electricity. Yeah, exactly. His plan is he's going to release this pink poison gas and then come in as a savior and have the medicine for people. Except you're going to be like, clearly it was you that released it. We saw the fucking gas coming out of your spire.

So there's a lot of holes, but it is pretty brilliant. But Megan Fox is great in it. Why is it? This is what I don't like about it. Why is it Megan Fox's movie? It's her story. The Ninja Turtles are like sort of side characters. I heard there's like a 20 minute stretch where you don't see the turtles.

The first 20 minutes, there's no turtles in it. It's just Megan Fox reporting the news. And the whole plot point is that she's reporting shitty news. So the first 20 minutes is just her reporting boring news. And then the Ninja Turtles show up. Yeah, and you loved it.

I didn't say I loved it. So skip the first 20 minutes then. I just don't know what you're trying to tell us. Go see the movie. Just see it. The Ninja Turtles. Two thumbs up. I was shocked at how much I liked it.

Lorenza, have you been to the movies lately? Yeah, I went to a Capitan and I saw Frozen sing along with my three-year-old niece and family. Does everybody sing along? Oh my godyear-old niece. And does everybody sing along? Oh my god, I was covered in

Let it go! I was covered in spit and tears and like in a lot of fluids. It was amazing though. I cried the whole time. They showed this like short before called... Eli sat that one out, I guess. He went and he cried.

Oh no. He cried. My allergies. I don't know if you guys remember that. He was falling. It's that one out, I guess. He went and he cried. Oh, no. He cried. My allergies. I don't know if you guys He was falling. It's so emotional. Whenever I see Frozen, my allergies act up. You guys know.

My allergies. No, no, no. They spray this fake snow and I was like, wow, it's really, my allergies. It goes right into your eyes. It's a princess.

It's a woman going for her, I mean a girl going for herself. It's a really good movie. Like, it really, you know, it transcends Disney. Yeah, it definitely spoke to people and Disney did a great job

when it first came out of hiding the fact that it was about princesses. They mostly showed the snowman. Have you seen this movie? All the little boys wanted to see it.

Frozen? Yeah. Yeah. It's great. Yeah. My favorite part was when... Yeah, it's great for children. And children at heart.

Of all ages. I mean, we're talking about Ninja Turtles and Godzilla, so I think it goes pretty well. No, those three I will watch Frozen a million times before I'll watch Godzilla a second time. But I'll see Ninja Turtles. Now you guys got me hooked in. Really?

My favorite part. Yeah, they talked me into it. My favorite part of Frozen was when my three-year-old niece looked at the movie screen. It was her first time in theater. And she goes, look, a giant computer. Whoa. And the kids were...

She thought it was a big iPad? It was a giant iPad. By the way, it was her first time going to a movie theater. And she was trying to move to the next scene, like fucking Tom Cruise in Minority Report. Yeah. I know. Wow, look, a giant computer. That's what it's come to.

Nice. And so you saw Frozen and Ninja Turtles. Anything else that we should mention before we move on to the next part? Other than being forced at gunpoint to sit through Amores Perros, no. Wait. I made him watch Amores Perros by Iñárritu.

You guys say it different. Well, Iñárritu's got that amazing looking Birdman movie coming out. But all of his movies prior to Birdman, let's be honest, they're fucking heavy. We're Bergman more than Birdman. What? They're a little more Bergman than Birdman.

Yes. Fraud insurance, fraud insurance. That is the best Iñárritu-Bergman joke of all time. You fucking nailed fraud insurance. Frog insurance. That is the best Inia Redu Bergman joke of all time. You fucking nailed it. Thank you very much. Wow. A joke for four people.

And here ends the podcast. Now he's finally with Birdman. He's made a comedy. Did you see Babel? I loved it. It's brutal. I watched Without Warning, which you wouldn't sit through. Without I loved it. It's brutal, that movie. It's so brutal. It's so brutal. I watched Without Warning,

which you wouldn't sit through. Without Warning, it's a 1980s slasher film with Martin Landau and Jack Palance about... I guess you could describe the alien... The movies he watches are unwatchable. ...as like a fried egg that attacks people.

With an alien, it's man in suit, and the girl tries to blow up the... But David Caruso's in it. He's a great death very early on. If you're David, if you're a fan of NYPD Blue... Right in the beginning, it was not a selling point. And then you said he dies right away. I was like, I could see that.

I think Rambo kills David Caruso in First Blood. I know David Caruso's in it, but I think he maybe even gets killed by Rambo. Oh, wow. David Caruso was in a bunch of shit before the whole CSI thing. Yeah. It's not CSI, NY. Yeah. David Caruso was in a bunch of shit before the whole CSI thing. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not CSI, NYPD Blue. He went NYPD Blue to like seven or eight failed movies and then back to TV. He was in a sex movie. And who knows what he's doing now. What was his sex movie? Jade? Yeah, Jade. Yeah, yeah.

It was directed by Friedkin, I think. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I think we have hit a wall. We hit the wall. It's time to move on. The wall of Caruso. Let the games begin! Let the games begin! Gentlemen and lady,

choose your name tags from these things that people are holding up in the audience. I have no idea how this game works. Just go grab a name tag, though, for now. Anything that speaks to you. Anything that, you know, you think somebody put a lot of work into.

You want this one? There you go. That was easy. And while Eli picks a name tag, we'll do this commercial message. We'll be right back. And we're back! Who are you playing for, Kumail?

I'm playing for Fifty Shades of Greg. And he's so excited. That's why I picked it, because it's literally the shittiest name tag in here. If you see, he took a sheet of printer paper, folded it after he wrote on it in terrible handwriting. He looked so proud. It was like when Michelangelo finished his David.

He was not happier than Greg was. About 50 shades of Greg. I mean, look at it. All right. Lorenzo, tell us about your name tag, Lorenzo. And there might be a shithead written on the back, so don't read that out loud. Don't say that.

Okay. Well, Xandermen. Did I say that right? Yes. Xandermen, Doug's of future past. It's got a really cute drawing of you with a heart and a camera. Yeah, that's the logo of the show. I'm glad you think it's really cute.

It's really cute. And I really see a stroke of... a really good stroke. Let's face it. These are the three best name tags in a group of about ten shitty name tags. I don't know what's going on in Los Angeles.

There was a lot of effort in putting it out there. I mean, at least your guy didn't fold it. My guy... He's folded it up and put it in his pocket. He had the waiting line outside. Mine is way better than yours. Yeah, he put it in his wallet. Look how much he folded it.

There is a theme with the blue and red today, though. Taylor. Yeah, hold that up for me over here. A City of Los Angeles parking ticket. Yeah. So I wonder when it gets actually mailed into the City of Los Angeles, it will say shithead. Oh, don't read the back.

Don't read the back. No, he just read the shithead part. I'm not reading the shithead part, but it actually has shithead with an arrow on the address part. So he's going to get another ticket for this. Tickets for language. That's probably what's going to happen. To determine who goes first today in the Leonard Maltin game,

we're going to do some lines with Mark. How are you guys doing? Do you want to do some lines? He's pre-recorded today because he was busy not going to his brother's wedding this weekend. He blew that off and couldn't be here. Donnie's getting married? Donnie got married to Jenny over the weekend and Mark did not attend. Oh, I didn't know that.

He sent a video, Best Wishes. Wow. Yeah, because, you know, it's Saturday. He's got stuff to do. Saturday. He's got to run Wahlburgers. That's the thing I can't believe we actually have in our lives.

That's a real thing that's happening, by the way. This is the only universe out of all the parallel universes where Wahlburgers is real.

Wahlburgers. They have a burger store. No, it's amazing. Have you been there? No, but have you seen the show? No. It's a show

about a burger place. It's awesome. It's good? It's good? It's like the three brothers and one of them isn't that cute and he's managing the whole thing and his two older brothers sort of take care of him.

Yeah. But he gets really mad that it's not working out for him as well. I like that on the billboard they're all wearing a shirt that says I'm mommy's favorite. We all know it's Mark, right? There is no way anybody other than Mark Wahl I'm Mommy's favorite. We all know it's Mark, right? Oh, the mom?

There is no way anybody other than Mark Wahlberg is Mommy's favorite. I know, it's really sad. First person to guess the name of this movie, Mark Wahlberg's going to say a line from a classic motion picture, and you guys just yell it out as soon as you know it, and then you'll be the winner if you get it right.

Alright guys, you ready? Here we go. Let's do some lines. Here. I cannot self-terminate. You must lower me into the steel. Terminator 2 Judgment Day. That's correct. That is correct. Some of

them are pretty easy. I said, just do a line from Inglourious Bastards. That'll be funny. And he said he did that the last time you were here. Yeah. Yeah. So there's my memory for you. But that means Kumail gets to go first.

And then we'll go to Eli. So Lorenza has a little bit of a beat there to try to figure out what's happening and play along. But you know, you got a good plug in for Sex Ed. November 7th yeah yeah you guys are gonna check it out right Haley Joel Osment

making out with her seriously I gotta say the last time I shushed people at a movie theater was Cabin Fever and it was two old ladies

who were in there who'd come into the wrong movie or something and they were talking the whole time and I was like hey shut up and I felt so bad hey, shut up.

And I felt so bad that I haven't shushed anybody in a movie theater since. But did they run out screaming? How were they doing the leg shaving and the fingering scene? I was sitting behind them, but in retrospect, I really should have walked up and just looked like, huh, yeah? You like the fingering? You should have just gone over and put your hand on her knee. Gingerly. That wouldn't have worked out very well, I don't think.

Serena Vincent, that's her name? Yes, Serena. I think of her once a week. Fondly. I will tweet her as much. Don't! Don't tell her. Yeah, don't tell her. She'll never know. She'll never know.

Yeah, she'll never know. What's your relationship like with Ryder Strong? Are you still buddies with that guy? Yeah, I see Ryder every now and then. I love Ryder. He's a married man. I make a couple Boy Meets World references and jokes. He was great.

Off to the races. They're actually shooting, they're doing in Portland a reboot of Cabin Fever. So I've been talking to all those guys. Someone decided, can we just reshoot the movie with your exact script, which I wrote when I was 22. Is it like an Indiana Jones kind of thing where it's the kids doing it? Yeah, it's not kids that are reshooting it on video, although I have that VHS tape. The kids who reshot Raiders shot for shot.

But no, they're actually just reshooting the movie basically completely rebooting it who was the guy Gus Van Zandt sort of a Gus Van Zandt yeah I like that it was shot for shot remake plus one masturbation scene

plus the masturbation scene I said they could only do it if they added a masturbation yeah well you already have no the director's very excited about it and he's got a lot of good ideas

so yeah I do talk to Ryder yeah the good idea is making your movie he just took a lot of good ideas. So yeah, I do talk to Ryder. Yeah, the good idea is making your movie. He just took all your ideas, right? Well, I mean,

yeah, but they're good ideas. So let's see what he does with them. I'd see that. It's an interesting idea. Like they, you know.

I'd see it as restaging a play. They change all the wrong things when they remake stuff generally. Right. I mean,

they make Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles about April O'Neil. Yeah, They change all the wrong things when they remake stuff, generally. Right. I mean, they... Like they make Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles about April O'Neil. Yeah. That was a huge misstep. Fuck. Yeah. All right, let's play the game. But, oh, yeah, I was going to say, I've been in touch with Ryder about possibly being on

the show sometime, and I would have... Is that his real name? What does his mother call him? Ryder. His name is Ryder. And his last name is Strong? Yeah, and, you know, on the storm is his Twitter name, all that, yeah. Okay.

There's even a Ryder in all of his contracts that say you have to call him that. His girlfriend's been with him forever. She's a Ryder, too. Trying to continue the Ryder pun theme. Didn't work. I thought it was a strong pun thanks everybody thank you thank you Kumail, you get to pick a category

would you like at Dan C 1110 that's a catchy twitter handle he suggested Indigo Girls and that's movies that have blue women in them women that are blue colored, and that's movies that have blue women in them. Women that are blue-colored. Movies with that. I wanted that.

At Max P. Wilson suggested Superbad, and that's superhero movies that Leonard gave two stars or less. So bad superhero movies, according to Leonard. And then celebrating your birthday today is Keanu Reeves. Who we just worked with in Knock Knock. Yeah? Like literally. We directed him.

Two months ago. He's the best. Holy shit. That's your next thing? That's my next movie. We shot it. We're starring Lorenzo and Keanu.

It's a thriller. When I was like, hey, come down to the show. Bring some awesome people with you. You could have been like, Keanu, let's do this. We didn't think of that some I wanted you here

of course but that's awesome is there a nicer guy in the world no there's not and he's incredibly funny and we just ask him about Bill and Ted's all the time and he had the greatest stories in the Matrix he was one of the most fun

cool easy going dudes I've ever worked with we love him alright well The Films of Keanu Reeves is your third option there Camille no

not Keanu you're not gonna fall into that trap I'm already an asshole and Lorenzo really liked the Blue Women category so

yeah fuck Lorenzo too I'm sorry let's go I'm sorry we just met why? I really like you and too. I'm sorry. Let's go. I'm sorry. We just met. Why? I really like you and your show. I'm very nice.

You're very nice. We're all great. I knew tonight would prove that you're the one that starts the shit with the other guests on these shows. No. Because these two are just sitting here. No, they're wonderful. And you still started shit. It would be funny to make fun of Ke, because he seems like such a mensch.

And then she's so nice, and I was like, that's the next step in the joke. And it wasn't. It wasn't the next step. It didn't work. It didn't work. Everybody liked you. You're too likable.

Keanu's not here. Fuck that guy. But you're here, and clearly I'm the asshole. All right. As an apology. Oh, here we go. I will choose super bad. No, I'm joking. Let's do the blue ladies. All right, as an apology... Oh, here we go. I will choose Superbad. No, I'm joking.

Let's do the Blue Ladies. All right. This movie's got Blue Ladies in it. I can think of three. Okay, well, which one was from 2009, and Leonard gave it three stars, and he says about this movie that it goes on for too long,

and that some people are allergic to it. And it was an Oscar winner. It won three Oscars, I think. Three Oscars. And Leonard lists ten names. So now you have to tell me how many names it would take you, Kumail Nanjiani,

to discern the title of this movie. Rating those ten names from the bottom up, of course. Is this super easy? It might be. Am I missing something? So then if you think you know it, you could bid zero names. You can get into negative names if you want. If you said negative one, you'd have to name the movie and the top billed person in the movie.

You've played this game before, right? I have a question. What is negative? I know, it's insane. Then you have to name the movie and the first person. Alright, I'll go zero names. Zero names, he says. Alright, so Eli, if you think you know it,

you can go negative one and name the movie and the top billed person. Or you could just hope that Kumail's got it wrong and ask him to name it. Well, I'm trying to, I want to go negative one. Okay. I think I can do it. I think it was. Can you go negative two?

Don't say it out loud because then we have to go to Lorenzo. I think you should. That would mean that you'd have to name the movie and the top two stars of the movie no if it's don't make her do it Kumail so then you

just have to say to your dear sweet Eli name that movie and hope that he gets it wrong name that movie

Avatar yeah and who's the top bill Sam Worthington that's correct yeah it's the I can't believe it's the easiest blue movie.

They're all blue. Zoe Saldana is super blue. There's a blue Smurf girl in Smurfs 2. And then there's Willy Wonka. And then there's X-Men. Jennifer Lawrence, blue. Oh, the blueberry in Willy Wonka? Rebecca Romijn.

Yeah. Blueberry, yeah. What are the top three? Is it Worthington, Saldana, and Weaver? Arthur, is anybody blue in Guardians of the Galaxy?

Dave. Yeah. But he's a dude, though. Is that movie good? It's supposed to be ladies. Yeah, it's awesome. Oh, it's so good. It's great.

Yeah, it's the hit. It's so good. The hit of the summer. Avatar? Can't believe you missed Avatar. God. I think we all knew. It becomes a negative names game, man a negative names game thought you were a geek

but what were the top three are those the three are those the three you lost just let it go it starts Sam Worthington and then Zoe Saldana and then Sigourney Weaver

do you remember the cover of Celebrity Sleuth when Alien 3 came out what the headline was It starts Sam Worthington and then Zoe Saldana. And then Sigourney Weaver. Do you remember the cover of Celebrity Sleuth when Alien 3 came out? What the headline was? No. Horny Sigourney Weaver's Naked Alien Beaver. That is a home run. I can't believe I didn't remember that. That is a fact. I am not making that up.

You can Google that. You would be a sociopath if you were making that up. If you were like, I gotta get this phrase out there. I wish I was. I'll lie to these nice people. I wouldn't deceive them. Eli has one point and

Kumail gets to start us off again. But this time we'll go to you next, Lorenza, so be ready. Kumail, would you like at where is underscore Q suggested Port Blandia I was just in Portland that's why this came up

but Port Blandia is movies that take place in Portland that Leonard gave two stars or less and then your next option is the classic category Winds and Scrabble. And that's movies that start with the letter Q. And then we've got, yeah, right?

Horace Inkling suggested Batman vs. Bateman. And that's movies that have Jason Bateman and Ben Affleck or both. Wow. Wow, indeed. Which one of those would you like to play? I like... What was the first one again?

Portland movies that are terrible. No, no, no. I'll do the Q. Starts with Q. Yeah. All right. This movie that starts

with the letter Q came out in 1986. One and a half stars from Leonard. He says this movie takes place in a big city half stars from Leonard. He says this movie takes place in a big city. Thanks, Leonard.

But that it was confusingly shot in three different cities. Uh-huh. And one white collar... Oh. Oh, it's... Okay, it's the lives of some people. Okay, forget it.

All right, Port Blandia. It starts with Q. So those are your clues. What was the third clue? It's the shortest review, and I almost just... I think I'll just read the whole review. Yeah. All right, the lives of big city bicycle messengers

confusingly shot in three different cities, and one white-collar dropout in particular. So obvious. Way more obvious than the other one. Low gear all the way. Kumail, how many names? How many names are there? That's a good point.

Eight. Eight. I'll say eight. Okay, he says eight names, Lorenza. So you think you know the name of the movie. Look at these two cheating with each other. Did he just tell her the name? They're. Look at these two cheating with each other. Did he just yell for the name? They're cheating with each other, not against each other.

It's taking a very long time to cheat. Yeah, it's really... It's not subtle at all. The teacher would have to turn and look away for a long time for you guys to get away with that shit. What do you think, Lorenza? I don't know what you said. She didn't even understand any of it.

My ears are really red. I get very nervous when I do bad things. You're not doing anything bad. What? Yeah. My ears are bad. I get very nervous when I do bad things. Those were a couple

unconnected thoughts, lady. I said I got nervous when I do bad things. Those were a couple unconnected thoughts, lady. I said I got nervous when I'm cheating. Do you think you know the name of the movie? Lorenza? I'll give you a hint. It's whatever word he whispered into your ear. If you think you know it, say

zero. Or you should say seven names. Is it negative two? Or you could go negative two if you zero. Or you could say seven names. Is it negative two? Or you could go negative two if you want. Did you hear what I said? Yeah, I think I did. She thinks she did. Well, then it was one name and the title.

Yeah. She'd say negative one. Yeah. Okay, negative one. I'm feeling so miserable right now. Say negative one. I bet she's setting you up anyway. Oh.

No. Well, can't I just throw it to someone? No, just say negative one. Is it? Or say, name it Kumail,

but then he's going to get all eight names. Quicksilver? Kevin Bacon? You have to bid negative one. You got to say negative one.

Negative one. All right, and then say what you just said again. Quicksilver. Kevin Bacon. That's correct. Wow then say what you just said again. Quicksilver. Kevin Bacon. That's correct.

Wow. How did you know that it was Quicksilver? How did you know? How did you know Quicksilver? What happens in that movie? Well, you know, there's like a surf brand that's really cool. They have really good surf trunks. Did you see that movie at the Chestnut Hill Cinema 2 in 1986? I mean, I was born in 1989, but...

All right, we got to start with... This keeps happening. I don't know why, but we're going to start with Kumail again and then go to Eli. Because I'm the only one with fucking integrity on this show. You're controlling the board

and yet you can't control the board. I won't cheat. Yeah, you can't control the game. They're cheating. No more cheating. I wasn't cheat. Yeah, you can't control the game. They're cheating. No more cheating. I wasn't cheating. Assisting. Coaching.

It was coaching. It was coaching. It's the first time. So it's a two-way tie between you and Lorenzo. Yeah, it looked between not me. Got it. Got it, buddy. But you get to pick a category and bring us right to a three-way tie.

And we've got to wrap this up in 12 minutes or less. And as it is, we're going long. Apologies to put your hands together. You get to pick between You Say Ferrara, I Say Ferrera. And that's the films of America Ferrera and Jerry Ferrara. Jerry Ferrara is Turtle, right? Yes. Would you like to know who America Ferrara is?

Ugly Betty. Ugly Betty versus Turtle. They're both iconic TV characters who have been in a couple of films each. I haven't seen any of them. The jeans one, the pants, the traveling pants. Penny Dreadful is the films of Penny Marshall

that Leonard Maltin gave two stars or less. Go ahead and say that again. Penny Dreadful is the films of Penny Marshall that Leonard Maltin gave two stars or less. Go ahead and say that again. Penny Dreadful is the films of Penny Marshall that Leonard gave two stars or less. And Into the Wild is films where Halle Berry has sex.

I will go with Into the Storm. Why did I say Wild? Into the Wild is movies where Sean Penn does not have sex. Into the Storm. Into the Storm is movies where Sean Penn does not have sex. Into the Storm. Into the Storm is the name of the title. That's a great name. Into the Storm. Let's go into the storm.

It's a lot funnier when I don't fuck it up. Let's go into the storm, buddy. You like that one? Yeah. Okay. Halle Berry had sex in this movie from 2002. The Leonard Mullen gives three stars. He calls it entertaining. He says that it goes on for... Oh, he says...

It goes for one segment too long. That's interesting. Usually he just says it's too long. This is just one segment too long. And then he says, but it's still fun to watch. And he also says that the person who sings the opening title song also appears in the film Unbuild. And he also says that the person who sings the opening title song also appears in the film Unbuild. And he lists

nine names. How many names can you get in, Kumail? I'll go with eight. Eight names. Strong opening bid. We go to Eli. Does that mean he needs eight names to get it? He's going to take eight names, yeah. I'm going to read off eight names so you can go less.

I could go, like, I could get it in two names. Oh, wow, that's really a daring bid. That is a daring bid. What do you think, Lorenza? Could you go less than two names? I'm in the storm right now. I'm in the storm right now. I'm... Are you sure you're not in a green inferno? I get confused sometimes.

Someday. There was a green inferno in the little room back there before we came out here. Oh, yeah. Oh, do you think a lot of stoners will go to Green Inferno thinking it's not an Eli Roth horror extravaganza? I hope so, because there's actually a huge plot point

about stonerism in the movie that I think you'll greatly enjoy. Oh, good. I hope it's because the stoner saves the day. At a certain point, it turns into a Cheech and Chong movie. I like the stoner guy in Cabin in the Woods ends up being like the hero. That was great.

I like that a lot. I like that a lot, too. Lorenzo, what do you think? You have any idea what this movie is? Nope. Okay, so just tell Eli to name it, and then I'll give him his two names, and there's a very strong chance

you're going to walk away with the win. Eli, say the name. All right. I'm guessing it's... Can I give you the two names, and there's a very strong chance you're going to walk away with the win. Eli, say the name. All right. I'm guessing it's... Can I give you the two names first? Yeah. Samantha Bond and Michael Madsen from 2002. Oh, I was going to...

Entertaining. Halle Berry has sex. Three stars. I was going to say Swordfish. Goes on one segment too long. Ooh. Still fun to watch. Buddy, it is not Swordfish. She just shows her verbs say Swordfish goes on one segment too long still fun to watch buddy it is not

Swordfish it's not Swordfish I don't think she has sex with anybody does she I assume why would she show her boobs if she wasn't having sex

cause she's sitting outside tanning them she's reading a book on her her boobs are reading a book that's what happens I thought she was holding one of those tanning things

under her boobs oh yeah that's what it is. I just looked at the boobs. I thought, I never even looked below the nipples, I guess. So you just guessed a book? That's what you thought

she would be doing in her boob exposing time? I thought her boobs were like reading a book. Like, are you done, boobs? And then she turns the page and then the boobs are reading a book.

Yeah, it's like probably written in braille and she rubs her boobs along. Any idea, Eli? Well, you said he said swordfish. Oh, but you said

you were going to say swordfish. I was going to say swordfish. You knew it's not swordfish when Michael Madsen gets named, but does that help you to tell you what it is? No, I thought it was Swordfish,

but with Michael Madsen, I'm clueless. The only other sex one I could think of was Monster's Ball. And that's not a fun movie to watch. No, it's not a fun sex scene. You can't, like, oh, the sex scene's here, I'm going to take it out. Because Leonard said it's a fun movie to watch, right? But you never know what Leonard Maltin's into.

Very entertaining. Yeah, it's... I'm actually quite pleased to say this because people come on the show all the time and they say, I don't know anything about movies. How could I possibly win? And I say, because if you do it right, you could win anyway, even if you don't know the answer.

Or if someone whispers the answers in your ear. Lorenzo Izzo is our winner, you guys. Yeah. The film is James Bond with Pierce Brosnan called Die Another Day. Yes, with Halle Berry has sex with James Bond. That's 2002?

Huh? That's 2002? I think so. What did I say? Yeah. 2002. When I get questioned on this show, I usually am wrong, so that scared me. But yeah, you're a winner. Definitely the most worthy winner. Can you come back next week?

Yeah. I would love it if you came back week after week. But with a different cheater. But yeah, next week I think somebody else from Sex Ed might be here, so that's actually a cool tie-in. Anything to plug, Kumail? I mean, lots of things to plug, obviously. Well, I'll say The Meltdown, Wednesday night,

12.30 a.m., technically Thursday. X-Files, Files is my podcast where I'm re-watching every episode of The X-Files and talking about it, The Indoor Kids, and oh, Silicon Valley is now on iTunes, the HBO show, very funny show. Watch that, fire it on iTunes.

You have a lot going on. It's mostly podcasts. Hey, where's 50 Sheds of Greg? We need a shithead from you, dude. Oh, The Indoor Kids is a video game podcast I do for the nerdists. Can I plug something? Are we going to plug his podcast?

He's got a lot of stuff. I'm going to plug his podcast. I think he still left some stuff out. Yeah, think about anything else you want to say. I just saw you in a movie. What did I just see you in? You had like a scene or two. Oh, no, I saw you on Drunk History.

That was very funny where you played an Indian. Yep. I played chief, an Indian chief type. I think the joke of a Pakistani guy playing the wrong Indian is so many levels to get to the joke that most people didn't even get it. What do you have to plug, Lorenza, besides Sex Ed on November 7th? Anything else? And Green Inferno someday?

Yeah, Green Inferno someday. And go back and check out Aftershock. I haven't seen Aftershock. I have to watch it now. Yeah, well, let me talk. Go ahead. Sorry. Watch the clock.

Yeah, go into Netflix and watch my romantic comedies in Spanish. Fuck my life, fuck my wedding, fuck my family. Wait, are those the names of the movies? Yeah, it's a trilogy. What's it called in English? It's like blue, red, and white. That was in English. No, I mean, what is it in Spanish?

Oh, in Spanish. They're called Que Pena, I mean, what is it in Spanish? Oh, in Spanish. They're called Que Pena Tu Vida, Que Pena Tu Hola, y Que Pena Mi Familia. Yeah, that's not as exciting as Fuck My What? Fuck My Family.

Fuck My Life. Fuck My Wedding. Fuck My Life. And then Fuck My Wedding. Fuck My Wedding. Fuck My Family. Fuck My Fat Wedding. My Fuck Fat Wedding.

I'm going to go watch those. Have you seen all of those, Eli? I have. I'm in Capena 3, Capena 3 Familia. There's a Latin soap called Atacke al Corazon, Heart Attack, and I play the doctor in it. It's great. He plays a horny doctor that hooks up with everyone. My friend Nicholas, who directed Aftershock, who I wrote Green Inferno

with, and Knock Knock with he, very funny. And Knock Knock's the next thing we should be looking for. Yeah, and today we just got the news. It just came out that Hemlock Grove has been renewed for season three on Netflix. There you go.

And they're doing it as the final, they're like let's do it as the last season. So it's weird, we got renewed and cancelled in the same day, which is interesting. But the cool thing is now we can really kill as many people as we want with no repercussions. And then hopefully everyone is kind of working out the Green Inferno

situation, so hopefully within the next week or so we'll have some kind of resolution on when that's coming out. Yeah, let me know and we'll talk it up. And it's funny, I even had written down when I thought Neil was going to be here, I thought there was going to be four people. I was going to have Eli and Lorenza play as a team. That was my... Well, they did. They did there was going to be four people. I was going to have Eli and Lorenza play as a team.

Well, they did. They did anyway. And they kicked your ass. But you took it well. And I will be on Thursday, September 11th. I'm going to stand up at the Zanies in Chicago. Douglovesmovies.com for all of my dates and deeds. We're two minutes under.

Our 15 minutes over. You won. So where's the person with that name tag? You get all this stuff. You get these posters. Oh, and there's a baby in that bag, too. Enjoy your Peruvian baby. Good luck, buddy.

That should be a shithead tonight. It actually comes in the mail. People who give away babies. Thanks once again to Camille Nanjani, Lorenza Izzo, who's going to be here next week, and Eli Roth. As always, the dude who leaked all those nude photos is a shithead. And the mid-season finale of Mad Men.

I'm still mad about it.