Doug Loves Movies - Leonard Maltin, Rob Huebel, and Anthony Jeselnik Guest

Episode Date: December 13, 2012

Doug welcomes famed film critic Leonard Maltin to the show, along with comedians Rob Huebel and Anthony Jeselnik.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming 50-50 seats With 50-50 ads and homework hurdles in his feet There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you for the last time at 7.30 at the UCB Theater in Hollywood. Starting January 8th, the weekly show will be at 7 and it will still be free. And folks with tickets to put your hands together the new

stand up comedy show that's going to follow this show every week with a lot of the same great acts that you're used to seeing on Comedy Bang Bang formerly Comedy Death Ray formerly not a thing now also not a thing it's still a thing it's a podcast anyway you can stay in your sweet

sweet seats if you come to see the Douglas movies before put your hands together. It's December 11th, 2 Oceans 12. Since last I spoke and you listened, I went through a motion picture gauntlet in Austin, Texas doing a Benson movie interruption

and two Master Pancake shows at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz and then attending Harry Knoll's Buttnumathon, a 24-hour marathon of 11 feature films, some old, some premieres, plus old and new trailers and drop-ins by filmmakers involved to do Q&A sessions. For 24, it turned out to be 26 straight hours, and I could not have been happier about it. I went into it thinking, oh, fuck, how am I going to stay awake through 11 movies back to back?

But it turns out there's a 10-minute break in between each one. And there's a beautiful outdoors waiting for me to go out and do my thing. And as long as I masturbated in between every movie... No, I got through it. I did this thing a few times where your head starts to bob, but I stuck with it

through every goddamn movie. And it's a fantastic event that I will attend every year from now on that i am allowed and one of the films was the 48 frames per second 3d version of the hobbit an unexpected journey and i like the movie especially the golem part and the action sequences are the best parts and this is one of the few times that the 3D didn't give me a headache. But at the same time, the 48 frames thing, have you guys heard about

this? Like 5% of the theater showing this movie, it's going to be 48 frames per second instead of the regular 24. And the idea is it makes it all look even more real and sharp and crisp. But to me, it made it look like I was watching an HD special

about people who dress up like Lord of the Rings characters and then walk around on the side of a mountain. It just looks like TV. It's weird and it totally takes me out of the Middle Earth thing. But the scenes that are more at night and have more action

work better in that format. But it's still interesting. And Peter Jackson is a crazy motherfucker. Two hours and 46 minutes long, and it's the first of three parts. And it's one book. Like, I think the Harry Potter and Twilight movies

have really fucking cracked open this, why tell the story of a book in one movie? Why not break it up into three or four parts? Just one book. Now it's time for Tweet Relief tweets about movies. At Harry Says Shtick tweeted

a more appropriate title for Skyfall would have been No Country for Old M. This has been Tweet Relief. Tweets about movies. Yeah, give it up for Harry. He says schtick. Follow that a-hole.

Hey, weed got legal in Washington State as a few days ago, so I am bringing Doug Love's movies to Parler Live in Bellevue, Washington on Saturday, January 12th at 4.20. It was the earliest, soonest booking I could get. Now it's time for Not For Metaphobes.

I saw the premiere of The Impossible last night. Pretty intense movie in general. Some pretty gnarly shit in there. But there's a hospital scene with some of the most disgusting on-screen vomiting I have ever seen. So gross. This has been Not For Metaphobes.

I guess I should give more of a warning. Hospital scene, that's a pretty good warning. I don't want to say too much more because it gives it away. Prize bag, let's look in the prize bag. A lot of great stuff. One of the people here tonight is featured in the film I Love You Man. So there's a DVD or a Blu-ray of that.

And then my Doug Dixit is a copy of Marley and Me. Watch fucking Marley and Me and don't tell me you didn't cry at the end and then I will kick you in the balls. I'll teach you how to cry. Such an angry attitude about Marley and me. A CD by a person that's going to be out here in a second.

A book I know nothing about. Called Ready Player One. It was in my Button-O-Mathon swag bag. They even give you swag. And people can bring pillows and just crash out during the black and white movie at five in the morning. And I loved

it. This is another thing from the Button-O-Mathon swag bag. My CD. Oh, I love this. This is from Button-O-Mathon also. It's a Christmas card where it's salacious crumb in an ugly Christmas sweater holding a candy cane and sitting next to

Slave Leia. That's a pretty nice Christmas card. If I had anybody that I would send a Christmas card to, that's what I would have done with it. And a Douglas Movies t-shirt. I spilled the news that this gentleman was going to be here.

Some of you may still be surprised by it. But please give a big warm welcome to Rob Hubel, Anthony Jeselnik, and Mr. Leonard Maltin. Before we begin, Doug, I just want to thank Leonard for getting us super high backstage. You're welcome. He's such a good guy. Fourth time on the show. But who's counting? Leonard Maltin, everybody.

Come on. Can you believe it? You may not know that I'm here at a moment of high controversy in my career. I'm well aware of the controversy because we are now attached in the world of the Twitterverse. And I have gotten a gazillion tweets. Many are quite angry in tone. That's right.

That Mr. Leonard Maltin, our beloved Leonard Maltin, is the only reason that playing for keeps hasn't gotten an absolute zero from the critics on Rotten Tomatoes. You are the holdout. And your review could not be more disinterested in the film you saw.

Absolutely. Absolutely. I don't praise the film. I don't defend the film. I just call it as I see it. It's kind of a mediocre romantic comedy drama

with attractive people going about their business yeah who's it gonna hurt in a predictable script give it an okay review exactly it's an inoffensive movie not the worst movie

exactly do you get to see Gerard Butler's dick or balls I don't recall don't remember no could you not ask the questions that I've prepared before I have a chance to ask them dick or balls? I don't recall. Don't remember? No. Could you not ask the questions that I've prepared

before I have a chance to ask them? It's rude, but it's Rob Hubel, everybody. Rob Hubel is here. I don't think that comes with the ticket of admission. It's probably on the DVD.

Maybe it's on the DVD. That's right. That's right. But can you believe that it's over this movie that there is this thunderstorm online and in the Twitterverse? I mean, really. That's what we're talking about? But it's fun. You really, you know, you stuck your neck out.

I screwed them up. And you did the a solid, actually, because that's the only way people are going to hear about this movie is through this. As soon as I saw the ad, I was like, finally, a fall-down laughing comedy starring Gerard Butler and Jessica Biel and Catherine Zeta-Jones and Dennis Quaid.

What a laugh riot this is going to be. You cannot find four funnier humans. Not to mention Uma Thurman. And Uma Thurman. Maybe I left her out because she's awesome sometimes. How come no one's mentioning soccer? Is it in the trailer? I haven't really paid it in the trailer?

I haven't really paid attention to the trailer, but do they show soccer in it? Soccer figure's prominently in the movie. Yeah. It's like dancing in Silver Linings Playbook. The only reason soccer's in that movie is so German people will go see that movie. It worked for ladybugs. So you're...

What's happening? Don't TJ Miller me, Leonard. When I walked in tonight, I didn't think there would be a reference to ladybugs tonight. Oh yeah, I'll throw them all out there. We'll see what happens.

But let's introduce Anthony Jeselnik really quickly because he, of course, is a fan favorite. My pick to win the Leonard Maltin game tonight, by the way. What? No offense. What? It's great. I've been on the show with Rob before.

I've never been on the show with the great Leonard Maltin, who I like to refer to as Lucky Roger Ebert. You really dodged a bullet there. Several bullets. You have a special debuting on Comedy Central on Sunday night called Caligula. That's the 13th of January.

When is this airing? 13th of January? I just saw a thing that made it seem like it was this Sunday. I don't think you read the thing. We've got 13th of something. January 13th, look for that. And why is it called Caligula?

Because I named my album Shakespeare, and I wanted to do another historic name. And I like that no one, people don't really know who Caligula was, even though they should. Plus, it was the most famous porn movie of all time. So people should know. I have a joke in there that mentions Caligula.

Oh, cool. I've got that. I'm going to be on Leno January 10th. Why aren't you writing this down? And then I just have to work on my TV show

The Jesselnik Offensive that'll be on February 19th. It's Tuesday. Sounds sweet. So replay this. Okay. You know how

podcasting works, right? Listeners, make a note listeners to listen to this one once a month for the next couple of months. And just be grateful he did his plugs in the beginning instead of waiting until the end. I have to do that because I'm never coming back here. Now,

Caligula, did you ever see the movie? Yeah, I mean, parts of it. Of course, Leonard has. Leonard gave it one and a half stars. And you wrote a sentence I'd like to ask you about. Leonard has. Leonard gave it one and a half stars. And you wrote a sentence I'd like to ask you about. You wrote, chutzpah and six minutes of

not bad hardcore footage. I don't even need to finish the sentence. Earned I don't even need to finish the sentence. Gave, earned this half a star. So half a star was devoted just to the chutzpah and the six minutes of not bad hardcore footage.

So do you have anything to say about that? No. Nothing that won't get me in trouble. In one degree or another. I mean, as you know, I have a staff, a wonderful team of people who write this book with me, the movie guide every year. You're referring to the movie guide, of course. Yes, yes. That paperback book that makes such a great stocking stuffer. Yes. Yes.

Right. The app is not as good a stocking stuffer as the book, for sure. Plus, I think he's referring to that email. Oh, well, never mind. But one of my... Anthony puts his microphone down. One of my hearty contributors wrote that review. Oh, sure.

So next time you're on, find out which one it was and talk to them about where they came up with the expression not bad hardcore. And they're like, why every review in this book doesn't say there was no hardcore in this movie.

So we're docking it half a star for that. That's just a given. I wonder if there was any not bad hardcore in playing for keeps. Not in the theatrically released version. That's just a given. I wonder if there was any not bad hardcore in playing for keeps. Not in the theatrically released version. Right, again on the DVD. Now Leonard, what did you expect from

What to Expect When You're Expecting? Do you go into a movie like that? I'm sorry I was in a shitty movie. With your head down low. Do you just walk in? I'm sure you were a highlight of that shitty movie. I never saw it, but...

They certainly sold it like it was Rob Hubel walking around with a baby, the movie. It's how they sold it. They sneakily put us in the billboards for that. Like, we didn't know that. And then I was like, oh, I'm not really in that movie. And then I was like on the billboard. So, yeah, I don't know why they did that. but you got a trip to Atlanta out of it right it was a yeah man Atlanta sweet pretty

sweet in August outside with babies zombies pretty awesome but yeah that's a shitty movie you don't need to see that movie it's actually not that shitty no it's not that bad yeah it's not that bad you have been in worse movies you

that's actually true but you've got a movie that's going to be playing in Sundance yeah Hell Baby called Hell Baby Tom Lennon

and Ben Grant's movie yeah so that's exciting Rob Corddry yeah it's good Keegan-Michael Key yeah Tom Lennon and Ben Grant's movie. Yeah. So that's exciting. Yeah, it's good. Keegan-Michael Key. Yeah, you could go on and on. Yeah, I could name a lot of people.

Kumail. How many names do you think you can get it in? It's already started. I can name that movie in five names because I was in it. Paul Scheer. Yeah. But yeah, it's supposed to be really good. I haven't seen it.

I got to see a screening of it and I'm going to hold my opinion until later. You son of a... What does that mean? It means I didn't like it. If I liked it, I'd just say so. Hey, man. You like the Hobbit more than I did. First of all,

I don't know how you know that. It must have been a bit of a snooze for you. It was a bit of a snooze. Yeah. Yes. Because it's just endless. Yeah. Here's the Hobbit. It's the whole history of the Middle Earth. I know. After you get past the establishing, the

introductory section of the film, in the Shire, when they all call on Bilbo Baggins in his little home, and you meet these dwarves who are indistinguishable from one another. There's a fat one. There's one that looks like Bruce Valanche. Yeah. And then they start on their quest, right, on this journey. So they go on this journey.

Gandalf has sort of sent them on this journey and convinced Bilbo to go on their quest, right, on this journey. So they go on this journey. Gandalf has sort of sent them on this journey and convinced Bilbo to go on this quest. And then they run into a group of really ugly monsters, really ugly, and they have a big battle. Are the monsters real? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hyper real in 48 frames per second.

Sure they are. And then they journey on and they meet another group of hideously ugly monsters and have another big battle. Oh, boy. Which is followed by a little more journey and then another battle with another group of really ugly, hideous monsters. The whole damn movie. Yeah, it's like you're relieved when they stop to solve some riddles. Yes. That's the part where you're like, oh, now I'm in. I know what

riddles are. And does the guy from the British office do that adorable thing where he looks into the camera and goes... Yeah, that's the weird thing about this one is it's found footage style. That's right.

He's very likable. Martin Freeman is very likable, and that's good casting. Yeah, yeah. My problem is I don't like beards, so I have no interest in them. Oh, well, this is the wrong movie for you. I just noticed you have a beard. Well, do you have the same reaction in person as you do in the movie theaters? No. In person, love them.

On screen, make me sick. Home free. That was a narrow escape. That was a narrow escape. Leonard, what's the highest number of films that you've seen in a 24-hour period? You beat me. You've absolutely topped me. Seven is the most I've seen in a 24-hour period? You beat me. You've absolutely topped me. Seven is the most I've seen.

And those were old movies, which were not 2 hours and 46 minutes long. They push it, though, sometimes. Do you know that movie Nightmare Alley? Yeah. That movie could have ended five times. It was like they needed to keep going for some reason. Well, but you wouldn't change the ultimate ending, though, of that movie, would you?

No, no. It's a great ending. They could have gotten there quicker, though. Often true. It is quite a shocking ending. Yes, it is. I was very pleased by it. I feel like you guys are the only one that know what you're talking about.

No one else here. It's true. Please don't spoil Nightmare Alley for us. We can't say. We can't say for two reasons. We don't want to spoil it for you because you're never going to see it anyway. Everyone listening to this at work is like, fucking fast forward this podcast.

But we saw White Heat and I think everyone knows that at the end of White Heat, Jimmy Cagney is on top of that some sort of power plant or something and he screams, White Heat! Oil refinery.

An oil refinery. And he goes, I'm on top of the world, ma! Right? Everybody knows that. This is like listening to someone describe their vacation. No one cares what movies you saw

No, but I'm saying a specific thing about this movie That'll be fun when you hear all of it So, I mean Now, did you just see So, hang on, hang on, hang on I'm there Come on, don't Pete Holmes me He goes, I'm at the top of the world, man

And some guy shoots And the whole oil tank explodes And he just He bursts into flame. And it's hilarious. Because it's just so weird. He's like, I'm on top of the world, and then he's done. And then, they have to do this in old movies. Then they cut to a guy on the ground, one of the cops,

looks at one of the other cops and goes, you know, that guy wanted the world. And in the end, he got it. And then it says the end. It has the dramatic music. All right, you're right, Anthony. That was a horrible vacation. That's the story that ends.

So we left three days before Hurricane Sandy. Why did you tell us that? I don't think that's a fair comparison. Now, you say, was Nightmare Alley part of the marathon that you just went through? Yes, sir. Is that really the setting in which you can judge whether a movie's too long when you're up for 26 hours watching movies? Well, sure, yeah.

They pulled a fast one a few years ago in the Button-Up-A-Thon. The last movie was Che, the four-and-a-thon. The last movie was Che, the four-and-a-half-hour... Oh, God, the Steven Soderbergh Che? Oh, my. Yes, that was the last movie. After being up all night, they had to watch a four-and-a-half-hour movie

about... What's his name? And so that was kind of a bummer for them, but for me, it worked out pretty nicely. Like, I was the most tired when Roller came on and the original settle down and I got through that okay cuz I you know I'd seen it already I was already familiar with it and then and then the next few movies were like you know these just these great things we got to see so it was sweet. Right, Anthony?

I feel like that story took 26 hours. You're hanging on every word. But it was 48 frames per second, so that must have been fascinating to you. I don't know what to recommend, how people should see this Hobbit, like 2D, 3D, IMAX. I don't think you can see it in 2D.

I think 3D is kind of an imperative, whether you see it in IMAX I don't think you can see it in 2d I I think 3d is kind of an imperative whether you see it in IMAX or or 24 frames or 48 frames those are the three choices but I believe they're all in 3d but I didn't mind the 3d that hyper reality I don't know like you it was like watching like the the super bowl on a high def tv set set or something. Yeah, it's weird looking. I'm going to go to the fourth choice and say cable. Yeah, well... Where you can take the nap you'll be wanting to take in the theater.

But I got bored twice as fast at 48 frames per second, so that may have, you know... Oh, Leonard. How do you do it? Every time. Let's just pick a review at random and read it out loud. You can say whether or not you wrote it.

What does he say about Demi Does Dallas? I don't think that's in here, Anthony. It didn't make the cut. Yeah, it didn't have enough not bad hardcore in it. That is some not bad hardcore. If you wrote a book where you just reviewed

porno movies throughout history, it would be the highest selling book. Well, this is why I don't have a commercial orientation. What about a book where you just review other people's reviews? Ah, well that's called the internet.

Let's see what you wrote about Gnomeo and Juliet. Gnomeo and Juliet. Cute, sometimes clever, film for kids. Looks good, but never develops its story and characters as fully as one might like. You just sit there going, I might like this to be better. Yeah, pretty much.

Songs, both old and new, by Executive Bruce Reel and John and Bernie Taupin. So that's a two and a half, two and a half. Yeah. Like, giving out the stars seems like that would be difficult. It is hard because it's so arbitrary. Same as Fresh or Rotten on Rotten Tomatoes. Most movies are

somewhere in the middle. The majority of movies that I see are not great and not terrible. They're somewhere in that mid-range. They're called playing for keeps. That's right. And there's a lot of those kind of movies. And some of them edge a little bit more toward good, and some of them edge a little more toward bad.

But they're not extreme. Every producer I've ever worked for in television, every editor I've ever worked for says, people want to know what you really feel. And I say, well, that's what I really feel. No, you've got to feel it more. They want you to hate it. They want you to love it.

That's what they think people respond to. But I think being honest is a better way to go. You know what's interesting, Doug, is that there are two other people on this podcast. Alright, so what's your approach to reviewing films? Does anyone reindeer for games? It's the holidays. Oh, that's a thing?

Say it that weird way. Let's play the game we all know and love. Because he's here. What's it called? Build-A-Titan. No, no. Let's just play the Leonard Moulton game. All right.

Yeah, let's do it. So I ask each of my guests at this point in the show to go pick a player that they would like to play for from the audience and bring the name tag back to your seat. Rob is always really good at this. Not very good. People don't like it when I play for them because they don't want to fucking seat. Rob is always really good at this. I'm not very good. People don't like it when I play

for them because they don't want to fucking lose. Oh. Jude loves movies and a big thing of cookies or something. There's a Frisbee over there if you're into that sort of thing. Oh, two down, one to go. Come on, Rob. That lady's coat.

I like that shirt. Is that a shirt that says Batsam on it? A jacket? All right. Oh, look at that, a goblet. Wow. Joshua's goblet. Okay, so Rob is playing for Joshua,

who scribbled his name on a souvenir from medieval times. Has anything gross ever been in this goblet? No. Why was there a weird pause? Maybe. Who are you playing for, Anthony?

I am playing for Emily, who gave me... It's a teddy bear from Ikea that says... It's got a thing on it that says, buy a soft toy, help educate a kid. I imagine if you have kids, they're dumb as shit. Okay, so Emily. Thank you, Emily. What? Emily. Emily, yes so Emily. Thank you, Emily.

What? Emily. Emily, yes, Emily. And Leonard, please be nicer to the... to who you're playing for. Well, I can only be nice to someone named Zed because they've done their Post-It note on a poster for La Grande Illusion,

the great genre noir film. So, classic movie like that caught my eye. You knew Leonard was going to be here, right, Zed? That's over there. That was pretty sneaky of you. Over there. Nice work, Zed. Because none of my, no other guests I've had in the history of the show would care about

that movie and pick that name tag. He really nailed it. So, good luck. Anybody can win. Like I said earlier, Anthony's my pick. There's no fucking way. I buried you

the last time we played together. You got so lucky. I buried you. So lucky. You got two things and zero clues. You got unlucky

by being on the show with me. Not this time, man. I have Joshua's fart cup right here. Alright, I don't really go in for that sort of... Alright, we'll let Leonard pick the first category.

Would you like, at Mayor of Fart Town, suggested... Suggested Alex Crossdresser, and that's Madea films. The Madea movies. And what other categories do we have? We've also got Kate Witko. Kate Witko suggested Love Actually,

which is movies where the actors in the film are married in real life. Or, at Tim Vargulish suggested, No Time for Love, Dr. Jones! And that's movies where Harrison Ford does not have sex. I think I'll go for the second choice, the married couples. Okay, married in real life. All right, so this has got a couple in it that's married in real life. And we'll start with you, and then we'll go to Anthony over here. Wait, I'm sorry, just to clarify, they're still married,

or they were married at the time of the movie? At the time of the movie, you know, in a game devised by someone who's probably high. So keep that in mind. All right, so we'll go to you second, Anthony, and then we'll go to... How many times have you been on the show, Rob? My name's Rob Hebel.

No, but how many times have you been on? I don't know, like 27 times. I was Hebel. No, but how many times have you been on? I don't know, like 27 times. Because I was going to throw in like 27-time loser. Check the record, man. I think I've won. 1966 is the year of this film in which two of the people in it are actually married. And Mr. Malton gave that movie three and a half

stars and Leonard you said about it that it is that it broke Hollywood taboos and then you also said you also said that it was a first time first time director first time director and you listed four names. How many names do you think you could tell us the name of this movie is? Well, this is just a present. This is a nice Hanukkah present for me. You picked a category.

I'm getting all religious on this. I can do this in zero names. Zero names. I've got to say, it's almost like you're asking a senile man questions about his own family. And we've got to compete with you. Almost.

Almost, yeah. Yeah, this isn't about his family. But he wrote the fucking... How do we go negative? I really don't know this. That's why I went for Mary Kelly. I would believe you if you didn't just say zero names. Do you think you have an idea what it is, Anthony?

I have no idea. Okay, so you just have to say name it. Yeah, name that movie, please. What's it called, Leonard? Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf. That's correct. Because it's Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, and the first time director was Mike Nichols.

And it crossed my mind when I was putting this in here that it would be fun if Leonard happened to get this one because this is something new. It may be the last one. That was fun. Okay.

So who sat that one out? Rob. Me. You get to pick. You get to pick the next category. You get to go first, buddy. All right. All right?

Movies with Lindsay Lohan playing Elizabeth Taylor. All right, I'm ready. You get to pick a category, and then we go to Anthony to turn the direction around. Would you like In Theaters Now? That's movies that are in theaters now. Might also be somewhat of a gimme for Leonard

since he wrote the review a day or two ago. Here's one for you. Doug loves Goonies That's movies that feature cast members from the movie Goonies Right Comma the Or At Wiggly Wigs suggested Molar Express

That's movies that have dentists in them That one you like the dentist one all right there's a dentist in this movie from 2008 Leonard and his peeps give it three stars he says the main character is acerbic and he also says that the movie is funny and heartfelt. And he lists nine names. Do you remember if you wrote that movie? How many? You can't

ask questions. What do you mean? That's also a question. Can you read again what you read? We'll read it all again for you. Three stars. Because I saw this movie. Three stars from Leonard. Dentist is the category.

2008. An acerbic character. Movies funny and heartfelt. Nine names. How many? Really, Leonard? It was really funny? You really thought it was funny?

I say this from time to time, whether or not I agree. I agree with leonard on this one um i can name this movie in five names i'm just trying to make it fun what's up holmes how does that how does that make it fun this this guy? Why don't you do me a solid and name that movie? All right. All right, here's your five names. Come on, fart chalice. Brian Darcy James.

That's three. Wait, what order are you going in? This is like the background waiter's names. Yes, we go from the bottom as we do all 27 times you've been on the show. Brian Darcy James. Yeah. Alan Ruck. Asif Manvi.

Asif Manvi from The Daily Show? Yeah, that guy. Dana Ivey and Kristen Wiig are your five names. Everybody here knows it. Good luck. You have five seconds. Three, two, one. Wait a second.

How much time do I have? Four. You have five seconds. Give me the names again. Asaf. Pronounce Asaf's name right, first of all. Okay, Asaf. That would make it clearer for me. Okay.

Alan Ruck. Alan Ruck. Brian Darcy James. Dana Ivey. Kristen Wiig. Four names remaining in this movie

that has a dentist in it. I'm ready. Say it. The dentist. Point goes to Anthony. The film is called Ghost Town with Ricky Gervais.

Ghost Town. Oh, no one saw that movie. He was a dentist and it was funny and it was heartfelt. Is this a movie It's called Ghost Town with Ricky Gervais. Ghost Town. No one saw that movie. He was a dentist and it was funny and it was heartfelt. Is this a movie when he's walking around and he's saying stuff? Yeah. That's the one.

Greg Kinnear is a ghost and he needs Ricky Gervais, the dentist, to help him. And it's really good. It's a funny movie. Yeah, I liked it. We'll start with you again, Leonard. I can't believe I blew that. Sorry, Joshua. How come I don't get to start? By the way, Joshua

You just got the point. Joshua has brain cancer, okay? That's who I'm playing for. Maybe you should give him his helmet back This helmet protects his brain From the cancer cells It's not working Alright, so what's the score?

So Leonard gets to pick a category The score is one for Leonard and one for Anthony How many for me? You've got to catch up, Rob You're still at zero. But you have a chance here, because Leonard's going to start, and then it's going to come to you. And Leonard gets to pick between, at F+, suggested,

human Santa-pede. And that's movies with multiple Santas. With multiple Santas? Multiple Santas in them. OK. Yeah, for some reason or another. Play Misty, for me me is movies that they played on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Or in theaters, hey now, the films of Jeffrey Tambor or Gary Shandling. Those are all good. Golf applause for that one. Fuck you. Hey, man. I like those guys. Golf applause for that one. Fuck you. Hey, man. I like those guys.

Which one of those do you like, Leonard? None, but let's say... Let's say you had to pick one. If I had to pick... Well, let's try multiple Santas. We'll do something seasonal. Thank you. I appreciate it. The year is 1983.

Two and a half stars from you. You said that this movie has a fine cast. And then you also says that... You also says? Yes. You says that the lead performer in this movie, it's that person's second film. And there are 13 names listed.

How many names do you think you can get it in? I wasn't even born in 1983. I'll say 10 names. That's a good, strong opening opening bid Rob is making a face This is to me? No, it's to you, yes sir Why not an idiot head over here? Wait, now if I

say nine names does he get to go name that movie again? And force me into it? Or is it just between me and him? Pretend Anthony

isn't here. No, it's going to go to Anthony next. Yeah, that's how it works. Same as it ever was. I know he's going to say, look at him, he's like the devil. Staring at me. I cannot wait. What did you say?

Ten names? All right. Just make up a number. Doesn't matter. I can name it in five names. I know this one. I totally know it.

83, I was sitting there in the theater watching it. Super psyched at all the Santas. I can't wait. I knew it would pay off someday. I'm starting to wonder if I'm right about the Santas.

I'm pretty sure. Well, that's good enough for me There's at least one How many stars did you get again? Oh good question Two and a half Two and a half Okay Why is that a good question?

For a second I thought I knew it And I was gonna guess it On zero names just to fucking strut. Do it. Please do that. And plus, it would tie the game up so we could keep playing. We've got time.

Go for it. If you get it right, that doesn't tie the game up. You win. But if I get it wrong, it ties the game up. Oh, sure. But now it's two and a half stars. I don't think I'm right.

Come on, man. And it's just a chance. I don't get a lot of chances to embarrass Rob like this. No, you know it. You know this. You know this. You know this movie. You have seen this.

It's a Christmas classic. I do like the three-way tie thing. We've got four minutes left. We've got time for another round. Dude, okay. I think four minutes is just enough time for me to say Rob Hubel. Name that movie.

All right, Josh. We do know he's gonna think about it for a few minutes. Alright. How many names did I say? Five names. Alright, give them to me. Okay.

You have a chance. Dude, I know this. Bill Cobbs. I thought you were going to say Cobbs-bee. Santa Claus! What's Bill Cosby's best movie, do you think, Leonard? Probably Uptown Saturday Night., probably Uptown Saturday Night. Oh, Uptown Saturday Night.

Yeah, that was pretty good, right? Because he made some plunkers in his later... I would have loved it if you had said Leonard Part 6. Or Ghost Dad. Yeah. Okay. Tom Davis, Al Franken, Alfred Drake,

and James Belushi. Fuck. Those are the five names on the bottom of 13 names in this movie that might have multiple Santas. Can you say the names again, please? Two and a half stars. Bill Cobbs. Cobbs B.

Franken and Davis. Franken and Davis? They're a team? Bill build is one i'm just saying that's who they are yeah uh alfred drake and james belushi i call him jim jimmy b what christmas movie did james belushi do i'm so glad i don't have brain cancer. In 83, do you know this letter? You can give the name of Shithead. That'll be fun for you.

I'm not talking. I think I might know it too. No. You're so, both of you are such dicks. Scrooged? I don't know. I don't know. That's not a terrible guess.

That probably has more than one Santa in it. That's what I would have guessed. It's got so many fucking Santas. No, tell me if I'm wrong, but Trading Places had a bunch of Santas in it, right? Just one? Just Dan Aykroyd dressed as one? Didn't he have to get the suit from somebody?

An actual Santa? On the train there might have been more. On the train there might have been... Oh, yeah. You know, right before they throw Mama. Anyway, I apologize if that was a mislead. Why is everybody making fun of my voice? Anyway, I apologize if that was a mislead.

Why is everybody making fun of my voice? Why'd that guy get in a microphone? But yeah, of course, Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy and Trading Places. Wait, Leonard, would you have gotten that? Was that the answer, Trading Places? No, I just had that whole conversation. Because it's Scrooge! We've got to... Well, you did that about fucking white heat for 40 minutes.

I'm on top of the world, Ma! That guy wanted the world. Can we just take a moment? I won the game. No. Can we take a moment to admit that I just walked into Leonard Mullen's house? And fucked everything he owns. He's got family. Everything he owns.

I put my dick in it. His family. His daughter's here. They're looking at me. This is upsetting. Oh, my God. I said, who would you like me to have on the show with you, Leonard? And he was like, I trust your judgment.

He said, get the guy from what to expect when you're expecting. You guys were having a nice conversation backstage about the descendants. You were both being very sincere with one another. That's before the competition began. Yeah, right. That's when things got heated. Well, Leonard, you gave it a great

shot. You know, you got a point. That's better than one of the other players. That's a start. I got distracted, man. So you were playing for Joshua? The guy with brain cancer. Joshua, can you come up here as your dying wish? Tell us about your cancer. I will call anyone you want a shithead cancer. Joshua, can you come up here and as your dying wish,

I will call anyone you want a shithead, but Joshua, come up here and write down who you want me to call a shithead on this paper, please. You don't really have brain cancer, do you, buddy? See, now you're immune from brain cancer because we joked about it. And the universe would never give it to you.

Sorry, man. Oh, you shook hands with everybody? No, I don't think so. Just rude. There's no reason to deny that, but both of my hands were full. Very rude. I've got a show to wrap up. We're a minute over.

Apologies to whatever's going next. It's a benefit for Josh's brain cancer. Here's your prizes, Emily. And oh, don't forget Leonard Maltin's Two Oceans 13 movie guide. There you go. Congratulations.

Anything else to plug besides the book and the app? We're an e-book now, we're available for Kindle or for Nook first time ever and it's working out pretty well so the book is out there in many forms and the iPhone app is still there

and the classic movie guide is also available for people who are addicted to may I hold that one up? that's a whole separate book yeah let's hold that one up why am I holding it up? for people who are watching the podcast. They can't see that I have a book in my hand.

Because I am the editor of a classic movie guide, I take the moment to say, what he says is, made it ma, top of the world. Oh, Lord. Zing. Zing. You stay down, Benson. No, no, just gotta... Famous quote, gotta. Zing. Zing. You stay down, Benson. No, no, just got to...

Famous quote, got to get it right. Oh, my God. Next time you're on, Rob, I'll make it a little easier for you and we'll use the classic. Please. Because I think you'll fare better. Oh, that's going to be great.

I'm just going to whip this out from time to time and make people play it. It'll be awesome. Thank you for bringing that. And Rob, what do you got coming up? Children's Hospital? More of that? Yeah, we just started shooting that. Season 5. Thank you.

Yep. And then I'll plug Anthony's specials or whatever you plugged. Yeah, plug everything until April. Alright, I'll do that. And I'll plug Leonard's weed because it got me fucked up.

Always with the excuses you are. And yeah, Anthony, you got all your plugs in earlier. I just want to plug this episode. Listen to it again because I just fucking rocked it. You really stepped up as expected and as always

can the three of us take our shirts off just for the people watching the podcast for the people watching the podcast no I don't really want to do that please one more time for Anthony Jaselnik and Rob Hubel Mr. Leonard Malton.

I'm going to get a picture of you guys right after I say, as always, Rod Serling is a shithead. And Los Angeles Public Transit is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you

cause Doug loves movies.