Doug Loves Movies - Kumail Nanjiani, Matt Besser and Dana Gould guest

Episode Date: January 18, 2016

Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes comics Kumail Nanjiani, Matt Besser and Dana Gould to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everybody, today's episode is brought to you in part by Children's Hospital. Fridays at 11, Adult Swim takes you deep inside the heart and bowels of TV's most celebrated hospital for children, Children's Hospital. Where malpractice makes perfect. Where every surgery is a party and every party has a 50-50 chance of recovery. Where complex and often unnecessary procedures are performed by the best-looking doctors money can buy, with a cast including Rob Corddry, Rob Hubel, Lake Bell, Ken Marino, Megan Mullally, Aaron Hayes, and Henry Winkler.

Yes, Henry Winkler. When it comes to hospital comedy, Adult Swim has you covered up to 80% if you stay in plan. Watch Children's Hospital Fridays at 11 on Adult Swim. Enjoy the show. Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seats with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, Doug Loves Movies. Hey, hey, hey!

Everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies! Something on my prize bag is wet. I don't know if that's a bad thing or not. We're coming to you from the Nerd Melt showroom at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles

on Sunday, January 17th, 2016 at 420-ish. So excited that you guys are here. You don't like football? No. Tell the truth! Let me see your name tags.

All right, there's more than three. We're good. Doug's Plugs, San Antonio, Texas. I'm back after a long time of not being there. It's been a while. But I'll be back Saturday, January 30th at LOL Comedy Club at 420. And you know it's going to be fun

because it's at LOL Comedy Club. There20. And you know it's going to be fun because it's at LOL Comedy Club. There's a 2-LOL minimum. And I've also got a couple of shows at the end of February at Fort Lauderdale at the Improv. Dates, dates, and links to all of my stuff is at douglasmovies.com. Is anyone here doing the DLM challenge?

You are? How many have you watched so far? 17? You're watching one a day? Is that how you're doing it? Okay. Well, good luck to you. She's only seen four, so you're kicking her ass. And, yeah, I threw this out to everybody,

all the people listening to Doug Love's minis and Doug Love's movies that you should try to watch 366 movies this year because it's Leap Year so you have that extra one you gotta do. And I'm also gonna do, I'm gonna watch Leap Year

I'm gonna do an interruption of Leap Year on February 29th over at Cinefamily because that just feels too appropriate. And, you know, it was like doing Back to the Future Day last October. And, you know, that Leap Year comment is only going to come around once every four years. So I'm going to grab it and ride it. it but 366 movies and hashtag 366 days hashtag DLM challenge is what you want to use to for me to keep track of what you're doing and then if you if you listen to Douglas minis you'll hear me talking about everybody and what they're

watching it's fun I'm excited about it and I'm excited that I don't have to watch that many movies because I did 365 last year, and I almost quit. I almost stopped watching movies altogether, but I'm back into it now that I saw Force Awakens a second time. It reinvigorated me. This is sad. My Taylor Swift sunglasses broke. Yeah, but they come in a really nice carrying case,

and they're probably fixable, but that's just not my jam. So I'm giving them away today. Yeah. I don't know about movies, but as seen on the internet, my Taylor Swift glasses. Also, from my extensive VHS collection, an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer called Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

I don't remember if that was a good one or not. Most of them are good. And then Gilmore Girls episode called Help Wanted. So both of those are in the bag. And... Oh, a couple of CDs. Like a... A sampler CD from Diesel Clothing. Store. Like they give that when you buy

pants that are too expensive. And then... Now this, I don't even... I don't get this at all. But I have a CD. It's labeled professional murder music and there's just three tracks and I just I assume it's just like scary sounding music for the murderer that likes to set up a scene and still it is Christmas rapping

because I didn't have to fly it anywhere, a Poke Bowl from our friends at Poke Bowl. If you don't know what a Poke Bowl is, watch Getting Dug With High, and there's one on the table that we use every episode. That's all the stuff I brought, but I've got three fantastic guests who brought even better stuff.

Please give a big, warm welcome to Dana Gould, Matt Besser, and Kumail Nanjiani what the coffee oh, you were there. It is helping. You dragged the Pete Holmes Award out of Kumail by speaking to him from the front row. This looks like the worst episode of the dating game

ever. It's 2016, Dana. The new dating game. It's bound to be an all-man version. Four guys that are... Oh, what the hell. Just for another TV appearance. Right.

But let's say hi to Kumail first, everybody. Kumail Nanjiani is here. Hello, hello. It's like an episode of Petticoat Junction up here. It's like an episode of Don't Take the Daisies. What's that show? Please don't take the daisies. Huh?

He's up here like Robert Morse. This is the worst production ever of 12 Angry Men. Yeah. We each play three roles. Yeah, no, I think he's playing nine and then we're three. My brain thinks my mouth is a radio. It can't stop. That's Dana Gould, everybody.

And with a new special on CISO. Right? It's like that expression, see something, say something. Yeah, it's an anti-terrorism comedy network if you see something sew something if you see so say so tell everybody about it

Betsy Ross yeah it's a sewing based anti-terrorism if you buy store bought sweaters the terrorists win. Knit you around. Also, if you see something, sew something. It's just, if you see something, sew.

Something. The best response to 9-11 would have just been, we didn't like those buildings anyway. Just mind-fuckin'. Just totally mind-fuckin'. We were about to tear them down. Yeah. Thanks. fucking. Just totally mind fucking. We were about to tear them down. Yeah, thanks, you just saved us some money. And they'd be like, oh.

We wanted to turn it into one tower all along. They would have torn off their turban and jumped up and down on it like Boss Hogg from Dukes of Hazzard. I am not gonna participate in this riff. What'd you bring for the prize bag, Kumail? Okay, I brought a couple things. I brought Pied Piper from Silicon Valley.

Nice. And I also brought the Dothraki language learner. Game of Thrones. These guys already know that language. Put this on your bedroom shelf and turn your bedroom into Fort Panty Drop. It has two CDs. So they made up a language and they were like once it is not enough for all

the lies we have so that's the two things I have yeah all right yeah pass it down I just it's just funny to imagine someone learning dothraki and but not not knowing an actual second language like if you're gonna you know i mean if it's somebody that already knows several then okay but if it's your second language you really that's probably yeah so many other ones that'll come in handy these days yeah if you only know enough klingon to be a tourist. I would also love it if they were also like racist and on their car they had a speak the fucking language or get the fuck out.

But also they speak Dothraki. I wanna find the intersection of that guy. Dana, what'd you bring for the bag? Keeping our 70s theme going, I brought some records. I brought some vinyl. A little vinyl. I like it. Big black CDs.

Oh, Funhaus. My first CD, now on LP, Funhaus, soon to be on 8-track and Edison disc. Edison cylinder. I'm sorry. Edison cylinder. Thank you. That's a great album. That's what Mrs. Edison said album was that an Edison dick joke yeah and this is my second album entitled let

me put my thoughts in you that's the special of Bob Odenkirk directed oh yeah so it's recent. 2008, yeah. And those are 33 and a thirds. Thank you, Dana. With my VHSs and these, I'm so excited that people are going to take these home and not be able to do anything with them. You put them in a frame, and then you learn how to say,

would you like to see some cool shit in Dothraki? And the next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire. Is that another reference to a show I don't remember? You don't really know that one? Beverly Hillbillies? No, I don't know that one. That one everybody knows. That was the least obscure of everything

Dave has done so far. The other references were spin-offs of that reference. There were things that happened on the planet before you arrived that were quite interesting, believe it or not. I don't buy it. Something that rhymes with Merlemore Moo,

you might want to check out. It had some cultural impact. World War II? Before you were born. Yeah, not interested. Not interested. But Kumail, you know all the words to the Brady Bunch song, right? No.

Really? No. Okay, then you just don't know that stuff in general then. I don't know. It's just out there, you know? Yeah, the Gilligan's Island, that whole realm of stuff. If you grew up here, you would know all of those things. Hey, be less aggressive, Dana.

If you were... Yeah, if you were... If wishes were horses. Right, I know. If you were the kind of person that was headed to heaven, you would know. No, we never got...

The good heaven. Yeah, we didn't get old like... Well, my heaven has fucking virgins in it, dude. Because we all know how great they are in bed. My heaven has 35-year-old divorcees. They get after it. They're trying to fuck a point across. Trying to fuck a point across.

Matt brought a whole stack of things for the inclusion in the bag. I did. I have the movie I made. They're trying to fuck away the last ten years.

I hear. That's okay. It's Freak Dance plus my baseball card that I put in there. Thank you. And scripts to movies that I did punch-ups on

including The Revenant, The Martian, Spotlight, you know. He walked in one day and said to The Revenant people, I'm thinking a bear. And then he walks in, what if the only thing they're doing is moving pelts across the mountain? And then he walked into the Spotlight writers' room

and we're like, okay, this is gonna sound weird, but I think the priest should do something worse than just steal cars. That damn ring of Boston car-stealing priests. Which one of these, did you see any of these movies? I saw, I think all of them. All of them? No, I saw Revenant.

Have you seen it yet? Yeah. Yeah. All of them? No, I saw Revenant. Have you seen it yet? Yeah. You know the part where he meets the friendly Pawnee Indian and they catch snowflakes? Pawnee, that's funny. Yeah. It was my idea to have it be Pawnee. When they're catching snowflakes on their tongue, remember that one? Yeah.

That was my idea. Because that's fun. Yeah, that's probably the only light moment in the entire movie. I said, make snow angels, too. Make a snowman. They cut that part. Yeah, that's probably better for that movie. For that particular film.

What was the last movie you saw, Matt Besser? Well, it was that. I've been watching all the Oscar screeners, though. I did like The Martian. I did not think it was a comedy, though. I saw it on a film. You weren't like, oh, man, when China was like, we'll have help. You weren't like, oh, shit, they went there.

Oh, shit. I saw it on the new Beverly on a double bill with the help and I couldn't figure out the connective tissue until I realized poo eating. The help and Martian have people eating helpings of poo.

I can see that. One on purpose. In help they eat shit? Mm-hmm. The whole... She makes a shit pie and makes a white lady... Right. Tricks a white lady eating a shit pie.

Which, by the way... Spoiler alert. How dead are your taste buds? Yeah, well, you gotta run it around in your mouth for a while before you realize something's up. Yeah, it's a little weird that her nose didn't get involved. This fudge has corn in it. I watched it.

I watched it after the Oscars, and I was like, it's about a poop eye? Yeah. Was that actually a double feature? No. No, but it could have been at the New Beverly because there was a thematic consistency. You made up that that actually a double feature? No. No, but it could have been at the New Beverly because there was a thematic consistency. You made up that that was a double feature? Yeah.

I was so buying it. I'm in SAG. I can sell it. Yeah, that's right. The original title of the marshal was Pootatoes. Pootatoes. Pootatoes. Pootatoes. Pootatoes. Kumail, I know yesterday you did a big marathon of episodes of X-Files

over at Cinefamily here in Los Angeles. Sounds like that was a super fun event. Oh, yeah. It was a blast. Before that, though, did you see any movies? Actually, The Revenant was the most recent one I saw. Big screen or screener? Screener.

But I saw Revenant and Spotlight and Carol at the same time. Oh, so you were just sort of like, let's have a lot of fun. Yeah, light hearted. Let's spend the next two days wallowing in joy yeah when you when you watch a frothy romp when you were watching the revenant and one of those uh the screener and the for your consideration thing came up did you think it was an indian subtitle for a second you think that that potty guy is saying for your consideration. Do not copy. That movie is fucking intense. It's so much

to deal with. I just wish they gave him the Oscar halfway through the movie so he would just relax a little bit. Yeah, he's got it already. We get it. Snow is cold. I thought he was going to shit his own Academy Award halfway through the movie. I thought Tom Hardy was amazing in that movie.

Yeah, I was very thrilled to see him pop up for Best Supporting Actor because there was no talk about it happening. Can you really burn your throat closed? Is that a thing? What? Can you burn your throat closed? In The Revenant, when he drinks water...

He seals it up. He seals his throat wound with gunpowder and burns his own throat closed. Yeah, I bet you can. There's some physics-defying aspects to that movie. I don't know. The concept of infection doesn't seem to exist in that movie. Well, it's cauterizing the wound, right?

So wouldn't it be the same as... I guess. Yeah. Well, I happen to have an expert standing by. Is Bill Nye here tonight? Who? Bill Nye the Science Guy. Oh, I thought you meant Bill Nye-y.

No, Bill Nye... He's my favorite actor. The Science Guy-y. He is a great actor. He is my favorite actor in the whole wide world, Bill Nye. He's amazing. Bill Nye the Science Guy-y. Yeah.

That was Matt Pesser's joke. I just said it louder. Then it's yours. He's amazing. What was the last movie you saw, Dana? It, my, uh, well, today on the plane, I watched the original Assault on Precinct 13, and then before that, it was probably The Revenant.

What, why did you watch that movie on the plane, I watched the original Assault on Precinct 13, and then before that it was probably The Revenant. Why did you watch that movie on the plane? I haven't seen it, and I like John Carpenter. Does it hold up? It does. It's great. And Austin Stoker, who's the lead, is fantastic in it. And I love that they tell a very elaborate story for a buck and a half.

It's a very small, contained story, but it's a completely satisfying movie. It was John Carpenter's first big movie. Did you see it when they remade it? No. That wasn't good. You can tell it's not going to be good. You know that small thing that worked good because it was

small? We made it bigger. Yeah. Alright. What did you see last, Doug? Yesterday I saw, I was in Seattle, so I went to the beautiful Cinerama Theater there, and I saw Force Awakens again. Oh, yeah.

And it was neat. They showed the Donald Duck cartoon, Donald Duck, Daffy Duck cartoon, Duck Dodgers in the 21st century. Oh, that's awesome. And a very funny cartoon. And so it's fun to see that. And then fun to see Star Wars.

And I tweeted, I've officially forgiven George Lucas in my heart. Because he made some shitty movies. So what? He created this whole thing. So let's give him credit for that. And just walk away. Yeah. You know?

So you love Force Awakens. I just, like, seeing it the second time just enforced to me, like, I'm just always going to love this movie. Yeah. Because when the music stink comes on, it says Star Wars at the beginning. I, you know, I feel that tingling sensation. And then I, you know, I jerk off during the whole, all those stupid words in the sky. I don't care about that. So I jerk off during the whole all those stupid words in this sky I don't care about that so I jerk off really quick usually get one out before that's done and then you see a big sort of restore balance to the force before the movies yeah I love thinking of those words in the skies if

they continue out into the universe yeah It'd be cool, halfway through the movie, a ship runs into the water. That must happen in Spaceballs. Sorry, had to. It's made out of glass. I kept waiting in this movie. When they were in the sand dunes, I kept waiting for somebody to come by with a big comb.

Man, we ain't found shit. Only funny line in that movie. Oh, shit. Whoa, you really threw that down hard. People love Spaceballs. Here's one thing not heard in the Spaceballs writers room. You want to take a little bit more time with this one? So we're going with yogurt. We're going to call him

yogurt. Dark helmet? Right out of the gate? It's a $200 million movie. What if we took Helmet? Right out of the gate? Five minutes? Dark Helmet. It's a $200 million movie. What if we took five minutes? Yeah. Forces the Schwartz? Really? Let's go.

Doesn't even sound like it. We don't have to write it all today. We have a whole week. We could go back to this, Mel, after lunch. Yeah. I've written scripts. You get a week at least. Dark Helmet.

Dark Helmet. That's beautiful. So how many times have you seen Star Wars, Dana? I saw the new one twice. I saw you going into it. Yeah, I was walking out of some other thing. You were walking out of the Michael Moore movie. Oh yeah, I like that. What's that one?

Where to Invade Next. And he goes to different countries and finds out these awesome things that they do and how they do it and then he says he's gonna steal it for America and it's stuff like college is free and everyone gets two weeks paid vacation no matter where they work in some country I forget which one but doesn't sound like Mirka yeah exactly and it's very it's fascinating and also fun it's on the lighter side of the uh michael moore spectrum so it's lighter than the one about school shootings a little bit it's a little bit lighter than that one it's certainly lighter than michael himself

it has space balls too but yeah i'm very much on board with Star Wars moving forward. Oh, I didn't ask you. Kumail, have you seen it once? Yeah, I saw it once. Do you want to see it again or no? Oh yeah, I'd totally see it again.

I had a great time watching it. I'm not like, you know, I'm not, Star Wars is not a religion to me or anything. Like, I like the original movies, but I wasn't like, I was like, this one sucks. It's not gonna like ruin my life. So I didn didn't go in i'm not enlightened like that about everything like uh like indiana jones i was upset that the new one wasn't good but with this one i didn't care and

i had a great time wait wait you didn't like the new crystal i can't sustain that improv that long am i bad that i enjoyed all seven of them so far? Yes. I didn't love all of them, but I enjoyed the elements of all of them. Phantom Menace? I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that Phantom Menace

is worse than a million Hitlers. It's pretty bad, but, you know, if you can enjoy it, good for you. That's what I say. It just frustrates me. That's what I love so much

about this new movie is I was just like this is exactly this had been the next movie I would have never been unhappy it's a beautiful delicious hamburger and you don't have to really go overboard criticizing a hamburger if it's bad it's bad ember but it's it's a hamburger it is just it's Star Wars not a religion it's not your life it's It's a movie that's designed to be fun and entertaining. And as long as it satisfies that... I urge you to go on Twitter and say, Star Wars is just a movie, and see what happens.

I don't think Twitter is a place where people get obsessive about minutia. And X-Files is just a TV show. And CISO is just a TV show. And CISO is just a... No, I have stuff. I have stuff that I... Don't talk about CISO. I have stuff that I love. When I walked out

of Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes, I intentionally killed a homeless guy with my car. I was not happy. Oh, I'll tell you the last one I saw. I guess you missed him.

Nobody. Nobody missed him. I saw a more recent movie. I saw The Death of Superman Lives. Do you know that? It's a documentary. I was watching it at home today and just had to stop to come over here.

It's so interesting, right? It is. It's Tim Burton and Nicolas Cage's Superman in like 98 that they were going to make. But they have like access to all, like he's wearing the outfit, talking to Tim Burton, they're riffing,

and it seems like really... It seemed cool. It was weird and positive. Super original and weird. It was so weird. Did they talk about the movie they made instead? Superman Returns?

No, the movie they made instead at Warner Brothers that year, they had enough money for The Wild Wild West. Yes. The brilliant... Oh, that's a great one. what if we had an African-American in the 1800s who works for the government well in a way they all did but did you think well

that was a great TV show by the way yeah what did you think Will Smith was good in that Dana no I could not get past the obvious sort of thing of like, there weren't a lot of happy African Americans in this country in the 1800s.

The amount of man hours and expense that went into making it look like Kenneth Branagh doesn't have legs for that fucking stupid movie.

It was so awful. But that's one of those movies on cable, I will watch it for a while when it's on just because I'm like, I gotta just check in with this and remember if it's as awful

as I always think it is. No, it is. It is because it's just, it's one of those, it's like the remake of Lone Ranger when they tried to reboot that where it's like,

you gotta think of ways to make it spectacular within the time period. You can't just decide that there's gonna be a big, gigantic, mechanical monster that this guy could somehow create

when we're having trouble building a railroad. Well, they talk about that because the producer of Superman Lives hired Kevin Smith and was like, I have three mandates

for this movie. Superman can't fly. Which he denied. Yeah, he denies it. But it was Superman can't fly. What was the next one? His costume can't be... Is this John Peters?

John Peters. The last one is he wants a giant spider. He was like, Superman has to fight a giant spider. And when the movie went away, he made Wild Wild West. Right, yeah. The giant spider. Oh, never in the suit. Never wearing the Superman suit.

Yeah, he's never in the suit. He never flies Superman suit. Yeah, he's never in the suit. Not a new suit, but just not any suit. He's just naked. Just walking around in jeans. Fighting a giant spider. And it's funny, they say, well, he made Wild Wild West and he got his giant spider and it cuts back to him

talking to John Peters and he's just like, I was really into spiders at the time. Like, he totally admits that he I was really into spiders at the time. Like he totally admits that he forced a spider into Wild Wild West. He was a hair guy. He was famously Barbra Streisand's hairstylist

and that's how he... The Warren Beatty character in Shampoo is based on him. He also went to Brainiac to battle two polar bears. It's great. Well, I should say... But in their defense, they're polar bears made of small white spiders.

We've been talking to John Peters about him coming on Getting Doug with High. Yeah, but I'm also throwing that out there as a reason maybe why he's got such insane ideas. It's because he does seem to be a pretty big pot smoker. Yeah, and he also forgot the demands he made, too, because he denied them. He remembered the giant spider thing. Well, that guy, how many things have happened in his life? He has had a very, very complicated life. There's a very famous story of him because he produced the first Tim Burton Batman.

story of him because he produced the first Tim Burton Batman and that was and that you know that movie was famously hugely over budget and and was just skyrocketing in the budget and he somehow refused to pay for crew t-shirts and just it was like there was like he'll all give you a hundred million dollars for the effect we're not gonna see but I'm not paying $400 for crew t-shirts no ice and craft services yeah it was literally one of those things it famously Jack Nicholson said you don't have to pay for the t-shirts but if you do I might just shut down and you don't want that has anyone seen the Tim Burton Batman recently I'm curious to see how they can't be good I mean it's got aspects to it that are probably still sort of work.

But the fact that it's over budget is crazy because it's not up on the screen. It's not a visually spectacular movie, really. For the time it was. It was the first time a comic book movie was dark. That's basically it. But he's dancing around with a ghetto belly. Literally dark. I'm not defending the movie.

But that first shot of Gotham City in Tim Burton's Batman, you'd never seen anything like that in a superhero movie. Yeah, I thought. Up until that time. From what I remember, it looks cool. Look at the faces of your audience. Can I give you two words? Can I give you two words?

Are they sad? Two words. Kim Basinger and Prince. That's why that movie's great. What are the two words? None of them. One of those is a word. No, Prince is a word. The other one's a name.

Four words. You guys want a bat dance? Yeah, exactly. Bat dance. That song. And he shoots down a gun with a pistol. Shoots down a plane with a pistol. But it's a long barrel pistol.

Yeah, it is. One of my favorite dumb things in that movie is Michael Keaton saving his hide by just putting a little metal plate inside his suit. So that's exactly where the Joker shoots him instead of right in the fucking face. I've been waiting for some movie to do that

where they make a big deal out of something and then just get their whole head shot on. That would be neat. All right, so where do you rank star the news force awakens like do you rank it as the third best third yeah yeah it's about right you don't like return to the Jedi no in fact I Dan never and I wrote an article called 50 reasons return of the Jedi sucks before the new movie before that Lucas actually cited

when he did the special editions, where he goes, well, I read all these articles about people who don't think the movies are any good, so I went back and fixed them and put in some tauntaun poo. I don't,

that movie is risible. Is it really that bad? Yeah, with one exception. It's a trap! that movie is uh risible is it really that bad yeah with one exception i like the i like i like the uh luke darth vader stuff is good but everything else in that movie is i think just god awful um is cinematic abortion too strong attorney Is cinematic abortion too strong a term? When that one came out, I was... Is a celluloid 9-11 too strong a term? Because Empire was so great, and then when Jedi came out,

I was just clinging to the idea that it wasn't as awful as you're saying it is. And I remember when what you wrote came out, and each point being true and also stinging. Because you just don't want it to be true. You just don't want to give in to that. So then when these prequels came along, I was plenty ready

to not like them anymore. Because definitely, Jedi takes that awful turn where all those little fuzzy creatures are celebrating and dancing and have a song that's awful you know that that's my favorite part of all the movies the effects are terrible the effects are terrible and just from a screen they don't look like real ewoks but just like there's green there's green screen line there's just effects there's green screen lines there's grain just effects. There's green screen lines.

There's grain that's different in the desert stuff. You can tell it's... It's like back in the 40s or whatever. But they're better in Empire and Star Wars. The Tatooine looks much more real in Star Wars than in Return of the Jedi. I know this conversation is the leading cause of vaginal dryness, so I'll wrap it up.

Two words. Another Death Star? That's three words. Well, that, so I'll wrap it up. Two words. Another Death Star? That's three words I know. Well, that's in the new one, too. I agree. That's like, really? There's another. This plant does not work.

Well, here's the deal. Here's the deal. The bad guys have to have somewhere. They got to, you know, it's like James Bond movies. They always have a lair. They always have to go in and blow up the lair. Here's the brilliance of this movie. They needed to reset the franchise

so they can go make all of these other movies. And there hasn't been a good Star Wars movie, in my opinion, since 1980, really since 1983, the view of most people. Fine. So they have to reset it. So they make this film. The first act of this film is a remake of Star Wars.

The second act of this film is a remake of Empire. The third act of this film is a remake of Star Wars. The second act of this film is a remake of Empire. The third act of this film is a remake of Jedi. You get the entire original trilogy sort of repackaged for you and it gives you a good clean start to go off into these other movies. And the next one, Star Wars goes Hawaiian.

I'm very excited. I was just sort of taken by how there were no boring parts. I mean, there was in The Force Awakens. I was just sort of like, this there were no boring parts. I mean, there was in The Force Awakens. I was just sort of like, this is really tight. But also it felt like some things might be missing. What kind of nerd am I? What kind of nerd am I?

The things that I like, Star Wars, Star Trek, X-Files, the franchises that I like, I commit to and I like so much that I give them a break. I look at them as sci-fi, as the history of the future, not as something I can criticize.

You can't criticize something that's happened or something that will happen. So I just completely buy into it. I can't criticize something that's happened or something that will happen. So I just completely buy into it and I don't want to hate it. You can't be like, I didn't really like World War II. You're saying it like that. It's just a real thing that happened. You can't criticize and say, it should have been better.

It should have had a more interesting end. Hitler should have lived. Let me ask you a question now. I'll answer it. You can all answer it, but I don't think you Matt. I'll answer it. Well, you can all answer it, but I don't think you're old enough to answer it. I'll answer it and he'll say it.

When Han and Chewie ran onto the Falcon, I was hit with a palpable wave of melancholy. In this new one? Yes. Because it was like I was 15 again. And I'm seeing these actors and these roles on these sets in a movie, but I'm, it's like,

it was like that Twilight Zone episode, Walking Distance, where the adult man wanders into his own childhood and sees himself as a child. It was like I was so palpably close to my own childhood, but I wasn't there anymore. It's like, yes, but Han Solo looks like a shoe now. And I look like a shoe now.

I loved it, but there was sadness. In the new one, I teared up at every new, first just the words. The second time I teared up is when they took the tarp off the Millennium Falcon. And my wife was sitting next to me. Didn't know

that that was did not know what that was. And I was like next to didn't know that that was... Yeah. Did not know what that was. And I was like, she's like, what is that? I couldn't even... As soon as Ray was like, as soon as Ray was like, not that one, it's garbage. I was like, there it is!

Yeah. No, it made me... I did. I wept like a baby. But it's also the way also i didn't see my wife the amount of time that they uh i did but i don't what are 50 reasons that you don't have a wife can you list them and do they overlap with return of the jedi ewoks yeah small yeah i'm not worried uh dana about any woman listening to this who might be not interested in what we're

talking about because there is no such thing I know if you're already listening to the Doug Loves Movies podcast you're probably alright with a conversation about Star Wars especially yeah especially now that we're a little closer to the area where we can spoil things

there's been some anger about this podcast in the last few weeks because... What have you spoiled? Well, you know, just general stuff. If you're a fan of Star Wars and you haven't watched it yet, fuck you. Yeah, exactly.

Just got out of prison. So you're telling me that this is the first time that Han Solo has shot Chewbacca's bulk out there. Right. Well, let me ask. I've been asking this at the shows, and there's always a handful of people. Who here is excited to see Force Awakens,

but hasn't yet? What have you been doing? Yeah, what is going on in your life? A human girl. Someone light a cigarette. I'm going to burn her with it. How come you haven't seen it yet? I just haven't had the opportunity. She just hasn't had the opportunity.

What are you doing here? Every hour, 24 hours a day. Don't be here. Hang on. You haven't had the opportunity to see it. Yeah, I was sick when I was supposed to go see it with my brother and my father. I'm not attacking you. I'm just trying to get information. I know sick when I was supposed to go see it with my brother and my father. I'm not attacking you.

I'm just trying to get information. I know, but I'm feeling under attack. Don't feel under attack. It's just really weird how you're living your life. But it's okay. I know coming here that there could be spoilers. That's true. She's alright with the fact

that we are talking about it. She's not like fingers in her ears going, la la la la la, this whole segment. So thank you for that. You're welcome. I bet you know a lot of the big stuff that happens in it. Have you not like? I know one big thing that happens.

Oh, tell us what it is. Well, since I'm the only one that hasn't seen it, I won't spoil anything. Say it. Well, if I say it, I feel like- Say it, tell us. My solo doesn't make it. Say it. Well, if I say it, I feel like- Say it! Tell it! Solo doesn't make it!

Fuck you! Oh, boo! Boo! That's the one thing you don't say! Come on! You don't need to say that inside the theater! Spoilers! That was very brave of me, shut up!

I tried to cut him off before that inevitable bit happened. That is how brave people behave. They're like, I'm very brave! I'm very brave! I'm very brave! I'm very brave! I'm very brave! I'm very brave!

I'm very brave! I'm very brave! I'm very brave! I'm very brave! I'm very brave! I'm very brave! I'm very brave! I tried to cut him off before that inevitable bit happened. That is how brave people behave. They're like, I'm very brave! Why couldn't he have died in the crystal skull before he had to grab the rubber snake? Or on the golf course when he landed that plane.

Do you think he had an argument with JJ about wearing his old man earring for this movie? He's not dead. We just saw him fall from the bridge, right? He's dead as Kelsey's nuts. Didn't he get hurt? Chewbacca's hilarious in this one, too. Yeah, he's great.

He makes me laugh I thought the bad guy was awesome that was a great, Kylo Ren was great big fan yeah he's like a good fun bad guy emo villain the first time I saw it when he took off his mask and his hair was all

he looks like a hipster a guy in the audience started laughing and wouldn't stop for five five solid minutes. This was like an opening day. And I almost got out of my seat and went over to confront the guy. But he was so tickled

by it. And just him. No one else was laughing at him. But you think about it. It's like a major bad guy and you're face to face with him and he takes his mask off and then it's the guy from Girls like you'd be like you you're doing all this wow that's funny he hosted snl last night and driver and i thought he had a good presence in sketches just because he's just not completely right he's got kind of a nicholas cage quality yeah he's so good or fred gwynn quality yeah he's so intense and i he was great i thought yeah yeah i thought he

did a good job uh we gotta get to the part where i say let the games begin don't feel bad we were just making fun of you before in a fun way and you'll get to see the wonderful Star Trek trailer. It's the best birthday gift ever. Oh, happy birthday, not worthy asshole. But I also knew the thing she was going to say wasn't going to be on mic, so

I wasn't worried about the listeners, but then... Yeah, you should not have said the N-word. What did you do? It was the best part of the new movie though. It is such a crazy moment where they say it. I would have thought a bad guy in the movie would say it. Chewbacca says it, the only clear English word

he's ever said. Luke has one line of dialogue. It ends with please. Yeah, she kept holding up that fucking lightsaber and say something. I just don't think that I can say that line. No, it's good, Luke. Say it.

In Star Wars, I know in the original Star Wars, one thing that's different from 1977 is you could never have the lead role in a film be that fae in a movie. He literally has lines like, what kind of talk is that? Cheering up, oh, he's terrible trouble, sir. I'll shut down for, what kind of talk is that? He definitely grows into it.

I'm worried about Han. All he cares about is money. He was like good enough when that movie came out. Like Star Wars was so great that it didn't bother him. I didn't hear from anybody ever saying that

his acting was bad and then now you look at it and it's not very good. Well, he's just incredibly minty. Which is just, I don't know how else to put it.

There's something about it. It's just off. Whereas Harrison Ford walks into the movie a movie star. Yeah, absolutely. And that's what he does again in this one. And that's what I was trying to say earlier,

is that a lot of time goes by before Hound and Chewie even show up, and you're not looking at your watch going, when is that going to happen? I just found the whole thing to be delightful. Yeah, I did too. Really good casting of all those new people. There wasn't one where I was like, I don't want to see that one in more movies or whatever.

You know? I wanted more Max Fonsito. Why would Poe's jacket fall off in the crash? It was already off. What do you mean it was already off? It got hot in there and he just laid it down inside the TIE fighter. You really stepped in there, Doug. And then Finn scoops it up

because he needs a jacket to walk through the desert can you let me finish my point front row hey deserts are cold at night Doug or whatever did they ever talk about what ate the TIE fighter and then blew up

the TIE fighter seems to get eaten, and then it blows up. It's quicksand. I just thought it went into quicksand, and then it all just splashed up at the end like it's flourished. No, it blows up. It's somewhat inexplicable.

I don't care, but it was like... You care a little bit. Somebody's got an opinion back there. What is it? The sinking pits that Ray warned BB-8 about. Yeah. But he thinks there's an explosion at the end. No, it's not.

Oh, it explodes because it's entirely under sand. You know how when you bury someone who's dead, they explode? Like when you accidentally leave your keys in the sand, like you're building a sand castle, you drop your car keys in.

It's like, okay, just wait for them to explode. I don't... Car keys aren't filled with oxygen. Well, neither are TIE fighters, considering there's no oxygen in space. No, that's great. I just can't believe that you're so stupid. Actually, car keys are filled with oxygen.

If it was just movies set in space, which one was the funniest this last year, The Martian would not win. No. There were funnier space movies than martian i thought the martian was great it was fun but it's not like a comedy that's crazy it's really weird it's so so sneaky it's so sneaky it's so sneaky well yeah there were no musicals uh But when there is one, it gets nominated in that category. It has to be pretty shitty to not make the cut, best comedy or musical. But let's play...

I'm alone on Mars. Will anyone return? All right, in that case, we're playing Doug Loves Musicals. Just shout out the answer as soon as you know the name of this movie musical. I'm just going to name songs from one film. And as soon as you think you know it, and you can guess as many times as you want, first one to get it right wins. What movie musical has these songs in it?

20 Fans. 20 Jump Street Sneaking Around Songs in a Musical A Movie Musical May or may not be based on a stage musical Sweeney Todd Demon Barber of Fleet Street I like a full title, but that is not

right. The next song, Hard Candy Christmas. This is going to be a Disney musical. Well, thanks for helping everybody out. High School Musical. High School Musical 2. Do you think there's a Disney musical with a song

that goes, A little old bitty piss and country place in Texas that's correct that was a stage it actually has Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You. I Will Always Love You, the song from the other movie. The bodyguard. That's a great bodyguard. Tell me about the movie. Tell me about the movie.

Do you like whores? Yes. And then the final song that I was going to read out of all the songs that would have given it away if you didn't figure it out by then was Texas Has a whorehouse in it. And it's the best.

Texas has a whorehouse in it. Texas has a whorehouse in it. And it's called the State House, am I right? Sorry, did I drop a truth bomb? Sorry. Sorry, I didn't mean to set up a truth bomb. Is that really how the song goes, Doug? Nope.

I have no idea how it goes, but I bet you I was close. I bet you I ballparked it. Texas got a whorehouse in it. Texas got a whorehouse in it. Yeah. Doesn't have to have any more melody than that. Let's play ABCD's Nuts. This is a spelling game.

Dana gets to start because he won that last game. Then we'll go to Kumail. Then we'll go to Matt. We're going to spell out a title and each letter. All you guys got to do is when it's your turn is just name any movie in the history of motion pictures that begins

with the letter that you get. And we're going to spell. I feel like it'd be racist if I won this one. Because... Indians always win. Pakistanis always... It's usually Indians. We don't even make it there.

That's true. Unpack that one more time. We're going to spell The Revenant. So your first letter, Dana, is T. All you've got to do is name any movie that begins with the letter T. And if you match the movie that I've written down ahead of time... Oh, I see. I get it.

Okay, go ahead. Ready? Then you're going to win. But if you can't think of one, you're out. And that does happen to people sometimes. Can I go? Yeah. Taxi Driver.

Very good. And keep in mind that the word... Did he get it? That's actually also what I watched today on the plane was the intern what kind of like were you on you watch two movies yeah it's a six-hour flight the intern is different from the internship intern is the yeah but now he's got this new movie Dirty Grandpa where he loses his internship H I'll say slow down

did he get it? just let me say what I wrote down and let me also point out that movies that begin with the that's a T movie so you can only use those on T's so don't you know what I mean

so just for the fun of it to see if you would say it I went with The Revenant You can only use those on T's, so don't, you know what I mean. So just for the fun of it, to see if you would say it, I went with the revenant. Sometimes the person thinks they're being sneaky and that's funny. All right, so Kamil, your letter is H. He revenant. No, it's, I'll say Hoosiers. Did you say Hoosiers?

That's a great one. That's a great one. Yeah, very good movie. I wrote down... I went with High Noon. Okay. Yeah, because I was at the time. E is your letter, Matt.

Everest. Yeah, did you see that? Matt. Everest. Yeah. Did you see that? No. I didn't. I feel like I get it. I almost said I didn't, and I did. I sat through it, but I feel like I didn't see it.

It's like, oh, it's really cold up here. We should go down. That's like the big spoiler in that one. I went with every which Way But Loose. Oh. Yeah. Philo Bitto. That's Clint's character's name in that movie.

What are you talking about? In the faraway time called the 1970s, Camille, far beyond your comprehension, a young scrappy actor named Clint Eastwood made a series of jaw-droppingly fantastic orangutan movies. The first of which being Every Which Way But Loose. In which Clyde the orangutan flipped off many people.

That was as funny as it got. That was when they made me chuckle a little bit because that was a good orangutan. Then they made a sequel. Any which way you can. Not to be confused with Dunstan Checks In or Goin' Ape. What was the one that Joey from Friends had?

Ed. Ed. Ed. E. Eddie? Eddie. Eddie. No. Eddie? Eddie. Eddie. No, Eddie was

Whoopi Goldberg basketball movie. Ed. It was just Ed? Was the name of the monkey? Marcel. Not Marcel. TV watcher. Over in the booth.

R is your next letter, Dana. There's only one movie I can think of. Radio. Is that the one where they thought they were teaching radio but at the end

it turns out it's a spoiler alert. But not really because radio's mentally handicapped and you really can't teach them much. What did you learn

from radio? Don't drink out of the hose? Don't touch the stove? Not much, really. He's mentally handicapped. What's he going to teach me? I went with Rio Grande. Eee, Kumail.

Enter the Dragon. That's a good one. I, just to help out my friend director Joe Lynch has a movie out called Everly and it's on Netflix now

fantastic class was it good? yeah it's it's just Salma Hayek just in one space like her home fighting off hundreds of bad guys

the subtitle of Spotlight was Enter the Altar Boy sorry did I drop a truth bomb? fighting off hundreds of bad guys. The subtitle of Spotlight was Enter the Altar Boy. Sorry, did I drop a truth bomb? My favorite part of that was how long it took you to get to it after I said Enter the Dragon. Well, I wanted you to have your full laugh. I don't need to eat your laugh.

You can have it. V is the next letter, Matt. Okay, so if a movie is like, uh, ba-ba-ba-ba, then A is the first letter? Yeah, it's got to be A. Okay. I'm going to say Valkyrie. Oh, nice. What were you thinking of with that A?

A vampire's kiss. Oh, okay. It's not vampire's kiss, is it? I think it might be, yeah. I don't think it has an A. Is that the one where the Germans that are plotting to kill Hitler think they're learning from Valkyrie, but Valkyrie actually learns from them? I went with Vegas Vacation,

because I'm going to be at the Plaza Hotel in Vegas next Sunday at 4.20. Directed by Steve Kessler, I believe. Yeah, he backed his car into me one time. He's a good guy, Steve Kessler. We were at a kickball game at a park, and he backed his car into me, and I had a dent in my car for about a year because he didn't have insurance,

and I didn't want my insurance to go up, and so I just had a dent in my car. E is the next letter,ana i really like steve kessler oh he's a great guy but um that's that's my story about him that's my interaction with him was he cool about it he's super nice but he's like i don't hey man i don't have insurance what should we do can i just give you money and i was just like i guess, but I just dropped it. Yeah. Never talked to him about it again. Because it's me, I would have to go with Escape from the Planet of the Apes. And because it's you, I thought if I write Escape from the Planet of the Apes,

that's what Dana's going to say, and that would be like cheating. Ah. So I went with Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. Oh, I thought you were going to go with Escape from New York. Could have done that, too. cheating. So I went with even cowgirls get the blues. I thought you were going to go to Escape from New York. Could have done that too. There's always a lot of options. Escape from New York, one of the five best Ernest Borg 9 apocalypse movies.

What are other ones? The joke was he was just in a one. Marty. My, my, fatty! N is your letter. N? I think I'm gonna get it. You do? Night of the Hunter.

I went with No Country for Old Men. Okay. There's a line in Night of the Hunter that a little girl says where she goes, you must be fooling, my name's Pearl. That's so twee, it could have been said by Mark Hamill There's a line in Night of the Hunter that a little girl says where she goes, you must be fooling, my name's Pearl. It's so twee, it could have been said by Mark Hamill in Star Wars. You must be fooling, my name's Pearl. A.

Assault on Precinct 13. I wrote Appaloosa. Wow. Why? Well, I don't know, Kumail, if paying attention is something you're into, but most of these movies are westerns today. Oh, cool.

N is the next letter. Dana? N? Yeah, letter. Dana? N? Yeah, N. Revenant has two Ns? No. Reven-ant. Did we already go back?

Yeah, yeah. Reven-ant. Night of the Lepus. Great Western. Yep. I went with Navajo Joe. Starring Burt Reynolds. And finally... Do you know what Night of the Lepus is?

Yeah. The DeForest Kelly... L-E-P-U-S. It is the DeForest Kelly giant rabbit movie. They're evil giant rabbits. You gotta fight them. I prefer to think

they're misunderstood giant rabbits. I don't think they're evil by nature. My God, they're giant rabbits! That's DeForest Kelly. That's a line from... Bones. Here come the rabbits again. So, did you say that I can't do a thing

that starts with the? I can? You can if it's the letters T. Okay, so it is, right? So I'm going to go with the good, the bad, and the ugly. That is correct! Yes! A triple V, man. Wow. Yes! So fucking good at this!

I deserve this. I deserve this. That means you're first in our next game. Whose tagline is it anyway? I'm gonna say a tagline from a motion picture to Kamail, and he's gonna, what happened? What's going on? Did you do the name tags yet? No, I haven't done the name tags. That's a great idea, Producer Ryan.

I somehow got distracted by 20 minutes of Star Wars jokes. And Night of the Lepus. Let's pick some name tags, you guys. There's a bunch of them out there. And everybody should be playing for somebody. Oh, all right. And just grab one that you like and bring it back to your seat. Ryan also reminded me, because that's when we go to commercial.

We'll be right back. Today's episode is also brought to you in part by CISO. We've been talking about it on the show. CISO is a premium comedy streaming service serving up on-demand, 24-7 streaming comedy anytime, anywhere. serving up on-demand, 24-7 streaming comedy anytime, anywhere. It's specially curated for the comedy connoisseur with original series, quotable classics, next day late night, stand-up specials, and more for only $3.99 per month.

Just $3.99 per month! They've got countless hours of premium HD comedy like the entire Monty Python library, including Holy Grail, Life of Brian, and The Flying Circus. Totally remastered into HD for the first time. The Full Kids in the Hall catalog, also entirely remastered into HD for the first time. Classic SNL from the 80s, and so much more.

New comedy is added every week. Try it now for free, or start as a guest. No credit card needed. CISO also has never before seen new originals like the ucb show a weekly variety sketch showcase from the original founders of the upright citizens brigade and the cyanide and happiness show new animated series based on the wildly successful web comic try it now go to see so.com and stream for free today. No credit card needed. Back to the show.

We're back. It's all mine. Who are you playing for, Dana? I'm playing for Joanne, whose film is Joanne Who Fell to Earth. Aww. Wow, that is... What?

And is that why you picked it? Yeah. David Bowie tribute? Sure. Okay. Kumail? Rachel Razor. That's the spoiler lady.

Demon to some, angel to others. I think we've seen both sides today. Sure. So Rachel, I assume, is her name. Rochelle. Rochelle? So sorry. I think you're saying it wrong.

It's Rachel. And it's actually, it's Rochelle Razor. Rochelle. Rochelle? So sorry. I think you're saying it wrong. It's Rochelle. It's Rochelle Razer. Rochelle Razer. And who are you playing for, Matt? Grumpy old Tom because he put M&M's on the bottom that I'm going to eat. You get a box of M&M's for your trouble.

It's only fair. Did he put a shit on the back? He sure did. So save those for later, fellas. Alright. Let's get back into the gameplay. So save those for later, fellas. Alright. Let's get back into the gameplay. Thank you for straightening that out. And thank you to everybody for bringing name tags. I'm surprised that nobody in the audience told me, how come you haven't picked name tags yet? I was very disciplined

of you, yes. I like that about you. I'm pleasantly surprised by it. But I'm glad we picked name tags because it's about to start getting real now. We're playing whose tagline is it anyway? You just name the movie after I

say to you directly. If Kumail doesn't get it, then it'll move over to Dana. You guys alright? You guys okay? We're gonna crawl all the way up Everest. Did you see Everest?

Is this the poster tagline or the line in the film? This is either the poster or just use, you know, IMDB lists taglines, and so sometimes there's multiple ones, and some are so you know, just nailing ahead just nail on the head that I wouldn't use that or hope not to, but we'll see.

We'll see. But we're going to start with Kumail, and then we'll come to you, Dana. Kumail, what movie had the tagline A Comedy About Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Two Ex-Presidents?

And the P of two ex-presidents. Yeah, that's really pretty specific for a tagline. It is. God damn it. Do you know what it is? Hell no. I think I might be in that movie. What movies have you been in?

Name the first one that comes up. So, if you mailed out... No, I'll say... Baba Hotep. Can we try to poach? No, well, no. Dana gets a shot at it it Is it My Fellow Americans? That is correct

I'm in that movie Dana's in it Dana plays Sandwich delivery guy Yeah More specifically It says Sandwich guy

At book convention But I hung out with Jack Lemmon for four days. There might have been sandwich guys in other sequences and you want to be clear, Thuan at the book convention. The film is a bukkake of sandwich guys. What was Jack Lemmon like? Jack Lemmon was a fucking delight.

And I'll tell you, I hung out with Jack Lemmon and James Garner, because it was just the three of us in the scene and forever to shoot because there's a lot of coverage and we were there for four days. And then, you know, maybe two months after I wrapped, I'm on Robertson Boulevard. And I was just with him all day, every day for four days. And then like two days, two months later or whatever,

I'm on Robertson Boulevard by the Newsroom Cafe. And I hear beep. And I turn and there's a Bentley next to me. And Jack Lemmon's in it and he's waving. It's like, okay, I'm good. Hello, love. Burt Lancaster winked at me once. Did he?

All right. Matt gets the next one. And then if he can't answer it, then it moves to Kumail. And Matt, what movie has the tagline a comedy about taking it one step at a time? Spotlight. I love these.

I love any of these movies that starts with a comedy. That's whatever. You know, like, well, we better tell people that it's a comedy. A comedy about a man cultivating his own shit on the surface of Mars. Because when you think about a guy abandoned on Mars,

you immediately go, how does he use his own shit? Comedy about taking it one step at a time. The walkabout's not a comedy comedy the most gorgeous woman on earth hmm Jenny Hagerter how close gonna be about a baby one step at a time someone in rehab I figured we have comedy I thought it was that Stephen Hawking movie. Toothpaw. You got anything, Matt? Sorry, man.

Sorry, man. I don't know. What do you got, Matt? I don't know. I don't know. You can just give up. I give up. Okay.

Kumail? It's not permanent midnight. No. Dana? A comedy about taking it one step at a time. Groundhog Day? No. No, not Groundhog Day.

What about Bob? No. Let me just be to it. It's not lost in translation either. No, I was saying, because What About Bob has that baby steps thing. No, it's a movie that Kumail was in

called Life As We Know It. Life As We Know It. And that tagline. I don't know that movie. What's it about? He plays sandwich guy at pregnancy store. Pregnancy store.

The Zack in that movie? Is that that one? Zack. Is that the Zack in the mental institution movie? No, no, no. This is the movie. Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel get a baby. And I'm Josh Duhamel's co-worker.

And I try not to think about it often. So these aren't all popular movies. I hear that Katherine Heigl's just a delight. I don't know her. She's no Jack Lemmon. We'll start with Matt again. It's a good movie. You guys should see it.

It's a good movie. You should see it. Life as we know it. I thought you were going to pull the screen now. We're going to watch it right now. Here we go. Watch it on a plane. When you say something is a good movie,

but you end the phrase three octaves higher than you started the phrase, it's a good movie. You won't look anyone in the eye right now. No. I really like it. It's a good movie. You have total liar lips. It's a really good movie. It is a good movie. You have total liar lips.

It's a really good movie. It is a good movie. It is. Who's seen it? It's good, right? Oh, wow. No. They're under oath.

You shouldn't ask them that when they're under oath here at Meltdown. Okay, Matt started us off with this one. A place where dreams are canceled. A place where dreams are canceled. Oh. Is this something I've been in? Is it the TV set? That's correct.

That's not a big Rolodex I had to go through. Not a bad little movie, though. I like that movie. Is that Jake Kasdan, right? Mm-hmm. Okay, so let's go to Dana. The reason some animals eat their young. The reason some animals eat their young.

Problem child? No, no. Kumail. What movies have you been in, Dan? I don't think this one. Matt, do you think you've been in this one? No. The reason some...

So it's got to be an evil kid movie. If you were on Jeopardy, would you turn to the other two people for advice? What about this would make you... This is nothing like Jeopardy. We yelled turn to the other two people for advice? What about this would make you... This is nothing like Jeopardy. We yelled at a lady for no reason. This is nothing like Jeopardy. That was a very good reason.

Baby's day out. Oh, that's a good guess, too. That kid is quite a troublemaker. Matt? The reasons animals eat their young. Why do animals eat their young? Because they're hungry? The hunger change.

Just cut back on the numbers, I guess. Regans. Fifty Shades of Black. Can I guess again? Sure. Just to see. Is it Dennis the Menace? No.

That would be... Most of your answers, that tagline would be a little harsh. I think it's harsh in general, but at least the title is not the name of a person that should be eaten. I don't think this is it, but that would be a great tagline for the Gummy Bears movie. It's a movie that you're in, Dana, called Father's Day. That was the tagline? Yeah, Father's Day had that tagline with Robin Williams and Billy Crystal. And Dana played... Another food delivery person.

A room service waiter. The late, great Robin Williams. Is that known as when you're big skills? No, that was honestly the reason I got in that movie was because Robin was bored

and he wanted someone to hang out with so Want to play a room service with her? Sure Yeah he always all of his movies

have sprinkled with like you just when you're watching him you know like Dan Spencer you know these guys that are just like you know friends of Robin's

I'm a woman I'm really bored. Okay, I'll come over and play with him service later. All right, where are we at now? We're back at the bat again, I think. A comedy about the journey between popping the question and tying the knot. Spotlight.

Is this me? Wait, why is it my turn? Huh? Because we're starting, you know, I thought he went first in these last rounds. Journey between popping the question and tying the knot. Sounds like Kumail's anxious to participate in this one.

Go ahead, Kumail. Go ahead. What is it, Kumail? Five-year engagement. That's correct. And finally, Dana, what movie has the tagline life made him tough,

love made him strong, music made him hard? Oh, yeah, you do. Clearly, Road Hard. Not Road Hard. No, no, no. You're wrong. You're wrong. Come on. Kumail. Walk Hard. Full title, you do. Clearly, Road Hard. Not Road Hard. No, no, no. You're wrong. You're wrong.

Oh, come on. Kumail. Walk Hard. Full title, full title. The Walk Hard, the story of Dewey Cox. Wrong. Mad Besser. The Dewey Cox story.

That's correct. I hope you're happy with that. Is that a noble victory? Was that an honorable victory? But wait a minute. Do you feel like you deserve that? I didn't do it. It's an honorable victory? I don't know. But wait a minute. Do you feel like you deserve that? I didn't do it.

It's not my rules. I didn't invent Jeopardy. I knew what I was saying. I knew what I was saying. And I am in Rhode Island. You said Roadhead. No, Road-on. Roadhead.

Okay, let's say you were on Wheel of Fortune when you turned to the person next to you. Hey, you think this has got an O in it? You think I should buy a valve? Another Jake Caston movie, right? Well, he's the only one who employs me, yeah. But that's a hilarious, that's one of those movies where it's on cable,

I'll just watch the shit out of it. Underrated movie, folks. You know what's another underrated movie is Life As We Know It. Do you guys go on iTunes. Let's play Reverse Leonard Maltin. Father's Day directed by Jason Reitman's dad. Is he a nice man?

He's the director of Evolution. Jason's lovely. Okay. What kind of question is that on a recorded podcast? Director of Evolution. Jason's lovely. Okay. What kind of question is that on a recorded podcast? Is he nice? Well, I asked about Jack Lemmon. But then his voice goes up

and he's a victim of his own thing that he pointed out. Everyone's great. He's great! Everyone's awesome. I can't believe how awesome everyone is. Everyone is awesome! I can't believe how afraid I am that no one will hire me.

Dana, I don't think you've played Reverse Molten before. It's like the old Leonard Molten game, but the idea is I tell you the name of the movie first, and everybody knows what movie it is, and then everybody has to bid on how many names they think they can name from the ones that Leonard listed in the Leonard Maltin app. And as soon as Jamal puts away his IMDB page, we can start.

I think Reverse Maltin came like a motherfucker and got out of there. So we'll start with Matt, and then we'll go to Kamil. And Matt gets to pick from three movies. Which one of these movies do you think you know the most actors from, Matt? Even if it's just one or two actors. Clockwork Orange? The Apple Dumpling Gang?

Or Herbie Goes Bananas? I'm just going to say Apple Dumpling Gang because I know Kumail will know. All right. Yeah, it's from 1975. And Leonard lists seven names. So how many names do you think you can name from this film, Matt Besser?

I'm going to say two. Okay, he says he can name from this film, Matt Besser? I'm going to say two. Okay, he says he can name two, Kumail. So you're basically probably just need to challenge him, I'm assuming. Do you really think he can name two? He might screw it up.

I don't know. Oh, he has to name them in order? No, just any two, but it's got to be two from the seven that Leonard lists. All right, go for it. He says go for it. Don Knotts, Tim Conway? That's correct. I know nothing about that movie.

Bill Bixby, Slim Pickens. Buddy Hackett in that movie? Harry Morgan. No Buddy Hackett about that movie. Bill Bixby, Slim Pickens. Buddy Hackett in that movie? Harry Morgan. No Buddy Hackett in that one. But I can take that out of the old... Apple Dumpling Gang. And then the sequel, The Apple Dumpling Gang, rides again. So that means that Matt has one point.

We're playing to two points. And we'll start with Dana and then go to Kumail. What about the tagline stuff? Do we get any points for that? The person that won the tagline game got to go first in the next game. Okay, copy. I'm pretty sure that's what happened. I'm not in charge.

Which one of these, Dana Gould, do you think you know the most actors and actresses from? The Hunger, all right. The Game, or The Hunger Games? Oh, wow. Hang on one second. Be right over here if you need me. I'm gonna go with The Hunger Games. Oh, that. Hang on one second. I'll be right over here if you need me. I'm going to go with The Hunger Games. That was fast.

Let me tell you how many Leonard lists. He comes up with a whopping 14 names. How many of those do you think you can come up with, Dana? Three. That's a very strong opening bid, but Kumail was certainly alive when this movie came out.

So what do you think, Kumail? I'll say five. Five names, Matt Besser. Do it. Do it. If you don't do it, Matt's our winner today, but if you succeed, you'll have a point. Any five from the 14 that I'm looking at?

Jennifer Lawrence. No. No. Liam Hemsworth. Say five names and then I'll tell you if you're right or not. The Tooch. That's Stanley Tucci. Please stay away from nicknames. Okay.

The Tooch. Elizabeth Banks. The Liz. One more. I will say Glenn Close. You missed the two most obvious names outside of Jennifer Lawrence. I'm impressed.

What's this Glenn Close bullshit? I don't know, dude. She's not in it. She's not in it. She's not in it? No, she's not. Philip Seymour Hoffman, right? No, the Hunger Games, you guys. The first one.

I don't think he's... Woody Harrelson. And Donald Sutherland. Donald Sutherland. Of course, he's in all of them. Donald Sutherland. He's Detective Snow. Oh, good.

The South. Of course, he's in all of them. Donald Sutter, man. He's Detective Snow. Oh, good. The Suth. No, that's, I was just kidding around. He's Grand Moff Snow. He's Simon Barr McEvil. Lenny Kravitz, Wes Bentley. Lenny Kravitz? Yeah. Yeah, he's the stylist guy that helps her look called stylist.

Have you seen his dong fall out on YouTube? It's pretty impressive. Have I stopped saying his dong? All right, well, Matt won on that game quite handily. Were the other four, Doug, were the other four listed on there? Were all the other four listed on the 14? What other four? What do you mean? The tooch was tooch. Yeah, yeah, you four listed on there? Were all the other four listed on the 14? What other four? What do you mean?

The tooch was too much. Yeah, yeah, you were right on everything. I just didn't know where Glenn Close came from. She's in Guardians of the Galaxy. I am thinking of Snowpiercer. No, is she in that? No. I'm thinking of Tilda.

I'm thinking of Tilda Swinton. I'm seeing a face and she looks like the rich people in Hunger Games and it's Glenn Close's face. Snowpiercer and The Martian would be good. Science fiction movies are people who are reading Bugs and or Poop. Or, oh, this would be a spoiler for Snowpiercer. We'll keep going. You're worried about a Snowpiercer spoiler?

I can't believe that you'd give something away from Snowpiercer. I will say, genuinely, legitimately, I'm very disappointed in myself right now. Why's that? Because I wanted to win. Well, Matt's our winner today. Yeah, I know. I didn't win. All right. But Tom, come get your prizes.

And Matt, take those M&Ms off of there because he probably wants his sign back. Oh, you're in the front row. There you go. Wait, we don't keep that? You want your sign back? It's negotiable. Do you want to keep yours? Oh, you can have it back.

Yeah, sure. What do you want to do? What do you want? Give me Rochelle's name tag back because I've got to read the shithead on the back at the end. And same with Dana's down there. Just pass it over here to me. Very good. Dana Gould, what have you got to plug, buddy?

Oh! My podcast, The Dana Gould Hour, is around and I do a lot of shit. Right on. I'll be at Sketchfest later this month. I'll be at the Wheeler Opera House in Aspen, Colorado

some other month. Maybe March or February. February. Dana Gould, the last to know his own schedule. I have a lot of stuff. I have a lot of pies in the oven. He doesn't have to have that stuff in his brain. I have a lot of pies in the oven.

There you go, things to worry about. I have kids. I can't be concerned with my career. You're going to go see Goosebumps tonight, right? It's their choice. Whatever. What do the kids want to see? My oldest wants to see Goosebumps. Just in time for Halloween.

Yeah. Take the kids to Goosebumps. Yeah. Kumail Nanjiani, what do you got to plug, buddy? I'll say Silicon Valley comes back April 24th. The new X-Files season starts January 24th and I'm in the third episode. Oh yeah, you saw it last night.

That's awesome. And you're co-hosting the Independent Spirit Awards on IFC on February 27th. Okay. Live on February 27. You gotta have IFC.

Yeah, me and Kate McKinnon are hosting it. She's very funny and very exciting. She is, yeah. I like you better than her, to be honest, but I told her the opposite. Matt Vesser, what do you got to plug? I think I'm at Sketch Fest, too. This weekend?

Yeah. Go to Sketch Fest and look for weekend? Yeah. You're there too? Okay, so go to Sketch Fest and look for shows that they might be doing. And my special we mentioned earlier, Besser Breaks the Record, my stand-up special

on CISO.com. It's the comedy nerd platform. Thank you. CISO, say so. If you see something, so something. Get it on Roku. You can get it on that? No, I said you should get it on Roku. You can get it on that?

No, I said you should get it on Roku. Okay, okay, I'm sorry. It's not my platform. She gets real chatty with the guests. I'm sorry. I gotta do something about that. Let's play one more round of reverse mold for fun and so that Kumail can feel better about himself.

Lenny Kravitz. Donald fucking Sutherland. The movie is Anaconda. I can name Lenny Kravitz. John Voight. We'll start with you again, Danny. Jennifer Lopez. What's happening?

Eric Stoltz. It's basically a remake of Preacher from the Black Lagoon. I saw Anaconda. Oh yeah, is it... Who's in it? Wait, you guys are talking about Anaconda? Yeah. I saw Anaconda and there was

this really sweet family father and his kid in front of us and every time the snake would come on, the father would cover his kid's eyes and the whole thing. And he'd just go, What does that mean? I want to see let me see the fucking reason i came to the that's in dothraki what just what an awful thing for a child to be screaming yeah let me see the anaconda that happens in spotlight my anaconda don't want none.

Unless it's got buns. Hun. I'm going to let Kumail pick this time so he can get something in his wheelhouse. Pick between these three movies. This is a builder title, mashup title. Let me say it right.

Meet Joe Black Dynamitey Ducks. So it's Meet Joe Black, Black Dynamite, and the Mighty Ducks. Which one of those would you like to play, Kumail? Meet Joe Black.

Leonard lists seven names. How many can you name? I'll say two. He's going for two, Dana. From Meet Joe Black from 1998. Yeah, I know the film. I know the same two people. Glenn Close.

What movie is it? And a rabbit. I'm going to... I'll let you go. Go ahead. Me? Yeah, go ahead. Oh, thank you.

Brad Pitt and Claire Forlani? Oh, no! That's not the name! That is correct. But the other name is Anthony Hopkins. Anthony Hopkins, of course. Yeah. Jake Webber, Marcia Gay Hardon,

Jeffrey Tambor, and someone named David S. Howard. Yeah, there you go. See, you can win. You're good at it. This feels worse. What's up, buddy? What's up, pal?

We just gave you a participant trophy. You got an award award. Pat on the head. I don't want this. You want to spell something? Do you guys want to throw some donuts at the crowd? Oh, what? Yeah, we still got a minute.

Let's throw some donuts at everybody. Emma Arnold said she injured somebody with a drone. Yeah, yeah. In Seattle yesterday, somebody brought a drone as their name tag and it went all over the place. There you go. Oh, these look like good throwing donuts because they're just plain.

You gotta try overhand, Matt. Try an overhand. This is a bad idea. This is a bad idea. If you're throwing them at the exact same spot. Oh! Oh, there's these over here. Oh!

I'm sorry, I slipped.. Oh, I'm sorry. It slipped. It slipped. I'm sorry. Guys, they're going to have to clean this up. No, they're going to catch them and eat them, Kumail. You don't want to throw it, Kumail? No.

It feels like Hunger Games. You can't even talk. This is how you hire firemen. I'll eat that donut in tribute. Oh, I get to do the last one? The tooch. Love the tooch. When is he ever bad?

Oh, I like that. Oh, and then she smushed it. She made that donut her bitch. More to throw. Oh, they're she smushed it. She made that donut her bitch. More to throw. Oh, they're throwing donuts back. They made these smaller somehow. Oh, donuts. Let's throw some donuts at them.

They had babies. These just look like the same donuts, but now we're giants. Matt Besser sprayed the crowd with donuts. With donut jizz. With glazed spotlight. Well, great job, everybody.

Watch Matt on CISO, because I say so. Donut flying in. Oh, shit. Shit just got ugly. I got a plug. Where am I going to be? I'm going to be in Rosemont, Illinois

at Zany's on Cinco de Mayo. It's my third or fourth annual Cinco de Mayo show at Rosemont, Illinois. DouglasMovies.com And thanks once again to my guests Dana Gould, Kumail Nanjiani, and Matt Besser. Thank you. Really wide range of opinions or statements here

with the shitheads. As always, the person who left their clothes in a communal dryer for over two hours is a shithead. Here's one that might be a little bit more important to people, though. The GOP party is a shithead. the GOP parties. Today's episode was, of course, brought to you in part by Children's Hospital Fridays at 11 on Adult Swim. They take you deep inside the heart and bowels

of TV's most celebrated hospital for children, Children's Hospital, where malpractice makes perfect, where every surgery is a party and every party has a 50-50 chance of recovery. Where complex and often unnecessary procedures are performed by the best-looking doctors

money can buy. With a cast that includes past and future Doug Loves Movies guests Rob Corddry, Rob Hubel, Ken Marino, and then some other people that haven't been on my show, like Lake Bell, and Aaron Hayes, and Henry Bell and Aaron Hayes and Henry Winkler. Yes, Henry Winkler.

When it comes to hospital comedy, Adult Swim has you covered up to 80% if you stay in plan. Watch Children's Hospital Fridays at 11 on Adult Swim. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!