Doug Loves Movies - Laurie Kilmartin, Chad Opitz and Johnny Taylor Jr guest

Episode Date: January 1, 2024

Live from the Punchline in Sacramento, Doug welcomes Laurie Kilmartin, Chad Opitz and Johnny Taylor Jr to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeamish, sticky seats With 50 heads of love for colonels in his seat There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey everybody. My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug's Movies. That's pretty good.

You're a little slow over there. Nice try. Recording in front of a live audience on Saturday, December 30th, 2023 at the Punchline in Sacramento, California! This is the 17th episode we've taped at this wonderful club. That number is just a guess, but it feels right. Before I bring out my guess, let me tell you about the prize box. Yeah, today it's a box. It looks like a jack-o-lantern situation, but it's from a company called Melk

that over the holidays some nice people that I know sent me this box. It was full of cookies, and I was like, that's a cool box that someone might enjoy. Let's put something in it after I ate all the cookies. So, it's mostly, it's a prize package for a stoner. I'm gonna be honest with you. I hope it goes to somebody who could put it to good use, but of course anybody can win today. But several items from Hemper, who sends monthly boxes out to people who subscribe.

This is a really cool grinder slash container. This is a little ghost guy that when you're staying in a hotel room smoking weed, you blow your smoke into this guy. He holds it in, takes it all in, and the room doesn't smell like weed so much. I say so much because if it's good weed, there's only so much this little ghost guy can do. This is really fun. This is a clutch. This is a thing where it's a pipe that you can also store your weed in.

You carry your weed around in it and then put it into part of it and then smoke it. We got some Douglas movies stickers. We got a Doug Benson pin and a Douglas movies pin. And then, you know, it's the holiday season. So a little candy canes, but here's my, here's my favorite thing that's in here. It's so dumb. I had Chinese food recently delivered. And there's an absolutely sealed package

with no fortune cookie in it. Like that feels like a good luck thing or something that I should pass on to other people. Like I didn't get a cookie or a fortune. Just the packaging. so that's in there for no reason just to get rid of it really this is some of my garbage that I decided to fly with to Sacramento on a very bumpy flight yesterday so that's that's what I do for you people

they sit in a bumpy flight they're not going going to crash. It's way up there. It's just bumping around. Think of it like waves on the ocean before you drown. There we go. That's the prize bag. Time for dunk plugs. Dunk plugs.

Everybody loves them. Tuesday night, January 2nd in Los Angeles, the Benson movie Interruption is back at the Dynasty Typewriter. On Saturday, January 6th at 420, Doug Loves Movies returns to the Improv in Orlando, Florida. And Doug Loves Movies is back at the Improv

in L.A. on Tuesday, January 6th. For all my dates and dates and links, go to DougLovesMovies.com. That's DougLovesmovies.com. Yeah! Ka-bomb! Want it! Shh!

That's my dance. Ha-ha! Nailed it! Well done, Sack. Ready for your first guest today? Yeah, you heard me. First guest today. A little bit of a change up in the format today. Give it up everybody for Lori Kilmartin!

Hey Lori, grab a mic and a seat and thank you for joining us today. I'm thrilled to be here. You have two shows here at the Punchline tonight. Yes, the first one is in two hours. Yeah, in which you're the headliner. Yes. And you like to be a fancy headliner and look good for the shows. So when I asked you to do the show, you were like, well, do I have to stay the whole time? Because I got my shows to get ready for. I was like, no, let's do a little segment with Lori at the beginning of the show and then she can go get ready. What do you think of that? I want to point out that we had this discussion earlier. He isn't looking at me and deciding, wow, she needs to. You know what? Lori, you need some time.

You need a nap, a spa, whatever. You know, what I realized is this hits right in the time where I start doing my hair and my makeup and binding my feet and all the prep I do for a show. My 420 shows basically just keep me from having a nap at 420. I have to stay awake because I have a show. That's how it usually works out. But yeah, so you're headlining tonight. Is anybody coming back to see Laurie tonight?

Just clap. That's great. I heard a couple genuine movies. There were some genuine ones over there. I jumped the gun on that. Already it's worth it. I've gained two audience members. I should have let it breathe.

I was worried there would just be silence. But, you know, because people listen. There's a lot of things to do these days, and thank you for taking the time out to be here. There's a mattress store just down across the hall. I can't believe they come to the club. I can't believe anybody comes to this club, because when you're in this mall,

there's so many exciting things to do. You can get a mattress. You can get a cupcake. That's pretty much it. But I haven't been here like a year and a half and all of a sudden there's a Nordstrom's Rack. There's like so much here. It was rather barren for about two decades. Yeah, things have been kind of coming and going for a while.

It was just mattresses and cell phones, which I like to say was a one-stop shopping for pimps. But yeah, it's always evolving. And it's how about Arden Mall, but they've cleverly, you know, in the day of hashtags, they've shortened it to hashtag HBA. And there's no goddamn way anyone out in the real world is using hashtag HBA about anything. I got a cupcake today.

Hashtag HBA. When they gave this place How About Arden 40 years ago, it seemed pretty optimistic. And, you know, hey, how about it? Hey, how about trying How about it yeah it's just a very like we don't really commit to anything you know we're not we're not serious here how about on any it's just fun and it has a Starbucks that for my money is the winner of the most always a line of cars at the drive-thru Starbucks on

the planet. There's always a line out there that I watch while I get high after the shows. Yeah, it's crazy. So we're here to talk about movies today, Lori. So before we let you go... This has been such a quick interview.

Yeah. You gotta get out of here. You got things to do. So, but, you know, we'll talk about this for a minute or two. Okay. What was your favorite movie of this last year? We're wrapping up the year.

All right. I have watched it twice. There's a lot of debate about this movie. The first time, I took my son to it because I didn't realize what it was about. Okay. And that movie is called Salt Burn. Right. And when I...

Wait. Just back up a second. When you thought it was okay for your son, at that point, what did you think it was about? Because I put it in my head i confused it with salt bae and i thought it was a like a chef movie and it turns out it's got some of the most deviant sex scenes that i've ever encountered gotta be weird sitting next to your child extremely well barry keoghan the out of a graveside or whatever the fun like he just helps the dirt yeah that i mean that was to me less embarrassing than when he um sniffs and licks semen before it goes down the bathtub drain

he goes crazy on that bathroom drain though like he was clean in like two seconds and he keeps going and going. Like, God, I gotta keep, you know, this, oh, it's really brutal. Right. A lot of you have seen Salt Bird. I'm sure this conversation's gonna turn that around. But it's honestly, it's an incredible, what she- You saw it again without your son in it.

Well I had a screener so I watched it again and- Oh no. Well no, actually it's on Amazon Prime. Yeah, there you go. So if you're Prime, and I do, I'm kind of true to what you've heard about me. Yeah, I mean the performances are incredible. Rosamund Pike is great. Like it's great performances, it's beautiful, it's lush it takes place in it a gigantic old castle mansion in in

England that hasn't been used ever in a movie before and they film some stuff at Oxford so it's gorgeous the name of the real mansion because they you know in the movie the mansions called salt burn right I don't know the name of the actual one it's probably not that if you you have a search engine, you can find it. Yeah, yeah. Yes. But I recommend it, but not with your 17-year-old son.

I can't. You got through the whole thing, though. Yeah, I mean... Even the crazy dick dancing at the end? That, that... Spoiler!

That was such an incredible dance. And for me, like last... I think it's step for step the same dance that Hugh Grant does in Love Actually. Really? Yeah, but naked. For me, when... So this Christmas, I was alone for Christmas.

And it was the first time I'd been completely alone in my house since 2016 when my mother moved down with me. So she's always been there and then she died and then you guys should have come to my show tonight I've had a son and a dog since then and there's always paws or feet at my house and put the dog in a kennel because I thought I was gonna have work over Christmas and I needed to reserve in advance so I was just alone for like four days in the house and I did feel like I may have danced not that naked but I did what for

me is a version of the naked penis dance because I could finally you had the opportunity just were inspired yeah but. But Barry Keoghan. I didn't love that movie, I have to say, but I understand people that do like it. It's very well made in all the things you said. Yeah. Rosamund Pike's very good. Richard E. Grant, you know, he's always a delight,

so it's fun to see him in it. And there's like a maze. There's like one of those, you know, old hedge mazes that the English love so much and a lot of shit happens in that maze it's it's just visually quite beautiful oh and yes speaking of things that are beautiful people seem to like that Jacobi Lordi quite a bit yeah he's like right there next to weird Barry Keoghan those are age-inappropriate feelings for me, but I still have them.

Yeah, what are you going to do? Just have to accept yourself. Exactly. All right, let me write down Salt Burn as your number one movie of 2023. It might be the last scene movie of 2023. Favorite last scene from a movie. Yeah, you have to list a bunch of 2023s for me to jump up but that one is just in my head a lot right now yeah oh that's what happens that's why the awards are the award season or whatever like it's structured so that the quote unquote important artsy movies

yeah come out this time of year so that they can win awards and then coax more people into the theater watch it i. I saw Poor Things recently and it's, don't watch that with your son. Thank you, I wouldn't have known that. Yeah, no. I do want to see that. It's fun and has a lot of cute parts, but it's also, you see a lot of, you see constant Emma Stone parts. Oh yeah, if you want to see Emma Stone naked, this is the movie for you. Unfortunately she has like a unibrow and the mentality of a child, so try to find that sexy. Really? Oh wow. Yeah, it's a Frankenstein take where she's got a child's brain and dudes still want to have sex with her.

Yeah, it's horrifying and horrible and don't take the kids. But why did I bring that up? Oh, because it's getting so much accolades. The ads for it say that people are calling it the best film of the year. And the audience I saw it with, I did not feel like they felt that way about it. I felt like they were not that into it. And when I say the audience,

I mean, I saw it was like six other people in the room. But Lori, I know we got to let you go. So yeah, dude, if you love something, let it go. And, but this is exciting. I've got two other guests scheduled for today that will join us shortly. But before Lori goes, I would like her to pick from the audience her replacement. Someone in the audience, preferably someone as much like Lori as possible. Like a lady would be good. The other guests are dudes. Yeah, you don't have to act like her, but the other guests

are dudes, so I'd love to have a woman up here. So if there's any women that would like to be considered, raise your hand if you'd like to be a guest on the rest of the episode. Play the games. Chat the chat. Nobody even wants to. Wait, wait, wait. Here we go. There's a lady over there.

Yeah, she's pointing out there was one lady over there. Oh, yeah? What's your name, ma'am? Jodi. J Here we go. There's a lady over there. Yeah, she's pointing out there was one lady over there. Oh, yeah? What's your name, ma'am? Jody. Jody? Yes. What would you want to ask somebody to replace you, Lori?

What's your question for Jody? Jody, oh, gosh. Well, you know, I had a manicure on Tuesday, and it's already destroyed. You know, I had a manicure on Tuesday and it's already destroyed. Do you have any tips for me on how to do this lady nail stuff? Because I've never done it before. I've never, I had to for a photo shoot. No, because I used a like 10-year-old Emery board to take the shaggy edges off.

You know what? Hang on a second. She's the only contender anyway. She's the only person to raise her hand. Come on up here and have this conversation. Bring your drink if you're drinking something. Okay, she's finished. So great, you're already drunk. Perfect. But grab a mic and finish what you were saying to Lori about tips. Is it quick?

Yeah, hold your time. tips yeah I can't give you any tips because I said I used a ten-year-old emery board which actually my teenager took a little chunk off of to do something for a craft project to take the shaggy edges off of one of my fingernails before we came today so I cannot give you anything other than that okay so we're spirit animals other than that. Okay, so we're spirit animals. And I take your child to sulfur. That's my only advice. What's your last name, Jodi? Reeves.

Jodi, J-O-D-I? Yes, oh my gosh, yes. No one ever gets it right. Oh, really? Have they ever been to Lodi? Always with a Y, always. And then what's your last name if you don't mind sharing? It looks like Rives. R-I-V-E-S. But you say it Reeves. Oh, I see.

Like George Reeves and the Cannibals. R-I-V-E-S, but it's pronounced Reeves, like all the great Supermans and Herculeses. Alright, awesome. You're officially Laurie Kilmartin's replacement. Let's hear it everybody for Laurie Kilmartin. Have a great first night, Laurie. And Happy New Year. And also thanks for

Laurie is why there's a humidifier on stage. I forgot to mention it to her. She likes that during her... It's an air purifier. Air purifier. For during her stand-up sets she feels safer being around all these coughing lunatics. You know, especially here in SAC, you know, it's the meth capital, so most audience members are coughing all the time. You guys are accepted.

Alright, Jodi Rives. Just getting it all wrong. Jodi Reeves is our third guest. You want to meet the other two, everybody? Keep it going for Chad Opitz and Johnny Taylor Jr. Wow. Hey, guys. I'm just busy writing down Jody's name

and all the places where I'll need to be able to know Jody's name. But let's start off. Of these two gentlemen, the first two we're going to speak to, the first one we're going to speak to is, oh, a frequent guest on this show. I don't know if he's been on 17 times, but it certainly feels like it. I don't know when he first somersaulted into our lives, but I'm glad he did. It's Chad Opens, everybody! Hi, Chad Opens. How long do you think it's been since the first time you appeared on this program?

It was December 2017. What? Really? I distinctly remember, yeah. on this program it was December 2017 what really and so do you think my guesstimate is right about 17 appearances in the interim I don't know if it's that many but it's at least a dozen I think yeah I like it and how are you doing today buddy doing solid it's always good to be here in Sacramento yeah well you made the move down to LA and had to drive all the way back up today, but it wasn't bad. It was not bad. No traffic. It was very nice. Yeah, you drove fast and not furious.

I'm Vin Diesel-like. Well thank you for being here, Chad. Also joining us today, making his Doug Loves Movies debut, it's Sacramento comedy phenom johnny taylor jr thanks so much for having me i'm very excited i'm kind of nervous but uh it's good to be here i'm a little intimidated really by what my jody i should mention uh I'm just glad Jody and I it's our first time we're popping our cherry together Keith Lowell Jensen was on this show and it did not go well he's one of my best friends I'm actually scared but he is very annoying yeah So it makes sense. Yeah, I just didn't...

Yeah, it was unexpected. Sometimes I'll have a guest on just based off of everybody here at the Punchline loves him and all recommended him and he came on and we just didn't like you said but I didn't use that exact word but you're friends with him so you can.

I mean, he's one of the more annoying people on the planet so it does track. I wish I had read it by you before. I wish you were the person I had spoken to. Can I say, great comic. Nice person, but yeah, he can grape. Oh yeah, super nice person.

I got along with him great off of here. Absolutely. I totally agree with that. Okay, so we got to back up here a little bit and we got to find out what each of you would pick as your favorite film of the past year we'll start with you Chad I almost was gonna go with Laurie mentioned salt burn that's up there for sure yeah you love that i actually watched that like recently like a double feature did you bring a child with you no i know i heard i heard the rumors about old barry's hog but i watched a double feature with barbie that same night

and barbie and that movie both excellent excellent Barbie no genitals salt burn heavy on the genitals but I would say my overall favorite probably the barbunheim you did barbenheimer but you swapped out one movie so you said you did Bernie yeah Barbie burned salt barney salt barney barbenhub salt on the barbie another one I saw recently I really liked was The Holdovers. I'm going to go with that one. Oh, The Holdovers is Paul Giamatti. And they sent me a box of stuff, including like a sweatshirt from the school that's depicted in the film.

But I haven't seen it yet. It's great. But I've given away Holdovers stuff on the show. It's great. I've given away Holdover's stuff on the show. It's excellent. I really recommend that. Alexander Payne. Alexander Payne. Who just, out of the gate, like Citizen Ruth, Election,

like he's just, he's solid. Like I've only disliked maybe one of his movies. He's very consistent. Nebraska's another one I love. Yeah, yeah. Black and white, Nebraska's very consistent. Nebraska's another one I love. Yeah, yeah. Black and white. Nebraska's so fun. Alright, wait. So what's your answer? Holdovers.

Alright. I forgot because you said the other thing about the other thing. Alright, so you're going Holdovers. Alright, let's go to first timer. Jodi Reeves. What was your favorite movie of the last year can I do one that's on like a streaming platform sure it's a movie it's funny because when I was at that table I was like oh when he asked Lori Kilmartin what's the favorite movie that you saw I was like oh I have a favorite movie that I saw but it's on a streaming

platform I don't know if that would work but also I couldn't think of the name of it which is unfortunate and I was like know if that would work. But also, I couldn't think of the name of it, which is unfortunate, and I was like, well, if I was gonna really be on the show, I would've looked him up, which of course is a problem. So anyway, if anybody can help me out. What is it? The Michael Peña movie about the first astronaut

that had an agricultural farm background. Did anybody see it? Oh, is that Shit Farmer? Was it Citizen Teen? It was on Hulu. Somebody's looking it up out there. I can see it. Or just taking this moment to check in with friends. What, 30 miles away?

A million miles away? Yes, and it was so good. That's so much more than 30. No semen surfing, and also you can take your kids. So... 30 miles away. Oh, then I'm out. It was so good.

So good. Wait, it's called A Million Miles Away? Yeah. Okay. I mean, I love that dude. So like, I'm kind of into it, but I don't like, you know, astronaut movies so much, you know astronaut movies so much you know because they you know even in exciting scenes and astronaut movies they're moving like this.

It's very light on the astronaut and really heavy on the six-year-old agricultural farming migrant child having these big aspirations. Okay good. So it is really really great. I love it. I would not recommend is Leave the World Behind. People are shitting all over Leave the World Behind. Like it's the worst thing they ever saw. It's not the worst thing I've ever seen because the Eric Bana Hulk exists.

Listen to Judy go. Eric Bana listens to this show, ma'am. But it just really was not good.am. But it is, it just really was not good. And then when it ended, we were like, what? So you were hating it and then it had a shitty ending

on top of that. That's all. Yeah, I can see why people are so mad at that movie. Because it does seem like the kind of movie that like, maybe it can go ahead and suck all the way

if the ending is like, you know, really hits you over the head. You know, like The Mist or something. But the fact that this was like terrible, like you even made it to the end and then hated the end, that's really a kick in the teeth. Like when you sat through the whole thing and then they go, yeah, well, fuck you. Now, do some people love it? A lot of you love Leave the World Behind. I always feel bad why it goes so hard. I haven't seen it, but it goes so hard against things sometimes and people are sitting right there going,

who's got so bad? But you know, it's something for everybody, right Johnny? I agree. What's your number one for 2023? It's Leave the World Behind. It was hot. You know know i love terrifier too i'm a horror guy i don't know if anybody out there looks for i also love infinity pool another great but i gotta say just saw the iron claw you're into wrestling to begin with i'm a wrestling guy uh but yeah i saw it i saw it

the best way too i saw it in vegas at the west wind driving and uh just absolutely if you're gonna cry in your car that's the way to do it yeah it's wasted in traffic you gotta do it after a bad set you cry and uh you cry in the car during the Iron Climb. Really, really good. Super strong. Yeah, I saw it, and it's insane how terrible a lot of their lives were. It's this family that is in wrestling, but just has tremendous bad luck. But everyone starts to treat it like they're cursed.

Right. And so the movie's like, you know, it's not one of those big, you know, sports movies that has a big triumphant ending. No. Per se, but you still manage to walk out of there feeling pretty good, I think. You feel glad that at least one of them stayed alive.

Everybody dies. I mean, spoiler alert, one person makes it out alive in this movie. I mean, that's what this wrestling family was known for, was just all these terrible things that happened to them. And so to see it depicted in a movie, it's rough, but also they do a good job with it because you don't leave there going, oh, fuck, what the fuck was that?

You know, it's like it does, there's triumph in the end, in a sense. Right. My girlfriend, the movie ends, and she just looks at me, she goes, well, that wasn't funny at all. No, it wasn't. I mean, she's just like,

that guy from The Bear is usually a laugh riot yeah that Jeremy Allen White uh he's uh he really got in uh I mean they all got in such wrestling mode Zac Efron and then a couple actors I wasn't familiar with but they're really good because like to have to do the wrestling to a certain extent obviously they had doubles and stuff but they still do a lot of it I think yeah boy steroids I saw Jeremy always like yeah they gave us two months to get ripped I'm like you did that in two months you have some help playboy yeah for sure for sure Zac Efron's like a different person now I don't know if he's gonna morph back to regular Zac

he's like a perfect square yeah he really is he's lego it's the lego version of him he looks like fucking Max Hendrick yeah no like in that, like, has to move his whole body to look at something. Like, it's just really, like, just this block of human. It's crazy. Alright, so, Holdover's Iron Claw and something about

farming. A million miles away. Those are our three picks, plus Laurie's pick of Salt Burn. So that's a lot for people to choose from if you're looking for a great movie to end your year with, or begin your year with, because this episode's coming out on New Year's Day. We've got to take a break. We'll be right back.

We are back Alright You know what, let me do that again It should be applause first And then me saying we are back That'd be weird Just let the other commercials hear me say that And then people saying we are back. It would be weird if the other commercialist said, you and me say that. And then people applaud. I mean, I guess it would work. But let's do it the other way in case my producer wants to fix me.

We are back! Now I don't even know what I do anymore. I don't remember what order I do it in. Thank you Sacramento for getting me too high for this. Alright, so during the break we picked name tags. Chad is playing for Maddie Python and the Holy Grail. John is playing for a very mysterious lady who we will simply call Mika-chun. And Jody is playing for Kevengers.

Kevin changed an Avengers poster to say Kevengers. Good luck to everybody. The first game we're gonna play today is something I already, I mean I just came up with. It's a brand new game, might probably play it only one time because it's called New Year's Eve the Movie. Yeah. Oh I guess I should have done that.

Okay, so it's called Losing the Movie. We start with Chad, and then we'll go to Jody, and then to Johnny, because we did some quick first name alphabetization. And also, they're sitting in that order anyway, so it all really worked out perfectly. So we'll start with Chad, and basically, Chad, what I'd like you to do... Each of you are going to take turns naming cast members from Gary Marshall's New Year's Eve from 2011. If you don't know for sure who was in that movie, guess. Because it's got lots of stars and even more semi-stars. So you could just take a shot and get lucky if you're not that familiar with the cast of New Year's Eve. And of course with the follow-up to Valentine's Day, also a huge all-star cast. But only one or two people from that one made it into New Year's Eve.

Chad, did you see this movie? Absolutely not. Do you have a feeling for the kinds of movie stars that would be in a movie like this? Kinda, but I'm gonna go with somebody who's in I think every Gary Marshall movie. Not as well known, but that's

who I'm going with because I think he's in almost every one is Hector Elizondo. That is correct! You are a clever boy! Hector Elizondo was in every Gary Marshall movie and was like his lucky actor that he used all the time just like how Scorsese feels about DiCaprio. Not quite. He's worked with other people. I mean, Hector Elizondo's in Pretty Woman. He's the manager of the hotel, who at first is like, get out, whore. And he's like, oh, she seems nice. Steady, whore. And then later he's like, I'm gonna miss you, whore. It's really sweet.

He's real sweet. He's the heart of the movie, really. Not Richard Gere. Okay, so you're on the board, Chad. Congratulations. But we gotta keep going. Jodi, can you remember anybody that was in New Year's Eve? I have not seen it, just in four minutes. I'm counting on that for all three of you.

I think that's part of the fun. I'm going to take the wild guess, and I'm going to pull another. This is about Hector Elizondo, who's who I was going to pull. But I'm going to pull from Runaway Bride. I'll pull Christopher Maloney. He was in Runaway Bride? He was. Neat.

Not in this. I'm sorry to say, because that was a terrific guess. Johnny, what do you think? I also was going to go with Hector Alessandro. That's a lie. I have no idea who Hector Alessandro is. He's the guy in Pretty Woman that ran the hotel. The portals.

I know that much now due to recent city um was anne hathaway in new year's day i'm not asking you to ask me who was in it i'm just asking you to just guess and i'll tell you no she wasn't but that's a terrific guess it It really is. Back to you, Chad. I love that none of them have seen this movie. I really thought I planned that. I'm gonna guess. When was it coming out? What year did it come out? 2011. I'm gonna guess. I don't think. Jason Sudeikis?

I love it! No! Jodi? I'm gonna try Gary Marshall's daughter, Carrie...Kennedy Marshall? Kathleen Kennedy Marshall? Well, I mean, that's fucking cheating, but yes. I didn't even write her name down. I'm like, who's gonna say that? Who's gonna say Gary Marshall's daughter? Good call, Jody.

Johnny, you're fucked, little girl. This is just the first game. This is just the first game. You can't throw in the towel now. It's only gonna get harder. Oh my god. No, it's only gonna get harder. Oh my God. Name a famous actor or actress you really would have a decent shot.

It's crazy, this cast of people. Was Ben Affleck in it? He should have been, but no. God damn it. Chad? Oh my God. Emma Stone. See, that's fun fun the way you just used guests a perfectly reasonable guess that is wrong Jody Hugh Grant

no D I'm gonna go with Chris O'Donnell Oh great Paul no. He's too busy fighting crime with LL Cool J. Jen? Diane Keaton. Oh, that's another good guess. Not on the list. This is like guessing who was at the Academy Awards last night. I don't know. Jodi?

Another runaway bride. Oh, Rita Wilson. Oh, that's a terrific guess, but no. Johnny? Diane Lane. No. Chad? We're going to go until somebody gets one.

I'm going to take it. Rupert Everett. No. Julia Roberts. No. She Roberts. No. She was a Valentine's Day though, so that's a good guess. Matt Damon. No.

Ashley Judd? No. I love how fast this is going. Sally Field. No. Everybody's gonna say Fields. Johnny. Man.

Fuck. Zac Efron. That is correct! That's an iron claw. I know perfectly that the star of your favorite movie of the year, that we already talked about earlier today... Okay, so now we have a three-way tie. And now I'm serious.

The first person to get another one right wins this game. Chad? Oh my god. Robert Prosky. You're so weird. No. Joni? Helen Mirren. No. Emma Thompson.

Oh, I had to double check that one one that felt real the way you said it no Bill Nighy Tony Richard Gere uh-oh maybe we won't go until somebody comes to our show. Paul Giamatti. I'm so grateful that Paul Giamatti hasn't appeared in some shit like this. I mean, there's a lot of good actors, but it's all definitely people that would appear

in something like this. Back to you, Chad. Jeffrey Rush? Are you really trying to name famous people that they put on a poster to get people to come see a shitty rom-com about a holiday? Nobody wants to see a movie about it. Jodi. Um, just out of my dear love for him, Tom Cruise. Okay, after Johnny, I'm gonna give everybody a clue. A group clue, and then we'll see what happens. But Johnny, go ahead. Kristen Heigl.

Shit! Wait! Shit! That was close. What's her actual name? Katherine Heigl. Yes! You did it! Oh my god, I was inevitably throwing a measure to make this go quicker, but that took care of it. Johnny Taylor Jr. won that game. With the old Kristen Heigl. So here's the clue I was going to give Chad, see what you come up with.

It has two different, extremely famous, well-known, one-word male rappers one word go exactly Johnny go Kanye no he's got both names he's not a one name gang Johnny! DMX. Those are letters. The other one's Common. Yeah, Common and Ludacris are both in that movie. That is so Common and Ludacris. Alright, I'm gonna run through it really quick. Abigail Breslin, Alyssa Milano, Ashton Kutcher, Carla Gugino, Carrie Elwes, Cherry Jones Common, Halle Berry, actor Elizondo, Hilary Swagg, Jessica Biel, Jim Belushi, Joey McIntyre, John Lithgow, Jon Bon Jovi, Josh Duhamel,

Lea Michele, Ludacris, Matthew Broderick, uncredited, Michelle Pfeiffer, Penny Marshall, Bobby DeMero, Russell Peters, Ryan Seacrest, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sarah Paulson, Seth Meyers, Sofia Vergara, Till Schweiger, and Zach Evrod. Good cast. The ones I was going to write down. I didn't write down that one, Jody said. So everybody's doing a great job.

Everybody's very competitive at this point. And we're gonna go right into our next game and it's called The Little Search Engine That Could. I typed a word into the search engine on IMDB and then wrote down the top seven movies with that word in the title. And the three of you are going to take turns guessing movies that you think it might be. If the movie you name is number one on the list, you get seven points. If the movie you name is number seven on the list, you get one point. And, of course, there's all the points available in between. And we're starting with Johnny. Well, let's all the points available in between.

And we're starting with Johnny. Well, let's reverse the order. We'll go Johnny, Jody, Chad. Johnny, tell me what you think might be the number one or in the top seven movies on the Internet Movie Database today, this very moment, that have the word happy in the title as a nod of course to everyone having a happy new year what do you got Johnny a movie any movie at all that has the word happy somewhere in the title happiness doesn't

work doesn't work? Doesn't work? Just saying happiness? Pursuit of happiness? Yeah, it's not really... H-A-P-P-Y is what we're looking for. But that is a reasonable guess. If it was any part of it. I'll go with happy birthday to you, you old whore.

That is a great... I was hoping that would be on here, and it didn't make the cut, but I remember liking that movie very much back when it came out. It's hard to find. It's hard to track down, but I'd watch it again. All right, down to Jodi. Any movie. Happy Gilmore. Oh, that one turns out to be number one.

Seven points. Seven points. This is going to be, it's not insurmountable, Jodi's League chat. You need to just get one or two right to get a higher total than seven. What do you think of when you think of a movie that's got the word happy in the title? What? I mean, Happy Feet.

Happy Feet? Let me look. Oh, turns out that's number two! Woo! All right. Chad is on the board with six points. Jodi has seven. And Johnny, this is your chance. Name another movie with happy in the title.

Happy Feet 2. You know, it's just that kind of cynical behavior that does well in this game. That is correct! game that is correct of course it's all the way down at number seven on the list but I still I'm happy for you that it was on there at all and you have one point Jodi with her seven points she's in the lead what's your next guess many happy returns what's that that's smart it's an expression so it very could have been a movie especially some recent 2023 movie that's just on one of the streamers or something but no that expression did not make this list but you're still in the lead chad one point behind jody what What are you going to do about it? Is there a Happy Feet 3? Like I said earlier, I'm here with the answers,

not to answer questions. I'm going Happy Feet 3. I'm guessing that it exists. It does not. Or it exists and didn't make the list. But I don't think it exists. Also, I couldn't make Johnny spell it, but it's Happy Feet T-W-O.

Yeah. Okay, Chad's still at six. Johnny's got one. At this point, you could tie. Chad, if you pull a five-pointer I'm gonna say don't worry be happy also an expression that hasn't been made in the feature film but probably fair it's a smart guess it's a smart guess I like smart guess there's almost more than people who get the right answer that That's a very smart guess, but no. Jodi?

Happy birthday. That's not a bad idea. That's gotta be in there somewhere, right? But it isn't. Oh damn. You know, I can't think of any movies that are just straight up called Happy Birthday, but there sure should be one. Chad? All you've got to do is get any of the remaining titles and it will be enough to tie or win. Is there a movie?

I'm sorry. Happy New Year. Damn it. Another very smart, clever play. I appreciate you doing it, but it did not if there is a movie called Happy New Year it did not make the list. Jody, you won the game!

Congratulations, Joey. Very good job. Let's recap from the bottom of the list. Seven, of course, was Happy Feet 2. Six is a Chinese rom-drom, romantic drama that's quite a lot of people like it. I saw it. I don't remember loving it, but it's called Happy Together.

And, you know, people are searching it on IMDb, I guess. Number five is, I thought Johnny might pull this one at some point, Happy Death Day. Oh, dang. I can't believe I didn't think of that.

Yeah, it's weird. Those shit will just fly out of your head in these situations. And number four was Happy Ending with no S on it because that was a TV series and then also a movie that had Lisa Kudrow in it. But this is just Happy Ending, and it's a Netflix thing. That's what screws up these lists sometimes for me is that something will just pop into Netflix and people will search it like what the fuck is this on IMDB and then it gets a high ranking like people are excited about it

or something. And then this is a tricky one too because number three is called Happy Christmas. Yeah that's like an indie movie that Anna Kendrick is in. British, for sure. And then Happy Feet, of course. Happy Gilmore. And so congratulations again to Jodi. Of course, all it means, settle down. It just means she gets to go first in our final game. And we'll play that game right after this break!

We are back! Alright, so Jodi pulled out that last win. Congratulations to Jodi, but of course on this show that doesn't mean much because she has to go first in our next and final game that will determine our winner and who in the audience gets all the stuff that box and all the stuff in it. And to do that we're going to play a game that I call Last Person Standing Deluxe NYE Edition!

Alright, so this is a game where a lot of times we get suggestions from the audience for names and you know it's all just different, sometimes I'll just name the names and that's what I'm going to do today. I'm just going to name the names that we're going to use in this game. The three of you are going to take turns naming movies that have one of those people in it. It could be any one of the three. You just have to name it and you're still in. If you can't think of one one you can go to your lifeline once so Avengers you can go to or Mikachu or what was the third one was a

Maddie Python those here Lifelines that you can go to once so lifelines just be ready Especially if you know an obscure movie that features one of these actresses because I pulled three names from the cast the aforementioned cast New Year's Eve and they are Sarah Jessica Parker Jessica Beale and Michelle Pfeiffer. The films of those three ladies. I don't know how often they worked together, but we might find out if they ever did during the game. We'll start with the winner of the last game, which is Jody, and then switch the order around once again so we'll go Jody

then Johnny then Chad I play along a lot of time but this one it wouldn't be fair because I knew what actresses we were going to use ahead of time so Jody Johnny Chad have you had a chance to think it over it's kind of it's not it's not an easy one but but there are all, especially Michelle Pfeiffer, in a lot, a lot, a lot of big movies. These other actresses have been sidelined by TV occasionally, but also do a lot of work. So let's start it off. Jodi, name a film that has one of those ladies in it. Michelle Pfeiffer was the Deep End of the Ocean.

Wow, you could have saved that one. The other two guys didn't know that one. I don't know. You could have kept that in the chamber or the quiver. Go ahead, Johnny. I'm going to go with L.A. Story. Yeah, Sarah and Jessica Parker. Sandy with a heart over the eye. Wait. Wait, where did she put the heart? Oh, yeah, Sandy with an eye with a heart over it.

Oh, my God. Tell us the three again. What? Tell us the three again. Oh. I really thought you were, like, in the middle of the show, like, really asking something secretly. I don't want to listen to this. What the fuck are we doing?

Tell us what we're doing again. It's Sarah Jessica Parker, Jessica Biel, and Michelle Feinberg. Three generations of actress, I'm guessing. I don't know their exact ages. Who are we on, Chad? What do you got? I'm going with one of my know their exact ages. Who are we on, Chad? What do you got? I'm going with one of my favorite holiday movies, Batman Returns.

Nice. Michelle Pfeiffer. Arguably the best Catwoman in history. Wait, who's next? Is it back to Jodi? Is it back to Jodi? Is it back to me? Michelle Pfeiffer as Miss Baltimore Crab

previous in Hairspray. Yeah. Give it up. Jodi, I know you've probably noticed this from being at the show in the past. You can't take it personally when the crowd doesn't go crazy because they really do applaud for the movies they like or the ones that are the most...

It's weird. I don't know why anybody... I don't know what drives people to applaud or when during this game, but, you know, that was all the Hairspray fans. Everyone else... And over on the other side of the room are people who are not going to see Wonka, The Color Purple, or Mean Girls. All right, Johnny.

I'm going to go with Jessica Biel in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Nice! Of course you knew that one. That's a great one. I mean, is that a good Massacre movie? No. No. It's the reboot. Yeah. So, as a fan of those kind of films, is the first Chainsaw Massacre the only good one?

No. Number two is great for all the wrong reasons. It's a great hate watch, but the reboot is just kind of boring. Oh, okay. She looks like of boring. Oh, okay. She looks like a dung. Oh, okay. Oh yeah, don't they like lovingly show her, like, does she have a close-up of her butt or something?

Seems like they really exploit her. Chad? I go Scarface. Oh, nice! Yeah, that's very good. That's my favorite Sarah Jessica Parker role. Scarface. Oh, nice. Yeah, that's very good. That's my favorite Sarah Jessica Parker role. Jodi?

Baby Sarah Jessica Parker, no dancing, and footloose? Yeah. No, I was just watching Footloose the other day on TV, and I was just like, from that movie forward, she was cast a lot as like somebody who wasn't supposed to be the beautiful girl in the cute one but I

always thought she was cute and I've always been weirded out by people who like make remarks about her being ugly I think they just don't like sex in the city you know so they just it just makes them angry that it exists. Something that's pretty much for women is out there and popular. Who started it, Johnny? It's mine. I'm gonna go with Michelle Pfeiffer and Fabulous Baker Boys.

Nice. Oh my God, I've never wanted to be a piano whore. Nice. Chad? I'm gonna go you gotta go? no it's good having you let's go

One Fine Day yes yes you know the little girl in that that's George Clooney and Michelle Pfeiffer

I mean they both they each have a kid and then they it's a fine day because they both, they each have a kid, and then they, it's a fine day, because they all end up together, or whatever, get stuck in traffic, or something. But the little girl is Mae Whitman, who is you know, my favorite

evil accent, Scott Pilgrim. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. She's great. Anyway, she was a little kid in that, and it's active ever since. Jodi? since Jody as the other woman in first wives Club like she got into a little street there like it's sandy and now in LA story and in that movie she was like like the sexy character and then she became anyway Johnny I'm gonna go with Serge Escapart and sex in the city the movie yes well done what

do you say to that Chad fuck you Joni I say uh let's say no I thought there was a specific thing he'd say Michelle Pfeiffer in Love Field I thought there was a specific thing he'd say. He went with something else. Michelle Pfeiffer in Love Field. Wow. That's quite a pull.

Who's in that with her? Dennis Haysburg? Dennis Haysburg. Nice. I'm complimenting myself for remembering that. Jodi? Dangerous Minds. Yes.

Is that your Coolio impression? No that was my Michelle Pfeiffer karate Oh she karate chopped somebody Martial arts in that one? That was the trailer She really turned those kids around like you know they were a bunch of hooligans and she came in there

with her karate moves and her teaching skills Johnny I could be wrong I love it hooligans and she came in there with her karate moves and her teaching skills johnny i could be wrong i love it i think jessica bill was in i now pronounce you chuck and larry she sure was yeah we exploited her in that one too it's like a changing room scene, right? Where she's like, you're gay, touch my tits. And Adam Sandler's like, well, alright. I wrote this movie, I might as well do it. If you insist. This is my idea in the first place. Jeff?

Oh, I'll go... Sarah Jessica Parkerman, Leaving Las Vegas, not Leaving Las Vegas, Honeymoon in Vegas. You got it, Honeymoon in Vegas, that's right. Flying Elmises. Jodi. Jodi.

Jessica Bieling, one of my favorites. The recent A-Team. You are a recent A-Team, Stan? Love it. We'll watch it any time it's on. Any time.

Love it. Bradley Cooper. Adios. Bradley Cooper. Liam Neeson. Uh-huh. Jessica Biel. Uh-huh.

And then what's the name of the fourth guy that's 14? Oh, he's one of them. Quinn Rampage Jackson. Yeah, I knew you'd know it. Well, and also District 9, the Aussie guy from District 9. Oh, yeah, yeah. Charlton Copley. Yeah, and Gerald McRaney is also in that one.

Yes. Okay. Do you like it? I love it it I'll watch it anytime it's on works out great for him I guess other people that were in the TV series. Yeah, yeah, they all pop up and stuff. And so, yeah. All right, so a fan of the TV show too.

I was, yeah, but you know, I was a preteen in the 80s, right? I mean, so like, yeah. Of course, of course you liked the 80s. You watch that and. Nobody likes the B-team, they like the 80s. All right, Johnny. Nobody's had a lot of time to think.

Yeah, boy, did it not work. Jessica Biel in Seventh Heaven the movie. We all got our fingers crossed for that one. Can't wait for that to happen. But yeah, that was awesome. That was my favorite thing Jessica Biel ever did was leaving that show.

She's still like a teenager. She was like, fuck this stupid Jesus show. Yeah, exactly. Alright, so you want to go to your lifeline, Johnny? I'm going to go to What do you got? Yeah, that's unfortunate. It's really unfortunate what's happened? I'm going to go out on a limb here. Oh, she's going out on a limb.

That there is a Sex and the City 2 possible? Sex and the City 2, of course there is! Yes! That's what I thought Chad would say after you said the first one. I thought he'd pounce on it. But yeah, there was a second one. They went to Greece or something. Sure. Yeah. They all went lube wrestling.

Yeah. Or Greece wrestling. I'll call it whatever you want. But good job, MikaChu. You kept Johnny in the game. Now Johnny, of course, has to really think about if there's something else that he missed while we go to Chad. I'm going to go Michelle Pfeiffer in Stardust. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Rare for me, Matthew Vaughn in Misfire, right? Didn't he direct that? And, you know, I love his movies. I love Kick-Ass and the Secret Gentleman's Club movies. Joey? Michelle Pfeiffer in Grease 2? Yeah.

Pretty soon they're saying the word Grease over and over. Hopefully she was in Lube 2. That's what Chad might have thought of it. Grease 2, that's a good one. Okay, Johnny. Did you think of anything in the interim? Not really. Jessica Biel... This looks like you're good.

Jessica Biel in Go? Was she in Go? No. Goddammit. She should have been. I'm it. She should have been. I'm fine. That would have been good for her. Well, you made a valiant effort today, Johnny. Thank you. And I'm sorry.

Please. Please stick around, though, because we need your high energy joking around. So take us home. Chad. Okay. Down to you and Jody okay Michelle Pfeiffer in tequila sunrise yeah yeah those guys Kurt Russell other guy. Jodi? Jessica Biel in The Illusionist. Yes. Came back fast, didn't it, Chad? The Illusionist, that's like, you know, the alternative to The Prestige. You know what I mean? It came out like at the same time. It was baiting in my head which ones were sure it was. Right? It's tricky. Okay, I'm going to ask... Oh, he's going to his lifeline. Yeah, lifeline.

Chad's lifeline. Maddie. Maddie. I am also trying to find... Oh, I know. It's so deep in the game. You know what kind of names maybe obscure ones

we didn't get to? We... Working on as a group over here, I'm sure. Nothing? There are sex in the city three? No sex in the city three. I'm sorry. There was Sex and the City 3. There was Sex and the City 3. I'm sorry to say.

God, there's got to be another... I can't believe your life line did that to you, Chad. I'm going to go... Wait a minute. Okay. There's a Sir Jessica Parker 80s bike movie. Yeah. God damn, what's it called

I don't know nothing springing to my mind American Flyers she's in that that's a movie but I don't think she's in it I don't remember her being in it I also couldn't tell you who the female lead was it was Kevin Costner

as a fast bike rider with other guys that run bikes real fast, I think. Is this really happening? Are you going to tap? Your lifeline is dry? There's got to be another.

I've got to know another Michelle Pfeiffer. White Oleander. Who said that? Are you his lifeline? White Oleander? Yeah. Who's in that? Michelle Pfeiffer. Michelle Pfeiffer. Yes! Chad, you're in it for another round.

I thought somebody else sitting kind of nearby just took it on themselves like, White Oleander already. I thought somebody else sitting kind of nearby just took it on themselves like, white oleander already! Jodi? Still going strong? I think I might have to go to Covengers. I think I might have to. Yeah, go to them. I don't know. Covengers, can you help out?

Sure. Colleen Camp was in American Flyers. Oh,. Colin Camp was in American Flyers on the evening. Oh, Colin Camp was in American Flyers instead of... Michelle Pfeiffer, Ant-Man and the Wasp. Oh, of course. Michelle Pfeiffer, Ant-Man and the Wasp. Nice job, Chad. Wait a minute.

I know. Is Michelle Pfeiffer in Ant-Man Quantum Maiden? Of course she is. Back to Jodi. Marvel Avengers Endgame. Yes. What's the other name of that one? Michelle Pfeiffer.

She's a Marvel character. She shows up all the time now. She's probably in another one I'm not remembering. What's the other? She got, you know, she was like all shrunk down, all small during the snap. And like, so there was worried that like, oh, she was outside, but he was inside, yeah.

But she disappeared during the snap. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chad's got it. Wait a minute. He's got it. He's got it! Um, Michelle Pfeiffer in What Lies Beneath? Yes! What Lies Beneath was

way before the craziest ass jump-scale movie you'll ever see. Like, not five minutes go by without something loud happening to me. Supposed to make you jump. It's pretty fun. Alright, Jodi. Are you done? Can we do television? No. I'd still be in the game. I love movies. You did great, Jodi. How about the first Ant-Man? The very first one? Who's in that?

Why would she be in the very first Ant-Man? At the end, she is. Does she? Cavendish, you seem to be the expert on this subject. No, I don't think she shows up in that first Ant-Man. Because I don't know why she would. What are the ant blocks? She's an ant block?

Oh, at the end? Do you have another one, Chas? Is she in the other movie? Well, I'm saying, let's say she was. Would you lose? Would you be out? I, mmm... There's a Sarah Jessica Parker movie... I swear to God

she's in like a biker movie from the 80s. It's not American Flyer. What's that called? Oh, like Quicksilver? Is that the one? I mean, that's a biker movie, but I don't think she's in it. Damn, dude. Maybe she is.

I don't know. I thought she was. We definitely missed some for her. Yes. But were we calling Jodi the winner? I mean, if Michelle Piper's in Ant-Man, then she's the winner. I don't think she is. I don't personally think she is.

She is. She is? She's in the credits. We got confirmation. Jodi is the winner. Yay! Joey! Joey! Joey!

Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey! Joey, you gotta do your plugs first. What would you like to plug? I will be appearing in my living room chaperoning teenagers tomorrow night. What a fun night for you. in my living room chaperoning teenagers tomorrow night.

What a fun night for you. Yeah, you can drop by, that's two drink minimum. And I'm doing my best to make sure there is no semen of any kind. You're wild, Jodi. There will be lubricants. Jodi? There will be Lou Brest. Yeah, for sure. Well, thank you, Jodi Reeves.

Would you like to return to the show as champion on the upcoming episode? Yeah, sure. Yeah, we just do it over Zoom. I gotta get your info before, so don't leave without giving your info tonight. Okay. Great job.

One more time for Jordan Williams! It's always fun having audience members participate and you know, it's a real crapshoot how good they're going to be at the games. You were terrific. I got to live out my husband's dreams. I hope it was good for him watching me. Hey, keep your hands on the table. He's really enjoying it.

Okay, so great first appearance on the show, Johnny Taylor Jr. Well, you know, we're doing New Year's Eve tomorrow, which is going to be great. I'll also be at Wise Guys in West Jordan, Utah with my friend Brian Crosain on January 12th and 13th. And I'm headlining the Velveeta Room in Austin, Texas, February 2nd and 3rd. So come on and see.

Nice. Go see Johnny Taylor Jr., everybody. Also, you do stuff in this main room here, but there's also a cute club next door called the Callback. You do stuff there sometimes too. Five months later I do a show called Johnny Taylor and Friends at the Callback. Come out and see it. It's good. It's a fun little room. I love it. And chat opens everybody!

What do you want to promote, pal? I'm doing a show at the end of the month in January, January 28th at the Elysian Theatre with Neil Hamburger. Oh, that's fun. Neil Hamburger, La La La, Elysian, I'm excited for that one. That's in LA. Right on, right on. And what's your social media stuff? That's my name, at Chad Opens. Yeah, and it's Opitz without an apostrophe

between the O and the P. I thought he was Irish until I confirmed that. Opitz? Opitz. Let's see, do I have any plugs? Oh yeah, I do.

Chad's joining me for Douglo's movies at SF Sketch Fest in San Francisco Yeah, I do. I'm going to be... Well, Chad's joining me for Douglas Movies at SF Sketch Fest in San Francisco on Sunday afternoon, January 24th. And I'll just say, Chad, that's all you need to know, but a great lineup on that show. SFSketchFest.com for your tickets to that. And so that's pretty much it.

Thank you to the Punch Light. Thank you to all the people who came out to see us this afternoon. Have a great rest of your year. What little of it is left? Happy New Year and one more time for Johnny Taylor Jr. Jody Reeves. Ciao, baby. Jody Reeves. Shadowbent.

And as always, no. Hey everybody, I just wanted to jump in here and say that of course Michelle Pfeiffer was not in the first Ant-Man but Jodi was such a great guest we'll bring her back as a returning champ and we'll bring back Chad Opitz soon as well happy new year But is there no room in our store? You must come, come to me.