Doug Loves Movies - Leonard Maltin, Samm Levine, and Graham Elwood Guest

Episode Date: February 4, 2010

Doug, Samm, and Graham welcome a very special guest to the podcast: film critic Leonard Maltin.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody! I'm a little, I'm looking at the table set up here, and I'm not entirely comfortable with it for some reason. Let me see if I, I'm also looking for my, you know how I always have notes of everything I want to talk about? Oh, there they are. Okay, good. That would have been messed up. This is too special of a show for me to screw it up.

But let's start by rearranging the furniture. Tonight's episode is brought to you by Ikea and all of their lovely products that aren't on this stage right now. Thank you. Scott Aukerman helping me out, everybody. Let's hear it for Scott Aukerman. I don't know why he flipped you off, but that's what he did.

Because I can say that that's what he did. All right. Wow, that was great. That was a great way to eat up the first few minutes of the podcast. Those of you who are listening right now, maybe for the first time ever, this is pretty much what it's like every time. And you should unsubscribe Goodbye

Hey everybody, I love movies And we're all here at the UCB Theater In Los Angeles To talk about movies And tonight At Comedy Death Ray Is going to be a Here at the UCB Theater

Is going to be a record release party CD release party for Kyle Kinane, very funny guy. And his record is called Death of the Party. So those of you listening to the podcast now, it's too late to come down to UCB for this particular event. But I'm just telling you because I have no idea why I'm telling you. So you, or Entertainment Weekly, asked, they asked Glenn Close recently

to name her favorite acting roles, and she responded by saying, that's like Sophie's choice. And I thought, you mean that picking your favorite parts is like choosing between which one of your children you'll never see again? And then she chose 101 Dalmatiansians so at least she made it count time to bring out my guests uh this is um is it that time already um okay we rearranged the table

okay yeah we've done everything that we need to do to prepare for these amazing guests. It's the beginning of Black History Month, as we taped this on February 2nd, 2010. So please welcome to the stage, ladies and gentlemen, Graham Elwood and Sam Levine. Hey, guys. Hi, Doug. Hello. Nice to see you. Hey guys Hi Doug Hello Nice to see you These are both I Love Movie veterans

One is an incredibly talented Insanely funny performer And the other one is Graham Elwood I saw that one coming Bullshit I heard you shaking my head Two funny guys Two friends of mine

And now you're all sitting there saying here in the audience, the live audience there's an empty seat. Why is there one seat vacant still? I know this is a fucking very unproduced program but I can't imagine

that Doug would be so high that he would have room and a microphone available for an extra guest who is not here. And Sam Levine helped to secure this guest for the show, so I'd like to give Sam the honors of introducing this very special guest. Thank you so much, Doug.

Well, first off, I did not do it alone. I did it with the help of this guest's awesome daughter, Jessie. That's a clue. Does anybody know it yet? I don't want to give it away. I don't want to give it away on the first and last name. If you are a listener of this podcast, then you know there is a name that is uttered at least once every time in this podcast so it is my great pleasure to introduce to you the namesake of Doug Benson's game Mr. Leonard Maltin wow are you kidding me are you kidding me outstanding dude

I thought I thought it was gonna be Brad Pitt that would have been so stupid this is so much better I thought it was going to be Brad Pitt That would have been so stupid This is so much better I thought it was going to be William Defoe Did you say William Defoe? He said William I'm going to murder you It's not William Defoe Oh this is my drink over here

I took the label off of mine so there wouldn't be any confusion Can you believe it you guys? Leonard Maltin is here I just met him backstage. Happy to be here. I'm losing my mind. This is so cool. What is the patch on your shirt named?

I'm a fan of the New York World's Fair from 1939-40. I was not there. I wasn't alive. But I love reading about it and seeing photos of it. And those are the symbols, the Trilon and Perisphere. And this is the 1940-year patch. And I bought the patch and put it on a shirt, and that's what I'm wearing. But this is radio.

This is a podcast, so it doesn't mean very much of anything. But you described it beautifully. Thank you. It's got like a geodesic dome sphere thingy. Yeah. And then a tall pointy thingy. That's right. It's like if Epcot and the Washington Monument were next to each other.

There you go. On a patch right before World War II. I couldn't have said it better. Nicely done, Graham Elwood. So let's see. I wrote down some questions in case we ran out of stuff to talk about. First of all, may I call you Len? Because I say Len all the time when I say it's time

for the Len Malton game. Well, that's when I'm not here. Today, call me Leonard. Okay, Leonard. But that's good, though. He's basically giving me permission

to use it in his absence. So next week is going to be back to the name that shall not be spoken this week. That's right.

Right. So, Leonard, how many... Is he saying I'm the Voldemort of film critics what is that what is that

no you're definitely not I think I know who that is okay that's anyone who says something just to be quoted in the ad

yeah that you must hate those people because you have genuine opinions I don't hate those people I hate the process I hate the idea

that that's how they advertise movies. And that some, I'll tell you a little inside story. Would you like a little inside story? Here's an inside story. Is that every now and then, if I'll go to an advanced screening of a movie, I'll get an email from a publicist for the studio, let's say the next day, they say, did you like the movie? I'll write back and say, no, yes, whatever. I'm always honest with them. And they say, if you liked it, would you be willing to give us a quote? If I really like the movie, and it's a movie I think people ought to go to see,

I've got no problem being quoted about it. But I don't write good quotes. Good quotes are, I laughed till I cried. I don't write quotes like that. So they never like my quotes. But then they'll try to persuade me sometimes. They'll say, it would really mean a lot if you gave us a quote. We'd really appreciate having a quote from you on this movie.

And either I'll try or I'll say, that's the best I could do. And then I'll pick up the ad when it comes out. And they'll have quoted Fred Fleebish fleabish from the east overshoe gazette you know it's like that that means as much to you as my quote would have they don't care whose quote it is they're looking they've pre-written these quotes in their head they really have they want somebody to say the uh the the funniest film of the summer and And whoever is the first one to say that will get quoted. Right, right.

No matter who it is. So it's really insulting, actually. Yeah, and especially when they said that about District 9. That seemed very misleading because that movie's kind of heavy. Precious, it's the laugh riot of the year. That's right.

The Road, the best family movie of the season Did you hear that? He said The Road Nobody saw The Road One guy wrote to me on Twitter today How come no love for The Road at the Oscars? I was like, did you see The Road? That is heavy, that movie

It's rough, did you see it? Yeah, it is a tough one I thought Viggo Mortensen might have been nominated It's a really good performance Yeah it? Yeah, it is a tough one. I thought Viggo Mortensen might have been nominated. It's a really good performance. Yeah, why did he get shut out? I guess there's kind of a last-minute push for Colin Firth. Everybody's into him in that movie. He's good.

I like him. I mean, I thought he was great. He was teaching his son how to kill himself so he doesn't get eaten by people. How can you not win for that? He's like, here you go, son. Not this way. Right up through the brain. That's good business. That's good

parenting. Don't just shoot it straight into your mouth because now you're going to walk around with a hole in the back of your head and brains. You're still going to be able to think about what you just did. That's post-modern parenting. That's what it is. Exactly.

I had such a problem with that movie. I wanted to see that kid get eaten by cannibals. He deserved it. He was a whining little kid who didn't want to learn anything from his father. He was unwilling to learn. Do you know who I want to see die in Inglourious Bastards? Who's that, Doug? There is this one little whiny character.

Whiny? Now, I don't know if people know this. I'm jumping all around now. But I find it so exciting that there's a scene in Inglourious Bastards where Sam Levine makes a cameo not as Hershberger. It's all Jews to you, isn't it, Doug? Wow. Hershstein.

Yeah. Hirschwitz is, but there's another scene in the movie. Do you want to say it or can I say it? No, go for it. There's a scene where Hitler's getting his portrait painted, right? That's right. And Sam is the artist.

He's got a little crazy Italian mustache on. And a giant wig on. Or something. And a wig. And up on that scaffold painting the panda portrait. Yeah, and he's the one painting it. So go back and watch that again. Rewind. And go, you know what? They described

it well enough. Now that I'm looking at it, it's not adding anything to it. Not a thing. I'm not like, oh my god, I can't believe I didn't know that was Sam Levine. Yep. Quentin Tarantino and his tricks. I was watching The View this morning. Oh, my God.

Oh, Doug. Come on. Because Mario Cantone did his Grammy wrap-up. Oh, of course. And I love to be screamed at, gay references, while I'm trying to eat my cereal. But the one hilarious thing he said about Quentin Tarantino when they showed him walking out. Did you see him on the Grammys? I did.

Quentin's somehow packed on a few since a couple weeks ago. He looked big. Maybe it was the shirt he was wearing. But Mario Cantone said, Did he eat John Travolta? So I enjoyed that. But back to let's go

to the Oscar nominations that came out today. Was that today? Yeah. Oh, jeez. You set your alarm for that came out today. Was that today? Yeah. Oh, jeez. You set your alarm for 5.30 today, didn't you? I slept in today. You slept through it? Oh. You missed it completely?

I miss all the good stuff. What do you think about this 10 movies being nominated thing? I was actually there today. Oh, okay. You were there behind Sam Rubin but facing the action instead of a camera. And what do you think about this 10 movies being nominated for Best Picture? It seems to have worked because it got Avatar in there. And District 9.

Right. Popular movies, I mean. District 9 would have had a hard time getting in the top five, I think. And it's a great movie. So I'm really happy just for that. That that got in there. Exactly. I think what happened was, you know, everything's clawing at the Oscars supremacy as the granddaddy of all these awards. It's the only one that has real history, real tradition, and real respect.

But all these other shows have come along and stolen their thunder. It comes after a million shows each year. Exactly. You've seen the clips, you've seen the acceptance speeches, you've seen the gowns. You know, it's harder and harder for them to keep their position in that arena. Exactly. You've seen the clips, you've seen the acceptance speeches, you've seen the gowns. It's harder and harder for them to keep their position in that arena. So they're trying to do things. And I give them credit for trying. I didn't see how they were going to fill a list of ten.

Yeah, they picked the worst year to do it. Exactly. But it's a pretty good list. It's really not bad. It's a good list if you have to pick ten. Exactly. But if you were to pick ten. Exactly. But if you were just like, what were your favorite movies last year? You'd name three or four of those. You wouldn't name all ten of them. They're not all for everybody. There's a few on there that I don't think are that great.

I agree with you. Blindside. Well, Blindside was the big surprise, right? The audience kind of shrieked when it was announced today. No, that was the publicist shrieking. The publicist was shrieking. Yay! I'm not going to be fired!

Yeah, it's a bad economy for publicists probably right now because it all hinges on something like that. But that movie was a great story told in a decent manner. It's a crowd pleaser. It was a total crowd pleaser. So that and Avatar will, you know,

the fact that they're nominated for best picture will probably you know probably will make viewership spike a little bit i hope so i mean that's it that was their goal if it works you know i think it's fine and it does give some you know a nice boost to some films like an education and district nine that are good movies those are both really good you know that and maybe it'll inspire somebody want to see them who wasn't interested before. That's a good thing, too. This is the first time there were nominees that I'd never heard of.

Like, I mean, obviously, the foreign films and short subject, there's some that I haven't heard of. But what is Secret of Kells in the animation? Yeah, well, that's a film that hasn't been released yet. They did a one-week run. They did a one-week thing in L.A.? Yeah, they did a one-week run. Oh, I missed it.

Those are always in Fallbrook or someplace like that. They book them for one week just to qualify. My friends who are really into animation tell me it's a very good film. Oh, I'd imagine it's very good if it squeaked in there and beat out Cloudy with partial meatballs. Right, and Ponyo and all those other possibilities. Cloudy with partial meatballs. Oh, I wish I could see the the sun There's a meatball up there It's not as exciting in 3D

To have a meatball just actually hanging in the sky Like a cloud I read a good statistic 12 of the 20 acting nominees Are first time nominees So there's a lot of newcomers One person's clapping Let's hear it for the new people.

The Meryl Streep's been running this show for too long. She could get nominated. If she wasn't in Julia and Julia, she probably would have gotten nominated for It's Complicated anyway. She's just like... He didn't like It's Complicated. You know what? It's not. It's not that complicated. It's not, really.

It's like my ex-husband wants to get back together with me, but I've met this new guy. Wait, where was the complicated part? Oh, I have to redesign. I have to have my kitchen redesigned. That's the complicated part. And then the whole scene, like, all the kids are like, oh, my God, our mom and dad back together.

I'm sure more than half this audience has adult parents who are divorced like me. Would you give a shit if your parents hooked up? Would you be like, all right, whatever. What happened to stepmom? is she still coming to christmas or do i have to buy her a gift now or is she just fucking on the road like they're all crying because that generation our parents generation still thinks their divorces fucking matter and all of us are like bad divorce whatever you know i mean i married a stripper we're not still married it doesn't fucking matter things change what's the language in front of Leonard

our esteemed guest well go back and listen to this podcast of how you introduce him ladies and gentlemen we got a fucking big god damn guest I did not say that I'm so fucking ding doggity stone I did not say that I've been soaking my face in a big fat sack of cock sucking weed I did not say that. I'm so fucking ding-doggety stone. I did not say that.

I did not say that. I've been soaking my face in a big fat sack of cock-sucking weed. Ladies and gentlemen, Leonard Maltin. I didn't say any of that. Hold on. Great. But I'm gonna if he ever comes back. If he's ever back on the show again.

Any snubs today in the nominations in your mind? I don't like that word. It's like it's deliberate. Right, right. Like, oh, I'm going to vote against that person. We're going to get Viggo Mortensen this year. Yeah, but he would be one. He would be an example of one. Anybody else?

I don't think there was nothing that I missed. You liked in education? Yeah. Alfred Molina. He should have been nominated for Best Supporting Actor. He's a great actor. Always good. And he's a great part.

And he did a beautiful job. And I wish he'd been nominated. I don't understand why Stanley Tucci is nominated for The Lovely Bones when he should have been nominated for Julie and Julia. He's really great in Julie and Julia. He's great in that. He and Meryl Streep are so much fun to watch together in that movie. I think that's the one. Yeah, Lonely Bones is like a total glasses and haircut performance.

Yeah. Like it was just he looked like a creep and then he stood around looking like a creep. Yeah, he's a good actor, and he did it well. Everyone on the set was like, ugh, when he walked in each day. Craft services didn't always make the best, didn't keep things fresh for him, because they thought he might really be a child molester. But that's the other thing, is they take that they take the you know I don't want to be insensitive but you know

in the book the girl is you know abused before he kills her and in the movie they just make it into a murder

you know because there's so many creepy pedophile types that just want to murder the girl and then bury her and that's the whole that's their whole deal

I don't even know if that's ever happened I'm not an expert on that sort of thing but but that movie was just like I could you know know if that's ever happened. I'm not an expert on that sort of thing. But that movie was just like, if intent were everything, it would be a four-star movie.

But what did it end up getting on your scale of one to four? Two and a half. Yes. You nailed it, Len. Hard. Good save, Doug. Good save. I'm just so used to saying it

that I can't change. Can I just say that as far as supporting actors goes, it really didn't matter who the other four nominees were because that is the most... Because who doesn't want to see Christoph Waltz give another horrible speech? What? He is the worst.

I mean, I know that English isn't necessarily his first language, but he showed us that he's got five or six languages in his canon. So why can't he give a good speech? The one at the... What was it? The... Globes? Screen Actors Guild. Yes.

No, the Grammys. But what's the one that had the word choice in it? People's Choice. He won the People's Choice? Yeah. Critics' Choice.

Critics' Choice. That's it. Critics' Choice. Did he win the Taster's Choice? He did. They're going to reshoot those commercials from the 80s with him and that lady. In the Critics' Choice, he went up there and picked a dialect somewhere in between the 18 languages he knows, and he said, there

are a lot of choices. When there are choices, this was an excellent choice. He just thought, since it's Critic's Choice, I'll do a speech that says choice over and over again. I didn't see that one. And it was brutal. You didn't see it? That's the other thing.

Why isn't Sam Levine jumping up there when the cast wins an award? For two reasons. Because you were like, if Brad's not going to be there, I'm not going to be there. That's reason one. It's not worth my time unless BP is showing up. Are you having marriage troubles as well? Is that why? I am. I don't want to

expose myself right now to the media. No, I was in Sundance during the SAG Awards. Oh, okay. That is why I was not there. And gays can't get married. So it's really... I will not show up to an awards ceremony until everyone who wants to get married can.

That's really... That's so sweet. Yeah, whoever moaned me can suck it. I was saying something nice. Leonard, I apologize for the poor language. Mr. Moulton, sir, I don't want you to give this podcast less than three stars.

No, that's fine. Just your performance in it. He's too busy with movies to rate podcasts. Because that was the question I was going to ask you right up at the top. How many movies do you have to see everything? Do you feel like you have to see everything? No, no.

Well, first, I've gotten choosier as I've gotten older. I've decided that, indeed, life is too short to spend any of it watching any more teen slasher movies. There's a movie opening Friday called Frozen about some people who are stuck on a ski lift. It's like, wait a minute.

These are the movies that put food on my table. It's the dead, that's right. And I'm grateful for the, I'm grateful. Oh, ski lift operator number two. I live. The one who goes to get help right away and you never see him again. No, but I'm secure in the knowledge, Doug, that no matter what I say or don't say about that movie, it's going to make a damn bit of difference to the fate of that movie.

Right, right. Whether I review it, don't review it, hate it, love it. That movie has its life. It has its niche, its following, whatever it's going to be. That's fine. I don't have to go to see it. And why would you want to go to see In the Dead of Winter, a movie called Frozen? Is that appealing to someone?

Yeah, well, I don't know. I think they'll sell a lot of tickets in Florida or whatever. Maybe so. So anyway, I've gotten more selective. And I don't have a gig that demands that I review absolutely everything. In my annual book, I have a team of people working with me. Let's one of them go see Frozen. Let's call them minions.

That's right. Elves. Elves. My movie elves my movie elves movie elves I love it yeah that is so cute

but wouldn't elves hate movies that like feature tall actors like aren't they biased aren't you aren't you making assumptions I am I'm making an ass out of you anumption

they hated it to quote I believe it was Samuel L. Jackson in The Last Kiss Goodnight. Is that what it was called? Long Kiss Goodnight? Long Kiss Goodnight. You've seen these movies, right? Mm-hmm. Okay.

Oh, I've seen a lot of movies, but I haven't seen the number of movies. Because for a while there, you were a dedicated see-it-all critic. There was a period. I was on a show called Hot Ticket for three years, a weekend movie review show where I really did have to see everything. What was your scale on that? It's debilitating. See it or don't see it? No, hot or not. Hot or not.

Schindler's List is hot. Frozen is not. That's right. They always want shorthand. They always want they always want shorthand they always want some form of shorthand yeah but didn't

the is hot label kind of feel like Precious is hot like there's every year there's going to be a movie that it's weird to call it hot

the whole thing was weird I didn't break it down by film by film yeah yeah but for three years I really had no life because I had to go see everything. And believe me, as much as you love movies or as I love movies or any of these guys, and we're all movie buffs, but there's a difference between really enjoying movies and going to see a lot

or maybe binging one day, I'm going to see three in a row, I'm going to see four in a row, because you feel like doing it just for the hell of it. There's a big difference between that and being told, you've got to go see this movie, you've got to go see it at 10 o'clock Monday morning, and be at the screening room at 10 o'clock Monday morning to see Frozen. And then at 1 o'clock in the afternoon, you have to drive all the way across town. I'm not whining. It's a great gig.

Truly, truly. I mean, people don't want to hear you whine when you get paid to see movies. But I'm just saying that it takes some of the fun. People don't get that all of them is too much and it ruins it. That they get to choose is part of the fun for them. Well, exactly. Not for us. Because the truth is there are more bad ones than good ones.

There are certainly more mediocre ones than good ones. And repetitive. Like that's my problem. Like my issue with Avatar is just that as amazing as the technology is, the storytelling is very – it's all been done. Like every beat of that story. It's Pocahontas in space. I mean that's what that movie is. Or Ferngully.

Yeah. And Graham Elwood did not see Ferngully or Pocahontas. What about Dances with Wolves? I can guarantee you that. Yeah, Dances with Wolves is another one everybody brings up. But I also think he borrows from his own oeuvre. Like, his own past movies have a lot of the same beats, you know? But, you know, it is...

But it's a great movie-going experience. Yes. Well, I think it should be, like, a best event movie of the year. Yeah. And it should be the biggest event movie of all time. Like, the fact that they're saying it's beaten Titanic and Dark Knight and even Gone with the Wind. Yeah, but it has. Those movies were all more popular.

They just didn't cost $17. Right. You know, to see in 3D with the Wind. Yeah, but it hasn't. Those movies were all more popular. They just didn't cost $17 to see in 3D with the glasses and the IMAX. Right. Let's go to a caller. Okay, so... I've been whining about Avatar since the day it opened, and it's very tiresome. So let's skip over to another one of my pre-planned questions.

Back to the Oscars. Exciting. Worst best picture ever. Worst movie to win best picture. I know what mine is. Oh, wow. You go first. We'll get one from each of the panelists.

Mine is Around the World in 80 Days. Wow. That's probably a candidate. Yeah, because basically it was made to show off a widescreen format, like Cinerama, and it was basically just long scenes of watching an elephant parade in India. Nothing ever happens. It's supposed to be about dudes getting around the world in 80 days, and they stop off in each place and just hang out

like they got all the time in the world. The one that people usually cite, if they're going back to that period, like the 50s, is The Greatest Show on Earth, Cecil B. DeMille's circus movie, which came out the same year as High Noon, which didn't even get nominated. High Noon did get nominated,

but Singing in the Rain didn't even get nominated that year. Wow, somebody got punched in the balls in the audience. That was the most manly anger about Singing in the Rain. How could that happen? But I happen to love The Greatest Show on Earth. I haven't loved all the films in recent... I mean, I don't think A Beautiful Mind is a great movie. How about Crash?

That one slipped through. Crash winning Best Picture? Yeah, that was kind of rough. Crash is a movie that has good things in it. Yeah. You know? I thought Brokeback Mountain kind of got robbed in that one. Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Queer. I mean, I'm not going to... We've already established this. I'm not going to go back and watch either of them. I'm not gonna we've already established this I'm not gonna go back I'm not gonna go back and watch either of them

I'm good from the first viewing you know cause like Brokeback Mountain as great as it is it's slow going until they start getting it on

and then it's ew two dudes are getting it on so it's like never it's never pleasant it's never pleasant and now to go back

and look at it cause like Heathath ledger in that movie and and dark knight and a couple other things he did he was clearly going to be the amazing actor of all time like he was poised to be the new like sean penn i think i wish they would have done this 10 uh best picture nominations a year ago so dark knight could have got a nomination because i think that movie was i don't think it needed to expand to 10 for that movie to be nominated. Yeah, no doubt. Well, yeah, they could have kicked out. I don't even remember.

Like, the next year, do you ever remember what was nominated? No, of course not. It's so hard. It's so hard to remember. It's so intense while it's... It's very intense while it's happening. And then it goes in the record books. And you move on.

Yeah, I mean, it's... Unless you're Tom O'Neill, like that guy that knows all the statistics and shows up on every show and says, this is going to win. And then when it doesn't, he goes, here's why it didn't. I'm an expert. But it does seem kind of a lot of foregone conclusions, like Christoph Waltz is going to win, and Sandra Bullock seems to kind of have a lock on that. Monique

is definitely going to win. And then who's the actor that's going to win? Jeff Bridges. Oh yeah, Jeff Bridges, of course. Who's always great. But he's getting the Paul Newman Color of Money Award. It's About Time Award. Yeah, for sure. Because he's great in it,

but it's not like he hasn't been great repeatedly. And this one kind of showcases the acting to the detriment of the film. It's not a great movie. Yeah, exactly. It's just a great performance. Like, there's always a couple of those for best actor and best actress. Walk the line. Where there's a great performance, but then the movie's like, eh, whatever.

Yeah, Walk the Line was filled with two great performances. Reese won for that, right? She did, yeah. Yeah, that was deserved. Do you know that, right? She did, yeah. That was deserved. Do you know John Lithgow by any chance, like personally? I've met him. Met him. Nice guy, right?

Very nice guy. That's my next. I've been trying to, you know, you just sort of dropped in my lap. I mean, you've been a dream guest from day one, but when Sam came along and said he could hook it up, I was like, let's do this. But I'm also trying to get, in this calendar year, John Lithgow, because he's in the movie 2010,

and I just think it'd be fun to talk to him about while he was making that movie, if he thought by 2010 he'd be murdering people in bathtubs. In the nude. Graham's looking at me like, what? He played a serial killer on Dexter this last year. And he's winning all sorts of awards for it. Graham doesn't own a TV, thought you were being serious.

No, he just doesn't watch Dexter. I was like, the guy from Garp is murdering people? That's messed up. Nobody saw that. World According to Garp, Netflix, Q, do it now. Wouldn't that be great? I mean, not great, because people would die, but wouldn't that be awesome

if some famous actor decided to be a serial killer, and then when they finally got caught, everybody would be like, what? A famous actor has 18 bodies in his basement? Willem Dafoe! Do two people count as a serial killer? What a shithead! Does two people count as a serial killer? What a shithead! Does two people count

as a serial killer? Because we already have O.J. Simpson. Oh! I took a shot at a murderer! Come down hard on me! Wow!

Alleged murderer, alleged murderer. He's guilty of trying to rob his own shit back, but he's just an alleged murderer. And guilty in the civil suit. Oh, that's right.

He owes a lot of money to the Wax Mustache Foundation. And thank you for moaning that thing that happened 16 years ago. We really appreciate you. Hey, too soon, Sam. He wasn't convicted. Too soon. He wasn't convicted. So people just don't get over stuff. So I guess we've got to play

the Leonard Maltin game. I think we've got to. Yeah. Time is running out on us already. I had so many things I wanted to do. I'm going to lose. Whatever game you play based on... Oh, believe me. I'm great at this game until I'm playing it in a pressure situation then it's like it's all gone like it's it's it's hard you list a lot of actors

yeah with each movie what what was the decision behind that i love other guides don't so much i love actors i love character actors and you know supporting actors and i like to see them get credit uh for for what they do especially if they have a good part even if it's a small part. So I do tend to list a lot of people. Thank you. Yeah. You're welcome. You're welcome. Yeah, that's how Sam got listed in another

teen movie or whatever. Or whatever. I'm so disdainful of him. He's got a million credits and I'm sitting over here. I was in Super Jaime. Oh, you don't even use the'm sitting over here. I was in super. Hi, me. Oh, you don't even use the old-fashioned book. You have the app? Yeah, I go app.

Wow. I didn't know this. Yeah, I tap on your face and we're off to the races. All right. Wow. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Say it right, Doug. Doug.

Doug, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Get it right. Get it right. The great Leonard Maltin, everybody. Wait, wait, wait. Get it right. You pay $2.99. Noaltin, everybody. Wait, wait, wait. Get it right. You pay $2.99.

No, it's five bucks. You tap on my face. It's five bucks. You bought it the first week. Oh, it's gone down? Yeah. Ooh. You can owe that, people. What happened to stock in Leonard Maltin's face?

That's how you know Doug's not Jewish. Right there. Yeah, I bought it. As soon as it was available, I bought it for the $5. But $5, $3, once you pay it, they send you updates all the time, and you're good to go. And it's just fantastic. Now, the guys who program this have really done a great job. Yeah, I really like it.

It's laid out nicely. I can get around without screwing up too much. Do you get a taste every time somebody downloads it, Leonard? A little piece of the action? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Atta boy.

I like hearing that because I always hate the like, I invented this thing and everyone uses it and they paid me a nickel and now I'm living in a box. I'm glad you're like, nope, I came here on a magic carpet, you sons of bitches. While Doug is looking up a movie, I just want to promote the show you and I were talking about before On the Reels channel A show called Secrets Out

That Leonard has been hosting for four seasons now I did not know that I've only been watching it about a year and a half It's a really great show if you like movies Find the Reels channel On your R-E-E-L-Z Reels channel There's a web component Reelschannel. R-E-E-L-Z. Reels Channel. There's a web component, reelschannel.com.

And what's the premise of the show? It's a weekly half-hour show where I talk about and show excerpts from good movies you may have missed. New indie films and foreign films and documentaries that are playing in theaters or newly released on DVD. And then we do one classic every episode. And sometimes we have interview guests. It's a great forum, great showcase for me to talk about films I like.

That sounds awesome. I'm going to have to figure out if I have reels. I don't know if I do. Does anybody know if I have reels? It's on DirecTV nationwide and it's on a lot of cable systems as well. I have it. Would you like somebody to play for you tonight, sir? I would love Sam to play for me. What's your name?

Justin. What the hell is going on? Justin, okay. Sam, you're playing for Justin. All right, Justin. Yeah, there's prizes involved in this, too, so don't feel the pressure, Leonard. All right, and what's your name? Marianne.

Who would you like to have play for you? Leonard. Leonard, yeah, of course. I don't know why this idiot picked Sam. You picked me. I meant Justin. Alright. I already forgot your name. Marianne. Justin, Marianne.

I'm just going to call you Mary Jane. That's easier for me. And what's your name, sir? Gabriel. Gabriel. And you would like Graham to play for you. I mean, I know you would like Graham to play for you, but he's going to. So I'm sorry about that. Apologize in advance.

Do you guys remember the names of your players? No. Justin? Graham forgot his already. I apologize in advance, Marianne, for my poor performance. What's your name again? Graham already forgot. Gabriel.

Gabriel. Gabriel, blow your horn. Let's do it. You're going to forget again, aren't you? No, I got it. That thing locked it in. All right. Big guy, sweetie your horn. Let's do it. You're going to forget again, aren't you? No, I got it. That thing locked it in. Big guy, sweetie, angel. Let's let Leonard start it off.

You get to pick what year the movie's going to be from. The category, in honor of you, is movies that begin with the letter L. Oh, okay. All the movies tonight on the show are going to begin with the letter L. Little Shop of Horrors. Please, no pre-guessing. I'm sorry. I don't have time to delete that now. the movies tonight on the show are going to begin with the letter L. Little Shop of Horrors. Please no pre-guessing. I'm sorry. I don't have time to delete that now and I'm going to end up saying it

later. Not really. That was fake anger part of it. Okay. Leonard, would you like to do a movie from 1991, 92, or 2006? You choose. I don't have a preference. Well, no. I mean, you know, this is like to do a movie from 1991, 92, or 2006? You choose. I really don't.

I don't have a preference. Well, no. I mean, you know, this is like part of the game. It's part of the game. Oh, my goodness. Like, oh, easier to remember something from 2006. I already know an L word from 91. An L title.

So, 91, 92, or 2006? 92. All right. Here we go. This movie is a motion picture. You or one of your minions, one of your elves, gave this two and a half stars. Okay. It begins with the letter L.

It's from 1992. And I'll give you a little quote from it, see if you even recognize that. You call one of the performers in this movie never credible. That probably knocked one and a half stars off right there. And there are ten names. So you can start the bidding with

I can name that movie in ten names or you can leap down to two or three. And I'll read them from the bottom of course. I'll try can name that movie in ten names, or you can leap down to two or three. Oh, okay. And I'll read them from the bottom, of course. I'll try to name that movie in five names. All right. So Sam can either try to underbid you, or he can say, Leonard Maltin, name that movie. I'm a gambling man. I'll try for four names.

Whoa. Graham Elwood. Name that movie, little Sammy. All right, Sam. Good luck with this. 1992. I would not know this. 1992. I would not know this.

Thanks. All right. Dolores Hall. Of course. Nobody who knows who that is. My apologies to Dolores and her family. Can you imagine like her kid listens to my podcast? Her kid's an old man?

She's got a weird Benjamin Button baby. All right. And then LaChanze is a name. Does that help you at all? No. I think LaChanze is on Broadway a lot. I think she's black. And then MC Ganey.

Oh, I know him. He's a big guy. Big guy. What did you work with him in? A movie called Club Dread. Fun. I like that movie. And then Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Okay. I think you gave Club Dread a bomb. I wouldn't blame him. It's entirely possible. Yeah, yeah. Entirely possible. But anyway. Wow.

Philip Seymour Hoffman and MC Ganey in what have to be small roles in a movie from 1992. Right? There's nobody here knows this. I don't really remember Philip Seymour Hoffman in was the... Take your time with it. Al Pacino where he's blind. Right, right. Scent of a Woman. Scent of a Woman.

Yeah, he was in Scent of a Woman and Twister and he was in a bunch of stuff. And I always... He was always like... He was always an annoying character. Yeah. And I thought he was in Scent of a Woman and Twister and he was in a bunch of stuff and I always he was always like he was always an annoying character and I thought he was an annoying person and then he finally played like a nice character

and I went oh my god he's just been an amazing actor all this time that guy is fantastic I mean I love him in everything now but I used to see him in stuff

and they always made him play like the jerky villain kid like especially Scent of a Woman that was such a poorly he was always that kid. He was always the rich entitlement kid who was like, so what? My dad will pay for it.

He was always that guy. Alright, so jump in if you know it. Meatloaf, Lucas Haas, Liam Neeson, Lolita Davidovich, Debra Winger, and Steve Martin. Leap of faith. Who is never credible in Leap of Faith. Should have never credible in Leap of Faith.

Should have given you what? We're playing a game. I would have gotten that. I love that. With more time? My favorite Steve Martin movie. Do you want to tell us more stories about Steve Martin? How many people have seen this movie, Leap of Faith?

I've seen it. I like it. It's awesome. Steve Martin plays a fake faith healer who goes on a traveling televangelist, not televangelist, but an evangelist roadshow. And it's basically, they're scam artists. And it's amazing. Ricky Jay was a consultant on the movie.

This is from either 1991. No, I do. I might give it three stars. I might go higher than the Leonard Maltin guy. Who's never credible in that, though? But Steve Martin. He's right. I think Steve Martin would be better at playing that role now

than he was at that time. He put a little too much wild and crazy guy moves in there. He was still a little too much like a comedian. But you're right. It is an interesting movie. The way they show the behind the scenes of the scams and how those things work is actually pretty entertaining. Alright.

That said, shut up. Let's play the game. Graham, do you want to do 91, 2006, or 76, 1976? This is an L title. Don't take too long to think about it. 91.

We got to get going. All right. You go first, Graham. Two and a half stars again. This right. You stop. Okay. All right, you go first, Graham. Two and a half stars again. This time I'd agree. I might even give it less. It's an L title.

And it says several of the lead person, the lead actor in the movie, says several of that person's cronies make cameo appearances. Oh, wait. And it says a deleted scene with John Lithgow was added to the film's cable TV debut. Does that give it away for you? No. Okay, good. That's a pretty good clue though. But it's pretty interesting. Yeah, but also

the timing that I didn't pick it because John Lithgow was cut out of it, but now here he is. So I'll have to ask him about that if I ever get him on the show this year. His son wrote to me on Twitter and gave me his email address, but he hasn't written back to me. Maybe it's because I said, hi, I want to take a bath with you.

Okay, Graham. This has one, two, three, four, five, nine names. I can name it in six. Oh, look at him go. Leonard, do you think you can do it in less, or do you want him go. Leonard, do you think you can do it in less? Or do you want him to name that movie?

Name that movie. Nice. Nicely played. Nicely played. Well, sooner. Imon is in this movie. Or Emon. Emon.

Yeah. Oh, would you go out with her or something? Yeah, I was her rebound guy after she broke up with Bowie. She carried it around in her pocket for a couple weeks. Okay. It was like Cirque du Soleil. Let's do it. Patrick Stewart is in this movie. Maybe he's one of those cronies that he was talking about.

Sam McMurray, who I know who that is, Sam McMurray. He was on Tracy Ullman's show. He played my father on Freaks and Geeks. Shut up. Just saying. Just saying. I'm just kidding. That's an awesome

piece of information. He's in Raising Arizona. Kevin Pollack is also a friend of yours, friend of mine. We love his podcast. We appear on there.

Sarah Jessica Parker. What do you get? Six names? One more. Mary Lou Henner. Do you know it already? How could you not give me this movie? I could have gotten it in two names. Well,. Mary Lou Henner. Do you know it already? Why did you not give me this movie? I could have gotten it in two names.

Well, watch him not get it. I should have had a leap of faith. I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed. Okay, so Graham's got a point. Leonard's got a point. The movie was, the rest of the names are

Richard E. Grant, Victoria Tennant, and Steve Martin. L.A. Story. L.A. Story. It's two Steve Martin-led films. Perfect. But two and a half,

I'd agree with that. It doesn't quite work. It's got some very cute moments. Wonderful moments. I like when the freeway signs tell him things. That's good. See, that's better. Because I wish they'd tell me things instead of just some girls missing.

LA Story is better than Crash. You know what I mean? In my opinion, LA Story is better than Crash. I agree. Well, that's an interesting comparison. Okay, Sam, we'll let you go first this time. It's a consolation prize for me playing my own game the way I want to play it.

How dare you. 2006, 76, or 2006? See, that's dumb on my part. Two different 2006s. Do you want the first 2006 or the second 2006? I'll go with the first 2006. Or 76. You'll go with the first one?

Alright, this is a good one. This is yours to lose, Sam. It sure is. Four stars for Mr. Malton and his crew. Which year did we settle on? His posse. We settled on 2006. Okay. And let's get a clue out of here.

Oh, just one word I'll throw in there It's good Spellbinding I've got it See, you've got what it takes to be in quotes and ads Spellbinding is a good word to use And there are 12 names

Sam Levine, how many names can you name This spellbinding Four-star L word from 2006? Six names. Six names. Graham? Name that movie. Wow. How many names did he get?

Six? Six names. Here we go. Do you have any idea? I have some You've got some ideas? Yeah, I've got some ideas Alright Raymond J. Berry

Alright Great name Oh, didn't play your dad anything, did he? No No, he did not Never worked with Raymond J. Berry yet Jane Addams Okay

Mary B. McCann Don't know who that is Helen Carey Trini Alvarado You only have one more name I think I have it You think you have it? I think I have it

Oh god that'll be so exciting if you have it Phyllis Somerville was in this movie Oh Phyllis Is it Little Miss Sunshine? No But that's sort of a guess Somerville was in this movie. Old Phyllis. Is it Little Miss Sunshine? No, but that's sort of a guess. I thought Jane Addams was in that. No, it's Little Children. Yes!

The other little. I can't be Leonard Maltin. But Graham did officially win the game, mostly by not knowing anything and just making Sam miss the questions. So, Gabriel, I remembered, Gabriel, you win a Too Drunk to Tweet t-shirt. I can't even say it right. It's hard to say.

You win one of those. You win a copy of my CD, Humoridian Still available at AST Records If anybody wants to pick one up It's a nice little independent label You want to throw yours in, Graham? Yeah, let's do it Graham's got a CD It's called The Comedian's Got a Boo Boo

And And You can Where can people get that? They can get it on iTunes And also at ComedyFilnerds.com. And this is a piece de resistance since I have the app now. I don't need the

big clunky book anymore. So you win a copy of Leonard Walton's 2010 movie guide signed by me. Alright. Alright. All right. All right. That's a rare item.

Please do sign it. Oh, you can get the Too Drunk to Tweet shirt at donkeytees.com. I say that every week. I don't know why I have to say it anymore. And let's find out who the shitheads are going to be at the end of the show

because the losers get to choose. Oh, that's a good one. Mary Jane? Mary Ann? Really? Okay. Look at that. Oh, where'd you sign it?

On the inside? Yeah, on the top of the page. Do you have a thing that you write? It's hot Damn it How did you guess? Okay okay okay So wait what's happening?

Oh okay He held it up over his head and got applause That's awesome I'm the winner Alright I gotta write it down Before I forget I already forgot one of them What was yours?

Oh yeah yeah yeah Alright Way to blow this surprise Do you guys have anything You want to plug before we go? The Kevin Pollak Chat Show KevinPollakChatShow.com Every Sunday 5pm Pacific

Check it out Oh are you on it Like every week? You're like a sidekick now? Indeed. When I was on, you weren't there, so I had to come back and do it. I was there, Doug. I just wasn't miked.

You were physically there. You just didn't say anything. I wasn't miked. Right. Now I am. Now you're miked. All right. I also have a movie podcast, comedyfilmnerds.com podcast.

It is available on iTunes. And, of course, I'm on Graham Elwood, Twitter, MySpace, Facebook. Check out my tour dates. Buy my new CD. The comedian's got a boo-boo. That's pretty much how you say it. And I see Leonard brought a new volume, a new book that he's created. Coming out next week called Leonard Maltin's 151 Best Movies You've Never Seen.

Little essays about... Wow, can I just turn to any page and just see what's a best movie and see if I've never seen it? L.A. Story. You've probably seen it. Maltese Falcon, what's that? No, no. No, then he's got in parentheses 1931 version.

Ooh. Yeah, you all think you're so clever laughing at my joke. But from 1931, what's the difference? It's really interesting because it was made before the production code, so it's a little steamier in some ways, a little more raw. It's a very close adaptation of the Dashiell Hammett book, as was the John Huston one. All right.

So there's 151 of those movies. Most of them are contemporary movies. I have just a handful of old movies, but they're mostly contemporary. Is anybody going to be like, oh, I really want to see that, and then not be able to get it somewhere? No, they're all available. All available. Awesome. That's fantastic.

Leonard Moulton was here, you guys. This is historic. Right there. Absolutely historic. Graham Elwood, Sam Levine, Leonard Maltin. As always, Carson Daly is a shithead and Tyler Perry is a shithead.

I wish I could see the losers kick somebody. Hockey, there's no room in his heart for you cause Doug loves movies.