Doug Loves Movies - Kumail Nanjiani, Zach Galifianakis, and Maybe a Third Guest

Episode Date: January 14, 2014

Doug welcomes Kumail Nanjiani and Zach Galifianakis to the show, while a third guest sits in L.A. traffic.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby spit He sees with him he has a popcorn kernel in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Apologies to put your hands together Hey everybody Just thought I'd get it out of the way My name is Doug and I love movies apologies to put your hands together. Hey, everybody. Just thought I'd get it out of the way. My name is Doug, and I love movies.

Hey, Doug, Doug loves movies! What was that person yelling over there? It's so funny that Los Angeles isn't the best at it, but you guys started it. Like it was your idea. And every week it's like, I love my deep movie! Coming to you from the UCB Theater

on Franklin Boulevard in Los Angeles on Tuesday, January 14th, to 20... 2014 Wolf of Wall Street. Thank you to everyone who listened to last Saturday's Tournament of Championships

episode, despite the bad sound and Jeff Garland. I'm sure there's some people who are excited to see and hear Jeff go up against Matt Myra and Ken Jennings in the next level of the competition, and I'll make that happen as soon as possible. Friday night, Vegas. Come on! 25th hour comedy theater.

25th hour comedy theater. It's off the strip. Doesn't sound shady at all. Bring your name tags. Saturday, February 8th, San Francisco. I'll be doing the Benson movie interruption of Twilight New Moon at Sketchfest

sfsketchfest.com to get in there already sold a lot of tickets it's a huge theater, it's too big I mean, last year when we showed the first Twilight it was so much fun someone brought for the prize bag a copy of Thomas Jefferson

The Art of Power laughter it's a Pulitzer Prize winning work a copy of Thomas Jefferson The Art of Power. It's a Pulitzer Prize winning work. Someone brought Sanford and Son, the second season. Yeah, I forgot that I put this in here. I just wanted to wear this. There's a t-shirt we'll talk about in a second

A Douglas Movies t-shirt iTunes gift card for ten bucks You can go and get Benson Interruption Or buy something else Buy a nice record Buy that lady that sings about You should be happy I don't know who to say

Please welcome Kumail Nanjiani, Sean Cullen, and Zach Galifianakis. Thank you. I got a warning before the show started that Sean Cullen is stuck in traffic. Apparently he was on a freeway headed here and they made everybody get off because of a brush fire. So I don't...

What's that? PCH? What the... Is this fucking guy staying in Malibu while he's here? Jesus. Anyway, we'll talk to him about it when he gets here. But Kumail Nanjiani's here, everybody. He made it.

I made it. Yeah. Always great to have you on the programs. You have your own podcast, and that's what this shirt is that you brought. You brought an XL shirt for the indoor kids. Well, I figured. Podcast. It's UCB, so.

Yeah, it's you and your lovely Y family co-host the thing together. Yeah, it's on the notice. It's a video game podcast. Listen to it's you and your lovely Y family co-host the thing together. Yeah, it's on the Nerdist, it's a video game podcast. Listen to it, you know? Yeah, and you guys were, you guys were there

at the interruption of the awards show on Sunday. Can we not say, we can't say the name of it. We try not to. Okay. Now that we've moved on

to another subject, we can talk about the Golden Globes if you'd like. Oh, yeah. I watched it alone in my house, but I did yell at the screen the entire time. It's fun, right?

It's fun. Yeah, and Zach Galifianakis was also there briefly. Was? Yeah, he stopped by. Very nice of everybody to watch. Thank you. It's weird when you have to interrupt, you realize just how boring awards shows are

because nothing is happening and then Jacqueline Bissette happens and you're like, thank God! And that's like 10 minutes into the show. And then everybody else is just talking about how hard it is to talk up there. Yeah, I didn't expect this.

One in five chance. Zach Galifianakis. That's my hat. this? One in five chance. Zach Galifianakis. That's my hat. Been hanging on to it for you. Oh, thanks. Well, can't you just give it to me, not on a podcast? Wait, what's the history

with the hat? You left it at his house? I used to beg for change with this hat. And it would fall right through. It's a visor? Yeah, that was the joke. It's a visual joke? I don't think the listeners knew it was a visor.

Oh, sorry. It's a visor? It's a visor, yeah. Oh, yeah, you never made any money. No. Because he uses his hat to try to catch coins. And it's a visor. Are you talking about this exciting new television project you're doing?

Or is this like a big secret still? No. What was the no to? There were two questions. He's not talking about it. It might not even be a thing. Here, can I talk about it as if it's mine? Sure.

I'm very excited. I have this FX show coming out. Louis wrote and... Louis C.K.? Yeah, Louis C.K. is writing it and executive producing it. I think it's going to be great. Zach, what are you up to? I think it's going to be great.

Zach, what are you up to? Zach brought a copy of The Sanford and Sons second season for the prize bag. Pretty generous gift. Binge watch it. And you tried to binge read this book, but you only got to page 17 page 17 is it is it still marked the page oh i want to read the last sentence that you stopped at the last sentence you ever read of

his biography was and to a circle of men who would change jefferson's life forever you were like i don't need to know more i mean that could not have been a bigger cliffhanger i know yeah i was like, I don't need to know more. I mean, that could not have been a bigger cliffhanger. I know. Sounds like it's his first circle jerk. Who would change Jefferson's life forever. I already know everything past that. I didn't know. Leading up to the circle of men.

I just read about his dad. That's it. Yeah. Once he gets to the circle of men, you're on it. What do you think the circle of men is? Well, yeah. what is it? Could be the 12 apostles. I think that's what it is not.

It's definitely not the 12 apostles. Dude, did you eat one of those pot cookies they were passing out online? That explains a lot. Wait, already? I heard somebody gave out pot cookies to a bunch of people in line. Who did?

Who did? Alright, well, good luck to all of you. I hope you just ate half. So yeah, so Sean's really stuck in traffic, so maybe Kumail, could you read us the last line of every chapter? Yeah, I'm on it Have you been to the movies lately, Kumail?

Wrote Thomas Paine Jefferson could not have agreed more Do you not think an angel rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm? Out of context, very little of it makes sense. Yeah, I've seen a bunch of movies. I saw, my favorite one that I saw recently was Her. I thought that one was great. I really wanted a scene

where he just like fucks his iPhone though, you know? Just like shoves it down his pants, but I thought that one was great, and I thought Wolf of Wall Street was great too. So I've seen the usual ones. I like both of those,. And I thought Wolf of Wall Street was great too. So I've seen the usual ones. I like both of those, yes.

I like them. Zach? Zach, have you ever seen movies? I saw Shrek. The only movie I've seen in like 10 years. What did you think of that one? Shrek. Is that the one with the...

No, that's Shrek the Third. The weight is ogre. I saw the Meryl Streep movie. I saw that one. August. Osage County. Oh, that was Orange County. August, Orange County. No, I saw that, and was Orange County. August Orange County?

No, I saw that, and that's good. Is it? I liked it. Is there a lot of fighting in it? Yeah. A lot of arguing. Yeah, it's good. It's believable.

I thought it was exciting as a play. I thought it was weird as a movie. Yeah. I thought the same thing about Thor. Thor Dark World? Mm-hmm. the same thing about Thor. Thor Dark World? Yeah, it was weird. The sequel to Thor was the one based on a play.

Yeah, the first one. The order of things is very strange in the Marvel Universe. Did you, have you, oh, you really did answer the question. What was the second one

you said? What? August. Oh, I don't know if you know the name. Oh, you really did answer the question. What was the second one you said? What? August. Oh, you just kept saying that one movie over and over again? I think so, yeah. Before that he said Shrek. Shrek and August movie. But that's the only one you've seen lately?

No, I saw Blue Jasmine. Yeah, Blue Jasmine is a movie. Yeah, that's really good. She should win. Did she win anything? She won the Globes. She won a Golden? She won a Golden.

Right after you left yesterday, she picked up the prize. Yeah, she's good. And she hurled it into someone's face sitting in the front row and went to the hospital. Who was it? Meryl Streep.

Oh. Like just in your face type thing? She was just like, fuck you, Streep, and then she threw it. Like, that's how I tell the story. She threw it in someone's face. And then it turns out

Meryl Streep's face. See, this is where we disagree. He thinks it was just anybody. She's just throwing it. I think she targeted Meryl Streep. And so now Meryl can... Meryl, by the way. First name. Can only act in movies where the main

character has a Golden Globes impression on their face. You guys are... Are you being serious? I was looking at my phone for a second there. I checked out for a moment just to see if there's any updates on Sean Cullen. I really find this interesting. Because at 6.39, I was told that he'd just gotten past Westwood.

I don't know where that is. You don't know where Westwood is? No. No. No, I'm joking. It's just right next to Eastwood where Clint lives with his family in that reality show.

Is that reality show called Eastwood's Next to Westwood? No. Wait, what did he say now? No word on whether or not Vivian Westwood lives in Westwood. It's not saying anything. That's the thing that's... So, like, a half an hour ago, he just got past Westwood.

So that sounds like he'd still have been very far at that time. And there's a fire. Something's on fire, right? Well, he got... That's what they're saying is he got off the highway because of a brush fire. Something's on fire, right? That's what they're saying is he got off the highway because of a brush fire. So I just don't understand what highway he was going on that was on fire.

That would make you go into Westwood and would be anywhere near a brush fire. This guy knows the answer, but he keeps saying it's PCH. That's fucking crazy. It's not a brush fire, though. That's also the guy who said 12 apostles. Traffic in Malibu does not affect traffic all the way over from Malibu to here.

The second you leave Malibu, you're no longer involved in Malibu traffic. Welcome to Doug Love's traffic patterns. I'm just going to dissect that for a while. I was just getting really angry because he said, Welcome to L.A. when he's not supposed to be speaking at all. Yeah, that's true. That's a good point. That's not a usual feature here at Douglas Movies,

especially at UCB. The crowds are very polite. I think he's helping. They only get involved when something's wrong. With this PCH shit? Yeah, he's helping, right? Okay. He's helpful.

All right. I'm on his side. What's your name? Mark. Fuck you, Mark. I tricked you into telling me your name so I could personalize the insult. I'm just being serious.

Mark, he's drinking watermelon juice. Everything's great. So, yeah, so I'm in a tough decision here because I want to play the Leonard Maltin game, but it's weird to not play with one of the guests. Let's wait. Let's give it a time and then until that time. 7.20. Five minutes. Doug, what have you seen recently?

Everything. Oh, look. I think he's coming. I can feel it. You think so? You heard Doris? Oh! Oh, boo! Hi! Hey, Sean Cullen is here everybody

Hey Sean, how's it going? I heard the traffic was terrible It was Fuck Malibu, man Have you Written a song about the traffic And how bad it was? Could you perform it for us right now? Yeah, I don't have my guitar

Oh, you usually don't Can you beatbox for me and I'll rap it? Someone beatbox and I'll rap about the traffic. I can't. Good. This is Steve Agee, everybody.

Steven Agee Stevens. I'm doing the next show. I just didn't want to watch you guys suffer anymore. Sean Cullen. I thought you were next show. I just didn't want to watch you guys suffer anymore. Ask Sean Cullen. I thought you were nailing it. Like, we could have really confused the audience for a long time. They're blue.

They're blue. The visor does bring out more blue. Oh, thank you. You have beautiful eyes, Zach. Oh, thank you. You know that. Don't pretend as if it's the first time. First time on a podcast what have you seen A.G.?

what movie did you see? saw them all you did? I think so what was your least favorite? Brave Heart okay I don't mean movies all the way

to the beginning of time oh in all time? not all that movie has some good parts that's the worst movie ever. My least favorite movie of the year? Bling Ring. That movie doesn't really seem targeted

to you, but... Did you have high hopes going in? How high were you going in? I was high going in. I enjoyed it, but it just felt like the trailer encapsulated the movie so beautifully

we could have saved a lot of time just watching the trailer. It's a true story, right? Yeah. Yeah. You know, they broke into

Paris Hilton's house, the real life kids. They shot the movie in Paris Hilton's house. Yeah, and she has they shot the movie in Paris Hilton's house. Yeah, and she has a cameo in the movie. Yeah. Is she playing the person

whose house gets broken into? I think so. Yeah, she's playing Paris Hilton. Oh, she is playing Paris Hilton. And I was watching, like, you see her house

while they're shooting there and you're like, who would have a house, she wouldn't have a house like that, and it's really her house. It's pictures of her everywhere.

Like embroidered pillows. That surprising to you? I would be surprised if she didn't have embroidered pillows. Wait, wait, wait. This is in Braveheart? Yeah. Parasultan plays herself. She's 12. You're like, this one's a star.

Let's play the Lettermon game. Let's play the Leonard Maltin game. Let's do it. We've got three players. If Sean shows up, tell him to just come out here and I'll switch with him. Yeah, he'll sub in. You'll play on his behalf until he gets here. Sure. I love this plan.

Sure. And if he's here right now, let us know. Okay, he's not. Because you're even going to pick a name tag for him. Gentlemen, go select the name tag you would like to play for. There's somebody beating on a drum over there. Well, Steve Agee just has it brought to him. That's clever.

And so does Kumail. Zach's going to take a walk. Does anybody like Thomas Jefferson? Oh. I got out of breath. You went so far. Who are you playing for, Kumail? I'm playing for, it says Malibu Kelly,

which is appropriate given that we've been talking. The sound of one person clapping. I assume you're Malibu Kelly is your name Malibu Kelly? just Kelly and it's a Hunger Games thing but your Twitter name is Malibu Kelly and instead of Hunger Games she scratched it out and wrote Malibu Kelly

so do you get the play on words there? it's her face on there she hungers for games. This is your own face? Yeah. That's right. Fuck you, Mark! Fuck you, Mark is here, everyone.

That's his Twitter handle. Fuck underscore you, Mark. Fuck you was taken. Fuck you, Mark. That's Mark Lynn Baker's Twitter. Who the fuck even knows what I'm talking about? It's the guy from Perfect Strangers. And it's your birthday, right, Kelly?

It's Kelly's birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Who are you playing for, Steve? I'm going to assume your name's Holly? Yep. Yep.

She's got a picture of an AT-AT walkerer and that's you riding it with a holiday sweater. It says Holly Day special. Star Wars. Star Wars holiday special. Yeah. She's a little late. Star Wars is still a thing. I was talking more about the Christmas theme. Yeah, yeah.

I think both are old. It's a good drawing. Yeah. They're both old in a way that makes it charming. Zach? Who are you playing for? It says Stanley on it. Hi, Stanley. That's Stanley.

It's a picture of Bob Barker. Did you take this? Yeah, he took a picture of Bob Barker. Bob Barker's 8x10. Standing in front of the wheel. I spun that wheel, by the way. Because it just sits in storage at the studio when they're not doing prices right.

You can just walk over and spin it. How much does that cost? Like, is it part of a tour? Well, I had to get on the tour, and then I had to run away from the tour. Then I had to pay to get back on the tour. And what's his name again, the guy? Stanley.

Stanley. Stanley. Stanley. All right. Did he actually sign that? That's a name tag for the ages. That's Bob Barker's autograph? Wow.

Oh. I didn't know that. Is Zach going to keep it? Yeah, I'm going to keep this. And it looks like there's a shithead on the back, so if you guys have shitheads on the back of your things, don't reveal them. I love how people are starting using post-its a lot for those.

Nicely done, everybody. All right, we're going to play until Sean will replace... Steve. Steve, is it? Yep. When the time comes. Thank you, Steve, for running in. I was this close to bringing Baseball Jordan up here.

Or Fuck You Mark. Fuck You Mark is here. I'll switch out if you want. Fuck You Mark is here with his... Is that your fuck you wife? Oh, his fuck you wife is... Fuck you baby! She's pregnant!

She's with Fuck You Baby. Oh my god, this guy's gonna be a dad.. She's with fuck you, baby. Oh, my God. This guy's going to be a dad. That baby's the fuck you bus. Are you also drunk? No. Yeah, he's drinking for three. Yeah. Fuck you, Mark.

When's your fuck you baby coming? Cinco de Mayo. Cinco de Mayo? It was either that or St. Patrick's Day. We really wanted to fucking nail the timing. Just really drink that day. Try and forget it. My birthday is very close to that,

so maybe... Excuse me? My birthday is very close to that, so maybe... It was Quake. Excuse me? That was Quake. The other one's Cinco de Mayo, the other one's... He's commenting on my riffs. But he's saying they're good, so I can't be mad at him.

I can be mad at him. It happened like a minute later. All right, good luck to... You've been here before, though, right, Mark? Yeah, yeah, usually not this chatty. This is special. He said he sits in the back usually, so he's still chatty.

We just can't hear him. I'll settle for that. All right, so how was I going to determine the order you guys go in tonight? I guess just to get it over with. Does seem complicated. I don't know how you're going to figure this out, but good luck. Let's start with Kumail and then go to Steve and then to Zach.

Oh, wow. Curveball. Yeah, sure. Okay. But, of course, we'll change the order each time, and Kumail gets to pick the first category. Yes, I do.

You get to choose between the following. Would you like, as suggested by at B-L-G- G-E-R-L-I-N-B-C-N Pretty catchy Twitter handle. I can't believe that wasn't taken. Yeah.

Yeah, there should have been a two at the end of that. The category was suggested Wins in Scrabble and that's movies that start with a W, J, Q, X, or Z.

Okay. W, J, Q, X, or Z. At Bennett Radio suggested Bush vs. Gore and that's slasher movies where you see full frontal nudity. Steve is literally licking his lips next to me. Did you guys see that?

He was like, oh. Daddy like. You're so gross, Steve. At Your Pal Pete suggested Day the Mirth Stood Still and that's movies where a comedian is killed. Yeah. Movies where a comedian is killed. Let me just tell you one quick little hint.

Yes. It's not Watchmen. Okay. All right. Okay. Not Watchmen. It's not the comedian. Let's go with the second one. Bush vs. Gore. Let right. Okay. Not watch. It's not the comedian. Let's go with the second one, Bush versus Gore.

Let's do it. Let's do it. Would you like a movie that has Bush and Gore in it from 1981 or 2009? Oh, let's go 2009. Okay. Steve doesn't like that. It's all right with it. Okay. Steve doesn't like that. It's alright with it. One and a half stars from Leonard.

So he didn't care for this movie. I don't think he's crazy about Bush or Gore, really. In movies. He calls this movie... So is this your first baby fuck you mark first one second how's the first one doing she's still good he said he said she's still good okay he says he says that the an actress in this Deserves some sort of good sport award Because She remains feisty and formidable

During one of the longest displays Of gratuitous nudity in the history of film Oh A lot of bush Just longest display of gratuitous nudity And of course that's the category So that's still not that great of a clue It's 2009

It's also a remake It's a remake Okay And it's Leonard names six actors I bet we know none of these people There is that chance, yes Yeah

Slasher movie from the late 2000s Okay Let's go I'll go six names Okay Steve A slasher movie from the late 2000s? Okay. Let's go. I'll go six names. Okay. Steve? I'll go five names.

Zach, do you remember the order that he had decided earlier? I know what's about to happen, too. I'll do it in ten names. I say to Steve, do it. Yeah, that's what was going to happen. Your names are Kevin Teague. Nope. We know that guy. Dead giveaway.

Yeah, he owned the bar in Roadhouse. Tom Atkins. Betsy Rue Kerr Smith Oh Kerr Smith From Dawson's Creek Yeah I know Kerr Smith

And Jamie King We know Jamie King That's your five out of six names It's a remake 2009 It's got a long ass Intuitous nudity sequence from 2009.

I've definitely seen this movie. You're playing for Sean. You're playing for Canada. I'm playing for Holly. Okay. Her as well. Jeez. I'll go with Hills Have Eyes.

Eyes. The last name was probably not much help. Jensen Ackles. Hills Have Eyes? Eyes? The last name was probably not much help. Jensen Ackles. And the motion picture is called... Is it the Texas Chainsaw remake? No, no. My Bloody Valentine. Oh, yeah.

So Zach's on the board. Zach has a point. Thank you. That's actually a pretty good movie. It's a 3D Valentine movie. It's a 3D Valentine movie. It's the longest nudity scene? Well, they haven't seen Hell Baby. I know, that's what I was going to say. Alright, we're starting with Kumail again,

then we're going to Zach. And Kumail gets to pick between at rock and roll geo, G-I-O suggested, slay anything, and that's movies where John Cusack kills someone. At Rock and Roll Gio suggested Slay Anything. And that's movies where John Cusack kills someone. There's a lot of death and killing in my categories lately. At Uncle Underscore Dirt suggested Captain Full Lips.

Captain Full Lips. You don't need to tell me what that's about. What is it? I don't know. Movies with Liv Tyler. No, Angelina Jolie on a Boat. Movies where Angelina Jolie is on a boat. Captain Full Lips.

Wow. And then at... That's really specific. I love that. At Plainly Zanely suggested The Comedians of Comedy Bang Bang. And that's movies where Patton Oswalt, Brian Poussaint or Zach Galifianakis dies.

Okay. Have you ever died in a movie Zach? Just the career but not the So that goes down to Brian or Patton. Alright so I don't want to do. But she's been on a boat. Angelina on a boat

or John Cusack kills someone. Let's But she's been on a boat. Angelina on a boat, or John Cusack kills someone. Let's go with Angelina on a boat. Captain Full Lips. Yes. Would you like... By the way, I just got that play on words. I just realized it's a play on Captain Phillips. Continue.

I was like, that's a random thing. Captain Full Lips? That's not even a turn on anything. Continue. I was like, that's a random thing. Captain Phillips? That's not even a turn on anything. No, it's a turn on a recent huge movie. Go ahead. All right, you ate up your choosing between two dates time. So the year is 2010. Okay.

And Leonard gives this movie two stars. 2010. He says it's got great stunt work, and he also calls it mindless fun. And he lists nine names. Let's call it eight names. Eight names. I'll go six.

Zach. I'll go six. Zach? Name it. Idiot. You motherfucker. I think I know what this movie is. I have seen a lot of Angelina Jolie movies.

All right. All right, let's try it. Let's see what we got. Try to narrow it down in your head. I'm trying to think of the era. How many names do you

get? Eight. No, six. I got six. All right, your six names are I really want to win.

I think Zach's going to take this thing right now. Wait, wait, wait. What happens if I win? The person you're playing for gets all the prizes in the prize bag. Yeah, there's no other commitments though, right? And you get to do everybody's podcast.

You have to have dinner with them. Oh, cool. Sign me up. That'd be great. Yeah, no further obligation. Okay, just want to make sure It's been a great performance today But it doesn't qualify you for the tournament of championships

I'm doing well though You're doing really good, yeah Really proud of you I'm dying of suspense I'm just trying to give you time to think about it Because Zach is going to win And then we're going to be I'm going to have to apologize to put about it because Zach is going to win and then we're going to be I'm going to have to apologize to put your hands together

it's going to have to start early Steve what do you think it is? Read me the names please Hunt Block What? Are you reading it correctly? Hunt Block. It's a porno. Hunt Block.

Daniel Pierce. August Deal. Andre Brower. Andre Brower was just on stage last night to go on clothes with Andy Sandberg.

Daniel Andre Brauer was just on stage last night to go on clothes with Andy Samberg. Daniel Obuchiski? That's fine. Obuchiski? You don't have to get it right. Obuchiski? I get the vibe of his name. Chetuel Elijah 4

was in this movie. I think is this movie. Ooh, I think is this movie Wanted? Or is it Salt? That's what I thought. It's not Wanted.

Is it Salt? Zach is our winner. Fuck. I think it was Salt. Zach. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. You worked so hard for it, Zach. Thank you.

Just killed it today. Here's a replay of Zach winning it. Name it. Because he's got his lucky visor back, but I can't believe that was your second choice. Salt? Yeah. It would have been great if you said that one

first. No, I know how winning works I know how correct answers work I knew it was Salt or Wanted And I went with Wanted Because I thought Chiwetel was a bad guy in that But I guess he was a bad guy in Salt Oh yeah Fair enough

We did it, you guys. Wait, that's it? That's it? Is Sean here yet? Let's do one more. I don't know what the fuck is going on with, like, why not just say I'm not coming at this point? Well, I think he sort of conveyed that by not coming. What better way to say I'm not coming than do not come? You're right.

No one ever in the history of everything has warned somebody about their inability to show up somewhere. They'll get it. You're thinking of comedians. I am thinking of comedians. And men. Those are the two categories

that don't think they have to text. But also, he shouldn't text and drive, so maybe he's being safe. But he's clearly not driving very fast. I bet you he's not driving his own car. Who's driving it? I think he's in... I think he's coming from LAX in a cab or something.

Ooh. Shit. I should have gone with Salt. Yeah, you should have gone with Salt. Because of that Russian-y sounding name. And Salt, I think... What does Stanley get now? Does he get...

Stanley gets the book? Stanley gets all the prizes in the bag. Wow, Stanley. Are you going to read that book about that president whose name I forgot? Come and get it, Stanley. Congratulations. Oh, it was supposed to... I forgot the whole joke.

Why are you handing this to me? He doesn't get a shithead. He won. Oh, he doesn't. Yeah, yeah. Oh, can I... to... I forgot the whole joke. Why are you handing this to me? He doesn't get a shithead. He won. Oh, he doesn't. Oh, can I... Yeah, give me a... Do we have time to do another fun thing? Sure.

What? Just put that there, and then I'll take the post-it off of this one. It's a pretty good one. Yeah, that's good. this one it's a pretty good one yeah that's good Wow timely yeah we can play another game if you guys if you guys want to do we get a vote Sean here I said if you want to sure he's in town for like four days this is the only deck you know that he could do this show

Well because it's the only day That this show is happening I do Douglas Moody's On other days of the week Oh do you? Yeah yeah You've participated I believe But maybe not

But um It's uh By the way Drunk Mark is out You're never gonna see him again You're raising two kids him again. You're raising two kids on your own. He's what?

He gets pension if he disappears. Oh, you get his pension if he disappears? Yeah. Nice. What does he do? Sounds like they've had some conversations. Yeah. Listen, if I make you disappear, I get the pension. But anyway, my point I was trying to make was

it's very difficult to get Sean on the show. I was very excited he was going to be here. And then this happens. But Steve, thank you for jumping in there. Woo! The show really needs three guests or two guests that aren't these guys. Why?

Zach looks great by the way. Right? You look like you've lost some weight. Yep. Thank you. Beautiful eyes. Let's play another game. Okay. Let's play a round of

Last Man Stanton, a.k.a. the Seth Rogen game. Okay. Last Man Stanton aka the Seth Rogen game Okay While Drunk Mark is gone we will ask Mrs. Drunk Mark to name a Oh, he's back Yep, you're not gonna get the

windfall that his pension would have been Dude makes a lot of money in the blank hat industry yeah it is and the canvas of it is so huge there could have been five logos there and underneath it okay go ahead There could have been five logos there. And underneath it. Okay, go ahead.

What are we doing with Mrs. Drunk Mark? I thought this show was going to be an extra long one because with you and Sean... Talking? Whatever. And I thought it was going to be extra long. It's so funny that I'm in stretch mode now yeah

so surprised by it so it's really weird but let's play this game so now we'll ask Mark and Mrs. Mark to we need

an actor an actress or a director with a you know large body of work like that's been in a bunch of movies

or made a bunch of movies Tom Hanks Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks we've done before. By the way, I was going to ask if you were expecting earlier but I realize that's the worst thing

you can do. No. Nope, just love donuts. What's that? Yeah, two of you are having it. This kid's really... Yeah, he's having...

It's gonna work out great. Sympathy pregnancy brain. Will Smith. Okay. Will Smith, I like it. He hasn't done very much. All right, let's go. All right, Will Smith, we take turns starting with you, Kumail,

naming Will Smith movies until we can't do it anymore. Independence Day. That's a Will Smith movie. Steve? What do I do now? Just name a Will Smith movie. Name any Will Smith movie. Oh, I'm Robot.

Yep. What do you got, Zach? Something of Bel-Air. It was one of his early films. It was a long movie, right? It ran like five years. It was Merchant Ivory Wayans. So you give up already?

No, name one. I got one. Let's see. I Am Legend. Yes, that's mine. I'm going to go with Hancock. Oh. Yeah, something today reminded me of that. Okay.

I'll go with pursuit of hopinus. Because it's with a Y for some reason. Yeah it's spelled wrong. Wait yeah Y that's right. Yeah. Hopinus. Oh I get you. Yeah okay. That would be a typical misspelling of that word when you're young. Is that what it is? I thought his name was like Jason Happy. And so it was like, you know when they do that? I guess it's not. Go ahead.

Steve? Bad Boys 2. Really teeing one up for Zach over there. Bad Boys 2. Bad Boys 3. Bad Boys 3. So Zach is out. No, I was kidding. Oh, okay.

I'm not even going to use Bad Boys. Oh, you're not? No, because I think it's a trap. Okay, what are you going to... What could the trap be? Will Smith wasn't really in Bad Boys. Yeah. You didn't know that, Camille? Six Degrees of Separation.

I should have saved that one. Shit. Don't say Bad Boys, Camille. Please. Don't say it. Yeah, he can't say it because I'm saying it. Bad Boys.

Fuck. Camille. How is it that he's done hundreds of movies and I can only... He did one with his son like yesterday it came out. Oh, Nepotism? Was that the name of it?

By the way, can I mention, I was at my... No, you can't. Okay, I want to say this real quick. Now we're going to be late. Okay, I was in North Carolina with my mother-in-law. And you're stalling. My mother-in-law referred to Will Smith as Jada Pinkett's husband. She was in that movie that Jada Pinkett's

husband was in. I was like, Will Smith? Oh, shit. He was gonna be in Django, but then he wasn't. Oh, give me seven of those and I'll give you a point. Okay. Uh...

He was gonna be Reagan in Lee Daniels the bugger. Might have been closer than Alan Rickman's version. You're out. I'm out. Okay, Steve. Ali. Yeah. Zach.

Oh, God. It was a TV show No I'm not I'm not saying that one But it was a movie based on a TV show About And they had robots in the west You can't help

That's the name of it isn't it What Robots in the west That whole sentence Do you know what I'm talking about Yeah and Steve's gonna say it next When it's his turn again name of it isn't what what robots a whole west that whole sentence yeah do you know what I'm talking about yeah yeah and he's gonna say it next when it's his turn again you won't oh okay I'm gonna say it I'm gonna get it over with give me a give me something give me a

hat you said part of the name of yourself in it you've said part of the name of the movie. Western? Did you say it was wild at all? Wild, wild, let's go wild. Let's walk in. Wild, wild, let's go wild. Let's go wild. The hit Will Smith movie about robotic spiders. All right, well, since you're out,

since I'm next, I'll say Wild Wild West. Steve? Bad Boys. I already said it. Oh, you did? Yeah, yeah. Men in Black. Okay, Men in Black 2.

Men in Black 3? There was a third one back there. After Earth. Oh, that's the fucking one After Earth That's the one with the sun Um Worm

Bud I don't know I think I'm done Nothing I've got one more Made in America With Whoopi Goldberg And Ted Danson.

I win. You win. Nothing. Oh, man. Fun game, though. Which ones did we miss? Hitch. Jersey Girl.

By the way, yeah, this guy yelled out Shark Tale. Where? Oh, that's right. That the way, yeah, this guy yelled out Shark Tale. Where? Oh. That's right? That's correct? Yeah, sure, but it's like, that's not the first one you think of. No, they were filling in the ones we didn't. What else?

What else? Bagger Vance, Legend Thereof. Legend of Baggy Pants. Great movie. Seven Pounds. That's a good movie. You like that? Is he in it?

I don't know seven pounds at all. No, it's good. Is it the real series? It's serious. It's serious. It's the sequel to 21 Grams. I liked it. Doug, you didn't like it?

I don't remember liking it, no. That's what's important. It was a little, I don't know. It was a little... I don't know. It was heavy. Very heavy. I like to see him coming and go, Hey!

I'll tell you how to get a date. Please, Hitch, tell us how to do it. Anchorman 2. Motherfucker. Yeah, that's a spoiler and a correct answer. I guess that's been out long enough. Thank you to all of my guests. Zach Galifianakis, Steve Agee

filling in for Sean Cullen didn't make it at all, I guess. And Kumail Nanjiani! Yeah! I just want to win. I really wanted to win I've never won Douglovesmovies.com for all my dates, deets and links We're ending only one minute over

So a small apology to the Hands of Pudding Together Time show And as always Ben Schwartz's improv shirt is a shithead Okay If you say so. And of course, Drunk Mark is a shithead.

Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his view, his prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.