Doug Loves Movies - Lennon Parham, Jessica St. Clair, Moshe Kasher, and Brendon Walsh Guest

Episode Date: March 29, 2012

Doug welcomes comedians Moshe Kasher and Brendon Walsh, along with the stars of NBC's "Best Friends Forever" Lennon Parham and Jessica St. Clair. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Haze Candy Wrapper's screaming baby's sick he's sick with empty eyes and popcorn curdled in his teeth They're still not born then he won't see those God loves movies Hey everybody My name is Doug and I love movies This is Doug Loves Movies Coming to you from the UCB Theater In Los Angeles, California On Tuesday, March 27th To Oceans 12

Since last, yeah, great year Since last Since last... Yeah, great year. Since last I spoke, you listened. I saw Undefeated, a documentary about high school football. And if you liked Friday Night Lights, the dearly departed Friday Night Lights, I think you'll like Undefeated.

And if you didn't like the show Friday Night Lights, I don't want to have anything to do with you. I saw The Hunger Games. Speaking of things I don't want to have anything to do with you. I saw The Hunger Games, speaking of things I don't want to have anything to do with, and I will talk more on that, probably too much more on that a little later. I had a great time at the American Comedy Company in San Diego on Sunday.

Graham Elwood was there, and he got taken down in one round of the Leonard Maltin game by audience member Carlos, whose name tag was a facehugger from Alien. Madison, Wisconsin, you can play against Mr. Elwood at Comedy on State on Sunday, April 1st at 420. Last night I interrupted MI4GP at CineFamily here in Los Angeles with guests Megan Neuringer,

Rob Hubel, and Zach Galifianakis. Really fun time, really fun movie. Brad Bird should have directed Hunger Games. I'm going to start making a list of who should have directed the Hunger Games. Brad Bird is up there. The next movie interruption at CineFamily is going to be The Grey on April 11th.

Yeah, I'm going to need you to get under the wolf. On April 11th. Yeah, I'm going to need you to get under the wolf. Next you'll be taken. Cinefamily.org. Cinefamily.org for tickets. Now it's time for Watch This, Not That. The number one movie in the country is The Hunger Games. The least exciting movie about children trying to kill each other that I've ever seen.

The number two movie is 21 Jump Street. The funniest adaptation of a TV show that wasn't funny that I've ever seen. The number two movie is 21 Jump Street, the funniest adaptation of a TV show that wasn't funny that I have ever seen. So watch Jump Street, not Hunger Lames. This has been

Watch This, Not That. LA Friends, I'm recording a special Douglass movie at Flappers in Burbank once again on Thursday,

April 5th at 10 p.m. And you can make Good Friday this year a great Friday by seeing me right here at UCB. I'm going to tell some jokes and then also show some of the greatest movie I ever rolled on April 6th. That's Good Friday at 8 p.m. Only $10. All of it goes to UCB from the corrections department

Mike Myers was born and raised in Canada but in my defense his parents are British and he holds American, Canadian and British citizenships also his best friend is a donkey now donkey! now it's time

for tweet relief tweets about movies at liz mclarnon wrote do you know what they call hunger games in paris battle royale with cheese this has been tweet relief let's look in the prize bag, you guys. We've got prizes for tonight. We've got a pair of gold, beautiful gold tennis shoes signed by two of the guests tonight. I don't know what size they are, but I think they're for a lady. So, of course, I've got another Weezer item.

I'm still giving away Weezer stuff, a Weezer T-shirt. Doug Benson Professional Humoridian. Some T-shirts that we'll get into these T-shirts when the guest gets out here. But there's a few of them. I think they're humorous in nature. And then also, that's a lot of T-shirts. The winner's going to get a lot of shirts. I hope the winner's a shirtless person.

And a Doug Loves Movies shirt, hot off the presses. And also, one last thing. Two last things. This is funny. Leftover from my gift bag that I got at the lead up a while back. Some Magic the Gathering cards. bag that I got at the lead up of a while back some magic the gathering cards yeah this is this is what this is the event deck whatever that means and then a CD by this this talented comedian so let's bring them out here you guys let's get

them all out here please welcome Len and Parham Jessica St. Clair Moshe Kasher and Brendan Walsh. Sit wherever you'd like. Yay, yeah. Keep clapping loudly into my ear. Oh, Brendan. So you brought these t-shirts. Yeah, and what do they say on them? That one says,

give me a break, I'm on heroin. Okay, instead of break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar. And then, what does this one say? It's a digital clock that says 10 a.m. and underneath it says, still drunk? Your shirts are killing, Brendan. Yeah, they're really funny.

That's why I wanted him to say them instead of me. And then what's this one? It's a Doug Stanhope t-shirt that I have lying around. That is sodomite. That's really funny, guys. Oh, sodomite. Yeah. Instead of dynamite, it's like the Jimmy Walker.

Yeah. Sodomite! Can. Instead of Dynomite, it's like the Jimmy Walker. Yeah. Sodomite! Yeah. Can't get those anymore. And it says Doug Stanhope on it. Yeah. Another Doug.

Yeah. In comedy. The only other one as far as I'm concerned. And as far as the world's concerned. I can't think of any others. There's a guy named

Doug Sparks who was like a black dude who did a lot of Sammy Davis Jr. impressions. Doug James. You know that guy? Who's that? He's a weirdo who books shows out and like... So I don't ever have to worry about him

catching on. Because I just wanted to be a two Doug comic nation. What? DJ Doug Pound. Doug Loosenhop. What? You just tried to. Doug Lucenhop. Yeah. What? You just tried to make Doug want to kill himself today. I don't even know what to do with all that. So let's move on.

Lennon. What's up? Hey, how are you? Hey. And Jessica. Hi, Doug. I don't know any Dugs. Dougie Fresh, but he's not a comic.

One of my agents is named Doug. I, too, have an agent named Doug. These are the Dougs I know. I know. These are the Dougs I know. So you guys, Jessica and Lennon, have a new TV series on NBC called Best Friends Forever. Yeah. Yay.

Next Wednesday night. Is that right, Lennon? Why would they make a TV show about two girls I don't know it doesn't seem funny to me

it's not funny at all it's gonna be horrible it's real terrible it's 30 minutes of us talking about periods and then how much we love chocolate literally though

I do say vagina in the first four lines yeah she does but it's great but it's not funny it's terrible yeah it's terrible so. It's terrible.

So if people need to avoid it, when do they need to not tune in? Do not tune in. Find something else to do Wednesday night at 8.30. We follow Betty White's Off Their Rockers. Excuse me. Wait a second. That's a real thing? That's really a thing? Oh, yes. This is a prank show

where old people prank young people and i literally first of all i would have tuned into this show regardless whether or not we were following it and i cannot wait apparently they like pop out of garbage cans they do a bunch of crazy shit and i know there's one where where where a woman flies down with a parachute gets stuck in a tree an old woman an old woman. An old woman. These are not like, and this isn't like, remember the guy on the Six Flags commercial? That wasn't a real face.

That was a young person dressed as an old person. These are real old people with brittle birthmarks. I was wondering why you brought that up. Yes. I thought you were just going to go, remember how annoying that commercial was? Do you know why? I thought that guy

was Uncle Junior from the Sopranos and then Matt Walsh had to tell me like, you fucking idiot. Like that's a young person. You think Uncle Junior could do that kind of dance?

That was real. Like the guy's physical appearance didn't give it away. That Uncle Junior can't dance. Yes. He's not that flexible.

Anyway, so that's, yes, we're very excited for our show. And I hope you guys watch it. We wrote it and we're in it. Yeah, you created it. And another guy from the UCB, Luca Jones, he's in it. And this guy, Steven Schneider, who is a real dish. A dish best served cold. Don't keep saying that.

And that's not what that means. You don't say that the man is hot served cold. At any rate, it's very exciting. I can't wait. What's the premiere date? April 4th. 830. That's a week from

to Mars. Nailed it. I nailed it. This pops on Friday, so people have five days to figure out something else. Oh, and it's on iTunes right now, Hulu.

Yeah, you can watch the pilot. You can watch the first episode. I can see you say vagina. Yeah. Okay. Literally in the first four lines. Yep. All right, so check that out

everybody. Do it. Moshe Kasher has a CD. That's what I showed everybody before you came out. What's the CD called? It's called Everyone You Know Is Going To Die. And then you are...

That's some light fare. Hold on, I'm not done with the subtitle. What is this, a Fiona Apple record? Why does it have such a long-ass title? I was originally going to call it This Is A Fiona Apple Record and just have it be that. And the subtitle is

Unless You Die First. So it's an indisputable fact. It is true. Ah. Okay. Yeah. What's it called? Okay.

Everyone you know someday will die and you unless you die first. Yeah, but with more finesse. Okay. I have it. It's a great CD.

Oh, okay. And so you also have a book though right I have a book coming out tomorrow it yeah I thought I thought you'd bring that oh give it away been a good thing to know no these people aren't worth that that's a no I'm kidding I just I don't have very many of them right now but soon stores near you will have very many of them and you can get yeah and it's his name is Moshe Kasher. That's right, and it's a story of my wayward, troubled youth. It's called Kasher in the Rye.

That's really the name of the book. People think I'm kidding. It also has a subtitle. The True Tale of a White Boy from Oakland who became a drug addict, criminal, mental patient, and then turned 16. Who was going to die before you unless you die first. Right, it's a story of how I died of leukemia when I was 16 and Brendan Walsh I got nothing yeah you're doing nothing in your life why I have a

hand just walking around with Doug Stanhope shirts yeah seven sure I saw why you had a hangover last night actually. Was I that out of control? Well we were at Natasha Leggero's house and Brandon was drunk and being charming but also

super drunk like swaying kind of a thing. And he at one point did this very specifically drunk move where he took out his pack of

cigarettes, took up the last cigarette and threw it on Natasha's table and just snared at it and then walked away. Wow. And then guess who picked it up

as they left the house? Who? Fucking me. I did, that's right. You nailed it, buddy. You nailed it. The last cigarette's bad luck, right? I don't know.

I don't know what I was thinking. You don't even remember doing that. I don't remember doing it. You also sucked my dick, which was weird. I remember that part, yeah. That's a bonus for you, Mort. Yeah, it was a great night.

Have you been to the movies lately, Brandon? No, I rented some movies. I rented Page One. It's a documentary about the New York Times. It was good. I rented Hugo and watched half of it. What went wrong? I don't know.

I just wasn't into it. Yeah, I watched some of it in an ocean picture house and walked out. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's good. But also, I hate those glasses. I hate the 3D glasses. Yeah, I watched some of it in an ocean picture house and walked out. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's good to hear. But also, I hate those glasses. I hate the 3D glasses. Oh, yeah. So I just sit there

and stew in the fact that I'm like, this better be more entertaining than a regular movie because I have to wear these stupid glasses. And what if you get pink eye from those glasses?

That happens? I don't know. Do they wash them in between? I'm serious. I think they disinfect them. I think they have a sty. No, you get them out of baggies, though.

Right? Don't they give them to you in baggies and then you throw them in a bin? What do they do? They have to do something. Oh, that's like a disinfecting bin? No, this isn't the future, Lennon. We're not living in the future. That's cool if someone has a sty, though, because the 3D is both coming at you and from you.

These are just tips. These are life skills. You know what I mean? That you can pick up at the UCB. Well, what do you do, Moshe, with your glasses when they give you

those clunky glasses? Can you really put them over yours? Oh, I put them, yeah, they fit directly over them and then what I'll do is I'll bring a jar

of pink eye with me and I just wipe it in my eyes to make sure you're getting what everyone else yeah it feels unfair that my glasses would be a barrier to that I'm a man of the people of course so pink eye for me what was the last 3d movie that you saw that went through all that trouble what was the last 3d au Au revoir, les enfants? I said not to do this. Thank you. Holy shit. You're killing with the rest of the panel.

You guys see that? It's a Holocaust movie in French about a boys' school. And it's in 3D? Yeah, hell yeah. And there's a train that comes right at your face. It's really cool. I feel like you're getting right on it.

You feel like you're in the oven, right? That is rich. That was actually its marketing line. You feel like you're actually in the oven. In ovens, no one can hear you screaming. Feel the heat. Feel the heat. Feel the heat.

Nice. Nice. Feel the heat Feel the heat Nice Feel the power Okay so but seriously Let's get serious for a second Have you been to the movies lately? Yeah I saw The Hunger Games this weekend Oh you did?

Yeah the movie about Kobayashi the competitive eater He eats the hot dogs guys Spoiler alert He wins the Hunger Games this weekend. Oh, you did? Yeah, the movie about Kobayashi, the competitive eater. He eats the hot dogs, guys. Spoiler alert. He wins. Dips them in water first, right? That's right. It's just two hours and 22 minutes of a little Japanese guy.

I saw... People don't seem that hungry in it, and they don't really... It's not really that much of a game. True. So... And also I feel like this hand movement

they do is very similar to the Nazi situation. You know what I mean? Well they're already today on the news, they're already saying that you know, the conservatives are worried that Hunger Games is you know, it's about them. Because there sort of is the 1% in Hunger Games

you know they're the 1% because they all have really ridiculous hair color and stupid outfits. And they're all very pleased with themselves and they all look stupid and most of them don't have lines. Most of them have nothing to add to the movie. Did you like it though? I liked it a lot. I was a fan of the books. I read the books and was pleased at how faithfully they adapted the books. But aren't the books much more violent? Yeah, that was disappointing.

I did want more children to die, but... I think the same number died. I wanted more visceral death, I guess. I think there's still about 22 deaths, but... But they die less violently than they do in the book I

don't really see it is it a scary movie no the pants my problem really intense it's not like the girl with the dragon tattoo no same movie exactly just different marketing that was the first thing I said after Hunger Games. Not enough anal rape. That's what you say about most movies, though, right? It's my go-to criticism. That's why you don't have a column in the New York Post. You know what I mean? Because it's always the same. Not enough anal rape in Hugo.

Actually, there's a really brutal raping scene in Hugo. I got a stye for no anal rape. You must have been so pleased when you walked out of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo like, finally! No, I have yet to see either version of

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo because it's got... If you tell me a movie's got rape in it, I'm not interested already. I'll tell you who's interested in it. I'll tell you who's interested in it is Lennon. And she watched the Swedish version, which apparently will rip your insides out,

your asshole, your imagination asshole, because it won't haunt you. And then, I do not care for scary movies, but Lennon insists on telling me a detail a day about it. She starts with the same fucking quote. She's a ward of the state. Shit is hard. She belongs to

nobody. She has to blow this dude. Does she have a tramp stamp? What's that? I know she's tatted up. Does she have a tramp stamp? Not in the books. Oh, you haven't seen the movie? I saw the first half of it after a hard day. I had a really hard day. Just to make it worse.

I watched the Swedish version, and since there's revenge rape, I feel like I'm satiated. My problem with the Swedish version is, for me, it's hard to concentrate. Do I watch the rape or do I read about the rape while it's happening? Yeah, it's true. It's like double. She's got mad computer skills.

We know that. I saw the Swedish one too. And not the American. Nice. I saw the American one. And not the Swedish one? Not the Swedish one. I heard that the raping part is more brutal than the Swedish one. Right, they know how to do it over there. They don't fuck around where they do. Less it over there. They don't fuck around.

Less guns over there. Caviar and smoked sturgeon. That's a very Swedish situation. Isn't that where that hotel is made out of ice? That's Iceland. Ice hotel? No. It can't be Iceland. No, that's Superman. That's on every travel show.

I think there's an ice hotel in Sweden. That's Krypton. That's the. That's on every travel show. I think there's an ice hotel in Sweden. No, not Krypton. That's the Fortitude of Solace. The Fortitude of Solace. That was a great idea, though, for a little kid. Build a big fort and call it the Fortitude. Nobody gets in unless I say so. call it the Fortitude. Nobody gets cinemas. I say so.

That's some fortitude. So, Lennon. Yeah, what's up? Have you been to the cinema lately? You've been busy making a hot new TV show. I saw The Hunger Games. That's the first film I've seen. Boom.

Oh. Is that? It's a three fingers thing. I'm already... So, you guys all know what happens in the movie, right fingers thing. I'm already... So you guys all know what happens in the movie, right? I don't know anything about it. Really? To be honest, yeah.

I don't know anything about it. Are you going to go? Probably not. Maybe. I'm just saying that there's a conclusion of the Hunger Games, and there's winners and losers. Yeah. And then there's three fucking books.

So I want to know what kind of weird loophole is going to cause the characters that we know and love to have to participate again. I don't think they do. They don't? I've read all three books, so let me speak to this point. Sorry, I brought my dad here. Wake me when you're done.

here wake me when you're done i heard the third book has no no games whatsoever like some people get a little you know hungry there are there are a few meals eaten in it but i hear there's no games that's what i hear did you see winner's bone uh winner's bone? Did you see Winner's Bone? Is that... Same actress. Yes, I did see that. Because that's essentially the same movie. It pretty much is. She's like fucking... Yeah, only at the Ozarks. ...tearing apart squirrels and eating them. Yeah.

In every movie she's in. She's got an absent dad. Probably dead. Ugh, belongs to no one. She's awarded a state. Make it dark. It's another movie I don't want to see. I don't care.

Women beat her up. I don't know. I like that actress a lot. That's part of why I was disappointed in the movie is because I think she's great. I just love her. I could stare at her moon face all day. Who?

Jennifer Lawrence. She's incredible. I feel really left out. Academy Award nominee Jennifer Lawrence. She's incredible. I feel really left out. Academy Award. Academy Award nominee Jennifer Lawrence for Winter's Bone. Yeah.

And then she was also in... Never heard of that either. Winter's Bone? Really? You can't drink it. Ashton Kutcher, come out here.

Brendan, we're punking you. We're making up... You guys invented this. We're making up movies and actresses. It's all fake. You're on Off Their Rockers. We're making up movies and actresses. It's all fake. You're on off their rockers.

We rip our faces off our old ladies. It must take them so long to punk the prankies on that show. Just like, hold on, I'm coming. Wait for it. And then they die. And finally, Jessica. Yes. I haven't seen a movie in a while

at the theater. But when things get really dark for me, I pop in a DVD series called Anne of Green Gables. And I have to... Oh, thank God.

Fellas, where you at? There's three of us here. Where my Gilbert's at? Where my Gilbert's at. So that's when my husband knows things are really bad. I'm clutching my rescue miniature schnauzer, rocking back and forth

and watching Anne of Green Gables. I mean, it's not a movie for adults. Let's put it that way. It's for 12-year-olds. I've been watching little snippets of that almost every weekend. Just to get me through this. Not to get off the subject.

I don't know why we would. It's a six-hour long deep, dramatic series. I just want to know how many things has your miniature schnauzer rescued? My heart. Does it have a little bottle of whiskey around its neck?

Do you send it into the Yukon? She's rescued my sanity. What's that Anna Green Gable's all about? I don't think anyone really wants to know it sounds like it's something that doesn't appeal to men

it's a lot of corsets and petticoats and touches of the wrist you know what I mean and that's it that's all you'll get sex wise for six and a half hours she is a ward of the state though right she is actually she's an orphan.

She's a red-headed orphan. Japanese people love Anne of Green Gables. I actually went to where it was filmed. In Japan? No, it was Edward Island in Canada, and there were all these famous Japanese sumo wrestlers who were taking a visit there. Yes, she's like their national hero.

Because she's so outspoken, but not really because she's in the 1800s. You know what I mean? She's like an 1800s Veronica Mars. Exactly. Exactly. Okay.

I'm down. I'm in there. I like it now. I have a comfort show that I've been watching. What's that? I'm watching Deep Space Nine. I watch it like the same way

that you watch Anna Green Gable. Yes. I've watched so many episodes of it in a way that you watch Anna Green Gable. I've watched so many episodes of it in a row that the other day they had an episode that took place back on Earth, and I actually thought, oh wow, it must have cost them so much to film on Earth. You think it's a real thing.

They pretty much filmed the whole show on Earth, I think. Does anyone hunger for games? That's what I'm going to say from now on at this point in the show. Let's play Build a Title. This is a friend of the show who lives in Philadelphia named Randy Lawson

suggested to me on Twitter today that I use a Diane Wiest movie because it's her, she's celebrating a birthday this week and I looked through a lot of her movies and had a hard time finding one that would be an appropriate starter title but I managed to pull it off and we'll start we'll start with Brendan do you remember how to play this motion I don't fantastic we might not have been playing it when the last time you were on, so yeah, you're probably going to lose. I'll just warn you right now.

Radio days. Radio days of thunder. Bam. Now you have to... I think I get it. You'd be surprised. All right, go ahead. Sorry.

You need to come up with a movie that Ends in radio Or begins with thunder Or der Wait, one more time? Yeah You thought you had it, didn't you? Well at the moment, now it's gone

Ends in thunder I mean begins with thunder Or ends in radio A movie title Radio Nicely done, you're out Okay, now we go Ends in radio. A movie title. Radio. Nicely done. You're out.

Okay, now we go to the movie. But you gotta build. You can't just stick with the foundation that's already there. It wasn't like a choice. You gotta add to it. You don't have to order the other. But it's okay. There's low stakes.

Losing doesn't matter. But it's okay. It's low stakes. Losing doesn't matter. What do you think? Can you think of anything that ends in radio? I had one that he fucked. Yeah, don't do radio because it doesn't work.

Well, no, I wasn't building. It was sort of within the beginning. Or anything that ends in Ray? Yeah. That was what it was going to be. It was going to just be Ray. Just Ray, right? Everybody does that and then it's over.

Brendan will be our winner. I'll be the winner. What? I'm just thinking to myself. I thought you were whispering answers. I was like, no, why would I give you the answer? Whenever there's girls sitting next to each other on this show, they help each other. It's so adorable. I just figured out how to play the game.

I get it. You'll be back. So nothing? That's okay. I was going to say Radio Days of Thunder Rolls, which is a Garth Brooks song. That's not a movie. It might be a movie. And you know, that is a Garth Brooks song. It's a Garth Brooks song. That's not a movie.

I'll accept that. That's a song about spousal abuse. It's about domestic abuse. Is she a ward of the state? She might as well be. It's like Lennon's favorite song. It's all about waiting for your husband to get home to beat you. That's true.

And then she kills him, right? Doesn't she shoot him in that well it's storming it's storming and he's been out smelling like something he shouldn't be smelling pussy let me smell your dick you ever hear that song it's weird it's weird that there are more country songs made into movies because they all tell a story. It has a beginning, middle, and end. It's ready to go. Let's do it. Jessica, any idea how to play this game? Yes. So it has to end with radio or begin with rolls.

Begin with thunder. What? Did you give her thunder rolls? I didn't. You didn't give it to her? I was kidding. What? I was joking around.

Yeah, welcome to the losers. Am I out? Yeah, you're out. Fuck you, man. You'll be back in. I was holding on to a dream. You'll be back in. I was holding on to a dream. You'll be back in in no time. I was just about to say, how about Days of Thunder?

Thunder, that's stupid. That's what the suggestion was, Radio Days of Thunder. Brendan's walking away with this. Yeah, man. We're coming up with Days of Thunder. It's hard. This one's hard I don't know I don't know that's okay I've let you down Doug no you haven't Doug I love you Brendan's are where but you could have that was it? Radio Days of Thunder. Lennon just got a one. Might be the shortest winning title ever.

What was it, Lennon? Can you give it to me? As you like. Can I use Lennon as my lifeline? No, but she can just tell us what it is. The Gray-deo Days of Thunder. Yeah. The Gray-deo Days of Thunder. Where they walk into the wilderness and they go to that ice hotel.

Alright. Brendan's our winner. That means he gets to go first in the Leonard Maltin game. That's all you win. It's no big deal. Oh, shit. I thought I was going to win one of my t-shirts. Let me give you one of your shirts back. But now it's time to pick a name tag

for who you want to play for in the audience. And you guys don't recoil from them just because you don't think they're going to be good at it. Oh, wow. Oh, I hear a whoop monkey. Did you write your name on it? Nice. There's lots of pretty ones.

In San Diego over the weekend there was only like eight name tags in the audience. That was a little disappointing. Wow. Brendan's going to keep his for sure. Is that edible? That looks edible. I think it's rubber, but it's a...

It's a dildo. Yep, it's a dildo. Does it have an on-off switch or something? Or is it just... Brennan's going to write ten new minutes of material about that. I already have a whole dildo chunk. I think they wrote a shithead on the back of it. But I can't make it out.

That's hard to read. Oh, what? Oh, that's funny. That's enjoyable. What's the name on the front of it, but I can't make it out. That's hard to read. Oh, what? Oh, that's funny. Okay, that's enjoyable. Alright, and what's the name on the front of it? Christine. Alright, so Brendan's playing for Christine, who brought a pink dildo. This is a prescription, a blank script, so this is good

for Oxycontin, which is why I picked it. And it's Mia. Her name's Mia. Yeah. Alright. No shit on the back. Okay, good. And what do you have there, Lennon? I have the album for Layla, which is My Lady, and other assorted love songs by Derek and the Dominoes, which is about that song where the man is a woman.

No. The woman is a man. No, no, you're thinking of Lola. That's a kink song. What's this one? Layla. That's a song. This is an early Eric? Layla That's a song Is this the early Eric Clapton?

Layla You got me on my knees That's about I think he was fucking George Harrison's wife Yeah And that's From Derek

That was Eric Clapton though Eric Clapton Yeah yeah He's Derek and the Dominoes Oh fuck Yeah that's the Eric and Derek I mean it was the 60s, you know? People were doing

a lot of crazy shit. So what's the name of the person who brought this? Right down here. What? Layla. Oh, Layla is your actual name?

Yes. Okay, fantastic. And Jessica also picked out an album. Yes, Julio Iglesias, a Vule femme, and the name is Ethan. Ethan just wrote his name

on a Julio Iglesias record. Alright. Fair enough. Let's play. First person to two points wins. This is a double album. That dildo isn't distracting at all. The trouble with that dildo isn't distracting at all. The trouble with that dildo

is that color looks delicious. Yeah. It does. It looks like it would taste good. It's the same pink as, you know, one of those candies that taste like... Dick. Dick-flavored candies.

Dick candy. Those dick lozenges you love so much. Yeah, the dick lozenges. I've been taking these penis pills and they taste just like penis. This is crazy too. The logo on the bottom of it looks like the Nickelodeon splat. It's a dildo for kids.

Wait until you can splat. In the meantime... That looks like a good time. If I was a chick, I'd totally be jamming that up in my shit. Are you currently single, Brendan? Yeah, I am. Are you currently single? That would feel good, probably. We'd love to jam things up our shit.

Yeah. As much as we can. Hell yeah. Oh, yeah. It doesn't matter what it is. We'll try to curl this up later. Put it up there. Is this what the pilot episode of Best Friends Forever is about? Yeah, jamming shit up there. That's why we're friends. We do it.

We do it to each other. We don't. That honestly looks like something from D Space Nine to me. Oh, it brings me great comfort, actually. Like a... Not the first dick that's been on your face today.

Although this one's a lot bigger than yours, definitely. Oh! Not a lot. Although, strangely, his does have this odd ridging on it. Not a lot. Although strangely his does have this odd ridging. My dick has gills on it as well.

Actually your dick's a member of the Screen Actors Guild. I tried. That's terrible. But he brought it back to movies and I appreciate that. Let's give you a category to choose from here, Brendan, and then we'll go to

Jessica next. I think you're going to be alright. Dillenium suggested on Twitter Black That Gas Up, which is movies with either Kyle Gass or Jack Black. Or both.

Yeah. Desperately Seeking Snoozin'. That's a movie where the lead character would like to go to bed, would like to get some sleep. Okay. And it's Nathan Fillion's birthday today. He's a good guy. Ladies love him, too. And so, the films of Nathan Fillion.

Which one of those would you like to play, Brendan? Well, I don't know who that guy is, so I won't do that one. Maybe, I'm curious about the sleeping one. Let's do the sleeping one. Right, guys? Yeah. This movie where somebody needs to get some sleep about the sleeping one let's do the sleeping one this bright guys yeah this movie where somebody needs to get some sleep is from 1985 Leonard gave it two

and a half stars he says about this character that needs to wants to get some sleep he says that he's an ordinary guy and he also says about him that he is the only normal person in the picture. And there are 11 names and a knowing laugh in the crowd. How many names do you think you can get it in, Brandon Walsh? I'll start with, I think I might know this movie. But I'll start with, I'll say 10. this movie, but I'll start with, I'll say 10. All right, poker mouth. Poker mouth.

You're telling them everything instead of just, you know, playing it sneaky. If you think you know it and you're bidding 10, that's kind of a puss move. Yeah. So you should do it more slyly. Like, I don't know. It could be any movie. I don't know. 10 names?

Yeah, that's better. better okay and we come to Jessica I'm gonna say how many names do 11 11 total so 11 I'm gonna say 11 but you have to go down

you have to go down from his 10 bits you have to say 9 oh I do I'm gonna have to say 9 then okay thanks a lot Brendan and then we go to Lennon

and she can go lower or tell lower is a name it so Jessica yeah right your best friend forever huh I'll say eight oh nice I can go to Moshe name it fuck you I think with eight names she's gonna get it yeah 1985 mm-hmm all right your names are Bronson Pinchot, Dick Miller, Catherine O'Hara, Cheech Marin, John Hurd, Terry Gar, Linda Fiorentino, and, of course, Thomas Chong. I don't know why Cheech and Chong's names are several names apart in the listings, but... So Cheech and Chong were in this. Yeah. Somebody needs to get some sleep.

Right up my alley. He's an ordinary person. Only normal person in the movie. Right. 1985. What's it called? Um... I heard whispers. It's not like the price is right. I don't think we can go to the audience.

Although Moshe has done that. I'm sorry, guys. All right. Catherine O'Hara. Mr. Mom. Can I say it? That guy doesn't sleep much because he's got kids. Terry Gar is in that, too.

Yeah, and she's in it. What do you think it is? It's After Hours. Yeah. Yeah, After Hours. I knew it. The top three names were Verna Bloom, Rosanna Arquette, and Griffin Dunn.

Moshe gets a point. Moshe gets a point. That's a great movie. Now we start with Brendan again. Yeah. And then we head in Moshe's direction. So it might not even get to you, Jessica. Don't panic.

Don't panic. I'm so scared. Would you like to play one of these categories, Brendan? Would you like the number one movie ten years ago to this very day, the King of Pancakes category? Or a movie that's in theaters now?

That's movies that are in theaters now? Or extremely popular category just because of the title but it never gets picked. My Wife! Okay, let's do it. My Wife, which is films where the director is married to an actress in the film. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

Okay, that's what we're playing. We'll do it. This My Wife is from... It's funny, people on Twitter keep suggesting things like, how about My Knife? Movies where someone gets stabbed. This category is also... My Slice, movies about a pizza restaurant.

This is much harder than the other two categories, too. Sounds... Well, we'll see. It nails it down considerably. It doesn't happen that often. I mean, it happens. Two stars from Leonard. The movie's from 1984.

The director directed his own wife in it. Leonard calls this movie headache-inducing. I know it. And he also says it was followed by a sequel. And there are three, four, five, six, seven names listed. How many names do you think you can get it in, Brandon Walsh? I'll say five names. Strong opening bid.

We go to Moshe. Is it pussy if I say name it? I don't think you can do it. Not only is it not pussy, it's also potential game winner if he fails. Name it. Is it Terminator? Would you like

to hear the five names? He's out. I win. Is it Terminator? Okay, yeah, I'll hear the five names. What the hell, right? Yeah, why not? Let's hear the five names. Because they probably won't, well, unless they say, okay.

I mean, I only know two people in that movie. The one I'm thinking of. Let's see what happens when I name the five names. Okay. And I'm going to get you like some sort of game tutor or something

before the next time you come on. Yeah, I fucked up. I'm going to sit you down in a room with Sam Levine for a few hours. And then you'll come out a total champ.

Your names are Dan Aykroyd. Oh. Phillip. Wait a minute. Awesome in Terminator. Your names are Dan Aykroyd, Philip Stone, Roshan Seth, Amish Puri. Those are good clues. And then this is fantastic. You get five out of seven, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Your fifth name is Ki Hai Kwan. Ki Hai Kwan. Yeah. Everybody laughed because they know what it is now. Really? Mm-hmm.

I don't know who Ki Hai Kwan is. You don't know Ki Hai Kwan? Dan Aykroyd and Ki Hai Kwan. Well, I'm going to say, jeez. So this looks like Ki-Hai Kwan Is it Dan Aykroyd's wife? Did Dan Aykroyd direct it? That's the other thing about this game You can't ask for more clues

At this point You can stick with Terminator Okay, no, I won't say Terminator Is it I don't know, Spies Like Us? That's a good guess, because of course Dan Aykroyd would be seventh billed in that Chevy Chase Dan Aykroyd vehicle. You've already guessed. I win.

But Spies Like Us was around that time, though. You probably got around the right year. The remaining names are Kate Capshaw and Harrison Ford. Does that help you was around that time, though. You probably got around the right year. The remaining names are Kate Capshaw and Harrison Ford. Does that help you at all? Oh, yeah. It's Indiana Jones. And the Temple of Doom.

Oh, it's the Temple of Doom. Calimar, shop today. Calimar. I always like to think he's saying, Calimari, shop today. Get your calamamari. I'm going to change my answer back to Terminator. Okay, Moshe's Casher's a winner.

Well done, Moshe. Bringing the show in right on time. The dildo gets to name a shed. All I had to do was say name it twice. Yeah, that's, you know, some people will will at you on twitter like you won the cheap way or you know it's the easy way or whatever but i just like a winner personally cheap way yeah please don't picture me on twitter i'm really sensitive right now well as soon as you say that then you really get it what do you think what's all this paperwork you're filling out well i had to write down who the dildo wants for a now is brandon gonna keep this or do you need it back

it wasn't even the woman who gave it to you some other woman i'll take it the same woman who watches the end of greek gables every night where's christine at she's like i just pulled that out all out where'd you get it from right there all right here. We go I'm gonna try to hit you with it She didn't catch it, but I put it right there yeah I'm no Tim Tebow I Didn't run it over there Okay Who you play Oh Mia could you come over and share with me?

Who yeah just come stand up and write down somebody for me to call a shithead anywhere right here on this piece of paper. You won. Oh, you won. Sit the hell down. Take your damn prizes and sit down. Congratulations, Mia.

Do you want this or do you want this? Okay. Where's Layla? Where's Layla? Right here. Layla, get over here. She's a beautiful woman. Oh, nice.

She's got a nice walk and shorts on. Come on over here. I know, it's probably a little awkward to have to walk out on stage when you're not a... Just write down somebody for me to call a shithead. Sweet audience shot, huh, guys? Okay, that's an interesting one. And Jessica's playing for Julio slash... Yes, Ethan.

Ethan. Where's Ethan at? There you are. Come on over here, dude, and write down who you want me to call a shithead. This is the longest this process has ever taken. Watch Best Friends Forever on NBC. Oh, another nice ass shot.

I like it. Tuck up the flannel shirt. Everyone's letting me out. Just write it down there. Anybody you want me to call a shithead. Just FYI though. Anybody in the world. Brendan Walsh is his name.

While you're down there, have you ever had a pink dildo all up in your shit, sir? My name's Brendan. You want to name him? No. Because it spoils the surprise when you ask out loud. Yeah. And, uh... Walsh.

Yeah, yeah, that's fine. I'll remember it. You don't have to keep writing. I know his name. We all know what you're doing. He's going for it. He's still writing. Wow, he's saying a lot more than a shithead. He's got other things he wants me to say about you. His hand is shaking. He's all flushed with adrenaline right now.

What's the premiere date again? April 4th, 8.30. And then watch again on April 11th. And the 18th. Keep with it, you guys. What's on your shirt? There's a naked woman with Medusa hair. Oh, Ethan.

What does that say? Ethan! Oh, don't do it. There are snakes crawling down that woman's tits. You nailed it, buddy. Nice. He likes a challenge when it comes to tits. There's two venomous snakes hanging out.

Ethan, were you in a particularly brutal scene in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by any chance? No. Moshe, you got anything you want to plug? Any tour dates coming up?

Anything after Friday? Yeah, I am on Friday at Book Soup. I'm doing one of my release parties in LA and then I'm going on a tour all over the West Coast

and the Midwest. Go to MosheKasher.com. I'll be everywhere. San Francisco, Chicago, Oklahoma City, Austin, Vancouver, Seattle, blah, blah, blah. I'm going to be all over the place so please come Midwest. Go to motioncacher.com. I'll be everywhere. San Francisco, Chicago, Oklahoma City, Austin, Vancouver, Seattle,

blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm going to be all over the place, so please come see me. And my release party, you mean that you're going to jizz on someone? Yeah. And, um... Brandon, what do you got coming up?

I'll be... This is coming out Friday? Mm-hmm. I'll be at the Pachango Casino. Pachanga. Pachanga. So you really don't know anything. I don't have any knowledge in my head.

Pachango with Chelsea Peretti. And then April 5th through 7th I'll be at the Comedy Mix in Vancouver, Canada. Oh, that's fun. That's always a good time up there. I like that place. All right.

And I'm going to be at Skyline Comedy Cafe in Appleton, Wisconsin on April 9th. Doug loves movies. Tapings at Helium in Portland on April 14th and 15th and at Cobbs in San Francisco on April 19th. And I'm recording my next album on 420

at Parlor Live in Bellevue, Washington. Thank you to all of my guests. Let's hear it for them. Thanks, guys. And we may have a winner for the strangest set of three shitheads I've ever had to say out loud. As always, Brendan Walsh is a shithead because he looks

like Van... like Mar from Home Alone? Oh, the Home Alone guy. Yeah, yeah. I get that all the time. Oh, Marv. He looks like Marv from Home Alone. One of the burglars from Home Alone. Okay. And burglars from Home Alone.

Okay, and then Mark is a shithead. Just Mark. I guess he's sitting next to Layla. And then the lovely Christine with the dildo. She wanted me to say that premature ejaculation is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talk. He wanted me to say that premature ejaculation is shit.